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  #1  
Old 05-02-2011, 09:38 AM
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Default Major Burn Out

Hello Everyone,

I haven't been on this site for a while. I am currently going to school part-time and between that and my own children and the kids I watch, I am short on time, but I had to post because I needed a place to vent and wondered if any of you have gone through this.


Any suggestions for being completely burned out? For the past few months I feel that I absolutely do not want to watch other people's children another day. My family took a vacation a few weeks ago and I thought that would help, but it made it worse, I just dreaded coming back home and getting into the grind. I keep thinking this will pass, but it is just getting worse as we ease toward summer, when I will have my AS kids here 50 hours/weekly.

I really think it may be time for a change, but my hubby isn't listening at this point and feels I just need to treat it like a job, just suck it up and get over it. Easier said than done. I am dealing with kids and I just think that it isn't that easy.
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Old 05-02-2011, 09:57 AM
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Tell him to take two vacation days and stay home in your place. Then see if he still says to, suck it up

Sounds like maybe it is time for a job change. However in todays economy, check things out before stopping your daycare. Jobs are hard to find now adays.

Well, except at my husbands Murphy gas station. He has been looking for an assistant for 11 months, but that is another story!
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  #3  
Old 05-02-2011, 09:57 AM
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Do you have to continue doing daycare? If not, some major changes could be in order. Its not fair for your husband to tell you to suck it up. If you are really this unhappy and there is some wiggle room to at least take a break temporarily, then you need to do it for your own sanity. Life is too short to be miserable every day and if your husband can't see that then just change whatever you need to and tell him to suck it up. Sorry if thats harsh but we just went through this like this winter. My husband is a good person but not capable of seeing that our current situation was really just sucking the life out of me. It was so awful and I finally stopped waiting around to be rescued and just made the changes myself. He got on board and now we are all much happier. Make the changes and get your life back!
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Old 05-02-2011, 10:02 AM
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I understand exactly how you feel. Can you cut back on kids? That helped me right now I only have two and it has helped me regain some of my life back. The hours are also really good they both come at 7:30 and the first leaves at 2:30 and the next one at 3:30. My daycare space in a walkout basement so it helps to just close the door at the end of the day. Not working so many hours has helped. It's hard to suck it up and get over it when your job is always around you and you can't really leave it.
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Old 05-02-2011, 12:09 PM
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I hear ya! I have a countdown timer app that counts down the number of days that I have left.

I know that makes me sound horrible, but it gets me through. I almost cried this morning knowing that the weekend was over and the kids would be here soon. And I have great kids--I can't imagine if they weren't!

I am just bored out of my mind and need to make some changes. I currently do a very loose curriculum. I am going to start doing what another member does--a different piece each day. Music one day, art another, etc. I think that will help me plan better and hopefully I can have some more fun with it.
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Old 05-02-2011, 02:48 PM
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Thanks for the suggestions and replies, it helps to vent to others that actually have a clue how it feels to watch kids.

My old boss may have a job opening coming up, so I really think I will call her and see what she says. I don't like going behind his back, but he keeps ignoring my cries for help, so I am going to have to do something. I may just need to cut back on kids, but to be honest, I only keep one 3 year old boy 5 days a week (plus my own 2&4), another 4 year old boy all day Friday, but I have 3 that come every day after school. I feel that I never get a break. With summer coming on, it seems there is no end in site because then I will have 4 kids plus my own 4 little ones. My 16 year old can help and I could pay her, but I just wish I could get some time off. It is really really stressful right now.
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Old 05-02-2011, 02:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mrs.meg View Post
Thanks for the suggestions and replies, it helps to vent to others that actually have a clue how it feels to watch kids.

My old boss may have a job opening coming up, so I really think I will call her and see what she says. I don't like going behind his back, but he keeps ignoring my cries for help, so I am going to have to do something. I may just need to cut back on kids, but to be honest, I only keep one 3 year old boy 5 days a week (plus my own 2&4), another 4 year old boy all day Friday, but I have 3 that come every day after school. I feel that I never get a break. With summer coming on, it seems there is no end in site because then I will have 4 kids plus my own 4 little ones. My 16 year old can help and I could pay her, but I just wish I could get some time off. It is really really stressful right now.
Can you dump the school agers? I would be in the depths of despair if I had three school aged kids coming full time a month from now. Even with a full time helper I could NEVER manage that.
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Old 05-02-2011, 03:10 PM
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I'm with nannyde.
No SA
I don't do SA but this weekend,my daughters best friends little sister age 8 came to spend the night with older sister due to a family emergency.
It was only Friday night til 10 sat morning and I wanted to pull my hair out. I don't know how you guys do it.

