Biting @ Daycare

[judy]

I am very concerned about a situation at a licensed daycare center. What is the policy on handling a child who is biting other children multiple times daily? The child I am concerned about has been bitten multiple times daily, breaking the skin and bruising on 9 days in a short period of time by the same child. He is not the only child @ the day care who is being bitten. Also, the aggressive child who does the biting is also kicking other children. When I talked to the staff they said there was nothing they could do. I believe this is a staffing issue. It has become such an issue that I have filed a report with Department of Social Services. What information can you give me? Where do I find this information?

[Unregistered]

Here is a piece that I found on the internet for why children bite:

It happens in all daycare.

Very young children are often biters not so much out of anger but out of frustration at not being able to speak. They know they are supposed to use their mouths, so they use them differently. Generally, biting clears up when a child can make his/her needs known in language.

Here is one course of action that is effective with children under three. One teacher is assigned to "shadow" the biter. If one teacher is with that child constantly, it is very often possible to restrain the biter when you see him/her getting ready to bite. Then you repeat the rule -"We do not bite. We use words." (If the child has no words, you can say them yourself. "I know you're angry because you can't use that toy right now, right? But you cannot bite for ANY reason.")

Then you can remove the child from the situation if it is warranted. Sometimes, if you've stopped the bite before it's occurred, the child can continue to play.
Now, this works only if the child is watched CONSTANTLY, which is a very difficult task. It's best to have teachers take turns being the shadow. If you have the luxury of enough teachers, however, this is an effective method of helping a biter to stop biting and start talking.

[Unregistered]

If reasonable efforts have been made and the child continues to bite and hit children or staff, I believe that he or she may be expelled from the daycare. The staff should first try to work with the parents to see if there are reasonable ways of curbing the behavior. Each situation must be considered individually.

[HRH]

same exact thing happened to us. they told us the same things. could not even tell us which child bit our child.

[Unregistered]

Children in daycare are too be watched at all times. Of course they can do something about it. They can watch the child and when he/she starts too bite another child, they should remove the biter from the area and explain that he/she can not bite....period. If that doesn't work after a few days, the child should be removed for the other children in care too be safe. I would also ask too speak too the parents of that child, if mine was on the other end of those bites.

[Unregistered]

I don't get whay day care's keep around these aggresive children. In a matter of one weeks time my daughter has been bit 2X by the same 3 year old bully. This Bully is hitting and pinching the teacher, tackled antoher student and was pulled off just before biting. The school made me feel as if it was Okay because the other child has been with the day care longer and her mother pays more money for her to be there. Can I go through the state to fix this problem since the school seem to want to sweep it under the rug?

[Kelly]

It is up to the daycare to separate the untruly child. I would think that after the third incident that the daycare has the right to remove the child from the class. You might want to check with your state's regulations at:

http://daycare.com/states.html

[Unregistered]

I can tell you why aggressive behavior is allowed.
Providers may not like what I am about to share, but it is the truth...
States are pushing towards child led everything. They have taken the rights away for any punishment except time outs. Sure, they can oust the child out of their program, but if competition is stiff, they aren't going to want to give up their income. Then you have Quality ratings. They set the standard for this 1,2,3,4, or 5 star quality that everybody wants to receive so badly because it means they can carry that title. But, do you realize that within this quality ratings, you are so limited on what you can and can't do with children, including what and how you teach. A child expressing aggressive behavior must be left alone, and area cleared so as not to hurt him/herself. That's right, let them have their fit... it's okayyy. Don't make them do ANYTHING they don't want to do... it's all child led. Check out what high scope learning is all about, you'll see some of what I am describing. It'll blow your mind. They tell us that preschoolers shouldn't be taught fundamentals, like letters and numbers (they'll learn that soon and easy enough in K.) and they aren't ready for that kind of structure, it's too hard for them. BUT, let the child lead what you teach. Oh, yes... never teach anything that has clear cut answers, always teach open-ended subjects, where there is no wrong answer, and take away any games that are competition so they don't "experience losing" rather, don't teach them to be a good sport, so we will just make sure that there are enough chairs out when playing musical chairs and never take one out when the music stops. It makes my head spin. Then we wonder, why are there so many aggressive children, no manners, no values? It's because the parents aren't with their children enough and teachers aren't allowed to teach. That's why.
Oh, by the way... I am a preschool teacher with an education. I refuse to be conformed by their low standards and low expectations of children. The children in my preschool are well behaved, happy, and know how to be a friend, and have fun, even when they are the ones left standing when playing musical chairs.

[Unregistered]

I apologize to all of the victims of bites, but please do not think that the parents of the biter are not good parents. I am saddened that my child hurts others when threatened or when he wants his way and we did not teach him this behavior. He is disciplined at school with time outs and we also discipline at home when he bites at school. My son does not just go around biting children; he bites in times of conflict with another child. We are working with him to use his words and talk to the daycare workers when conflicts occur, but we must also remember that it is harder for some children to master self-control and using words in times of frustration. I know that parents of the biter feel terrible about it and we are parents just like you wanting our children to learn appropriate ways of playing with other children. I work and so does my husband, my child should not be kicked out of daycare. We should instead work together with constant reminders and praise of positive behaviors, time-outs when biting occurs and increased supervision during times of close free play with other children. Especially if it particularly one child who is being bitten. My child has not bitten as much as some of the stories you have mentioned, just having some difficulty with one child in particular during playtime and it has happened 5 times in the past month. Praying for all children and their parents the bitees and the biters.

[Michael]

Well said. It happens in all Daycare. Many parents of bitten children think that the biting child or the parent has a problem in the home. Children who can not, or are too young, to express themselves, do so by biting. This is normal. They are in a new environment which can be both frustrating and make a child anxious. It is important at that time to make sure the provider takes the time to adjust the child in expressing themselves more effectively. Limited separation is fine. Expelling a child should used only be a last resort. Understanding is what is needed.

[Unregistered]

Yesterday my son got kicked out of the daycare, let me explain the story. When my son was born i had to put him in a daycare, he was not but a few months old when a little girl a year and a half older then him started biting him, well the provider would never tell us about it or produce reports, so one day i decided to watch her, the little girl walked up to my son and bit him on the back 2 times, the provider was staring at her the whole time this is going on, she did not fuss the little girl but instead fussed my son who did nothing. so i took him out of there and put him in another daycare, well he started biting there, but it wasn't all the time, accually the only time he would bite was when he was biten first, well yesterday he bite a little boy in the face, the daycare called me up and told me i needed to pick up my son and he was no longer welcomed back, when i got there she had all of his stuff in a bag waiting for me at the front door. i was irate with this, then i called her later to find out about something else and she proceeded to tell me that they excluded him from the halloween party and made him watch the other kids in there costumes and getting candy while he was being punished and waiting for me. what would you do in my situation

[Sheri]

Sadly, our son was kicked out of a private school when he was 6 years old. It was nothing more than his crying which disrupted the class. There is nothing that we can do but change the environment of our children to a more harmonious one. It seems like we are always searching for an adequate and understanding place for our children to learn but it is hard to find the right one. Most daycare are private businesses and we need to remember that. There are state requirements that must be followed but the bottom line is that it is a business and some operators do not want any disruption or can not handle it adequately. For those children that "don't fit in" we should continue looking for a one that has a true interest in the advancement of our kids. Otherwise homeschooling might be an option. It is a sacrifice of a parent's time but well worth the effort and time spent on life’s most precious gift

[Unregistered]

I too am an educated, degreed preschool teacher. My classroom is harmonious and CHILD CENTERED. We have had a few behavior problems (mostly pushing, pinching, etc)

Let me first explain that young children do not necessarily have the vocabulary to express themselves. It is our duty to help these children find THEIR words. This can be a daunting task for children (and adults.) When an adult is angry, we have the ability to calm ourselves; this is not the case with very young children. They are still learning coping techniques. Empower these children by reviewing rules daily, posting visual signs to remind them, create social stories to read.

Also, allow me to speak for a moment on HOW young children learn. Young children learn through play. They construct knowledge through manipulating the world around them. Worksheets do little to increase a young child's knowledge. Worksheets and 'concepts' are abstract and young children are unable to think abstractly. Young children are concrete thinkers.

[Kelly]

Well said! Would love to hear more on your techniques and scheduling the children in your school.

[Unregistered]

As an educated Director of a daycare, I understand where parents are coming from. We have had many biters in our time, one was asked to leave. This child was placed with a nanny that had one other child, so the child could be closely monitored. It seemed to work for her.
Yet, for the daycare it comes down to ratio's of staff to children. Different states have different ratio's. It would be great if in a class of 8 toddlers with 2 teachers that one of the teachers could shadow the child all day. But then the other teacher now has 7 children to watch. I have watched a biter diligently and it just takes a quick turn of the childs head and the bite is given.
I would recommend that the parents talk to the teachers. If the teachers don't seem to care, then talk to the Director. If the Director doesn't care, you probably want to find another center. If they don't care about the biting, what else don't they care about?

[RNmom]

I am the mother of an a very sweet 18 month old that started biting shortly after starting daycare two months ago. Until then he had only been cared for by family or friends. He loves to play and cuddle, cries when we leave the room- I thought it was the perfect time for him to enter an environment with organized play while everyone stays in the same room! He started to bite his older sibs at home and quickly stopped doing so after stern words and a short “time out”. The day care director assures me that his biting is not out of anger, aggression or frustrated. I have addressed HALTS with her (common reasons for toddler to bite, including Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Teething, or Sleepy), adding a late snack-that he may or may not get. No new teeth and 4 hour naps rule out the other two. I have attached a pacifier to his shirt-which he never used before. I have even had an early prevention professional come in and assess him and the class. She claims the reason he bites seems to be related to his lack of communication-despite his use of sign language. Still he continues to bite, sometimes twice in one hour. Today I was told he was a “danger to the classroom”. It is becoming my belief that some settings just might not be a good fit for a particular child/personality. Maybe the “lonely” aspect of HALTS is not being addressed. And if these child care professionals are so frustrated with my child, are they really providing optimal care?

[Unregistered]

Unfortunatly that's the flaw of the daycare/working parent system. It's just not ideal. I have no doubt that most daycare providers do their best, but they still have to care for mutliple children at once which is hard for anyone. The truth is if you put your child into child care you're going to have to be prepared for these types of things to happen. If you're unhappy with the situation find a different one. Either pay top dollar for one with low ratios or stay home with your child.

[Mom of a Biter]

First off, I am going to say that my son has had the habit of biting, along with other undesirable aggressive behavior at daycare. This seems to have increased over the last year since he was transitioned over into a new classroom. Secondly I want to say that no, my son does not bite at home. He's a typical toddler with his mood swings and acts of frustration, but he doesn't dare to bite anyone at home.

Thirdly, please don't consider these small children bullies because they haven't yet learned how to effectively and properly deal with their frustration. Nothing is more frustrating than being the parent of a biter and not being able to do anything when the daycare providers don't seem to care one way or another.

I've had discussions with his teacher about his biting. I've given her some tips to try to help prevent his biting other children. His teacher puts him in time out and that's it. She's seen how I discipline him: time out, then I get down to his level and explain that biting hurts our friends and we don't like to hurt the people we care about. But the providers unfortunately don't have time to watch every child closely. That's understandable.

My son no longer bites other children. He's getting better at expressing his frustrations and we're moving him to another daycare where the ratio is better than 10:1.

At this stage, biting and aggressive behavior is something that our children eventually grow out of. The behavior has no bearing on parenting abilities, education level or development of the aggressive child.

And to answer an earlier mention of why the daycare wouldn't provide the name of the child that did the biting.. think of it this way

Your child bit another child
That child's parent found out it was your child that did it
The parent confronts you and questions your abilities as a parent
(add any other kind of scenario)
It's for the protection of the child (and the parent, IMO)

[MOM WHO HAD ENOUGH]

my son was repeatedly bitten, hit, etc by a bigger child. i complained and got all the same responses and "lines". i finally told them they needed to give the other parents a heads up because i was going to file an assault charge against the child the next time he touched my child. (not that i would have) but would you believe it stopped instantly and completely?

hmmmmmm?

[MLB]

As a director I can say that this is always a sticky situation. We are not allowed to tell who bit either. This policy protects all families in the center. Kids do bite for several reasons so it is hard to have an iron clad policy. Dismissal is the last resort but sometimes necessary when looking out for a whole group. We can't make everyone happy we either have the biter's parents upset with us for not handling the situation or the one that got bit parents all upset about what we are going to do to fix it. It depends on why their biting, where, how hard, how frequent. Just because we have to occasionally disenroll children for biting does not mean we do not care about the kids or if we keep a biter that we are just in it for the finances. Hence, we are always in the middle of a sticky situation. Shadowing sounds great but is usually not reasonable in a group setting with ratios. There is no set answer for this problem but if your childcare has been reasonable then try to understand the decisions that they have to make. It is just a part of life and being vendictive and filling complaints and making threats is just silly and a waste of perfectly good energy that could be used to better your child's situation.

[Unregistered]

Our toddler is being bitten by another baby in day care in his back and the bites are very bad and he has started kicking, biting and slapping me now also. I am more concerned about what the teacher does in this situation when he/he becomes aware of it. I am very worried that my son is taught that biting is not OK and that what happened to him is explained in a way he can understand - I do not want him to do the same thing to others as a reaction which is already the case. What are daycare teacher taught on this?

[lpurvis]

I removed my child from one center because my child was bitten 7 times in a course of a month and half after moving up to the toddler room. My ex-center seemed to take NO action, and gave no extra 'eyes' to watch the kid that was biting.
My dd has been in her new center for almost 2 weeks, we haven't had the FIRST bite or the first scratch, bruise, nothing. She was constantly bruised and scratched at the old place.

I think it all boils down to WATCHING the kids.

[Unregistered]

So, my son use to bite alot, went to every doctor, shrink known to man. Finally, we got six months and no biting. As of last week, my son bit due to fighting over a toy at daycare. Well, my son is 4 and today he got suspended from school due to a child stating he bit him.
So, what is the best course of action and do they understand punishment and for how long? I am desperate and so tired of the tears.. any help would be great.

Crying Mom

[praetorian]

Well, this is my first post to the forums and I wish I didn't have to make it.

I am in a bit of a unique situation I think. My son (5) and daughter (16 months) are in a 5-star, NAEYC accredited learning center that is owned/run by the pharmaceutical company I work for. I DO have to pay for my children's care, but at a reduced rate since I am among the lowest paid employees of the company.

My daughter has become the repeated victim of biting. In the last 2-3 months she has been bitten 7 times. At least 3 of the bites were by the same child, although some of the other bites were from different children. I have spoken to the director of the daycare and she has confirmed that there are several children in the class who are in a biting stage. I understand that it could just as easily hae been my daughter biting other children and that there is very little that can be done to stop the biting, but it is still VERY frustrating. Each bite had left bruises and scrapes, although none of them, luckily, have broken the skin. In EVERY case the reports have stated that the bite was completely unprevoked. The director explained the centers policy to me which amounts to watching the biter when there are extra teachers to put in the room, which is seldom to never.

After the last incident, the center hired an outside counselor to come in for a "bag lunch workshop" for the parents to help them learn thing to do at home to try andchange the biters behavior patterns. The workshop was on Monday and I found out today that not a single parent of any of the biter children came to the workshop. being that this is a company owned daycare, every one of the parent/employees could have easily gotten off work for the workshop.

It seems to me that the parents of the biters don't care about my daughter (and other kids in the class) being bitten over and over again. The daycare is aparently going to do NOTHING else at this time.

Because of the discounted rate, and my wife and my work start times, I can't pull my kids out and put them in a different center, besides which I don't think that my children should have to leave.

Any thoughts/comments/advise would be appreciated.

Thanks

[mac60]

I know some are not going to like my comments, but, I am from the old school. I feel that if a child bites, especially a child that is 2 years old and up and should understand NO, they deserve to be punished, and I don't mean a time out, I mean a spanking. Haven't parents noticed lately how children act these days. It is because there are no consequences for their bad behavior, and I am sorry, but a time out in the corner for a few minutes is not punishment. Yes, I believe in punishment/consequences for bad behavior. At some point a child will learn, bite someone get spanked. It is amazing how our society the past 15 years has become oblivious to bad behavior out of children. And then when you have the government stepping in and telling parents how they can discipline their children, it is rediculous. Until parents once again own the right to discipline their children for poor behavior, it is going to continue to get worse. And right now it is bad enough.

[Unregistered]

I have read this entire thread, thank you for your thoughts. I come from a different perspective. I'm a lead teacher in a room with a child who bites. She is almost 18 months old and has been biting for 6 months now. She bites several times a day, some children getting bitten 3+ times in one day, let alone a week. Other parents are upset, obviously and rightfully so. We are staying at ratio (1 staff to 4 kids) and no matter how much we watch her, she still bites someone. Just the turn of a head is all it takes. She will do it just after nap time, just after eating, when standing next to someone, will walk across the room to find someone to bite, rarely is it over a toy (which is one we do understand), there is no real pattern to her behavior, other than her biting. We've tried the 'no' technique, time out, talking to her, keeping her away from other kids (but then she goes looking for a child to bite), we've given her her pacifier which did work but now she takes it out to bite a child-same with her 'blankie'. What else can a teacher honestly do? I can't watch just her, I have other children in the room as well. I don't want to isolate her, it's not fair for her either. Oh, another catch-the biggest catch of all...she's the director's daughter. Definitely open to ideas!!!

[Peggy]

That is an interesting part of the story. I wonder if she knows her mom is the boss. Maybe she feels she deserves more respect. Why not awarding her the "princess of the day crown" for a day and see if she still bites in that period. Could tell a lot by it IMO.

[Unregistered]

I echo many of your thoughts and concerns. Everyone, please read the book "No Biting" by Gretchen Kinnell. I think you will find it very helpful. My son has been expelled from three daycares. He started biting at 10 months old and is now 25 months old. (Interesting note: my sone only bites at daycare and usually only his peers as a result of a conflict) Biting does happen, and it is unfortunately an expected behavior. The formentioned book is directed to daycare providers, but as a parent of a child with a biting issue, I found it very helpful. I am a very concerned parent and I have done everything to the best of my knowlege regarding my son's biting, but the answers are not as easy as some of you think. I wish everyone on this thread the best. I could writ a book of my own regarding my experience. Whether you are a parent of a child that has been bitten, a parent of a child that is biting, or a child care provider, we all have a responsibility to helping this behavior cease. Good luck to all!

[Unregistered]

My biters have to spend the day at my side! I also have a 3 strikes your out policy! My children are 5 and 15 years old now and when they bit me, i bit them back. And hey guess what, they never, ever did it again! I to agree that they should be punished and not with a time out, but not by me, by there parents! However, if I'm bit by a daycare child, parents will be called and they will have to find other care no notice, no nothing, just take your children and leave! To me it is about respect and children must learn that early in life. And for the parents out there that just stick there head in the sand and say "Oh really he/she doesn't do that at home.........bull, they do so, you just fail to see it!

[Unregistered]

It depends on the child-and yes the staffing needs to step up and be alert more. No age is acceptable to biting, but it is up to the staff to take action to all ages. I have been a preschool teacher for 18 yrs. A child who is 1-3 uses biting for "feelings-" some are teething, while this is a source of "touch-" however a older 3 yr old does know that biting hurts and will use it out of anger-to redirect any age is the best-the biter needs to be monitored more-and if I were you, honestly-I'd tell the "director" that if something isn't done YES you are filing a report-if your child is the one being bite-are you getting accident reports this is happening? What time? What was the child doing? Etc-all accidents in center-base or in-home should be documented for the safety of the one getting bite, the biter, and the center. BITING is serious-and can be stopped. Hope I pushed you to be more aggressive-your child's safety IS your responsibiliy-STEP UP- :-) I'm behind you.

[Unregistered]

Here is what I believe. I get it that children bite. Once, time out, twice - if you call the parents and they no longer have child care, they will take them to the dr or whatever it takes to change the behavior. If the child has a disorder - it can be corrected - hate to say it, but sorry - no daycare. If the parents don't like it, I agree, file a charge against them - either assault or against the parents for neglect. They will take notice and either correct the behavior or take them to a dr.

[Unregistered]

I've been quite reasonable with our daycare and not over-reacting to a few bites here and there. Recently, the same child has biten my son 4 times in one week. I can handle small bites out of frustration, due to not having the appropriate communication skills, but it's when the bites become very severe that I cannot stande idle. When you pick your son up and he has a wound on his arm as if someone put his 1 inch arm in a vice and tightened it until it bled, you start to think differently about allowing the biting child to remain amongst the group. Sure, i'm sorry for the parents of the biter and realize i could have been the parent of child with a behavior issue, and may some day be, but that simply does not change the fact that i have to leave my child every morning in a room where another child is waiting to inflict bodily harm to him. When our son was younger, he began developing certain behaviors that ALL kids do. It's what you do in response to those behaviors in combination with your child's developmental capabilities that will either stop them or fail to. I think I've told my son, "Use your words" (signs before speach developed or even just holding him and making him point at what he wanted - lots of trial and error at very young ages), more than 5,000 times in his short two years. Now that he has developed a strong vocabulary, we do not let him get away with ANYTHING unless he manifests his desires in words. If he cries or even whines in the smallest way, he does not get what he wants until he talks in a normal voice, asks nicely, and says thank you. It has changed everything and he is such a good little boy. Some parents may do this but it must be done all the time and in every situation. It also stimulates language development. Tomorrow, we are going to ask our daycare to make some drastic changes to protect our son. I wish we did not have to but I cannot put my son in harms way each day and just go on to work and be content and wait for someone else to fix things.

[Unregistered]

I feel sorry for whoever uses your daycare. I have 3 boys the first 2 never bit but did get bitten-I did not like it but understood that it was part of their growing and learning process. It was resolved with time. Now my 3rd has just changed to a new daycare and has bitten 3 times. They have the same policy and said that one more time and he could not come back. Let me tell you this he is a good little boy and we just withdrew him and are going somewhere where the people are willing to help him and work with him/us to resolve this problem. He has never bitten before and it is a shame that he had a hard time adjusting and was just given up on. so you don't know every situation and each child is different. from someone who has been on both sides of this you should be ashamed of yourself. these are little children that need help and correction not to just be dismissed like a bad dog. They are all little children of god and he loves each one the same. Some just need more work. Good thing he doesn't give up on us so fast hu!!
My biters have to spend the day at my side! I also have a 3 strikes your out policy! My children are 5 and 15 years old now and when they bit me, i bit them back. And hey guess what, they never, ever did it again! I to agree that they should be punished and not with a time out, but not by me, by there parents! However, if I'm bit by a daycare child, parents will be called and they will have to find other care no notice, no nothing, just take your children and leave! To me it is about respect and children must learn that early in life. And for the parents out there that just stick there head in the sand and say "Oh really he/she doesn't do that at home.........bull, they do so, you just fail to see it!

[Unregistered]

I feel sorry for whoever uses your daycare. I have 3 boys the first 2 never bit but did get bitten-I did not like it but understood that it was part of their growing and learning process. It was resolved with time. Now my 3rd has just changed to a new daycare and has bitten 3 times. They have the same policy and said that one more time and he could not come back. Let me tell you this he is a good little boy and we just withdrew him and are going somewhere where the people are willing to help him and work with him/us to resolve this problem. He has never bitten before and it is a shame that he had a hard time adjusting and was just given up on. so you don't know every situation and each child is different. from someone who has been on both sides of this you should be ashamed of yourself. these are little children that need help and correction not to just be dismissed like a bad dog. They are all little children of god and he loves each one the same. Some just need more work. Good thing he doesn't give up on us so fast hu!!

I take it your not a daycare provider? Do you realize that daycare providers/ and daycare centers can be sued by the parents of the child/children that were bit? You make it sound as though providers just discipline the action! Listen, I am very well schooled in the job that i do but i do have to protect not only my children but the children that have been placed in my care. I provide a well-organized, well-supervised, and stimulating atmosphere for the children in my care. IE the 3 strikes your out policy, i work with my parents to come to a solution together. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't and the child may need more care than i can give! I don't think it is the jobs of us daycare providers to have to put up with aggressive, disruptive, or destructive behavior. I have more than one child in my care, so do you think it is fair to the other children to have all my time taken up by this one child with the bad behavior? How long are us daycare providers expected to put up with this type of behavior? I am here to provide for your children, not raise them!!!!!!

[Unregistered]

My son is in a daycare center. When he was just 6 months old and still in a swing he was bite on the head - first day. Now he has moved to the toddler room at 15 months. The same kid that bit him on his first day is now in the toddler room. She bites my son almost every day. He has large bruises on both arms. We've been in the toddler room with the biter for two weeks. The daycare ladies say that my son doesn't respect her space and that's why she bites. I've very concerned. I'm thinking of taking my son out. He was well cared for in the baby room and we had no problems because the bitter went to the toddler room a few days after we started in the baby room. Any suggestions?

[DCMom]

Biting is such a difficult thing for all concerned~the biter, the bitee and the provider.

