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View Full Version : Things Just Got Way To Personal For Me!


NiNi.R.
07-12-2011, 02:18 PM
Sooo my one and only DCM that ever causes me problems helped to cause things to get real awkward around here. She is 34 and works with my 21 year old brother. So my youngest brother was cruising around town last Friday night at 1:30am he comes across the older brother's truck at my DCM's house and calls me the next morning to tell me this. So when I confront him about it...he says he had been drinking with a few buddies when she invited him over so he went and things went to far because obviously he wasn't sober and that will NOT be happening again. Now let me just add that this is not a habit of my brothers BUT DCM's last boyfriend was also 21 years old.

Now I'm pretty sure she doesn't know I know and had we not caught my brother I probably wouldn't have found out but she did act super weird Monday morning and I was mad enough I could of smacked her in the face but I of course refrained myself. I realize her personal life is none of my business but they kind of made it real hard for me to stay out of it...ugh! and the gross factor on top of it just makes it even worse. I figure I can't really do much about it except for maybe find some reason to terminate. I plan to raise my rates in January and was feeling kind of guilty about it because she's a single mom and all that...but now I'm feeling a little less guilty and really hoping she just decides to take her kids elsewhere.

IDK...how would you handle things?

JenNJ
07-12-2011, 02:26 PM
Well, you have to decide of this is someone you can work with. If not, terminate. It isn't your business what she OR your brother does in their personal lives. But if you don't want her as a client BC She overstepped boundaries, term her.

cheerfuldom
07-12-2011, 02:30 PM
why not raise rates now?

daycare
07-12-2011, 02:57 PM
yeah that would be weird, but you have to realize regardless of the age difference your brother is just as much at fault.

I think that i too would have a hard time with it, but what happens outside of your business really should be of no concern to you. Your little brother made it your business, which I am not too sure that I would want to know what anyone does behind closed doors.

If you feel akward with her then I would just raise rates and let her find herself her own way out. I think that if you were to put out the notice now that rates are going up, and give everyone 30 days that would be fair.

I agree with the other poster dont wait to raise the rate. It might not sound fair, but if it is truly getting under your skin to where you can't get over it, then get her out any way you can....If she doesnt leave when you raise the rates then you might need to have a plan B

youretooloud
07-12-2011, 03:11 PM
why not raise rates now?

Bahaha!!!

OK... I'd stay out of this. I think it's a little gross too, but I think i'd try to put it out of my mind for the sake of the child. If I really couldn't handle the mom anyway... before all of this, I'd find a reason to drop them.

I bet your brother will let it slip to her that you know. Hopefully she's mortified.

nannyde
07-12-2011, 03:59 PM
ewwwwwwwwwwwww

how uncomfortable is that?

:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:

sharlan
07-12-2011, 04:01 PM
You might find it gross/embarassing, but it's really their business, no one elses.

Meyou
07-12-2011, 05:16 PM
I think it's pretty freaking wierd to pick up your childcare providers younger brother. I HOPE she didn't know he was related to you.

Childminder
07-12-2011, 05:45 PM
What difference does the age make if they are good people, you like her/him, and they make each other happy? Would not bother me at all. Age is just a number its the personality of the person that matters..

Unregistered
07-12-2011, 06:01 PM
The age thing is no big deal and the fact is, it is none of your business. Sorry you had to know, but gossip is what it is and so is family. No where in your contract does it say "Brothers are off limits...."

But - you have every right to tell her you are just not comfortable anymore.

TBird
07-12-2011, 06:14 PM
Mmmmmm...if it were my brother, kind of awkward but bottom line not my business. IMHO....:ouch:

littlemissmuffet
07-12-2011, 09:18 PM
Personally, I don't think this is a valid reason to terminate. As others have pointed out, it's none of your business... and most certaintly should not affect your business!

wdmmom
07-13-2011, 05:32 AM
I'd terminate and SOON!

I just see this being a big mess and it's going to blow up in your face although you had nothing to do with it.

If your brother is sleeping with this woman and he cuts it off, what's the next best thing to retaliate on??? YOU!!! It'll either be 1 of 2 things:

1.) Either she is going to come clean and tell you that something was going on (after the fact) and beg you to talk to him and help patch this all up because she's so in love, blah, blah, blah

2.) If they're sleeping together (especially if it was a one night stand) or if she's the obsessive type, you can bet that the sun will come up everyday that she is going to retaliate to you.

