PDA

View Full Version : Rude Or Just Petty?


PitterPatter
07-08-2011, 06:20 PM
I just can't make clients happy these days! I have a client that needed an earlier drop off time for her 2 toddler everyday since she got an actual job instead of community service, I allowed it. Then she said she needed me to help with some weekends once in a while, I allowed it. I need the extra cash so I thought why not, once in a while wouldn't hurt. I told her I would be willing to do a Saturday here and there but never a Sunday because I do have a family of my own and we too deserve a day off. I told her I would need at least 3 days notice prior to a Saturday she may need so I didn't plan anything because I am technically closed on Saturdays and Sundays. So here is how the convo went today at drop off. Am I just being uptight or is she rude?

I know it's late notice but can u watch the kids for the next 2 days Sat and Sun?

I told u I needed a little advance notice, wednesday would have been good to ask. Besides u still havent even given me your schedule yet so what do u work after Sunday?

I know I know I'll get it to u, so can they come tomorrow and Sun?

They can come Saturday but not Sunday.

Why not Sunday?

(really is doesnt matter why not right???)

Well because 1st of all I told u I too deserve a day off too and 2nd I didn't have ANY notice.

Well I don't have anyone. What do u do that makes them unable to come hang out while u do your thing.

:eek: I don't have kids "hang out" while I "do my thing" I take the time to teach them and be involved with them! Also it is the only time I have to do cleaning and shopping etc. and go to church if u must know.

Can't u just clean around them and take them shopping or church with u with u or wait til evening after I pick up?

:eek: double take :eek: .... REALLY? LOL No sorry, NO Sundays. (NOW I turn the tables!! ) By the way it has been a week since u were supposed to bring the supplies for them I still have NOTHING here. Not 1 outfit nothing for your kids and we are potty training. I also havent been able to allow the kids to play in the water activities because they have no suits. I need those too. Oh and I am running out of my sons sunblock because I have to use it on him and your 2 kids every day so I need that too. U can bring that tomorrow when u come.

Oh I still havent gotten it together I have to buy some sunblock because we dont use it oh and btw Tommy got too much sun here.

Oh no is he burned (checking him) hes not even tan he's white!

No but he wouldnt sleep the other night and he even had problems last night so he must be getting too much sun here.

(I just looked at her blankly I didnt know what to say!) Finally I said Umm ok well they are usually only outside for an hour in the morning, 45 mins before lunch and an hour in the afternoon so I don't see how that effected his sleep.

Well u said u were going to have them out for most of the day so I assumed he got too much sun and thats why his sleep is messed up at night.

OK I will keep them in all day today and we will see how he does. Bye bye.

Then she says, "Oh here are the kids cups" and hands them to the kids. She KNOWS my rules of no cups or food from home ever! She has been here for 4 months! I told the kids to give them back to Mommy because we have personalized cups here. She says no keep them here I need them so they dont scream on the ride home. I tell her she can leave them in the van. She said no they need to stay here so the drink stays cold. I look in the cup there is a dribble of RED KOOL AIDE in each! It's 7:50 am! I said well it's empty anyway but if u insist I can leave them in the diaper bag for u. Then she says oh cant u fill them up for me when I pick them up so they have a drink on the way home. :eek: (we really need a pulling hair out icon for moments like these!)


Is it just me or is she rude expecting me to open just for her at her will? AND have any of u ever heard of a child not sleeping because he was outside too much in the day? AND isn't the 2 meals and 2 snacks enough for them now I supply road trip beverages too? WTH? Am I being petty if so just tell me I can take it.

I'm ready for an overhaul on clients! Dump them all and bring in some new! I sure do miss the good old clients that outgrew my daycare! :(

PeanutsGalore
07-08-2011, 06:37 PM
Rude! She's just pushing it. She thinks you work FOR her rather than being a client of yours, and she's trying to push you into doing whatever she wants you to do however she wants you to do it. Nip it, now! I wouldn't watch her kids anymore on weekends, or at least not watch them without notice. You're being too nice!

littlemissmuffet
07-08-2011, 06:39 PM
I am suprised you let it get so far in conversation.
I would have simply said no about Sat and Sun with such short notice and that would have been that. I would have TOLD her to leave. About the sippies I would have just kept saying "No... no.... no.... no.... no...... k bye now...." opened the door and gave her a little push! :ouch:

PitterPatter
07-08-2011, 06:51 PM
I am suprised you let it get so far in conversation.
I would have simply said no about Sat and Sun with such short notice and that would have been that. I would have TOLD her to leave. About the sippies I would have just kept saying "No... no.... no.... no.... no...... k bye now...." opened the door and gave her a little push! :ouch:

I try really hard to be nice. I am a people pleaser and I do tend to get myself in trouble with it. BUT u guys will be proud of me because I didn't have to push her out the door! :D This is the same Mom that would walk ALL around my house looking around at stuff, telling me all her gossip and woes, staying up to 30 mins after sign in and out! 1 time even taking a cell call on her way out the door and turning around and walking back around my house. She held her hand up to me when I tried to tell her she had to go....