This conversation came up with my in-home childcare provider. Another parent at the dc has a 4 yo at my daycare and an 18 mo old at a different daycare because our daycare doesn't currently have an opening for under 2. At any rate, she was not happy with the way the other provider was handling her other daughter getting bitten. She felt like her child was being punished for being bit. It prompted her to ask how our common provider handles biting. She said she has not had a biter in several years but the way she would handle it is as such (which I found interesting). She said she has a zero tolerance for biting. Since biting generally happens in the toddler years, she 'contains' them the first time they bite. She immediately separates the biter, whether in a exersaucer or a porta crib whatever is handy with a 'NO BITING' (effectively a time out for toddlers) The bitee gets all sorts of attention, the biter is shown the mark that they made. After the bitee is comforted, she releases the biter and shadows him/her. If the biting happens again, the parent is called and the biter is isolated, within the room, but isolated for a longer period of time. Any issues for the biter are addressed with the parent (HALTS was mentioned in an earlier post). It is a whole process that could take pages, but the gist of it is the biter is made aware that biting is bad and the bitees are given the attention. As many times and to the degree necessary. She said she had one child many years ago that had a corner in the daycare room that was hers alone to play in (had fence type thing she used to make a giant playpen). The biter was allowed out for short periods, but as soon as she tried to bite someone (again shadowing) she went right back into her spot (all sanctioned by the parents). Eventually she figured out she could be with the other kids if she didn't bite them. I personally think that would be exhausting for a provider~this woman has the patience of a saint.

Something I wonder about is in her 16 years as a provider 'she can count on one hand the # of biters she has had'. She said it has always been resolved in a very short amount of time and she has never had to expel anyone because of it. Is it supervision, is it the overall atmosphere of the daycare (ie: zero tolerance), is it mixed ages together rather than a roomful of toddlers, the number of kids or just dumb luck? I don't know that there is any 'right' answer for every child. I hope I never have to deal with it...

[Unregistered]

my child was at a DC where they did absolutly nothing about biting, as far as i can tell. my child was the Bitee, almost constantly by this one other child. We have since moved to a new daycare, and now my child is the biter.
This new facility does have a policy, and we are working with them, but its so frustrating, since we have to recondition our child to unlearn the bad habits that were picked up from the old school.

[Unregistered]

My biters have to spend the day at my side! I also have a 3 strikes your out policy! My children are 5 and 15 years old now and when they bit me, i bit them back. And hey guess what, they never, ever did it again! I to agree that they should be punished and not with a time out, but not by me, by there parents! However, if I'm bit by a daycare child, parents will be called and they will have to find other care no notice, no nothing, just take your children and leave! To me it is about respect and children must learn that early in life. And for the parents out there that just stick there head in the sand and say "Oh really he/she doesn't do that at home.........bull, they do so, you just fail to see it!

Actually.. I DO NOT AGREE WITH YOUR COMMENT.. "OH REALLY HE/SHE DOESN'T DO THAT AT HOME... bull, they do so, you just fail to see it"
My son is 2 1/2 yrs old and NOT ONCE has he bit at home!! It has been at Daycare every single time! He doesn't bite anyone in the household. NOT EVEN HIS TOYS!! HE ONLY BITES AT DAYCARE. From what you are saying, you make the parents of the children feel like it IS their fault! What are you saying we are bad parents!? Your comment has made me very upset. And by calling their parents to have them come get them ISN'T going to do anything! THat is just going to make matters worse, obv. you can't control, what makes you think parents can?! Do you not understand the child care providers are basically like a parent also to the children? They see you guys more sometimes than they see their own parents!!! I give my son 100% of my attention, and he DOESN'T do any of the stuff he does at daycare. That right there proves to me that he isn't well cared for at daycare. It really upsets me when I go to pick him up and they say "Oh he bit a child today so and so" it does upset me, because I do disicpline him at home. I do pay attention to him at home. Then you say this!? That all we do is fail to see it?!

[Unregistered]

My son was kicked out Daycare today for biting. Unfortunatley this is not the first time. When it started he was about 18 months and the day care he was in started sending him home about once a week for biting. Then they kicked him out. I tried everything, there were no other daycares with openings and I had to quit my job. I made up my mind to take some time off with him and try to let him mature. I stayed home with him for a year. When I first put him in daycare again he did not bite. He started a few months after. I was getting called to pick him up all the time. So I switched him to another daycare before he could get kicked out again. Once again he did not bite for a month or so. Then he started biting at that daycare too. My child was refered to special education for learing disabilities, so I had to move to a daycare in the school district so he could get picked up. He did not bite at first at this new Daycare either. Then he started bitting everyday. This morning when I went to drop him off, the director told me that the State called and said my son could no longer attend the daycare because he had bit another child and caused the child to bleed. I dont know what to do. The family doctor never has any answers, so I'm wondering what type of doctor I should take him to? Does anyone know if he can go to another daycare now that he has been reported by the state? I dont want to have to keep moving him around but I need to work. It's really not fair that he has to keep going through adjusting over and over again. I also have a daughter who each time this happens has to start over again at a new daycare and hard for her as well.

[Unregistered]

Actually.. I DO NOT AGREE WITH YOUR COMMENT.. "OH REALLY HE/SHE DOESN'T DO THAT AT HOME... bull, they do so, you just fail to see it"
My son is 2 1/2 yrs old and NOT ONCE has he bit at home!! It has been at Daycare every single time! He doesn't bite anyone in the household. NOT EVEN HIS TOYS!! HE ONLY BITES AT DAYCARE. From what you are saying, you make the parents of the children feel like it IS their fault! What are you saying we are bad parents!? Your comment has made me very upset. And by calling their parents to have them come get them ISN'T going to do anything! THat is just going to make matters worse, obv. you can't control, what makes you think parents can?! Do you not understand the child care providers are basically like a parent also to the children? They see you guys more sometimes than they see their own parents!!! I give my son 100% of my attention, and he DOESN'T do any of the stuff he does at daycare. That right there proves to me that he isn't well cared for at daycare. It really upsets me when I go to pick him up and they say "Oh he bit a child today so and so" it does upset me, because I do disicpline him at home. I do pay attention to him at home. Then you say this!? That all we do is fail to see it?!


This is exactly what i'm talking about!!! Ye Ole "my child doesn't do that at home" and ya know what, every single provider out there knows exactly what I'm talking about! No one ever said anything about anyone being bad parents. And i really don't care if your upset! I have other children to take care of......period!!! And yes, calling the parents would do something.......It would remove the bitter from my care and hence giving the other children the chance to grow and develop without being bit! Let me tell you something........I had a biter in my care for 2 years.......i gave him 2 YEARS so to say that we providers don't work with these types of children are just bogus! The straw that broke the camels back was that he bit one of my daycare kids so hard that she had to go to the ER all because he wanted the toy that she was playing with!!! Now do you think thats fair to that child and that childs parent to have to come to daycare afraid and scared that she may be bit again.......No its NOT! There are daycares out there that have people on their staff that will work more in depth with that child and parent, However I'm not one of them! I don't have to be one of them! Oh and don't feel Sorry for the children in my care, for #1. My parents are very, very happy with the care i provide and for #2. they don't need your pity!!! I have "raised"(along side of some excellent parents) some very, very well adjusted and intelligent children, that have entered into school grade levels above their peers!

[Unregistered]

I will spare everyone the details, but my story mirrors many of your stories. There is a wonderful book called NO BITING. You can find it on Amazon.com. After my son was expelled from many well-meaning schools, I came upon this book and it changed the way I thought about biting. The cure for biting is a process and one cannot expect a young child to stop just because it is what adults want. Each child is different and the reason for a child to bite may differ from child to child. Please read NO BITING and lend a copy to your daycare provider. It really did help my son and me.

[Unregistered]

I too think it's interesting that someone who supposedly knows children advocates biting them back when they bite. I am a childcare provider, and as such make it my business to understand NORMAL childhood stages and also to know and advocate educated safe ways to deal with and correct unacceptable behavior. She didn't say how her children turned out, did she? Is her last name "Dahmer" by any chance? :-)

I feel sorry for whoever uses your daycare. I have 3 boys the first 2 never bit but did get bitten-I did not like it but understood that it was part of their growing and learning process. It was resolved with time. Now my 3rd has just changed to a new daycare and has bitten 3 times. They have the same policy and said that one more time and he could not come back. Let me tell you this he is a good little boy and we just withdrew him and are going somewhere where the people are willing to help him and work with him/us to resolve this problem. He has never bitten before and it is a shame that he had a hard time adjusting and was just given up on. so you don't know every situation and each child is different. from someone who has been on both sides of this you should be ashamed of yourself. these are little children that need help and correction not to just be dismissed like a bad dog. They are all little children of god and he loves each one the same. Some just need more work. Good thing he doesn't give up on us so fast hu!!

[Unregistered]

As a director of a childcare center, I know that nothing makes parents more angry than their infant or toddler getting bitten. We have a little guy that got bitten a lot from his old childcare center, they pulled him and brought him to us, and SURPRISE, he started biting. A lot. We have a policy that after three times in a day, we send them home. We were sending this little guy home every day, and nothing was working. So, I logged when he was biting (usually around the hour before lunch), and I asked his mother to come in and shadow him for this time. He was done biting in less than three weeks. I've done this now twice and it's worked great. I know that most parents cannot afford to leave work for an hour or two, but it really does work well. It seems to even work better than another teacher shadowing the biter.

And yes, that biting book that was mentioned above is an awesome resource in child care centers!

[Unregistered]

I too think it's interesting that someone who supposedly knows children advocates biting them back when they bite. I am a childcare provider, and as such make it my business to understand NORMAL childhood stages and also to know and advocate educated safe ways to deal with and correct unacceptable behavior. She didn't say how her children turned out, did she? Is her last name "Dahmer" by any chance? :-)

I think you need to read my statement again.........I don't bit the daycare kids..are you crazy. Dahmer huh...........I bit my kids back sweetie i didn't eat them!!!!!!!!!! FYI- my children are well adjusted straight A students. They have learned that we don't use our teeth to get what we want. Oh and hey, my kids were never kicked out of daycare either for bitting or anything else! There are parents out there that are really concerned about this behavior and there are some that think its ok for there child to be able to do what ever the h**l they want, i take it your one of those parents!!!!

[Ms.Sue]

Our policy is that WE stop them! No child is ever allowed to bite.
And, it is the staff's responsibility! The need to pay attention and discipline when needed- or terminate the child that is biting.
That's ridiculous!!!
Maybe you threaten them with a law suit .,.maybe then they'll find the time to take some action.
However, that was a very good decision on your part to file a report --- but also contact her inspector - and turn them in for allowing abuse.
Ms.Sue

[Unregistered]

I posted on 09-18-2008. Here's what has happened. After my posting my son continue to be bit almost every day by some other toddler. Supposedly, 5 different toddlers and a different toddler each day. He always had a bruise on his face or arm. I looked and looked for other daycare. Finally, I decided to take him to another building run by the same daycare company. WHAT A DIFFERENCE!!! He hasn't been bit. He doesn't wake up screeming at night like he had a bad dream. It is just wonderfull. My advice. If you child is either bitting or being bit. Take the child to a different daycare. Almost curtain there is something going on at the daycare that is causing problems. It could be anything from the schedule, to the other childern, to even the daycare people. Who knows because the child can't tell you. But it does make a difference being in a different enviroment. The new center I do see that the lady's that work in the toddler room are much more caring and loving. They will actually pick up a child that is crying. The other daycare had a lady that I never saw her hold one of the toddlers except to pick them up to change them. She preferred to carry the clip board around to write notes down and keep up with her huge amount of paperwork she was always complaining about.

Advice for daycare centers. Find a way for the people working there to care for the childern and quit filling out paperwork! This was the 2nd daycare center I had this same problem with. Give them a specific time of day to step out to do the paperwork. Not expect to take up a toddler eating table to do the work. Toddlers and childern need attention and loving care. NOT SOMEONE WHO KNOWS HOW TO FILL PAPERWORK OUT!!!!

[Michael]

Thanks for the update! Remember, even before your baby is born, you are your child's best and most important advocate. It seems difficult after finally placing your child in a daycare to start thinking about finding another. There are choices and we need to find the ones that benefit our children the most. It is a constant quest for quality. For those looking for other daycare facilities:

http://daycare.com/listing.html

Our story:

http://daycare.com/story/index.html

[Unregistered]

It is so easy for a biter to bite, even when closely watched. I handle biters (actually all issues) with the parent/s knowing everything going on. A repeat biter is never left alone with others, they don't go inside closed tunnel play places (McDonald's, etc...), they will have to sit out or stay home and we explain why, it is a safety/health issue.
In every case of repeat biters, if a parent (only parent) bites a child back, they stop (I know many will object - but we have seen it work, every time "bunerous times"). It needs to be done carefully and on their finger, with the back teeth, as follows:
1. First the parent has to say "no biting, biting hurts, ouchy" (that plants the idea it hurts)
2. Take their finger and with back teeth, bite down just enough for it to not feel good and hold that pressure for about 5 seconds (not biting down any harder) Try it on yourself first, you don't have to bite hard, but holding a mild pressure does the trick (it can't be to soft or they will laugh and not feel the lesson). Make sure that after you do it, yoou say, ouchy, biting hurts (the words you use and the attitude you display, is very important) I have had so many parents try it and so many confirm biting works to show them it hurts. You might have to adjust the pressure, but it is the 5 seconds or so that makes them feel like they are being bit hard. Try it yourself, it isn't wounding them and it works. A biter can cause a lot of damage and get a child to be a repeat biter, getting kicked out of multiple daycares, which does more damage to the biter and can make them end up being a problem child.

[Unregistered]

My child just started at a new daycare and last thursday was bitten twice in the same arm by the same child. She was being shadowed after the first bite but when the second bite happened the teacher was tieing another child's shoe. They went the bitter home after the second bite that day. I kept him home from daycare friday. My guess is she would've bit him again that day as well. The following monday the same child bites my son on the face this time and she is immediately sent home. I'm irrate as you can imagine! All the center can tell me is that they are moving her to another room and that she is not being put on probation or anything else. The lady at the desk did share with me that my son is the second child she has bitten and keep in mind that she has now bit my son 3 times now, twice on the arm and 1 time on the face. They said if she bites while in the new room then she will be put on one week probation. All this seems like she is being given way too many chances and should have already been kicked out, especially after biting a child in the face. She has targeted my son the past 3 times she has bitten in a matter of days and no further action has been taken yet. I"m at a loss of what to do????? what do you think????

[Unregistered]

Dear Judy,
I worked in a licenced child care center for nearly 20 years. There was a boy many years ago who was CONSTANLY biting the children. Believe me he wasn't even 2 years old and he was quick!
Anyway the director was more concerned about money than her center. When several parents finally ganged up on her and said either you kick him out or we are taking our children out she got scared and asked him to leave. However this was a Tuesday and she told the parent that they could finish out the week.
Ironic it seemed that on that last Friday this biter bit the rocking chair SO hard it cracked the wood. The director said oh well...he's gone after today!
Sad to say but sometimes people see green before their eyes and not the children they are required to be caring for.

[Unregistered]

My child has been bitten like 5 times in the past month. They wont tell me if it is the same child or not. I think if it is they should be watching this child closer or removing the child from the day care. I'm unsure what I can do about the situation. I hate taking my son somewhere where he keeps getting bit.

[ConcernedMotherof2]

I've never spoken to a parent who hasn't gone through the biting phase. All children try it and every child is different in how they get over it. I am lucky that my children got over it rather quickly (maybe it was because they are very close in age and i was able to deal with it at home myself, rather than having to trust the day care staff). The worst situation I ever encountered with a biter was actually the child of the owner of the daycare my children were attending in Pennsylvania. The preschool teacher was unable to tell me which child was biting my children, but my children told me themselves. The confrontation was difficult... I tried to make it parent to parent, but it was also parent to daycare staff. However, I believe that the communication between the parent of the biter and the parent of the bitten child was essential in dealing with the problem. It took some time and a lot of patience on all of our parts, but doesn't every problem involving children take time and patience? There are no enemies when dealing with such a problem, and the more involved we are as parents, the quicker we can resolve behavior issues.

[Unregistered]

I have also had the same issue at the daycare that my son attends. He was playing outside and another child walked up and stuck his fingers in my sons mouth, so my son bit down. Well then the child grabbed my son's arm and nawed on it like an ear of corn breaking the skin. The staff didn't even bother to notify me about the incident until I picked him up at 6pm and it had happened at 3pm. I asked for a copy of the incident report, and the manager informed me that they don't file reports for incidents.

[Unregistered]

I've read some pretty interesting comments on this blog.. I am in search like many, it seems for help. My 2 year old son was just expelled from DC today for continual bitting. I can go on an explained the different things that happened that got us to this point, but I fear that it wouldn't matter. He doesn't bite at home because he is an only child, however on occasion he will bit my nieces and nephews when he is upset or frustrated. When he does bite them I quickly "spank" him and tell him no bitting and ask him to say sorry to the child that he has bitten. This has greatly curb his desire to bite children around me, At DC its a different story, to their credit they have tried to shadow him, and prevent bites when they see it coming, but everytime he does bite I get a report and on the third time that a report was written, they expelled him. Before expelling him the director did inform me that he was in danger of being expelled because he was on his second write up, and since I am not at the DC to "handle" the situation, I asked her what I should do at home with him and you know what she said? she said that I should pray. That is great advice and I do pray but that doesn't stop his bitting and less than a week later he got his third write up (today) and was expelled. My son has come home with lots of bit marks and scratches on his face, just yesterday he came home with two big knots on the back of his head, so now I am wondering what is the daycare doing? I am trying not to feel like this is my fault, that some how I am doing something wrong--Some of the comments I have read here makes the child who bites and their parents seem like criminals and that is crazy to me. I've heard the saying that parenting is the hardest job you will ever have and being a first time mom at 37 I am so agreeing. Tommorrow I will head to my nearest bookstore and get the book no more bitting and I will start my search for another daycare.This has definetly helped me.

[Unregistered]

Well said! Would love to hear more on your techniques and scheduling the children in your school.

Fabulously said!!! You're the type of teacher that every preschool classroom needs!

[Unregistered]

I have to say that I disagree with the earlier thread. No, not all biters bite at home! I am the mother of a three and a half year old son who bites. He does not do it everyday, maybe once a week. This is a new behavior. He has just recently starting going to a new daycare (within the last two weeks) nd that is when the behavior started. The teachers tell me that he is the only one in the class doing it. He has NEVER done it a home. It only happens when he is in an argument, or confrontation, usually over a toy. It does not mean that I am a bad parent or that I do not care about my child hurting other children. I am a very involved parent. I have done everything to get the behavior to stop. I thought it did. He didn't bite for one week, but then he did it today. I have spanked him, taken away toys/ privileges, even bitten him back! I am at my wits end and was reduced to tears today. He is a sweet kid and has no other problems. I just don't know how to get this behavior to stop.

[Pampered]

It happens in all daycare.

Very young children are often biters not so much out of anger but out of frustration at not being able to speak. They know they are supposed to use their mouths, so they use them differently. Generally, biting clears up when a child can make his/her needs known in language.

Just know that as he starts to use his words the biting will subside. There IS light at the end of the tunnel.

[foster84]

When I was preschool, I was kicked out of one school for biting. My mother told me that it wasn't aggressive with other children normally, and that it was mostly likely that I was tired and frustrated and the teachers weren't monitoring me closely enough.

[Unregistered]

I just removed my 11-month-old son from daycare due to being bitten five times by the same biter in one month (and my son was not the only child being bitten). The first time it happened I simply thanked the teachers for letting me know: I understand these things happen. The second time he had two bite marks on his arm (that would be 2 and 3). I called the director and was told the "biter" was being shadowed. A few days later, bite 4 happened. My husband and I sat down with the directors and said this was unexceptable. We agreed to change rooms so my son and the biter were never together. Then the day came when the daycare was short staffed. It took only a few hours for bite number 5 and only seconds for my husband and I to inform the directors we were out.

Here's the thing: everyone wants to talk about how removing a biter isn't a fair punishment. I have news for you. It's not about punishment; it's about protecting everyone. Can you imagine how you would feel as a parent if your child bit another child's lip and it was permenantly damaged? It's happened many times. That's a huge liability. You will be sued, your daycare will be sued, and because of documentation, you will lose. Is that risk worth keeping your child in daycare until the behavior changes? Most importantly, is it worth harming someone esle's child?

Look, I'm not done having kids. My next one could very well be the biter. However, I'd rather inconvenience my own schedule and help my child through the behavior myself than put someone else's child in harm's way. This isn't about punishing a child who's struggling to understand. It's about protecting everyone involved.

[Unregistered]

I am a child care provider, and because of the regulations that WE HAVE to follow there is only so much we can do to a child who bites. We have a child who bites at least once a week, we have explained this to the parents about the situation and they are trying to work with us also to correct the situation. There is only so much they can do also. To be brutally honest with you, this is something that happens in all day cares. It isn't always easy to shadow a child when the ratio is to the max. If you look up Minimum Standard Rules you can see that we are very limited on how to handle the situation.

[jen]

OK...so there has been a lot of conversation about younger children who bite...what about a child that is nearly 4 years old? She has bitten on and off since, well since she had teeth!

Now, my daughter was a biter and I was able to resolve it pretty quickly...as for this child, to date, nothing has worked.

Any advice?

[Chickenhauler]

OK...so there has been a lot of conversation about younger children who bite...what about a child that is nearly 4 years old? She has bitten on and off since, well since she had teeth!

Now, my daughter was a biter and I was able to resolve it pretty quickly...as for this child, to date, nothing has worked.

Any advice?

I would classify that as being a mean, malicious violent little monster.

By the age of 4, kids know wrong from right, and what's acceptable and what's not.


This worked with our son.....but you can't do with a DC kid. He was about 3...climbed in my lap and bit me on the shoulder. I bit him back. He doesn't bite me anymore.

[jen]

I would classify that as being a mean, malicious violent little monster.

By the age of 4, kids know wrong from right, and what's acceptable and what's not.


This worked with our son.....but you can't do with a DC kid. He was about 3...climbed in my lap and bit me on the shoulder. I bit him back. He doesn't bite me anymore.

LOL! Sometimes one good bite deserves another!

Mom comes in and tells dck that since she bit, she will have to sit on the couch and watch TV...she can't play at all...and she has to throw out the puppy toy she got in her happy meal...yeah, not gonna work.

I suggested to Mom that she try what we've done with our dd when she hit another daycare child--she was 5 and knew better. I told her to wait in her room until after daycare was over. I went in to talk to her calmly about hitting and then I spanked her bare butt. (Just so you know, she had hit several times, knew right from wrong, and lived to tell the tale of being spanked--no permanment damage no matter what some critics will tell you.)

Guess what...Mom actually took my advice and I had the first peaceful day in weeks. Yay!

[Unregistered]

Our son has been bitten 3 times in the last 3 weeks by the same little monster at his day care. We are working with the Director to remedy the situation, but I am pushing hard for this child to be expelled. This has been an ongoing problem with this child per one of the teachers and I think it's time to stop protecting the attacker and start trying to protect the victims. You parents of habitual biters who whine about how it's not fair that your little angel be kicked out for biting are selfish, egotistical walking nightmares in your own right. It's no wonder your little brat likes to attack others. There should be consequences for bad behavior at any age, including being removed from a situation where you are the problem.

[StressedMom]

Whomever said that they need to WATCH the kids/babies is right. If they are not watched, they can't be disciplined, and the biting will not stop. The biter should be set in time out and even though this is a pain it is something that has to be done AS SOON as the biting occurs! If there is no discipline after the action it will not stop and everyone else's kids will continue to suffer. The MAIN problem is they pay the people who watch our kids the same as what a McDonald's worker makes - NOTHING!!! Almost minimum wage. Therefore the people who watch our kids are under-appreciated, under-educated, and under-paid! Not a good situation.

Our country pays a basketball player millions of dollars while they pay the people who do the most important job in the world nothing. This simple fact makes me irate! I have been tempted plenty of times to actually pay my son's teacher under the table to make sure he is cared for the right way!!! I should not have to feel like this. The director needs to get a car that is not so expensive, and several other staff need to down-grade what they have in order to compensate the people who actually do the work! About spanking, we try No and of course that doesn't work, we try time-out and sometimes that doesn't seem to work to well either. We've spanked lightly on the bottom a few times and that always seems to make the behavior worse. For now we are sticking to time out because that makes the biggest impact on him, when he has to sit still and can't play. We only put him in time-out however for the amount of minutes/years so since he's 2 he has to stay there for 2 minutes. This is how it should go. Studies show that spanking actually does more harm than good so I too am glad that guy on here (Mister old school you know who you are) doesn't care for my kids!

[jen]

Whomever said that they need to WATCH the kids/babies is right. If they are not watched, they can't be disciplined, and the biting will not stop. The biter should be set in time out and even though this is a pain it is something that has to be done AS SOON as the biting occurs! If there is no discipline after the action it will not stop and everyone else's kids will continue to suffer. The MAIN problem is they pay the people who watch our kids the same as what a McDonald's worker makes - NOTHING!!! Almost minimum wage. Therefore the people who watch our kids are under-appreciated, under-educated, and under-paid! Not a good situation.

