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Meyou 02:11 AM 02-01-2012
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
I thought it was nuts too...

...until it percolated in my brain for a few months and one day I suddenly noticed what a little praise-junkie my DD had become. She wanted praise for EVERYTHING. She would do NOTHING without being cheered on. She LOOKED for the praise. She CRAVED that attention and recognition.

So for just a week, I tried making more meaningful statements about things she drew, I tried making observational statements about what I saw her doing, I tried urging her to be proud of herself.

And she changed. It took time, she was confused at first (she was pretty young) but she changed...she became proud of her own work. She praised her own work. Sometimes I would ask her before saying something, "Look at that picture you drew! How do you feel about it?" and she would actually tell me, "I don't like it. I'm going to draw another one."

She stopped seeking out that recognition for everything. I loved looking at her pictures, for example, and really studying them to find something meaningful to comment on.

I still thank her for helping pick up. I still praise her for a job well done--when it's really over and above the call of duty. I let her know that I notice and appreciate what she did or is doing.

it's not so much about not praising...it's about changing the way we praise, changing the reasons and especially the language.
This really hit home for me and I love how things are going with your dd. My biggest change here was a DCG that has gone from constantly saying, "Look at me!!!!!!!" to "I did it!!!" It was a huge change for me and for her. She couldn't do anything without an audience before, not the smallest thing.
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