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Old 09-07-2011, 12:27 PM
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jenny31052 jenny31052 is offline
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Default 8 Months Old Who Doesn't Know To Self-Sooth

I have this 8 months old girl, who is an angel until it's time to go to sleep - she is used to fall asleep drinking the bottle, however here I can't get her to go to sleep with one bottle, it has to be 2 or sometimes 3!! even if the other kids are playing quietly, she gets aroused with little things, like a car passing by, or my husband walking upstairs; last week it took more than an hour of rocking her, and feeding her the bottle, before she went asleep - in the meantime the rest of the kids had to entertain themselves, or better destroy the playroom
Today I decided that if she's not asleep by the time she finishes her bottle, she jsut gonna have to lay down and learn to go to sleep without it - well, it was 50 minutes of pure screaming, trashing, banging her head on the side of the pack and play, more screaming and more trashing... she then fell asleep... I even gave the bottle (with water in it) to suck while laying down, but as soon as she realized that it was not formula, she threw it out.

What do you do with babies like this? I've never had this problems with my son, or other infants, who knows how to sooth themselves... I felt bad, and I wished no one was outside hearing the show going on inside, but I can't spend one and a half hour each day trying to get her to nap... while the other kids (2 and 18 months old) are trying to keep busy their way...

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Old 09-07-2011, 02:26 PM
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What do her parents say is her bedtime routine at home? If she is being rocked to sleep, they need to start supporting the fact that their dd is now in group care and will need to learn a few new skills...one of them being able to put her self to sleep. If they say she goes to bed no problem at home, discuss with them the issues you are having at daycare and see what they say.

It could be something simple such as missing a favorite toy or blanket. Maybe the noise level is too quiet or too loud? Maybe she is used to complete darkness or white noise? Environment is very important in the early years and really impacts kids more than we think.

It may become necessary to either let her CIO, or to let her go if you are not able to meet her needs. It isn't a reflection on you, it is simply a matter of making sure each child gets whatever it is that they need and this little one may need one to one care.

If you do go the CIO route, I would make sure the parents are on board and I would take comfort in the fact that most kids who have to CIO, do get better and after a bit of consistent nap routines, the crying does get less and less until they become great sleepers. It is hard work and it can be draining but if you set a time limit on how long you are willing to let her cry (each day and overall) until you see progress, you should be just fine.
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Old 09-07-2011, 06:44 PM
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I would do CIO. Stick to a schedule, turn on white noise, darken the room and then put her down. She'll come around. If the parents are anti-CIO then you need to let them know that she cannot stay at daycare if she needs 90 minutes of soothing to get down to nap. Thats just not reasonable for group care. Even if the parents do something else at home, she can learn to go down for you.
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Old 09-08-2011, 11:29 AM
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I am sort of in the same boat. I have a 6 mo DCB and he nurses to sleep at home. I want to let him CIO, but I have other kids who are light sleepers. My house just isn't big enough. :-(

FWIW- Beware that some kids just won't do CIO. I had this one DCG around the same age as your girl and she would cry and cry. For more than an hour (she also nursed to sleep at home... trend??). She would fall asleep on my shoulder but would pop awake when I put her down. Thankfully she ended up moving out of state.

Good luck!
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Old 09-08-2011, 12:35 PM
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Back rubs, foot massages and the like help babies to quiet down without the bottle or directly being held. I rub/massage kids until they are fully asleep and slowly back off as they learn to self soothe. Going from being fed and cuddled to being dropped in a cold crib is bound to make babies upset. What they need is to be comforted and soothed while in the crib so they learn to be okay with the crib's look, feel, smell, and sounds. Simply going to CIO is not going to work for a lot of babies.
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Old 09-08-2011, 04:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jenny31052 View Post
I have this 8 months old girl, who is an angel until it's time to go to sleep - she is used to fall asleep drinking the bottle, however here I can't get her to go to sleep with one bottle, it has to be 2 or sometimes 3!! even if the other kids are playing quietly, she gets aroused with little things, like a car passing by, or my husband walking upstairs; last week it took more than an hour of rocking her, and feeding her the bottle, before she went asleep - in the meantime the rest of the kids had to entertain themselves, or better destroy the playroom
Today I decided that if she's not asleep by the time she finishes her bottle, she jsut gonna have to lay down and learn to go to sleep without it - well, it was 50 minutes of pure screaming, trashing, banging her head on the side of the pack and play, more screaming and more trashing... she then fell asleep... I even gave the bottle (with water in it) to suck while laying down, but as soon as she realized that it was not formula, she threw it out.

What do you do with babies like this? I've never had this problems with my son, or other infants, who knows how to sooth themselves... I felt bad, and I wished no one was outside hearing the show going on inside, but I can't spend one and a half hour each day trying to get her to nap... while the other kids (2 and 18 months old) are trying to keep busy their way...

I feed babies that age about an hour before I lay them down. They finish about 45 minutes before they go to bed.

Right after they eat they go into an upright bouncy seat for about twenty minutes and then right before nap they do about 25 minutes of belly time to play toys.

I would STOP feeding her right before she sleeps. Newborns to age about four months for that... then as they go from four to six months start moving the feeding away from nap time so that you can get a GOOD amount of upright time post bottle... then belly time before they go to sleep. They will usually poop after about twenty minutes from eating... then they do the belly time to work out the wilys.

Don't associate the bottle with nodding off to sleep. Put her to bed WIDE awake into a pitch black dark room.

She can have a full two to two and a half hour nap before she needs to feed again. That would be 3 to 3.5 hours in between feedings.... That is great for a baby this age.

She's having WAY too much bottle before she goes to sleep. One six to eight ounce bottle started an hour before you put her down. If she nods off during the bottle STOP feeding her... have her sit upright... till she is WIDE awake and then start feeding again. NO lulling to sleep.
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Old 09-08-2011, 05:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
I feed babies that age about an hour before I lay them down. They finish about 45 minutes before they go to bed.

Right after they eat they go into an upright bouncy seat for about twenty minutes and then right before nap they do about 25 minutes of belly time to play toys.

I would STOP feeding her right before she sleeps. Newborns to age about four months for that... then as they go from four to six months start moving the feeding away from nap time so that you can get a GOOD amount of upright time post bottle... then belly time before they go to sleep. They will usually poop after about twenty minutes from eating... then they do the belly time to work out the wilys.

Don't associate the bottle with nodding off to sleep. Put her to bed WIDE awake into a pitch black dark room.

She can have a full two to two and a half hour nap before she needs to feed again. That would be 3 to 3.5 hours in between feedings.... That is great for a baby this age.

She's having WAY too much bottle before she goes to sleep. One six to eight ounce bottle started an hour before you put her down. If she nods off during the bottle STOP feeding her... have her sit upright... till she is WIDE awake and then start feeding again. NO lulling to sleep.
I completely agree with this! My daughter and all the babies I've taken care of over the years have an eat, play, sleep cycle - meaning they eat right after they get up, then play and then go down for a nap. They don't go to sleep while eating. In an eat, sleep, play cycle, most babies will nod off to sleep while eating and, therefore, not get enough to eat to sustain them through a good nap. Of course, it helps if the parents are on board with this and do the same thing at home. And, of course, they don't do this for middle of the night feedings - just during the day.
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