PDA

View Full Version : My Babysitter Termed Me Because I Refused To Pay Her To Get Ready For A Friday Night


Unregistered
07-28-2011, 05:48 PM
I have been taking my 19-month-old son to a babysitter for 3 months now. I pay a weekly rate of $150 for a full time space which I really think should be cheaper seen as she is open from 6am 6pm and will only allow for my son to be there from 7:30am 4:30pm. There are several other kids still there when I pick my son up at 4:30pm, but apparently Im only allowed to use 9 hours in one day. I have let this slide, I will say, with little complaint on my part but I have gotten to the point where Im right pissed with the fact that she is using my hard earned money to get herself dolled up every Friday night. When I show up Friday morning she has her hair straighten and a light amount of make-up on, which I am glad she is professional enough to at least answer the door ready for the day. However, every Friday when I come to pick up my son she has her hair curled all up and complete make-up. Today she even had fake eyelashes on and re-painted her toenails. I just could not handle it anymore so I confronted her about it. I asked her when she has the time in her day to make herself look so good while she is watching my son and other kids, her response was during nap time. How is she able to properly supervise my child if she is off in the bathroom curling up her hair and gluing on fake lashes? What if my son was crying while she had wet paint on her toenails? I asked her all this, and she responded with if she needs to run she just runs, if anything gets ruined in the process she will start over. Ok? So how long exactly does this process take I ask. She responds with it depends on the day and what I feel like doing to pretty myself up. At which point I told her I no longer wanted her doing this while my son was in her care. She handed me my son and told me that she was giving me my two weeks notice and will have a letter for me tomorrow morning. When I protested she tried to shut the door on my face and my foot ended up getting smashed, which I had put on the landing because I was not done discussing things with her. I said a few things I should not of at that point due to the pain she had caused to my foot and her husband came out scolded me and told me to leave, which I did. I get home today and find an email from her saying that she could no longer accept my child into her care and is terming me because of harassment. She has a harassment equals no refund in her handbook, but I really do not think that I harassed her. So now my babysitter gets to keep two weeks of pay, Im out a sitter and she is going to continue painting herself up every Friday! What can I do to get my money back?

daycare
07-28-2011, 05:55 PM
I think I am going to see what others have to say to this post, as I am awaiting some interesting responses........

Cat Herder
07-28-2011, 06:00 PM
Was this your son's first Childcare Provider?

Unregistered
07-28-2011, 06:03 PM
No I had my son with another babysitter prior but she decided to go back to school a few months ago so could not longer take care of my son.

snbauser
07-28-2011, 06:07 PM
First - Did you sign a contract? If so, then you knew the rules regarding hours. Many providers limit the number of hours a child can be in care. You said that there are still many kids there when you pick up your child. How many of them are there when you drop off? They may be limited to the same 9 hours you are but drop their kids off later than you. Or they may have an agreement with the provider for extra hours. Whatever it is, it isn't your business if you signed a contract agreeing to what hours you are paying for.

Second - Not even sure where to start on the other issue.

daycare
07-28-2011, 06:09 PM
I have a question for you.... if you could keep your child from open to close daily would you?

CoachingForQualityImprovement
07-28-2011, 06:12 PM
Geez....it's Friday night there already? You must be in Australia or something. :D

melskids
07-28-2011, 06:14 PM
i'm going to leave most of this alone...for fear of popping a vein in my forehead....but i will leave you with this....

just because i am willing to care for children between the hours of 6 am and 6 pm, doesnt mean i want little johnny here for the whole 12 hours.

my 4:30 pickup knows my 6:00 pickup pays DEARLY for the extra hour and a half.

daycare
07-28-2011, 06:15 PM
i'm going to leave most of this alone...for fear of popping a vein in my forehead....but i will leave you with this....

just because i am willing to care for children between the hours of 6 am and 6 pm, doesnt mean i want little johnny here for the whole 12 hours.

my 4:30 pickup knows my 6:00 pickup pays DEARLY for the extra hour and a half.
I already got my hummus and carrots out....lol Yes I have no life.... this is all the entertainment I get...

sharlan
07-28-2011, 06:17 PM
Hmmmmmmmmm, I may be way off base, but do I smell a troll?

Crazy8
07-28-2011, 06:18 PM
ok, I'll bite..... :D

yes, the $3.33/hr. you are paying for child care is RIDICULOUS!!!! You should be thrilled she termed you at that highway robbery of a rate.

Just out of curiousity, have you ever done ANYTHING but watch your child sleep during his non-waking hours??? Why is it different for your child care provider. If she is in the house and can hear him if needed there is NO REASON why she can't curl her hair, add fake eyelashes, make dinner, throw some laundry in, etc. PULEEZ.

Kaddidle Care
07-28-2011, 06:20 PM
I pay a weekly rate of $150 for a full time space which I really think should be cheaper seen as she is open from 6am 6pm and will only allow for my son to be there from 7:30am 4:30pm.

7:30-4:30 = 9 hours x 5 days a week = 45 hours a week. Divide that $150.00 by 45 hours and you have $3.33 per hour. And you think it should be CHEAPER?

Do YOU work 9 hours straight without a break? I don't think so! She's probably working more than 12 hours a day as there is still cleaning and planning to do after the children go home. Putting on a bit of make up and/or painting her nails for a few moments while she sits back and takes a breather is what makes her happy.

Slam the door? You're lucky she didn't spit in your face. Best wishes with finding a new care giver. Make sure you find an ugly one next time.

(Sorry, I have PMS and your post got under my skin a bit. Jealous much?)

cheerfuldom
07-28-2011, 06:25 PM
oh geez...if this is a real person I am just going to say it. You acted like a jerk and I would have termed you too! If you didn't like the hours, rate or her activities during those hours, you should have handled it like an adult, discussed issues without getting snotty and ended the conversation in an adult manner. You don't own her. She's a regular person and if she wants to put on a little makeup and fix her hair while the kids are napping, that is certainly reasonable. I'm glad she termed you and hope you learned your lesson about how to treat your daycare provider with respect.

nannyde
07-28-2011, 06:27 PM
My advice is to do some research on child care providers before you hire the next one.

You are describing many aspects of the provider/parent contracts and relationships that cause a lot of problems in this line of work.

You aren't understanding the difference between the hours the service is open and the hours you are paying for within that service. I'm open twelve hours a day and none of my clients use more than nine hours of this time. If they wanted twelve hour days their day care rate would be MARKEDLY higher.

You are concerned about what she is doing at nap time because you feel she can't supervise him properly if she is doing make up. I can only ask if you have someone watching him sleep when he is in your care? If your child needs an adult to watch him sleep 24/7 then you must hire a provider that has him physically in the same room with her at all times.

You may believe that your 150 a week is enough money to allow you to be her employer but it is not. She is self employed and you don't get to decide in ANY way how she runs her business. You can only decide if the business she runs is suitable for YOUR child NOT what services she offers. She is her own boss and can decide for any reason that you aren't a suitable client. With your protesting today she decided you are not suitable. This was a GOOD decision because you aren't happy with what she has to offer. Consider this a blessing for you and your son.

If you feel she has taken money she doesn't deserve then feel free to file a small claims in court and sue her for it. Let the judge decide what is fair.

familyschoolcare
07-28-2011, 06:31 PM
At which point I told her I no longer wanted her doing this while my son was in her care.

If you want the privilege of telling your child care provider what she can and can not do while your child is in her care then, you have to pay for a nanny. Yes, this cost more. However, you will then be able to tell her what she can and can not do while your child is in her care.

Country Kids
07-28-2011, 06:37 PM
OK, I'm going to try and answer this. Before I do though-Nanny and I don't always see eye to eye but seriously at a time like this where is NANNY!!!!!:lol::lol::lol:


How long do you want your child in care? Is your child the first one there and if not are the children that are there at drop off time still there when you pick up? Many people do the 9 hour contracted time and please remember it is their business. Do you expect to pay less at the store because you may only be in there for 5 minutes to pick up something quickly or do you pay the same amount as the person that is in there for an hour? Your child is using 9 hours and you knew that going in. Are you working longer hours so it is making it hard on you to pick up your child? I can't imagine someone complaining because they feel they are being overcharged when their child is in childcare for 9 hours!

Now on to naptime. Are you wanting her to sit and stare at your child while he sleeps the 2-3 hours for naptime? If so, good luck in finding someone that is willing to do that. Most providers will read a book, clean house, do paperwork, fix snack/dinner, etc. They won't just sit there and stare at a child. She isn't ignoring your child, she even said she goes and takes care of whatever and if she has to start over she does. The fact that she is only doing it on Friday night (possibly her only date night with her hubby) doesn't alarm me. I know of several woman who get reready at naptime because they start so early they feel their makeup is totally gone by the afternoon and hair looks like small animals have run threw it.:D:D:D

What did your last provider do? Did she charge you hourly, weekly, monthly, or by the day? Was it less, the same or more?

For naptime did she start at your son or stay in the same area? Do you even know or do you just figure that is what she did.

I would chalk this up as a learning experience and go from there. When you interview your next childcare interview this thourghly, from top to bottom. It may take you weeks, months to find someone you really, really, like and agree with. Since you don't have time to do this though you will likely just find someone and still not be happy.

Cat Herder
07-28-2011, 06:49 PM
No I had my son with another babysitter prior but she decided to go back to school a few months ago so could not longer take care of my son.

Is it possible that you are comparing the two?

Why does it bother you so much that she is able to get ready in stages throughout her day on Fridays?

Is that really the main issue?

SilverSabre25
07-28-2011, 06:53 PM
OH my :lol: I can't say it better than it's been said. Ay carumba...

cheerfuldom
07-28-2011, 06:58 PM
OH my :lol: I can't say it better than it's been said. Ay carumba...

can we add an oy vey?

Country Kids
07-28-2011, 06:58 PM
I already got my hummus and carrots out....lol Yes I have no life.... this is all the entertainment I get...

I just love you daycare!!!!:D:D:D:D Well if this is your entertainment we better make it good for you.

I've just recently discovered hummus-yummy, yummy, yummy.:Sunny:

nannyde
07-28-2011, 06:59 PM
Geez....it's Friday night there already? You must be in Australia or something. :D

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

nannyde
07-28-2011, 07:01 PM
How long DOES it take to put on make up and get "dolled up"?

I don't wear make up... seriously how long does that take?

Meeko
07-28-2011, 07:03 PM
Hmmmmmmmmm, I may be way off base, but do I smell a troll?

I think it smells really strong.......

AnneCordelia
07-28-2011, 07:22 PM
I can straighten my hair and put on a full face of makeup in about 25 minutes. I can do my toes in 5 and then hobble around 'til they're dry.

sharlan
07-28-2011, 07:28 PM
I think it smells really strong.......

The "Friday" night was a beacon.

youretooloud
07-28-2011, 07:28 PM
I used to have parents like this, but now I screen them better.

nannyde
07-28-2011, 07:30 PM
I can straighten my hair and put on a full face of makeup in about 25 minutes. I can do my toes in 5 and then hobble around 'til they're dry.

