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PitterPatter
07-13-2011, 10:06 AM
A DCM is really pizzing me off! I have gotten used to the children coming with an odor and unclean clothing and I have been making do here with clothing that I buy and use on them and just wiping them down etc. But these past 2 weeks are really getting to me. I want to speak up but I have already been on her for other issues these 2 weeks so I kinda hate to have to complain AGAIN but this is BS! Maybe I am just picky I don't know so will u tell me please?

Mondays come and the kids USUALLY have a SEMI clean pair of socks on. Tuesday same pair more dirty, Wednesday now just eew grimey, I don't even want to discuss the next day I gagged trying to put them back on! The stench and just grim that was literally wiping off of them GAG! This goes for both kids but dcb 2 is worse for some reason! I bet they dont even take them off for 4 days or longer. The dcg has had the same pen mark (not sharpie just basic pen) over her eyebrow since Saturday morning! This is Wednesday!! I usually scrub them up but this mark I left just too see how long it takes before they wash it off. It is fading but not due to washing. They have to see it right on her forhead!

Also DCB has been brought in many poopy diapers, some dried on poop! Almost daily! We play outside as soon as they arrive to beat the heat. I thought for the first few times the dried on poop was my fault, maybe he pooped while playing and since we were out for 30 mins to an hour, that could be it so I started checking as soon as DCM left. Sure enough he comes in poop! What can I say? She obviously knows this. At least today she had to know because I smelled him right away and thought maybe he tooted I'll wait to see if she speaks up. Nope off she went.

So how do u tell a parent they need to change the NASTY filthy socks that they knowingly leave on a child every day? How do I tell her to change him when she comes? I already have it in handbook they are to come clean and dressed for the day with a fresh diaper. I also put the reminder in the newsletter again! So what now? When she drops him off he's on my time so surelt she just assumes its my duty but this means making the kids go in the house right away to change a poopy diaper then take them back out to begin the day again. Thios is the same parent that I cracked down on with pick up times. Advise please???

daycare
07-13-2011, 10:18 AM
YOu need to be honest with this mom... Once you let things slide, well they just keep on going.

I would tell her directly that the kids need to be in clean clothes and diapers. Then I would make it a point to check the kid right as the mom dropped them off. DOn't wait. If its dirty you make mom take him out to the car and change it.
Do they have a change of clothes? I would take the dirty ones off and send them home and say when they have clean replacments they can come back. The kids cannot be here without the necessary supplies. No clean clothes, no stay.

I know we can't force a parent to bath a child, but this just sounds like neglect. Horrible that they would go this many days without a shower/bath or even a good wipe down. I don't give my son a bath daily, but you bet your butt he will get a good scrubbing with a wash cloth and soap.

Again, just be honest with this mom. What will happen to these kids when they go to shcool like this? More than likely they will be shut out and teased....:(

countrymom
07-13-2011, 10:28 AM
pack the socks up in a bag, and when she comes and picks them up hand them too her. Tell her that you washed your floors and rug and that you can't have dirty socks in the house. As for the poopy, do you have kids of your own, do what my girls where doing, the minute this dcg came in they would loudly say "mom she smells" took a couple of times and mom felt embarressed and checks her on the way out.

PitterPatter
07-13-2011, 10:35 AM
YOu need to be honest with this mom... Once you let things slide, well they just keep on going.

I would tell her directly that the kids need to be in clean clothes and diapers. Then I would make it a point to check the kid right as the mom dropped them off. DOn't wait. If its dirty you make mom take him out to the car and change it.
Do they have a change of clothes? I would take the dirty ones off and send them home and say when they have clean replacments they can come back. The kids cannot be here without the necessary supplies. No clean clothes, no stay.

I know we can't force a parent to bath a child, but this just sounds like neglect. Horrible that they would go this many days without a shower/bath or even a good wipe down. I don't give my son a bath daily, but you bet your butt he will get a good scrubbing with a wash cloth and soap.

Again, just be honest with this mom. What will happen to these kids when they go to shcool like this? More than likely they will be shut out and teased....:(

I have NO spare changes! I have been after her for literally MONTHS when she 1st enrolled! She did bring 1 set for 1 of the kids 2 months ago but I had to use them and she never brought more so I went out and bought sets for here. I told her Monday they had to be brought by Wednesday no more excuses which she has a ton of. She comes today I asked do u have the supplies? She said yes all in the bag except for towels and swim diapers. All I got was 2 pair of shorts for the dcg and each had a swim suit. No shirts at all and nothing for dcb. No socks at all, no sunblock.... I wrote her a long letter stating what I needed. She is having someone else pick up the kids today so I wrote the letter. I swear it's like she's mentally handicapped or something!

Someone else suggesting taking the socks off and bagging them and handing her the bag saying simply "here are their socks" that way I don't offend her or mad her mad again but maybe she will get the point.

TY for the help guys!!!

PitterPatter
07-13-2011, 10:37 AM
pack the socks up in a bag, and when she comes and picks them up hand them too her. Tell her that you washed your floors and rug and that you can't have dirty socks in the house. As for the poopy, do you have kids of your own, do what my girls where doing, the minute this dcg came in they would loudly say "mom she smells" took a couple of times and mom felt embarressed and checks her on the way out.

LOL u are the 2nd person that suggested that bag idea! We will try that 1st. My son has said eew what stinks and I told him that's not nice. I didn't want the kids to feel bad about themselves. DCG is going to be 4 and still in diapers this is just BS! I can get her to go if I take her all day but she NEVER tells me on her own I have to just say Lets go try anyway.

wdmmom
07-13-2011, 10:38 AM
I really liked a previous poster's penalty for breaking the rules. 1st time your rate goes up by $1.00. Do it again $2.00, 3rd times a charm...$3.00 more per day. Lastly, get rid of them.

