PDA

View Full Version : Tired Of The Disrespect Of My Home


mac60
05-02-2011, 05:17 AM
One of the things I hate most about this job is the disrespect for my home, not only from the kids, but also the parents. I don't really have a foyer, so I try to create an entryway by sectioning off an area using my couch and placing a large 5 x 7 area rug in front of the entry door. This leaves a large enough area to stand, remove shoes, hang coats, etc. No reason for parents to step off of the area rug with their shoes. So yesterday, I had to move my couch, as for the past 2 weeks I have had a parent come in at pickup/drop off and sit on the arm of my couch. Now, while some may not think this is a big deal, it is to me. It is quite disrespectful in my book. The arm of the couch is not made to be sat on, and I have also requested thru notes on the door, send home notes, to please keep your shoes on the area rug.

Then there is the issue of my front door/storm door/windows. Why oh just why do parents think it is ok for a young child to play in the window blinds, place hands-face-slobber and snot on my door/screen door and windows. I don't get it. What has happened to disciplining a child, telling them no, to teach them respect for other's homes. So very frustrating to me. My door knob is very loose right now, and I am sure it has something to do with 2 kids constantly trying to get out the front door and hanging on it, and I mean literally hanging on it. Just why can't these parents say No, don't do that. GRR.

I am not sure what has happened to parenting over the years, but it certainly has gone to the hills, as parents certainly don't know how to control their offspring anymore.

Kaddidle Care
05-02-2011, 05:41 AM
What has happened to disciplining a child, telling them no, to teach them respect for other's homes.

I am not sure what has happened to parenting over the years, but it certainly has gone to the hills, as parents certainly don't know how to control their offspring anymore.

Just grabbed 2 sentences from your post.

If the parent's don't respect you or your home, there's no way they will teach their child to respect them. It's your house, your rules, you teach them.

The children will learn to respect you and yours if you instill it. They quickly learn that there are different rules in different places. Remember learning that Grandma's figurines weren't toys to be played with? It's the same thing.

Old fashioned parenting is rare these days because it's the norm to push a baby out and hand it over to someone else to raise. I think that's why so many of us have that sort of conflict with the DC parents. We take care of other's children in our homes because we don't believe in Daycare for our own. I work in a center and it's rather ironic that most of the caregivers there were stay at home Moms. :lol:

mickey2
05-02-2011, 05:55 AM
Just grabbed 2 sentences from your post.

If the parent's don't respect you or your home, there's no way they will teach their child to respect them. It's your house, your rules, you teach them.

The children will learn to respect you and yours if you instill it. They quickly learn that there are different rules in different places. Remember learning that Grandma's figurines weren't toys to be played with? It's the same thing.

Old fashioned parenting is rare these days because it's the norm to push a baby out and hand it over to someone else to raise. I think that's why so many of us have that sort of conflict with the DC parents. We take care of other's children in our homes because we don't believe in Daycare for our own. I work in a center and it's rather ironic that most of the caregivers there were stay at home Moms. :lol:

YES! This exactly! One more thing to add. I train my parents right from the beginning. I have control of both the parent and their child until they are out the door, and they are out fast. This is my home and I have rules while the kids are here. Same rules apply when the parent is here to pick up/drop off and the parents follow them or I say something!

melskids
05-02-2011, 06:10 AM
i know its hard to confront a parent, but i would just say something right away, every time. you may need a more direct approach.

the MINUTE a DC parent steps one foot off of the rug, i would stop them right there, put my hand up, and say "please wait on the carpet or take off your shoes. thank you."

same goes for the kids behavior. i would stop them dead in their tracks. i dont care if their parents are here or not.

i had one who liked to pull on my icicle lights at christmas that were outside hanging from the roof. mom actually picked the child up to touch them, like WTH? is that really necessary?! so i told her point blank not to do it anymore. of course she looked at me like i stole her kids lollipop or something:rolleyes:

emosks
05-02-2011, 06:22 AM
I'm in the same boat but it's more for outside things like parking in my driveway. I've asked every month in our newsletter and even sent home notes with the kids for the parents to park in the road not only for safety reasons (my kids are outside playing in the mornings before school) but common courtesy of people living in my house. Sometimes I have appointments in the morning and/or my husband gets blocked in when he's trying to leave for work.

Just this morning one of the dads came flying up my driveway with no regard to anything or anyone. I even had 2 other cars out in the road so there could have been small children in the driveway.

AfterSchoolMom
05-02-2011, 06:35 AM
I definitely hear you on the parent thing!

Why don't you just ask DCM not to sit on the arm of your couch? If that were happening to me, I'd just say "hey could you please not sit there?". If she's any kind of halfway decent person she'll aplogize and not do it again.

mac60
05-02-2011, 06:59 AM
Why is it that I feel like I would feel like a heel to tell a parent to not sit on the arm of the couch, to tell their child as they stand there to not smear up my windows or play in my blinds. I am a wimp I know when it comes to these things. I guess I think these are all common sense things that another adult should not have to say to another adult. Really, are people this stupid, or are they just lazy, or are they just so caught up in themselves they don't honestly realize what they are doing, or not doing? I know you ladies are right that I need to just speak up.....But honestly, we are all adults. Respect is all I ask, apparently too much to ask though.

morgan24
05-02-2011, 07:37 AM
Really, are people this stupid, or are they just lazy, or are they just so caught up in themselves they don't honestly realize what they are doing, or not doing?

