To Term or Not to Term

-back at daycare a little more than a year

-took a family needing care for 4 children (2 under 2) at a significant discount

-many behavioral issues with the children, parents are nice, but have a more ahem... "relaxed" parenting style...all 4 kids are very defiant at times, and all 4 throw tantrums pretty regularly. Other children I have had here have looked at them like

-I get smacked and kicked on a regular basis by 3 youngest (2 toddlers and an almost 4 yo)

-the trade off for basically only paying for 3 children instead of 4 was I was supposed to get one day off a week this summer (family member takes kids) PLUS another day off per month. Now, dcm is trying to negotiate OUT some of those days off.

-almost 4 yo must be supervised at ALL times including nap because she makes unsafe and/or unhealthy choices, and naps about 1/2 the time. That means she is on a mat next to me blathering away for all of nap time, and I don't really get a "break". I can't do a SINGLE thing when they are awake, and now feel a bit like a hostage at nap time as well.

-I have an 8 yo and 6 mo in the wings wanting part time who would make up about 1/2 the income I loose for this family.

Opinions please???

I forgot just how hard this kind of thing is!

[Blackcat31]

Your time, sanity and personal self-worth are more valuable than keeping clients (and children in this case) who treat you like dirt.

You already know what I would personally do.....

Sometimes it isn't about money.....kwim?

[saved4always]

Originally Posted by Blackcat31

Your time, sanity and personal self-worth are more valuable than keeping clients (and children in this case) who treat you like dirt.

You already know what I would personally do.....

Sometimes it isn't about money.....kwim?

ITA with this. Sounds like you are having a miserable time and it is not worth the money. I would take the part timers and term this family for behavior and because dcm is trying to back out of what was agreed upon to begin with for the price you are charging her. Then look for a better fit to fill the other spots.

[B Lou]

Take the advice and term before it gets any worse.(if that's possible) I have had the same issues with a parent that I've had in care for along time and have finally had enough. They are getting termed. Yes the first day with out will be hard, because I really do love the DCB but the stress free days will be a ray of sunshine.
Remember why you came to this job. I'm pretty sure it wasn't to be treated this way or for the stress.
The money is nice but your sanity is worth way more.

[renodeb]

My advice is Term!. Call that pt fam.
Debbie

[SunshineMama]

Term. Do not feel guilty. Theres no way I would continue that much stress for an elongated period of time.

[Christian Mother]

How long have you had the family? A yr...?

Hmmm...that's a hard one in deed.

I think that I would sit down with her and find out what exactly she needs. It sounds like she would need a complete schedule change...?

If you say no to her request then what? She pulls her children right and then run the risk of paying some steep prices for 4 children some where else. Then you have the the 8 yr old or the part timer to fall back on.

I think that if she wants to just plain on days the kids family can't care for them that you are there as a back up? I would advise her though that your fees would be more then what you'd normally charge as that's your day off. Then also if she needs you for the once a month day off same thing. Make it a price she will def. have to think about before calling you...

[Heidi]

Originally Posted by Logged out for privacy

-back at daycare a little more than a year

-took a family needing care for 4 children (2 under 2) at a significant discount

-many behavioral issues with the children, parents are nice, but have a more ahem... "relaxed" parenting style...all 4 kids are very defiant at times, and all 4 throw tantrums pretty regularly. Other children I have had here have looked at them like

-I get smacked and kicked on a regular basis by 3 youngest (2 toddlers and an almost 4 yo)

-the trade off for basically only paying for 3 children instead of 4 was I was supposed to get one day off a week this summer (family member takes kids) PLUS another day off per month. Now, dcm is trying to negotiate OUT some of those days off. Edited to add/maybe implied: these where supposed to be PAID days off.

-almost 4 yo must be supervised at ALL times including nap because she makes unsafe and/or unhealthy choices, and naps about 1/2 the time. That means she is on a mat next to me blathering away for all of nap time, and I don't really get a "break". I can't do a SINGLE thing when they are awake, and now feel a bit like a hostage at nap time as well.

-I have an 8 yo and 6 mo in the wings wanting part time who would make up about 1/2 the income I loose for this family.

Opinions please???

I forgot just how hard this kind of thing is!

)Just felt I needed to add that in case it is clear)

[itlw8]

I would term for behavior BUT if you can not bring yourself to do that this is what you do.


Dcm our agreement for a discount was based on 4 days a week plus one additional day off a month.

So if that is not going to happen your rate will rise to ____ which is the same as everyone else pays. In addition you owe ______ for the discount you already used for ---- days.


( back charge the days they got the discount as they will not be holding up their end of the discount.)

They will likely leave but you wanted that anyway

In the future stop giving discounts. If you feel you must the discount should not have happened until this summer.

[Heidi]

Originally Posted by itlw8

I would term for behavior BUT if you can not bring yourself to do that this is what you do.


Dcm our agreement for a discount was based on 4 days a week plus one additional day off a month.

So if that is not going to happen your rate will rise to ____ which is the same as everyone else pays. In addition you owe ______ for the discount you already used for ---- days.


( back charge the days they got the discount as they will not be holding up their end of the discount.)

They will likely leave but you wanted that anyway

In the future stop giving discounts. If you feel you must the discount should not have happened until this summer.

funny thing is, we did the same thing LAST summer (they started early summer), and only now is she complaining. In her mind, I get paid for 4 weeks in a month and only work 3 (although it's 5 days off per month, not a week at a time). That may be true, but the rest of the year, she gets care for 4 children (2 of which are under 2, so her 4 kids take up 5 of my 8 spaces) for the price of 3.

