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SuperNinjaMommy
03-30-2011, 06:40 AM
I don't have a "if your off don't bring your children" rule because I just assumed parents would keep their kids home and want to spend time with them. Pssssssssh I know better now!

Today my "problem family" brings their two children when both are off. Whatever, i'm getting paid. The youngest starts puking almost immediately. So i ask if he was feeling bad before he came (i could tell immediately he wasn't feeling up to par) she says well he was a little fussy. She comes to pick him up but leaves the older child. Hello, both of you are off! Spend time with them! Then the oldest will be here later. I'm having huge issues with them showing aggression. In fact, after the mom picked up the baby the dcb (2) hit one of the babies (7 months) with a toy. I'm on the verge of quitting this family. I've complained about the oldest several times. My issue is that I have one of those "i can fix it" personalities.

Checkinkids.com
03-30-2011, 07:03 AM
Exactly - spend time with your kids! People do this all the time at my wife's daycare. It's always the kids that don't get enough parent time that are harder to watch also.

DCMom
03-30-2011, 07:33 AM
It's always the kids that don't get enough parent time that are harder to watch also.


That is so true~and my biggest pet peeve/annoyance with being a daycare provider.

Let me start by saying I don't really have a problem with the occasional day to do something that is more difficult with a small child around, say painting a room or something. It's the parents who seem to go out of their way to NOT spend one on one time with their kids that really make me wonder why.

This week, I have two boys that my dd calls 'The Menace Brothers' and must say they are aptly named. They are just harder to work with. This week mom is on 'Staycation'. All week. I found this out on facebook; several postings about how much she needed her 'me time' without kids, dropping them at daycare and goint to Starbucks, how much she is annoyed with her job for making her use or lose her vacation time and her friends all applauding and agreeing. She has not mentioned it to me herself that she is on vacation and home all week. What annoys me about this whole thing, is when I was on vacation earlier this winter, all I heard for a week before and a week after were 'joking', off handed little jibes about how difficult the week I was off had been juggling working and alternate care to cover my time off. WTH? If you had time, why didn't you use it?

Another family I interviewed with declined to take my spot because I have paid vacation time and paid holidays and they prefer to use their vacation time/paid holidays for themselves (ie 'me time') and bring the kids to daycare when they are off. Said it straight out and were completely serious.

I don't get it. WHY do they have kids if they don't even LIKE them? :confused:

Unregistered
03-30-2011, 07:45 AM
I quit my corporate job to stay home with my kids. I was upset about how we were always rushing through everything (rush out of work to pick up the kids, rush home, rush through dinner, rush through story and rush them off to bed). Weekends were spent doing errands and housework and not playing. I did not want my kids to look back on their childhood and think that I never had the time for them.

I had a family that I provided care for and the Mom worked shift work. There were plenty of days that she was home and still sent her little one to care. I get that she needed to spend some of her time catching up on sleep if she was on nights, but there were times that I know she was just at home doing laundry and watching Oprah (she told me). What upset me was when they would send their 1yr old to care all week and then take her to the Grandparents an hour and a half away all weekend. When the heck did they see their daughter? What is she going to think when she looks back on her childhood?

SuperNinjaMommy
03-30-2011, 07:55 AM
I don't get it. WHY do they have kids if they don't even LIKE them? :confused:

EXACTLY! I have three kids of my own and they go EVERYWHERE with me! When I did work outside of the home I would take days off because I didn't see them enough. I'll have my "me time" when they are successfully grown up.

lil angels
03-30-2011, 08:53 AM
Yep that is my biggest peave to. I HATE seeing daycare parents driving home early in the day and then they don't show until close. And I have them 50 plus hrs a week really. I always keep remembering that they pay me so I can't say anything but REALLY. I put it in my contract this year if one child is sick if at all possible please keep your other at home. It has worked ok more dp keep there siblings home now not all but most.

SandeeAR
03-30-2011, 09:03 AM
I'll have my "me time" when they are successfully grown up.

That me time when they are all grown up, isnt' what it is cracked up to be. I would go back to having my kids at home again anyday! They are 27 and 29 and been out of the house for years. I still miss those days. BTW, I was a SAHM.;)

Cat Herder
03-30-2011, 09:07 AM
EXACTLY! I have three kids of my own and they go EVERYWHERE with me! When I did work outside of the home I would take days off because I didn't see them enough. I'll have my "me time" when they are successfully grown up.

I can tell I am going to like you......:ouch: Welcome!!

Meyou
03-30-2011, 09:10 AM
I take my kids and usually several others with me where ever I go. I have one dcg that stays late and one of my kids always has a friend or two over. I feel like I've lost someone if I go anywhere alone :lol:

SuperNinjaMommy
03-30-2011, 09:15 AM
I feel like I've lost someone if I go anywhere alone :lol:

Agreed. I've done this so many times. My brain is in constant count mode. (1,2,3.... ok everyone's here)

jewels30
03-30-2011, 09:26 AM
I too have the same gripe. I have had an inhome daycare for three years. I started it when I had my baby. I figured that most parents keep their kids home when they are off, But I too realized very quickly that is so far from the truth. The truth is that I have all 7 of my children very close to 50 hours a week. If I would be open longer I am sure I would have all my kids longer. It is very annoying to me, especially when the parents make a big fuss about all their "me" time that they get. I try to look at is as their loss. I am with my child every day, and their kids too. I basically raise their kids for them, for a very inexpensive price. But I never have to worry about my own child. She is with me every day, gets to run around in her pjs all morning, sleep in, play with her toys. That is what I hold on too. I havent missed any of my childs firsts.......My DC parents can't ever say the same about their kids:(

Unregistered
03-30-2011, 09:40 AM
I read this a lot, about spend time with your kids etc and wanted to offer a perspective that maybe hasn't been thought about.

I have 2 kids--3 years and 9 months in a home daycare. I have only sent my kids 2 times when I wasn't working since the 3 year old started daycare at 12 weeks old, so it isn't common but I am planning to do it next week.

I love our daycare providor and trust her implicitly. I don't feel that way about any of the neighbor kids. I have a hard time handling my 2 little ones sometimes so I don't trust that the boy crazy 16 year old next door can. So, my DH has next Friday off (which is rare since we use all our vaca days for sick kids or daycare days off or our own sicknesses) and I am taking it off and we are having a date. We haven't been on a date since I was pregnant with my 9 month old so I am very excited and know that I won't be worried the whole time because I know that they are being very well taken care of.

Anyways, I agree that some of these stories of parents are crazy how they never let their kids stay home but wanted to throw out there just another perspective.

Jenny

boysx5
03-30-2011, 11:39 AM
I think alot of people now have kids to keep up with the JONE'S it looks good but do they want them no

Jewels
03-30-2011, 11:46 AM
I do not think it makes a bad parent to drop your kids at daycare if you are not working, sometimes maybe it is the case, of just not caring enough about your child, I do have one parent who right after picking her daughter up, goes and drops her at grandmas alot of nights, so she can go play bingo or go to the bar, but all of my other parents love their children deeply, I DO NOT raise their kids for them, even if they drop them off while they are at home, I worked for 2 yrs after having my son, and I hated I picked him up right away after work, was never late, always wanted to be with him, I wanted him with me more than daycare, my husband had fridays off and I always made him keep my son home with him, but you know what my husband could have gotten a lot more home stuff done had he taken our son to daycare, he could have mowed the lawn then, instead of wasting the 3 hrs of our weekend, re-finished the deck then, instead of every free minute after work and on the weekends forever, If my husband and I both had the day off and we were working parents, holy cow I would totally take my kids to daycare, and have a day doing whatever whenever with my husband in our house ;)! Heck half the times I'm just jealous I can't do that every once in a while, I don't think this makes them bad parents, (some maybe) but not most, And I know on the weekends, I prefer to do all my running around child free, If I don't have to theres no way I'm taking my kids grocery shopping with me, I would so much rather concentrate on what I'm doing by myself, I love my kids and am so blessed to be with them during the day and be home, But I Cherish my moments without them also, this weekend I am going out of town no husband no kids, just me and my mom on a girls weekend, and I can't wait. I will miss them alot, but I wont mind some relaxing! My daycare love their kids, and are all great parents, but they have the option of having fun days every once in a while, and I think thats good.

MsMe
03-30-2011, 11:54 AM
I read this a lot, about spend time with your kids etc and wanted to offer a perspective that maybe hasn't been thought about.

I have 2 kids--3 years and 9 months in a home daycare. I have only sent my kids 2 times when I wasn't working since the 3 year old started daycare at 12 weeks old, so it isn't common but I am planning to do it next week.

