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DancingQueen 09:21 AM 11-11-2010
Originally Posted by :
In our school, these are characteristics that the school board insists on in children. The anti-bullying curriculum is all about using your words and getting help from a grown-up, instead of fighting back physically. I've tried to teach my kids the same ideals since they were born, and if I had to send them to daycare, I would much rather have a provider with a similar method!
I use the same philosophy. I don't allow hitting, pushing or any of those things. They are not only discouraged but the children in my care will receive a consquence for them and I discuss with parents. I encourage using words over actions always. I help them find the words they need. When they grunt or push I help them use their words - they don't get things by yelling or crying or grunting. I teach manners and expect them to be used. I encourage respect for everyone and everything in my home and out of my home. I teach sharing and understanding. I help the older kids to understand that the younger kids are little kids but not to relinquish anything to them just because they are little. We share and take turns. But in everything that I teach and expect there are always situations during the learning process where a child makes the wrong choice. My job is to help them learn the right way to express themselves. I don't like the implications made that anything other than nans way is teaching or allowing violence.
I find it idiotic.

If I have an 18 month old that hits another child (even a 4 year old <gasp>) I try to figure out what caused the hitting to begin with. Generally it is a lack of ability to communicate. I help them find the words they need in order to avoid hitting in the future.. but it takes time and understanding.

I think if I separated my kids in groups of say 1 18 month old with 1 four year old. I'd still end up with squabbles because the 18 month old is looking for instant gratification and I don't believe the 4 year old should give in to the 18 month old every time. I think if they did there would never be hitting - but I think that 18 month old is old enough to learn about waiting their turn. While learning to wait their turn they get frustrated and can occasionally hit or yell or shove or try to simply TAKE from the 4 year old. That doesn't make them violent! That makes them a 18 month old that hasn't yet learned or is still in the process of learning their words and the concept of sharing.
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