Our country pays a basketball player millions of dollars while they pay the people who do the most important job in the world nothing. This simple fact makes me irate! I have been tempted plenty of times to actually pay my son's teacher under the table to make sure he is cared for the right way!!! I should not have to feel like this. The director needs to get a car that is not so expensive, and several other staff need to down-grade what they have in order to compensate the people who actually do the work! About spanking, we try No and of course that doesn't work, we try time-out and sometimes that doesn't seem to work to well either. We've spanked lightly on the bottom a few times and that always seems to make the behavior worse. For now we are sticking to time out because that makes the biggest impact on him, when he has to sit still and can't play. We only put him in time-out however for the amount of minutes/years so since he's 2 he has to stay there for 2 minutes. This is how it should go. Studies show that spanking actually does more harm than good so I too am glad that guy on here (Mister old school you know who you are) doesn't care for my kids!

A two year old isn't going to "get" time-out...and NO ONE not matter how well paid can watch a kid constantly. Unless your center has the resources to dedicate one individual to keep constant eyes on your child alone, the kid is going to bite until you teach him otherwise. At two a BIG STRONG no, not a gentle but firm no, but a down right scary NO! And it may need to be followed by a spanking as opposed to a light pat on the butt.

PS: I have a degree in community psychology, have been doing daycare for 4 years, my oldest is 15, a straight A student, plays basketball, wants to be a doctor...and he's been spanked. Get it together before you raise a kid that doesn't have any friends and adults can't stand to see coming...

[mac60]

a two year old isn't going to "get" time-out...and no one not matter how well paid can watch a kid constantly. Unless your center has the resources to dedicate one individual to keep constant eyes on your child alone, the kid is going to bite until you teach him otherwise. At two a big strong no, not a gentle but firm no, but a down right scary no! And it may need to be followed by a spanking as opposed to a light pat on the butt.

Ps: I have a degree in community psychology, have been doing daycare for 4 years, my oldest is 15, a straight a student, plays basketball, wants to be a doctor...and he's been spanked. Get it together before you raise a kid that doesn't have any friends and adults can't stand to see coming...


amen to this! Glad i am not the only one that believes in true discipline.

[momofsix]

Amen to both of you! It is very easy now-a-days to see what has happened to the kids who KNOW that there is no painful consequences when they deliberately disobey. Here's a link to a NEW study, for those of you who raise your children based on studies, that shows that spanked children are better adjusted adults. Most of us don't really need a study to tell us that though.
http://www.mlive.com/news/grand-rapids/index.ssf/2010/01/is_spanking_children_ok_calvin.html

[Carole's Daycare]

Actually.. I DO NOT AGREE WITH YOUR COMMENT.. "OH REALLY HE/SHE DOESN'T DO THAT AT HOME... bull, they do so, you just fail to see it"
My son is 2 1/2 yrs old and NOT ONCE has he bit at home!! It has been at Daycare every single time! He doesn't bite anyone in the household. NOT EVEN HIS TOYS!! HE ONLY BITES AT DAYCARE. From what you are saying, you make the parents of the children feel like it IS their fault! What are you saying we are bad parents!? Your comment has made me very upset. And by calling their parents to have them come get them ISN'T going to do anything! THat is just going to make matters worse, obv. you can't control, what makes you think parents can?! Do you not understand the child care providers are basically like a parent also to the children? They see you guys more sometimes than they see their own parents!!! I give my son 100% of my attention, and he DOESN'T do any of the stuff he does at daycare. That right there proves to me that he isn't well cared for at daycare. It really upsets me when I go to pick him up and they say "Oh he bit a child today so and so" it does upset me, because I do disicpline him at home. I do pay attention to him at home. Then you say this!? That all we do is fail to see it?!

Children rarely act exactly the same at home as they do in daycare- and parents often don't see the behavior because the child is at home with 1 or 2 parents and maybe a couple siblings- in his own kingdom with his own toys etc. That same wonderful child may be completely unable to deal with group dynamics. The king of the castle is one of a group of children all equal in a daycare. The toy is never his- it must be shared. The rules may be different than at home... All situations that create frustration in the child. None the daycares "fault". Teaching proper socialization skills takes time and is challenging for parents and daycare alike. Ultimately if a child is delayed in communication skills, easily frustrated/short fused the safety of the group may have to override and the biter may be let go. One way to have parents and providers work together on the subject is to have the parent enroll the child in a play group or put the child in a situation under the parents supervision where it hs to interact with other children and watch. If biting is how he reacts to kids at daycare- he may react the same at the Burger King playland. The child doesn't know how the parent feels about the behavior and no amount of talking about it after hours will have the same result as the swift intervention and discipline on the spot. Unfortunately sucess in curbing the behavior really depends on the cognitive ability of the child somewhat. Until it understands cause and effect, is developmentally at the stage to grasp empathy, all anyone can do is try to watch closely to watch for cues that may indicate an upcoming attack. For the biter, who already is socially incompetent, the negative reactions of his classmates that do not want to play with or be around him out of fear, exacerbates the frustration and limits the biters opportunity to learn positive social interactions. Sometimes a new setting with more individual attention and a renewed emphasis on naming emotions and emotional control can help.

[Michael]

Something else to consider - Auditory Processing Disorder.

https://www.daycare.com/story/angel.html

[Carole's Daycare]

Sensory processing disorders are rarely diagnosed. Good book- "The Out of Sync Child" by Carol Stock Kranowitz, MA

[Unregistered]

Parents forget that the same laws of behavior exhist inside the classroom as out, as well as the same recourses. My son was bullied by a child twice his size for months, but everytime I called I was blown off. So I did the same thing...told them the might ought to give the boy's parents a call, because next time my child was touched I'd be there with the sheriff's deputy to have the child taken into custody and be pressing a grocery list of charges on him. OVERNIGHT!!!!!! the bullying stopped.


my son was repeatedly bitten, hit, etc by a bigger child. i complained and got all the same responses and "lines". i finally told them they needed to give the other parents a heads up because i was going to file an assault charge against the child the next time he touched my child. (not that i would have) but would you believe it stopped instantly and completely?

hmmmmmm?

[MarinaVanessa]

That's right, let them have their fit... it's okayyy. Don't make them do ANYTHING they don't want to do... it's all child led... They tell us that preschoolers shouldn't be taught fundamentals, like letters and numbers (they'll learn that soon and easy enough in K.) and they aren't ready for that kind of structure, it's too hard for them.... Then we wonder, why are there so many aggressive children, no manners, no values? It's because the parents aren't with their children enough and teachers aren't allowed to teach. That's why.
...I refuse to be conformed by their low standards and low expectations of children.

I applaud you for your comment. I am a child care provider in a home setting and I am concerned. I live in California and my own child has been in Pre-school since she was three and immediately they teach the littles how to spell their names, addresses, patterning, alphabet, shapes, numbers, counting, rules and manners etc. The "fundamentals". This is in our public schools so I am not sure then why they are not taught where you are.

If our school system would not teach my own little any of these things I would be furious!! As for the biting issue: They should change their policies! For myself I know biting happens but if and when it does I immediately take action. I keep notes, call my licensor to report it, then call the parents of both children and explain what happened. I talk about it so that they understand that this cannot happen in my daycare. If it continues to happen I repeat the steps above, have a meeting with the offending child's parents and make a plan of action. If is still continues to happen I let the child go. It's that simple. I would rather lose one child rather than risk losing all of my other littles because of one child's behavior.

I agree that most children’s issues are due to the fact that the parent does not interact enough with their own child but not all children act the same at home than they do in my daycare. That being said however, my littles usually act like angels until their parents arrive to pick them up. My child never went through the terrible two's because I although I spoke to her in a soft and soothing voice I never used "baby talk". No goo-goo gaga for me. "Good morning Isis. How are you this morning? Are you a happy baby today? Yes you are. I am going to dress you now. This is your sock. It goes on your feet." etc. I also taught her and myself simple sign language with flashcards. If at one she couldn't communicate with me through words she used her hands and she has ALWAYS known that hurting herself, others and things are never allowed (she's 5 now).

Try this: Just like was said before, daycares don't want to lose clients. Talk to other parents and try to get them on board. Get a few WRITTEN concerns and complaints that state you are all thinking of looking for another daycare because you FEAR the SAFETY OF YOUR CHILD due to their NEGLIGENCE in addressing the situation appropriately. Then ask them what they are going to do about it. If you still see no results have a meeting with their director and again address your concerns. If you are not happy with the response let the director know that you are upset and are filing a complaint with the Better Business Bureau. It is so simple to do you can do it online. Chances are they don't want the negative review. Calling the licensing board may also help you if you file a formal complaint but you should leave that as a last resort. It may start an investigation and sometimes if they find something wrong they get a violation and a fine but if they find it to be really serious they could get shut-down.

I would like to know what course of action you decided to take and how it worked out for you. Please keep us posted and good luck.

[Unregistered]

I would classify that as being a mean, malicious violent little monster.

By the age of 4, kids know wrong from right, and what's acceptable and what's not.


This worked with our son.....but you can't do with a DC kid. He was about 3...climbed in my lap and bit me on the shoulder. I bit him back. He doesn't bite me anymore.

What a horrible thing to say! No child is a "malicious violent little monster" I am a parent of a biter, and my child has also been bitten! I have bitten him back, spanked him, popped him in the mouth, ect. Children handle situations and act differently throughout stages, and I think it is crazy for someone like you, who is a spouse of of DC worker, (and by the way, this does not make you are one too!) to say things like that. I believe you are the "mean" one here and have no right to judge a child you do not even know. I believe parents who get on here need help and are looking for advice and don't need closed minded people with nothing better to do but to get one here and start judging them. Hope your son doesn't pick up that behavior from you!

[Carole's Daycare]

FYI for the parents threatening assault charges on the preschool/toddler biter- cant/wont happen ... Most states have a minimum age to charge even juveniles with assault. A 2 or 3 yr old biter doesn't go to juvie- so the threat is not valid. The child does need intervention, whether in the form of strict discipline/loss of priveledges, (or if a parent chooses to spank their child if they bit someone), assistance in communication and learning emotional control, etc. More direct supervision etc.... intervention when the child is frustrated, before they bite. I know where I live the sheriff's dept would NOT even show up- they would say its a "civil" matter, to deal with the daycare or move your child.

[Unregistered]

I am very concerned about a situation at a licensed daycare center. What is the policy on handling a child who is biting other children multiple times daily? The child I am concerned about has been bitten multiple times daily, breaking the skin and bruising on 9 days in a short period of time by the same child. He is not the only child @ the day care who is being bitten. Also, the aggressive child who does the biting is also kicking other children. When I talked to the staff they said there was nothing they could do. I believe this is a staffing issue. It has become such an issue that I have filed a report with Department of Social Services. What information can you give me? Where do I find this information?

i didn't read the whole thread - i'm only responding to this.

i have a degree in early childhood development so i know that biting is developmentally appropriate. i've also worked in daycares where children bit, and i've had my own children in daycare where they were bitten.

while i KNOW that biting is developmentally appropriate, my son was being bitten to the point that i threatened to pull him out of daycare. he had 2-3 incident reports EVERY day. it got to where he would cry when i dropped him off after the biting started. it was the same child every day who bit him, and only him.

while biting is normal, excessive biting and targeting a particular child is NOT normal! if your child is getting bitten on a regular basis (daily or more than once daily) then i reccomend doing what i did:

i told the director i was going to withdrawal my son. i told her she would lose a child either way, whether it be the biter or the victim - but i thought making the victim leave was unfair if it came down to that. she came up with a solution - since the biter was almost ready to move up to the 2 year old classroom, she offered to go ahead and move her a little early if i would stay. i agreed. when the girl got moved up, the biting stopped! all of the kids in her new classroom were older and she didn't dare bite them!

i would reccomend having a bottom line: either you move my child, the other child, or i'm leaving!

it WILL work!

[Unregistered]

I feel sorry for whoever uses your daycare. I have 3 boys the first 2 never bit but did get bitten-I did not like it but understood that it was part of their growing and learning process. It was resolved with time. Now my 3rd has just changed to a new daycare and has bitten 3 times. They have the same policy and said that one more time and he could not come back. Let me tell you this he is a good little boy and we just withdrew him and are going somewhere where the people are willing to help him and work with him/us to resolve this problem. He has never bitten before and it is a shame that he had a hard time adjusting and was just given up on. so you don't know every situation and each child is different. from someone who has been on both sides of this you should be ashamed of yourself. these are little children that need help and correction not to just be dismissed like a bad dog. They are all little children of god and he loves each one the same. Some just need more work. Good thing he doesn't give up on us so fast hu!!

No, the child who is causing injury to the rest of the group needs to go!! The safefty of the group is more important than the needs of one child.

[Unregistered]

i didn't read the whole thread - i'm only responding to this.

i have a degree in early childhood development so i know that biting is developmentally appropriate. i've also worked in daycares where children bit, and i've had my own children in daycare where they were bitten.

while i KNOW that biting is developmentally appropriate, my son was being bitten to the point that i threatened to pull him out of daycare. he had 2-3 incident reports EVERY day. it got to where he would cry when i dropped him off after the biting started. it was the same child every day who bit him, and only him.

while biting is normal, excessive biting and targeting a particular child is NOT normal! if your child is getting bitten on a regular basis (daily or more than once daily) then i reccomend doing what i did:

i told the director i was going to withdrawal my son. i told her she would lose a child either way, whether it be the biter or the victim - but i thought making the victim leave was unfair if it came down to that. she came up with a solution - since the biter was almost ready to move up to the 2 year old classroom, she offered to go ahead and move her a little early if i would stay. i agreed. when the girl got moved up, the biting stopped! all of the kids in her new classroom were older and she didn't dare bite them!

i would reccomend having a bottom line: either you move my child, the other child, or i'm leaving!

it WILL work!

I just did the same thing! But then what in 3 months when my son should move up? There is a biting problem in the 2 year old room and their policy is pretty much to just ride it out. I'm not ok with a child be given weeks to chew on other kids.

[Unregistered]

My son who just turned 3 this month goes to a good daycare I think but Friday he got biten the 2nd time by the same kid. Now this time was it was on the middle of his back and much worse then before.I'm talking black and blue now and teeth marks top and bottom with broken skin. I am very upset that this happened and I think the child should be removed because he does nothing but bully other kids. Am I wrong to tell the daycare that when He goes back tuesday? I just don't want it to happen again because I know I won't be nice the 3rd time around. My son said his back hurt and that the kid was mean and he didn't want to play with him. Why didn't they keep them apart?

[Talena]

Alot of times if a child is biting that much is because the worker is not watching the children the are to busy talking to there friends instead of taking care of the children. That happened when my son was in daycare, he would come home almost everyday with a bit mark on him and they would stay almost two weeks. Come to find out they were being left alone with no teacher in there and my son is was only 12 months old.

[Unregistered]

I've spent a lot of time watching my son interact with other children. (he is 18 months).

I have stopped him from biting 2 times total and he has bitten 1 time at DC.

He has an interesting temperment. He basically seems to have no fear of bigger children. If they try to take his toys or move him out of the way he almost never loses, no matter how big the other kid is. Smaller children he basically leaves alone, and he never goes out of his way to take things from others.

In all 3 biting incidents. It has been the case that he was provoked by a bigger child. The child he bit a day care previously scratched him across the face drawing blood. Both times they were in an altercation over a toy (my son had the toy and the other baby wanted it).

I havn't seen anyone say it yet, but I would bet that often its the child who was bitten that was the aggressor. I would think this is especially true if your child is the only one who is being bitten.

[Janet]

It stinks, but it is a part of the daycare experience. I've been very lucky with the whole biting situation. I currently have no biters and I've only had biting incidents a total of 3 times in 6 years and none of them were major. I find that making sure that the kids know that I have my eyes on them is helpful. They think that I REALLY have eyes in the back of my head. It's funny when they look for them!

[Robinssong37]

Wow.... As a parent some of the things you where told by teachers anger me. As a teacher for 20 yrs. A Preschool Teacher at that! I have been biten , hit, etc. I just left a job due to the fact that the owners and management would not follow thru on procedures when it came to certian Children in our Center. I could no longer be a part of what was taking place. It is so unfair to the victim of the biter no matter what the reason... Your child should be safe from harm no matter what. I as a teacher was still limited as to what I could do from the classroom. I have opened my own Child Care Center. We have Zero tolerence for biters.... If you bit you must go home. If it continues the child is un-enrolled for our school. I have seen alot of things in the 20 yrs that I have been teaching and the only way to make things work and keep everyone safe is to make it known that you as parents have rights and that the kids above all have rights... I encourage you to stay on top of things when it comes to your child(ren). No Matter where they go to School. I have seen to many coners cut at the expense of our Children.

[jen]

It stinks, but it is a part of the daycare experience. I've been very lucky with the whole biting situation. I currently have no biters and I've only had biting incidents a total of 3 times in 6 years and none of them were major. I find that making sure that the kids know that I have my eyes on them is helpful. They think that I REALLY have eyes in the back of my head. It's funny when they look for them!

Yep, biting stinks but it happens to the best of us!

[Unregistered]

Not all biting incidents occur because a teacher or 'worker' is not watching the children. How do you know that all teachers are 'talking to their friends' when this occurs? Your statement is a generalized blanket, and could not be further from the truth.


Alot of times if a child is biting that much is because the worker is not watching the children the are to busy talking to there friends instead of taking care of the children. That happened when my son was in daycare, he would come home almost everyday with a bit mark on him and they would stay almost two weeks. Come to find out they were being left alone with no teacher in there and my son is was only 12 months old.

[emosks]

Not all biting incidents occur because a teacher or 'worker' is not watching the children. How do you know that all teachers are 'talking to their friends' when this occurs? Your statement is a generalized blanket, and could not be further from the truth.

Our biter here does it right in front of us. So fast that sometimes you can't get their name out and it's over.

[Unregistered]

I have read this entire thread, thank you for your thoughts. I come from a different perspective. I'm a lead teacher in a room with a child who bites. She is almost 18 months old and has been biting for 6 months now. She bites several times a day, some children getting bitten 3+ times in one day, let alone a week. Other parents are upset, obviously and rightfully so. We are staying at ratio (1 staff to 4 kids) and no matter how much we watch her, she still bites someone. Just the turn of a head is all it takes. She will do it just after nap time, just after eating, when standing next to someone, will walk across the room to find someone to bite, rarely is it over a toy (which is one we do understand), there is no real pattern to her behavior, other than her biting. We've tried the 'no' technique, time out, talking to her, keeping her away from other kids (but then she goes looking for a child to bite), we've given her her pacifier which did work but now she takes it out to bite a child-same with her 'blankie'. What else can a teacher honestly do? I can't watch just her, I have other children in the room as well. I don't want to isolate her, it's not fair for her either. Oh, another catch-the biggest catch of all...she's the director's daughter. Definitely open to ideas!!!


Well unfortunately...I am this mommy! I am the director of a child development center and my daughter is 18 months old and she is a biter! This post is obviously not about my daughter because of the date it was posted but as I ressearched online on how to deal with biting I fould this forum. I must tell you it is AWFUL to be the person in charge and having your daughter down the hall biting. She has more recently started biting in the last week or so. I hate to use the cliche..."she is teething" but you can see the swollen gums and her fingers in her mouth all the time. Here is a question for you all...how do I handle it? Do I let my teachers handle it? Do I go down and handle it? How do I teach her that she isn't the "queen bee?" She is fully aware that Mommy is "in charge" and has the ability to wander throughout the building before and after we are open. All of the staff know her and most of the parents..she is delightful entertaining child...but has a biting problem. I have a good relationship with my daughters teachers, personally and professionally. I have told them I am open for their suggestions and as a parent willing to do whatever. I am just waiting for the first parent to come with me witha concern about the biting...do I tell them it is my child? Do I express my condolenseces and frustration? Will they assume that it will continue because the staff won't discipline my child?

[Unregistered]

Our son has been bitten 3 times in the last 3 weeks by the same little monster at his day care. We are working with the Director to remedy the situation, but I am pushing hard for this child to be expelled. This has been an ongoing problem with this child per one of the teachers and I think it's time to stop protecting the attacker and start trying to protect the victims. You parents of habitual biters who whine about how it's not fair that your little angel be kicked out for biting are selfish, egotistical walking nightmares in your own right. It's no wonder your little brat likes to attack others. There should be consequences for bad behavior at any age, including being removed from a situation where you are the problem.

Well I seriously hope that your children do not have any behavioral issues down the road. I question your ability to teach your own child forgiveness and understanding. You truly disgust me stereotyping a group of children you don't know as brats and better yet calling their parents selfish egoistical walking nightmares. Someone obvioulsy needs to teach you a thing or two about manners as well as child devleopment. It isn't always black and white...their are shades of gray in the world! Perhaps you should look at things a little differently...maybe this child has special needs...should they be punished for that? Should they be punished because their development is slower or different than your child's?

Not all children are angels and I'm guessing that your child has had their moments...has your child never hit? or pushed? or pinched? How would you feel as a parent if your child was the biter? How would you handle it? Would you want a classroom of parents ganging up on your for a behavior your child has only at school? Most parents of biters feel helpless...they want to know what they can do to remedy the issue. Perhaps when you grow up you will have the ability to look at things through someone elses perspective and realize each child is an individual and deserves a chance to be successful you may have a change of heart. I'm guessing your children will need that opportunity some day. And although you don't believe my biting bratty daughter deserves it.....I hope your children get that opportunity. They should not be punished for a parent who is so close-minded that they don't wish success for all children.

[Unregistered]

Well unfortunately...I am this mommy! I am the director of a child development center and my daughter is 18 months old and she is a biter! This post is obviously not about my daughter because of the date it was posted but as I ressearched online on how to deal with biting I fould this forum. I must tell you it is AWFUL to be the person in charge and having your daughter down the hall biting. She has more recently started biting in the last week or so. I hate to use the cliche..."she is teething" but you can see the swollen gums and her fingers in her mouth all the time. Here is a question for you all...how do I handle it? Do I let my teachers handle it? Do I go down and handle it? How do I teach her that she isn't the "queen bee?" She is fully aware that Mommy is "in charge" and has the ability to wander throughout the building before and after we are open. All of the staff know her and most of the parents..she is delightful entertaining child...but has a biting problem. I have a good relationship with my daughters teachers, personally and professionally. I have told them I am open for their suggestions and as a parent willing to do whatever. I am just waiting for the first parent to come with me witha concern about the biting...do I tell them it is my child? Do I express my condolenseces and frustration? Will they assume that it will continue because the staff won't discipline my child?

This is a tough problem to deal with, and hopefully you will find a solution sooner rather than later. I have had a home daycare for 15 years now and the thing that seems to be most effective for me is this: Immediately after the "bite", take the two children aside, and say something to the effect of "Sally, do you see how Johnny is crying? He is very upset because when you bite him, it really hurts! Do you see this mark on his arm? That's where you bit him and it really hurts! Can you make Johnny feel better?" Usually here the "biter" will give a hug or say sorry if they are verbal. This works best if you tackle the problem as soon as the biting starts, so I'm not sure how it will work for a little one who's been biting for awhile. And obviously it works better if the child who is bitten is upset and doesn't just take it in stride.

Good luck to you and your daughter.

[Unregistered]

Well, this is my first post to the forums and I wish I didn't have to make it.

I am in a bit of a unique situation I think. My son (5) and daughter (16 months) are in a 5-star, NAEYC accredited learning center that is owned/run by the pharmaceutical company I work for. I DO have to pay for my children's care, but at a reduced rate since I am among the lowest paid employees of the company.

My daughter has become the repeated victim of biting. In the last 2-3 months she has been bitten 7 times. At least 3 of the bites were by the same child, although some of the other bites were from different children. I have spoken to the director of the daycare and she has confirmed that there are several children in the class who are in a biting stage. I understand that it could just as easily hae been my daughter biting other children and that there is very little that can be done to stop the biting, but it is still VERY frustrating. Each bite had left bruises and scrapes, although none of them, luckily, have broken the skin. In EVERY case the reports have stated that the bite was completely unprevoked. The director explained the centers policy to me which amounts to watching the biter when there are extra teachers to put in the room, which is seldom to never.

After the last incident, the center hired an outside counselor to come in for a "bag lunch workshop" for the parents to help them learn thing to do at home to try andchange the biters behavior patterns. The workshop was on Monday and I found out today that not a single parent of any of the biter children came to the workshop. being that this is a company owned daycare, every one of the parent/employees could have easily gotten off work for the workshop.

It seems to me that the parents of the biters don't care about my daughter (and other kids in the class) being bitten over and over again. The daycare is aparently going to do NOTHING else at this time.

Because of the discounted rate, and my wife and my work start times, I can't pull my kids out and put them in a different center, besides which I don't think that my children should have to leave.

Any thoughts/comments/advise would be appreciated.