I was told by many then not to even allow her in so as of last month I started taking the sign in sheets out of the folders and now have them on clipboards and enforced it!. I meet them on the front porch and they dont even enter my home! I don't know what I will do come winter but for warm weather this is it no more lounging on my sofa and letting the kids play longer. HA!

AnneCordelia
07-08-2011, 07:00 PM
In the words of Judy, "NEXT!"

I think you're right on that it's time for an overhaul.

TBird
07-08-2011, 07:08 PM
O.....M.....G!!!:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

I'm crawling out of my skin as I'm reading this...THA NERVE!!! And why did this conversation go on so long??? As soon as SUNDAY fell out of her mouth we would have been DONE and just to be "petty" as you call it, I would have told her NO to Saturday as well!!!

I know we all need the money but I put a price on my time and sanity too...money is fluid...it comes and goes but once your time and sanity are gone....well, they're GONE!!! Why can't you do this with her kids.....why can't you do that with her kids.....WELL, WHY CAN'T SHE??? They're her kids!!!

Oh noooooooo...she would have to go!!!:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

PitterPatter
07-08-2011, 07:18 PM
O.....M.....G!!!:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

I'm crawling out of my skin as I'm reading this...THA NERVE!!! And why did this conversation go on so long??? As soon as SUNDAY fell out of her mouth we would have been DONE and just to be "petty" as you call it, I would have told her NO to Saturday as well!!!

I know we all need the money but I put a price on my time and sanity too...money is fluid...it comes and goes but once your time and sanity are gone....well, they're GONE!!! Why can't you do this with her kids.....why can't you do that with her kids.....WELL, WHY CAN'T SHE??? They're her kids!!!

Oh noooooooo...she would have to go!!!:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:


:lol: I just dropped a long time client and although she isn't all there lately 1 of her vents against me when I dropped her was that I am not available enough (10-11 hr days mind u) And that I don't give her a chance to explain things etc. So I thought ok I will do better with future clients.

I was shocked when this dcm asked why the kids couldn't hang out lol Like they are teens that dont need much attention! I honestly just get... shocked when people say such things, and u are right i do need to nip it in the bud next time. I just wonder had I let it go on how much more would she have said u know?

I also have thought things were rude in the past and when I asked here it didn't seem so bad so I am just double checking my mind is in the right set here. TY for the replies everyone!

sharlan
07-08-2011, 07:21 PM
Can we say CRAZY???????????

Unregistered
07-08-2011, 08:00 PM
to cover the sunblock and all the other stuff, or go do laundry, or get new cold drinks on the way home. She's not quite making it, but she isn't giving up, and she doesn't want to turn down a Sunday shift if she can pick it up and catch up on the cash, and she can't use multiple providers.

I'm not saying you should do Sundays, but if you can find someone who will, refer her on.

e.j.
07-08-2011, 08:09 PM
:lol: I just dropped a long time client and although she isn't all there lately 1 of her vents against me when I dropped her was that I am not available enough (10-11 hr days mind u) And that I don't give her a chance to explain things etc. So I thought ok I will do better with future clients.

Just because they say it, it doesn't make it so. You know that being available to her 10-11 hour days was long enough and then some. My guess is, you also gave her more than a fair chance to "explain things". You just didn't buy her explanations and that's what she didn't like. Get her voice out of your head because she's making you second guess yourself when you don't need to.


I also have thought things were rude in the past and when I asked here it didn't seem so bad so I am just double checking my mind is in the right set here. TY for the replies everyone!

You're not being petty and she was being very rude. You are bending over backwards for her already and she doesn't appreciate it; she feels entitled to it and wants more. If she had spoken to me the way she spoke to you, I would have told her I had plans for both weekend days and that I had given it some additional thought and Saturdays would no longer be an option either. Sometimes, the extra money just isn't worth it!

As far as the drinks for the ride home....no way! If the kids can't possibly make the drive home without having a cold drink, she can keep a small cooler in the car with cold drinks in it. She should not expect you to refill their cups for the ride home.