Sounds like this mom is more worried about getting herself ready in the morning than taking care of her kiddos. :( Tell here that these are your requirements and they aren't being met. If she can't give them a quick bath at night and get up 15 minutes earlier each day, she's a problem.

I would bring it up like so:

"You read my handbook when you started, right? And, do you read the newsletters that go out every so often? Well, I've noticed that your kids come in wearing dirty clothes and the same socks for days on end.

Heck...if you need the money, you might even want to go as far as offering to do a few loads of laundry a week for her for a certain dollar amount. Maybe she'll take you up on it. :)

laundrymom
07-13-2011, 10:43 AM
I would remove the dirty clothes, socks included and bag them. Send them home in dipes. I would also say, hey can you change them each day before you leave? They seem to poop on the way here every day and taking them in to change them throws off our routine. Thanks. If she says she doesn't have time, tell her to hold on. Check them, if they are wet or dirty tell her they need changed before she leaves unless she wants you to increase fees.

meganlavonnesmommy
07-13-2011, 11:05 AM
Honestly, I'd report her to the state for neglect. I think its sad that a child is raised in a home like that. Just imagine what her home looks like? If she doesnt have the common sense/daily living skills to keep her children clean and clothes clean, do you honestly think she is keeping a clean house, or meeting their basic needs?

I hate to be harsh, and maybe things at home are fine. But I've seen a few homes where it was just plain nasty! I had to call CPS on a neighbor a few years ago. I was never inside the home, but the outside was nasty, garbage all over, dirty poopy diapers sat on the front porch for days (out in the open), cigarettes all over the front porch, you could see in the windows that the screens and blinds were all torn and broken, the kids were always dirty, unkept and she was constantly yelling at them. I mean SCREAMING at them.

As a childcare provider, I am required to report ANY AND ALL child abuse and neglect. It states so in my contract that parents sign.

After I called, I heard from a neighbor that once CPS came, the inside of the house was horrible, like an episode from Hoarders horrible. They didnt take the kids away, but they did give her the help she needed to get things cleaned up. She had to go to parenting classes and had follow ups.


Just and idea......

wdmmom
07-13-2011, 11:38 AM
Honestly, I'd report her to the state for neglect. I think its sad that a child is raised in a home like that. Just imagine what her home looks like? If she doesnt have the common sense/daily living skills to keep her children clean and clothes clean, do you honestly think she is keeping a clean house, or meeting their basic needs?

I hate to be harsh, and maybe things at home are fine. But I've seen a few homes where it was just plain nasty! I had to call CPS on a neighbor a few years ago. I was never inside the home, but the outside was nasty, garbage all over, dirty poopy diapers sat on the front porch for days (out in the open), cigarettes all over the front porch, you could see in the windows that the screens and blinds were all torn and broken, the kids were always dirty, unkept and she was constantly yelling at them. I mean SCREAMING at them.

As a childcare provider, I am required to report ANY AND ALL child abuse and neglect. It states so in my contract that parents sign.

After I called, I heard from a neighbor that once CPS came, the inside of the house was horrible, like an episode from Hoarders horrible. They didnt take the kids away, but they did give her the help she needed to get things cleaned up. She had to go to parenting classes and had follow ups.


Just and idea......

I wouldn't recommend calling CPS. That cost the state a lot of time and money...especially if it were something like that.

I would continue with it a little further...documenting the days he/she comes in with a dirty diaper and the days they wear the same clothes/socks.

Is this a single mom?

I think there is a lot more that needs to be factored in other than bad hygiene. Take a drive by her house/apt and see what they place looks like.

PP made a comment about calling CPS on her neighbors. You sound like my old neighbors. They called CPS on me because we were remodeling my house and I had a dumpster outside that had trash, lumber, drywall, etc. in it and they were concerned for the kids! REALLY?! Just because the outside looks like hell doesn't mean that's what the inside looks like. My ex husband and I had an agreement...I do the indoor work, he did the outside work. However, he didn't do a good job of it.

What one person considers unacceptable isn't necessarily so unsafe.

I'm not trying to make excuses but not everyone lives the same and can afford to bathe daily.

PitterPatter
07-13-2011, 12:27 PM
To respond to some questions here.

There is a Father, he lives with them but can't watch the kids due to a disability issue with his hands.

The state is already involved she tells me all the time, complaining the caseworker is coming back to her house AGAIN and shes tired of it. She says the caseworker gets in her business telling her the almost 4 yr old should be potty trained by now. I guess he was sanctioned before and they are doing updates one her or something. I dont ask I just listen to her gripe as she goes on her way.

She doesnt pay anything for child care so I cany up anything. The state pays it or will once she gets her paperwork in. We are talking just laziness here. She is pretty clean and I dont get close enough to smell her but the kids get hugged everyday and it's just sad!

Sending the bag home at pick up today and starting there. I am buying them socks this week and just changing them here and let them go home. See what happens, she should mention it. I will mention the diaper in the morn if its dirty and bring past to her attention as well. TY all!!

jojosmommy
07-13-2011, 12:30 PM
Since it is summer I would let them wear the socks on Monday and "disappear them" on Tuesday. Mom probably wont notice and might put on another pair for wednesday. Either way I would call her out on it and I would not let kids wear nasty socks in my house. gross.

PolarCare
07-13-2011, 12:54 PM
Next monday, mark the socks on the inside of the cuff with a water based marker.

Then on Friday, say "I marked these socks on monday. These are the same socks. Haven't been washed and haven't been changed. That is why Social Services is on your case. This is neglectful behavior. I am telling you because I am assuming that you don't know any better.