Thanks

Just wanted to say sorry to all those kids that are getting bit..my son is 21 months old and didnt start biting til he got bit first...it started out that he was only biting this one little girl.. i felt so sorry for her. now he bites different children for different reasons..sometimes it is because they take his toys or are just simply in his space... there are times the daycare teachers say he does it for no reason what so ever... im not there to see what happens...he does not bite at home nor does he get bit at home... i have no idea what to do about it.. i dont know if the daycare just cant keep a close enough eye on the kids or what but i do know the rooms are not that big...so again im sorry for those babies and kids that get bit over and over...every day that he does bite i make him tell the child he is sorry and to give them a hug.. i explain before and after everyday that biting is a no no and it hurts and it is not a nice thing to do to your friends...again im sorry i just dont know what else to do at this age....

[Unregistered]

my son is not quite two yet. he started biting after he was bit. We all have tried to stop this very awful bad habbit...he bite for all sorts of reasons and he bites for no reason at all. I do believe it is to get someones attention. It works for him. He gets put in time out. They call me and i come get him. I always make him apologize the the child he bites. And for those who say that it is bull when a parent states the child does not bite at home.. you have no idea what you are talking about. My child knows the punishment at home is more than a time out when they do something they are not suppose to...i am truely sorry for all those little children who are the victims that get bit over and over. my daycare has tried to do a positive reinforcement with my child..giving him treats and praise when he doesn't bite but it doesn't work everyday..only when they really stay on top of it...am i really soppose to punish him when we get home for something he has done 3,4,6, hours after he has done the biting?? i have takin him to the doctor and he says it just a phase to wait it out...ive researched biting in toddlers and done all the things they say so what am i, and parents with the same problem, soppose to do?? please anyone have any ideas? i guessing not for some toddlers they are just going to have to grow out of the stage.. my son has had a lot of ear problems and just got tubes put in. he has been behind in his speach.. so maybe that has something to with it.. i just dont know. i feel bad for all those kids but what to do????

[QualiTcare]

my daughter never bit anyone until a child started biting her at daycare. normally, when i'd pick her up from daycare, i'd pick her up, hug her, kiss her, talk to her, etc. the day i walked in and saw the incident report saying she bit someone, i didn't pick her up or hug her. i said something like, "you do NOT bite! i am not happy!" i made her walk to the car and i didn't hold her hand or talk to her AT ALL. normally, i'd carry her and talk. she bit one more time after that and i did the same exact thing. she never bit again.


there was a girl biting my son every single day, multiple times a day and i was MAD!! biting is normal, but biting the same child repeatedly for no reason is not nomal. he's very sweet natured and would never bite back or do anything. it got to where he cried when we got close to the daycare because he knew he was going to be chewed on all day. i was there when the mother of the child who was biting picked her up one day. she walked in, picked her daughter up, hugged her, kissed her, and was rubbing her head as she was saying, "why are you biting?" in a little baby voice. OBVIOUSLY, that approach was not working.

kids bite other kids their age - so just because they don't bite their parents or siblings at home is no indication whatsoever of what they do at daycare with peers.

anyhow, i think dealing with your child who bites depends on the dynamic between you and your child. what i did with my daughter worked like a charm because she hated that i was upset and i made it CLEAR that i was. it's not being mean - it's being stern. biting HURTS and they need to know that you are very unhappy when it happens.

[Unregistered]

My grandson 19 months old was biten 2 times in the butt. The boy took his shorts and diaper off to do this. The licenced sitter watchs 5 childern in her home, one being her own 4 yr. old. Whats so bad about this story is she says she don't know what happen. When my daughter pick him up she asked if her son ever takes his diaper off. He has 1 time when he was in his bed without shorts on. When my daughter changed his diaper she noticed it and called sitter who pretend that she didn't know anything happened and he didn't cry all day long. What I'm wanting to know is who to report this to. She doesn't need to be watching kids. This happened in Corydon, In. My grandson no longer goes there.

[Unregistered]

I am the Director of a DC where a complaint with Protective Services was filed against us because of a biter. A tot in our care has been bitten 4 times in the past 5 weeks, 2 of the bites coming from one child. The investigation led to interviews with her teachers and myself, viewing the incident reports and a home visit with both the victim and the biter's parents.

After being read the complaint by DCF, which according to the mother, was made by a friend of the child's family.(information received via mom's FB posts w/pictures ) I have just one question. If this is what she thinks and feels about the quality of care given to her child WHY IS SHE STILL INTRUSTING US WITH HER CHILD'S CARE??????

[Unregistered]

I think states need to change the ratios, lower the amt of kids per teacher in centers.
Working in a center now I understand how fast it can happen.

Then if they did that rates would go up due to more staff needed to be paid. But that is another topic.

[Unregistered]

I have been a toddler/preschool teacher for many years now. I want to let both the biters and the victims parents know that we spend our entire day with your children and care for them very much. We don't want to see the victims injured hurting or upset and we don't want to see the biters frustrated and upset. We are not in the childcare career for the money, although tuition for most centers is very high we do not get paid well at all. We choose this career because we love children and enjoy helping/watching them learn and grow. In an ideal classroom all of the children would be happy and gentle to their "friends" for the entire day. But in a realistic classroom there are 9 children in 9 different mindframes throught the day. One minute the children could be thoroughly enjoying singing the abc's and a second later 2 of the children may be crying one of the children may be trying to hit and or bite their friend and the others may still be sitting enjoying singing. We shadow the biters to the best of our ability however it only takes half a second for a biter to bite. We understand the frustrations from both the biters parents and the victims parents. Belive me, we feel for both of you!! The most important aspect of preventing biting is communication with the staff members in your childs center. It is also very important to remember that consistancy is EVERYTHING. If your childs center is using "sitting out time" and you are doing something different at home the child is not going to understand either consequence. It is also very important to remember to be patient, biting is NOT going to stop overnight. We all wish that it could be this way but it is an unrealistic expectation. We understand that you (both biters parents and victims parents) are very frustrated with this behavior and believe me we get frustrated sometimes as well. It is important not to show the child that you are frustrated, show them with words and facial expressions that you are "not happy" and "sad" that they are biting and HURTING their friends. To the victim we show comfort understanding and most importantly love! I hope that this has helped mostly with the parents who's children are in daycare centers to understand where we the care providers are coming from.

[Unregistered]

My 16 month daughter was bitten today and yesterday by the same child. I can understand the first time, and I can mostly understand the second time - giving the benefit of a doubt that it was a one time occurrence.

I've made it very clear that my expectation is that this does not happen to any child in that room again for a very long time. They are now aware that there is a problem and it is entirely possible to prevent it from here on, it's not convenient, but it's possible. If the only solution to the problem is an additional person following this child around the entire day, then do it. I will not accept this type of injury to my child because they want to maximize their profits.

Further, I was also told that they cannot legally divulge who the other child was. I researched the governing daycare laws for my state and could find no such requirement. I've requested that they specifically show me where this is written.

You are your child's advocate! Don't take anything you're told for granted and make sure your child is protected!

[Unregistered]

I'm a daycare asst in a toddler room and also a mom of 3. None of my children ever bit or were the victims of a biter. But none of my children went to daycare which I now know is a whole different situation.

To say that daycare workers aren't paying enough attention is simply untrue. The daycare I work at was fortunate for almost an entire year. Not one of our children were biters, but as our enrollment grew, it was bound to happen. A 2 yr old boy enrolled from another school and mom failed to tell us that her child tended to bite. And the first chance he got he bit. It happened right in front of my eyes and for no reason. I've read some posters blame dcworkers as being too underpayed & overworked to properly supervise in these situations. And I have to protest that this is false. As a dcw who has cared for these toddlers - you become quite attached to these children and are in fact their surrogate parent. You sometimes spend more time with them than their own parents do & sometimes these children will slip & call you mommy. When they are bit while in your care - it hurts them and hurts you. I was absolutely horrified and even more so because this bite looked bad. It broke skin, bled and swelled immediately. And I have to admit, that I couldn't help but feel some anger towards the offender. But we have been instructed that this is nothing new - and some children bite out of anxiety or stress. And this child was new.

We did everything we were supposed to do. We separated the biter - spoke sternly to the offender. He cried & truly looked upset over his actions. We coddled the victim & administered first aid, called both parents and wrote up a boo-boo report. Our policy (though never needed before) is 3 strikes & you're out. We have also been told that we should never give out names of the offender for legal reasons. To the parent who wonders if this is valid - you better get used to this. It's the same reason why minor-aged lawbreakers are never identified and this will happen time & time again as your child progresses through school. The law is not of our making - but we are forced to follow it. And sometimes it might be your own child who benefits from this rule.

And then it happened again - even though I tailed the biter like a shadow. He managed to bite the same child and without warning. We were all looking out the window at some large birds on our school lawn and like a cobra, this kid struck. This time not only was the child hurt, but I (being responsible for tailing this biter) felt horribly. I had been speaking to the intended victim at that precise moment - I watched her eyes get large & could see her pain. It was my job to protect her and believe me, I'd have taken that bite in her place if possible. I speak to her mother all the time - and we've become friends, so that just added to the stress. We followed the same procedures as before - and this time I made sure this biter was nowhere near the victim... ever. It was tiring & I couldn't let my guard down for a second. I always stood between them. But it happened again. But this time with another child & it happened when I had gone home. Unfortunately, being the 3rd strike, the biter was expelled. We are business after all and our administrator did this to protect the other children. I had gotten attached to this child too (the biter) and feel badly for everyone involved. I wish we could have bent the rules to let him stay, because I'm sure we could have stopped him eventually - but we couldn't do it at the expense of the other children. Dcworkers do care - we care for all involved - the parents, the biter, the victim. It has nothing to do with being underpayed.

[Unregistered]

My daughter was recently bitten for the 8th time. When I sat down to chat with the owner/director, which I did in a calm and non-accusatory manner, she informed me of the steps the center was going to take to protect the children getting bit.

That same day, when I picked up my daughther, the owner/director had left a letter "requesting" that I find a new provider.

I feel terrible that I ever even exposed my daughter to this center, and I feel worse that I have to so quickly up-root her.

Any thoughts/suggestions?

[JenNJ]

It is possible that these 2 children are antagonizing one another and the center wants to protect itself legally. I have seen both the biter and victim guilty of aggressive behavior and both children asked to leave in centers before.

[Unregistered]

I've read every post here. I am the Mom of a biter. She is 2 and has a 7 year old non-aggressive brother. She does attempt to bite at home so I know it happens at DC and home. No denying that. She has not been expelled yet but after reading these posts I've decided to pull her out. I will take vacation time until I find her new DC with hopes that change in environment will help her. I cannot stop working, I am the primary insurer and my son and husband need their health insurance. If the next DC doesn't work, I will pay the additonal cost and have a caregiver come to our home. I had not seen that suggested. What are the experiences to at home care by a caregiver and re-introducing to a DC after 6 mos or 1 year?
I will add for the more recent comments about what prompted the biter to bite. My daughter is almost 2 1/2 and extremely verbal for her age. After all the incidents, she has been able to express why she bit. The most common reasons were: she was pushed by another child (in one instance to the ground), a child played a game she didn't like (seriously doesn't like), her toys were taken from her, she was forced to sit to close to another child when she needed personal space. In all instances, the report was written up as "unprevoked" biting. Doesn't seem that way to me. I understand that it is less severe to have the child that takes, pushes, is annoying, etc but some children don't just back away and get bullied....some children re-act back. Unfortunately, I have the reactor. So maybe now in a new setting, they will set things fair for her and others and she'll stop this awful biting. (and I've also ordered the book "No Biting" express mail....) Will post a review and follow up.

[Unregistered]

My son was a biter, too. When he was a year old at a large corporate nation wide chain daycare, a child with a known biting problem at enrollment was allowed to join the daycare without notice to the parents. After my son was severely bitten many times and the daycare downplayed and refused to tell the parents anything, the biter finally left voluntarily. Yes, the biter was not terminated and the daycare didn't say anything to the family except sending her home after she'd bitten many times. They didn't even seperate her from the group when she had to be picked up and she bit more during that time. My son would have huge bruised bite marks on his back - she would bear hug him and bite while the teacher was changing diapers. I found out years later from other teachers that he would be hysterical for the rest of the day and would be screaming for mommy. I'm haunted by that to this day. They only had one teacher classrooms, so she couldn't be effectively shadowed. During the time and for a long time later, my son would night wake with night terrors. Even saying her name would start the night terrors again. The damage was done. I don't blame her - she had no business being in a large group setting with her type of biting problem - I blame the daycare. My son started biting immediately and he bit regularly until he was 3. He only bit 2 different kids the entire time. And believe me, those parents were both teachers in the school system and made my life hell for years. Daycare intervention is a big one. I requested for years that the daycare seperate my child from the 2 he was biting - they never did and that was a shame. One of those 2 was also a biter who picked it up from the original biter as well, so my son and the other child would sit and bite each other for the fun of it while the teachers watched and laughed. Teachers told me this. There was even a daycare teacher with a child who was a biter who picked it up from the original biter as well. They bent over backwards to move him around and help out the teacher mom - even switching her child and my child in 2 different classrooms to accomodate the teacher mom. They refused to accomodate my child in any way regardless of my suggestions. Every one of my suggestions was used with all the other biters in the daycare, but they refused to try that with my son. My child was the only one that ever got punished - I know because the daycare teachers told me and so did the parents. Go figure! If hindsight was foresight, I would have taken him out of there after the first bite and enrolled him somewhere else. I'm positive I would have never had any problems with him - he never bit outside of daycare regardless of situation. He got sent home a couple of times but I was threatened with termination every week and my child bit maybe once or twice per week and rarely ever left a mark - they even wrote him up for attempting to bite! Fastforward 2 years later and I find out recently that this same chain daycare allowed another child of same age to bite every day for a year and the only thing ever done was give her parents handouts, never even had a conference with her and certainly never mentioned termination! Found out from the parent herself. Talked with other parents who had been complaining about the biter to the director. Biter had never been sent home even once. The mom is a teacher in the local school system - conicidence you say, I think not. In every case where the biting was overlooked, the parents were teachers in the local school system. I was the only one not in the school system and only had one child. The others were paying $24,000 and $36,000 per year in daycare tuition. I was only paying $12,000 because I only had one at their daycare and therefore was easily expendable. I'm sure not much I could do now, but trust me, when I have more children, I will use my experience. Everyone tells me to avoid me large group daycares and hire in home small centers instead and I agree. I've polled all my friends and not one single one had a problem with small in home centers. Live and learn I guess. I wished I'd discovered this forum years ago, it could have really helped me back then.

[Unregistered]

My grandson was bitten 11 times by the same child, sometimes on the face. The daycare handled it by moving him to a different room. Each time the other child was moved up to the room my grandson was in, the child would bite again. My grandson was not the only child who was a victim.

The daycare told my daughter that they would have the child removed if that is what she wanted. She told them to remove the child and they did not. My grandson is now in another daycare. If their intention was not to lose a client, it didn't work.

[Unregistered]

I am the mother of an a very sweet 18 month old that started biting shortly after starting daycare two months ago. Until then he had only been cared for by family or friends. He loves to play and cuddle, cries when we leave the room- I thought it was the perfect time for him to enter an environment with organized play while everyone stays in the same room! He started to bite his older sibs at home and quickly stopped doing so after stern words and a short “time out”. The day care director assures me that his biting is not out of anger, aggression or frustrated. I have addressed HALTS with her (common reasons for toddler to bite, including Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Teething, or Sleepy), adding a late snack-that he may or may not get. No new teeth and 4 hour naps rule out the other two. I have attached a pacifier to his shirt-which he never used before. I have even had an early prevention professional come in and assess him and the class. She claims the reason he bites seems to be related to his lack of communication-despite his use of sign language. Still he continues to bite, sometimes twice in one hour. Today I was told he was a “danger to the classroom”. It is becoming my belief that some settings just might not be a good fit for a particular child/personality. Maybe the “lonely” aspect of HALTS is not being addressed. And if these child care professionals are so frustrated with my child, are they really providing optimal care?

I am having the exact same issue i need help dont know what to do the only available child care that convienient in my area... what do i do they are trying to put my daughter on a 1 week suspension... im at a hault and im a sinlge parent she dont bite at home and shes sweet and gentel to everyone that i asses her with, they make the reports sound so vulgar... theres on lady that works at the daycare and and her daughter almost same age as my daughter is one of the kids that is geting bit i honestly think its conflict of interest... how do i reslove this situation???? halts sounds great i need more info... some one help me

[Unregistered]

you couldn't have said it any better, way to go
As a director I can say that this is always a sticky situation. We are not allowed to tell who bit either. This policy protects all families in the center. Kids do bite for several reasons so it is hard to have an iron clad policy. Dismissal is the last resort but sometimes necessary when looking out for a whole group. We can't make everyone happy we either have the biter's parents upset with us for not handling the situation or the one that got bit parents all upset about what we are going to do to fix it. It depends on why their biting, where, how hard, how frequent. Just because we have to occasionally disenroll children for biting does not mean we do not care about the kids or if we keep a biter that we are just in it for the finances. Hence, we are always in the middle of a sticky situation. Shadowing sounds great but is usually not reasonable in a group setting with ratios. There is no set answer for this problem but if your childcare has been reasonable then try to understand the decisions that they have to make. It is just a part of life and being vendictive and filling complaints and making threats is just silly and a waste of perfectly good energy that could be used to better your child's situation.

[wvmomof2kids]

Children in daycare are too be watched at all times. Of course they can do something about it. They can watch the child and when he/she starts too bite another child, they should remove the biter from the area and explain that he/she can not bite....period. If that doesn't work after a few days, the child should be removed for the other children in care too be safe. I would also ask too speak too the parents of that child, if mine was on the other end of those bites.


yes, kids should be watched at all times.
yes, we can try to intervene on another child's behalf.

let me ask you a question... do you work at a daycare? just curious. sometimes those who do not work there do not understand what we deal with on a daily basis. When one child bites or acts up, the others soon follow. It would be nice to say that we could be perfect and swoop down like superwoman and intervene every time something happens or is about to happen. It doesn't work that way. we do our best to take care of the situation such as removing each child from the situation (that's a whole lotta fun too especially when you are also the one who is bitten- talk about your "on the job hazards"!) and telling the child who was bitten to not bite and that hurts. We console and hug the child who was bitten and do our best to keep them apart for the rest of the 6 hours that we are there at work. Please remember that we often have up to 10 kids or more in each room and it is physically impossible to be everywhere at once. Often daycares are short staffed and we don't have a lot of people to cover each area of the rooms in the daycare.

[Candyland]

my son was repeatedly bitten, hit, etc by a bigger child. i complained and got all the same responses and "lines". i finally told them they needed to give the other parents a heads up because i was going to file an assault charge against the child the next time he touched my child. (not that i would have) but would you believe it stopped instantly and completely?

hmmmmmm?

I was going to ask...what about the bitten kid's parents? What do they say when they see marks on their child?!!!

[Unregistered]

A two year old definately can "get" time out...you're not giving young kids enough credit, when my 11 month old would bite he got a smack on the hand, a firm "NO!" and 2 minutes in the playpen while everyone else got to play with toys, he's 12 months now and doesn't bite, ever....if a lab rat can learn to hit a lever to get a pellet of food, a 2 year old can learn "NO"

i'm a daycare provider, and let me tell you it gets old when i hear other providers say "kids bite, it's just what they do, we can't stop it" um, i'm sorry but it's your JOB to stop it, you are in charge of protecting and nurturing children! If you see Jack bite Jill, you pull Jack aside, you tell him NO he show him what he did to Jill and in he's old enough you make him apologize, if he's too young to apologize you put him in a crib, playpen, whatever for a few minutes and he will learn that biting = NO, and time out

[Unregistered]

I am just offering a new perspective that is all :)

I have read the thread and noticed a few people said that children often bite when they don't have words. My son (who is now 10) was a horrible biter. He bit children at the DC I worked at, chairs, his twin, me, whatever was close to him when he was frustrated. I tried everything, and believe me when I say everything. I do believe in spanking my own children and we tried that and every suggestion in every book and class i could find. It went on for at least a year.

As he got older, his speech issues that I couldn't get any one to take seriously since he was on the tail end of "normal" became more and more obvious. He did finally stop biting at about three. Today, at the age of ten, he is still well below the 1st percentile in almost every speech category but of course no longer bites. He can't read because of his disorders and cries frequently when frustrated, but no biting :)

I just want to offer hope to parents of serial biters, I thought we would never get through it but we did finally. I have had many children in my DC who were biters and just bullies and appropriate discipline usually put an end to it quickly. However, children who keep biting and nothing seems to work, please pay attention, there may be a deeper issue at work. Listen to your instincts and if you think something else is going on, keep pushing until someone listens. My son was never abused or anything like that but he was premature and when he was frustrated he couldn't express it. No amount of "giving" him words helped, although in other situations it might be a great help for children who just don't have the words but are capable of them. However, his speech and language processing disorders were just too severe.

[momatheart]

I can tell you why aggressive behavior is allowed.
Providers may not like what I am about to share, but it is the truth...
States are pushing towards child led everything. They have taken the rights away for any punishment except time outs. Sure, they can oust the child out of their program, but if competition is stiff, they aren't going to want to give up their income. Then you have Quality ratings. They set the standard for this 1,2,3,4, or 5 star quality that everybody wants to receive so badly because it means they can carry that title. But, do you realize that within this quality ratings, you are so limited on what you can and can't do with children, including what and how you teach. A child expressing aggressive behavior must be left alone, and area cleared so as not to hurt him/herself. That's right, let them have their fit... it's okayyy. Don't make them do ANYTHING they don't want to do... it's all child led. Check out what high scope learning is all about, you'll see some of what I am describing. It'll blow your mind. They tell us that preschoolers shouldn't be taught fundamentals, like letters and numbers (they'll learn that soon and easy enough in K.) and they aren't ready for that kind of structure, it's too hard for them. BUT, let the child lead what you teach. Oh, yes... never teach anything that has clear cut answers, always teach open-ended subjects, where there is no wrong answer, and take away any games that are competition so they don't "experience losing" rather, don't teach them to be a good sport, so we will just make sure that there are enough chairs out when playing musical chairs and never take one out when the music stops. It makes my head spin. Then we wonder, why are there so many aggressive children, no manners, no values? It's because the parents aren't with their children enough and teachers aren't allowed to teach. That's why.
Oh, by the way... I am a preschool teacher with an education. I refuse to be conformed by their low standards and low expectations of children. The children in my preschool are well behaved, happy, and know how to be a friend, and have fun, even when they are the ones left standing when playing musical chairs.

I too am a preschool teacher in a daycare/preschool setting and I agree 100% with you!!!

[cillybean83]

My 13 month old son is a biter. He has a mouthful of teeth (11!) and he has a molar coming in which is *part* of the problem, but he also bites for fun, to get attention, and when he's mad. If I'm sitting in the chair in the playroom and have a dck on my lap, my son will walk over and bite my toes to get my attention! I'm lucky that it is MY kid who is the biter because I can smack his hand and say no and put him in the playpen for a couple minutes. I wouldn't know what to do if one of my dck's was the biter, all I could think to do is separate the biter from the group and tell them no. So far my son hasn't bit any daycare kids, but he's starting to get that he gets in trouble for biting because he bit a stuffed animal then pointed to himself and yelled "NO"...so maybe he'll outgrow it soon

[Unregistered]

Biting is perfectly normal at daycare and it comes and goes. Just because there had been streaks of biting doesn't mean that it's a bad daycare or the teachers weren't watching. And parents who think their kids can do no wrong need a reality check. We had 4 kids in our toddler room biting one child, who provoked each bite by pushing and taking toys away. His parents complained and threatened, and finally left... miraculously all biting stopped! Yes there are now some biting incidents here and there, but nothing like with that child. Sometimes a change of environment stops the biting. We have some kids who got kicked out from other centers for biting but have not had one biting incident with us. So if you're parents of a child who keeps getting bitten, either be patient and wait it out or just find a different daycare. No need to make a fuss and play the blame game with teachers or biters.

[Michelle]

My son bit a child in the nursery at church!
I was mortified and felt horrible for that child, so I took him out of the room to a private area and spanked him, told him biting hurts! (calmly and in control)and he never bit again.
Parents are so afraid to discipline! I read "Dare to Discipline by Dr. Dobson and The Strong Willed Child when my kids were young and they are all in college and doing very well. I spanked them very rarely and for severe issues. Most of the time we used time outs and taking privileges away.

I really think allowing an undisciplined biting child to remain in daycare is a form of abuse.

Baby teeth are sharp and these bites leave bruises and can break the skin. Parents need to step up and discipline
Just my loving opinion...I really love my daycare kids, like my own:)

[Habshockeygrl]

I apologize to all of the victims of bites, but please do not think that the parents of the biter are not good parents. I am saddened that my child hurts others when threatened or when he wants his way and we did not teach him this behavior. Praying for all children and their parents the bitees and the biters.

This was well said. My child became mobile at a very young age and would take toys from the kids that couldn't move Daycare's fix was to move him in with older kids that had the same skill set. He has moved room early every time. Unfortunately the big kids push him around. He may be on the same physical level but not the same verbal and emotional and so out of frustration he began fighting and biting. He only started biting after another kid started biting him. He does not bite or hit at home so we can not punish him for it and at 15 months he is too young to punish hours after an incident. So as a parent whose kid has become the trouble kid you might want to look speak to the parents before you blame

[Unregistered]

same exact thing happened to us. they told us the same things. could not even tell us which child bit our child.