It's going to turn to a bad situation and quick.

If you think it's ackward now, just wait until your brother comes to pick up the DCK! :lol::lol::lol:

NiNi.R.
07-13-2011, 06:16 AM
To answer everybody's questions...
1. I realize it is absolutely none of my business..hence what makes it even more awkward.
2. I realize it's not just her but also my brother that caused it. Believe me..he got an earful. This is NOT something that is turning into a relationship. He went on and on about how weird it was and that it won't be happening again.
3. I'm not raising rates now because I just handed out new contracts and it feels a little irresponsible to me to change something already. Plus, December is going to be a transition time where i have new kids coming in and some leaving.
4. So far this week I've just been putting it out of my mind when I see her and I'm sure I'll get over it as long as it doesn't turn into a relationship in which case I will be terminating. It was more the gross factor I felt like sharing as I read this forum pretty often but I haven't read about something quite like this.

Meeko
07-13-2011, 08:15 AM
Yep to the yuck factor!

Hopefully you can fill your thoughts with rainbows and unicorns and candy canes instead of.......:eek::eek::eek:

Zoe
07-13-2011, 08:31 AM
Yep to the yuck factor!

Hopefully you can fill your thoughts with rainbows and unicorns and candy canes instead of.......:eek::eek::eek:

Haha! Yes this! I'd be upset and grossed out too if that happened to me. You're doing the right thing by trying to ignore it but staying on your toes in case it escalates.

MarinaVanessa
07-13-2011, 09:32 AM
I'm sorry but I guess I'm the odd one out here because I think that it is your business ... as in, it's your DC and this mom already gives you grief and now you have to deal with the fact that your little bro and her knocked boots .... eww by the way. You already don't like her and I'm sure that things get wierd and uncomfortable already because of her DC antics, now on top of the daycare drama you have to deal with now you have to live life knowing that your little bro boinked her ... just sayin ... and that would drive me BANANAS!!

Unfortunately when you do DC, as much as you want to keep it all business, we do have personal emotions ... these are our homes and our families afterall. I guess I'm just saying that if you should decide to let the family go I'm with you all the way. This is your daycare business and you should feel comfortable in your own home, things shouldn't feel akward, that's too stressfull and you'll hate anticipating seeing her everyday. I mean, people have terminated clients for much less (i.e. being late) ... why not because she screwed your brother... just sayin. If you don't want to term them and just raise their rates then go for it. I still support you. And I'm am proud of you because I don't know if I could have avoided confronting her and going totally ballistic, so kudos to you. :ouch:

PeanutsGalore
07-13-2011, 10:05 AM
Sooo my one and only DCM that ever causes me problems helped to cause things to get real awkward around here. She is 34 and works with my 21 year old brother. So my youngest brother was cruising around town last Friday night at 1:30am he comes across the older brother's truck at my DCM's house and calls me the next morning to tell me this. So when I confront him about it...he says he had been drinking with a few buddies when she invited him over so he went and things went to far because obviously he wasn't sober and that will NOT be happening again. Now let me just add that this is not a habit of my brothers BUT DCM's last boyfriend was also 21 years old.

Now I'm pretty sure she doesn't know I know and had we not caught my brother I probably wouldn't have found out but she did act super weird Monday morning and I was mad enough I could of smacked her in the face but I of course refrained myself. I realize her personal life is none of my business but they kind of made it real hard for me to stay out of it...ugh! and the gross factor on top of it just makes it even worse. I figure I can't really do much about it except for maybe find some reason to terminate. I plan to raise my rates in January and was feeling kind of guilty about it because she's a single mom and all that...but now I'm feeling a little less guilty and really hoping she just decides to take her kids elsewhere.

IDK...how would you handle things?

Keep quiet and wash my brain off real good!;)

laundrymom
07-13-2011, 11:29 AM
I think I would tease my brother for a few days then get over it.

NiNi.R.
07-13-2011, 12:25 PM
I think I would tease my brother for a few days then get over it.

Believe me LOTS of teasing has been done. People might find it strange that I'm up in his business but my brothers and I are all really close. Best friends growing up and best friends now and we live in a small town so it's kind of hard not to be.