"From now on, these children will be bathed daily and they will be provided with clean clothes daily, by you, before they are left in my care. They will arrive in clean diapers. If they do not, YOU will not leave them here until they ARE clean. If you attemt to drop these kids off filthy and soiled again, I will call social services immedietely. Not ONE MORE CHANCE will you get."

Blackcat31
07-13-2011, 01:01 PM
Next monday, mark the socks on the inside of the cuff with a water based marker.

Then on Friday, say "I marked these socks on monday. These are the same socks. Haven't been washed and haven't been changed. That is why Social Services is on your case. This is neglectful behavior. I am telling you because I am assuming that you don't know any better.

"From now on, these children will be bathed daily and they will be provided with clean clothes daily, by you, before they are left in my care. They will arrive in clean diapers. If they do not, YOU will not leave them here until they ARE clean. If you attemt to drop these kids off filthy and soiled again, I will call social services immedietely. Not ONE MORE CHANCE will you get."

Sometimes real honesty and the blunt truth is just what is necessary. It may be tough or uncomfortable to say those words but I'm am wagering that those are the only words she will understand so time to start speaking up. Good Luck !! :)

wdmmom
07-13-2011, 01:06 PM
Next monday, mark the socks on the inside of the cuff with a water based marker.

Then on Friday, say "I marked these socks on monday. These are the same socks. Haven't been washed and haven't been changed. That is why Social Services is on your case. This is neglectful behavior. I am telling you because I am assuming that you don't know any better.

"From now on, these children will be bathed daily and they will be provided with clean clothes daily, by you, before they are left in my care. They will arrive in clean diapers. If they do not, YOU will not leave them here until they ARE clean. If you attemt to drop these kids off filthy and soiled again, I will call social services immedietely. Not ONE MORE CHANCE will you get."

Awesome, Awesome, Awesome idea! Love it!

CheekyChick
07-13-2011, 01:14 PM
Next monday, mark the socks on the inside of the cuff with a water based marker.

Then on Friday, say "I marked these socks on monday. These are the same socks. Haven't been washed and haven't been changed. That is why Social Services is on your case. This is neglectful behavior. I am telling you because I am assuming that you don't know any better.

"From now on, these children will be bathed daily and they will be provided with clean clothes daily, by you, before they are left in my care. They will arrive in clean diapers. If they do not, YOU will not leave them here until they ARE clean. If you attemt to drop these kids off filthy and soiled again, I will call social services immedietely. Not ONE MORE CHANCE will you get."

Ding. Ding. Ding.

Great answer.

SandeeAR
07-13-2011, 03:24 PM
Next monday, mark the socks on the inside of the cuff with a water based marker.

Then on Friday, say "I marked these socks on monday. These are the same socks. Haven't been washed and haven't been changed. That is why Social Services is on your case. This is neglectful behavior. I am telling you because I am assuming that you don't know any better.

"From now on, these children will be bathed daily and they will be provided with clean clothes daily, by you, before they are left in my care. They will arrive in clean diapers. If they do not, YOU will not leave them here until they ARE clean. If you attemt to drop these kids off filthy and soiled again, I will call social services immedietely. Not ONE MORE CHANCE will you get."


Wonderful idea!!!! Rehearse it in your head many times, so you don't leave anything important out!!!! Bet this works on her. If not, it is time social services stepped up and took care of those poor kids.

TBird
07-13-2011, 03:56 PM
This lady is already in the CPS system, but like some of the other posters I don't feel like I would call CPS over the kids being "dirty". Sometimes "my dirty" isn't another person's dirty (even though it would skeeve me...I'm OCD). As long as I didn't feel that they were neglected i.e. malnutrition, infections because of the uncleanliness, etc., etc., I would just be honest with her and take it from there.

Also.............are you licensed??? I only ask because my Licensor looks at everything and comments on everything. Nice lady but I've started to notice that when she comes for an inspection she doesn't just look at my daycare or my paperwork, she actually looks the DCK's over and makes comments. "Awww....I see little Suzy has a bruise on her nose." Um nooooo....that would be a blue vein. My daughter had the same one as a baby. "Oh.....I see little Johnny has stitches on his forehead." Um yesssssss....but he got those at home, not here. Subtle stuff like that....

So, I say all that to say I could only imagine if I had disheveled looking children here. She would probably think I was keeping them dirty or that I am neglecting my Mandated Reporting duties. If you're licensed I would tell the mom that she is putting your license in jeopardy and that if you get an inspection, she could be putting you into some really hot water!!!:(

dEHmom
07-14-2011, 05:33 AM
Next monday, mark the socks on the inside of the cuff with a water based marker.

Then on Friday, say "I marked these socks on monday. These are the same socks. Haven't been washed and haven't been changed. That is why Social Services is on your case. This is neglectful behavior. I am telling you because I am assuming that you don't know any better.

"From now on, these children will be bathed daily and they will be provided with clean clothes daily, by you, before they are left in my care. They will arrive in clean diapers. If they do not, YOU will not leave them here until they ARE clean. If you attemt to drop these kids off filthy and soiled again, I will call social services immedietely. Not ONE MORE CHANCE will you get."

This is exactly what needs to be done. It sounds harsh, but there are always ways to lighten it up, so she truly gets the point, but does not feel attacked. It would hurt to find out that people think your own child is disgusting.

There is no excuse for this. Kids are dirty by nature, at least my kids! lol. But there is a huge difference between dirty, and disgusting. My kids can have 4 baths a day, and within 10 minutes of being outside they are filthy again. We have a dirt road backlane, so everytime the wind or a car goes by, it sends dust flying. They have been doing construction on the main sewer lines around here as well, so everytime a tractor goes down the road, he is dropping dirt and dust (the street is caked in dust, dirt, and sand) and so even my house is hard to keep the dust levels down right now.