I guess I'm lost on the parent begrudging the time to do it. I've never done "dolled up" makeup but back in the day when I was a nanny I had to wear it every day (and hated it). I don't remember it taking that long to do.

It seems weird to me.

SilverSabre25
07-28-2011, 07:42 PM
I just love you daycare!!!!:D:D:D:D Well if this is your entertainment we better make it good for you.

I've just recently discovered hummus-yummy, yummy, yummy.:Sunny:

or, hummy, hummy, hummy?

CoachingForQualityImprovement
07-28-2011, 07:43 PM
I get up in the a.m., shower, blow dry my hair, straighten it, put on make-up....all in 20 minutes. Granted, I have short hair and straightening takes a few seconds, but still.....this lady could have done her make-up, falsies and nails in that amount of time or less.

Good grief.....OP, what, pray tell, do you think your provider should be mandated to do during naptime? Please, do share.......if you come back :ouch:

SilverSabre25
07-28-2011, 07:43 PM
I guess I'm lost on the parent begrudging the time to do it. I've never done "dolled up" makeup but back in the day when I was a nanny I had to wear it every day (and hated it). I don't remember it taking that long to do.

It seems weird to me.

May I ask why you *had* to? I'm honestly curious.

afmama
07-28-2011, 07:54 PM
I'm lost on the "troll" term? I guess I'm not on forums enough...what does that mean?

I agree with all the rest...what exactly would you like for us to do? However here, children napping are always within sight. So I may leave the room for a min. or 2 to do laundry or pee. But I don't leave them out of sight to do make-up.....which at the minimum takes like 10-15 min.

Kaddidle Care
07-28-2011, 07:57 PM
I'm lost on the "troll" term? I guess I'm not on forums enough...what does that mean?



Warning... video is PG-13 or thereabouts: (slightly off topic.. well... really off topic except for the Troll part)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DIyr5TXqe8Y

SilverSabre25
07-28-2011, 07:59 PM
I'm lost on the "troll" term? I guess I'm not on forums enough...what does that mean?

I agree with all the rest...what exactly would you like for us to do? However here, children napping are always within sight. So I may leave the room for a min. or 2 to do laundry or pee. But I don't leave them out of sight to do make-up.....which at the minimum takes like 10-15 min.

A troll is someone who's posting something inflammatory, trying to stir people up and get a big emotional response.

nannyde
07-28-2011, 07:59 PM
May I ask why you *had* to? I'm honestly curious.

worked for VERY VERY wealthy people who wanted perfectly dressed and manicured nanny. They even paid for my manicures.

:):):):)

They were sweet folks... they just took me everywhere they went and went from one fancy thing to another. They wouldn't want me to look out of place. It wasn't mean........... just part of the job. I didn't hate putting it on so much .... it was just time... I hated WEARING it. Too slimy for me.

SilverSabre25
07-28-2011, 08:02 PM
worked for VERY VERY wealthy people who wanted perfectly dressed and manicured nanny. They even paid for my manicures.

:):):):)

They were sweet folks... they just took me everywhere they went and went from one fancy thing to another. They wouldn't want me to look out of place. It wasn't mean........... just part of the job.

Ah, gotcha. Sounds like a nice cushy job! Must have been a very, very interesting experience, getting to see how that "other half" does things. I didn't expect it was mean, I figured it was part of the job. Just wondered about the rationale behind it. :Sunny: And I totally agree with you on the slimy thing. I don't wear make-up, I hate it, and I hate how it feels on my face. I can't remember the last time I wore the stuff.

afmama
07-28-2011, 08:15 PM
Oh myyyy that was funny!! and very informative video! Don't feed the troll! And hopefully this doesn't resort to anybody referencing Hitler! Come on ladies!;)

Kaddidle Care
07-28-2011, 08:20 PM
Yeah, I agree LOL! :lol:

I like the High Post Count Crown.

The Brit humor is a bit rough here and there - like that teapot thing. EEK!

Meeko
07-28-2011, 08:34 PM
Don't feed the trolls!!

juliebug
07-28-2011, 08:46 PM
Warning... video is PG-13 or thereabouts: (slightly off topic.. well... really off topic except for the Troll part)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DIyr5TXqe8Y

That is great thanks for posting it!

Cat Herder
07-28-2011, 08:53 PM
The Brit humor is a bit rough here and there - like that teapot thing. EEK!

I thought it was a great video...too funny. :lol::lol:

"Brit humor"?? Maybe I am too "Southern" but I don't understand the reference....:confused:

I love my teapot...it was my Grandmothers...:o It came with a full set of cups for the guests I never invite over....

Live and Learn
07-28-2011, 08:59 PM
I have gotten to the point where I’m right pissed with the fact that she is using my hard earned money to get herself dolled up every Friday night.

YOUR hard earned money?:lol:

Now that money is HER hard earned money!:lol:

:cool:Is she wants to spend HER hard earned money on a ton of skittles and roll around in them N A K E D in her living room after her last pickup on a Friday night it is none of your bees wax.:cool:

familyschoolcare
07-28-2011, 09:09 PM
YOUR hard earned money?:lol:

Now that money is HER hard earned money!:lol:

:cool:Is she wants to spend HER hard earned money on a ton of skittles and roll around in them N A K E D in her living room after her last pickup on a Friday night it is none of your bees wax.:cool:

Great now I want skittles. But I would eat them not roll around in them naked although I could I am the only one home.

PitterPatter
07-28-2011, 09:48 PM
When I show up Friday morning she has her hair straighten and a light amount of make-up on, which I am glad she is professional enough to at least answer the door ready for the day. However, every Friday when I come to pick up my son she has her hair curled all up and complete make-up. Today she even had fake eyelashes on and re-painted her toenails.

I said a few things I should not of at that point due to the pain she had caused to my foot and her husband came out scolded me and told me to leave, which I did. I get home today and find an email from her saying that she could no longer accept my child into her care and is terming me because of harassment. She has a harassment equals no refund in her handbook, but I really do not think that I harassed her. So now my babysitter gets to keep two weeks of pay, Im out a sitter and she is going to continue painting herself up every Friday! What can I do to get my money back?

OK here's MY own opinion take it or leave it. 1st of all I kinda take offense to the 1st section where u state she has her hair straight and makeup on and u are glad to see she is professional enought to answer the door ready for the day. Does that mean those of us who do not take the time to wear makeup or do anything special to our hair, aren't professional enough?

As for her taking time to get all dolled up how do u know the DH or someone else wasn't watching the children? I don't have to make excuses for her but just curious since DH was there as well. I too use nap time for my restroom break and log in here, do paperwork or wash dishes. The kids are right around the corner from the kitchen for the record. I have ears as does she. She said she would run if she had to right? sooo?

Last I don't know what it is that u said that u shouldn't have but that may be where she is accusing u of harrassment. I too was barked at a few times and utterly told off by a client. Guess where she is now? NOT here! Bye bye for her! Now if u were being kind and just trying to discuss things and she slammed your foot in the door etc and kept your money then that may be something u could battle in court. I say think back to what exactly was said because even in my case the client came crawling back with aplogies 3 weeks later begging to take her back. Things get said in the heated discussion. I would make sure my ducks are in a row before taking this further.

Again just MY opinion.

BusyBee
07-28-2011, 10:13 PM
I have been taking my 19-month-old son to a babysitter for 3 months now. I pay a weekly rate of $150 for a full time space which I really think should be cheaper seen as she is open from 6am 6pm and will only allow for my son to be there from 7:30am 4:30pm. There are several other kids still there when I pick my son up at 4:30pm, but apparently Im only allowed to use 9 hours in one day. I have let this slide, I will say, with little complaint on my part but I have gotten to the point where Im right pissed with the fact that she is using my hard earned money to get herself dolled up every Friday night. When I show up Friday morning she has her hair straighten and a light amount of make-up on, which I am glad she is professional enough to at least answer the door ready for the day. However, every Friday when I come to pick up my son she has her hair curled all up and complete make-up. Today she even had fake eyelashes on and re-painted her toenails. I just could not handle it anymore so I confronted her about it. I asked her when she has the time in her day to make herself look so good while she is watching my son and other kids, her response was during nap time. How is she able to properly supervise my child if she is off in the bathroom curling up her hair and gluing on fake lashes? What if my son was crying while she had wet paint on her toenails? I asked her all this, and she responded with if she needs to run she just runs, if anything gets ruined in the process she will start over. Ok? So how long exactly does this process take I ask. She responds with it depends on the day and what I feel like doing to pretty myself up. At which point I told her I no longer wanted her doing this while my son was in her care. She handed me my son and told me that she was giving me my two weeks notice and will have a letter for me tomorrow morning. When I protested she tried to shut the door on my face and my foot ended up getting smashed, which I had put on the landing because I was not done discussing things with her. I said a few things I should not of at that point due to the pain she had caused to my foot and her husband came out scolded me and told me to leave, which I did. I get home today and find an email from her saying that she could no longer accept my child into her care and is terming me because of harassment. She has a harassment equals no refund in her handbook, but I really do not think that I harassed her. So now my babysitter gets to keep two weeks of pay, Im out a sitter and she is going to continue painting herself up every Friday! What can I do to get my money back?

Troll or not, this was so funny. Whose hard earned money. hahahahahaha

And... as long as she is still providing proper supervision she can do what she d#$% well wants at nap time. I go on the computer, do yoga, and *gasp* have even curled my hair and put on makeup for an eveing plan.

Get over yourself.

sharlan
07-28-2011, 10:16 PM
IF, and I say IF, this is real, it sounds like somebody is jealous.

daycare
07-28-2011, 11:25 PM
7:30-4:30 = 9 hours x 5 days a week = 45 hours a week. Divide that $150.00 by 45 hours and you have $3.33 per hour. And you think it should be CHEAPER?

Do YOU work 9 hours straight without a break? I don't think so! She's probably working more than 12 hours a day as there is still cleaning and planning to do after the children go home. Putting on a bit of make up and/or painting her nails for a few moments while she sits back and takes a breather is what makes her happy.

Slam the door? You're lucky she didn't spit in your face. Best wishes with finding a new care giver. Make sure you find an ugly one next time.

(Sorry, I have PMS and your post got under my skin a bit. Jealous much?)
I just feel off my stool................sorry I should not laugh at this.

Ok so to the one who posted.

In an in home daycare it is very common that a provider usually works alone from the time she/he is open to close. Which is why providers often work off of set hours, such as yours. Unlike a center that has several employees to help out with children and give breaks, at a home daycare there is no one to do this.

Your rate that you are paying sounds very normal and fair, if you were to sit down and figure it out it comes out to about $3. and some change. Now this is before paying taxes on it, over head for food, supplies, damages to the home and etc. Now after all that your provider is making about $1. and some change for each child in her care per hour. Good care is hard to come by and you should really never put a price on it... After all, MOST of the time you get what you pay for.
It really sounds like a center might be what you are comparing your provider to, as all of the things she is doing sound very normal to a day in the life of a provider, but would never go on at a center.

I know that most of us providers take advantage of getting any form of a break in the 12 hour plus days that we provide care. Some of us are lucky to have a break at all. Sounds like your provider is doing something right because she is able to get all of the kids to sleep as a group for a set period of time.