Christian Mother
07-08-2011, 08:22 PM
I ashually redid my PHB a few months ago with my weekends. Hubby wanted to have the weekends for the family so anytime a family would ask about a weekend I would tell them the only time I would consider it is if it was for a important occasion. I only requested a month in advance. I have had parents continue to ask though. I would just say sorry out of town that weekend. All the parents know we head out of town often to visit family. I don't mind watching kids as long as they pick up exactly when they say they will and I ashually charge $5 an hr not my normal daily rate. At the end of this month I am ashually watching one of my guys for a few days and they are paying me $50 a day. Its during the week and not the weekend so I will still have time with the family. :) The way I look at it though with your situation I would stress to her that you no longer provide any daycare services during weekends. You can just say per your husband. That he wants family time. If she tries to argue tell her sorry but that's a family call. Tell her there are plenty of babysitters out there looking to earn some extra cash..maybe a niece or cousin is looking to make extra cash maybe even a neighbor's older kids would like to earn some extra money? Otherwise if you want to go a head and take them for the weekends I would charge her extra. What ever you feel will make watching them on the weekends worth it. :) Good luck to you!!

Oh, forgot to mention -- Water in the sippy cups for the ride home if mom questions you tell her waters free...juice is not. :)

Kaddidle Care
07-08-2011, 08:58 PM
No, you're not being petty and yes, she's being extremely rude. You just watched her children for her 5 days in a row, right? And now she's pushing for the other 2 days? I don't think so. I'm betting these are also your hardest kids to watch. :rolleyes:

I hope you're going a great job teaching her children manners because they won't be getting that lesson from their mother. :cool:

PitterPatter
07-09-2011, 04:06 AM
No, you're not being petty and yes, she's being extremely rude. You just watched her children for her 5 days in a row, right? And now she's pushing for the other 2 days? I don't think so. I'm betting these are also your hardest kids to watch. :rolleyes:

I hope you're going a great job teaching her children manners because they won't be getting that lesson from their mother. :cool:

Her schedule changes with her job. She's not a M-F like my others have been so it's not a case of getting an extra shift as someone lese mentioned. She was off Thursday but works all weekend this week. Her scheduled shift changes weekly and that's another irritating thing she does, she doesn't give me her scheule early enough. Monday when she comes I get that weeks schedule, she claims she doesn't know it until the night before. Anyway I understand she works dif shifts but just because she's off 1 day thru the week doesn't mean I am and she has a hard time remembering that fact.

As for the kids they are good kids otherwise I wouldn't do it. Sure we have spats and sometimes they don't listen but I would say 90% of the time they do as asked and are good kids. I just don't want to be dragging them and their 2 car seats all around with me everywhere. And my son deserves a day without sharing me.

I didn't fill the cups with anything I put them in the diaper bag and forgot about them and guess what... so did dcm! She put the kids in the van and didn't even ask for them. I think it was a power trip because I wouldn't give her full access so like ok then do this.... Nope! I don't see those kids screaming for a drink on the way home anyway.

Thanks everyone for your advise and support! Hope u have a great weekend!

Hunni Bee
07-09-2011, 08:52 AM
So lets see

-She tried to get 12 straight days of care from you.

-Get free drinks for her kids for the ride home.

-Get free sunblock.

-Get you to provide free changes of clothes and possibly swimsuits.

Time for the "NO" face. Which looks essentially like this :confused: while shaking your head nonstop until she leaves. :D

TBird
07-09-2011, 09:19 AM
Oh, forgot to mention -- Water in the sippy cups for the ride home if mom questions you tell her waters free...juice is not. :)

HA!!! I actually had a mom (since TERMINATED) who always asked me for a MILK cup for her drive home. HUH??? Are you kidding me??? Why don't I just go to Walmart and buy ALL of your groceries for you!!!:ouch:

Meeko
07-09-2011, 08:01 PM
HA!!! I actually had a mom (since TERMINATED) who always asked me for a MILK cup for her drive home. HUH??? Are you kidding me??? Why don't I just go to Walmart and buy ALL of your groceries for you!!!:ouch:

I've had this too. It never fails to amaze me that parents seem to think we have a bottomless fridge and bank account...... I usually tell them that I will fill the sippy with water,.......but if every child asked for milk or juice to go home, I'd be broke as the food program doesn't pay for "to go orders"!!!!

sharlan
07-09-2011, 08:12 PM
I did have one family that I sent home with filled sippy cups everyday. On a good day, it would take them 45 mins to get home. Mom kept crackers of some sort in the car for them.

Crazy8
07-09-2011, 08:15 PM
wow, she is definitely being rude and taking advantage of you. I would want to help someone out if they are working a new job and having a tough time making it but to expect you to work 7 days a week and to be so rude about it??? That is just crazy.