We cant controll the biting case among all the children. And predict what going to happen next. We may not know who is in fault. It is because children tend to bite someone when they get frustrated with that someone. Its confidential for a childcare to let out a child's profile.

[Unregistered]

Ok so In my case I run a daycare at my home. I have 3 chidren of my own and I watch 5 other children. The one year old that I watch is always biting my 8 month old child. I mean not just once a week, but 5-8 times a day!! If I walk out of the room to make a bottle or take another kids potty, At every chance he gets he bites. I have told the parents about it and all they say is to bite him back. Now I'm not about to bite a child so I put him in time outs. The child does not do it at home. The father says if he did it at home, it would stop real fast. Now, I'm at a loss of what I can do. My child looks like he was attacked by a dog. He almost always bites him on the head. And the parents don't really seem to show that they care. So now I'm asking you guys for tips to get a one year old to stop biting. Please help!!

[jen]

Ok so In my case I run a daycare at my home. I have 3 chidren of my own and I watch 5 other children. The one year old that I watch is always biting my 8 month old child. I mean not just once a week, but 5-8 times a day!! If I walk out of the room to make a bottle or take another kids potty, At every chance he gets he bites. I have told the parents about it and all they say is to bite him back. Now I'm not about to bite a child so I put him in time outs. The child does not do it at home. The father says if he did it at home, it would stop real fast. Now, I'm at a loss of what I can do. My child looks like he was attacked by a dog. He almost always bites him on the head. And the parents don't really seem o show that they care. So now I'm asking you guys for tips to get a one year old to stop biting. Please help!!

Personally, there is no way in the world I would leave an 8 month old unattended wih other children ever. Not to use the restroom, change a diaper or make a bottle.

Bring the baby with you, or put him in a pack-n-play.

If you leave an INFANT alone, especially with a kid you know is going to bite, the only one to blame is you.

[Unregistered]

I completely agree with this poster. My three year old is truly such a kind, sensitive and loving little person. He is in no way aggressive. However, at times of frustration or being provoked he does tend to bite instead of using his words or telling his teacher. No matter how many talks, time outs, etc. Nothing seems to work in him remembering what to do in that moment. Impulse seems to take over. I know he will eventually grow out of it, but at present it's very frustrating.

[Unregistered]

....but when my dogs start chewing on things and 'speaking' with their teeth, I offer them some 'teething aides'. I believe they may still make such items for children!?!

[Unregistered]

My son will be two in september, he has been bitting since before he got teeth. It started by he would give "kisses" and just close down on your cheek. Well when he got teeth these kisses would hurt, so we did everything we could to put a stop to it! I went to work when he was 8 mths old had no problems with him when he was in the infant room. Then when he got to be a year old he was moved up and he would sometimes bit, well then all of a sudden he starting bitting. He would bite at daycare, at home, anywhere and anybody. He bit me many times and I would try many different things telling him "no", time out, popping, bitting him back, and even popped him in his mouth which I hated but it worked. He stop bitting at home and then after that stopped bitting at daycare.

Well then he started back, he starting bitting everything toys, children, and even himself. But he was still not bitting his father or me. At home he was just bitting his toys or himself so I would try to stay on him about not bitting. Well he stopped bitting again.

No just this week he has started back bitting children at school. He bit muliple times daily and even bit a boy in the face. I truly feel horrible for the other parents and children and I dont want them to think that I am not doing my job, becasue he has still not been bitting at home so I haven't been to punish him more harshly then "time out". I have talked to daycare teachers and director and we do have a plan of using a shadow person and when they can't stand by him then they will place him a play pen.

I don't think my son should be expelled and some of the posts hurt my feelings, I understand people's concerned especially if their child is getting bitten. But there are parents who care and daycares that care. I really hope that we can teach him that it is not ok to bite and to use his words. If this new strategy works I'll let you know!

[nannyde]

My son will be two in september, he has been bitting since before he got teeth. It started by he would give "kisses" and just close down on your cheek. Well when he got teeth these kisses would hurt, so we did everything we could to put a stop to it! I went to work when he was 8 mths old had no problems with him when he was in the infant room. Then when he got to be a year old he was moved up and he would sometimes bit, well then all of a sudden he starting bitting. He would bite at daycare, at home, anywhere and anybody. He bit me many times and I would try many different things telling him "no", time out, popping, bitting him back, and even popped him in his mouth which I hated but it worked. He stop bitting at home and then after that stopped bitting at daycare.

Well then he started back, he starting bitting everything toys, children, and even himself. But he was still not bitting his father or me. At home he was just bitting his toys or himself so I would try to stay on him about not bitting. Well he stopped bitting again.

No just this week he has started back bitting children at school. He bit muliple times daily and even bit a boy in the face. I truly feel horrible for the other parents and children and I dont want them to think that I am not doing my job, becasue he has still not been bitting at home so I haven't been to punish him more harshly then "time out". I have talked to daycare teachers and director and we do have a plan of using a shadow person and when they can't stand by him then they will place him a play pen.

I don't think me son should be expelled and some of the posts hurt my feelings, I understand people's concerned especially if their child is getting bitten. But there are parents who care and daycares that care. I really hope that we can teach him that it is not ok to bite and to use his words. If this new strategy works I'll let you know!

This is my take on this.. but I could be wrong

No judgement here on your parenting... just giving you my take

A bite to the face is going to be the last frontier in biting. Sorry but that's where the line is clearly drawn.

For the provider it comes down to: loose you or loose the other family. Once a bite to the face happens someone is going to leave. It's easier for them to have you leave because there is a good chance there will be another bite to the face on another kid.

Shadowing isn't going to work. The cost of the person to shadow your kid is more than you pay them. Your salary won't cover three hours of a shadow person a day. They have to make money off of you not loose money. They will do it for a bit to show it doesn't work and get the documentation they need to expel him without worry of repercussions from the state or the parents of the kids who get bit.

They are offering that to cover themselves and to protect themselves for what WILL happen in the future. They aren't doing it because they think it will work.. they are following the ONLY thing they KNOW to do that will show they have done everything they CAN DO. That's for the future upset parents, the documentation they need when they expell him, and the State should they are called by you after they term him or the parents after their kid has been bitten.

Gear up for a termination... they are telling you that they are at the last stage right before they do it. It looks like they are trying to help it or solve it but they KNOW it doesn't work. They just know they HAVE to do this one last thing before they expell him. When they report the next bite they will document that they had an adult right next to him.

Being a parent is HARD. Sometimes we have to give up a lot to do the right thing by our kids and our community. It's time to either stay home with him or hire an adult who can care for him with only way older kids or no kids in the house.

I don't know how to stop a child from biting once they have started. I haven't had a bite in seventeen years here. I've only had one bite in my eighteen years of doing child care. I know how to not get it started but I don't know how to stop it once it has started.

All it took was ONE bite in my first year and I knew that couldn't happen again. :eek:

Good luck and if you HAVE to have your kid in care then you need to start interviewing. Make sure you tell them about the bite BEFORE you go to interview. Weed out the ones that can't manage it.

[Christian Mother]

Nan has great advise!! Love it!!

What I would do is inform your work that there might be a week where your going to have to leave early a couple times. They may not care about your personal issues but it's nice to at least give them a heads up and tell your daycare that they need to call you the moment a bit accures. That way you can deal with it on your own or dad for that matter. I used to work at a Christian School and that was the protocol in cases of biting. If your child isn't biting at home anymore it's bc he understands the consequences at home. He doesn't understand that at daycare. As soon as you walk in that door let the teacher bring the child that got bit and your child and then YOU need to address it with him w/the child that got bit. Others may not like this but you can take him out of the class room and to the bathroom where you spank him or you smack his hand or smack his mouth. Which ever works for you. With my son when he went through the biting faze he got suspended for daycare for 3 days and my husband picked him up from there right away at home my husband bit his arm. Not hard but enough pressure to understand that yes..that does hurt doesn't it. We never had another bit after that!! So he understood that biting hurts. Seems like since you dealt with it at home maybe taking the same steps you have at home need to be applied at daycare. :) Good luck!!

[rhymia1]

I guess I don’t understand the problem with shadowing? When a child in my care needs to be shadowed, that means they come with me, and help me do all the things I need to do. If they can't come with me (if I'm assisting another child in with toileting, etc.) they are in the high chair or pack and play with activity/toys. It doesn't disrupt *my* day at all. Admittedly I've only had a few random incidences and not serial biters. But kids in my care quickly learn that being with Ms. K all day is boring:lol:

And what if the biter is the provider's own child (in the case of home care?) you can't usually terminate your own child...
To be clear I'm talking about age appropriate toddler biting, because if it were not age appropriate (older children biting) then I would terminate.

[nannyde]

I guess I don’t understand the problem with shadowing? When a child in my care needs to be shadowed, that means they come with me, and help me do all the things I need to do. If they can't come with me (if I'm assisting another child in with toileting, etc.) they are in the high chair or pack and play with activity/toys. It doesn't disrupt *my* day at all. Admittedly I've only had a few random incidences and not serial biters. But kids in my care quickly learn that being with Ms. K all day is boring:lol:

And what if the biter is the provider's own child (in the case of home care?) you can't usually terminate your own child...
To be clear I'm talking about age appropriate toddler biting, because if it were not age appropriate (older children biting) then I would terminate.

It's too costly and finding staff willing to do all their other duties and keep a one year old next to them for weeks on end is very unrealistic.

It's good in theory but it doesn't really work in real life. Having an adult follow a one year old around is expensive. Having a one year old follow an adult around is deveolpmentally inapropriate for that child. No child that age should be following an adult doing foundational care for a group of children. He shouldn't be going with her the thirty times she has to wash her hands... the twenty times she changes diapers... the sixty times she has to GO to redirect a child off of another kid or off of inapropriate toys play... the four times she has to go to the phone... the three times she cleans the table... the two times she sets up lunch.... and on and on and on

It's just not appropriate for the kid to have to follow around an adult. Even if they did it for three weeks... a month... it doesn't give any indication that the day he's allowed to not be within feet of the adult or having an adult litterally with eyes on him every second that he's not going to lash out and bite someone on the face.

Group care should never mean that an adult has to have their visual directly on one kid all day for any length of time. The idea of group care is that it is SHARED attention. Either way of shadowing puts an undo burden on the staff and is not funded with regular tuition. It defies the premise of group care.

We are within a few feet of the kids at all time when they are playing but we do NOT have an adult set of eyes on any one kid all day long. That's just too costly. The adult has to use all of their senses to care for a group of kids. There are many many times a day when each individual child is being supervised by auditory supervision and proximity but not direct visual supervision. (For example... when we are changing a diaper... we are looking at the business end of the kid being changed... At that time the other kids are close but we don't have our EYES on them. During meals we are bringing each kid to the table... bibbing them... scooting them into the table... and giving them their grub. When we are doing each step of that we have our yes on THAT kid as we perform each one of those parts of the task. It may be two seconds here.. five seconds there.. .. twenty seconds here... but that's ALL it takes for a face bite. It happens in a couple of seconds.)

I personally would not pay for shadowing. IME it's just something TO DO in the process of terming a kid, satisfying the bitee parents, and the State. Not saying it NEVER works... but for the most part it's just treading water till the Center can prove without a reasonable doubt that they can't safely have the biter on site.

As long as the parents of the bitee will allow their kid to get bit it will work out. Once the money from those parents are at risk the shadowing goes into full affect as the first step of out the door.

[rhymia1]

Group care should never mean that an adult has to have their visual directly on one kid all day for any length of time. The idea of group care is that it is SHARED attention.

Ah, I see. My state regs actually *require* that I have visual contact with *all* my children at *all* times. Because this is how it's always been, I make it happen.

Having a one year old follow an adult around is deveolpmentally inapropriate for that child. No child that age should be following an adult doing foundational care for a group of children. He shouldn't be going with her the thirty times she has to wash her hands... the twenty times she changes diapers... the sixty times she has to GO to redirect a child off of another kid or off of inapropriate toys play... the four times she has to go to the phone... the three times she cleans the table... the two times she sets up lunch.... and on and on and on

As for not being developmentally appropriate for a child to be with a provider, I respectfully disagree. Sometimes that little bit of "extra" attention is just what the child needs. In addition, I do think that children *should* help with daily tasks - my kids clean their own plates, assist with cleaning up after activities, water plants etc. This isn't punitive, but part of being in a family. I am a child care provider, not the maid. And I know my clients would much rather their child be with me helping me out, than biting another child.

But again, I'm thinking of the random times this has happened here. If it became a constant issue, wasn't age appropriate, etc. then I might have a different thought.

[nannyde]

Ah, I see. My state regs actually *require* that I have visual contact with *all* my children at *all* times. Because this is how it's always been, I make it happen.

No you don't.

It's physically impossible. There's no possible way you could do tasks that require visual percision to safely do it AND look at EACH of the other kids at the same time.

The visual diversion may be three seconds... fifteen seconds... seven seconds... but that's how long it takes a kid to bite another kids face.

I was VERY specific on what I meant

For example... when we are changing a diaper... we are looking at the business end of the kid being changed... At that time the other kids are close but we don't have our EYES on them. During meals we are bringing each kid to the table... bibbing them... scooting them into the table... and giving them their grub. When we are doing each step of that we have our yes on THAT kid as we perform each one of those parts of the task. It may be two seconds here.. five seconds there.. .. twenty seconds here... but that's ALL it takes for a face bite. It happens in a couple of seconds

There is a difference between having children within your visual FIELD and having visual contac each child with all kids all the time.

You are sitting in a room with a lot of experienced providers. We all know that what you are saying is litterally impossible. ;)

[Country Kids]

Sorry Nan but I'm one that with my set up all the children are in my visual contact at all times. We come to the table at the same time, go outside at the same time, have it set up so I face the children during diaper changing, etc. I did have a bite happen a couple of months ago and the funny thing is it happened as we were doing an activity and I saw the child do it! Last time it happened to because the child realized that I can see everything they do. They were very shocked when right as they were doing it I said "No biting" and removed them to be right by me.

[nannyde]

Sorry Nan but I'm one that with my set up all the children are in my visual contact at all times. We come to the table at the same time, go outside at the same time, have it set up so I face the children during diaper changing, etc. I did have a bite happen a couple of months ago and the funny thing is it happened as we were doing an activity and I saw the child do it! Last time it happened to because the child realized that I can see everything they do. They were very shocked when right as they were doing it I said "No biting" and removed them to be right by me.

I'm not saying you can't be within a visual field of the kids. What I'm saying is there are visually specific care related tasks that need your eyes to be ON a child. It is impossible to care for kids and be able to see all of them at the same time... even if they are standing RIGHT next to you when you are focusing in on one part of the child's body.

It matters because it puts providers into the position where they are held accountable for a level of visual supervision that is impossible physically to do if you have more than one kid.

This issue comes up when there is a bite and it comes up a lot in the "solution" of shadowing.

[Blackcat31]

Sorry Nan but I'm one that with my set up all the children are in my visual contact at all times. We come to the table at the same time, go outside at the same time, have it set up so I face the children during diaper changing, etc. I did have a bite happen a couple of months ago and the funny thing is it happened as we were doing an activity and I saw the child do it! Last time it happened to because the child realized that I can see everything they do. They were very shocked when right as they were doing it I said "No biting" and removed them to be right by me.

I agree with you but I also agree with what Nan is saying, as you are typing today on this forum....you are not making direct visual contact with the kiddos you have in care. They may be in your visual field but you are focused on something else......

[Country Kids]

I agree with you but I also agree with what Nan is saying, as you are typing today on this forum....you are not making direct visual contact with the kiddos you have in care. They may be in your visual field but you are focused on something else......

Only had one and he was sitting by me playing quietly. I'm on here when the I only have one, they are sleeping, or done for the day.

[Kaddidle Care]

I had a biter - my own son. 1st time he was playing with another little boy who was extremely rough and my son didn't know how to handle it. He was about 2 1/2 and he bit his arm. He was removed from play and reprimanded by me. I was shocked. :eek:

2nd time he was 3 and playing with his 18 month old cousin. They struggled over a toy, she fell on top of him and he bit her cheek. It was horrible and I felt like the worst mother on earth. Again - he was reprimanded and removed from play. (Thankfully she didn't scar)

3rd time he was in a friend's pool and his friend mocked him and pointed her finger at him and he bit it. At this point he was around 4/5 and I was fit to be tied. I called him over, grabbed his hand and bit his finger. A bigger look of shock you will never see on a child. He was ousted from the pool and brought home and I wouldn't let him forget what he did. I did not draw blood but it was enough to let him know it HURT.

Thankfully it was the last time he ever did it.

While I know you should never bite a child, I'm telling you it's what worked with mine.

We cannot do this in Childcare but we can send them home. Our center has a 3 strike policy on biting. 3 bites = immediate termination.

[nannyde]

Our center has a 3 strike policy on biting. 3 bites = immediate termination.

The good news about that is that it is very clear and unemotional. Parents know upfront that it's not personal. If their kid bites they just can't be THERE. They have to find care for him where he can bite or care where there isn't anyone around to bite.

That kind of policy is WAY better than a big process where the staff has to prove they are doing EVERYTHING they can do to stop it. It puts it directly on the facts... that's it. Three bites you are audi

[Blackcat31]

Only had one and he was sitting by me playing quietly. I'm on here when the I only have one, they are sleeping, or done for the day.

;) understood.

[JenNJ]

Gear up for a termination... they are telling you that they are at the last stage right before they do it. It looks like they are trying to help it or solve it but they KNOW it doesn't work. They just know they HAVE to do this one last thing before they expel him. When they report the next bite they will document that they had an adult right next to him.

Nan is correct. Shadowing is the last step before termination. In your case, you need to start looking for a nanny NOW. Today. Group care is not going to work with a biter (specifically a FACE biter).

Typically bites happen on the back, shoulders, and arms of other children and usually in response to a frustration and a lack of verbal skills. Face biting is uncommon and in my experience more of a power move. Your child is experimenting with cause and effect. "When I bite my playmate, he screams, the teachers run around, I get attention, and I am in control." Everything in the room stops and all the attention is on your child. Every single time he bites, this is what will happen. In my opinion, bites like this come without warning and there is nothing that can be done to stop it in a group care setting.

Your child needs one on one care for an extended time to stop this behavior. Whether you or your partner stay home full time to deal with it or you hire a nanny to follow your methods, one on one care is the only thing that will stop it at this point.

[rhymia1]

No you don't.

It's physically impossible. There's no possible way you could do tasks that require visual percision to safely do it AND look at EACH of the other kids at the same time.

The visual diversion may be three seconds... fifteen seconds... seven seconds... but that's how long it takes a kid to bite another kids face.

I was VERY specific on what I meant

For example... when we are changing a diaper... we are looking at the business end of the kid being changed... At that time the other kids are close but we don't have our EYES on them. During meals we are bringing each kid to the table... bibbing them... scooting them into the table... and giving them their grub. When we are doing each step of that we have our yes on THAT kid as we perform each one of those parts of the task. It may be two seconds here.. five seconds there.. .. twenty seconds here... but that's ALL it takes for a face bite. It happens in a couple of seconds

There is a difference between having children within your visual FIELD and having visual contac each child with all kids all the time.

You are sitting in a room with a lot of experienced providers. We all know that what you are saying is litterally impossible. ;)

It's not. Like another poster, my set up is so that I can see the children. Areas that I can't see are gated off. I use mirrors for corners (the kids think I'm G*d:lol: ) When there is going to be a situation where I don't have direct visual contact the children (I need to use the bathroom) the children need to be set up at the table (right outside the bathroom) a child who has bitten would be in the high chair.
I am one who does't use the computer at all when children are awake/here, so that's not an issue.
And I do agree that if it's something more than a week or so of shadowing can help, the child needs to go elsewhere.
But as to the other, I'll agree to disagree at this point, because it's a gorgeous day here and I don't have any kids here:Sunny:

[nannyde]

It's not. Like another poster, my set up is so that I can see the children. Areas that I can't see are gated off. I use mirrors for corners (the kids think I'm G*d:lol: ) When there is going to be a situation where I don't have direct visual contact the children (I need to use the bathroom) the children need to be set up at the table (right outside the bathroom) a child who has bitten would be in the high chair.
I am one who does't use the computer at all when children are awake/here, so that's not an issue.
And I do agree that if it's something more than a week or so of shadowing can help, the child needs to go elsewhere.
But as to the other, I'll agree to disagree at this point, because it's a gorgeous day here and I don't have any kids here:Sunny:

Nah it's impossible. When you are caring for birth to five there are many times a day when in order to keep them SAFE and provide proper care you HAVE to visually and selectively ONLY look at what you and they are doing.

When you are feeding a newborn you HAVE to focus directly on their lips and cheeks when you are offering them the bottle. You have to make sure that the nipple is properly placed and grasped. You have to make sure the milk is going in and not coming out on the sides. You have to check flow of the fluid... You have to check to make sure they are breathing in between sucks. You have to make sure they are swallowing at a pace equal to the sucking. You have to have groupings of seconds to JUST look DOWNWARD and see what that baby is doing. It wouldn't be safe to do that head up.

When you are cleaning a diaper blow out you HAVE to look directly at the child's body. You have to carefully remove the onesie and the shirt over the head to make sure you aren't getting fecal matter in their eyes or their hair. You have to look DIRECTLY at the child and the child's body in order to do it safely and keep the mess contained.

When you are cleaning them up after the clothes are removed you HAVE to scan them to make sure there is no residue of fecal matter on any part of their body.

When you are applying butt cream you HAVE to look directly at all the creases and areas that are affected with the rash. You HAVE to spread the cream evenly.

Hundreds and hundreds of times a day in the care of kids you are diverting your eyes to ONE child to provide what they need. Within those seconds of direct visual care that is required to care for them properly... you will not have direct visual contact with the other children... be in one more or six more.

There's no set up in the world that nets constant direct visual every single second or small gouping of seconds supervision of all of the kids when there is more than one kid with one adult.

It's impossible. It may be that it seems mincing words but it's within those few seconds that differentiate GROUP care from individual care.

[Cat Herder]

It's not. Like another poster, my set up is so that I can see the children. Areas that I can't see are gated off. I use mirrors for corners (the kids think I'm G*d:lol: ) When there is going to be a situation where I don't have direct visual contact the children (I need to use the bathroom) the children need to be set up at the table (right outside the bathroom) a child who has bitten would be in the high chair.
I am one who doesn't use the computer at all when children are awake/here, so that's not an issue.
And I do agree that if it's something more than a week or so of shadowing can help, the child needs to go elsewhere.
But as to the other, I'll agree to disagree at this point, because it's a gorgeous day here and I don't have any kids here:Sunny:

So during diaper changes, food prep and serving, wiping another child's face, tossing out a dirty Kleenex, picking up a broken toy, and the other MILLION times when you are looking directly at another child or object you would keep this biter confined to a high chair?

It is possible for you to 100% of the time see what each child is doing even while directly focusing on another child's needs??

IMHO, It is not possible. I am sorry. I can't believe anyone would believe that.

I am in the same room at all times, my kids even have their own playrooms...within a great room. Occassionally things happen. It is a fact of life.

We are not super human...We stack the odds in our favor as much as possible and deal with issues as they present themselves. Biting is no different.

[nannyde]

IMHO, It is not possible. I am sorry. I can't believe anyone would believe that.


I have a full time staff assistant and I couldn't manage that. Even with two of us here it's gonna happen.

It's not even safe. I wouldn't want my child in the care of someone who wouldn't focus ON him directly when he needed immediate and precise care.

[Cat Herder]

I have a full time staff assistant and I couldn't manage that. Even with two of us here it's gonna happen.

It is also unfair to new providers who read that because they will feel like failures ALL THE TIME to think they are the ONE childcare provider in the world that cannot do this. :(

Not even mentioning the Mothers at home with a few small childen. :eek: I can't imagine the pressure of that.....;)

Nobody is superhuman. We TRY really hard, though....:ouch:

[Unregistered]

I had a 18 month old bite my own son last year for almost 6 months. I was stupid and put up with it b/c I was new to daycare, thought it was typical toddler behavior and the mom swore it never happened to anyone but my son. She always blamed me and said since my son got more attention from me her child bit out of jealousy. I was stupid and put up with it. One day this child bit another child (we didnt know) while we were at an outing. I termed them that day (gave notice so they could make other arrangements) and was never happier when they stopped coming.

I have my teaching lic and lots of experience with kids. I can't say why some kids start biting but in this case there was no fixing it. I tried everything and simply couldnt stop the behavior.

I am still friends with the mom and will allow the kid to come back for back up care. She comes less than 1x a month and now at almost 3 I can say with certainty she hasn't changed one bit. She currently attends a daycare with only school age kids (who are obviously quick enough to get away from her). She has no play skills, pushes, hits, whines, cries etc when she doesn't get her way. I don't think I would have survived the last year with her in my home everyday and do not for one minute regret getting rid of her.