I love our daycare providor and trust her implicitly. I don't feel that way about any of the neighbor kids. I have a hard time handling my 2 little ones sometimes so I don't trust that the boy crazy 16 year old next door can. So, my DH has next Friday off (which is rare since we use all our vaca days for sick kids or daycare days off or our own sicknesses) and I am taking it off and we are having a date. We haven't been on a date since I was pregnant with my 9 month old so I am very excited and know that I won't be worried the whole time because I know that they are being very well taken care of.

Anyways, I agree that some of these stories of parents are crazy how they never let their kids stay home but wanted to throw out there just another perspective.

Jenny

Jenny I have been a home provider for 6 years and I am positive NONE of us are talking about a parent like you. I fully understand that every parent needs a break and if I was your provider I would be so excited for you to have your date on Friday!! The parents we are talking about have several days off and NEVER spend any part of it with their children. They go out of their way to send their child to daycare everyday no matter what. I would have never believed some of the stories I have about parents who never spend time with their kids if I had not seen it with my own eyes.

Enjoy your date :)

MyAngels
03-30-2011, 01:18 PM
I've never bought into the reasoning of taking your kids to daycare to get things done - errands, work around the house, etc. I always enjoyed doing even those mundane things with the kids in tow or at home. How else do they learn about all of those things? I have three kids and we always had a lot of fun grocery shopping and the like. Heck, even now when the kids are home on break they'll go to the grocery with me, and we still have fun.

Both of my boys are very handy, capable men because they were around my dh and I working on every conceivable household project. My daughter won't hesitate to tackle any kind of project, either. Even when they were too small to participate, they were there. It must have rubbed off on them :).

When my kids talk today about a lot of their friends, and their inability to cope with even small problems without running home to mommy and daddy I realize that I did my kids a tremendous service by teaching them about the "real" in "real life."

Okay, I guess I can put my soapbox away now!:lol:

SuperNinjaMommy
03-30-2011, 01:28 PM
Yah I'm absolutely not digging on the parents who do this once in a blue moon. More power to you for those 1 or 2 days out of the year when you get a break. We all need a break from here to there. I'm talking about the parents who do it constantly. As in, I've provided for this family for 8 months and they have done it at least once a month, sometimes more in that month.

Jewels
03-30-2011, 03:05 PM
I've never bought into the reasoning of taking your kids to daycare to get things done - errands, work around the house, etc. I always enjoyed doing even those mundane things with the kids in tow or at home. How else do they learn about all of those things? I have three kids and we always had a lot of fun grocery shopping and the like. Heck, even now when the kids are home on break they'll go to the grocery with me, and we still have fun.

Both of my boys are very handy, capable men because they were around my dh and I working on every conceivable household project. My daughter won't hesitate to tackle any kind of project, either. Even when they were too small to participate, they were there. It must have rubbed off on them :).

When my kids talk today about a lot of their friends, and their inability to cope with even small problems without running home to mommy and daddy I realize that I did my kids a tremendous service by teaching them about the "real" in "real life."

Okay, I guess I can put my soapbox away now!:lol:

Wow well you are just a super hero of mothers, I bow down to you! I laugh at the thought of my husband who can't multitask to save his life trying to refinish a deck, and watch an 18 month toddler by himself, That 18 month old would totally be into the power washing and sanding and deck staining, that sounds like fun.........I find it amazing that you would never want to clean your house without anyone around, Like I said Super hero! There are some projects little little kids don't need to be around, I don't agree with mozing the yard, with a tiny tot either, sure maybe when they are older, but I'm speaking of tots here, And I'm pretty sure a tiny tot, isn't going to struggle with learning "Real life" situations, by not being around when a chainsaw is going off to cut down a tree.

katie
03-30-2011, 03:24 PM
This is what last week looked like for me. Dkg was dropped off at 6:30 am by dad. Mom calls at 6pm that she is on her way. She showed up at 8:30 pm :eek: Yep, you see that right. I was soooooo mad. "Did you get my message?" Yes! Three hours ago!!!!!!!! Obviously I said this cannot happen. Tuesday, dropped off at 7am. Dad picks up at 4. Wed 6:30am. Mom shows up at 6. Thursday, same. Friday, same. I calculate she spent 2 waking hours with her child all week. Spent the weekend with girlfriends out of town. Mom is off every Monday. She brings her to dc every time anyway. Half the time the dad's girlfriend picks up. But this Friday, the WEEKEND babysitter picked her up from my house! Yes! A babysitter picking up from a babysitter. She was going to look at new cars and didn't want to take the child! ONE child! I take 4 everywhere I go! This child never knows which parent or girlfriend or babysitter is going to get her, when, or where she is going to sleep that night. So so sad.