My 3&4 year olds behaved better than the 8 year old
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  #9  
Old 05-02-2011, 03:13 PM
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I don't know how you guys do it.
I think if the truth be told... most school aged programs are managing kids with screen play. I don't know about home providers but I think most school aged based care is now computer and gaming as their primary method of care.
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Old 05-02-2011, 03:19 PM
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Ugh that's crazy! But honestly I think I can understand why. Not that I do it, but the level of care these age groups need would drive me to it.
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  #11  
Old 05-02-2011, 03:21 PM
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The SA kids are all siblings of the little ones, so if I choose to lose the SA, then I would lose my little ones, but maybe I just need to say no SA and get all new ones anyways, not sure. I do feel the SA ones are difficult, then in the summer, they do not take naps, so I get no break at all. I have GOT to make some sort of change, that is for sure.
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Old 05-02-2011, 04:40 PM
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Y'all are getting me scared! I am losing one of my clients to maternity leave for the summer and to temporarily replace her I agreed to watch my other client's SA kid for the summer plus I losing one in June so her friend inquired and I said yes to her too. That solves the maternity leave problem and I thought it would be fun to have two 6 year old girls that are friends but now I'm not so sure...
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  #13  
Old 05-02-2011, 05:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mrs.meg View Post
The SA kids are all siblings of the little ones, so if I choose to lose the SA, then I would lose my little ones, but maybe I just need to say no SA and get all new ones anyways, not sure. I do feel the SA ones are difficult, then in the summer, they do not take naps, so I get no break at all. I have GOT to make some sort of change, that is for sure.
The having little ones in the home day care is how many parents of school aged kids get home providers to care for school agers. It's their anchor into part time care, no notice care, and summer care.

Unforntunately, many providers feel like they HAVE to agree to care for them in order to have the income on the younger child or children. Often the school aged kids are in the home day care for a very little amount of money. The provider really pays for this during the summer when they have to do hard time in order to secure the younger kids salary during the school year. Go through the threads in July and August on this board and see how providers fare once the newness of the summer care has worn off.

It's a big cycle of unhappiness. It's not that hard for the parents to find separate care for the school aged child. It's not that big of a sacrifice to take the kids to two places during the summer. It adds a little time to the parents routine but it's not that hard.

What IS hard is getting the school aged care cheap. When they go to a separate program they don't get a discount for sib care. The stand alone school aged summer care is expensive even with their large ratios. It's not cheap to keep staff because these kids require SO much supervision and intervention. It's not cheap to keep supplies because they are so destructive.

It's not easy to keep positive parent relations because by the time kids are this age they are very powerful and can clearly lobby for what they want. In order to stay alive you have to keep these powerful children happy. Many programs have turned to screen play because it keeps the kids sitting, playing without fighting each other, and allows the adults caring for them to do screens too (phone and the internet).

Having this age integrated with young children without having additional staff is one of the most difficult child care situations in home care. I tried it when I first started and then moved to school aged only on the evening shift. Eventually I couldn't even manage that because I found the kids just getting harder and harder to deal with.
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Old 05-02-2011, 05:46 PM
AnythingsPossible AnythingsPossible is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mrs.meg View Post
The SA kids are all siblings of the little ones, so if I choose to lose the SA, then I would lose my little ones, but maybe I just need to say no SA and get all new ones anyways, not sure. I do feel the SA ones are difficult, then in the summer, they do not take naps, so I get no break at all. I have GOT to make some sort of change, that is for sure.
I can completly relate to you on the SA situation. I too have 3 SA coming this summer due to their younger siblings. My plan is to put my older daughter in charge of them. She loves doing crafts and things of that nature. Of course she may not always feel like working with them, but I think if I put her in control of the whole thing she may groove with it. As for nap time, I have already talked with them and their parents and told them there will be 1 hour required quiet time in the afternoon. These kids have been raised here, so I am hoping that won't be to big of an issue.
I am really trying to just let go of a lot of stress over the summer by just accepting the fact that it is going to probably suck for the most part, but it is only 3 months, and I have already told everyone this is my last summer for SA care. I am accepting defeat and just going to roll with it
Good luck with whatever you decide to do. When I get very discouraged with daycare, my Mom loves to point out that most everyone has issues with their job. The difference for us is that if we choose to, we can get rid of the people that cause us the greatest issues. You can't get rid of an obnoxious co-worker!
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  #15  
Old 05-02-2011, 06:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mrs.meg View Post
The SA kids are all siblings of the little ones, so if I choose to lose the SA, then I would lose my little ones, but maybe I just need to say no SA and get all new ones anyways, not sure. I do feel the SA ones are difficult, then in the summer, they do not take naps, so I get no break at all. I have GOT to make some sort of change, that is for sure.
I dont know your financial situation but I cut back on everything I could think of so that I dont have to take many kids. It gives me more time with my daughter, which is the reason I started daycare.
I would say skip SA, advertise for new clients and dont take PT. The PT suck up my time, space and dont bring much money. FT makes more money and I can get the child on a schedule and used to my rules. May be easier to have 3 FT kids then a bunch on different days.
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  #16  
Old 05-06-2011, 08:17 AM
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Thanks everyone,
I actually called my old boss to see if she needed any part-time help. I am thinking if I could work 2 days a week I could keep 2 of the boys here because they are neighbors and have been here forever and are like part of the family. My oldest daughter needs a summer job and she could keep them & her sisters on the days that I work. I would just have to let other 2 siblings go, which I hate that, but I don't think I need the stress of that.

I am a very social person and I think I just need to get out into the world for a couple of days a week.

Thanks again, ladies!
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