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Little People
01-12-2011, 02:05 PM
I want to have my parents only stay by my front door on rug when bringing and picking up their child/children. I have had a couple issues this week and I want to stop it before it gets out of hand. When parent is picking up, the children (problems only started this week) running, getting into things...anyway sometimes I will be having a pre-school class and a parent will walk into the room and her children will start acting out and then everyone is up.

I want all my parents to stay in the front door foyer area and I WILL BRING the children to them. Can someone help me word this. Usually I am very good at wording, but today is not one of my better days.:(

lvt77
01-12-2011, 02:57 PM
It is normal for some children to have difficulty separating from parents in the morning or not wanting to leave when it's time to go home. Please be very brief (no more than 5 minutes is sufficient) during these transition times. The longer you prolong the departure the harder it gets, and I need to focus my attention on the other children. A smile, cheerful good-bye kiss, and a reassuring word that you will be back are all that is needed in the morning. In my experience, children are nearly always quick to get involved in play or activities as soon as parents are gone. At This is also a time of testing when two different authority figures are present (the parent and the provider). All the children will test to see if the rules still apply. During arrivals and departures, parents must back of the Daycare (see House Rules). If you do not, provider will remind the child that their behavior is inappropriate and take action to correct, if needed. So please be in control of your child during drop off and pick up times. Please help show your child that you respect the rules of the daycare, as well as the provider by reminding them that the rules still apply whether you are here or not.
At drop off, do not leave until you have signed your child in, your child’s shoes have been removed and you have updated provider on any pertinent information – how your child slept, if there are any concerns or updates, and etc.

missnikki
01-12-2011, 04:08 PM
Parents:
In order to ensure the safety and quality of care for your children, we ask that at pickup you remember to stay in the foyer area (the entry hall by the front door) and wait for your child to be brought to you by daycare staff.
This will help to ensure a smooth transition from daycare to parent, and minimize the chaotic nature of pickup time for everyone.
Your cooperation is very much appreciated.

CoachingForQualityImprovement
01-12-2011, 04:19 PM
What they said is good.

However, you may want to consider the implications of insisting that parents do not leave the Foyer. Many parents want to be able to see where their children spend the majority of their day. I wouldn't leave my child where I wasn't welcome to come in and see what they are doing during the day, and to ensure that the environment is safe and healthy.

I know alot of providers feel differently, but for me, my families all are welcome to and do come in and walk throughout my entrie daycare environment

Former Teacher
01-12-2011, 04:54 PM
What they said is good.

However, you may want to consider the implications of insisting that parents do not leave the Foyer. Many parents want to be able to see where their children spend the majority of their day. I wouldn't leave my child where I wasn't welcome to come in and see what they are doing during the day, and to ensure that the environment is safe and healthy.

I know alot of providers feel differently, but for me, my families all are welcome to and do come in and walk throughout my entrie daycare environment

I totally agree. I would not like it if my provider would not allow me in an area that my child would be in. If a provider told me that I couldn't go in an area where my child is required to be, then I simply would find another provider.

mac60
01-12-2011, 05:30 PM
Things like this wouldn't be a problem if parents took the responsibility to actually parent the child and have respect for the providers home. My daycare room is to the back of the house, and can be seen from the front door entry. I don't want parents tramping thru my home with dirty and wet shoes on. And kids, parents show up and kids start flipping on and off the light switches, pulling at the blinds, touching everything on the stands, etc, all the while the parents stand there and do nothing. It doesn't take tramping thru a providers home to ensure they are in a safe environment, all you have to do is look around.

I think the suggestions written were fine.

lvt77
01-12-2011, 05:31 PM
I had a client tell me the reason she was moving her child to my daycare was becuase the old provider would not allow them to come all the way in the house. They thought that she was hiding something...

I have had issues similar to yours and so with the help of missniki, was able to figure out what to do and good verbage.

I have a dedicated room for DC and it has a locking gate, all parents must come to the back room to pick up their child and sign them out. This is so it realses the libality of the DC Once the child is signed out, its on the parents.... if the parents allow the children to break your stuff guess whos paying for it....Them....

