How Often Do You Terminate?

[My4SunshineGirlsNY]

Do any of you find yourself terminating often or wanting to terminate? I feel like I'm running across all the bad luck with difficult kids. Am I alone? In the past 3 years I have termed 3 families.

The first I was dealing with a BiPolar girl and her brother...I hung on to them for 6 months before saying enough is enough

The second was a preschool boy who hit/yelled in anger all the time...was termed from his previous daycare also.

The third wasn't all that bad but his mother was most of the issue.

Now I'm feeling the STRONG urge to terminate yet another one...this boy hits/throws and hurts the other kids all the time and it just all around a handfull...he has broke a few things and can be hyper and destructive. I'm beginning to put fault on myself but I know I am a lot more patient than a lot of other people would be.

I want to term in the worst way, I have others to replace him with by word of mouth, but I'm just scared to tell the mom...I'm a softie and I know she will be highly upset, she just changed her work hours so he would be here less because of his behavior....I just don't know how much more I can take of this boy's hitting/throwing.

[kendallina]

I haven't since starting in my home in Sept.

One center that I worked at we termed 3 in 3 years as well. We should have termed more than that, though, because we could not meet the needs of those children. Sorry you've had a bad run of luck.

[gbcc]

I try to avoid terminating as much as possible. In the 5 years I have been doing daycare I have termed 3 families. I too am a softy and I worry about the children, the stability and how another provider will treat them.

The families that I did term though, one was due to constant payment issues and the other two were due to the childs behavior. I tried so hard to work with the family and the child but when it was to the point that I felt other children could be at risk I had to term.

Go by your gut and the situation of your daycare. In my first situation I had some younger children come along and due to the aggression I felt the younger ones were an "easy target" so to say. The second situation, the children were older and able to defend themselves and would attempt to. In that case, I felt the offender was at risk so I termed.

[juliebug]

i think it really depends. some time people just don't fit. i have termed once in 3 years, but i keep a really small group and i can tell at interview most times it if will work or not.

In 5 years I have termed 4 kids. That seems like a lot to me. But they were each for reasons I felt warranted a termination. In my contract I have a section on termination of child care, and it backs me up. Each time I have termed I put myself through a lot of emotional termoil. I dont take it lightly at all. But I have to remember that I need to watch out for myself and the dc as a whole. Its never an easy decision.
Debbie

[MyAngels]

Just once in 18 years. I guess I'm either lucky with the kids I've had, or as patient as a saint. Probably lucky...

[cillybean83]

I get the worst parents/kids. I officially started daycare in May of last year, but before that I was doing some "babysitting" Here is my laundry list

December 2008 - Termed a girl because her 18 year old mother was habitually late picking her up (i'm talking like 8pm...with no calls) and would pick her up reaking of pot...grandma said she would quit her job and fight for custody, she won...so I guess I didn't term, but she left

Feb 2009 - Termed a baby girl because her mother was feeding her FOOD at 2 months (carrots, green beans, fruit, etc), her bowels got impacted, I nearly had to call an ambulance because mom wouldn't return my calls, she got airlifted to a hospital in nashville... she has surgery, mom brings her back in 2 weeks...with FOOD, I told her I would absolutely not feed her (she had never brought ME food to feed her before, she did it at home) she said that i was required to do what she said since she's the mother and she knew best. I gave her 2 weeks notice that day.

August 2009 - I was watching a 9 year old over summer break, he was a destructive brat, he was jealous that my son had a Nintendo DS, so he beat the screen of the DS with a marker and destroyed it. I told his father he would need to replace the DS (they cost $130), his dad *threw* $80 at me and said that was all he would pay on it because "it was my fault that I let my kid have nice things" (wtf?) so I told him to get out of my house and not come back

December 2009 - I had a baby, so the one little boy I was watching moved on to center daycare, I didn't offer to let him come back because his mother drove me nuts

August 2010 - Again, another little boy I was watching over summer break, 6 years old, pooped his pants, and would bite when he didn't get his way, he bit me, he bit my older son, and I had to term him before he got the idea to bite a baby

December 2010 - Termed due to a parent deciding they would no longer pay for daycare...but still wanted to come (um...no)

Originally Posted by My4SunshineGirlsNY

Do any of you find yourself terminating often or wanting to terminate? I feel like I'm running across all the bad luck with difficult kids. Am I alone? In the past 3 years I have termed 3 families.