I love my daycare families... every once in a while they do something that may bug me :lol: but reading stories on here really makes me appreciate them!

PitterPatter
07-09-2011, 09:04 PM
Has the hair pulling out icon idea been accepted yet? :mad:

Sooo Today I took the kids and at drop off still no supplies. I made a point to say "Now u won't be working long today right?" She replied no should be normal pick up time. Which has been anywhere from 3:00-4:30 at the latest. Great no prob have a good day.

An hour later DCB spills water all down the front of him totally soaked! (water table) I am mad because I still have NO supplies for them!! Luckily I bought outfits for them to keep at my house or he would have nothing!

The day is extra long they only napped 45 mins! Nothing will keeo them interested today for some reason. It's just a bad day and I think it's because it's a Saturday and I am not supposed to be working. :rolleyes:

4:00 comes and no DCM so I text and ask how much longer she will be and she says Oh not much longer. I say ok well I have dinner plans with family at 5:00 and as u know I close at 5:00 anyway so please make sure u are here by then at least.

4:45 I text again and say I need to get a shower so I am having my Mother come sit with your kids she will sign u out. How much longer please? She texts back not much longer.

I go get a shower and still she's not here. 5:15 I text and say i really need to leave now my family is holding steak dinner for us. I get text back sorry should be done soon. Finally 5:45 she pulls up! I am mad she knows it she doesn't make eye contact or even say sorry. I also notice she isnt wearing her uniform she had on this morn! She now has short shorts thongs and a spag strap tank. SOOOO she was already late and then took more extra time to change!!

I tell her the kids only napped for 45 mins today and she said thats good. I said good? She says yes I dont allow them to ever sleep more than an hour. i wake them up and make them stay awake or they wont sleep at night. :eek: WHAT? They nap at 12:30 or 1:00 that wont effect night time sleep habits for a 2 yr old especially. She says oh yes it will and gets bossy sounding Mrs know it all. Well that's the 1st I have heard of this so I ignore it because she also said the dcb had too much sun and she could tell because he's not sleeping at night. WHATEVER!

So I ask if she has her schedule for me and she says no. I give her a disappointed look and said why not? She said well its the same as usual. OK?? meaning what? She says I only get 1 day off but this time it's Tuesday. UGH ok thanks, I say, and I gave u ANOTHER list of the supplies I need for summer. She moved it away and signed the last page. Layed it down and walked away not taking the paper she didnt even read it! I picked it up and handed it to her saying here u will need to take this so u know what to bring, have a good weekend. She doesnt say a word but shoves it in her bag. I give the kids a hugs and they start down the steps with DCM.

I put the paperwork inside and turn around to see DCB ripping my wind sock off of the pole! I said, Did u just break that?? DCM says yes he did I told u he is destructive. I said Tommy!! That's not nice. DCM says he's destructive and giggles walking away. :eek::eek::eek:

I swear to God I think she has some metal issues! Not drugs or anything but plain stupidity! Ignorance, something! How flipping rude to not apologize, not have your child apologize, not correct it in ANY way and leave it lay keep going AND giggle on top of it?. What in the hell is wrong with her? This is the same child that was throwing nic nacs off my porch before DCM even rang the doorbell 1 morn when they 1st started months ago. I guess I need to start making her pay for stuff. Don't get me wrong DCB is usually good for me but he just turned 2 so he does things. She on the other hand should know better! She's really chapping my ass again! So I am on the lookout for new clients. I liked having siblings because that's $800 a month I know I will have. But there are just too many issues adding up. I can't/wont go into detail but I know for a fact NONE of u would tolerate at least 1 of the other issues.

I really need to crack down on this family hard and quick!

sharlan
07-09-2011, 09:35 PM
I can tolerate a lot, but I don't think she would last in my home.

Kaddidle Care
07-09-2011, 10:30 PM
Has the hair pulling out icon idea been accepted yet? :mad:



Here you go: http://i717.photobucket.com/albums/ww173/prestonjjrtr/Smileys/1sm056pullhair.gif

Hope you find a replacement soon. I surely don't have your patience.

PitterPatter
07-10-2011, 10:44 AM
Here you go: http://i717.photobucket.com/albums/ww173/prestonjjrtr/Smileys/1sm056pullhair.gif

Hope you find a replacement soon. I surely don't have your patience.

:lol::lol::lol: That is perfect!!! TY for sharing!!

I'm just amazed at how rude people can be and how much manners they can lack. A simple please, thank u, sorry goes a LOOONG way with me!

SandeeAR
07-10-2011, 02:02 PM
And you are keeping these people why??????? No amount of money is worth her disrespect of you and your family.

