View Full Version : Own Child Dislikes DCK
06-05-2012, 07:44 AM
What do you do when your own child dislikes a dck so much so that they- your own- acts up on the days that child is there, cries when they find out dck is coming, has an all around rotten day when dck is here?????? The other days they are fine, no behavior issues, love daycare and their "friends".
I feel terrible for my own child. I know why they dislike this child and I do my best to allow my own to do their own thing when dck is here but dcks behavior is unavoidable. Do I talk to mom about it? Term? Leave it be and figure its a life lesson that you have to be around people you don't like sometimes? I feel like I am being unfair to my own child.
06-05-2012, 07:56 AM
How old are the kids? What are the reasons your child says they don't like the DCK? Are they competitive? Is it just one of those situations where they just don't click or mesh well and there aren't really any specifics?
I feel for your child as this is HIS home and HIS mother so I totally understand. My own DS hated most the DCK's and it was tough to deal with it. I was/am lucky enough that I don't live in my daycare so he went home when he got old enough to do so and I enrolled him in summer day camp just to keep him separate as much as possible.
The ironic thing was I started daycare because my son was "one of those kids" that most of us vent about. Just didn't do well, HATED daycare and was termed 2 times before age 15 months for constant crying and never adjusting. :rolleyes: :o
If you are financially able to and the situation is really bad, I would consider terming. I feel so badly for kids who HAVE to grow up in daycare when there are situations like this. :(
06-05-2012, 09:15 AM
I think it would depend on the reason they dont get a long....
06-05-2012, 10:17 AM
I would consider terming. It sounds like it is bad enough to do so. I wouldn't feel bad for doing it as you need to do what is best for your family.
I had a dck my Dd didn't like. She played with dck ok and was nice to her, but was honest with me about it and was glad when she left.
06-05-2012, 10:33 AM
My own doesnt like the dck because he is a mean, difficult to be around, pain in the behind. My child makes friends with everyone but I think she has just had enough. They arent competitive so I dont think thats the reason.
I find myself punishing my own child because of behavior when this dck is here but once I started putting two and two together I realized it was all surrounding this dck. Days when he is not here my own is happier, more willing to cooperate etc. Last night, my own cried when I said that dck was coming. My guilt set it. I dont want my own child a prisioner in their own home.
06-05-2012, 10:54 AM
I would tell the mom the truth. It is just not working and it is affecting your childs happiness. I would give her 2 weeks to find something suitable and if she finds something before she does not have to give notice that they are leaving early. Unless a child is under 2 they can always find an opening somewhere.
06-05-2012, 11:04 AM
I agree with terming. This is a topic I have been really looking into. I wish there was more out there to support providers and their children and the effects positive and negative home child care has.
I would have a meeting with a the parent and say that the program is no longer meeting the needs of her child. That the two children don't mesh and you can't have that in your home. School and out in the world is one thing but this is your child and their home. Don't be surprised if they just don't come back.
Terming is always hard but we are all here for you! Stay strong and stick to your guns. This is what is best for your child!
06-06-2012, 09:03 AM
I just termed a child who did not get along with my DD. Unfortunately 90% of the negative interaction was the DCK's fault and not my DD. If it were more my DD's fault I would have kept her to teach my DD tolerance and social skills. This kid would deliberately try to tick my DD off constantly and was sometimes just plain mean. For example outside they would use a playhouse to pretend to sell ice cream and when my DD would come to order she'd slam the window in her face :( When she didn't get her own way she would tantrum and cry and this in turn would upset my DD. My DD would also get upset when I told her tis child was coming.
I just decided that my DD's well being was my #1 concern so I termed! Things have been 100% better ever since :)
06-06-2012, 08:44 PM
I'd consider terming if you can swing it financially and if the child is truly a pest.
My children like some of the DCC and dislike others. There's no real reason for the ones they don't like and they still play with them even though they "don't like" them.
I've had many talks with my own children that this is how I earn a living for us and if I didn't do daycare at home they would have to GO to a daycare, with way worse children and no mama! They always settle out after that.
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