I think you need to stand up for your own child and term. Maybe there is nothing wrong with this kid but it obviously isnt working at your daycare. Don't beat yourself up over it, I did and for a long time I felt like I had failed. I have learned that it isnt my job to fix other peoples kids problems. Move on for your own child's sake.

[rhymia1]

So during diaper changes, food prep and serving, wiping another child's face, tossing out a dirty Kleenex, picking up a broken toy, and the other MILLION times when you are looking directly at another child or object you would keep this biter confined to a high chair?

It is possible for you to 100% of the time see what each child is doing even while directly focusing on another child's needs??

IMHO, It is not possible. I am sorry. I can't believe anyone would believe that.

I am in the same room at all times, my kids even have their own playrooms...within a great room. Occassionally things happen. It is a fact of life.

We are not super human...We stack the odds in our favor as much as possible and deal with issues as they present themselves. Biting is no different.

Wow. I never said I was superhuman:confused: I tried to convey that I create my environment to be able to keep tabs on the children at all times. And yes, if I had a child who was biting, he would have to be confined for everyone's safety. To me, that's common sense. But I've also admitted that the few times I've had a child bite it's been age appropriate (15 months-2.5 years) and a one time thing. I haven't had serial biters or biters who were older or had other aggressive issues.

It's not even safe. I wouldn't want my child in the care of someone who wouldn't focus ON him directly when he needed immediate and precise care

And I wouldn't want my child in a care situation where the provider's first thought is to terminate if there is a difficult situation.

And with that thought, I bow out. I came to get ideas on how to keep school agers amused this summer, not to argue over issues I don't have.

[nannyde]

And I wouldn't want my child in a care situation where the provider's first thought is to terminate if there is a difficult situation.

Depends on what difficult is. When it comes to harming one of my kids.. yes that's too difficult for me. I know what I can and can't do. I can't manage a child that hurts a kid.

One of the biggest sellers of my daycare is having a LONG LONG history of no violence in my day care. Parents know when they come here that their kid will go home unscathed.

It's one of my specialties... no violence

[Unregistered]

I babysit from my home and I am in the process of getting certified to have a home day care. I have been watching this one child for this entire summer. He is 22 months and he is a biter. The child that he is biting is my 20 month old. He does seem to bite more when he is frustrated, but sometimes it is just because.

I can not keep my eyes on him every second of the day and I feel so bad for my poor child getting bit multiple times a day. When I tell the mother at the end of the day, her solution is to bite him and yell at him. I know she is his mother, but that just doesn't make sense to me. There is no way that child knows that he is being punished for something he did 2 hours ago. It makes me not want to tell her that he has been biting, but at the same time she needs to be told. I am at my wits end. I have started putting him in the play pen whenever I need to take my eyes off of him for an extended time. Or he or my son follow me, so they are not left together.

Should I go ahead and tell the mom I can't keep him anymore? I just can't stand it when my child gets hurt. It makes me angry. I know the biter is a baby too, so I do keep my cool with him.

[Brooklyn's Mommy]

My daughter has been attending the same daycare for 2 1/2 years (since she was almost 1) and has had constant, ongoing problems with being bitten. While in the baby room (before the age of 2), my daughter couldn't tell me who was biting her and the daycare's policy is not to disclose that information, but it was happening constantly (and really bad bites with broken skin, blood and teeth marks that lasted for days). Then, as my daughter's speaking skills developed, she started telling me it was this "Victoria" girl at her daycare that was biting her. For a while, I didn't believe her because they seem to play well together. The daycare just kept saying that it was because they were young and "the biter" didn't have the verbal skills to express herself, so she was biting when frustrated. Eventually, after my daughter repeatedly naming this child I felt quite certain it was "Victoria" who was doing the biting. I have now been able to learn more about the "incidents" when the biting is occuring and the daycare is baffled! Victoria is targetting my daughter (and others) completely UNPROVOKED! The last 3 incidents happened while my daughter was playing/reading on her own and Victoria comes out of no where and bites her! And THAT IS WITH A "SHADOW" STAFF PERSON WATCHING HER! The daycare has apparently tried everything in their power to keep the biter under watch and prevent her from biting (particularly my child because I have raised such a stink about it!). They give the biter time outs, remove her from play, have tried to make her help "her friend" by putting ice on the wounds that she causes and nothing works! This last incident happened with her "shadow" standing RIGHT THERE! The daycare has tried everthing. They have no clear policy on next steps (ie. expulsion) and they seem to be willing to continue to work with "the biter" even though (after 2 1/2 years) they have NO IDEA what her triggers are! The incidents are so random and can not be predicted in any way, yet they are very severe in nature.

As the parent of the victim, I have HAD ENOUGH! I don't care if your child is the biter and is "otherwise a good child"! If your child is repeatedly and consistently brutalizing and bullying all the other children, then REMOVE YOUR CHILD AND FIND ANOTHER MORE SUITABLE SETTING FOR YOUR CHILD! I am tired of hearing excuses for this behaviour! What type of message is it sending all the other kids?! First, it tells them that their safety and security doesn't matter and figuring out the psychy of the problem child is more important. Second, it tells them that there are no 'real' consequences for their actions and even if you break the rules, you will be fine. In fact! You are actually rewarded by breaking the rules because now you get a daycare provider devoted to you 24/7 to answer your every whim, while the other 7 children under that workers charge need to wait in line!

I have been VERY patient allowing them time over this past 2 1/2 years to figure things out and work with this child. NOTHING HAS WORKED and I am done waiting! I am done paying $500/month to have my child terrorized by one bully! My daughter is being robbed of her sense of security. I rely on her feeling safe and comfortable there, to make life less stressful and enjoyable for us both! Because of these incidences, I have a 3 1/2 year old who is terrified to go to daycare! I have to struggle to get her out of the house in the morning and then pry her from my neck when we get there. ALL BECAUSE SHE IS TERRIFIED, WONDERING WHEN THIS DEMON CHILD WILL ATTACK HER NEXT! I am exhausted with it all! I should not have to deal with the stress of this! Daycares are not required to "fix" your children! If you have a child with a behavioural problem, then remove your child and seek out the care that best suits their needs!

Thanks for reading.

[Unregistered]

Yesterday my son got kicked out of the daycare, let me explain the story. When my son was born i had to put him in a daycare, he was not but a few months old when a little girl a year and a half older then him started biting him, well the provider would never tell us about it or produce reports, so one day i decided to watch her, the little girl walked up to my son and bit him on the back 2 times, the provider was staring at her the whole time this is going on, she did not fuss the little girl but instead fussed my son who did nothing. so i took him out of there and put him in another daycare, well he started biting there, but it wasn't all the time, accually the only time he would bite was when he was biten first, well yesterday he bite a little boy in the face, the daycare called me up and told me i needed to pick up my son and he was no longer welcomed back, when i got there she had all of his stuff in a bag waiting for me at the front door. i was irate with this, then i called her later to find out about something else and she proceeded to tell me that they excluded him from the halloween party and made him watch the other kids in there costumes and getting candy while he was being punished and waiting for me. what would you do in my situation


In a situation where your kid is hurting other children and they do not have enough staff to have one person dedicated to him that is their easy solution, I particularly work with the parentand child for a period of tiem, but if it not works I do give a three week notice. I have 11 children for 3 providers so we can not have one provider dedicated all the time to one child for months that will means that 2 to 3 children are gettng neglected. Why do they separete your child out of the Halloween party was he bitting? I would do the same first time for 2 minutes for each year of age second time a little longer, if he keeps bitting I will separete him to another room, he need to get consecuences for his bad choises like to be price for the good ones. This days people talk all the time about children rights that I think is wonderful, but what about about their duties like to be nice, be respectfull etc...this are things that need to be taught as early as we can.

[Unregistered]

My son was kicked out Daycare today for biting. Unfortunatley this is not the first time. When it started he was about 18 months and the day care he was in started sending him home about once a week for biting. Then they kicked him out. I tried everything, there were no other daycares with openings and I had to quit my job. I made up my mind to take some time off with him and try to let him mature. I stayed home with him for a year. When I first put him in daycare again he did not bite. He started a few months after. I was getting called to pick him up all the time. So I switched him to another daycare before he could get kicked out again. Once again he did not bite for a month or so. Then he started biting at that daycare too. My child was refered to special education for learing disabilities, so I had to move to a daycare in the school district so he could get picked up. He did not bite at first at this new Daycare either. Then he started bitting everyday. This morning when I went to drop him off, the director told me that the State called and said my son could no longer attend the daycare because he had bit another child and caused the child to bleed. I dont know what to do. The family doctor never has any answers, so I'm wondering what type of doctor I should take him to? Does anyone know if he can go to another daycare now that he has been reported by the state? I dont want to have to keep moving him around but I need to work. It's really not fair that he has to keep going through adjusting over and over again. I also have a daughter who each time this happens has to start over again at a new daycare and hard for her as well.

You need to take responsability in your children behaivor. You have to give consecuences for his act at home too, a daycare provider can not do all the job, This days people talk all about childrens rights that I think is wonderful, but what about childrens duties and responsabilities like be nice, respectful etc...a two minutes timeout is not going to make any change and providers cannot do anything else, so it is your responsability. Other thing providers can be sue by the bitees parents?

[Unregistered]

I currently work at a center where we have a child that has been biting. It started about six months ago and stopped for a while, but this week he has bitten someone everyday. Today, he bit 3 children. He is the ONLY child that bites.. We have brought this to the owners attention (she's never there) but we are not getting much support. She suggested we seperate the child from the others, but we are a small center, don't have too many staff members and can't really "afford" to have a teacher watch 1 child while there are few to watch the others. This little boy is 2 1/2 years old, only bites if someone has something he wants. I have tried to help him by telling him we don't bite our friends, and I know you want that toy but "Jill" is playing with it right now, we have to wait our turn.. Etc.. I have also tried to give him as much extra special attention when possible and make a big deal out it when he does something good and kind. We have had this lil guy since he was about 3 months old and I love him. I'm just frustrated because we've tried many things that don't work. I understand how the other parents feel. I know of many other daycares that would not let this continue. I'm not sure what to do? I'm actually considering trying to find another job because of the lack of support from the owner.

[Concerned Mommy]

Here is my concern. My child has had one-on-one in home care for the first 21 months. Recently we transitioned to pre-school daycare. In 6 weeks my child was bit twice. And has bit antother once (she bit another the same day she was bit). Those were reported. I understand biting is a normal part of the toddler life.

However, there have been two instances when she had injuries and it was never reported. One was a scraped forehead and scratch all the way down the face, down to the chin. The other was a bite on the shoulder that had broken the skin. I didn't notice until bath time.

So it could be they know and don't report it. Or they aren't watching and it goes unnoticed. Both options are unacceptable. Or it could just be that toddlers are so active it's hard to catch everything. (I didn't mention that she has had other bruises, marks, etc. Those I figured could be from just regular playing... I don't overreact on every mark).

At what point should I be concerned? Is this normal? What if they just aren't reporting all the incidents out of fear that parents will remove their kids/revenue?

[Crystal]

Here is my concern. My child has had one-on-one in home care for the first 21 months. Recently we transitioned to pre-school daycare. In 6 weeks my child was bit twice. And has bit antother once (she bit another the same day she was bit). Those were reported. I understand biting is a normal part of the toddler life.

However, there have been two instances when she had injuries and it was never reported. One was a scraped forehead and scratch all the way down the face, down to the chin. The other was a bite on the shoulder that had broken the skin. I didn't notice until bath time.

So it could be they know and don't report it. Or they aren't watching and it goes unnoticed. Both options are unacceptable. Or it could just be that toddlers are so active it's hard to catch everything. (I didn't mention that she has had other bruises, marks, etc. Those I figured could be from just regular playing... I don't overreact on every mark).

At what point should I be concerned? Is this normal? What if they just aren't reporting all the incidents out of fear that parents will remove their kids/revenue?

A scratch of that nature, especially on the face, most definitley should have been noticed by the provider/teacher. Even if the provider did not witness it first hand, she would have had to have known it happened and found out what DID happen. The bite should not have gone unnoticed either....a bite that breaks the skin is certainly going to result in a SCREAMING victim......there is no reason at all for either incident to not be documented. These types of injuries are not normal, every day "bumps and bruises" types of injuries.

Did you ask the provider/teacher at pick up about the face marks and ask the following day about the bite marks, and if yes, what was the response?

[Kaddidle Care]

You said PreSchool so you're talking about a 3-4 year old? How big is the class and how big is the Daycare class? Pay close attention to the Adult/Student ratio. If 1 adult has more than 7 children to watch alone, there will be problems unless they have a perfect bunch of children.

Do talk to your provider today. If the Center is very busy it may be that they just didn't have time to write it down. If the workers do shift work the afternoon crew may not know what happened so talk to the morning people first. Ask them how they treated the injury as well. Did they clean it? Ice it? Ignore it?

As Crystal said, a scratch that large or a bite would produce quite a stir that would usually involve LOUD crying. If nobody knows what happened
it's time to consider moving your child.

[Unregistered]

My 17 month old is in daycare. She started getting bit around 10 months old. As far as I am aware it is mainly the same child doing the bitting. She has gotten bit at least 7 times since the middle of August. I realize my child could have been the bitter and actually bit last week, however why should all the children in the classroom have to suffer because of this one child bitting everyone.

Help :-(

[Crystal]

My 17 month old is in daycare. She started getting bit around 10 months old. As far as I am aware it is mainly the same child doing the bitting. She has gotten bit at least 7 times since the middle of August. I realize my child could have been the bitter and actually bit last week, however why should all the children in the classroom have to suffer because of this one child bitting everyone.

Help :-(

Only you can help. If they are not removing the biter, you remove your child. That simple.

[Concerned Mommy]

A scratch of that nature, especially on the face, most definitley should have been noticed by the provider/teacher. Even if the provider did not witness it first hand, she would have had to have known it happened and found out what DID happen. The bite should not have gone unnoticed either....a bite that breaks the skin is certainly going to result in a SCREAMING victim......there is no reason at all for either incident to not be documented. These types of injuries are not normal, every day "bumps and bruises" types of injuries.

Did you ask the provider/teacher at pick up about the face marks and ask the following day about the bite marks, and if yes, what was the response?

-----------------------------------------------------------

So an update to my 23 month old daughter who had bites... so we are now looking at 4 bites in 8 weeks... and just on Friday, this bite was on the FACE. No bite is ever easy to take when you see marks on your child... but on the face.... it was just shocking and horribly upsetting.

It is not their policy to say who the biter is... but my daughter did say a name... and basically it was confirmed from the conversation I had this morning. This boy is always all over my daughter. When I picked her up one day, I saw him tackler her... I believe he has bit her at least once before... I saw a incident report taped to his cubby the same day she had hers from being bit. I am thinking I need a parent-teacher conference. For daycare professionals out there... is there something that can be done if you have the same culprit biting a certain child? Is it time to move on to a new school?

For the previous incidents that went "unnoticed"... basically they said they never saw her cry... didn't notice anything out of the ordinary... seems unbelievable when you have a bite hard enough to break the skin... they apologized but said they didn't see it. This one on the face though.... everyone could see that... clear individual teeth marks on her cheekbone right below her eye.

[Unregistered]

Here's my biting child problem. My DD is 16 months old and I was just told she's bitten a little boy at her daycare (almost 3 years old) a couple times. He bullies her and is aggressive with her, taking toys away and pushing her down. Apparently (I'm told) she only bites him when she is basically at her wit's end. She can't say "stop" yet, but will make verbal cues meaning she'd like him to stop. After biting him, he stops. The daycare provider actually sides more with her (my DD) saying she understands why she does it, but she also does put her in time out for biting. My DD has never bitten anyone else, just this little boy. I dont know what I can do, as a parent, to get her to stop. I can't punish her after the fact of course, since I don't see her until hours later. I feel like the blame is more with the boy who shouldn't be pushing her down and being rough with her, but there isn't anything I can personally do about that either. I don't want her to learn that biting is how to solve her problems.

[Opinion]

Here's the tough part- those who work in a day care can't really do any punishment rather than time out. When a child bites, they fill out a form for the parent that they must sign right in front of them. The parents are made aware. And if the child is 1, you can't exactly reason with them yet. Telling them to "use words" doesn't work. Also, a lot of times, and I hate to say it, but the biter bites because a child has yanked away a toy or a item of clothing or anything that the child was using. So it's not always just a big bully biting... Sometimes it's the kid being bullied. And what about when you're changing a child's diaper? Your back is turned long enough to clean them up and a bite happens. Day care workers do not have eyes on the back of their heads! They can't lock up a biter or anything like that. And to have one person constantly shadow a child is certainly unreasonable. Schools don't even do that.

[Unregistered]

My son is only 18 months and has recently started biting at daycare. From what I have been told it is usually one other boy, but twice has been his "best buddy". I feel completely helpless as he does not act like this around me. He is an only child (for another 8 months anyways) so he isn't around other toddlers at home to tempt him, and for me to correct him. Today he got sent home because he bit twice in one day. I got in my car and fought back tears the whole way there. It is not like I can discipline him hours later. He is not old enough to understand. I'm afraid too that by picking him up like I did today will only teach him that if he bites Mommy or Daddy will show up to get him. I am embarassed, frustrated, and feel so helpless. I know the other parents are pretty upset as well. Our daycare doesn't have a confidentiality policy, or if they do they don't follow it. I am going to talk with the Director to see if we can come up with some kind of plan. That is the only thing that I can do.

[Unregistered]

My child was restrained in a highchair ALL DAY by his daycare provider(s) b/c he had bitten a child. This restraining had gone on for 3 days straight. Fortunately I found out about it and immediately pulled my child from the daycare. I have another child who was a "victim" of biting when she was in daycare, so I have been on both sides of this. Restraining a child is NEVER okay to teach them a lesson. My child was barely 17 months old when this occurred.

[Cat Herder]

My child was restrained in a highchair ALL DAY by his daycare provider(s) b/c he had bitten a child. This restraining had gone on for 3 days straight. Fortunately I found out about it and immediately pulled my child from the daycare. I have another child who was a "victim" of biting when she was in daycare, so I have been on both sides of this. Restraining a child is NEVER okay to teach them a lesson. My child was barely 17 months old when this occurred.

It most likely was not about teaching him anything. :( It was probably the ONLY way the provider had to keep the other kids safe. :o

Most toddler rooms are not set up to handle this. :( Not enough room for them to spread out and the frustration builds for them.

I would not go back to work in a "typical" center for ANYTHING. Failure techniques are the only options you are given as an employee. :(

I am willing to bet the teacher did not like doing it, either. :( I am glad she told you the truth (at least I pray she did). That does not happen enough, IMHO. :o

Sorry it happened. :(

[Unregistered]

I am wondering if anyone knows my rights as a parent regarding my child being a biter. First off, she NEVER bites at home and she has 3 siblings. I am continually getting calls from daycare stating that my child has bitten and broken the skin and per daycare policy, the child must be removed for 24 hours due to this issue. I understand that this is the policy and I have been fine with it intil now because it is jeopardizing my job. I always explain to her that biting is not ok and it hurts her friends and they dont like to be bit and neither does she. My frustration is that I am beginning to believe that there is not skin broken and they just dont want to deal with my child. I understand that if another child bites mine they cannot tell me who did it. understood and fine with that. BUT I am beginning to feel like I need proof that this is actually happening to they extent that they state. they tell me they are not allowed to tell me who she bit, but I also feel that if they are making me miss almost 2 days of work and are jeopardizing my employment that I should be allowed to see some proof. Does anuone know what my rights are, and also how to get her to quit biting???? its only in times of conflict or like today, I asked them to keep a close eye on her because she had a tough morning and is tired due to she woke up at 4 and never went back to sleep. lo and behold I get a call 2 hours later saying I need to come get her and she cant come back tomorrow and then got written up at work before I left for taking so many days off. What are my rights and what do I do?????????

[Cat Herder]

I am wondering if anyone knows my rights as a parent regarding my child being a biter. First off, she NEVER bites at home and she has 3 siblings. I am continually getting calls from daycare stating that my child has bitten and broken the skin and per daycare policy, the child must be removed for 24 hours due to this issue. I understand that this is the policy and I have been fine with it intil now because it is jeopardizing my job. I always explain to her that biting is not ok and it hurts her friends and they dont like to be bit and neither does she. My frustration is that I am beginning to believe that there is not skin broken and they just dont want to deal with my child. I understand that if another child bites mine they cannot tell me who did it. understood and fine with that. BUT I am beginning to feel like I need proof that this is actually happening to they extent that they state. they tell me they are not allowed to tell me who she bit, but I also feel that if they are making me miss almost 2 days of work and are jeopardizing my employment that I should be allowed to see some proof. Does anuone know what my rights are, and also how to get her to quit biting???? its only in times of conflict or like today, I asked them to keep a close eye on her because she had a tough morning and is tired due to she woke up at 4 and never went back to sleep. lo and behold I get a call 2 hours later saying I need to come get her and she cant come back tomorrow and then got written up at work before I left for taking so many days off. What are my rights and what do I do?????????

IMHO, It is time to start looking for a new daycare environment. :o

There are MANY reasons I say this. First and foremost, the current classroom environment and your relationship with the providers is not benefitting anyone, especially your daughter.

Typically we only sent them home a couple times before we had enough documented evidence to show we fulfilled our responsibility to try to resolve the issue. Termination usually follows with limited notice. :o

I can tell you that I have had kids come to me after having been expelled and never have the first issue due to our program. Sometimes a change of environment is just what the child needed.

[jojosmommy]

I had a daycare child who repeatedly bit my own son at daycare over a number of months. I should not have put up with it as long as I did as it was not healthy for anyone involved.

I too suggest looking for another daycare. First because it is not healthy for your child (and the kids who are getting bit) but also because you will likely be getting a termination notice soon. I belive it is environment and will be the first to admit that some environments do not work for some kids. Plain and simple it may not be the right place for your child at this stage of her development. Not saying there is anything wrong with the daycare or your child at this point, it is just not the right place right now.

I don't think it is appropriate to ask for proof. Asking for evidence proves you don't trust what the provider is saying and for me that is an immediate termination. Often times kids only bite at daycare and not at home so suggesting that it is not happening simply becuase you have not seen it at home would only irritate me more as a provider.

I would start looking elsewhere, tell the provider you are planning on doing so (because of the biting) and ask them to work with you while you are looking for the right place for your child. Any provider with a heart will let you look for the right place if they can safely have your child in care in the mean time. Otherwise you may be better off using a temporary sitter so that you don't have to be off work everyday.

[ycats]

I recently went through a biting stage with my daughter, she starting biting at 16-17 months and got to a point where I was signing an incident report 3 times a week. Around 22 months, she got kicked out of that facility. In that time frame I was beside myself, hated the fact that other kids where being bitten but also trying to go through every form of discipline and conditioning I could think of. I even did a few spankings, but it was clear to me that they weren't working - one incident she bit right after I had spanked her. The facility she got kicked out of tried to bump up monitoring her as the incidents increased but alas it still didn't help.

We found a new facility and I talked to the director before we admitted her because I wanted her feedback on what they could try, turns out the director's child went through the same frustrations with her child. She assured me that the new instructors would focus on communication techniques ( the words "not nice" entered her vocabulary). But she also assured me that most biters grow out of it, that it truly is a "developmental" problem that many grow out of. My little one did bite a few times at the new facility but I'm proud to say that at 2 years she hasn't had an incident for almost 2 months.

One thing that is clear to me, the new facility has teachers that seem better educated on tactics to deal with behavior issues. And they work! If you are the parent of a bitee, one thing you might want to consider: what exactly are teachers and faculty doing to curb the behavior of the biters? How hard are they working at it? I was blaming myself and my child for her behavior but in retrospect it didn't seem like the facility that she was in was capable of dealing with her issues.

[Unregistered]

To mom who had enough: I would have terminated you for a threat like that

[sariejohnston]

I can relate i have a child in my class who is 2 years old they bite all the time, there are times they do so good not biting for weeks and its out of the blue they start biting again, just last week they bit Three children in one day, my director then told me if they bites again i was to call her mom and have them pick their child up. i always set them in time out and talk to them about biting how it hurts its not nice, but they keep doing it, i have talked to their mom more then once and other parents are getting mad because this keeps being an issue, my daycare doesnt have a policy on it we just put them in time out but i think we need to have a policy on this that says if they become are harming other kids they are no longer allowed due to being dangerous to be around and they can no longer come back until issue is taking care of. i don't know how much longer i can take it, i am always in my room watching after these kids, making sure to keep them busy with activities for them to do. i honestly think this child does it for the attention. today she bit two children i have to talk to her mom when she gets here i don't know what to tell her i am out of ideas.

[MMk9987]

Dear Unregistered


I work in a child care center also I work with 1 year olds and their is one dcb in my class who is known for hitting. on my first day I am a teachers aide I had to write on his daily report so that his mom could see it. I mean none of us workers like that we have to write the children up but they are a year old and they need to know hitting is not okay but also i feel like the parents need to be teaching them not to hit also. if they are not being disciplined at home when they come to school and we have to be the bad guys and tell them no do not hit.

