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View Full Version : Annoying Comment for a DCM


cheerfuldom
07-01-2011, 07:03 AM
She drops off yesterday. Her DCG is 8 months and always been super easy at drop off and pick up. She is VERY independent and social, you can see that from her personality already. So mom says "I can't wait till she starts crying when I drop off" and I am just standing there confused about why she would want her kid to be crying. Its like parents want the exact amount of crying that lets them know kid misses mom and doesn't want to go to daycare but not enough so that they worry kid is unhappy all day. Okay, let me just reprogram your daughter because she is obviously a little robot at your will and because I have that much control over how each child feels and act minute to minute. oy.

Kaddidle Care
07-01-2011, 07:05 AM
I think Mom is a tad jealous that her daughter is HAPPY to leave her arms and go into yours.

SandeeAR
07-01-2011, 07:12 AM
I guess I'm lucky. All my parents are happy that their kids are happy here and rarely cry. I can count on one hand how many times my 4 have cried when Mom or Dad left.:)

cheerfuldom
07-01-2011, 08:06 AM
We don't have bad transitions at all here either so you would think parents would be happy about that. Its just so frustrating because it seems like there is never a way to even make a parent happy, there is ALWAYS something to complain about.

MyAngels
07-01-2011, 10:14 AM
I actually had a family once that pulled their child from my care because she came in without crying in the morning and got upset and did not want to go home at the end of the day. I never did figure that one out.

familyschoolcare
07-01-2011, 11:34 AM
when i worked for a center and parents would complain that their child did not want to go home I would just smile and say well if that's the only complaint you have about your daycare that's a good thing. Had to stop b/c my director was afraid people would find something to complain about. So I started saying their are worse problems to have with you daycare. Parents usually responded to that with I know my friend the tell a daycare nightmare story. I never did fully understand the complaint itself unless it was a schedule thing.

cheerfuldom
07-01-2011, 12:32 PM
well she is a really great mom and I don't think she sees that obviously her parenting style IS working in creating a happy, independent kid and in choosing a great DCP (hee hee!). I guess she thinks that something is wrong that her little one is not clinging in terror to her every drop off.

familyschoolcare
07-01-2011, 01:30 PM
if you think she think her child is not normal then if she says it again you could tell mom that some independent social children never do cry at drop off.

dEHmom
07-04-2011, 06:21 AM
I think it's more of a hurt thing. Parents who have kids that cry when they leave, feel happy that their kid loves them and will miss them. Parents who have kids that DON'T cry feel sad because their kids are growing up and don't need mommy/daddy anymore.

was it a joke when she said that? or was she serious?

littlemissmuffet
07-04-2011, 10:50 AM
I wouldn't take offence... rather, I would take this as a compliment.
Stay at home moms are lucky in so many ways, and unfortunately, there are too many moms out there who cannot stay home with their littles - they HAVE to work to support their children. It's hard.

well she is a really great mom and I don't think she sees that obviously her parenting style IS working in creating a happy, independent kid and in choosing a great DCP (hee hee!). I guess she thinks that something is wrong that her little one is not clinging in terror to her every drop off.

Then tell her this. :D

nannyde
07-04-2011, 11:09 AM
I wouldn't take offence... rather, I would take this as a compliment.
Stay at home moms are lucky in so many ways, and unfortunately, there are too many moms out there who cannot stay home with their littles - they HAVE to work to support their children. It's hard.



Then tell her this. :D


YES YES YES YES

When you have a parent that is doing a great job TELL THEM you think that. I have excellent parents and I tell them what I think about that ;)

Everybody wants to hear when they are doing it right. Everybody wants to hear a "thank you", "you are an awesome Mommy", "you rule", "I love working with you", and a "I appreciate you so much".

:D

Pammie
07-04-2011, 11:21 AM
I agree with nanny - I compliment my clients when an issue like this arises - kinda sets them back, and deflates the situation.

Especially when I say something to the effect that they're doing such a great job of raising a "secure" child. Their child is "so secure to the core of their soul, and so confident that mommy loves him, and has no doubt that mom will be back at the end of the day - the child doesn't need to be upset!

cheerfuldom
07-04-2011, 04:30 PM
i like that idea. thanks for the feedback

Christian Mother
07-05-2011, 01:10 PM
I actually had a family once that pulled their child from my care because she came in without crying in the morning and got upset and did not want to go home at the end of the day. I never did figure that one out.

Holly Cow!! How long was this child with you?

I have a little guy who has been here since he was 3 months and he is like that...his mom and dad want me to make sure that he isn't doing anything fun so he is ready to go at pick up. They want transition as smooth as possible. I normally don't have much issues with him but I have noticed that when mom is here he puts on a aggressive behavior towards her or slaps at her. He fights to leave. She is a speech therapist for my daughter so she comes for 25 min a couple times a week and he usually acts up most on these days bc he wants extra attention. I finally removed him from beating up is mom and disciplined right in front of mom. I could tell she was a little taken aback bc I think she wanted to but was trying to be nice but it wasn't helping ...he was laughing and hitting her..she is pregnant. Once he knew all involved where not smiling and he was in trouble he wiped the smile off his face and stopped acting up. I feel bad disciplining kids in front of there parents but sometimes a little something more is called for specially if mom isn't going to take care of it right away.

nannyde
07-05-2011, 01:17 PM
Holly Cow!! How long was this child with you?