The first I was dealing with a BiPolar girl and her brother...I hung on to them for 6 months before saying enough is enough

The second was a preschool boy who hit/yelled in anger all the time...was termed from his previous daycare also.

The third wasn't all that bad but his mother was most of the issue.

Now I'm feeling the STRONG urge to terminate yet another one...this boy hits/throws and hurts the other kids all the time and it just all around a handfull...he has broke a few things and can be hyper and destructive. I'm beginning to put fault on myself but I know I am a lot more patient than a lot of other people would be.

I want to term in the worst way, I have others to replace him with by word of mouth, but I'm just scared to tell the mom...I'm a softie and I know she will be highly upset, she just changed her work hours so he would be here less because of his behavior....I just don't know how much more I can take of this boy's hitting/throwing.

Well if you want to term in the worst way then do so. You will not be happy until you do it.
Can you put something or do you have something in your contact that says that you understand kids hit at times or will throw toys however, excessive hitting and throwing of toys will not be tolerated if after this behavior is brought to the parents attention and I do not see an improvement termination can be given without a two week notice.

[ninosqueridos]

A woman I know was a provider for 30 years (just retired)...and she only termed 2 in those years. TWO!!!! I've already termed 2 in under 2 years. A great lesson I'm trying to learn from her is be reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally picky about the families you select from the interview. I have to figure that one out and perhaps putting together a list of DEEP questions to ask the parents would be good. Who knows.... sorry you're going through this, but you're most definitely not alone.

[Live and Learn]

Seven years, three terms.

[Autismworld]

I've termed twice in 16 years.

First was during my 3rd year. Mother was the issue. She would constantly call and ask me to keep her kids beyond contracted time. Once in a while I would do it because I still had other children here beyond her contracted time. Then one day I told her nope, won't work today and she got very rude and quoted my business hours... I reminded her that my business hours and my contract hours with them are two different things. She then tried insisting that her kids were going to stay late...I told her not a chance. About 20 minutes later the dad called, and tried telling me it was my job to keep their kids and after all "You work for us" ARGGGG! When the dad arrived before contracted time to pick up their children I handed him a written two weeks notice. Sometimes the kids can be great but the parents, yeah, something else.

Second term was in my 5th year... a young mother with 3 kids, 3 kids each more naughty then the next. The two younger ones I was able to get control of fairly quickly... the girl however, nothing I did worked. For the safety of the other kids I had to term her... of course her brothers went with her. Looking back and knowing all I know now... I believe this child probably was affected by Fetal Alcohol.

There have been kids and parents alike, that I've tossed around terming over the years... but for the most part... I have been super lucky with having a great group of parents who work well with me and kids who don't make me pull my hair out on any sort of regular basis

[momofboys]

I've termed twice in 2 years. My very first DCF was a nightmare but I didn't realize it b/c they were my first. I felt sooooo much relief after I termed them. Their SA child taught my boys some terrible language, how to make annoying noises etc. The parents were the majority of the problem, would pick up late, schedule dr's appts for 15 min prior to my closing time & expect her kids to stay here while she went to the dr, tried to get me to give them discounts/credits when their child had to leave an hour or two early, made it sound like dad would take SA to school so I would only have him after school so I gave them a really cheap price. Dad NEVER drove the boy to school, after 3 months I insisted in changing his price. They always paid me on time but I always had to ask for it or they would "forget". SO glad I don't have them to deal with now.

The other family I termed had GREAT behaved kids, the parents were sweet too but the mom's expectations were way high. I was watching her SA daughter who was 8 years old & what started out as me suggesting I could assist with one school subject (she homeschooled) turned into the mom expecting me to do all the home schooling during DC hours! I did attempt to do it during nap times but it got old very quick & my pleas to the mom that I didn't have time to do it all (I had 4 other children in my care & doing all the homeschooling would have likely taken 1.5 hrs every day!) fell on deaf ears. I finally termed.