But you can tell my kids have fresh clean clothes on, that they have bathed, etc. These kids are in for a very hard life if mom doesn't straighten out. I'm sure with dad's disability it is very hard for her to keep up. But there is no excuse. Tell her to wear the same pair of socks day in and day out for a week. It would be better for these kids to not wear socks at all.

If they haven't bathed in a week, wore the same socks for a week, they could easily be at risk for infections. When they get into undies, who's to say they won't change their undies for a week?

I know a family who is a great family, but they aren't the cleanest parents. The kids are always spotless, and clean. Mom's always got greasy hair and dad's a slob. When they were living in a trailer with grandma, the kids would have a bath WHILE mom showered. But that's better than nothing. and I'm sure that was only every other day or more.

I cannot fall asleep unless I have a shower before bed. If I am too tired or sick and go to bed dirty, sheets HAVE to be changed before I can get back into bed the next day because to me, I was dirty when I went to bed, meaning the bed is now dirty too. EW I just cringed.

PitterPatter
07-14-2011, 08:15 AM
Update:

Again she was late picking up yesterday and blew it off, even had her DH with her! They both acted as if nothing was wrong. No sorry I am 45 mins late etc. This morn paper work STILL not in. Socks are changed but still brownish gray from the grim build up they will never be white again. I know I am still having back bone probs but I did terminate another client for disrespect and still dealing with backlash from that so I am trying to take this 1 easy so 2 red flags arent raised against me with my licensor. Anyway This is what I said this morn.

DCM was getting the car seats out like she used to in case DCD has to pick up. DCG said "our car seats out?" DCM said "yes in case daddy has to pick u up." I chimed in and patted her shoulder with a smile and said "yes because mommy was 45 minutes late again yesterday" and gave a nod like u know better. DCM just giggled and shrugged like oops. STILL no simple sorry about that, nothing. I have to just accept she has NO manners or respect what so ever! I then said "looks like u guys have been outside playing already this morn with dirty knees and hands, did u have fun?" and I giggled to make the kids smile. DCM gave me a funny look and said "no they just got up and we came here." I said oh they must have fallen asleep before bathtime then. She looked at me with a nasty look, put her hands on her hips and said "no I bath them". Oh ok I said and let it go because she is obviously ready for a dispute right there in front of the kids. I am in a no win situation here!

Sooo turns out DCD is in the darm this whole time.. DCD calls me this morn after breakfast and has JUST NOW found a couple notes I wrote this week and last and 1 from DCM this morn where the kids have to be picked up at 4:00 today. He wants to know why the kids need picked up at 4:00 today. (obviously she has not even showed him the contract we signed!) I explained to him "I give written notices all the time and she doesnt always take them home. The 2 he has are the ones I MADE her take home. As for the 4:00 that was HER decision. I told her we needed a scheduled pick up time and that the 6:00 pick ups had to stop because our 5:00 dinners and family time was suffering. She said she would have the kids picked up at 3:30 or 4:00. I said great, 4:00 it is and we signed the contract with that to be the new pick up time."

He says "Wow I dont know what shes thinking because she never knows when she gets done it could be 6:30 - 7:00 before she would get the kids so I dont know how they will be picked up." I then explained in detail about my needing time to make dinner for my family and have some time to ourselves each day and with me working some weekends for them on top of it is just too much time. Sometimes I have 60+ hr work weeks and it's too much. He said he understood and would see what he can do but he has things he goes out and does everyday to earn a lil cash. (I thought ok fine why not get the kids while u are out doing things? He doesnt work because he is on disability so is he even allowed to work these odd jobs? If he can work odd jobs why cant he work a legit job? She works full time plus they get welfare. And still havent paid a cent for my daycare services for 2 weeks now. We don't know what portion the state will make them pay so we wait for the certificate BUT they are holding the certificate up by not turning in the required forms! Now they want someone to take their kids for 60- 66 hrs per week weekends included? Nope sorry!) He said "DCM doesnt stay on the ball and plays around too much and that he will try to keep her on track there if I can help keep her on track here that would be great!" Thats a shame when her own DH thinks of her the same way I do!

I thought about brining up the cleanliness issue with him but he sees his kids every day he knows how they live so I didnt even open that can of worms. I decided when they have grimey socks I will take them off and hose them down with some detergent on the patio and let them dry in the sun.

I am thinking they will be looking for another provider due to the pick up time restriction but I don't know anyone who will work weekends and just fluctuate their daycare schedule to fit theirs every week. Plus whatever the other kids have. Do Any of u work those hours for anyone?

SandeeAR
07-14-2011, 08:28 AM
Maybe I missed something, but if she still hasn't filed the paper work, and your still not getting paid, ummm....why are you keeping these kids? You are better off with no kids and searching to fill the spots they are taking up. At least you would have less stress while trying to fill them. Personally, I don't think she has any plans to file the paperwork. She is using you for totally free daycare with NO effort on her part.

littlemissmuffet
07-14-2011, 08:29 AM
Update:

Again she was late picking up yesterday and blew it off, even had her DH with her! They both acted as if nothing was wrong. No sorry I am 45 mins late etc. This morn paper work STILL not in. Socks are changed but still brownish gray from the grim build up they will never be white again. I know I am still having back bone probs but I did terminate another client for disrespect and still dealing with backlash from that so I am trying to take this 1 easy so 2 red flags arent raised against me with my licensor. Anyway This is what I said this morn.

