Originally Posted by Unregistered:
darn....now I have to log out again everytime I want to answer! I should have skipped the incognito thing....lol
Actually, I've already tried all that. We had some real heart-to-hearts, read some books about tantrums, talked about alternatives, and had a reward system where if he went 5 days straight without one he got a really cool toy. He ackomplished that (back in February). It still seems like his go-to behavior though.
Mom always excuses it..."he's tired"...."he must be getting sick" etc. I know that' part of the problem. Mom makes excuses, Dad treats him like an equal and takes him out to "work" on weekends. So, no one at home treats him like he's 5. Grandma rolls her eyes at him ALOT to indicate that she basically doesn't like him very much because he's just not very likeable most of the time.
He CAN be sweet, has a strangely quick sense of humor sometimes (and occasionally I can use that to steer him out of the negative, but not always, and sometimes I really don't feel like it).
I guess I'm wondering how the heck to teach someone...sometimes you just have to "suck it up, butter cup!"...lol It's a life skill!
Ugh, sounds like a sucky situation for the poor guy. Maybe you can have a good talk with the parents about this? Or recommend that they seek an evaluation for the outbursts...they might get parenting advice that way. You could even wait for a moment when mom makes an excuse for him and say to her, "No, he's behaving like this because people in his life make excuses for it and don't make him face the music. He needs to learn and stop having excuses made for him." I would probably say it with a raised eyebrow and a pointed look.
I would also say that you should go ahead and SAY "Suck it up, buttercup!" to him. Don't let his sister do all the cleaning. Make her STICK to his decisions and EARN the consequences or rewards. Tell him that in school there will be big trouble for acting the way he does and he needs to learn better behavior now so he can learn in school. You're right, it IS a life skill and needs taught just like everything else!