Little People
01-12-2011, 05:44 PM
What they said is good.

However, you may want to consider the implications of insisting that parents do not leave the Foyer. Many parents want to be able to see where their children spend the majority of their day. I wouldn't leave my child where I wasn't welcome to come in and see what they are doing during the day, and to ensure that the environment is safe and healthy.

I know alot of providers feel differently, but for me, my families all are welcome to and do come in and walk throughout my entrie daycare environment

Thanks Crystal, When I interview my parents they are allowed in the daycare rooms. They spend 2 different days with us. And if a parent wants to come in and see their children I have no problem with that. My problem I am trying to fix is NOT that they can not come in the daycare rooms, it is at pick up time. But thank you, I have everything worked out!

Little People
01-12-2011, 06:01 PM
Things like this wouldn't be a problem if parents took the responsibility to actually parent the child and have respect for the providers home. My daycare room is to the back of the house, and can be seen from the front door entry. I don't want parents tramping thru my home with dirty and wet shoes on. And kids, parents show up and kids start flipping on and off the light switches, pulling at the blinds, touching everything on the stands, etc, all the while the parents stand there and do nothing. It doesn't take tramping thru a providers home to ensure they are in a safe environment, all you have to do is look around.

I think the suggestions written were fine.

THANK YOU !! Very well said!! When you come in my front door (a part of my livingroom) I have a very open space and then my 2 daycare room are off to the left. We moved the desk cross ways and added a gate :D Parents can stick their heads around the gate and peek :eek:. My problem (and it JUST started, Mom has been wonderful and been here 3 months) is the parents are going through the big D and the kids are back and forth :( and I believe Mom is in a daze, but the last 3 days when she drops off, she will stay 20 minutes and is LATE for work and her children will do things they are not allowed to do and I correct them!! and when she picks up it is horrible, they run, scream and so on and again I correct them, she will stay like 20 minutes and just watch them. Every day this week she has interrupted my pre-school class, we can not finish with the other children because the daycare becomes a zoo!! So today I have a school age DCG that comes in at 3:25 and Mom was still here and she knows I have to load 2 kids BY 3:30 to go pick up my DH. Then other DCG starting crying because of all the upsets. Anyway....My point is Parents WILL wait in the foyer and I will bring the children to them!! And if they want to see children in daycare room...THIS IS FINE but MAKE your child mind!! I love these 2 little girls and they are VERY GOOD girls, one is 3 and other is 18 months and they EXCELLENT with me!!

lvt77
01-12-2011, 06:59 PM
All the children will test to see if the rules still apply. During arrivals and departures, parents must back the Daycare on it's rules (see House Rules). If you do not, provider will remind the child that their behavior is inappropriate and take action to correct, if needed.

So please be in control of your child during drop off and pick up times. Please help show your child that you respect the rules of the daycare, as well as the provider by reminding them that the rules still apply whether you are here or not.


I found this helpful

Lucy
01-12-2011, 07:28 PM
Quotes from above posts:

"Many parents want to be able to see where their children spend the majority of their day. I wouldn't leave my child where I wasn't welcome to come in and see what they are doing during the day, and to ensure that the environment is safe and healthy."

"I would not like it if my provider would not allow me in an area that my child would be in. If a provider told me that I couldn't go in an area where my child is required to be, then I simply would find another provider."

"I had a client tell me the reason she was moving her child to my daycare was because the old provider would not allow them to come all the way in the house. They thought that she was hiding something..."


I totally agree with these statements, and have never understood why some do not allow parents to go in the area where care takes place.

Little People
01-13-2011, 03:28 AM
All the children will test to see if the rules still apply. During arrivals and departures, parents must back the Daycare on it's rules (see House Rules). If you do not, provider will remind the child that their behavior is inappropriate and take action to correct, if needed.

So please be in control of your child during drop off and pick up times. Please help show your child that you respect the rules of the daycare, as well as the provider by reminding them that the rules still apply whether you are here or not.