DCM was getting the car seats out like she used to in case DCD has to pick up. DCG said "our car seats out?" DCM said "yes in case daddy has to pick u up." I chimed in and patted her shoulder with a smile and said "yes because mommy was 45 minutes late again yesterday" and gave a nod like u know better. DCM just giggled and shrugged like oops. STILL no simple sorry about that, nothing. I have to just accept she has NO manners or respect what so ever! I then said "looks like u guys have been outside playing already this morn with dirty knees and hands, did u have fun?" and I giggled to make the kids smile. DCM gave me a funny look and said "no they just got up and we came here." I said oh they must have fallen asleep before bathtime then. She looked at me with a nasty look, put her hands on her hips and said "no I bath them". Oh ok I said and let it go because she is obviously ready for a dispute right there in front of the kids. I am in a no win situation here!

Sooo turns out DCD is in the darm this whole time.. DCD calls me this morn after breakfast and has JUST NOW found a couple notes I wrote this week and last and 1 from DCM this morn where the kids have to be picked up at 4:00 today. He wants to know why the kids need picked up at 4:00 today. (obviously she has not even showed him the contract we signed!) I explained to him "I give written notices all the time and she doesnt always take them home. The 2 he has are the ones I MADE her take home. As for the 4:00 that was HER decision. I told her we needed a scheduled pick up time and that the 6:00 pick ups had to stop because our 5:00 dinners and family time was suffering. She said she would have the kids picked up at 3:30 or 4:00. I said great, 4:00 it is and we signed the contract with that to be the new pick up time."

He says "Wow I dont know what shes thinking because she never knows when she gets done it could be 6:30 - 7:00 before she would get the kids so I dont know how they will be picked up." I then explained in detail about my needing time to make dinner for my family and have some time to ourselves each day and with me working some weekends for them on top of it is just too much time. Sometimes I have 60+ hr work weeks and it's too much. He said he understood and would see what he can do but he has things he goes out and does everyday to earn a lil cash. (I thought ok fine why not get the kids while u are out doing things? He doesnt work because he is on disability so is he even allowed to work these odd jobs? If he can work odd jobs why cant he work a legit job? She works full time plus they get welfare. And still havent paid a cent for my daycare services for 2 weeks now. We don't know what portion the state will make them pay so we wait for the certificate BUT they are holding the certificate up by not turning in the required forms! Now they want someone to take their kids for 60- 66 hrs per week weekends included? Nope sorry!) He said "DCM doesnt stay on the ball and plays around too much and that he will try to keep her on track there if I can help keep her on track here that would be great!" Thats a shame when her own DH thinks of her the same way I do!

I thought about brining up the cleanliness issue with him but he sees his kids every day he knows how they live so I didnt even open that can of worms. I decided when they have grimey socks I will take them off and hose them down with some detergent on the patio and let them dry in the sun.

I am thinking they will be looking for another provider due to the pick up time restriction but I don't know anyone who will work weekends and just fluctuate their daycare schedule to fit theirs every week. Plus whatever the other kids have. Do Any of u work those hours for anyone?

:( Poor kids.
Poor you.

Best of luck with this all.

As for your question, I only work M-F 7am-5:30pm but I have a couple of family members who run home daycares as well - one with the same days and hours as me and the other works Monday through Saturday 6am to 9pm... she's on the verge of burning out though.

PitterPatter
07-14-2011, 08:46 AM
Maybe I missed something, but if she still hasn't filed the paper work, and your still not getting paid, ummm....why are you keeping these kids? You are better off with no kids and searching to fill the spots they are taking up. At least you would have less stress while trying to fill them. Personally, I don't think she has any plans to file the paperwork. She is using you for totally free daycare with NO effort on her part.

She is thru the state they will pay me most of the money she will pay a portion but the state cant decide what that is until she gets paperwork in. Her last extention is coming up next week and she intends on waiting until the last day.

I wouldn't really have less stress because then I would definatley have NO way to pay all my bills. I am a single mom this is my only income. They have been here for months but recently left due to an injury with DCM and is now back but the certificate expired so she is renewing and taking her time. The CC&R office manager basically talked me into taking them and told me she will be approved once they subitt the last form but did say I didnt have to rovide care. I need an income and the state only pays once a month so I couldnt risk waiting and definatley having nothing so I opted to take this risk and atleast have a hope of getting paid. This DCM has 2 kids. They are my ONLY full time kids so I need the money until more come along.

PitterPatter
07-14-2011, 08:50 AM
:( Poor kids.
Poor you.

Best of luck with this all.

As for your question, I only work M-F 7am-5:30pm but I have a couple of family members who run home daycares as well - one with the same days and hours as me and the other works Monday through Saturday 6am to 9pm... she's on the verge of burning out though.

Thanks for the support everyone!!

If I didnt have a child of my own I may run late hours but my poor kid shares everything all day including me and I just feel he deserves to have some time with me to himself and some time alone in his own house, yard etc as well. We have a pool and he can't even swim in it until evening sometimes. I have been thinking about closing the pool for good because I waste money in chemicals for maybe a few hrs per week of swim time. Turning to a vent lol sorry I'm done. TY again!!

SandeeAR
07-14-2011, 08:55 AM
she will pay a portion.

Has she been paying her "portion" while waiting on the state? I understand not being able to pay bills, been there, done that too. But what are you paying the bills with now? The state isn't paying you now. I would be doing EVERY thing I could to fill her spots NOW.

IF she isn't paying her "portion" now, you will never see the back pay, even if she files the paperwork and the state starts paying.

I hope I'm wrong, but you are being taken for a ride by this lady.:(

MarinaVanessa
07-14-2011, 09:17 AM
Okay I understand that she has an extension and I don't know how it all works in your state so does that mean that for sure they will back-pay all of the time that you've been watching the kids? I know that here in my area the subsidy program back-pays but starting only from the day that their paperwork is turned in and processed. You watch the kiddos that month and turn in the hours at the beginning of the following month you don't see payment for another month later. So in essence you're getting paid for that current month two months later. The way I do it is that I need the letter in my hand that says that they are FOR SURE getting assistance and what their family fee will be and they still pay for DC until I get that check in my hand, then I reimburse the families. That way at least I know that I get paid for sure. I don't know if you can do that where you are, not everyone allows this, but if you can you may want to think about doing this.