[MrsB]

As a daycare provider for many years, I have seen my fair share of biters. Although I see the need for the child to be picked up, for the daycare to place sole responsibility on the parents isnt necessarily fair. Since alot of times the parent isnt seeing it at home. With most of the children I have had biting using a technique where you simply say "no biting, that hurts" and exclude them from your attention, the childs attention, and what ever activity they are doing or toy they are playing with seems to help better than going into a big long explanation. When you are talking to a toddler the fewer words you use the more they will understand. Esentially you are giving them a time out but I try not to use the word time out. Kids are in timeout so much that they become desensatized to it. If you can make more fuss about the child who is hurt and more ignoring of the biting behavior then they wont use biting as tecnique to get attention. Also for the kids that are doing out of frustration. You have to "see" the frustration and direct it in the right way before the result is biting. Biting is an end result of frustration. We have a bean bag pillow that the kids use when they are really frustrated and they learn to hit the pillow and use their words to the pillow to calm down rather than hiting or biting the other kids. Once they learn this then they can direct their words towards the kids rather than the pillow.
In one instance, I had a child that was an aweful biter, I tried everything I knew of to try. I was in constant contact with the parent on different things to try. Together with the parent we came up with using a squirt bottle. If I saw him begin to get frustrated or go to bite, I would squirt him more on a stream than a mist. Sure it took alot of time on my part the first few hours, because I had to basically have an eye on him at all times. When I would make lunch, or go potty, I had to have him come with me. It only took one day and about 5 times of getting squirted and he pretty much stopped. Over the next 2 days I caught him going for the bite a few times but then we were all done! The squirt bottle was a last ditch effort and I felt absolutely horrible doing it but it did work. Keep in mind, I was in complete agreeance with the parents and we wrote down everything that I was doing and our "plan" and we all signed it.

[Unregistered]

Hi. I have read all these posts and a million others recently as my child has started biting. I am totally appalled by the hatred adults are showing to small children in regard to this issue. We're talking about young children who are not developmentally able to control their behaviors. Furthermore, the poor parents of biters are shamed and made to feel like its their fault that their child bites and there is virtually never an acknowledgment of the circumstances regarding the bite. Of course, it bother me that my child is harming other children. I worry about it all the time. My toddler's behavior is the biggest source of stress in my life at the moment. We've spoken to her doctor and any other expert we can find. They all agree that biting happens and it is typically outgrown. We've tried every method we can find and with no success. She bit the same child about 7 times in a year. She was expelled two weeks ago and we found out when I picked her up and she was scratched and bruised that the child she bites has been pinching, hitting and pushing her repeatedly. According to the staff every biting incident has been provoked, yet my child has to leave and the one beating her up gets to stay.

My point, is simply to say that many biters are provoked and for some reason we elect to dismiss hitting, pinching and kicking as normal kid stuff, but once a child bites even in self-defense parents start talking about them like animals.

BTW, I have 3 other children, all of who were bitten in preschool. I didn't have a fit about it. I know they're in preschool and that it's developmentally normal for kids that age to bite. If she bit at home, I would discipline her for it at home, but only bites at preschool, never at home or church in any other setting.

[saved4always]

Hi. I have read all these posts and a million others recently as my child has started biting. I am totally appalled by the hatred adults are showing to small children in regard to this issue. We're talking about young children who are not developmentally able to control their behaviors. Furthermore, the poor parents of biters are shamed and made to feel like its their fault that their child bites and there is virtually never an acknowledgment of the circumstances regarding the bite. Of course, it bother me that my child is harming other children. I worry about it all the time. My toddler's behavior is the biggest source of stress in my life at the moment. We've spoken to her doctor and any other expert we can find. They all agree that biting happens and it is typically outgrown. We've tried every method we can find and with no success. She bit the same child about 7 times in a year. She was expelled two weeks ago and we found out when I picked her up and she was scratched and bruised that the child she bites has been pinching, hitting and pushing her repeatedly. According to the staff every biting incident has been provoked, yet my child has to leave and the one beating her up gets to stay.

My point, is simply to say that many biters are provoked and for some reason we elect to dismiss hitting, pinching and kicking as normal kid stuff, but once a child bites even in self-defense parents start talking about them like animals.

BTW, I have 3 other children, all of who were bitten in preschool. I didn't have a fit about it. I know they're in preschool and that it's developmentally normal for kids that age to bite. If she bit at home, I would discipline her for it at home, but only bites at preschool, never at home or church in any other setting.

I was fortunate that my own 3 kids did not bite. I have watched a couple of little boys who went through it though. And you are so right. Unfortunately, biting leaves a mark and there is less tolerance for it. I think it is often the way the young child lets another one know to back off.

The latest one who was biting is the youngest of the 3 children I currently watch. I absolutely adore this little guy and have watched him since he was 3 months old. He is 20 months old now and the only other child he has bitten is the 2 1/2 yo little girl. I think he bit her 3 times, hard. I watched very closely after the first time to try to "catch" him doing it so I could intervene. I noticed that he would bite because she would be taking a toy from him and pushing him. The one time, she took a toy from his hand and then held her arm in front of him to keep him away from it and he bit the arm she was pushing him with. I was able to stop him a few times when I saw it coming, but it is not possible to always be able to stop it. When I showed the mother of the little girl the bite, I made sure she knew that she was not an innocent bystander in the biting incident. There was a reason that he was just biting her. And you are right, his parents felt terrible about it and they really worked with him at home on it. He does seem to be over the biting stage now. I am glad that I was never given an ultimatum by the other mother so I was able to work with him to get over it.

I am very sorry that you are going through this with your son. It totally stinks that the biting leaves a mark that the other child's behavior does not. In a perfect world, the other child's parents would understand that their child has a big part in the biting situation and would work with thier child on that to help rectify the situation. Since this is a really imperfect world, that is not always how it is handled. Parents can get a bit hyper about a bite mark. I hope that your son gets over the biting quick so you don't have to feel so stressed.

[nannyde]

Hi. I have read all these posts and a million others recently as my child has started biting. I am totally appalled by the hatred adults are showing to small children in regard to this issue. We're talking about young children who are not developmentally able to control their behaviors. Furthermore, the poor parents of biters are shamed and made to feel like its their fault that their child bites and there is virtually never an acknowledgment of the circumstances regarding the bite. Of course, it bother me that my child is harming other children. I worry about it all the time. My toddler's behavior is the biggest source of stress in my life at the moment. We've spoken to her doctor and any other expert we can find. They all agree that biting happens and it is typically outgrown. We've tried every method we can find and with no success. She bit the same child about 7 times in a year. She was expelled two weeks ago and we found out when I picked her up and she was scratched and bruised that the child she bites has been pinching, hitting and pushing her repeatedly. According to the staff every biting incident has been provoked, yet my child has to leave and the one beating her up gets to stay.

My point, is simply to say that many biters are provoked and for some reason we elect to dismiss hitting, pinching and kicking as normal kid stuff, but once a child bites even in self-defense parents start talking about them like animals.

BTW, I have 3 other children, all of who were bitten in preschool. I didn't have a fit about it. I know they're in preschool and that it's developmentally normal for kids that age to bite. If she bit at home, I would discipline her for it at home, but only bites at preschool, never at home or church in any other setting.

I find this post disturbing on so many levels. I can't believe you allowed your kid to attend a classroom where you KNEW there was another child there she targeted SEVEN times over a course of a year. Did you not think it was important for you to protect the safety and well being of that other child? What were you thinking? The center shouldn't have had to tell you to leave.. you should have done that on your own to protect that poor defenseless little one your daughter kept biting. At what point do you feel responsible because you continued to subject that poor child to your child's biting?

Every "expert" you have consulted are telling you it's "normal" because that's what you want to hear and that's what makes them the most amount of money the fastest or gets you off the phone or out of their office the fastest. If they tell you something is definitely wrong with your kid because she is lashing out with biting then you will STAY to discuss or continue to discuss.

I keep reading posts like yours but I don't have it at all in my child care. I have had one bite in 18.5 years of doing in home care and that bite was 17.5 years ago. I have raised many "normal" children and haven't had biting. I have kids in my care who have been here for three, four, five years and they have never once bitten or been bitten. How do I go year after year.. nearly two decades without seeing it at all and it is normal?

If kids are properly supervised, disciplined, and have excellent care (sleep, nutrition, love, attention, exercise etc.) they don't bite each other. They don't get physical with each other. It can be done. I've done it year after year after year.

Keep telling yourself it's normal and you will keep getting booted out of day cares. Next time, think about the poor child on the receiving end of your child's biting and please don't let it go on for a year. Think about the OTHER kids. Do what you have to do to protect them even if it means keeping your own child home and with you.

[Unregistered]

How much is enough? In 18 mos my son has been bitten 5 times and received a black eye playing with a "friend" at daycare. I know that at least four of these incidents are from the same child. Unfortunately, I know it was the same child. I say that because I see both sides of the issue and feel for the other family. I have been offered to move my son to another room, but won't because he has not done anything wrong.

They want to work with the child and parent to help the child, but I feel the center is letting down both children in doing so. The incidents do not happen back to back so it always seems like we deal with incidents one at a time rather than looking at the big picture of what's happening. The child also shows very aggressive tendencies with other kids in the room. Their teacher ratios are fine and they have tried shadowing.

I am afraid if I move my son to another center I trade one bag of probems for the unknown. On the other hand I could not live with the regret if something worse happened....did I mention one bite was a week before Christmas on my son's face? Why these boys are not separated when the other room is available I don't know. I think the triggers are jealousy and control between the children and shadowing and behavior mod. at home will not help if they are just not meant to be friends!

I am angry that the daycare is making me feel like I am letting him down.

[Greenplasticwateringcans]

I find this post disturbing on so many levels. I can't believe you allowed your kid to attend a classroom where you KNEW there was another child there she targeted SEVEN times over a course of a year. Did you not think it was important for you to protect the safety and well being of that other child? What were you thinking? The center shouldn't have had to tell you to leave.. you should have done that on your own to protect that poor defenseless little one your daughter kept biting. At what point do you feel responsible because you continued to subject that poor child to your child's biting?

Every "expert" you have consulted are telling you it's "normal" because that's what you want to hear and that's what makes them the most amount of money the fastest or gets you off the phone or out of their office the fastest. If they tell you something is definitely wrong with your kid because she is lashing out with biting then you will STAY to discuss or continue to discuss.

I keep reading posts like yours but I don't have it at all in my child care. I have had one bite in 18.5 years of doing in home care and that bite was 17.5 years ago. I have raised many "normal" children and haven't had biting. I have kids in my care who have been here for three, four, five years and they have never once bitten or been bitten. How do I go year after year.. nearly two decades without seeing it at all and it is normal?

If kids are properly supervised, disciplined, and have excellent care (sleep, nutrition, love, attention, exercise etc.) they don't bite each other. They don't get physical with each other. It can be done. I've done it year after year after year.

Keep telling yourself it's normal and you will keep getting booted out of day cares. Next time, think about the poor child on the receiving end of your child's biting and please don't let it go on for a year. Think about the OTHER kids. Do what you have to do to protect them even if it means keeping your own child home and with you.


From reading your posts it sounds like you are in a very strong position to weed out potential problem families. While I'm sure you run an excellent program a lot of credit has to be given to your ability to choose the cream of the crop clients.

[Sugar Magnolia]

"I keep reading posts like yours but I don't have it at all in my child care. I have had one bite in 18.5 years of doing in home care and that bite was 17.5 years ago. I have raised many "normal" children and haven't had biting. I have kids in my care who have been here for three, four, five years and they have never once bitten or been bitten. How do I go year after year.. nearly two decades without seeing it at all and it is normal?

If kids are properly supervised, disciplined, and have excellent care (sleep, nutrition, love, attention, exercise etc.) they don't bite each other. They don't get physical with each other. It can be done. "

I agree with this 100%. Biting happens because of a lack of proper supervision. Period. A provider who is diligent and aware of every childs actions at all times will notice a problem before it escalates to biting. I have a small center with low student to teacher ratios and a bite is extremely rare here, two in 6 years, and never any repeats by the same child. If your child is bit ONCE at a daycare setting, you need to consider they might not be properly supervised. More than once, you need to leave, ASAP.

[Blackcat31]

I agree with this 100%. Biting happens because of a lack of proper supervision. Period. A provider who is diligent and aware of every childs actions at all times will notice a problem before it escalates to biting. I have a small center with low student to teacher ratios and a bite is extremely rare here, two in 6 years, and never any repeats by the same child. If your child is bit ONCE at a daycare setting, you need to consider they might not be properly supervised. More than once, you need to leave, ASAP.

Sugar, I agree with you about proper supervision and being a diligent provider so that biting does not happen. I also think a majority of biting DOES happen due to lack of supervision.

However, I don't think it is fair to say that one bite means the child was improperly supervised.

I have had 1 biting incident in my 20 years of child care and it was an 18 month old DCG who bit an 11 month old DCG while she (the little one) was sitting on my lap! :eek:

The biter had never bitten before and was going in for what I thought was a hug to the little one. She hugged her alot. All of a sudden, little one arches her back away from the older girl and I realize she was bitten....and badly too. :(

It has never happened again here but it did happen once and NOT because of lack of supervision.

[Sugar Magnolia]

You are absolutely right Blackcat. All I meant was one bite should mean a parent should CONSIDER the supervision is not all it can be. I have had two bites, both were lightning fast and not the result of a problem that was allowed to escalate. Bites happen, but should be super rare, like yours are. But I only meant parents should have eyes wide open if it occurs, even once. These posts about multiple bites and it being "normal" are very disturbing. I was absolutely mortified by my biting incidents, I expected the parents to be upset, luckily they were not. I had a child once that came to us because a big box center was non-chalant about multiple bites. I would fully expect a parent to be concerned to the point of withdrawing their child if the were bit more than once, and even expect a grilling over the first one.

[DaisyMamma]

Great thoughts and ideas. What to do if you have a home daycare and your own child is the biter? I cannot expel her and I am watching the kids. It only takes 2 seconds!

[Unregistered]

First of all, I would like to recognize the parents of children who bite. It is such a job (an awesome job) to teach and nurture our children! The issue of biting is definitely a touchy subject for parents, including this one! I am a speech-language pathologists and I work in a pediatric private practice. I have a son who will be two years old in July. He has been the victim of a girl (one month older) in a home day care setting. She began biting him approximately when teething began (9-12 months ago). She is an excellent communicator! She is able to talk in sentences, ask "wh" questions appropriately, great articulation, etc.. Therefore, a "frustration" due to lack of ability to communicate DOES NOT relate to this little one. She is the granddaughter of my sitter (her son is the father). I feel very confident that she is disciplined post biting. However, I have never been confronted or offered an adult apology from the mother and father that I see almost daily. I feel that it is somewhat overlooked by the parents as they cannot even acknowledge the harmful behavior and physical harm their child has inflicted. However, I am also confident that if roles were reversed that this mother would react 100% different. Her child's bites have continuously gotten worse! I feel that I could pretty much make a molar of this child's teeth strictly by the impressions she leaves on my child. My child has never been aggressive even with retaliating and i have made it a point o task the caregiver of such behaviors. I work with several child with autism and I have been bitten, scratched, kicked, pinched, punched, etc... HOWEVER, I know that these little ones are truly frustrated with their difficulty in communicating with others! I understand that biting is a common and complicated issue but sometimes parents need to take responsibility (even if that just means acknowledging the situation). I almost get the feeling that parents of biters play a victim role. The victims are the children at the other end of your child's teeth forcefully clinching to their frail, precious skin! Some parents need a role reversal and imaging their child as the "bitee". What if they picked up there little one and to continuously see bite marks in their precious baby's skin??? We leave our babies with those that we trust and among any one else our babies trust their parents!! It saddens me to know that mine has to "accept" that he will go to a place (because his mommy takes him there and so it must be safe) and to "accept " to be physically harmed because.... EXCUSE, EXCUSE, EXCUSE!!!!!!!!! At a nursing home when patients with dementia become combative their are often medicated, closely monitored, and/or discharged to a hospital. It the best case they are referred to rehab to assist in appropriately controlling behaviors. It is known that individuals with dementia "age backwards". That is like an 80 YO acting as a 2 YO. Most of of would not be okay if our 80 YO mother was consistently bitten by her 80 YO roommate in any facility!

[Meyou]

First of all, I would like to recognize the parents of children who bite. It is such a job (an awesome job) to teach and nurture our children! The issue of biting is definitely a touchy subject for parents, including this one! I am a speech-language pathologists and I work in a pediatric private practice. I have a son who will be two years old in July. He has been the victim of a girl (one month older) in a home day care setting. She began biting him approximately when teething began (9-12 months ago). She is an excellent communicator! She is able to talk in sentences, ask "wh" questions appropriately, great articulation, etc.. Therefore, a "frustration" due to lack of ability to communicate DOES NOT relate to this little one. She is the granddaughter of my sitter (her son is the father). I feel very confident that she is disciplined post biting. However, I have never been confronted or offered an adult apology from the mother and father that I see almost daily. I feel that it is somewhat overlooked by the parents as they cannot even acknowledge the harmful behavior and physical harm their child has inflicted. However, I am also confident that if roles were reversed that this mother would react 100% different. Her child's bites have continuously gotten worse! I feel that I could pretty much make a molar of this child's teeth strictly by the impressions she leaves on my child. My child has never been aggressive even with retaliating and i have made it a point o task the caregiver of such behaviors. I work with several child with autism and I have been bitten, scratched, kicked, pinched, punched, etc... HOWEVER, I know that these little ones are truly frustrated with their difficulty in communicating with others! I understand that biting is a common and complicated issue but sometimes parents need to take responsibility (even if that just means acknowledging the situation). I almost get the feeling that parents of biters play a victim role. The victims are the children at the other end of your child's teeth forcefully clinching to their frail, precious skin! Some parents need a role reversal and imaging their child as the "bitee". What if they picked up there little one and to continuously see bite marks in their precious baby's skin??? We leave our babies with those that we trust and among any one else our babies trust their parents!! It saddens me to know that mine has to "accept" that he will go to a place (because his mommy takes him there and so it must be safe) and to "accept " to be physically harmed because.... EXCUSE, EXCUSE, EXCUSE!!!!!!!!! At a nursing home when patients with dementia become combative their are often medicated, closely monitored, and/or discharged to a hospital. It the best case they are referred to rehab to assist in appropriately controlling behaviors. It is known that individuals with dementia "age backwards". That is like an 80 YO acting as a 2 YO. Most of of would not be okay if our 80 YO mother was consistently bitten by her 80 YO roommate in any facility!

I would find a new place for your child. Honestly, I would have moved my child long before now. That little girl is not being properly supervised. She shouldn't have access to your son to bite him that much. Your babysitter is not doing their job if your son is still being bitten at all. Her concern is her granddaughter and that isn't going to change IMO.

[saved4always]

First of all, I would like to recognize the parents of children who bite. It is such a job (an awesome job) to teach and nurture our children! The issue of biting is definitely a touchy subject for parents, including this one! I am a speech-language pathologists and I work in a pediatric private practice. I have a son who will be two years old in July. He has been the victim of a girl (one month older) in a home day care setting. She began biting him approximately when teething began (9-12 months ago). She is an excellent communicator! She is able to talk in sentences, ask "wh" questions appropriately, great articulation, etc.. Therefore, a "frustration" due to lack of ability to communicate DOES NOT relate to this little one. She is the granddaughter of my sitter (her son is the father). I feel very confident that she is disciplined post biting. However, I have never been confronted or offered an adult apology from the mother and father that I see almost daily. I feel that it is somewhat overlooked by the parents as they cannot even acknowledge the harmful behavior and physical harm their child has inflicted. However, I am also confident that if roles were reversed that this mother would react 100% different. Her child's bites have continuously gotten worse! I feel that I could pretty much make a molar of this child's teeth strictly by the impressions she leaves on my child. My child has never been aggressive even with retaliating and i have made it a point o task the caregiver of such behaviors. I work with several child with autism and I have been bitten, scratched, kicked, pinched, punched, etc... HOWEVER, I know that these little ones are truly frustrated with their difficulty in communicating with others! I understand that biting is a common and complicated issue but sometimes parents need to take responsibility (even if that just means acknowledging the situation). I almost get the feeling that parents of biters play a victim role. The victims are the children at the other end of your child's teeth forcefully clinching to their frail, precious skin! Some parents need a role reversal and imaging their child as the "bitee". What if they picked up there little one and to continuously see bite marks in their precious baby's skin??? We leave our babies with those that we trust and among any one else our babies trust their parents!! It saddens me to know that mine has to "accept" that he will go to a place (because his mommy takes him there and so it must be safe) and to "accept " to be physically harmed because.... EXCUSE, EXCUSE, EXCUSE!!!!!!!!! At a nursing home when patients with dementia become combative their are often medicated, closely monitored, and/or discharged to a hospital. It the best case they are referred to rehab to assist in appropriately controlling behaviors. It is known that individuals with dementia "age backwards". That is like an 80 YO acting as a 2 YO. Most of of would not be okay if our 80 YO mother was consistently bitten by her 80 YO roommate in any facility!

I am sorry your little one is going through this. I have had a couple biters in my home childcare and both times, the parents (2 different families) were very concerned about the biting and worked on it at home. Both families of the biters felt very badly about thier child biting and apologized (in person or through me if they had different drop off/pick up times...parents knew who the biter was because the bitten child could say the name, plus I only watched 4 kids). I feel that the parents taking it very seriously and expressing thier sorrow to the parents of the bitten child went a long way in helping everyone get through the situation. The biting stage was short-lived for both of these children, thank goodness. I feel a combination of time outs when biting occurred, shadowing to catch the biting situations before they happened and the parents of the biter reinforcing no biting at home all helped it to stop quickly.

[saved4always]

I would find a new place for your child. Honestly, I would have moved my child long before now. That little girl is not being properly supervised. She shouldn't have access to your son to bite him that much. Your babysitter is not doing their job if your son is still being bitten at all. Her concern is her granddaughter and that isn't going to change IMO.

I agree with this, too. If you feel the parents and your provider are not addressing the biting and it is going on like this, it is time to look for a new provider. It doesn't sound to me like your provider is doing everything she could to stop the biting.

[DevorahNA]

I have been on both sides of the above situation. I have taught several children who I would call habitual biters and my daughter was bitten many times at daycare.

As the teacher of the biting child, I sat down with parents and the school administrators and mapped out a plan to figure out why the bitting was occurring and ideas of what I could do and what the parent could do at home. I think that generally if the ratios of child:teacher are ok, than the biting can be stopped. but you really have to make a plan and follow through, and adjust if necessary.

As I mentioned my daughter was bitten many times at daycare. unfortunately, I was not aware of the problem until that last 2 weeks of school. I knew that a child in her class bit, and I knew she was bitten a few times. But it was only when I witness her being bitten for no reason that that I made a fuss about it to the director. Then the teachers actually documented how many bites were happening per day. Well it turns out it was multiple times per HOUR. Frankly, I was enraged that my child was being bitten so many times and no one cared to tell me!!! I cannot believe that no on cared to try to stop it. Nobody met the parents or made plans. Frankly, its not developmentally normal behavior to be biting like this! It is a child like this that needs to be expelled. Not because he cannot be worked with, but because the school doesn't take the time to figure out what the child needs to stop biting. YOu have to protect the other children! i am very angry that my baby was in a hostile environment so long. I was understanding when when I thought it was a few times in an entire year, not when I learned it was a few times a week!

[Unregistered]

My son is 2 and we had just recently placed him in this daycare and right off the bat we started having trouble with the daycare they were complaining about him peeing to much so i brought him to the dr he has no bladder infection the next thing was they wanted to use diapers when i had him in underwear and askd them to please work with me because he is doing so great at home and they would constantly send him home in diapers or other kids clothes and I would ask wheres his clothes they would say oh hes out! That next week I brought a bag of extra clothes with his name on the bag and clothes and that afternoon he was ina diaper! I asked again did he run out she said yes I asked where his clothes were I brought today she said she never recieved them?! They were horrible communicators did not care my problems seemed so small to them. They never communicated with me at all!! I got a call one day stating he was bit in the face and when I got there I asked by who it was the owners daughter who had done it and he has a scar on his face to this very day! I was informed face biting is immediate suspension by a friend?? 3 weeks later he was bit again on his belly by a little boy who also bruised him! I asked the teacher what my son was doing to cause them she said he didnt do anything so I wasnt going to do anything about it to him because it was clearly not my son. Last thing is I got a recipept saying im 3 weeks behind on payment hes suspended if not paid by friday ?!?! I have seriously been paying weekly with cash and I unfortanatley never kept my recipts:( SO it was there word against mine..... I called the owner and told her he wouldnt return because i didnt have 330 to give them right then! she told me i had 10 business days or she would turn it into collections I said okay il see you next week to pay, then I said I was upset she didnt let me know weeks ago that i was behind! she then replied with excuse me thats not my problem you need to take care of your own bills?!?!?! I was shocked she turned that rude on me i then replied with your the OWNER and your telling me that tuition is not your problem why would you even let a parent continue 3 weeks w/o pay?! I told her id be buy the next day to get his clothes and diapers,....she told me "Oh no il lock that in my office you cant get his stuff until i get my money!" I responded with thats my sons personal belongings im not even sure if that legal! she said back if you wanna be rude il add another 110 to your fee! so i told her if i pay for another week he will return and finish the week and she said hes not allowed on her probperty that if he comes she will call the cops on him?!!!! I was in total shock that this lady ive trusted my kid with for 5 months would talkto me like this I really was in shock! So I said okay il get a lawyer and come get his stuff we went back n forth with other stuff said I just need to know is any of that acceptable? I was not rude I told her (even though i know ive paid) id see her next week to pay and only told her i was upset she didnt let me know way earlier my payments were behind that throwing a 330.00 fee on me in one day was financially hard for me! She got immediatly ticked after I told her that.... I think tuition is her responsibility as well as mine! 3 weeks really?!

[STC]

I am very surprised only one person has addressed the issue of health/saftey, and not in any depth. Whatever the stage, pyschological angle, or developmental issues are on either side, it's a "so what ?". Once a child has been bitten and it breaks the skin, it enters the bitten child's bloodstream--whatever bacteria is in the mouth has a DIRECT entry to a child's bloodstream and can cause many health problems, including death-- no to be dramatic-- just factual. You don't care how unlikely that is if it happens YOUR child. This cannot be taken lightly and discussed as if it is a problem to be solved by either parent or daycare providers--while either casting blame on each other or working over time to correct the issue. All intelligent and reasonable people will agree and work for a solution in the best interest of BOTH the biter and the bittees--with the first concern , the physical health of the child wno is bitten. All the blame stuff is juvenile--where are the adults?
There, of course, should be caring for the biter--these are just children--who have no idea what harm they are inflicting. There are many great suggestions for stopping this behavior--in the meantime the other children need to be 100% protected-- not 80-90%. There also is not just one way to do that--each situation needs to be evaluated and decided on the basis of their structure and avenues of choices as a team--parents and providers.

[littlestarday]

I am very concerned about a situation at a licensed daycare center. What is the policy on handling a child who is biting other children multiple times daily? The child I am concerned about has been bitten multiple times daily, breaking the skin and bruising on 9 days in a short period of time by the same child. He is not the only child @ the day care who is being bitten. Also, the aggressive child who does the biting is also kicking other children. When I talked to the staff they said there was nothing they could do. I believe this is a staffing issue. It has become such an issue that I have filed a report with Department of Social Services. What information can you give me? Where do I find this information?

It's very difficult to stop biting behavior. We understand that parents are going to be upset that their children are being bitten, but biting is normal toddler behavior and daycare centers do their best to prevent it, but sometimes it just doesn't work. Becoming angry with the daycare teachers will not help the situation, they don't want to see your child being hurt either, and it can become very frustrating when there are multiple biters in a room. I'm not saying that parents don't have a right to be upset but they should also try to understand how the teachers and the parents of the biters feel about the situation. Parents are sometimes embarrassed that their children do bite. Children don't bite because they have bad parents, they bite because they're trying to express emotions that they cannot yet put into words. What we try to do is: 1. Prevent bites before they happen by watching the biter and removing them when you see them try to bite. 2. Tell the child "no thank you, we don't bite" or a similar phrase. 3. Remove the child from the situation by redirecting them to another play area or engage them in an activity 4. Prevent bites before they happen by keeping the child interested in play (introduce different toys and begin new activites when you see the child becoming bored) These suggestions don't work for all children. We have some children who don't respond to anything and continue to bite, and the best thing that we can do is try to protect the other children and be consistent with our methods.

[Unregistered]

My son is the biter. I am sorry for all the kids that have gotten bitten. I received a text over the weekend with no warning stating not only him but my other two children were not allowed back due to the biting. First off I should tell you that he is hearing impaired and has to wear a hearing aid. He also has speech twice a week with a sign teacher. So needless to say he doesn't have the words to say let alone the signs foe biting. It has gotten worse this past month because his hearing aids are in the shop. So he literally can't hear you. What am I to do? It is normal for a normal kid to bite but mine is deaf. So you are punishing him and his two siblings for something he doesn't even understand. Oh and he is only 18 months and his speech is the equalivalent of a 9 month old.

[Hunni Bee]

My son is the biter. I am sorry for all the kids that have gotten bitten. I received a text over the weekend with no warning stating not only him but my other two children were not allowed back due to the biting. First off I should tell you that he is hearing impaired and has to wear a hearing aid. He also has speech twice a week with a sign teacher. So needless to say he doesn't have the words to say let alone the signs foe biting. It has gotten worse this past month because his hearing aids are in the shop. So he literally can't hear you. What am I to do? It is normal for a normal kid to bite but mine is deaf. So you are punishing him and his two siblings for something he doesn't even understand. Oh and he is only 18 months and his speech is the equalivalent of a 9 month old.

While this information definitely shouldn't have been sent by text, the daycare isn't "punishing" your children by terming them. They are protecting the other children who your son is biting and allowing you find another setting that may be better suited to your son's needs.

What most likely happened (and why you didn't get any warning) is other parents told her that either your son goes or their child goes. As you said, your son's biting has escalated recently because his hearing aids are being repaired. Your provider had to make a rushed decision, and to be honest, it doesn't make sense to keep the family that may drive future business away as well.

It all comes down to the fact that biting isn't something that's acceptable in daycare, no matter the circumstances. And just as you feel strongly to protect your children, other parents feel the same. I wish you luck in finding a better program for your son and other children.

[Unregistered]

I am very concerned about a situation at a licensed daycare center. What is the policy on handling a child who is biting other children multiple times daily? The child I am concerned about has been bitten multiple times daily, breaking the skin and bruising on 9 days in a short period of time by the same child. He is not the only child @ the day care who is being bitten. Also, the aggressive child who does the biting is also kicking other children. When I talked to the staff they said there was nothing they could do. I believe this is a staffing issue. It has become such an issue that I have filed a report with Department of Social Services. What information can you give me? Where do I find this information?

It's not fair to blame the daycare. #1 that is a psychological problem. Unless the staff have a degree in psychology is sometimes hard to change that behavior in a child and you have to understand that takes time too. instead of contacting the department of social service you should approach the daycare and try to see if they could talk to the kid parent to take him to a psychologist. They know how to help. Sometimes not even parents cant help the child. You are lucky cuz yours don't bite but that is very common in children at a early development stage. Instead of being complaining you need to understand that not all children are the same.

[itlw8]

It's not fair to blame the daycare. #1 that is a psychological problem. Unless the staff have a degree in psychology is sometimes hard to change that behavior in a child and you have to understand that takes time too. instead of contacting the department of social service you should approach the daycare and try to see if they could talk to the kid parent to take him to a psychologist. They know how to help. Sometimes not even parents cant help the child. You are lucky cuz yours don't bite but that is very common in children at a early development stage. Instead of being complaining you need to understand that not all children are the same.

While it is a normal develpmental stage taking an 18 month to a psychologist would serve no purpose.

And yes unfortunately once a child has bitten 1 time they are a known hazard and if a parent reports it the center is at fault. Why because they knew the child might bite again.

I was reported 1x because a child was bit. first time ever he was bit and 1x the biter had bitten. I was less than 5 feet away and the room was not crowded. The state said I did nothing wrong except I should have called the parent immediately and not waited for the parent to come 30 minutes later to pick up..... funny the parent thought they would bring the child back. The state could not believe she thought I would take them back

[Unregistered]

same exact thing happened to us. they told us the same things. could not even tell us which child bit our child.


It's illegal to tell parents who is the biter. Just so you know. But the children could be sent home after 3 bites in one day. They could have incident reports put in their file for each one and when they hit 10 in one month have a conference. If it happens 10 times a second month they're expelled. Most schools would rather loose one aggressive kid then 5 kids whose parents got fed up with nothing being done about that child.

[sandrapitt]

Children are just not allowed to bite and hurt other kids. A teacher should always be around this kid who behaves like this. It is also important that the parents of this child is informed and told to do something about it. Parents need to check if his biting is occasional and normal or just too aggressive. As child care centers, the center is responsible for the safety of the other kids. It is necessary that they stop this childs behavior and keep a check on him always.

[Unregistered]

We have a meeting today with my 2yr old son's daycare. He has been bitten several times and so have other children. There are two biters in the room of 6. While I am completely aware that anytime there is a group of toddlers together like that there will be some biting and some pushing etc. It is always difficult to determine if my being so upset is because I am a mother and my son was bitten or if in fact there is a problem that I the school should address or I will need to look elsewhere for childcare/preschool? Any thoughts. One of the biters has actually been biting since the infant room. Since moving to the two year old room teh end of Aug my son has been bitten 4 times prior to moving to that room in a year he had been bitten another four times. How much is too much? Any thoughts?

[Cat Herder]

We have a meeting today with my 2yr old son's daycare. He has been bitten several times and so have other children. There are two biters in the room of 6. While I am completely aware that anytime there is a group of toddlers together like that there will be some biting and some pushing etc. It is always difficult to determine if my being so upset is because I am a mother and my son was bitten or if in fact there is a problem that I the school should address or I will need to look elsewhere for childcare/preschool? Any thoughts. One of the biters has actually been biting since the infant room. Since moving to the two year old room teh end of Aug my son has been bitten 4 times prior to moving to that room in a year he had been bitten another four times. How much is too much? Any thoughts?

Honestly, I'd have moved on. :o

IMHO, Something is keeping these kids really stressed out (too much/lack of space, too many/not enough toys, lack of Variety in toys, too much/too little stimulation, too much/too little free play, etc).

I have never seen biting like that in my program. :(

[MarinaVanessa]

I must agree with Cathearder. Especially if there is a child who chronically bites as you stated (has been biting since the infant room) then to me this would mean that the issue is not being taken care of.

The issue of biting is difficult because it's a natural and frankly quite usual thing for young children to do ... this does not mean however that it is ok to do especially in childcare. If your child has been bitten repeatedly and no improvements have been made to correct the issue either from parents or daycare then perhaps it's time to look for childcare elsewhere.

[Unregistered]

I have a biter...and while I know this isn't acceptable and it's not okay to harm other children, there is a reason for it. I get frustrated when other parents don't understand the cause and think my child is just a bully or his home life is unsable...he is not a bully and his home life is actually quite normal, and he is actually very sweet. Unfortunately he has a hearing loss and is unable to speak the way a normal 2 almost 3 year old should. He can understand fully what's going on around him and he cannot express what he needs to, when he needs to. When he gets frustrated, anxious, or provoked and feels he needs to defend himself, he expresses that through biting. I don't have rose colored glasses on and think my child is an angel, in fact I know all children are capable of behaviors. If your child is the one getting biten more frequently by a biter, you might want to ask yourself, what is my child doing to provoke this child or better yet ask yourself how you can be part of the solution and not the problem by assuming a biter is a "bad" child.

[Unregistered]

I understand that children bite, and I am sympathetic to the parents of children who bite. But if the child repeatedly bites other children, breaking the skin and causing bruising, the child needs to be removed from daycare until such time as s/he works through that behavior. I'm not saying s/he is a bad kid, or that the parents are doing anything wrong. But at the same time other children are being hurt, and that cannot just be glossed over.

[Holiday Park]

To the pp who said her child has hearing loss, there a couple things to do . Teach him bon verbal communication skills like sign language , and pick a childcare facility who will support that.

I teach all my babies signs so they can "talk" about their needs/wants and have it be known. When my son gets upset because he is having a toy taken away he will look at me or the other child and point. If he wants to nurse, he signs milk. He is 14 months old and has been asking to be taken to the potty by way of signing and he is a hearing child . He also says some words too. But y point is , it Is known why kids bite and thats ehy its important to be proactive in prevention and tackling it at hand when it happens. Like others have said, if it can't be resolved then they can't stay in that particular environment and it is what it is, so the parent should try not to get all butthurt over it. Thats my opinion of course ;-)

[Unregistered]

5 times is too many times to bite someone else's child. He should be put out and you should your discipline!

I apologize to all of the victims of bites, but please do not think that the parents of the biter are not good parents. I am saddened that my child hurts others when threatened or when he wants his way and we did not teach him this behavior. He is disciplined at school with time outs and we also discipline at home when he bites at school. My son does not just go around biting children; he bites in times of conflict with another child. We are working with him to use his words and talk to the daycare workers when conflicts occur, but we must also remember that it is harder for some children to master self-control and using words in times of frustration. I know that parents of the biter feel terrible about it and we are parents just like you wanting our children to learn appropriate ways of playing with other children. I work and so does my husband, my child should not be kicked out of daycare. We should instead work together with constant reminders and praise of positive behaviors, time-outs when biting occurs and increased supervision during times of close free play with other children. Especially if it particularly one child who is being bitten. My child has not bitten as much as some of the stories you have mentioned, just having some difficulty with one child in particular during playtime and it has happened 5 times in the past month. Praying for all children and their parents the bitees and the biters.

[MamaG]

-----------------------------------------------------------

So an update to my 23 month old daughter who had bites... so we are now looking at 4 bites in 8 weeks... and just on Friday, this bite was on the FACE. No bite is ever easy to take when you see marks on your child... but on the face.... it was just shocking and horribly upsetting.

It is not their policy to say who the biter is... but my daughter did say a name... and basically it was confirmed from the conversation I had this morning. This boy is always all over my daughter. When I picked her up one day, I saw him tackler her... I believe he has bit her at least once before... I saw a incident report taped to his cubby the same day she had hers from being bit. I am thinking I need a parent-teacher conference. For daycare professionals out there... is there something that can be done if you have the same culprit biting a certain child? Is it time to move on to a new school?

For the previous incidents that went "unnoticed"... basically they said they never saw her cry... didn't notice anything out of the ordinary... seems unbelievable when you have a bite hard enough to break the skin... they apologized but said they didn't see it. This one on the face though.... everyone could see that... clear individual teeth marks on her cheekbone right below her eye.

If a child bites or otherwise inflicts harm in an act of anger they get three strikes you're out, as in terminated. As a mother I would not care about 'oh he is just frustraighted and we are working on it' blah blah crap! As a provider I've had this issue pop up more then once. I tell parents the 3 strikes rule and the offender is reprimanded and punished! Severely. It is outlines in detail in my policies and in the note that get sent home.

[MamaG]

It's illegal to tell parents who is the biter. Just so you know. But the children could be sent home after 3 bites in one day. They could have incident reports put in their file for each one and when they hit 10 in one month have a conference. If it happens 10 times a second month they're expelled. Most schools would rather loose one aggressive kid then 5 kids whose parents got fed up with nothing being done about that child.

I'd find new child care after the 2nd bite! And at my 'center' after the 3rd bite offender gets terminated. But after 1 bite the biter gets glued to my hip, so a 2nd bite has never happened. When they see dang a bite I become miss teachers new shadow. He doesn't get to play with what or where or who he wants too. Pretty much sucks.

[Unregistered]

I am very concerned about a situation at a licensed daycare center. What is the policy on handling a child who is biting other children multiple times daily? The child I am concerned about has been bitten multiple times daily, breaking the skin and bruising on 9 days in a short period of time by the same child. He is not the only child @ the day care who is being bitten. Also, the aggressive child who does the biting is also kicking other children. When I talked to the staff they said there was nothing they could do. I believe this is a staffing issue. It has become such an issue that I have filed a report with Department of Social Services. What information can you give me? Where do I find this information?

You should have asked or read about information first before filing a report. uncool.

[Unregistered]

Today I received an incident note from my sons day care that he bit another child n has attempted or bitten other kids this week ... It's only Tuesday which would mean he did it for two days so far. tomorrow I'm going in extra early to have a discussion with the teacher I have so many questions n things we can try to do to solve the situation. I'm sad to think that any parent would think that a biters parent is a bad parent or that my son is some homicidal freak at 17 months old. He had a problem with this behavior at home a month ago when ever he was excited or wanted to show affection he would bite so I would tell him firmly no bit, and then say gentle gentle while caressing his face and the behavior improved 110% now I find out he is starting at school I feel horrible for any child he bit I'm absolutely horrified and embarrassed by his behavior but I've been researching ways to help solve this issue. this is most definitely a parent / daycare issue both must work together and be consistent n understanding of what the instigators are. My son is a sweet loving n highly intelligent child n has always played well with others so I'm still in shock. I'm wondering if perhaps he is bored...his teacher has told me on many occasions that he is way ahead of the other children n is the most mature though he is not the oldest perhaps he needs more mental stimulation ...guess I will find out tomorrow at any rate please know that this mother of a biter isn't standing idly by but being proactive as I hope his daycare will be as well. Best of luck to everyone in whatever ur situation is and please remember these are still babies n they take all their cues from us so if they are misbehaving we the adults (parents&caregivers) need to take a look in the mirror n make changes!

[daycarediva]

Today I received an incident note from my sons day care that he bit another child n has attempted or bitten other kids this week ... It's only Tuesday which would mean he did it for two days so far. tomorrow I'm going in extra early to have a discussion with the teacher I have so many questions n things we can try to do to solve the situation. I'm sad to think that any parent would think that a biters parent is a bad parent or that my son is some homicidal freak at 17 months old. He had a problem with this behavior at home a month ago when ever he was excited or wanted to show affection he would bite so I would tell him firmly no bit, and then say gentle gentle while caressing his face and the behavior improved 110% now I find out he is starting at school I feel horrible for any child he bit I'm absolutely horrified and embarrassed by his behavior but I've been researching ways to help solve this issue. this is most definitely a parent / daycare issue both must work together and be consistent n understanding of what the instigators are. My son is a sweet loving n highly intelligent child n has always played well with others so I'm still in shock. I'm wondering if perhaps he is bored...his teacher has told me on many occasions that he is way ahead of the other children n is the most mature though he is not the oldest perhaps he needs more mental stimulation ...guess I will find out tomorrow at any rate please know that this mother of a biter isn't standing idly by but being proactive as I hope his daycare will be as well. Best of luck to everyone in whatever ur situation is and please remember these are still babies n they take all their cues from us so if they are misbehaving we the adults (parents&caregivers) need to take a look in the mirror n make changes!

He could be biting because he is excited, he could be biting because he is frustrated, there are so many reasons that it's sometimes hard to determine a cause.

As a provider, I don't think parents of biters are bad. ;)

I would ask that they watch for a pattern. Is it a certain child that he is biting? What instigates it? Who was near when it happened/saw it? Can someone make him their shadow for the day-week until behavior is gone? Is the reaction/response from his teacher the same as at home?

I have a dcb who bit at 18-24 months. It was always one other child and ALWAYS after lunch/before nap. Dcb was obviously getting cranky and wasn't willing to deal with 'in your face' dcb anymore and was frustrated. We started a bite/attempted bite 'log'. Every incident was documented to discover this pattern and after that it was easy to solve, separate dcb's, keep biting dcb near me. Sometimes it is more severe/complex and not so simple.

Great for you for being proactive and helping your daycare to solve this problem.

[Unregistered]

What if your child was the biter would you still have the same opinion?

[Unregistered]

I found this thread while searching for a solution for a biting problem in my childcare center. I am the director and I know that biting is common. More times than not, we find a solution: an extra snack, an extra nap, shadowing. This time it has continued longer than most. Anyone within reach at any time of day is the target for this 17-month old. Some would then say that the solution is easy; keep everyone out of reach. However, anyone working in the child care field knows that this is not practical in a center setting. I know that the parents of the biter are frustrated and embarrassed. It's not easy to pick up your child and be told once again that he bit. The parents of those bitten are also upset that their child has been subjected to being bit again and again. The staff does not like having to give the news to either set of parents and even they feel somewhat responsible that this has happened during their watch. No matter how closely a child is watched, it takes a mere split-second for a bite to occur. To not allow the child to interact with other children defeats the entire purpose of a childcare center where the goal is teach children social skills. I'm not certain that I have the right answer, but we are asking the parents of the biter to take a 2-week break from our center and then we can all try again.

[Unregistered]

My son, 3 years old, is biting only in daycare, sometimes without any reason, sometimes out of frustration. The size of the class is large, and the staff turnover is also high. They were not able to come with strategies, so we were the ones doing the research and suggested to have him accommodated in one of the smaller size class, or provide him o toy that he can bite, prevention, and more.
However, they rejected all our suggestions and they only talk to him. The daycare do not really provide the context of the incidents. The biting is not frequent but is happening occasionally for 6 months now. We do a lot of talk and remove privileges the day he is biting, he is also reminded periodically what are the consequences in case of a biting.
I consider moving him to another daycare where he is not attached to any child, or staff, but I only fear that he is going to bite in the new setting too.
Any experiences of someone moving the child in another daycare?

[1st time]

My son started going to daycare at 16 months. The folks at the center suggested he start in the 18 - 36 m room because he was tall for his age. This week he turned 19m. He is still the youngest in his room. This week a new "friend" joined the class and bit my son on the nose. We were provided an incident report with details of the situation. The next morning, he bit my son above the eye, just after I dropped him off. That's 2 bites to the face in maybe 3 hours of DC time. IF the DC staff can't find a way to separate that child from mine, I'm gonna find a way to trash that DC in the local media.

[Blackcat31]

My son started going to daycare at 16 months. The folks at the center suggested he start in the 18 - 36 m room because he was tall for his age. This week he turned 19m. He is still the youngest in his room. This week a new "friend" joined the class and bit my son on the nose. We were provided an incident report with details of the situation. The next morning, he bit my son above the eye, just after I dropped him off. That's 2 bites to the face in maybe 3 hours of DC time. IF the DC staff can't find a way to separate that child from mine, I'm gonna find a way to trash that DC in the local media.

I felt sorry for you until I read that last line.

I completely understand your frustrations and I too, would be livid if my child was bit more than once by the same child but I am pretty sure there are other more adult and more mature ways to deal with this situation.

You could try talking to the director of the center and see what the center's policy is for repeated biting situations and you could also file a report or complaint against the center for failure to protect your child from danger or injury.

Trashing the child care center to the local media makes YOU look just as bad. :(

[NeedaVaca]

I felt sorry for you until I read that last line.

I completely understand your frustrations and I too, would be livid if my child was bit more than once by the same child but I am pretty sure there are other more adult and more mature ways to deal with this situation.

You could try talking to the director of the center and see what the center's policy is for repeated biting situations and you could also file a report or complaint against the center for failure to protect your child from danger or injury.

Trashing the child care center to the local media makes YOU look just as bad. :(

likethis

[Unregistered]

I am a distraught grandmother.
My 9 month old granddaughter spent the night in the hospital as the result of the many bites from a 20 month old child. This child held the baby down and bit her too many times to count, all over the face, head, arms and stomach. The bruising on her nose, ears and cheeks was horrifying.
The caregiver said she left the two on the floor, playing alone together, for no more than five minutes but I cannot imagine how so much damage was done in so short a time, nor how she could not have heard the baby screaming.
My heart is hurting so badly -- what in the WORLD?!?
Has anyone ever heard of such a thing? I know it is totally normal for children to bite but this is outrageous. The biter's parents were called and they immediately came to get the child, but such aggressive behavior is scary to me. There must be something wrong here that is out of the ordinary.
This is an in-home caregiver, who has been with the family for years and suddenly got an influx of younger siblings. I think it is more than she can handle. I don't think the baby or 3 year old brother will be going back there.
This is so distressing.

[MyAngels]

I am a distraught grandmother.
My 9 month old granddaughter spent the night in the hospital as the result of the many bites from a 20 month old child. This child held the baby down and bit her too many times to count, all over the face, head, arms and stomach. The bruising on her nose, ears and cheeks was horrifying.
The caregiver said she left the two on the floor, playing alone together, for no more than five minutes but I cannot imagine how so much damage was done in so short a time, nor how she could not have heard the baby screaming.
My heart is hurting so badly -- what in the WORLD?!?
Has anyone ever heard of such a thing? I know it is totally normal for children to bite but this is outrageous. The biter's parents were called and they immediately came to get the child, but such aggressive behavior is scary to me. There must be something wrong here that is out of the ordinary.
This is an in-home caregiver, who has been with the family for years and suddenly got an influx of younger siblings. I think it is more than she can handle. I don't think the baby or 3 year old brother will be going back there.
This is so distressing.

No way in the world should children that age be left alone, let alone together, for any length of time - not one minute, let alone 5. I'm not a big one to advise reporting to licensing, but in this case I would be reporting this provider. I would advise the baby's parents to remove their child from this caregiver immediately.

I hope your grandbaby is going to be okay.

[Cradle2crayons]

No way in the world should children that age be left alone, let alone together, for any length of time - not one minute, let alone 5. I'm not a big one to advise reporting to licensing, but in this case I would be reporting this provider. I would advise the baby's parents to remove their child from this caregiver immediately.

I hope your grandbaby is going to be okay.

I second this. Pull immediately and report to licensing. And since this injury required medical intervention, I'd ask her to file it on her insurance as well.

Grandma I'm so sorry this happened. I hope your grand baby is okay and y'all find anger provider. I hope the little one doesn't have too much trauma from this.