I found this helpful

Thank You!! This is in my handbook, and the last 3 days I have reminded this parent but it seems to go over her head. We have everything worked out. I moved my desk BACK to original spot!! Decided that this ONE PARENT will wait for me to bring her children to her in the evenings. I am also having a long talk with her this morning. I will not let her stand in the daycare rooms and for her to let her children go wild, run the doll strollers over another little girls feet, let her allow her children to run up and down the hall, let her allow her children to throw toys, let her allow her children to scream, let her disrupt a pre-school class and so on. I will let you know what happened after our talk this morning!

nannyde
01-13-2011, 03:36 AM
When parent is picking up, the children (problems only started this week) running, getting into things...anyway sometimes I will be having a pre-school class and a parent will walk into the room and her children will start acting out and then everyone is up.

Very common.

When I set up my fee structure I don't build in fees to manage parents in the play room. Having this happen eight times a day at drop off and pick up would be very dissruptive to the children and costly in staff time for me. I build in about five minutes per child per day at drop off and pick up. With eight kids that is already 80 minutes a day of parent conferencing time. I have to make sure I keep it to a reasonable amount of time or raise fees to accomodate. I do dorp off and pick ups right at the front door. This allows a full five minutes to talk about anything that we need to. Most parents stay a few minutes here and there but usually it's a toss and run in the morning and a brief conference at night.

I haven't changed my playroom in three years and I have tons of pictures of it on my website. They all have seen the play room during the three interviews they have before starting here. I haven't even added a wall hanging since they have been here. I haven't moved a toy box. Any time I add toys I keep them at the door for a few days until all the parents have seen them. There really isn't anything different to "see" in the room.

My sons school does preschool for three and four year olds. They do not allow parents in the rooms at pick up. They must wait outside the door and wait until their kid comes out of the door to receive them. They dismiss about fifteen minutes before the grade school kids to allow them to single file walk out of the room. They don't want any time where the parent is in the classroom because they stall leaving and hang out. The morning class teachers need to go on lunch break and the afternoon teachers need to go home. They tried the first year they started up to have parents in the room and by October they dropped it because they weren't getting lunch and they were having parents stay past their contract time which was costing them money.

For me.. it's about money. If you are building in the time for the parents to hang out then by all means. If you aren't then do the arrivals and departures at the door. It's not about the parent seeing the other day care kids and the room. They have all met each other and the room is the same as it was three years ago.

I would definitely do it if I could get them to pay for it. A dollar a minute playroom visitation fee would cover it. I could get a stop watch and clock them from the time they left the front door to go to the playroom till the time they walked out the front door. That would be AWESOME. :)

Hmmmm might have to add that one to my fees. :cool:

nannyde
01-13-2011, 04:01 AM
I will not let her stand in the daycare rooms and for her to let her children go wild, run the doll strollers over another little girls feet, let her allow her children to run up and down the hall, let her allow her children to throw toys, let her allow her children to scream, let her disrupt a pre-school class and so on.

Good description

Can you tell me if you feel that just asking her to discipline her children....Make them remain calm and polite..... Make them follow the rules you have in your child care... would stop the behavior? You already have it in your polices and she isn't abiding. Are there WORDS you can say to the Mom that will get her to manage this appropriately TODAY and in the future to get it to completely stop? Is there any counselling you can do with the parent to have her stop it immediately?

Would the other parents of the children who are being ran over and being hit by the toys prefer that you just counsel her and give her an opportunity to change this TODAY? If she wasn't able to make it happen immediately would the other parents prefer that you allow her to continue visiting in the room because they would understand that parents SHOULD be able to visit as often and as much as they like? Would they be willing to have their children be treated in such a way to insure the other parent gets what THEY deserve (full access as much and as often as they like).

Last question: Could you interview this parental behavior out BEFORE you signed on the clients? Could you pick and choose the parents who would be able to behave in your public setting and inforce the policies and excellent behavior in their children before they enrolled and keep your business full?