I only gave the discount because I know how hard it is to pay daycare for 4 children (and no, that's not REALLY my problem), and because I was starting out again after a long time out of daycare, so I needed the kids.

[Sprouts]

I would tell her u a changing contract and she will now be charged full price, so she can term herself or pay you what you are worth, even charge her a little more ....if its causing too much stress then term

[cheerfuldom]

Term. I would not put up with the bad behavior even if I was getting paid full rate.

[MarinaVanessa]

Originally Posted by Heidi

funny thing is, we did the same thing LAST summer (they started early summer), and only now is she complaining. In her mind, I get paid for 4 weeks in a month and only work 3 (although it's 5 days off per month, not a week at a time). That may be true, but the rest of the year, she gets care for 4 children (2 of which are under 2, so her 4 kids take up 5 of my 8 spaces) for the price of 3.

I only gave the discount because I know how hard it is to pay daycare for 4 children (and no, that's not REALLY my problem), and because I was starting out again after a long time out of daycare, so I needed the kids.

I think that you should create an invoice of what your regular rate is VS what she pays you and give it to her. Make one up for last year and one for this year. Show her what her discount is and how much you have saved her so far compared to what she's complaining about. It's a big difference believe me. If your area is on the lower end of the spectrum ($125/wk) these would be the numbers.

Regular rate YTD x 4 kids = $500/wk x 20 weeks = $10,000
Discount rate YTD x (3 kids) = $375/wk x 20 weeks = $7,500
YTD savings: $2,500
Summer agreement savings (for her): $25/wk x 3 wk, $50/wk x 1 wk = $125mo savings.

Once you go over the numbers with her give her one of 2 options (very nicely worded of course):
1) Things continue as they are and she sticks to what was originally agreed to and you get your paid days off during the summer (all of them).
2) You allow them to take those days off unpaid during the summer months but you retract the sibling discount and she pays full price for all four children.

Once she realizes how much she's saving it'll be a no brainer, she saves more money with her sibling discount than she would by not paying for the paid summer days off. But if she is still resistant make sure that you get your point across and drop the hammer ... let her know that if your rates and the current agreement don't work for her anymore because her needs have changed and her options don't appeal to her then she should not feel bad for you if she decides to find child care that can better suit her financial needs. Ensure her that she shouldn't feel bad for you and that you will be fine and have children interested in openings that can start as soon as her family begins DC elsewhere. Putting it this way is a nice way of saying that if she doesn't want to keep doing things the way they've been going then you'll have no problem replacing her family. Give her a time limit to decide, you don't want to drag this out and lose the other family that is interested but keep in mind that DCM may still eventually find cheaper DC and you should be prepared for that.

And on that note just keep in mind that she agreed to the current agreement so in fact her needs have changed, not yours. She is renegotiating the original contract and you are not forced to agree with her new terms if you are not comfortable with them. Be kind but stay firm and explain that you are already giving her a discount and you do not feel obligated to extend to her a bigger discount. If she decides to stay and continue her current contract I'd seriously consider giving her weekly/monthly invoices showing her current rate, her week/month's savings and her YTD savings. Anytime that you give anyone a discount (including waiving fees) you should always remind them about these savings so that they don't forget that this is in fact a saving. Otherwise their "special rate" becomes the "normal rate" to them and they stop seeing it as "special" or a discount. Good luck, and keep us posted.

Note:

Originally Posted by Meyou

Maybe listing the cold hard dollar facts might change mom's attitude. 22 days off looks pretty good compared to paying another $6000 a year, huh?

I didn't get to read your response before I posted. Looks like Meyou and I are on the same thought train

[Heidi]

thanks everyone. I put together a letter for mom similar to what you all suggested, along with a rate survey from our local CC&R.

I know she might be able to get cheaper care with an unregulated provider, but you'd think she'd have learned about that after her last illegal provider spanked the kids and fed them crap while they ran wild and watched tv all day long.

I can't share the letter here because there's too much indentifying info. Basically, I am giving her the option ofa part-time schedule for the summer at the FULL daily rate (what everyone else pays), or continuing with the discounted rate. She would be saving a little money with option one because I am only giving her the option of 3 days part time, not 4. and they will be days I choose based on other children's attendance. She does have family members who have the summer off, so she should be able to procure some free care for those days or take vacation days, whatever she works out.

[CheekyChick]

I would term, especially since she's trying to back out of your agreement.

[DaisyMamma]

It sounds like you feel stuck because of the income loss.
I feel your pain.
With that said, think about what it would be like without them? Calm, happy, unstressful environment. Once you term you will realize it is worth every cent. I've been there and you need to remember that it doesn't take all that long to fill that spot! You are halfway there with the waiting list. Summer is upon us, advertise for summer space and you will fill 2 spots in no time!
Good luck!

[Meyou]

I just did a little hard math with my rates to see how good a deal you're giving them even with the free days taken into account. These are according to my rates (150/week/child).

4 children @$150/week (REGULAR PRICE)
=$31200

3 children @$150/week (ONE CHILD FREE)
= $23400

12 monthly days off and 10 summer days off
=$1980 (@$90/day)

Total for discounted rate
=$25380

Total annual discount
$5820

Maybe listing the cold hard dollar facts might change mom's attitude. 22 days off looks pretty good compared to paying another $6000 a year, huh?