As for her putting on her makeup and what not, this is also normal. We as providers don't sit there and stare at the children as they sleep. What we do is we tuck them in, make them feel safe, turn off the lights and wish them sweet dreams. Then we go about having some time out of our 12 hour plus days for ourselves. Imagine working 12 hour days and having NO time to even pee. Well this is what naps are for...No, not to just go pee, but to spend a little time rejuvenating ourselves, eating lunch, playing on the internet, painting our toe nails and whatever makes us feel good. , so when the day care kids wake, we are able to keep up and be in the best of moods. They got to rest, we need our rest too. Of course during this time, we often wash dishes, clean up day care kids messes and tons of other necessary things to assure that the day care operations are running smoothly. About every 15 minutes or so, we check on the kids. We are always within ear shot of them, but never on top of them watching them sleep.

I think it would be in your best interest to go check out a center. It sounds like you just are not comfortable with a home daycare setting.

As for the other things that happened, I think that even you could agree that you should have handled it differently. I think that it was in the providers best interest to term care for your family. Sorry, I would not offer my services if someone treated me s you treated your provider. I am sure you would not want to work with someone like that either....
I hope that you and your child are able to find a place that better suits what you are looking for.
Good luck

daycare
07-28-2011, 11:27 PM
I just love you daycare!!!!:D:D:D:D Well if this is your entertainment we better make it good for you.

I've just recently discovered hummus-yummy, yummy, yummy.:Sunny:
lol darn.... I got pulled away!! But it's all right here in balck and white so I get to read away...

Yeah, I have no life.....lol so sad but true

Unregistered
07-28-2011, 11:43 PM
I have to. The OP's post was wrong on so many levels that I just have to respond.

First off, where does the OP get off expecting the "babysitter" to look professional at drop off while not treating her like a professional?

Is OP the only person who has to spend their hard earned money to pay for daycare service? Nope. OP, if you are reading this now (but you're probably a troll, so you'll probably not come back), please read this very carefully and know that it's coming from the heart and I sincerely mean it. You're not entitled to anything more than what you pay for no matter how hard you work to earn your money. You aren't special. You're money isn't any more valuable than any other client's money. Do you think that you work just so much harder than anyone else and that you should be given a break in daycare cost? Well guess what? You don't. If you don't like the price, then just go find a cheaper place. How is that your "babysitter"'s problem? If you don't like the price, find somewhere else to go.

I want you to know that the provider let you off easy by only shutting your foot in the door. You got lucky. You had no right to try to stop her from shutting the door in the first place. You put your foot in the door, she didn't make you do it. What happened is your fault, not hers. If you're going to pull a bonehead move like that, then be prepared for things like that to happen. If you're going to be dumb, you gotta be tough. You don't get to complain about how bad your foot hurts and how she was in the wrong. She wanted to end the conversation and you decided that since you weren't done with her, that she didn't get to end the conversation. Are you just so used to getting your way by being completely aggressive and bossy that when you don't get what you want, you try to force people to give you what you want? She didn't assault you. You assaulted her! It is HER house, not yours. You are NOT her boss, no matter how much you believe that you should be because of how much you have to pay for services.

Have you ever heard of contracted hours? That means that you only have your child there during the time that you are working. She may be open from 6-6 but that doesn't mean that she wants kids there from open to close. Besides, if you leave your child in daycare from open to close everyday when you aren't working, then you should be taking a long hard look in the mirror and get yourself together before you criticize your "babysitter" for wanting to have a life outside of her job. Do you want to leave your kid there from 6am-6pm? Is that how you want it? If that's the case, then I have to ask: What kind of relationship do you think that you'll have with your child? You'll be a stranger and the sad thing is that you'll choose it and then get mad if your child prefers the provider to you. You've already established in your original post what your work hours are so if you are complaining about not being able to leave your kid there until close, then you've already made it perfectly clear that spending time with your child isn't your top priority. I'd say that I hope that you'll realize how precious that time is, but I don't think you do now and probably never will. You just want to get your money's worth. Your post makes you seem like a disgrace as a parent and as a person in general. That pretty much sums it up. You're a disgrace.

You'd better learn how to deal with people in a more civil manner. You'll stick your foot in the wrong person's door one day and you may find yourself with more than a sore foot. She had every right to defend herself against you and she could have decided to give you a beat down because of your extremely aggressive behavior but she didn't. I'll bet it was because she's the professional one.

You are everything that is wrong with humanity, OP. You are the lowest common denominator. I may seem pretty mean based on this post, but this post comes from a good place. It comes from a place of having the backs of the providers who are faced with the kind on garbage that you pulled and just firing back. I'm not going to apologize for my rudeness to you, OP. You deserve every rude remark that I made and then some.

You need to grow up and realize that you don't always get what you want.

Unregistered
07-29-2011, 12:04 AM
OP, I'm going to make this short and sweet. I wrote a response and it disappeared so I'm going to paraphrase.

* You are admitting that you value your money more than you value more time with your child. Nice. That's real nice.

* You got lucky that all that you got when you tried to stop the provider from shutting the door was a sore foot. She had every right to get you out of her house and you had no right to try to stop her. Be glad that you had a provider who was able to keep her cool when you were too busy acting like a psycho. I know that if a daycare parent pulled a stunt like that at my house, I would really be tempted to ask you if you'd like to settle it outside, but you know what? I wouldn't do that because that's not how I roll. I'd want to do it but I wouldn't because I know how to be a professional.

* What concern is it of yours if a provider chooses to wear make-up or not? You had better come up with some legit concerns before you come over here posting your nonsense.

* Most importantly, I want you to know that I am speaking from the heart when I say these things. I'm being totally sincere and honest when I say this. You are a sad excuse for a human being. You don't seem to have any regard for anyone other than yourself. You're pathetic and sad. You just seem like a bully who still doesn't get it that one day someone will put you in your place. You are the lowest common denominator.

Meyou
07-29-2011, 06:00 AM
The rare time I go out on a work night I always get ready at naptime other than getting dressed. I've never thought anything of it and the parents usually give me an "Ooooo! Where are you going all dolled up? Don't get in too much trouble!"

If I want to straighten my hair after I do the dishes, prepare afternoon snack, run a load of laundry, fold another load, do my paperwork and tidy the house then that's none of anyone's business.

I also paint my toenails regularly at work. Of course I have a line of little girls and sometimes boys waiting for their turn but I don't mind. lol I'm also prepared to run and wreck them if I need to and then start over. Heck, I redo them have the time because I just forget their wet! :lol:

SimpleMom
07-29-2011, 06:48 AM
I think I am going to see what others have to say to this post, as I am awaiting some interesting responses........

:) lol I'm with you here!

MyAngels
07-29-2011, 06:54 AM
7:30-4:30 = 9 hours x 5 days a week = 45 hours a week. Divide that $150.00 by 45 hours and you have $3.33 per hour. And you think it should be CHEAPER?

Do YOU work 9 hours straight without a break? I don't think so! She's probably working more than 12 hours a day as there is still cleaning and planning to do after the children go home. Putting on a bit of make up and/or painting her nails for a few moments while she sits back and takes a breather is what makes her happy.

Slam the door? You're lucky she didn't spit in your face. Best wishes with finding a new care giver. Make sure you find an ugly one next time.(Sorry, I have PMS and your post got under my skin a bit. Jealous much?)

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: - Thanks for starting my Friday off with a laugh!

To the OP...

On second thought - nope - not gonna go there :lol:!

Unregistered
07-29-2011, 08:19 AM
To the OP:
I can understand where you are coming from. Daycare's open hours can be confusing for parents. I would recommend you use a national chain center or locally owned center - they will allow you to keep your child in there as long as you want or need to. This is one of the reasons our family chose a center. I cannot use a provider that makes my family use set hours for pick up (drop off set hours are not a problem). My schedule varies each day according to my work load and I can't imagine how parents use any daycare who has set pick up hours. Everyone I know could never do that because their work hours vary daily with the work load. Sometimes, we get off at our scheduled work end, but most days, we all have to work late to finish the work. I would recommend you find another provider that can better suit your family's needs. In my area, the home based are the same price as centers and the centers offer much more amenities.

Your issue with the hair curling, toe nail painting is one of the many reasons our family chose a center. I too take issue with providers not being within both sight and sound of my child and I think it's reasonable to request this. Home based daycares have different requirements than centers. Licensed centers are not allowed to be outside of both sight and sound of the children, even during nap time. I suggest that you move to a center. Center workers aren't curling their hair during nap time since under licensing, a curling iron would be dangerous to the children. I think your provider was very unprofessional when she termed you because you didn't agree with what she was doing during nap time. She should have asked you at the interview if you will have a problem with her spending 20-90 minutes getting herself ready to go out on Fridays since it's important enough to term a family over. Being that you are new to daycare, you wouldn't even have imagined that this would be allowed so I won't fault you for that.

Here's what I do take issue with your now ex provider - the way she reacted to you. She was unprofessional by slamming the door on you and for terming you without much discussion or thought on it and then accusing you of harrassment. The definition of harrassment according to Meriam-Webster: 1a : exhaust, fatigue b (1) : to annoy persistently (2) : to create an unpleasant or hostile situation for especially by uninvited and unwelcome verbal or physical conduct 2: to worry and impede by repeated raids So she's using definition (2) to her advantage. You'll be better off with someone else. I firmly believe that children shouldn't be in the care of providers who make rash large decisions like that because odds are they will make many other rash decisions. While this is her business, you want a provider who is willing to work with you, not term you when you don't agree with her.

I highly recommend you read all the threads on here that the home based have posted - you'll get an excellent inside view of how they think - there hasn't been a case yet where the majority hasn't told them to term a parent for not agreeing with their policies, no matter how blatantly wrong the provider was. (for example, find the recent thread on provider's child biting customer's kids)

Lastly, please check youself when addressing any issue with the provider. You probably said some really dandies to her that day and now you're out a provider. It's never ok to get into a verbal arguement with a provider no matter the issue. I think your relationship was a poor match to begin with, so chaulk it up to live and learn. Next time, you're better off finding another provider and giving your 2 week notice when you don't agree with or question something she's doing. Odds are, if you think it's off, it probably is and your opinion probably won't change her way of doing it and if you voice your concerns, the next provider will term you as well.

JenNJ
07-29-2011, 08:50 AM
To the OP:


Your issue with the hair curling, toe nail painting is one of the many reasons our family chose a center. I too take issue with providers not being within both sight and sound of my child and I think it's reasonable to request this. Home based daycares have different requirements than centers. Licensed centers are not allowed to be outside of both sight and sound of the children, even during nap time. I suggest that you move to a center. Center workers aren't curling their hair during nap time since under licensing, a curling iron would be dangerous to the children. I think your provider was very unprofessional when she termed you because you didn't agree with what she was doing during nap time. She should have asked you at the interview if you will have a problem with her spending 20-90 minutes getting herself ready to go out on Fridays since it's important enough to term a family over. Being that you are new to daycare, you wouldn't even have imagined that this would be allowed so I won't fault you for that.

Here's what I do take issue with your now ex provider - the way she reacted to you. She was unprofessional by slamming the door on you and for terming you without much discussion or thought on it and then accusing you of harrassment. The definition of harrassment according to Meriam-Webster: 1a : exhaust, fatigue b (1) : to annoy persistently (2) : to create an unpleasant or hostile situation for especially by uninvited and unwelcome verbal or physical conduct 2: to worry and impede by repeated raids So she's using definition (2) to her advantage. You'll be better off with someone else. I firmly believe that children shouldn't be in the care of providers who make rash large decisions like that because odds are they will make many other rash decisions. While this is her business, you want a provider who is willing to work with you, not term you when you don't agree with her.

I highly recommend you read all the threads on here that the home based have posted - you'll get an excellent inside view of how they think - there hasn't been a case yet where the majority hasn't told them to term a parent for not agreeing with their policies, no matter how blatantly wrong the provider was. (for example, find the recent thread on provider's child biting customer's kids)

Lastly, please check youself when addressing any issue with the provider. You probably said some really dandies to her that day and now you're out a provider. It's never ok to get into a verbal arguement with a provider no matter the issue. I think your relationship was a poor match to begin with, so chaulk it up to live and learn. Next time, you're better off finding another provider and giving your 2 week notice when you don't agree with or question something she's doing. Odds are, if you think it's off, it probably is and your opinion probably won't change her way of doing it and if you voice your concerns, the next provider will term you as well.

OP: If you don't like how a person runs their business, do not use that business anymore.

Unregistered who I quoted: The OP was unprofessional. Bringing up a care issue at pick up, in front of kids is VERY unprofessional. She should have called the provider after hours or set up a meeting for a later time. She said she was angry with her provider and this had clearly been brewing for a while. This leads me to believe she blew up at her provider in front of the kids. NOT OK EVER.
So yes, she was harassing the provider. After the provider asked her to leave, and she did not -- she became an intruder and we all know that homeowners can protect themselves and their property from intruders.

And while centers do have different regs, does NOT mean that they are followed. I have seen over 20 children sleeping alone in a classroom with all doors shut and when a parent pulled into the parking lot, the teachers ran into their rooms. (and FYI -- I quit that day and called the state on each and every member of the staff present) I would rather have my child in a home environment where the provider is much like any mother during her child's nap -- present, attentive, and aware but not hovering.
Moral of that story -- follow your gut, not what promises they use to reel you in.

Lastly, please do not lump all home providers into a group. We are not all the same. As a mother, I am appalled at some of the "techniques" used by members of this board. There are good and bad providers. Some just do things differently. In the end, it works out to matching your child's needs with a provider who is happy to accommodate those needs.

Unregistered
07-29-2011, 09:04 AM
Never confront your provider in front of your child. If you can resolve a conflict, the confrontation will still leave a scar on the credibility of the situation in your child's eyes.

Getting all dolled up for Friday night is not a part of the daycare job in my eyes, but I know that there are totally people who do it. I had a sitter when I was little who did it every night. We all sat in the basement and watched tv the whole time. Her kids too.

Its a cultural thing. Find a situation that you ARE comfortable with.

Some providers term any parent who expresses any concern, immediately. Shutting the door in your face is rude and unprofessional. Shutting the door on your foot verges on assault. The fact that you were having a parent conference about concerns in the doorstep is a really bad sign. Ask for a full refund considering your concerns that your son was neglected during non-care activities or possibly in the care of another, assault, an inability to discuss your concerns in a professional manner and terming without notice. Go on and make a report to licensing and file a complaint for assault about the foot. If she is willing to meet you in court on all of these concerns, cool. Otherwise, expect the check and know that she will be being watched from here on out.

BabyMomma
07-29-2011, 09:06 AM
Did the OP return to comment? LOL!!

wdmmom
07-29-2011, 09:10 AM
The day a parent tells me what I can and can't do during naptime is the day they will find the door slammed in their face (or in your case, foot)!

Sorry but you had it coming to you!

I do my hair, put on make-up, mop the floors, catch me some Maury Show, or whatever comes to mind during naptime and I'm going to continue doing it day after day!

All the kids are under video & audio surveillance during naptime. If one of the littles wakes up, moves, shuffles, etc, I see and hear all. I have a 7 inch monitor I take into the bathroom while I'm straightening my hair!

Do you breathe over your child while he's napping, I think not! And if you are requiring that type of care, you need to see a nanny, not a group setting!

As for the money...the way I see it is this: You would have to provide a 2 week notice to terminate anyway. Whether you gave notice or she did, you're still responsible for it. I specifically tell parents that if they can't give me the 4 weeks notice I require, I will accept wages in lieu of time. She did the same thing.

It is what it is!

I work 11 hours a day and I have a 9.5 hour day max. The people that pick up at or before 430pm get a cheaper rate. Those that require me to work right down to the second of 530pm pay a much higher rate.

Your hard earned money goes into your child receiving care. What your provider does with HER hard earned money...who cares! She could be spending it each weekend at the bar or casino and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it!

You really need to get over yourself!

SimpleMom
07-29-2011, 09:11 AM
Great now I want skittles. But I would eat them not roll around in them naked although I could I am the only one home.

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

kimsdaycare
07-29-2011, 09:16 AM
Wasn't gonna touch this. Can't help myself.

1) You dislike the 9 hour rule. OK, so you need longer hours. A center will and can accomodate this - for a higher tuition cost. This provider bases rates on the theory that parents are using just 9 hours. She is going out of her way and actually working more than twelve as a courtesy to those that don't need the same exact 9 hours. Quite nice of her to burn herself out for your convenience isn't it though? Hardly selfish, unfair or greedy in any way. Centers have a higher fee and additional staff so that this burden doesnt fall on any one person entirely. Breaks are taken at determined intervals based on workers laws and employees are scheduled a standard work week of hours. All of this additional staffing comes at a cost though, which is passed along in the rates they charge. You aren't getting all that flexibility in a home daycare, but you aren't getting staff turnover either. Your provider is the one you know and trust for the entire relationship. I'm not anti-center, it's just something to consider in your choice of care. You can't have both in most situations.

2) You dislike her primping during naptime. OK, so she spends her break dolling herself up. Yes. Naptime IS her breaktime. In a center they may have people sitting in the room staring at sleeping babies. But somehow I dont get the feeling that you would be any happier is she applied her false eyelashes and curled her hair in the same room they sleep in. You dislike that she even had an opportunity to do so on "your" dime. Each employee in a center or other outside of the home work environment has the opportunity to take their breaks however they wish and have a shorter day to boot. We are lucky to get ONE break in the hours we make ourselves available to families. ONE. If. we. are. lucky. I applaud her for taking this time for her, so many of us spend the entire time on daycare stuff that we never refresh for the next round. Most employees do personal things on break, I'm sure you do! When my children were in daycare I could care less what my provider did while they slept, so long as she was available to them in the same way a parent is at home and not outside mowing the lawn or taking a shower. But in the bathroom freshening up? Non issue for me. I wasn't paying center fees and she wasn't my nanny, her happiness and sanity went further in the wonderful care she provided my kids than me micromanaging her every minute because I felt like it was my right. I would have never even considered treating her that way. I'm sure she would have shown me the door if I did.

3) Never put your foot in the door of someone trying to get you to leave their home. What were you thinking? Oh thats right, you weren't. You were too busy telling her how it is and showing her whos boss. Newsflash, That is forceful entry and would have been resulted in a call to 9-1-1 had it happened here. Seriously, no business establishment would tolerate that from a client. How would you react if someone did that to you in your home? It's a physical threat and not to be taken lightly, especially in an environment where small children are present. Shame on you.

wdmmom
07-29-2011, 09:21 AM
Oh...and one other thing...

How do you know she's not primping and prepping because she has a 2nd job?!

I'm sure your $3.33 an hour isn't exactly cutting it!:lol::lol::lol:

MommyMuffin
07-29-2011, 09:27 AM
i already got my hummus and carrots out....lol yes i have no life.... This is all the entertainment i get...

ditto!!! minus the hummus! I've got Diet Mt. Dew

nannyde
07-29-2011, 09:34 AM
To the OP:
I can understand where you are coming from. Daycare's open hours can be confusing for parents. I would recommend you use a national chain center or locally owned center - they will allow you to keep your child in there as long as you want or need to. This is one of the reasons our family chose a center. I cannot use a provider that makes my family use set hours for pick up (drop off set hours are not a problem). My schedule varies each day according to my work load and I can't imagine how parents use any daycare who has set pick up hours. Everyone I know could never do that because their work hours vary daily with the work load. Sometimes, we get off at our scheduled work end, but most days, we all have to work late to finish the work. I would recommend you find another provider that can better suit your family's needs. In my area, the home based are the same price as centers and the centers offer much more amenities.

Your issue with the hair curling, toe nail painting is one of the many reasons our family chose a center. I too take issue with providers not being within both sight and sound of my child and I think it's reasonable to request this. Home based daycares have different requirements than centers. Licensed centers are not allowed to be outside of both sight and sound of the children, even during nap time. I suggest that you move to a center. Center workers aren't curling their hair during nap time since under licensing, a curling iron would be dangerous to the children. I think your provider was very unprofessional when she termed you because you didn't agree with what she was doing during nap time. She should have asked you at the interview if you will have a problem with her spending 20-90 minutes getting herself ready to go out on Fridays since it's important enough to term a family over. Being that you are new to daycare, you wouldn't even have imagined that this would be allowed so I won't fault you for that.

Here's what I do take issue with your now ex provider - the way she reacted to you. She was unprofessional by slamming the door on you and for terming you without much discussion or thought on it and then accusing you of harrassment. The definition of harrassment according to Meriam-Webster: 1a : exhaust, fatigue b (1) : to annoy persistently (2) : to create an unpleasant or hostile situation for especially by uninvited and unwelcome verbal or physical conduct 2: to worry and impede by repeated raids So she's using definition (2) to her advantage. You'll be better off with someone else. I firmly believe that children shouldn't be in the care of providers who make rash large decisions like that because odds are they will make many other rash decisions. While this is her business, you want a provider who is willing to work with you, not term you when you don't agree with her.

I highly recommend you read all the threads on here that the home based have posted - you'll get an excellent inside view of how they think - there hasn't been a case yet where the majority hasn't told them to term a parent for not agreeing with their policies, no matter how blatantly wrong the provider was. (for example, find the recent thread on provider's child biting customer's kids)

Lastly, please check youself when addressing any issue with the provider. You probably said some really dandies to her that day and now you're out a provider. It's never ok to get into a verbal arguement with a provider no matter the issue. I think your relationship was a poor match to begin with, so chaulk it up to live and learn. Next time, you're better off finding another provider and giving your 2 week notice when you don't agree with or question something she's doing. Odds are, if you think it's off, it probably is and your opinion probably won't change her way of doing it and if you voice your concerns, the next provider will term you as well.

Daycare's open hours can be confusing for parents. I would recommend you use a national chain center or locally owned center - they will allow you to keep your child in there as long as you want or need to

Nah it's not confusing. It's really simple. The parents WANT it another way but understanding how it is isn't that hard.

The Centers may accept kids "as long as you want" to have them there but remember that the workers there are switched out during the day AND the kids who are there for "as long as the parent wants" are VERY VERY hard to take care of. The turnover rate of staff in centers is THROUGH the roof. This is one of the main reasons. Kids who are in daycare for as long as the parent "wants".

In my area, the home based are the same price as centers and the centers offer much more amenities.

I don't think that's very common. The centers here are twice as much on my side of town as the average provider and about fifty percent higher on the wealthier side of town. They cost more BECAUSE they offer more hours.

Here you PAY for the "amenities". It's a very very rare provider in my area that can bring in what the centers bring in. You have to REALLY know what you are doing and offer special special to even come close.

She should have asked you at the interview if you will have a problem with her spending 20-90 minutes getting herself ready to go out on Fridays since it's important enough to term a family over

90 minutes? Seriously? Who takes 90 minutes to get dolled up? Seriously?

jen
07-29-2011, 09:37 AM
Its a cultural thing. Find a situation that you ARE comfortable with.



Oh please, do explain how this is a "cultural thing." Truly, I can't WAIT to hear this. I'm begging, really...

MamaBear
07-29-2011, 09:39 AM
Wow... This post makes me shudder in disbelief! :eek:

FIRST: If she is a Daycare Provider - She is NOT a babysitter

SECOND: Just because she is open 6am-6pm does not mean that you have to leave your child there that entire time!!! Go to a center if you feel the need to leave your child all day long and get your pennies worth.

THIRD: Children do take naps! Which is the time when us Daycare Providers get a break. So if she is able to stand nearby where the kids are napping & do her hair - than more power to her! I clean, mop, wash dishes, do laundry and whatever else I can get done while my kids are napping.

FOURTH: I commend your Daycare Provider for terminating you! Any client who questions how I run my daycare the way you did - is gonezo in my book.

cheerfuldom
07-29-2011, 09:41 AM
my question is why is the OP appreciative of the provider doing the hair and makeup and answering the door in a "professional" manner but if she does a touch up during nap time, its not okay? even if she takes 90 minutes (which I seriously doubt) why is that a problem if the kids are napping and she is readily available for them should they need her? what was it you thought she was doing during nap time?

MommyMuffin
07-29-2011, 09:44 AM
Maybe this is because I love to get dressed up but when I do I make it a process!! probably 90 minutes long
...first a relaxing bath and some magazines, then I turn on my fav music and take my time shaving, moisturize and then use lots of different hair products and possibly try a new hair style. Try a new makeup trend....whatever I want...just super girly time.

I would never get "dolled" up with kids here because I make it such a long and fun relaxing process. But I would do my nails or put on some makeup during nap time.

daycare
07-29-2011, 09:51 AM
Wow... This post makes me shudder in disbelief! :eek:

FIRST: If she is a Daycare Provider - She is NOT a babysitter

SECOND: Just because she is open 6am-6pm does not mean that you have to leave your child there that entire time!!! Go to a center if you feel the need to leave your child all day long and get your pennies worth.

THIRD: Children do take naps! Which is the time when us Daycare Providers get a break. So if she is able to stand nearby where the kids are napping & do her hair - than more power to her! I clean, mop, wash dishes, do laundry and whatever else I can get done while my kids are napping.

FOURTH: I commend your Daycare Provider for terminating you! Any client who questions how I run my daycare the way you did - is gonezo in my book.
I am still enjoying a good laugh at all of our post. The best part is that the person more than likely will never return. But we all get to punch at it like a serious carido boxing class.
Goes to show why it is sooo important for us providers to explain our policies and procedures to parents when they sign up. I know that there are some people that are just way out in left field and nothing we could do to prepare them....lol I am trying to be nice here....

Mamabear what is gonezo? you said gonezo in my book?? What does that mean??

Sugar Magnolia
07-29-2011, 11:46 AM
How long DOES it take to put on make up and get "dolled up"?

I don't wear make up... seriously how long does that take?

Lol!!!!! :lol: I don't wear clown paint, errr I mean make-up either. I spend 5 mins brushing teeth, hair and putting on deodorant! DONE! But one parent I have here says she gets up at 4 am to do hair and make-up. (That would be pink-dress boy's mom!) :lol:

nannyde
07-29-2011, 11:50 AM
Lol!!!!! :lol: I don't wear clown paint, errr I mean make-up either. I spend 5 mins brushing teeth, hair and putting on deodorant! DONE! But one parent I have here says she gets up at 4 am to do hair and make-up. (That would be pink-dress boy's mom!) :lol:

I've been around a while and I haven't heard the parent complaint of putting on makeup yet.
You are never safe from surprise ;)

I can't believe a parent would be upset about someone putting on makeup for cryin out loud... sheesh. :confused::confused::confused::confused: Can't a girl do a little something to make herself feel GOOD about herself?


It takes me longer to watch an episode of Dr. Phil I'm sure.

Please.... if that's your biggest worry you got nuttin to worry about.

youretooloud
07-29-2011, 11:53 AM
Please.... if that's your biggest worry you got nuttin to worry about.

LOL.. She does now!

Unregistered
07-29-2011, 01:13 PM
Unregistered who I quoted: The OP was unprofessional. Bringing up a care issue at pick up, in front of kids is VERY unprofessional. She should have called the provider after hours or set up a meeting for a later time. She said she was angry with her provider and this had clearly been brewing for a while. This leads me to believe she blew up at her provider in front of the kids. NOT OK EVER.
So yes, she was harassing the provider. After the provider asked her to leave, and she did not -- she became an intruder and we all know that homeowners can protect themselves and their property from intruders.

And while centers do have different regs, does NOT mean that they are followed. I have seen over 20 children sleeping alone in a classroom with all doors shut and when a parent pulled into the parking lot, the teachers ran into their rooms. (and FYI -- I quit that day and called the state on each and every member of the staff present) I would rather have my child in a home environment where the provider is much like any mother during her child's nap -- present, attentive, and aware but not hovering.
Moral of that story -- follow your gut, not what promises they use to reel you in.

Lastly, please do not lump all home providers into a group. We are not all the same. As a mother, I am appalled at some of the "techniques" used by members of this board. There are good and bad providers. Some just do things differently. In the end, it works out to matching your child's needs with a provider who is happy to accommodate those needs.

I'm the poster you quoted. Yes, I agree it wasn't ok to blow up in front of the kids - and there's her story, the provider's story and the truth. In business though, the burden of professionalism lies with the vendor, not the customer. I wish the OP had posted more details on exactly what was said. If I had to guess, I would say that both of them said some dandies in the heat of the moment that they regret. :( I still think both of them messed up and the issue could have been easily resolved through a mature conversation - it sounds like what escalated the issue was when the provider termed the family after she asked the provider to not get "dolled up" during naptime and the mom blew up after being termed, didn't help that the provider slammed her foot in the door needlessly. The provider needs to think about her reputation as well - does she really want to be known as the provider who uses 20-90 minutes each Friday getting ready to go out on Friday nights and is willing to term a parent over it and injure a parent when the parent asks her to supervise the children during naptime? I'm sure this mom will bad mouth in town - if it'd happened to me, I would! I seriously think she should report this provider as well - might not do anything, but there'd be a report on it - especially the slamming foot in door.

I agree with you about center's not being all that great all the time. But I think in this case, a home provider really wouldn't be able to meet her needs. And at least in a center, you were there to report that (as other teachers should have but didn't) and in most cases there are 2 providers in classrooms in centers. This is rarely the case with in home. I agree that customers should trust their gut. I also firmly believe that the customer is always right as well - because we don't know everything that was said, this is a hard one. Overall, I have to side with the customer here because it's unprofessional to term a family like that, bottom line, regardless of circumstances. The burdon is on the business, not the customer. It's bad for business. She made a decision without any thought into it and that can be dangerous. I won't blame the mom for getting angry, anyone would if you were just termed over not wanting them to do their hair while providing care. And yes, they are just a babysitter if the lady wasn't licensed or certified by the state to provide care. Only those that are licensed or certified are required to take the additional classes on SIDS, etc.

And you gotta admit, that regardless, the provider thought her Fridays were important enough to term over - rememeber from the OP, that the mom only questioned her and asked her not to do it anymore and the provider termed her on the spot. The OP should have included her Friday rituals in her interview or handbook so customers know she's doing this every Friday. Sorry, but I wouldn't want my kid there either - I expect my provider to be within sight and sound of my child at all times. The parent/child relationship expectation is different from the child/provider relationship - sorry, but parents get to leave their kids unattended during nap, center providers don't - it's licensing.

I don't lump everyone, but this forum has really put a bad taste in my mouth for home based centers as you understand from reading it. I'll continue reading it and interjecting, because someone has to put some reason into these responses. I would never choose a home based for any future but don't tell my friends to not choose them either - I always tell people to choose based on their needs. Some people, like in this case, there's no way it'll work for her in a home based center based on her needs.

But, then again, I guess I should say that unregistered people shouldn't be lumped under trolls either. And every time unregistereds post, the troll comments come out and the moderator's allow it even though there is behavior conduct rules on this forum that aren't being enforced. These poor parents are being allowed to be attacked mercilessly. I've never posted inflamatory comments, etc to get a rise - I post replies because I can come from a reasonable standpoint without my heart on my sleeve and I can see both sides of the argument. I can tell you that I believe there are more trolls as members than unregistered here.

momofboys
07-29-2011, 01:37 PM
I'm the poster you quoted. Yes, I agree it wasn't ok to blow up in front of the kids - and there's her story, the provider's story and the truth. In business though, the burden of professionalism lies with the vendor, not the customer. I wish the OP had posted more details on exactly what was said. If I had to guess, I would say that both of them said some dandies in the heat of the moment that they regret. :( I still think both of them messed up and the issue could have been easily resolved through a mature conversation - it sounds like what escalated the issue was when the provider termed the family after she asked the provider to not get "dolled up" during naptime and the mom blew up after being termed, didn't help that the provider slammed her foot in the door needlessly. The provider needs to think about her reputation as well - does she really want to be known as the provider who uses 20-90 minutes each Friday getting ready to go out on Friday nights and is willing to term a parent over it and injure a parent when the parent asks her to supervise the children during naptime? I'm sure this mom will bad mouth in town - if it'd happened to me, I would! I seriously think she should report this provider as well - might not do anything, but there'd be a report on it - especially the slamming foot in door.

I agree with you about center's not being all that great all the time. But I think in this case, a home provider really wouldn't be able to meet her needs. And at least in a center, you were there to report that (as other teachers should have but didn't) and in most cases there are 2 providers in classrooms in centers. This is rarely the case with in home. I agree that customers should trust their gut. I also firmly believe that the customer is always right as well - because we don't know everything that was said, this is a hard one. Overall, I have to side with the customer here because it's unprofessional to term a family like that, bottom line, regardless of circumstances. The burdon is on the business, not the customer. It's bad for business. She made a decision without any thought into it and that can be dangerous. I won't blame the mom for getting angry, anyone would if you were just termed over not wanting them to do their hair while providing care. And yes, they are just a babysitter if the lady wasn't licensed or certified by the state to provide care. Only those that are licensed or certified are required to take the additional classes on SIDS, etc.

And you gotta admit, that regardless, the provider thought her Fridays were important enough to term over - rememeber from the OP, that the mom only questioned her and asked her not to do it anymore and the provider termed her on the spot. The OP should have included her Friday rituals in her interview or handbook so customers know she's doing this every Friday. Sorry, but I wouldn't want my kid there either - I expect my provider to be within sight and sound of my child at all times. The parent/child relationship expectation is different from the child/provider relationship - sorry, but parents get to leave their kids unattended during nap, center providers don't - it's licensing.

I don't lump everyone, but this forum has really put a bad taste in my mouth for home based centers as you understand from reading it. I'll continue reading it and interjecting, because someone has to put some reason into these responses. I would never choose a home based for any future but don't tell my friends to not choose them either - I always tell people to choose based on their needs. Some people, like in this case, there's no way it'll work for her in a home based center based on her needs.

But, then again, I guess I should say that unregistered people shouldn't be lumped under trolls either. And every time unregistereds post, the troll comments come out and the moderator's allow it even though there is behavior conduct rules on this forum that aren't being enforced. These poor parents are being allowed to be attacked mercilessly. I've never posted inflamatory comments, etc to get a rise - I post replies because I can come from a reasonable standpoint without my heart on my sleeve and I can see both sides of the argument. I can tell you that I believe there are more trolls as members than unregistered here.


So should providers write out everything they do or might do in a given day? Do you really want to know that your provider "may" put in a loud of laundry during naptime, clean dishes, go to the bathroom, put on make-up God-forbid! etc. etc?!? IMO what difference does it make what the provider is doing? It's naptime for heaven's sakes? When you are home & your child is sleeping do you stare over them for hours? Who's watching your child at night time when you are both sleeping? Some people need to get a life!

Country Kids
07-29-2011, 01:58 PM
I'm the poster you quoted. Yes, I agree it wasn't ok to blow up in front of the kids - and there's her story, the provider's story and the truth. In business though, the burden of professionalism lies with the vendor, not the customer. I wish the OP had posted more details on exactly what was said. If I had to guess, I would say that both of them said some dandies in the heat of the moment that they regret. :( I still think both of them messed up and the issue could have been easily resolved through a mature conversation - it sounds like what escalated the issue was when the provider termed the family after she asked the provider to not get "dolled up" during naptime and the mom blew up after being termed, didn't help that the provider slammed her foot in the door needlessly. The provider needs to think about her reputation as well - does she really want to be known as the provider who uses 20-90 minutes each Friday getting ready to go out on Friday nights and is willing to term a parent over it and injure a parent when the parent asks her to supervise the children during naptime? I'm sure this mom will bad mouth in town - if it'd happened to me, I would! I seriously think she should report this provider as well - might not do anything, but there'd be a report on it - especially the slamming foot in door.

I agree with you about center's not being all that great all the time. But I think in this case, a home provider really wouldn't be able to meet her needs. And at least in a center, you were there to report that (as other teachers should have but didn't) and in most cases there are 2 providers in classrooms in centers. This is rarely the case with in home. I agree that customers should trust their gut. I also firmly believe that the customer is always right as well - because we don't know everything that was said, this is a hard one. Overall, I have to side with the customer here because it's unprofessional to term a family like that, bottom line, regardless of circumstances. The burdon is on the business, not the customer. It's bad for business. She made a decision without any thought into it and that can be dangerous. I won't blame the mom for getting angry, anyone would if you were just termed over not wanting them to do their hair while providing care. And yes, they are just a babysitter if the lady wasn't licensed or certified by the state to provide care. Only those that are licensed or certified are required to take the additional classes on SIDS, etc.

And you gotta admit, that regardless, the provider thought her Fridays were important enough to term over - rememeber from the OP, that the mom only questioned her and asked her not to do it anymore and the provider termed her on the spot. The OP should have included her Friday rituals in her interview or handbook so customers know she's doing this every Friday. Sorry, but I wouldn't want my kid there either - I expect my provider to be within sight and sound of my child at all times. The parent/child relationship expectation is different from the child/provider relationship - sorry, but parents get to leave their kids unattended during nap, center providers don't - it's licensing.

I don't lump everyone, but this forum has really put a bad taste in my mouth for home based centers as you understand from reading it. I'll continue reading it and interjecting, because someone has to put some reason into these responses. I would never choose a home based for any future but don't tell my friends to not choose them either - I always tell people to choose based on their needs. Some people, like in this case, there's no way it'll work for her in a home based center based on her needs.

But, then again, I guess I should say that unregistered people shouldn't be lumped under trolls either. And every time unregistereds post, the troll comments come out and the moderator's allow it even though there is behavior conduct rules on this forum that aren't being enforced. These poor parents are being allowed to be attacked mercilessly. I've never posted inflamatory comments, etc to get a rise - I post replies because I can come from a reasonable standpoint without my heart on my sleeve and I can see both sides of the argument. I can tell you that I believe there are more trolls as members than unregistered here.

You said you wanted your provider within sight and sound at all times. My childcare bathroom is right with my schoolroom. Would you be ok with me getting ready during naptime in there? I can pretty much go into my kitchen, the childcare bathroom, and my outside deck and still be in sight and sound of the children. I can tell you from experience it can get pretty boring being in those three areas during naptime, especially if there isn't much going on with the computor. Have you ever stayed at your desk or whatever you sit at and literally not been able to go maybe 10 feet of it ALL day long. Try it for a week then get back to us!

JenNJ
07-29-2011, 03:00 PM
I guess my biggest question is why does it matter what the provider is choosing to do? If it was laundry would the parent still freak out? Dishes, sweeping, wiping the table clean, playing on the computer, doing an exercise video, etc.? These are all things I myself have done while the children slept. I am within hearing distance at all times and have a monitor as a backup.

It doesn't seem like the provider termed over the issue of make-up. It sounds like she was being talked to and questioned (not nicely judging by the OP's tone) in front of the kids. I am willing to bet that THAT was the reason for the termination -- not because she wanted to continue doing her make-up. She told the OP to leave. OP did not. Should she have continued to argue in front of young children? Or shut the door and shield them from a conversation and subject matter that are not age appropriate?

I don't buy the customer is always right. it doesn't translate to real life. If the customer in a retail store is a thief, are they still right? One who speaks to the young salesgirl in an inappropriate manner? Or the woman in the restaurant who touches her waiter's butt? Are they all "right" because they are the customer? No. Customers are a group of humans and no group of humans is always right. So "the customer is always right" line of thinking needs to go away fast.

MamaBear
07-29-2011, 03:45 PM
I am still enjoying a good laugh at all of our post. The best part is that the person more than likely will never return. But we all get to punch at it like a serious carido boxing class.
Goes to show why it is sooo important for us providers to explain our policies and procedures to parents when they sign up. I know that there are some people that are just way out in left field and nothing we could do to prepare them....lol I am trying to be nice here....

Mamabear what is gonezo? you said gonezo in my book?? What does that mean??

HaHaHa... Like "your gone"... "outta' here" ... "Gonezo..." I dont know... just a word I say :) lol

daycare
07-29-2011, 04:48 PM
Hahah I looked it up google search and it said it was a Jim henson muppet? Lol. I don't know what those are either but either way i got super good laugh!!

youretooloud
07-29-2011, 04:52 PM
muppet? Lol. I don't know what those are either but either way i got super good laugh!!

GASP! You don't know the Muppets?????

Beaker is my favorite.http://i145.photobucket.com/albums/r202/katertot01/Beaker_muppet_thumb.jpg

youretooloud
07-29-2011, 04:57 PM
Now the Muppet theme song is stuck in my head.

daycare
07-29-2011, 04:59 PM
Lol no I dont. That puppet u posted is super funny looking.
I'm gonna google Jim henson muppets

youretooloud
07-29-2011, 05:02 PM
Lol no I dont. That puppet u posted is super funny looking.
I'm gonna google Jim henson muppets

The most famous Manha Manha song with the one and only Animal.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8N_tupPBtWQ

nannyde
07-29-2011, 05:02 PM
I'm the poster you quoted. Yes, I agree it wasn't ok to blow up in front of the kids - and there's her story, the provider's story and the truth. In business though, the burden of professionalism lies with the vendor, not the customer. I wish the OP had posted more details on exactly what was said. If I had to guess, I would say that both of them said some dandies in the heat of the moment that they regret. :( I still think both of them messed up and the issue could have been easily resolved through a mature conversation - it sounds like what escalated the issue was when the provider termed the family after she asked the provider to not get "dolled up" during naptime and the mom blew up after being termed, didn't help that the provider slammed her foot in the door needlessly. The provider needs to think about her reputation as well - does she really want to be known as the provider who uses 20-90 minutes each Friday getting ready to go out on Friday nights and is willing to term a parent over it and injure a parent when the parent asks her to supervise the children during naptime? I'm sure this mom will bad mouth in town - if it'd happened to me, I would! I seriously think she should report this provider as well - might not do anything, but there'd be a report on it - especially the slamming foot in door.

I agree with you about center's not being all that great all the time. But I think in this case, a home provider really wouldn't be able to meet her needs. And at least in a center, you were there to report that (as other teachers should have but didn't) and in most cases there are 2 providers in classrooms in centers. This is rarely the case with in home. I agree that customers should trust their gut. I also firmly believe that the customer is always right as well - because we don't know everything that was said, this is a hard one. Overall, I have to side with the customer here because it's unprofessional to term a family like that, bottom line, regardless of circumstances. The burdon is on the business, not the customer. It's bad for business. She made a decision without any thought into it and that can be dangerous. I won't blame the mom for getting angry, anyone would if you were just termed over not wanting them to do their hair while providing care. And yes, they are just a babysitter if the lady wasn't licensed or certified by the state to provide care. Only those that are licensed or certified are required to take the additional classes on SIDS, etc.

And you gotta admit, that regardless, the provider thought her Fridays were important enough to term over - rememeber from the OP, that the mom only questioned her and asked her not to do it anymore and the provider termed her on the spot. The OP should have included her Friday rituals in her interview or handbook so customers know she's doing this every Friday. Sorry, but I wouldn't want my kid there either - I expect my provider to be within sight and sound of my child at all times. The parent/child relationship expectation is different from the child/provider relationship - sorry, but parents get to leave their kids unattended during nap, center providers don't - it's licensing.

I don't lump everyone, but this forum has really put a bad taste in my mouth for home based centers as you understand from reading it. I'll continue reading it and interjecting, because someone has to put some reason into these responses. I would never choose a home based for any future but don't tell my friends to not choose them either - I always tell people to choose based on their needs. Some people, like in this case, there's no way it'll work for her in a home based center based on her needs.

But, then again, I guess I should say that unregistered people shouldn't be lumped under trolls either. And every time unregistereds post, the troll comments come out and the moderator's allow it even though there is behavior conduct rules on this forum that aren't being enforced. These poor parents are being allowed to be attacked mercilessly. I've never posted inflamatory comments, etc to get a rise - I post replies because I can come from a reasonable standpoint without my heart on my sleeve and I can see both sides of the argument. I can tell you that I believe there are more trolls as members than unregistered here.