Little People
01-13-2011, 04:58 AM
Good description

Can you tell me if you feel that just asking her to discipline her children....Make them remain calm and polite..... Make them follow the rules you have in your child care... would stop the behavior? You already have it in your polices and she isn't abiding. Are there WORDS you can say to the Mom that will get her to manage this appropriately TODAY and in the future to get it to completely stop? Is there any counselling you can do with the parent to have her stop it immediately?

Would the other parents of the children who are being ran over and being hit by the toys prefer that you just counsel her and give her an opportunity to change this TODAY? If she wasn't able to make it happen immediately would the other parents prefer that you allow her to continue visiting in the room because they would understand that parents SHOULD be able to visit as often and as much as they like? Would they be willing to have their children be treated in such a way to insure the other parent gets what THEY deserve (full access as much and as often as they like).

Last question: Could you interview this parental behavior out BEFORE you signed on the clients? Could you pick and choose the parents who would be able to behave in your public setting and inforce the policies and excellent behavior in their children before they enrolled and keep your business full?

nannyde, Thank you for such great advice!! When I interviewed this parent and the children, they were good children and I ALWAYS read and cover ALL my handbook with the parent. This Mom is a GOOD mom, she picks up on time, she pays on time. Gave me a wonderful gift card for JC Penny's for Christmas. If she is off work she will keep her children at home with her. Here is what I see that is happening the last several days. Kid's are going to Dad's, Grandma's and I believe they are hearing and being put in a tug of war. Mom has always loved watching the girls for a bit in the mornings and evenings, getting longer each morning and evening. She was my first daycare mom. Now in the evenings when mom is picking up the girls are going wild. When I say something to them, she will respond to them, but they ignore her and make a LOUD fuss or throw themselves down on the floor. It is like they are walking all over her and she is letting this happen.

So here is what I have done allready. I just sent a text to mom and this is what I said "_____ Can you please be here by 8:20 and when you get here I will quickly get the children involved in table top with puzzles, and will you quickly go to the kitchen". The little one 18 mts will scream if she see's her leave. We always sit her at the table and mom will kiss both the girls and quitely leave the daycare room. She texed back and said "Yes, is something wrong?". I texed back and said "No, I just want to talk to you on a couple of things". She texed back and said "see you in a little bit."

These girls are EXCELLENT with me. I can said "Please" don't do that and they will stop, they are great eaters, they will nap 2 hours. The 18 month old will set through pre-school learning times, she sits at the little table to eat. They both say Please & Thank You.

As far as my daycare, I DON'T have to work. I don't need to make an income ( Thank You Dave Ramsey!) I LOVE CHILDREN, I love the rewards I get FROM them. I love seeing through a child's eyes, when they learn something new, when they play and I sit and listen to them, when they learn a new song, when there eyes light up, I could go on and on about the joys of watching children. These children give ME something to do:D. But it is so fustrating when you see a different side of a child whan a parent walks in and that parent allows this to happen.
Again THANK YOU for your wonderful advice and your kind words, I will let you know what happens this morning.

Little People
01-13-2011, 06:04 AM
Ok, Mom came in and quickly went to the kitcken. I had all children sit at the tables and I put 4 containers of lego's out. Told them to see who could build me the biggest castle. I walked into the kitcken. Mom said "_____(18mth old) is sitting at the table? I said yelp!! Then I ask her to just listen to the children for a moment. She said that her children would not sit at a table like that at home and play. I told her that her children are EXCELLENT her. I told her my reason to speak with her was about the children's behavior at pick up. I told her that I know she loves watching them here, but the children are playing her and me...breaking rules. She said she knew they act out when she is there and are doing this at home. I told her that we need to keep drop off & pick up times to UNDER 5 minutes. I told her that I would have the children's coat & shoes on at 3:20 and for her to walk in the door and i will bring the children to her and for het to quickly leave. I told her that she can come into the daycare rooms in the morning for no more that 5 minutes. She agreed that the children DO ACT out when she picks up and she was sorry. I explained to her that I know things for the children will probably get worse with her diviorce but if she acts on them as soon as they happen the children will learn they can not get by with things. She was here 20 minutes (my kitchen is 20 steps from the daycare rooms) and she said NONE of the children have moved from the table? I said Nope, they all are wonderful kids.