PitterPatter
07-10-2011, 06:12 PM
And you are keeping these people why??????? No amount of money is worth her disrespect of you and your family.

I am weeding out the bad and just termed another family last month. The advise and support I received here finally helped me get the nerve to do after more than a yr. This is the only full time family I have left. If I drop them without taking on someone else 1st then I won't have enough income to live on. The kids are usually good for me no problem there. It's just the rude Mother! Even the Father isn't as bad as her but I rarely see him as he is disabled in a way.

Around here 99% of my clients are CC&R/Welfare families paid by the sate and I hate to sound rude myself or sterotype but they all seem to have this entitlement attitude. AND seem to think I work FOR them. Trust me it's going to be nipped in the bud. I already made a few changes and I will continue to do so. Next week I am telling her if she doesn't have the supplies and paperwork in by Friday I will not be taking the kids on Monday. Oh and I am also not watching them next weekend like she will wait ask for on Friday. :rolleyes:

Christian Mother
07-11-2011, 01:42 PM
Start looking for another family!! :) Do interviews and and when you find that perfect family you feel sooo much better when you term her. It is never the kids that are the problem its the parents. Sorry your weekend turned out the way it did. I would of been steamed!! Did you charge her a late fee?!!:mad:

CoachingForQualityImprovement
07-11-2011, 02:30 PM
I'll never understand why providers put up with this type of behavior, EVER???? I have never had a parent treat me like this. You gotta let em' know from day one that you command respect and that you will not tolerate such "abuse" No amount of money is worth that type of crap.

PitterPatter
07-11-2011, 05:26 PM
Start looking for another family!! :) Do interviews and and when you find that perfect family you feel sooo much better when you term her. It is never the kids that are the problem its the parents. Sorry your weekend turned out the way it did. I would of been steamed!! Did you charge her a late fee?!!:mad:

No I didn't charge her a late fee, she isn't even paying right now. LOOONG story but she is a state client and is supposed to be getting 1 last form in before I can be issued a certificate. Then I will get most of my money thru the state and a small portion from her. I do have her under the old contract before she had to take time off work for a serious injury. So if she ditches that should hold up. I dont see her ditching tho.

I did 1 better today by changing her contract! She came in almost 6:00pm AGAIN! I had text her 2 times at 4:30 and 5:00 to which she didnt reply at all. She said she tried to text but it wouldnt go thru. K whatever. As soon as I opened the door instead of handing her the clipboard and denying her access like I have been doing I actually invited her in. I said right away "u need to come in for a discussion please have a seat. These late pick ups can NOT happen anymore. We need to change the contract to a scheduled pick up time for u and the kids MUST be picked up by that time or u will be paying fees every day, every hour, for every child! Now lets start with what time u will be able to have someone pick them up if u are working late?" She sat there shocked and humbled. She stuttered ummm maybe 3:30 or 4:00? I said great 4:00 it is! I already took the liberty of deciding that myself today, here is your printed copy and mine lets sign on the dotted line right now! I handed her the pen and had her fill out the kids names on that line and her name beside the fee reminders and the final sig at the end. I am done playing games with these people!

She didnt have much to say she was either very mad or sad or just shocked! Hindsight I can NOT believe I jumped her before she could open the screen door! :ouch: I dont know what got into me I was very stern almost mean. I felt bad afterwards so I told her I understand that her work times vary but I have a family that cannot have their schedule thrown up in the air daily. She said she understood and she even left telling me 1 of her stories as she walked away so I think we will be fine. Lord please let us be fine :lol:

Zoe
07-11-2011, 05:57 PM
Good for you! I'm the same way. I let it happen for so long that when I finally confront I end up feeling bad thinking, was I too mean or harsh? I don't think you were harsh at all in this situation. You were firm. And it's EXACTLY what she needed. She came an hour late, right? That's not okay, and she seemed to think it was.

I'm so happy that you were able to stick up for yourself! Congrats! :)

e.j.
07-12-2011, 11:29 AM
I dont know what got into me I was very stern almost mean. I felt bad afterwards so I told her I understand that her work times vary but I have a family that cannot have their schedule thrown up in the air daily.

Her showing up late yesterday must have been the straw that broke the camel's back. Good for you for standing up for yourself and your family!

Based on your posts, I doubt you were mean. When you're not used to standing up for yourself, it can feel mean when you finally do speak up. It's an uncomfortable feeling at first but when she stops using you and abusing your policies and starts treating you with more respect, you'll be happy you confronted her. Just remember to stay firm. She seems to need boundaries set for her.

cheerfuldom
07-12-2011, 02:47 PM
Not speaking up is being "mean" to yourself and your family, remember that