I would say all of the above. Teach them some respect. If you not comfortable saying something to them, start making it uncomfortable for them to come into you home very far. I have a foyer separated from the living area by a couple of chairs. Until dcps learn that they need to stay on the rug, stand right at the end of it when they arrive so they can't go off it. One time I had a dcp who just didn't get it. She would step off the rug, after telling her several times I said oh please stay on the rug and I would grab my little broom and dustpan and sweep where she stepped on the floor, the whole time I would be saying something about the baby crawls there and I didn't want her to get her hands dirty. She felt dumb and never stepped off the rug again.

I also have control of the dcks until they walk out the door. If I have to hold their hand I do it. If they touch or do anything they are not suppose to, I hand them over to their parents and say if you don't want to go by the rules it's time for you to go now. If I'm having a problem with a dck touching anything about 5 minutes before dcps arrive I will start saying something like when you mom gets her you need to get you shoes on and stand by her. As soon as dcp hits the door I will say to dck okay it's time for you to get your shoes on and get ready to go. Gives both of them the hint they need to get going.

Meeko
05-02-2011, 08:21 AM
I sooo feel the same way!

I get so tired of parents who are harder to keep in line than their kids!!!

What happened to good old fashioned manners? It was drilled into me by my mother that I had better respect other people's homes. I would not DREAM of sitting on the arm of someone's couch! It's sad that this even has to be an issue. It should be a no brainer!

MV
05-02-2011, 08:35 AM
I get what your saying and I'm with you sister!! On the other hand the phrase "you teach people how to treat you" comes to mind and I am deffinetely guilty of it. My parents always taught me "do unto others" and so I am a people pleaser. Most of the time I am good at standing up for myself but sometimes I let people slide because of one reason or another. In the case of DC, well sometimes we don't want to lose the income.

I was speaking with my resource and refferal specialist and talking about this very same subject and she said pretty much the same thing. Give them a warning and if it continues, send them on their merry way. I argued about the money issue and she said that in our county the ratio for people needing childcare 3 infants to every 1 provider. My response was "Yeah but they're all looking because we're (providers) all only allowed 3 infants so were all at capacity. Those slots are easy to fill but what about the other 3 slots?" to which she shrugged and nodded her head and gave me an "I hear ya". I don't know if the same for you ladies but I have NO trouble filling my infant slots, it's the 2+ slots that take longer so if I have a 2+ client I am more likely to take their silliness. If it were an infant and their families ... well I know that I'd have an easier time finding a replacement for them so can you say "Buh-bye"

cheerfuldom
05-02-2011, 08:50 AM
part of the problem is that they see your entire home as a daycare (not just the particular places designated). It doesn't occur to some people that the play room IS daycare but the foyer is not. They are just used to seeing your entire home as a place that they are paying to use. Same mentality when people leave a mess for the waitress to clean up and that type of thing.

laundrymom
05-02-2011, 09:00 AM
I would just say,... Hey Cindy, could you not sit on the arm of my couch? It really isn't something I want the kids learning. Then if she does it again say, Cindy I asked you not to sit there, the children are seeing you and thinking it's ok. This is my home and we do not sit like that. Please stop. If it happens again, cindy, you have two choices you need to sit in time out or pay the disrespectful adult fee for breaking day care rules. One minute or dollar per age year

Ok totally kidding about the last option I'd probably say Cindy I've asked you many times not to sit on the furniture that way and you aren't stopping, why? It's not allowed here. By anyone. Why do you keep doing it?

MommyMuffin
05-02-2011, 12:32 PM
Why is it that I feel like I would feel like a heel to tell a parent to not sit on the arm of the couch, to tell their child as they stand there to not smear up my windows or play in my blinds. I am a wimp I know when it comes to these things. I guess I think these are all common sense things that another adult should not have to say to another adult. Really, are people this stupid, or are they just lazy, or are they just so caught up in themselves they don't honestly realize what they are doing, or not doing? I know you ladies are right that I need to just speak up.....But honestly, we are all adults. Respect is all I ask, apparently too much to ask though.

I dont understand why parents hang out like they do. Maybe you could try some sugar.
DCP sits on seat of couch.
You say, "Why dont I get you a chair to sit on," make a big deal about getting the chair. "Excuse me (child's name) I need to get a chair for (DCP) then I can help you with your puzzle."
After you present the chair, find a child or something else that needs to be taken care of in another room, or go to the bathroom :D. Perhaps she/he will feel uncomfortable sitting there alone.

With the snot and blinds I would say something in front of the parent, such as, "Child's name, please do not play with the blinds I dont want them to break." If child keeps playing and parent does nothing then say, "Do you have blinds at home? Is he allowed to play with them?" Say it all with a smile.

I am the most stubborn, hate to fake a smile type of gal but I have found that I can get most everything I want, my way, if I put some sugar on it.

