View Full Version : Hating the job
02-15-2009, 12:49 PM
I have tried and tried to enjoy this job, I just don't. I feel that I have to babysit, I have no choice, I need the money and cannot work outside the home right now. I just dread it, I feel so confined and caged in. I resent the fact that I cannot ever leave my home until 5pm, then I can't since that is supper time, and taking care of the family. How do you all do it? Will I ever get used to it? It has been 7 months, my own 2 year old is driving me crazy, the 2 boys I watch have no discipline at home, so they never listen and I spend the entire day telling them no and breaking up fights, screaming and arguing. I guess I am just depressed and wishing that I could run away!
02-16-2009, 09:09 AM
Hi there. I'm sorry you are unhappy. I think there are highs and lows in this business. My sister also used to do daycare, and she was very good at it, very good with kids. However, she said looking back, she dredded it and would never do it again no matter what. I've found out that my former daycare provider of several years (who kind of was like family, always very personable, wanting me to come in and sit down and talk about life, etc.) in another state also hated doing daycare (during the time when my kids were there) and used to hit them hard all of the time, but they were told never to tell me or they would get in trouble. They are now 16 and 11 and they just told me about this a few months ago. So, I tend to believe that there are a lot of care providers in this business that dont really like doing it, but have no other choice. With the economy being what it is, it's becoming harder to fill spots and harder to actually get paid. I hope there are not a bunch of providers that actually do what my old daycare provider did, taking her anger out on the kids, but she was really good at it, apparently because I never knew.
I have found that typically, parents dont work with me to fix problems with their kids. I still watch sick kids all of the time, parents wont even call me back when their kids are sick and they need to be picked up. I have to deal with that one again, today. Lots of other things, too so I can relate in a way. And it does wear on my nerves a lot too but moreso because parents are irresponsible, the kids dont know any different.
If you cannot work outside of the home, try some of the legitimate companies that you can work from home for. A couple of my friends do that, and they set their own schedule. Obviously, you have a computer and I assume you have a telephone. One of the people that I know that work for a local company (Nebraska based "Connections") makes $9.50 per hour, incoming calls only, no selling. Maybe your state also has a company such as this?
Other companies (national) include companies like Alpine Access and Convergys. You could google them up and see if they are hiring. Then, put your own child in daycare if you want (my sister did that even when she was doing daycare, and it helped her tremendously because she said her son was her biggest stressor) and it will just be you and your job. If you want some "you time" which is rare when in this business, you might be able to make your hours of availability something like 9 a.m. - 3 p.m. so you have time to do things you like to do. Then, the money you make will be yours and 1/2 wont go back into buying things for the daycare. You may find that you'll actually make more money and it will be a good thing all around!
Good luck to you. I hope it gets better!
02-16-2009, 07:50 PM
Dear Mrs. Meg,
I am no professional but you seem like you need help asap (judging from my own past experience, - I used to feel very boxed up in my life). Your own children need a healthy mom, if you don't want them to spend most of their lives in therapy.
In my humble opinion it's not your job that stresses you out so much, (even though of course there has to be a reasonable fit between a person and what they do), but something else. However if you were okay, if you were your own mistress, you wouldn't be stuck with a job that you hate.
Once everything seemed perfect in my life, - a decent job, good husband, but I was just not happy, cried all the time for no reason. Thus I lost first the job, then the husband.
Yadda-yadda-yadda, almost a decade later I have much less money (actually,I only have debts from school now), but I am happy, strong and have tons of kindness and patience to dispense on children and grown-ups too. After the hubby left I did see psychiatrist and psychologist for a long while and it was a lot of hard work and self-discovery, which was far from pleasant. But now I feel so whole after all that work. However it would not be possible without the qualified help of those doctors. Think about it. Nobody forces us into unfavorable circumstances, it all just depends on how strong and healthy we are to make the right choices. But if we are hurt inside, we need to be fixed first before we are able to take care of ourselves, our children or other people's children. hang in there, mrs. meg.
02-17-2009, 01:14 PM
I Love My Job! Ive been a licensed inhome daycare provider for 7 yrs now, and wouldnt change it for the world. I love each and every one of the children in my care now, Ive had to go thru a few rotten apples to get to this spot in my life thats for sure! This job is very difficult and you have to make time for yourself and get out of the house...After I many years back set up hours so I wasnt just open 24/7, that helped alot! Now once the kids are gone and Im closed I get out and do something. I joined a group called Lincoln county Mommies thats a local group around here and they are always having some kind of get together for that adult time. Im sorry your having such a hard time :o If you can work on getting out more and getting that time out of the house, I know that helped me alot! Feel free to email if you need to talk
02-17-2009, 02:54 PM
I get that burnt out feeling at least once a year. I sit down and play a week off or even an extended weekend to refresh. After some me time I look at the big picture and why I do what I do for a living. Hang tough you'll get through it.
04-16-2009, 08:11 PM
It sounds like you just need a break. Maybe take some courses on behavior and discipline. On thursday's and fridays I have someone come in to help me, this way I don't get frustrated. There are many times that I wanted to scream but we can't teach children self-control we don't have self-control.
Practice consistency in your discipline, use positive re-enforcement, and be encouraging. The lack of discipline at home is not the problem, it is the example that you set in your home. If you show a lack of self-discipline and self-control so will the children.
Once you begin to give the children a positive example you will begin to see positive changes in them. This is a proven in fact. . . . .I am in florida, and we have some online trainings that are awesome at www.myflorida.com/childcare/training and so does redleafpress.org, redleafinstitute.org, NAEYC.org, and many others. I am sure that you have undergone some training but it's always great to get some refresher courses.
I hope that I didn't offend you, sometimes its just best to look at the root of any situation.
05-13-2009, 06:44 AM
I think it is easy to get frustrated and border on the line of burnout. To help you escape some of those feelings and feel rejuvenated consider writing down all of the reasons you started your business and what the demotivating factors have been for you. Then write out a vision for yourself and the impact you want to make in this industry. This can really be a motivating activity. With your vision write it out and repeat it to yourself everyday. Include statements such as I look forward to...I'm thankful for...What if today is the day...
I think that many people pursue this profession with a certain vision. Then as time passes and other people (parents and co-workers) impose their issues on us, we lose our vision.
The trick is to get it back. Keep it within your focus. And then strive to align your thoughts, attitudes and actions in line with it. This may mean you become more consistent with your policies. Or more selective with your client base.
Either way it's your vision, hold on to it and make it a reality. You deserve it.
05-19-2009, 11:37 AM
I am a shm for 4 year have always watch a friends 2 kids and it was great. Now I have taken another family because of $$...well after 9mo..I'm looking for a job. The extra kids makes it hard I have one son at home and 4 daycare kids and the extra family it took are "bad apples".....I make for a really long day not being able to turn your back for a second.....they are really agressive.
If you are not able to work out of the home....try going outside alot with them, set a routine it really helps. Keep them busy and excited and try to think positive. Most kids thrive off routine. You need to have a plan...it will help. Hand in there go outside, get some sun it always helps me. No one tells that daycare or staying home with your own kids is way harder than any job.
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