Honestly, that is a long time to hold a spot open with $35. If you changed your mind, you'd walk away, give up your $35 in a heartbeat, and they'd be without that income for 8-9 months. That's not really reasonable, do you think? The assistant probably thought that it was ok, but the owner/director knew better.
I understand your wanting to nail down a care arrangement, but it is a long way off. I don't know any business that can just say "ok, well, we'll just do with less for that 8 months". They are not a charity, even if they are tied to a church.
I'd keep my deposit there, in your shoes, but also look at other places over the next few months. Once things are closer (like January), you should be able to get a better commitment from them or someone else.
I've never charged tuition while someone is waiting, but I do ask them to pay two-weeks deposit, and that's non-refundable. So, if they change their mind, at least I get something. I've never been asked to hold a spot for 8 months though...I couldn't, to be honest.