Let me ask you this: What will happen if she doesn't turn in her paperwork on time?

Meeko
07-14-2011, 09:41 AM
In Utah, the state will pro-rate what they pay.... back to the day the paperwork was turned in.... ALL OF IT.
I don't know how your state works, but here, if they have not go the paperwork, they will not process it. You may find yourself with the state not willing to pay a dime of any care already provided because they don't have paperwork. They may only start to pay if and when she turns it in.

Is there a possibility she isn't eligible and is stringing you along? That was a huge problem here for a while. Parents were going to the welfare office, picking up a state day care form and taking it to day care providers to fill out. Gullible providers were taking the kids and waiting for funds. And waiting. And waiting. Turns out the parents were never even eligible for care and they knew it. But the providers saw the form and figured it was coming. So parents were getting free care for up to a few months before providers had enough.

The state told us to NEVER assume the parent is eligible. Just because they get some state benefits doesn't mean they get them all..

I don't take anyone unless I have cash up front (I will pay them back anything above what is due after the state pay) or I have occasionally taken kids after checking with the state and getting a promise from them that funds ARE coming soon.

Never, ever trust the parent to tell you the truth. Sad, but it's a fact that if they can stiff you, they will.

MarinaVanessa
07-14-2011, 09:43 AM
In Utah, the state will pro-rate what they pay.... back to the day the paperwork was turned in.... ALL OF IT.
I don't know how your state works, but here, if they have not go the paperwork, they will not process it. You may find yourself with the state not willing to pay a dime of any care already provided because they don't have paperwork. They may only start to pay if and when she turns it in.

This is what I was thinking too which is why I asked. Here subsidy only gets back-payed (prorated) starting from the date the paperworks get turned in and is logged into the system as turned in.

Blackcat31
07-14-2011, 09:58 AM
This is what I was thinking too which is why I asked. Here subsidy only gets back-payed (prorated) starting from the date the paperworks get turned in and is logged into the system as turned in.

Exactly this!! Also what Meeko said...the mom may be stringing you along. Here, EVERY. SINGLE. piece of paperwork that is required for attendance must be turned in to me COMPLETED BEFORE I will provide one single second of service for a family. I too, earned this lesson the hard way. :mad:

Sugar Magnolia
07-14-2011, 11:09 AM
Do Any of u work those hours for anyone? [/U]

Ahhhh! This! Horrific! Its bad enough that these kids are neglected at home and then dumped on you! BUT DAD DOESNT WORK?!?!? OMG! Stay home with your darn kids! Do some laundry! Bathe your kids! These people are the worst of the worst. Pitter, do you absolutely need the income from these two kids? You have no other prospective clients? I do agree this is neglect, the condition they arrive in.... If a child arrived here like that, I would not accept them into care!!!! If you, as a provider, asked them to supply clean changes of clothes, and the parents refuse, this seems like neglect. I feel SOOOOO BAAAAD for YOU and the kids. Dad should care for them!!! Or get a job!!!! Ugh! Double up: ugh UGH!
And no, I wouldn't work weekends or over 50 hours, not for wonderful parents, much less THESE "parents".

Sugar Magnolia
07-14-2011, 11:21 AM
I'd even go so far as to do this: next time they arrive with filthy bodies and filthy clothes and poopy diapers: I'd give them a bath!! After bath I'd wash their clothes. Perfectly clean diaper before DCP's arrive. "I have bathed your children and washed their clothes. They are in fresh diapers. If these children do not look exactly like this tomorrow morning, I will not accept them into care. I am a required reporter of abuse and neglect. The condition your children arrive to school in has made me suspect neglect. Next time these children arrive dirty, in dried on poopy diapers or without 100% of the requested items, I will report you to DCF.".
I know this scenario is difficult. Maybe a friend can help you watch the other DCK you have while you bathe these kids and wash their clothes. Its NOT your responsibility to do it, BUT it seems like the dummie parents need a visual aid to see HOW THEIR KIDS ARE EXPECTED TO LOOK! Yes, its a threat. They need a serious wake up call.

Sorry, Pitter, this topic makes my blood BOIL. Not directed at you, but at the low lifes you have to deal with.

MarinaVanessa
07-14-2011, 11:45 AM
I also sort of have to wonder why your daycare hasn't had a call from child services. I used to watch a little girl regularly (before DC) and the mom had child services called on her and her case worker called me and even came to my home to ask questions about the little girl. She asked things like did I see any odd behavior, what were the mom's interactions like with her when I saw her, did she come clean and wearing clean clothing, did she seem hungry, etc. I'm wondering then if this isn't done everywhere.

dEHmom
07-14-2011, 11:56 AM
I also sort of have to wonder why your daycare hasn't had a call from child services. I used to watch a little girl regularly (before DC) and the mom had child services called on her and her case worker called me and even came to my home to ask questions about the little girl. She asked things like did I see any odd behavior, what were the mom's interactions like with her when I saw her, did she come clean and wearing clean clothing, did she seem hungry, etc. I'm wondering then if this isn't done everywhere.

i can see this happening 6 months from now. or depending on what the claim was opened for. If its physical abuse, sexual abuse, etc.

wdmmom
07-14-2011, 12:06 PM
She is thru the state they will pay me most of the money she will pay a portion but the state cant decide what that is until she gets paperwork in. Her last extention is coming up next week and she intends on waiting until the last day.