I have a little guy who has been here since he was 3 months and he is like that...his mom and dad want me to make sure that he isn't doing anything fun so he is ready to go at pick up. They want transition as smooth as possible. I normally don't have much issues with him but I have noticed that when mom is here he puts on a aggressive behavior towards her or slaps at her. He fights to leave. She is a speech therapist for my daughter so she comes for 25 min a couple times a week and he usually acts up most on these days bc he wants extra attention. I finally removed him from beating up is mom and disciplined right in front of mom. I could tell she was a little taken aback bc I think she wanted to but was trying to be nice but it wasn't helping ...he was laughing and hitting her..she is pregnant. Once he knew all involved where not smiling and he was in trouble he wiped the smile off his face and stopped acting up. I feel bad disciplining kids in front of there parents but sometimes a little something more is called for specially if mom isn't going to take care of it right away.

It would be a cold day in he11 before I would allow a child to slap his parent in front of me in my home. It's not about THEM. It's not about the kid... the parent... their family.

It's about ME.

I don't like it and I won't have it.

permanentvacation
07-05-2011, 01:28 PM
I think the mom just wishes she felt like her child missed her or cared that she was leaving her. I'm sure mom's glad that her child is overall happy at daycare, but it probably seems like the child doesn't care at all that mom is leaving her - that's heartbreaking for the mom - to not be missed at all by your baby! Maybe you can let her know something that the child does throughout the day that might be taken as the child acknowledging that mommy is not here. Maybe - hmm she's a bit little to talk yet though - I don't know - maybe the child says ma or something to refer to her mother throughout the day. You could say something to the mother like ' oh, she does look for you throughout the day, she goes around calling for mommy' Just make sure it doesn't come across like the child hates being there and is scared to death and calling for her mother all day long. But maybe there's something you can say that the child does throughout the day to let mom know that the child does think of the mom during the day.

MyAngels
07-05-2011, 09:13 PM
Holly Cow!! How long was this child with you?

I have a little guy who has been here since he was 3 months and he is like that...his mom and dad want me to make sure that he isn't doing anything fun so he is ready to go at pick up. They want transition as smooth as possible. I normally don't have much issues with him but I have noticed that when mom is here he puts on a aggressive behavior towards her or slaps at her. He fights to leave. She is a speech therapist for my daughter so she comes for 25 min a couple times a week and he usually acts up most on these days bc he wants extra attention. I finally removed him from beating up is mom and disciplined right in front of mom. I could tell she was a little taken aback bc I think she wanted to but was trying to be nice but it wasn't helping ...he was laughing and hitting her..she is pregnant. Once he knew all involved where not smiling and he was in trouble he wiped the smile off his face and stopped acting up. I feel bad disciplining kids in front of there parents but sometimes a little something more is called for specially if mom isn't going to take care of it right away.

She was not here for very long, just a few months. I could tell it really bothered her father, especially, when she would cry and run to me instead of either parent when they picked up. I wasn't particularly fond of that, either, to be honest. I want the kids happy to come in the morning, and happy to leave in the evening :lol:.

Christian Mother
07-05-2011, 10:03 PM
I'm with you on that Nan!! :)

DCM and DCD picked up little guy today I mentioned and she took the day off of work bc she wasn't feeling well. I think this pregnancy is high risk bc she miscarried with her last pregnancy. She seems very winded at the end of the day when she comes in to pick up little guy. I should mention that little guy is really big guy. He is 2 yrs and 4 months and is huge! He wears 5T's and 36 or 37 pds. Granted that mom and dad are both tall and stocky so they can handle him. He normally is very well behaved but I've noticed some behavior that dads taught him that carried on here and I've had to nip it in the bud bc he's rough and not intentional but bc of his size he's not gentle. We need to work on that more here bc he thinks it's funny to put his entire weight on the kids or me. So when he was acted up with mom it was time to instantly put a stop to it and I just grabbed him around the waist and moved him away from mom. I got that she was to tired to deal with it and if she was to really deal with it I think it would be a worse punishment. I've never seem her loss her temper with him but I have seen dad. Today at pick up he through him self at me and called me mom and hugged me and I hugged him back but gentle pried him off of me and said DCB I am not mommy what is my name? He told me and then I said where is your mommy and he pointed and I said your right!! :) I knew DCM wasn't upset but she did look at her husband. So i could tell it bothered her. She did say she knows he knows who she is...is it possible that a 2 yr old can play such games?!!! Really???:ouch::ouch: