PDA

View Full Version : "7 Discipline Mistakes Mom's Make"


CoachingForQualityImprovement
07-14-2011, 06:45 PM
Please, share your opinions on this:

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/parenting/7-discipline-mistakes-all-moms-make-2509433/

Zoe
07-15-2011, 09:24 AM
I think the basics of this article are okay. Simply put, sometimes the best thing you can do is remain calm and pick your battles. I'm not saying let your kids do whatever they want! But I've witnessed my husband putting our kids to bed and he nitpicks everything they do, whether it's decent or naughty behavior, and he does it in an over-reacting kind of manner. By the end of the night, usually both kids are crying or having a fit.

I pointed this out to him and he tried remaining calm and thinking about what the kids are actually doing. Are they just being silly kids or are they doing something naughty? Bedtime has become a better routine and honestly, the kids are better behaved because Daddy is in a better mood.

I've never tried the time-in thing and I don't think it would work for me. Whenever a child has done something that warrants a time out, I'm usually upset by the behavior and need a time out from the child so that I can calm down. No, it doesn't really teach them anything, which is why I take the time to talk to the child about their behavior AFTERWARDS.

safechner
07-15-2011, 09:46 AM
I have read about this last night. To be honest, everyone is different. It is the biggest problem are parents who lets that happen. I have been saying no to my children and they are very good listen and well behaved.

Some children are brat because some parents dont like to say "No" to their children. Now the children know how to control their parents. That is sad! :rolleyes:

SimpleMom
07-15-2011, 10:04 AM
I would agree that different things work for different kids. Don't take a kid out for errands and expect perfect behavior without proper rest, food, etc. Just asking for trouble ;)

Also agree with say what you mean and mean what you say. Do follow through with a consequence cuz your kiddo will know you mean business.

I do believe kids are more aware and can/do know more than we give them credit these days. Kids can behave if EXPECTED to behave. It's all in the expectations and in the respectful approaches the parents have in showing them that. No matter if it's a spanking, a time-out, a withdrawing of priveledges---just be respectful about it and consistent. They'll get the message.

MommyMuffin
07-15-2011, 10:44 AM
It sounds alright but I am so overwhelmed by all the information out there telling us how to raise our kids. I only wish for a close friend who has well rounded children to ask advice from.

jen
07-15-2011, 10:56 AM
I think some of it is OK...some of it really depends on your perspective. For example, time out. The author states that time out isn't meant as a punishment, but an opportunity to calm down. That is true for a toddler, but not true for an older child. In the case of this article, the author states that after the child calmed down, the parent should explain why the behavior is wrong. If the child is old enough to understand, especially after some time has passed, then time out is a punisher, at least from a behavior modification standpoint.

A "punisher" is something that lessons the probability of a behavior being repeated in the future. A "time out" from a positive reinforcer (such as playing) is in fact using punishment...

The head banging is simply the child's way of attempting to escape the consequence of his or her behavior and if we go and hold the child, we are reinforcing head banging behavior. A REALLY bad idea. If a child head bangs in time out, a better option would be to put them someplace where they can't hurt themselves or give them a helmet. The same goes for providing comfort while in time out.

This article has a lot of psuedo-science in it and didn't differentiate the appropriate use of time out by age...which, truthfully, is why I don't think it works well. People use it to punish a child who is too young and use it as a cuddle session for a child that is too old.

DCP&Momof3
07-15-2011, 11:22 AM
I would agree that different things work for different kids. Don't take a kid out for errands and expect perfect behavior without proper rest, food, etc. Just asking for trouble ;)

Also agree with say what you mean and mean what you say. Do follow through with a consequence cuz your kiddo will know you mean business.

I do believe kids are more aware and can/do know more than we give them credit these days. Kids can behave if EXPECTED to behave. It's all in the expectations and in the respectful approaches the parents have in showing them that. No matter if it's a spanking, a time-out, a withdrawing of priveledges---just be respectful about it and consistent. They'll get the message.

I totally agree! As parents we can be respectful to our children so that they learn to be respectful! Just don't forget that WE are the parents, not the kids! My problem is with the parents who take this too far and just plain don't use common sense! Not saying "No" all the time isn't the same as letting your kids do whatever they want!

Kaddidle Care
07-15-2011, 03:27 PM
I think the lack of follow through is the worst one. (been there, done that - I'm guilty too)

I learned to take away the smaller things at least at first. Don't start with the big "You'll not go to the Birthday Party!" because you know you're not going to follow through with it. Who wants to disappoint the Birthday boy or girl by having cancellations?

Just like the children getting numb to the word "no", they get numb to the saying "I'm gonna take away......".

I've posted before about how I feel about parents that have cranky children out at stores late at night. You want them to stay up late? Stay home with them and punish yourself! I'm shopping after watching 10-12 wee ones all day. I don't want to hear it!:lol: