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View Full Version : Another Idiotic Use of Time Out


SilverSabre25
02-13-2012, 09:30 AM
Now my little DCG who gets put in T.O. at home for peeing in her pull-up, just put herself in time out because she accidentally dropped a little bit of rice outside of the sensory box!!!! I asked her why she thought she needed a time out and she said, "Because I make a mess."

I CAN NOT believe this. CAN. NOT. BELIEVE. THIS. She JUST turned three on Saturday! She gets put in T.O for ACCIDENTS. I CAN NOT believe it!!! I am absolutely beside myself.

Seriously...no wonder I have some of the problems I have with her! No wonder she bosses the other kids all the time...no wonder she is constantly putting toys in time out, and trying to put other children in time out. No wonder she's so anxious, so afraid to play, so resistant to doing things on her own. She's scared to death that every breath she takes is going to land her in time out.

Ho. Ly. CRAP.

I am so angry at her parents right now, and so hurting for her. I NEED to get them some better resources for parenting, some better resources for potty training. I don't even know where to begin right now...I seriously doubt they will ever listen to me.

sahm2three
02-13-2012, 09:40 AM
Now my little DCG who gets put in T.O. at home for peeing in her pull-up, just put herself in time out because she accidentally dropped a little bit of rice outside of the sensory box!!!! I asked her why she thought she needed a time out and she said, "Because I make a mess."

I CAN NOT believe this. CAN. NOT. BELIEVE. THIS. She JUST turned three on Saturday! She gets put in T.O for ACCIDENTS. I CAN NOT believe it!!! I am absolutely beside myself.

Seriously...no wonder I have some of the problems I have with her! No wonder she bosses the other kids all the time...no wonder she is constantly putting toys in time out, and trying to put other children in time out. No wonder she's so anxious, so afraid to play, so resistant to doing things on her own. She's scared to death that every breath she takes is going to land her in time out.

Ho. Ly. CRAP.

I am so angry at her parents right now, and so hurting for her. I NEED to get them some better resources for parenting, some better resources for potty training. I don't even know where to begin right now...I seriously doubt they will ever listen to me.

So sad. :( Parenting is so extreme now. Either extreme to this extent or to the opposite with no consequence or guidance. Sad. Hugs to you, and to her! Good luck!

Meeko
02-13-2012, 09:43 AM
Oh Silver,,,this is so sad. That poor little girl. Seems parents can't find the happy medium. They are either time outing for every tiny thing, or allow their children to run wild.

I would maybe find some articles, or even write your own info sheet and give it to every parent (no singling out) MAYBE they'll read it. Do one each month for a while.

Or...if you're up for it....a sit down, heart to heart with her parents. Is this their only child? Maybe they just know any better and would welcome your input?

Good luck! (and hug that little girl from me!)

Sunshine44
02-13-2012, 11:13 AM
I wouldn't take what she said to mean she gets put in time out all the time for accidents. You do not truly know, so I wouldn't assume. I know it is hard, but maybe she does the same things over and over and isn't listening. I would put my own child in time out if they did things repeatedly. Maybe not accidents, but maybe she's confused on accidents or on purpose??

Heidi
02-13-2012, 11:22 AM
I was thinking the same...

My little dcg tells me all the time that her dog pooped in her room (he did once, months ago) and that she sleeps with her dad on th couch (apparently, he fell asleep on the couch one night and she crawled in with him early in the morning).

I would ask mom about it, and if she confirms what the daughter says, THEN talk, to her about how it's affecting her little girl's behavior. Maybe something like "wow, I SO appreciate how hard you work to teach her right from wrong. You don't know how frustrated we DCP's get with all the permissive parenting now-a-days. But, one area we don't usually use punishment is potty training. It seems to have the opposite effect on getting children trained".

spud912
02-13-2012, 02:05 PM
My children do pretend time outs all the time and they hardly ever have time outs. They usually put their toys in time out and think it's the funniest thing.

wdmmom
02-13-2012, 03:12 PM
You're never going to get parents that think or parent like you do. I've learned that much. You find people that you feel would be a good fit to your daycare and follow your rules.

If DCG is getting time out for accidents or making a mess, it's beyond what you can do. What you can do is tell her that time out is not appropriate punishment at daycare and that you understand accidents happen.

daycare
02-13-2012, 03:35 PM
You're never going to get parents that think or parent like you do. I've learned that much. You find people that you feel would be a good fit to your daycare and follow your rules.

If DCG is getting time out for accidents or making a mess, it's beyond what you can do. What you can do is tell her that time out is not appropriate punishment at daycare and that you understand accidents happen.
ditto this..... as we all say, what happens at home happens at home and what happens at DC happens at DC...

I might bring up to DCM, wow little susie has been really over infatuated with time outs lately. Has she been getting into trouble at home?

Hunni Bee
02-13-2012, 04:43 PM
Gee, poor little girl. She must be afraid to do anything.

I am a believer in time out, as a way for the kid to back up from the situation and take a breather, or if a child is just not hearing you and you know they understand.

But for accidents, things that are out her control or she doesn't understand is not only a bit cruel but it doesn't teach anything. Simply plopping her in t.o. For any and everything doesn't explain what she did or how to fix it or how to be more successful next time. So, it's not even going to work well for THEM in the long run.

They truly may not know how this is affecting their daughter. I know I still come to this board with things that I truly thought were not harmful but learned otherwise. Give them the benefit of the doubt (even if you already have;)) and then start documenting.

JMO.

countrymom
02-13-2012, 07:24 PM
hmm, I wonder if this girl is playing a game. Talk to the mom about this, open communication is the key. If you can't talk to them, then maybe they are not a good fit for you.