MyAngels
03-30-2011, 03:49 PM
Wow well you are just a super hero of mothers, I bow down to you! I laugh at the thought of my husband who can't multitask to save his life trying to refinish a deck, and watch an 18 month toddler by himself, That 18 month old would totally be into the power washing and sanding and deck staining, that sounds like fun.........I find it amazing that you would never want to clean your house without anyone around, Like I said Super hero! There are some projects little little kids don't need to be around, I don't agree with mozing the yard, with a tiny tot either, sure maybe when they are older, but I'm speaking of tots here, And I'm pretty sure a tiny tot, isn't going to struggle with learning "Real life" situations, by not being around when a chainsaw is going off to cut down a tree.

I guess we will just have to agree to disagree, no bigee :). And thanks, no one has ever called me a super hero mother before, even if they were being sarcastic. Peace to you and yours.

QualiTcare
03-30-2011, 10:44 PM
this is basically the same as the never-ending working mom vs. stay at home mom debate. stay at home moms can't understand how/why women would want to work and miss out on time with their kids. working moms can't understand how/why someone needs to stay home all day (especially when the kids are in school) to get household chores done that they manage to do on top of working. i personally love it when someone labels themself a "stay at home mother" when their kids are practically grown. it's more like "unemployed." it would be nice if people would just own up to the fact that they enjoy having a career (or NOT) and they can all love their kids equally without the "i'm a better mom than you" mentality.

SuperNinjaMommy
03-31-2011, 03:14 AM
this is basically the same as the never-ending working mom vs. stay at home mom debate. stay at home moms can't understand how/why women would want to work and miss out on time with their kids. working moms can't understand how/why someone needs to stay home all day (especially when the kids are in school) to get household chores done that they manage to do on top of working. i personally love it when someone labels themself a "stay at home mother" when their kids are practically grown. it's more like "unemployed." it would be nice if people would just own up to the fact that they enjoy having a career (or NOT) and they can all love their kids equally without the "i'm a better mom than you" mentality.

I have to respectively disagree. This debate was not what my post was about. I think that the lack of face time with parents is something that our society is facing right now. It does not mean I think I'm a better mom or that they love their children less, it's just wondering why someone has 3 children and doesn't want to spend time with them. I know they love them. This is more along the lines of why do you need to take them to daycare while putting up a christmas tree when that can be a family memory? Why when one child is sick would you risk taking that child back out again to pick up the siblings when you could have just got them then? Having children has become a status symbol for some couples rather than a decision. Again this isn't talking about every working mother, or every family that takes their kids to daycare on their days off but rather the ones who do it consistently (and I think most of us know the families i'm talking about)

Unregistered
03-31-2011, 05:12 PM
Wow well you are just a super hero of mothers, I bow down to you! I laugh at the thought of my husband who can't multitask to save his life trying to refinish a deck, and watch an 18 month toddler by himself, That 18 month old would totally be into the power washing and sanding and deck staining, that sounds like fun.........I find it amazing that you would never want to clean your house without anyone around, Like I said Super hero! There are some projects little little kids don't need to be around, I don't agree with mozing the yard, with a tiny tot either, sure maybe when they are older, but I'm speaking of tots here, And I'm pretty sure a tiny tot, isn't going to struggle with learning "Real life" situations, by not being around when a chainsaw is going off to cut down a tree.

Completly and totally uncalled for. Sucks to be you and your husband if you don't know how to function as a family. There are tasks that you do with kids in tow and there are tasks that you do when you are able to have the other person there to hand off to. There are also tasks that you do during nap time. If you think pp is a superhero then maybe you should aspire to be more like her rather than trying to tear her down for her successes.

MsMe
04-04-2011, 06:06 AM
This weekend my family and I were at the daycare house building a new swingset. A daycare Mom and her two kids walked over to say Hello. While we were talking about what a nice day it was and all the things we needed to get done she said "oh, I know I really should pick up around my house, but what whould I do with these two?" (her husband was gone for the day)

Well I think you would do what everyone else in the world with kids would do and and do it with them in the house!!

She then turned to her sister and said "could you watch the kids this afternoon while I vacuum?"

OMG lady