I wouldn't really have less stress because then I would definatley have NO way to pay all my bills. I am a single mom this is my only income. They have been here for months but recently left due to an injury with DCM and is now back but the certificate expired so she is renewing and taking her time. The CC&R office manager basically talked me into taking them and told me she will be approved once they subitt the last form but did say I didnt have to rovide care. I need an income and the state only pays once a month so I couldnt risk waiting and definatley having nothing so I opted to take this risk and atleast have a hope of getting paid. This DCM has 2 kids. They are my ONLY full time kids so I need the money until more come along.

Are you sure this family will even qualify for subsidy? If not, she's in several hundred dollars to you right off the bat. Not a good idea.

I'd be making her pay until the state approves or denies her. If they approve her, give her back the money, if they deny, at least you have been paid!

I would specifically tell DCM "THESE ARE MY HOURS >>> TO<<<) IF YOU NO LONGER FEEL YOU CAN ACCOMMODATE A PICK UP TIME AT OR BEFORE 4PM, I HAVE NO OTHER ALTERNATIVE BUT TO PROVIDE YOU WITH A 2 WEEK NOTICE. I HOPE YOU CAN FIND ANOTHER PROVIDER THAT CAN ACCOMMODATE YOUR FAMILIES SCHEDULE AND NEEDS.

ALSO...is the state really willing to pay 60-66 hours of childcare for 2 children each week?! That's insane!

And...STOP WORKING WEEKENDS! She can find a babysitter for that! :)

CoachingForQualityImprovement
07-14-2011, 12:21 PM
I feel badly for you, really I do, but I have to say you cannot be taken advantage of if you don't allow it, and you ARE allowing it.

Put your foot down. She is picking up late without so much as an apology because YOU are allowing it and SHE KNOWS you aren't going to stop her.

Tell her today, this is it, one more late pick up and services will be terminated effective immediatley. Then enforce it.

nannyde
07-14-2011, 12:48 PM
She is thru the state they will pay me most of the money she will pay a portion but the state cant decide what that is until she gets paperwork in. Her last extention is coming up next week and she intends on waiting until the last day.

I wouldn't really have less stress because then I would definatley have NO way to pay all my bills. I am a single mom this is my only income. They have been here for months but recently left due to an injury with DCM and is now back but the certificate expired so she is renewing and taking her time. The CC&R office manager basically talked me into taking them and told me she will be approved once they subitt the last form but did say I didnt have to rovide care. I need an income and the state only pays once a month so I couldnt risk waiting and definatley having nothing so I opted to take this risk and atleast have a hope of getting paid. This DCM has 2 kids. They are my ONLY full time kids so I need the money until more come along.

This doesn't sound good at all. NEVER take the word of a worker. You HAVE to have it in writing.

You could easily get taken on this. The Mom has NOTHING to loose.

It doesn't make sense that the Dad can't care for the kids. Why is the State paying for child care when the Dad is home... disability or not. It's discriminatory to HIM to not allow him to care for his own children WITH his diability.

Is this funding based on their child protective case??????

SandeeAR
07-14-2011, 01:02 PM
To respond to some questions here.

There is a Father, he lives with them but can't watch the kids due to a disability issue with his hands.

This was in post #10.

PitterPatter
07-14-2011, 01:13 PM
Has she been paying her "portion" while waiting on the state? I understand not being able to pay bills, been there, done that too. But what are you paying the bills with now? The state isn't paying you now. I would be doing EVERY thing I could to fill her spots NOW.

IF she isn't paying her "portion" now, you will never see the back pay, even if she files the paperwork and the state starts paying.

I hope I'm wrong, but you are being taken for a ride by this lady.:(

We dont know what her portion will be so I cant charge her anything. I am paid at the beginning of every month for all of the kids the month before in 1 lump sum minus their little portions. I am living on last months income and money I had saved up for vaca.

I will def take her to court if she dogs me on this. Guarentee that! I am trying to fill spots but everyone is usually placed for the summer by this time.

SandeeAR
07-14-2011, 01:16 PM
We dont know what her portion will be so I cant charge her anything. I am paid at the beginning of every month for all of the kids the month before in 1 lump sum minus their little portions. I am living on last months income and money I had saved up for vaca.

I will def take her to court if she dogs me on this. Guarentee that! I am trying to fill spots but everyone is usually placed for the summer by this time.

Charge her your regular rate and refund any difference. I just think you are making a Major mistake taking her word for it. I really think you are getting taken for a ride. Hate to see that happen to anyone.

She has nothing to lose. You are giving her FREE daycare. :eek:

PitterPatter
07-14-2011, 01:16 PM
Okay I understand that she has an extension and I don't know how it all works in your state so does that mean that for sure they will back-pay all of the time that you've been watching the kids? I know that here in my area the subsidy program back-pays but starting only from the day that their paperwork is turned in and processed. You watch the kiddos that month and turn in the hours at the beginning of the following month you don't see payment for another month later. So in essence you're getting paid for that current month two months later. The way I do it is that I need the letter in my hand that says that they are FOR SURE getting assistance and what their family fee will be and they still pay for DC until I get that check in my hand, then I reimburse the families. That way at least I know that I get paid for sure. I don't know if you can do that where you are, not everyone allows this, but if you can you may want to think about doing this.

Let me ask you this: What will happen if she doesn't turn in her paperwork on time?

The CC&R said they will back date the certificate to cover from the day she 1st applied and I will be paid for every day. IF she doesnt turn the paperwork in then I will go after her in court and try to prevernt her from being permitted daycare service so she can't do it again. They probably do that themselves at the office but I will make sure.

