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View Full Version : "No! That's Not For Boys!"


SilverSabre25
06-16-2011, 07:49 AM
My newest dcg is very sweet, 3 years old, and gets along great with the other kids. However, today she has started chastising my 3 yo dcb (who doesn't talk much) "No! That's not for boys!" when he's playing with a doll (which he loves to do) or anything else "girly".

Note: I don't ever say anything about "boy toys" or "girl toys" and neither does my DH. This is NOT a concept that I want to "take fire" so to speak. I've been handling it so far by telling her, "DCG, there's no such thing as girl toys and boy toys; everyone gets to play with everything."

DCB is seemingly unphased by DCG's scoldings, but then again, he's verbally delayed so I'm not sure how much he understands of what dcg is saying to him on the subject. I don't want my DD to pick up on this though, and I don't want DCG to keep repeating it, and I don't want DCB to stop playing with dolls and high heels just because DCG told him too.

Besides what I'm already doing...how would you handle this?

Meyou
06-16-2011, 07:56 AM
I tell them that MY toys are for ALL the children and it doesn't matter if you're a boy or a girl. Even if they have gender rules at home it doesn't matter at MY house. My toys are special and like all the boys and girls to take turns with them. It's never taken long for me to break the boy/girl stereotype like this. Plus since I'm only talking about MY toys it doesn't matter what happens anywhere else.

Cat Herder
06-16-2011, 08:11 AM
Does DCG have brothers?

It may just be the DCM's way of keeping DCG's toys safe at home?? Maybe the sex differentiation was unintentional?? I have caught myself doing it with two sons and one daughter. ;)

Also, all my tools are painted/taped pink. NOT because I won't use the blue ones :lol::lol: but because it reminds my DH "Hands off tool Snatcher". :ouch:

NiNi.R.
06-16-2011, 08:50 AM
I think its around age 3 when children start to know gender differences. Maybe this is her way of sorting things out...I would just be consistent in reminding her that everyone can play with any toys and its not her job to decide otherwise.

Zoe
06-16-2011, 08:56 AM
Does DCG have brothers?

It may just be the DCM's way of keeping DCG's toys safe at home?? Maybe the sex differentiation was unintentional?? I have caught myself doing it with two sons and one daughter. ;)

Also, all my tools are painted/taped pink. NOT because I won't use the blue ones :lol::lol: but because it reminds my DH "Hands off tool Snatcher". :ouch:

haha! I deliberately bought pink tools to keep my DH away too. Doesn't seem to stop him. My tools are all organized and easy to find so he just takes mine! :lol: Sigh.

I don't have "boy" or "girl" toys either. So far I haven't had a problem with kids differentiating but if I did I would be doing the same thing as you. Doesn't matter what you play with!

laundrymom
06-16-2011, 10:18 AM
I would ask her why not. Then taylor your reaction to her response


My newest dcg is very sweet, 3 years old, and gets along great with the other kids. However, today she has started chastising my 3 yo dcb (who doesn't talk much) "No! That's not for boys!" when he's playing with a doll (which he loves to do) or anything else "girly".

Note: I don't ever say anything about "boy toys" or "girl toys" and neither does my DH. This is NOT a concept that I want to "take fire" so to speak. I've been handling it so far by telling her, "DCG, there's no such thing as girl toys and boy toys; everyone gets to play with everything."

DCB is seemingly unphased by DCG's scoldings, but then again, he's verbally delayed so I'm not sure how much he understands of what dcg is saying to him on the subject. I don't want my DD to pick up on this though, and I don't want DCG to keep repeating it, and I don't want DCB to stop playing with dolls and high heels just because DCG told him too.

Besides what I'm already doing...how would you handle this?

Blackcat31
06-16-2011, 12:20 PM
I would ask her why not. Then taylor your reaction to her response

Nice response laundrymom!! I think we, as adults assume alot of things from our own perspective and it is always interesting to find out from a child's mind why they do some of the things they do. Great suggestion! :)