Wow

The "customer is always right" is so silly. If a provider believes that she has a one hundred percent chance of failure. It's IMPOSSIBLE to do this job well and be successful if you believe that your clients should dictate your policies and your business practices. The ONLY way it would work is to just have one family with one child. That's the nanny business not the group child care business.

The parents act of keeping her foot in the door because she wasn't done discussing the make up was a full barrell act of aggression and bullying. At that point she had her child in her custody. She had NO business forcing the provider to keep discussing it by using her body to force a face to face.

This is a dangerous parent. We don't need to hear anymore of her story. She said clearly what she did that was inapropriate. She deserved to be terminated. For the provider, the providers children, and the other children, this parent shouldn't be allowed on the premise. It's too risky to have adults coming into your home who are willing to be physically aggressive when they feel wronged or disagree with the provider.

If the parent felt the child had actually BEEN harmed then it would be a bit understandable. It's obvious that the parent received the child in good condition or she wouldn't have been concerned about ever returning.

Providers need to feel empowered NOT told to do as they are told.

rjskids
07-29-2011, 05:25 PM
Ugh! This pisses me off cause it is the OP's way of thinking that is sooooo common among parents! Can you imagine how burned OUT we would all be if we have a FULL house of kids from 6 AM to 6 PM without ANY TYPE OF BREAK!? So ignorant....

I am lucky if I get even a half hour break during naptime. Today two babies took a morning nap while my toddlers played, then the toddlers napped while the babies played, then after the toddlers woke up...the babies took a nap. Nope, no break here today! Do I get paid for working during my "breaktime"? Noooooo.

I think (if this is real) the real problem here is the OP is jealous that the provider has a life on Friday nights.

Hunni Bee
07-29-2011, 07:17 PM
So you actually had no problem with how your son was cared for, you just thought since you pay her you should be able to control what she does with her time.

You also thought that you were able to tell her that she SHOULD actually continue to care for your son after she told you she would no longer do so.

Finally, you thought that you had the right to remain in her home after she asked you to leave.

You thought.

Meeko
07-29-2011, 08:39 PM
This is how I think it went.

Mom shows up at the door. Provider opens the door looking pretty and ready for a nice evening.

Mom looks like the south end of a north bound horse and feels jealous. Proceeds to ACT like the south end of a north bound horse........

MommyMuffin
07-29-2011, 09:00 PM
This is how I think it went.

Mom shows up at the door. Provider opens the door looking pretty and ready for a nice evening.

Mom looks like the south end of a north bound horse and feels jealous. Proceeds to ACT like the south end of a north bound horse........

LMAO can this thread get any funnier?

Preschool/daycare teacher
07-30-2011, 03:43 PM
I have been taking my 19-month-old son to a babysitter for 3 months now. I pay a weekly rate of $150 for a full time space which I really think should be cheaper seen as she is open from 6am 6pm and will only allow for my son to be there from 7:30am 4:30pm. There are several other kids still there when I pick my son up at 4:30pm, but apparently Im only allowed to use 9 hours in one day. I have let this slide, I will say, with little complaint on my part but I have gotten to the point where Im right pissed with the fact that she is using my hard earned money to get herself dolled up every Friday night. When I show up Friday morning she has her hair straighten and a light amount of make-up on, which I am glad she is professional enough to at least answer the door ready for the day. However, every Friday when I come to pick up my son she has her hair curled all up and complete make-up. Today she even had fake eyelashes on and re-painted her toenails. I just could not handle it anymore so I confronted her about it. I asked her when she has the time in her day to make herself look so good while she is watching my son and other kids, her response was during nap time. How is she able to properly supervise my child if she is off in the bathroom curling up her hair and gluing on fake lashes? What if my son was crying while she had wet paint on her toenails? I asked her all this, and she responded with if she needs to run she just runs, if anything gets ruined in the process she will start over. Ok? So how long exactly does this process take I ask. She responds with it depends on the day and what I feel like doing to pretty myself up. At which point I told her I no longer wanted her doing this while my son was in her care. She handed me my son and told me that she was giving me my two weeks notice and will have a letter for me tomorrow morning. When I protested she tried to shut the door on my face and my foot ended up getting smashed, which I had put on the landing because I was not done discussing things with her. I said a few things I should not of at that point due to the pain she had caused to my foot and her husband came out scolded me and told me to leave, which I did. I get home today and find an email from her saying that she could no longer accept my child into her care and is terming me because of harassment. She has a harassment equals no refund in her handbook, but I really do not think that I harassed her. So now my babysitter gets to keep two weeks of pay, Im out a sitter and she is going to continue painting herself up every Friday! What can I do to get my money back?

This post doesn't sound real, but here are some of my thoughts anyway: (1) I'm understanding that your rate is $150 for 9 hours. The other families are probably also paying $150 for 9 hours (they just have different hours. 9-6, for example). Did you get a handbook of policies? It should have said that the rate is $150 for 9 hours. If it said the rate was $150 and you can leave the child as few or as many hours as you want, then I would have an issue with it, too, if she wasn't following her own policies and allowing you to leave him as long as you want. Why do you want your child to stay longer? Do you need to work more hrs at work? That's understandable, if so, and most providers will try to work with parents if they honestly do need more hours than they signed the contract for. Usually they draw up a new contract with your new work hours (perhaps adding a fee since the hours are outside the maximum of 9 hrs/day for $150). Or were you wanting to go home for some "me time" before picking your child up, and that's why you're upset at having to pick him up by 4:30? Think of it this way: you work 8 hr days, then want to go home and have a little break before dealing with child. They work 12 hour days straight. No break during the day, unless every child in care actually goes to sleep.

(2) with the make up during nap time: You get breaks at work (especially if you worked 12 hr days!). It would be illegal for your boss to have you work that many hours without one. But home providers shouldn't get one because you pay them? Do you realize that if they couldn't catch their breath in the middle of the day and take some sort of break, they would be sick much more often, become burned out and too tired, and may end up quitting (So they can go to an 8 hr day job and come home with more money in the bank than they ever had working 12 hr days)? Plus if they were burned out and sick from over working themselves (childcare is a VERY very physically and emotionally exhausting job, that never ends. Even after all the children go home, they still have paper work, cleaning, lesson planning, etc etc to do), they would have to take a sick day (meaning they have no choice but to call you at the last minute saying they can't care for your child unless you want your child to get their illness), and you would be left without care for your child that day. As long as your son is safely asleep, what is wrong with your provider taking a few minutes to apply a little more make-up and paint their toenails? Did you ask her how often she checks on the children while she's doing her "doll-up" session? She may be checking on him every two minutes visually, while still keeping her ears tuned to the sleeping children. How close is the bathroom from the nap room? Wouldn't you rather she do this while all the children are safely sleeping rather than while they are awake and not so safe? Is it okay for her to use the bathroom while your child is sleeping, or is that not okay since she can't see your child if she's on the toilet? Do you physically stay in the same room as your child while they sleep, with your eye on them the entire time? Do you never put make up on or touch up your nails while your child is home, or is that why you need your child to stay at daycare longer, so you can do this stuff without him around?

(3) You said you "couldn't handle it any longer" so you confronted her. The way this is phrased, it sounds like you may have blown up in a way and came off too strongly and disrespectfully. If a parent came in and talked disrespectfully to me in my own home, I would be really upset, and believe it was terms for termination. You stated that the provider answered your questions, but you told her what she couldn't do anymore, as if you were her boss. When she tried to get you to leave, you stated in your post that you weren't finished discussing things with her, so had placed your foot inside the door to stop her from shutting the door. Why would you complain about the pain she caused your foot when YOU are the one that put your foot there! Did she even know your foot was there when she tried to shut the door? I would be looking at your face as I shut the door, not at your foot to make sure it didn't get in the way. You tried to force yourself back inside HER house, which you had no legal right to force yourself on her property (since you had your child in your arms), by the way. That would be grounds for immediate termination with no refunds, even if you hadn't already disrespected her, and the courts would see it this way, as well. You could try to go to court and get your money back, but they wouldn't give it to you. There's too many things wrong with the situation. If it was in her handbook and contract, it is legally binding. You may not like what she does during nap time, but as long as she is following the licensing regulations (which my state's say "within sight OR sound at all times"), it's okay what she was doing. To me, it sounds like you are just upset with the fact that you can't leave your child 12 hours a day. Or that she wanted to make herself look better by putting on some make-up so she could have an evening out of the house.

sharlan
07-30-2011, 04:35 PM
86 posts and the op hasn't come back???????

PitterPatter
07-30-2011, 04:41 PM
86 posts and the op hasn't come back???????

Oh I bet they have come back to enjoy the uproar they got started. IF it is genuine they probably just don't have anything to say. What could she say?

Kaddidle Care
07-30-2011, 05:34 PM
Well... a thought did cross my mind.

Perhaps the whole original post was created by a member about what happened to her but posted like a DCParent might write it.

Now which one of you beauties is it? :lol:

It's not me because I don't wear make up, don't need to straighten my hair and I don't have the time or inkling to do nails. :p

sharlan
07-30-2011, 06:53 PM
Well... a thought did cross my mind.

Perhaps the whole original post was created by a member about what happened to her but posted like a DCParent might write it.

Now which one of you beauties is it? :lol:

It's not me because I don't wear make up, don't need to straighten my hair and I don't have the time or inkling to do nails. :p

Well, it can't be me. I don't own a blow dryer or curling iron, haven't used nail polish in 20 years, and I have to borrow make-up from my daughter the few times a year I use it.

I still believe it was a troll.

Preschool/daycare teacher
07-30-2011, 09:19 PM
Wasn't me either :lol: I don't own curling iron either, hardly ever wear make-up and if I do it's just eye liner and tad bit of blush. My poor toenails might have seen the nail polish once this whole summer...oh and I cannot stand fake eye lashes! Oh and we are not open 6-6. (Although someone wants us to open at 5 am, and someone else wants us to close at 6 pm. They were both a no go, even if we are desperate for more children! 2 children would not make it worth 13 hour work days or going insane and having to go to the insane assylum:lol:)

PitterPatter
07-30-2011, 09:30 PM
Well... a thought did cross my mind.

Perhaps the whole original post was created by a member about what happened to her but posted like a DCParent might write it.

Now which one of you beauties is it? :lol:

It's not me because I don't wear make up, don't need to straighten my hair and I don't have the time or inkling to do nails. :p

Not I, I don't have makeup and polish etc. I do own a blow dryer but I don't dry my hair much in summer. It's usually in a ponytail or in a bun. Besides I don't even 'go out'. My idea of a fun night in summer is spent on the porch chatting with friends/neigbors with a tall glass of iced tea, and watching the kids play hide and seek or catch lightening bugs. Exciting I know :rolleyes:

littlemissmuffet
07-30-2011, 09:53 PM
Someone's jeslous!

I do my hair and makeup in the morning, but I reapply my makeup and re-do my hair during nap time as well. I also paint my nails during nap time. I change too. If any of my parents had an issue, I'd simply show them the door... just like yours did. :D

Auntie
07-31-2011, 04:10 PM
I see nothing wrong with what that provider did during nap time. If she took a shower well maybe that would have been out of ear shot of the kids and that would be a possible oops. But fixing hair/make-up and doing nails who cares. Where is the follow up from the original poster of this thread? And to the OP just put your kid in a center those caregivers cannot leave the room. :)

Kaddidle Care
07-31-2011, 05:31 PM
Someone's jeslous!