PitterPatter
07-14-2011, 01:22 PM
I'd even go so far as to do this: next time they arrive with filthy bodies and filthy clothes and poopy diapers: I'd give them a bath!! After bath I'd wash their clothes. Perfectly clean diaper before DCP's arrive. "I have bathed your children and washed their clothes. They are in fresh diapers. If these children do not look exactly like this tomorrow morning, I will not accept them into care. I am a required reporter of abuse and neglect. The condition your children arrive to school in has made me suspect neglect. Next time these children arrive dirty, in dried on poopy diapers or without 100% of the requested items, I will report you to DCF.".
I know this scenario is difficult. Maybe a friend can help you watch the other DCK you have while you bathe these kids and wash their clothes. Its NOT your responsibility to do it, BUT it seems like the dummie parents need a visual aid to see HOW THEIR KIDS ARE EXPECTED TO LOOK! Yes, its a threat. They need a serious wake up call.

Sorry, Pitter, this topic makes my blood BOIL. Not directed at you, but at the low lifes you have to deal with.

I know and I understand I am mad too thats why I posted. If I drop them they could go to a provider that doesnt care and they would never be taught better. I know of a provider that just sat her kids on a couch all day. At least here they get cleaned up, they get taught to wash their hands and such.

I keep telling myself when I get other kids I will be stern and demand she clean them up and if she pulls them (she will immediatley I know it) then so be it but what about the kids then. Its hard to decide.

MarinaVanessa
07-14-2011, 01:22 PM
We dont know what her portion will be so I cant charge her anything. I am paid at the beginning of every month for all of the kids the month before in 1 lump sum minus their little portions. I am living on last months income and money I had saved up for vaca.

I will def take her to court if she dogs me on this. Guarentee that! I am trying to fill spots but everyone is usually placed for the summer by this time.

Hon, even if they have most of their DC paid for it's better to start by having them pay for their chil care in full until you get that first check. Once you get your payment and cash it you can reimburse them minus their family fee. You're actually in a worse spot now vs not having a client. They're getting free childcare and you'll have to chase your money if she doesn't follow through with what she needs to do. But good luck to you, hopefully you get more children soon.

Meeko
07-14-2011, 01:30 PM
The CC&R said they will back date the certificate to cover from the day she 1st applied and I will be paid for every day. IF she doesnt turn the paperwork in then I will go after her in court and try to prevernt her from being permitted daycare service so she can't do it again. They probably do that themselves at the office but I will make sure.

I am a bit confused. Here...CCRR is not the state. State welfare benefits are from the Dept of Workforce Services. CCRR here had a small program for people LOOKING for work. But if the mom is working, she should be going through DWS???

PitterPatter
07-14-2011, 07:15 PM
I am a bit confused. Here...CCRR is not the state. State welfare benefits are from the Dept of Workforce Services. CCRR here had a small program for people LOOKING for work. But if the mom is working, she should be going through DWS???

No here CCRR is where she gets the certificate for childcare. She has to file all the papers with them. They are working with welfare but everything is done through their office for childcare. I hand them the sign in sheets and they do whatever and I get a direct deposit in my bank from the State treasury a week or so later.

I called the office again today because dcm was done at 3:00 and I know for a fact she has the papers with her her DH told me so. I called the office and still nothing! I talked with our manager and she said she is sorry she suggested that I could take them and be back dated because it is a simple paper to turn in but at this point dcm is obviously just slacking and doesnt care to get them in. STILL she is worried about the large bill the parent will have to be responisble for if she doesnt get it in in time. I asked if they would help me collect from her she said they could not that I have to go after her on my own and to make sure she signs in and out daily as evidence that her kids were in my care. I already knew that so I said I may have to take her to court then. She suggested I tell her, that's it no more, and put a stop to it until the papers are turned in. She said she has seen this happen before.

I asked what happens if she lets it lapse. She said she can just reapply :eek: BS! These parents shouldnt be allowed to do that until all debts owed are paid! What is wrong with this system. All I get from her is "we are here to help" yeah the wrong guy! So I am telling her tomorrow at drop off she may not bring the kids at all this weekend and if the paper is not turned in by Friday afternoon she may not bring the kids back on Monday either!

My backbone is getting stronger or maybe I am just fed up with the BS of lazy parents! Thanks ladies!

Meeko
07-14-2011, 08:41 PM
No here CCRR is where she gets the certificate for childcare. She has to file all the papers with them. They are working with welfare but everything is done through their office for childcare. I hand them the sign in sheets and they do whatever and I get a direct deposit in my bank from the State treasury a week or so later.

I called the office again today because dcm was done at 3:00 and I know for a fact she has the papers with her her DH told me so. I called the office and still nothing! I talked with our manager and she said she is sorry she suggested that I could take them and be back dated because it is a simple paper to turn in but at this point dcm is obviously just slacking and doesnt care to get them in. STILL she is worried about the large bill the parent will have to be responisble for if she doesnt get it in in time. I asked if they would help me collect from her she said they could not that I have to go after her on my own and to make sure she signs in and out daily as evidence that her kids were in my care. I already knew that so I said I may have to take her to court then. She suggested I tell her, that's it no more, and put a stop to it until the papers are turned in. She said she has seen this happen before.

I asked what happens if she lets it lapse. She said she can just reapply :eek: BS! These parents shouldnt be allowed to do that until all debts owed are paid! What is wrong with this system. All I get from her is "we are here to help" yeah the wrong guy! So I am telling her tomorrow at drop off she may not bring the kids at all this weekend and if the paper is not turned in by Friday afternoon she may not bring the kids back on Monday either!

My backbone is getting stronger or maybe I am just fed up with the BS of lazy parents! Thanks ladies!

I think you need a "Pitter Patter Posse" ......some of us need to get over there and stand beside you while you tell this lazy woman off!! :lol::lol:

Good luck...hope it works out!