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e.j. 11:20 AM 07-09-2013
Originally Posted by Evansmom:
As long as there are no other issues (like ADHD, SPD, Autism, etc.) and as long as no one is in danger from the tantrum I ignore them. Tantrums get nothing from me. If they are disrupting other children I will pick them up and move them to a place away from the group but that's it.

Sometimes I will quietly and calmly with no emotion say "when you settle down we can (fill in the blank with what you are willing to offer here)" or something like that but most of the time I just walk away or turn my back.

After the tantrum I will always have a quiet discussion about what happened, reiterate that tantrums and screaming get nothing and what I'd like to see happen instead like making a polite request.

Kids learn real quick that tantrums don't work with me and I don't and haven't had a problem with them.

Now kids with ED, SPD etc. another story and MUCH harder to deal with. I have two of my own with SPD and it's been a real challenge.
When my son (who has Asperger's) used to have meltdowns, this is exactly how I handled them. Reacting to them just fed into the tantrums and made them last longer. Remaining calm and ignoring them as much as possible allowed him to calm down much faster. As long as he wasn't in any danger of harming himself, I would calmly tell him, "When you're done, let me know." Once he was calmed down, we would talk it over and discuss better ways to handle his frustrations.
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