I do my hair and makeup in the morning, but I reapply my makeup and re-do my hair during nap time as well. I also paint my nails during nap time. I change too. If any of my parents had an issue, I'd simply show them the door... just like yours did. :D


AHA!!! So it's YOU! hahahaha! :lol: (just kidding)

Hunni Bee
07-31-2011, 09:23 PM
It wasn't me because I'm nearly bald :D:D

Unregistered
08-01-2011, 01:10 PM
So should providers write out everything they do or might do in a given day? Do you really want to know that your provider "may" put in a loud of laundry during naptime, clean dishes, go to the bathroom, put on make-up God-forbid! etc. etc?!? IMO what difference does it make what the provider is doing? It's naptime for heaven's sakes? When you are home & your child is sleeping do you stare over them for hours? Who's watching your child at night time when you are both sleeping? Some people need to get a life!

To Momofboys:
Well, the OP really was quiet shocked by the amount of time the provider was spending dolling up. Center's don't do this, they have to be in the room at all times, even during nap time. A center would be a better fit her. My point in my post was that if it's that important to term over, then it should be in the contract. No one can think of everything to put in there, but the provider thought it was that important to term over. The provider changed her mind on why she was terming after thinking about it because she probably found out she didn't have the appropriate clause in her contract and then emailed a different reason in writing, the harrassment. The harrassment thing was pretty loose, because an argument on it's own isn't harrassment and it sounds like the provider already termed her for the not getting ready request and we didn't get detail on exactly what was said, but I think it's safe to say both parties are guilty. I did say in my post though, that centers have to be in the classroom at all times, so if they can do it, I think a provider could do it as well. But that's one of the reasons I didn't choose homecare, because I don't agree with the provider being outside of sight and sound during naptime or otherwise, even bathroom breaks. But in home care licensing regs are different from center regulations.

MarinaVanessa
08-01-2011, 04:03 PM
But that's one of the reasons I didn't choose homecare, because I don't agree with the provider being outside of sight and sound during naptime or otherwise, even bathroom breaks. But in home care licensing regs are different from center regulations.

Centers also have state mandated breaks so that their employees can go to the bathroom or do their hair, nails & make-up during these times if they so choose. They also have more employees that can step in to watch the kiddos should they need to use the potty really bad before their break or lunch times, home-daycares usually do not have assistants or extra employees around. And you are absolutely right, centers have different licensing regs than home-daycares... they also have higher adult=child ratios. meaning that one adult cares for more children at a center than a home provider can in a family daycare home, which is one of the main reasons that they are required to stay in the classroom at all times. Just saying ;).

MG&Lsmom
08-01-2011, 04:17 PM
But that's one of the reasons I didn't choose homecare, because I don't agree with the provider being outside of sight and sound during naptime or otherwise, even bathroom breaks.

You find fault with home daycare licensing because they allow a provider to use the bathroom during daycare hours? Or to walk into an adjacent room to discard a diaper? Or help another child in the bathroom? It's your prerogative to choose what's best for your child, however, to bash ALL home based providers because they need bathroom breaks in the 10-12 hours children are present, or nap some children in another room is ridiculous. In the center I worked in 18 years ago, we were allowed to send fully potty trained children to the restroom by themselves. It was attached to the room, but they were out of sight. And outside there were areas we could not see directly, like inside the playhouses. Would you expect at a center that someone sit inside the playhouse to be always in the sight of your child? How about leading a line of toddlers out the door? My back would be turned at times. Another no-no. And this should all be spelled out in the contract? How many pages would you be willing to read, initial, and comply with? Expectations of some parents are just too high sometimes.

Vesta
08-01-2011, 04:59 PM
I can't post a link but this thread reminds me of the new Geico commercial about daycare being too expensive so the center is fully staffed by robots.
Watch for it, it's cracks me up every time I see it.
I guess that is what some parents would prefer.....

nannyde
08-01-2011, 06:00 PM
You find fault with home daycare licensing because they allow a provider to use the bathroom during daycare hours? Or to walk into an adjacent room to discard a diaper? Or help another child in the bathroom? It's your prerogative to choose what's best for your child, however, to bash ALL home based providers because they need bathroom breaks in the 10-12 hours children are present, or nap some children in another room is ridiculous. In the center I worked in 18 years ago, we were allowed to send fully potty trained children to the restroom by themselves. It was attached to the room, but they were out of sight. And outside there were areas we could not see directly, like inside the playhouses. Would you expect at a center that someone sit inside the playhouse to be always in the sight of your child? How about leading a line of toddlers out the door? My back would be turned at times. Another no-no. And this should all be spelled out in the contract? How many pages would you be willing to read, initial, and comply with? Expectations of some parents are just too high sometimes.

I've been thinking about this thread today and the notion that when kids are in child care that they need direct visual supervision at all times. This is now a common expectation.

But... when you read "new mommy" advice you hear the same thing year after year...... SLEEP when the baby sleeps. Get rest. Rest up when the baby rests or you won't be able to manage the baby. You'll get too tired with your one baby.

Why is it that when that baby is in parental care that society understands that the mommy needs a break but when a couple of dollars an hour pass hands all of a sudden that SAME child needs to have an adult visually seeing them at all times?

If babies, toddlers, and preschoolers need an adult to be in the same room with them and visually see them every single second then they need that EVERYWHERE they go and at ALL times.

I do believe that children need a higher level of supervision in group care than in parental care. The numbers of children alone dictate that there is a higher probability that something preventable could happen........ BUT

if children are safely confined and the adult is awake and can HEAR them and do visual checks frequently.... then imho that is acceptable supervision in group care.

The only age group I believe really DOES need visual supervision at all times is school aged children.

I also think we get compared to centers a lot in these convo's but the bottom line truth is is that centers have a VERY VERY high turnover in staff for a reason. One of the reasons is that they don't get proper breaks away from the kids and the stimulation of having a large group of age mates in a single room for multiple hours a day is EXHAUSTING and overloading to most workers. The ones who are with them every second and watch them visually every second are the ones who quit and go do something else after a few months.

We aren't robots. We are humans. We need breaks. We need to pace ourselves. We are dealing with human babies and there is ALWAYS a risk that some children will get harmed or die when they are with us. We can do everything in our power to decrease that to as low of a level as possible but when that expectation becomes something that even their parents with one, two kids can't ever replicate then it begs the question if it is reasonable and doable.

Money doesn't dictate a child's needs. The number of children under one adults care DOES dictate some of the childs real needs. There has to be some common sense and some fairness in the expectations.

Country Kids
08-01-2011, 08:30 PM
I can't post a link but this thread reminds me of the new Geico commercial about daycare being too expensive so the center is fully staffed by robots.
Watch for it, it's cracks me up every time I see it.
I guess that is what some parents would prefer.....

I'm going to really watch this next time. I've seen it but not paid attention so could never figure out what they were talking about!

MyAngels
08-01-2011, 09:11 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_Qc_nmSUGQ

The Geico commercial...

PitterPatter
08-01-2011, 09:21 PM
You find fault with home daycare licensing because they allow a provider to use the bathroom during daycare hours? Or to walk into an adjacent room to discard a diaper? Or help another child in the bathroom? It's your prerogative to choose what's best for your child, however, to bash ALL home based providers because they need bathroom breaks in the 10-12 hours children are present, or nap some children in another room is ridiculous. In the center I worked in 18 years ago, we were allowed to send fully potty trained children to the restroom by themselves. It was attached to the room, but they were out of sight. And outside there were areas we could not see directly, like inside the playhouses. Would you expect at a center that someone sit inside the playhouse to be always in the sight of your child? How about leading a line of toddlers out the door? My back would be turned at times. Another no-no. And this should all be spelled out in the contract? How many pages would you be willing to read, initial, and comply with? Expectations of some parents are just too high sometimes.

I can see the kids everywhere here except when using the bathroom so I will address that. If we couldn't use the bathroom during daycare hours our blatters would burst! Either that or we would be handing the children over at the end of the day with yellow streaks running down our legs. I do try to hold it as long as possible but I admit sometimes I can't even hold it until nap time. When we make potty breaks I too go. I will sit the kids in the hall outside the door and hurry as I listen but for someone to expect us not to eliminate in any way for 10-11 hrs is just insane. I had a DCM that wanted me to take her preschooler son to the bathroom with me when I went!! :eek: I guess I will be putting a few extra notices in my handbook. "provider is not willing to piss herself for your child, she will take potty breaks of her own AND alone!" I also refuse to go assist school aged children. I will wait outside the door but that's it for me! JMHO

youretooloud
08-01-2011, 09:29 PM
I still don't believe this post is real..... BUT..

For some people a center is best. However, the child will go through many, many teachers between infant-kindergarten. They will have three or more teachers each day, then teacher turnover is very high, plus the floaters so the main teacher can take a break during the day.

WE keep the kids from birth through kindergarten or even later. So, the kids can become attached to us. WE remember our kids 30 years later, and even become facebook friends with them. I can still remember what Thomas Poole's favorite food was in 1985. I remember that Stephanie Tucker was a biter when she was 18 months old. I still remember Kyle Oniell's birthday is May 19th, and he's 20 years old now.

I've worked in centers, and I have pictures from those years, and the only kids who's names I remember are the kids we couldn't stand. I think they were all named Nicky.... it's odd how all the bad kids were named Nicky.

SilverSabre25
08-01-2011, 09:43 PM
Nanny...for a change I actually agree wholeheartedly with every single thing you said in your last post on this thread! Bravo! Michael, we need an applause smiley :) or a like button or something!


As for this whole thread, I doubt it's real because the OP used the phrase "termed" which to me sounds like a poster from here, or someone who's been reading our threads for awhile. I bet you anything it's more of an "industry" term than something that a "regular" daycare parent would be saying. Kicked out, fired...stuff like that is what I would expect to see. Not the word "termed".

sharlan
08-02-2011, 12:10 AM
Nanny...for a change I actually agree wholeheartedly with every single thing you said in your last post on this thread! Bravo! Michael, we need an applause smiley :) or a like button or something!


As for this whole thread, I doubt it's real because the OP used the phrase "termed" which to me sounds like a poster from here, or someone who's been reading our threads for awhile. I bet you anything it's more of an "industry" term than something that a "regular" daycare parent would be saying. Kicked out, fired...stuff like that is what I would expect to see. Not the word "termed".

I agree with you.

It also amazes me how many old, old threads are brought up by "unregistered" people. Maybe someone from here is bored and needs to bring up old drama to make them happy.

erinalexmom
08-02-2011, 04:22 AM
I've worked in centers, and I have pictures from those years, and the only kids who's names I remember are the kids we couldn't stand. I think they were all named Nicky.... it's odd how all the bad kids were named Nicky.

LOL when I worked at a center my worst kid was Nicky! and his mom was the worst parent too!! :lol: whats funny is my sons name is Alex and every Alex I know is a wild child (including mine) its funny how they tend to go with thier name.