NiNi.R.
07-13-2011, 12:36 PM
I'm sorry but I guess I'm the odd one out here because I think that it is your business ... as in, it's your DC and this mom already gives you grief and now you have to deal with the fact that your little bro and her knocked boots .... eww by the way. You already don't like her and I'm sure that things get wierd and uncomfortable already because of her DC antics, now on top of the daycare drama you have to deal with now you have to live life knowing that your little bro boinked her ... just sayin ... and that would drive me BANANAS!!

Unfortunately when you do DC, as much as you want to keep it all business, we do have personal emotions ... these are our homes and our families afterall. I guess I'm just saying that if you should decide to let the family go I'm with you all the way. This is your daycare business and you should feel comfortable in your own home, things shouldn't feel akward, that's too stressfull and you'll hate anticipating seeing her everyday. I mean, people have terminated clients for much less (i.e. being late) ... why not because she screwed your brother... just sayin. If you don't want to term them and just raise their rates then go for it. I still support you. And I'm am proud of you because I don't know if I could have avoided confronting her and going totally ballistic, so kudos to you. :ouch:

Thank you! It's hard to to put into words why i'm so opposed to it without giving everyone her entire back story and you helped to describe my feelings perfectly. I'm irritated with my brother for being so stupid but more at her because of her behavior and how it affects her darling daughters. Just the other day one of the girls was pretending to talk on the phone with her "boyfriend" and then she started yelling "I'm going to cuss you out boyfriend"..:eek:.my eyeballs just about fell out of my head when I heard it. So god only knows what else those kids see/hear at home.

dEHmom
07-13-2011, 01:21 PM
honestly, my opinion is that it isn't any of your business what they do. And just like you said, you probably wouldn't have even know if it wasn't for your other bro.

BUT should they decide to start dating, then you can claim (for the life of me this has completely slipped my mind, but basically the fact that you know the person, so you cannot work with them now. Kind of like when a cop knows a suspect so he is not allowed on the case, wth is it called!!!)

ETA: CONFLICT OF INTEREST! Thank gawsh! I knew I wasn't crazy lol.

daycare
07-13-2011, 02:01 PM
honestly, my opinion is that it isn't any of your business what they do. And just like you said, you probably wouldn't have even know if it wasn't for your other bro.

BUT should they decide to start dating, then you can claim (for the life of me this has completely slipped my mind, but basically the fact that you know the person, so you cannot work with them now. Kind of like when a cop knows a suspect so he is not allowed on the case, wth is it called!!!)

ETA: CONFLICT OF INTEREST! Thank gawsh! I knew I wasn't crazy lol.
you keep freezing your brain with all of those slurpees...

thought of you on the 11th.... it was 7-11 free slurpee day at the 7/11 stores....but I did not go get one... In fact I have not gotten another since the first one.... Too yummy for me and I would become addicted... lol

dEHmom
07-14-2011, 05:18 AM
you keep freezing your brain with all of those slurpees...

thought of you on the 11th.... it was 7-11 free slurpee day at the 7/11 stores....but I did not go get one... In fact I have not gotten another since the first one.... Too yummy for me and I would become addicted... lol

aww you thought about me!

yeah, we never go for the free slurpee days. know why? because the slurpee machines cannot keep up. and the line ups are ridonkulus, so we avoid slurpees that day.

cillybean83
07-14-2011, 07:23 AM
i have a 22 year old brother and he tries to sleep with everything, i wouldn't be offended by it...if she's putting out, and he's taking...that's between them, you have no part in it.

jojosmommy
07-14-2011, 10:27 AM
I would call her out on it. I would mention that you are aware of what may have happened and you just want to be clear that your business and her personal life are completely seperate. Remind her that you have a grievance policy and if anything DAYCARE related comes up she needs to approach you professionally and chat with you about things. Remind her that it is your responsibility to care for her kids and what happens after hours is not your business (literally) or a reflection there of. Tell her that you arent going to judge her about it and wish to not talk about it again, however that this episode should in no way conflict with the care/services you provide. (Good luck doing it with a straight face- I would DIE)

That way IF something comes up in the future she can not try and say you are a bad provider etc.

Maybe she will term out of embarassment.