She then said "I am so lucky to have you as a provider", I said "I am lucky to have your children to care for each day". She hugged me and left quietly.

nannyde.... THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!!!

marniewon
01-13-2011, 06:34 AM
Ok, Mom came in and quickly went to the kitcken. I had all children sit at the tables and I put 4 containers of lego's out. Told them to see who could build me the biggest castle. I walked into the kitcken. Mom said "_____(18mth old) is sitting at the table? I said yelp!! Then I ask her to just listen to the children for a moment. She said that her children would not sit at a table like that at home and play. I told her that her children are EXCELLENT her. I told her my reason to speak with her was about the children's behavior at pick up. I told her that I know she loves watching them here, but the children are playing her and me...breaking rules. She said she knew they act out when she is there and are doing this at home. I told her that we need to keep drop off & pick up times to UNDER 5 minutes. I told her that I would have the children's coat & shoes on at 3:20 and for her to walk in the door and i will bring the children to her and for het to quickly leave. I told her that she can come into the daycare rooms in the morning for no more that 5 minutes. She agreed that the children DO ACT out when she picks up and she was sorry. I explained to her that I know things for the children will probably get worse with her diviorce but if she acts on them as soon as they happen the children will learn they can not get by with things. She was here 20 minutes (my kitchen is 20 steps from the daycare rooms) and she said NONE of the children have moved from the table? I said Nope, they all are wonderful kids.

She then said "I am so lucky to have you as a provider", I said "I am lucky to have your children to care for each day". She hugged me and left quietly.

nannyde.... THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!!!

What an awesome outcome! I'm glad your dcm was so understanding and willing to work with you on this issue.

missnikki
01-13-2011, 06:37 AM
Now THAT's the way parents should be- willing to accept a problem pointed out to them professionally, and work together as a team for the benefit of the child. That's just awesome! Is today heavenly parent day? We shall see.

nannyde
01-13-2011, 06:45 AM
nannyde.... THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!!!

:D

Now you have just done phase one. Today the Mom still got twenty minutes of attention from you and an opportunity to "see" her kids at play even though she wasn't in the room with them. She still got to "do" her kids and "do" time with you.

Time will tell if she can go from what she has gotten recently to her just doing a quick drop off and pick up. The "five minutes" she has in the morning could get tossed out the window if the kids start using words with her to prolong her undressing them and getting them into the play room. She may want to do a "quckie" of taking them in and they will figure out how to engage her. Five minutes will turn to seven which will turn to ten which will turn to twenty. This could happen on both arrival and departure but more likely at arrival if you already have them ready to leave.

She may accept it for a while but when the kids catch on they could do stuff like undressing themselves... barreling away from her... and getting back into the action by just breaking free.

Stay firm with them all...especially the parent. If she needs to discuss anything with you have her text or call during nap so that it isn't done at the time when you are both together with the kids.

Little People
01-13-2011, 06:48 AM
:D

Now you have just done phase one. Today the Mom still got twenty minutes of attention from you and an opportunity to "see" her kids at play even though she wasn't in the room with them. She still got to "do" her kids and "do" time with you.

Time will tell if she can go from what she has gotten recently to her just doing a quick drop off and pick up. The "five minutes" she has in the morning could get tossed out the window if the kids start using words with her to prolong her undressing them and getting them into the play room. She may want to do a "quckie" of taking them in and they will figure out how to engage her. Five minutes will turn to seven which will turn to ten which will turn to twenty. This could happen on both arrival and departure but more likely at arrival if you already have them ready to leave.

She may accept it for a while but when the kids catch on they could do stuff like undressing themselves... barreling away from her... and getting back into the action by just breaking free.

Stay firm with them all...especially the parent. If she needs to discuss anything with you have her text or call during nap so that it isn't done at the time when you are both together with the kids.

Thank you, I have printed out your reply and will keep it in a very safe place:D

missnikki
01-13-2011, 06:48 AM
nannyde, perfect advice. I would point my thumb at you and say "What she said."