WDW
05-02-2011, 02:29 PM
One of the things I hate most about this job is the disrespect for my home, not only from the kids, but also the parents. I don't really have a foyer, so I try to create an entryway by sectioning off an area using my couch and placing a large 5 x 7 area rug in front of the entry door. This leaves a large enough area to stand, remove shoes, hang coats, etc. No reason for parents to step off of the area rug with their shoes. So yesterday, I had to move my couch, as for the past 2 weeks I have had a parent come in at pickup/drop off and sit on the arm of my couch. Now, while some may not think this is a big deal, it is to me. It is quite disrespectful in my book. The arm of the couch is not made to be sat on, and I have also requested thru notes on the door, send home notes, to please keep your shoes on the area rug.

Then there is the issue of my front door/storm door/windows. Why oh just why do parents think it is ok for a young child to play in the window blinds, place hands-face-slobber and snot on my door/screen door and windows. I don't get it. What has happened to disciplining a child, telling them no, to teach them respect for other's homes. So very frustrating to me. My door knob is very loose right now, and I am sure it has something to do with 2 kids constantly trying to get out the front door and hanging on it, and I mean literally hanging on it. Just why can't these parents say No, don't do that. GRR.

I am not sure what has happened to parenting over the years, but it certainly has gone to the hills, as parents certainly don't know how to control their offspring anymore.


Oh, I KNOW! We just put up a new storm door and I have kids hanging on it, pulling on, even one mom hanging her 15 month old out over so baby can pull on it. I finally started saying something. It takes a LOT of cajones for me to say anything to a kid in front of the parent, but I've had enough. They are going to break my new door. And the worst part is, most of the kids would NEVER touch it, UNTIL their parent gets here. Then it's like they can't stop.

jen2651
05-02-2011, 05:21 PM
My inlaws park on my grass. They know I love my grass. I fertilize it, I love it, I put bug stuff on it (all non toxic of course so it costs me a gosh darn fortune). and the drive their big honken truck on it all the time! GET OUT AND WALK!

sorry...it is still a disrespect thing. I'm going to steal orange cones from somewhere and line my driveway...classy i know!

daycare
05-02-2011, 05:36 PM
lmao The orange cone thin is funny... When I was in college my friends and I did that to our friends house. except we coverd the entire drive way so she could not park in it....
we actually got into trouble with the city and they made us return all the cones.....lol it was super funny but embarassing at the same time..

And what is with parking on the lawn......i would be so mad if someone did that

SandeeAR
05-02-2011, 05:56 PM
My inlaws park on my grass. They know I love my grass. I fertilize it, I love it, I put bug stuff on it (all non toxic of course so it costs me a gosh darn fortune). and the drive their big honken truck on it all the time! GET OUT AND WALK!

sorry...it is still a disrespect thing. I'm going to steal orange cones from somewhere and line my driveway...classy i know!

The house we are in was currently rented by all college kids. They parked and drove thru the yard. We are trying to grow grass now.

As the driveway is short and we live on a major street, there is no parking on the street. We made a parking spot at an "L" angle from the driveway. We used landscaping timbers and filled it with the pine needle from the backyard.

We also planted money grass along the street edge of the yard to discourage folks from driving into the yard.

jen2651
05-02-2011, 06:31 PM
Yeah, but I live in the country. We actually have a driveway...it is probably about 1/4 of a mile long total. The house is halfway up it, then continues to the garage which is off to the side(where 3 cars can park infront of - not on the driveway), then continues out to my husbands shed (which could park 4 cars in front of it - not on the driveway). There is MORE THAN enough room. Even when we have holiday gatherings here, the driveway can easily hold 13 cars 'out of the way' so people can get by.

At our old house I put a row of bricks across a section where they would always drive in. They finally got the picture after I told them I was going to put spike strips on the bricks.

I'm not sure why they don't get it...they know I am SUPER ANAL about my grass. I take MAJOR pride in our lawn...like digging out danilioins (sp?) and thistles!

PitterPatter
05-02-2011, 06:40 PM
I dont understand why parents hang out like they do. Maybe you could try some sugar.
DCP sits on seat of couch.
You say, "Why dont I get you a chair to sit on," make a big deal about getting the chair. "Excuse me (child's name) I need to get a chair for (DCP) then I can help you with your puzzle."
After you present the chair, find a child or something else that needs to be taken care of in another room, or go to the bathroom :D. Perhaps she/he will feel uncomfortable sitting there alone.

With the snot and blinds I would say something in front of the parent, such as, "Child's name, please do not play with the blinds I dont want them to break." If child keeps playing and parent does nothing then say, "Do you have blinds at home? Is he allowed to play with them?" Say it all with a smile.

I am the most stubborn, hate to fake a smile type of gal but I have found that I can get most everything I want, my way, if I put some sugar on it.

Is there a trick to this because I have genuinely tried to smile sometimes and I can't. I can feel it coming across my face as fake/forced. I try really hard to be nice and polite when I have to give a bad report. Usually it's something that has me upset so I just can't smile. Maybe it just feels fake? I will have to practice in the mirror. :)