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Heidi 04:57 PM 04-25-2012
ok...so this is what I have done so far in the last 9 months....

-Explaining the reason, if possible, for my decisions.

-Moving him to another room to have his fit, saying "come on back when you are done.

-Reading books on feelings, giving him alternatives to screaming and throwing things (go to the other room and chill or punch a pillow or use your words...which he does...he talks all the way through a tantrum).

-smacking him upside the head....JUST KIDDING!

-Giving him a chance to earn a really cool reward (an RV vehicle) for going 5 days in a row without a tantrum. He did it....which proves he's capable of it.

-talking to him about WHY he has the tantrums in a quiet moment and explaining that although it's tough, sometimes we don't get what we want, and we NEVER get what we want when we act like that.

-Using humor and pretending to have my own tantrums...which all the kids think is hysterical. My daughter (14) made me sit on the step. He KNOWS he's being ridiculous...he laughed when I did it.

-Several weeks of a dollar reward system where he could earn "dollars" for positive behaviors (like helping someone or being especially kind), and loose them for poor behavior. At the end of the week, he could "buy" things at home from mom. This was tedious and a waste of time, but I went along with it because mom wanted to try it.

-Just plain walking away when he tantrums, which can be difficult in a house of our size. The 4 other kids, plus my 11 & 14 yo own kids and I all end up very ACTIVELY ignoring it, while we all keep making eye contact with each other to the affect of "Oh God, please let it be over soon!". If we can't walk away, like if he starts at the snack table because he didn't get the cracker he wanted (no kidding), then I remove him. I don't talk at all, just take his hand gently and lead him to a spot a bit away, then walk away.

He has been in school mornings, so I thought it was getting better, but after pondering, I think he is just here less, so it SEEMS better...lol

I guess I am just out of ideas! I want to help him, I really do, but at this point, I am going for survival.

I would LOVE to throw up my arms and say "goodbye" some days, but I have his 3 younger sibs too, and only have 5 in my group. Phone calls for care are rare around here....

So, knowing all that, what do think?
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