At what Point do you Send Home Incident/Behavior Reports for Toddlers?

[E Daycare]

I have a 2.5yr old with whom I sent a incident report home with their parent today. I also discussed what happened at pickup and told the parent "I understand that 2.5yrs is a younger age (I have most 3yr olds and then an infant) but your child had the following issue today....

The issue was throwing sand. I recently bought a sand table that arrived yesterday. I filled it with blue and red sand and before all trips outside we review a small list of rules regarding outside play and now added sand play. This said child, whom I have to take extra care to make sure pays attention and hears me, ALWAYS has "remembering the rules" issues. When I mean always I mean every 5 minutes I have to say "now so and so, remember no digging in the dirt" or "you have a regular cup today, remember to watch where you put it so it doesn't spill" and more things like "stay away from the neighbors gate/drain crate". These are daily. I have to literally tell the child every other minute to remember what we talked about. "Sit on the bum because you fall off the chair all the time" rinse and repeat. Simple everyday things like "use your spoon for cereal" becomes a constant reminder. Dck also has depth perception issues (I say the child does as I've never seen a child like this but I'm no person to diagnose) because dck constantly walks into everything and everyone and falls down. Anyone deal with a child who was standing one second and the next their feet just gave way? This child always falls off chairs and stools. To the point when another child accidentally falls they say "I'm just like so and so I fell down!".

Anyways, off topic I know. So today during sand play, after my simple and to the point review on "do not throw sand you will not get to play with it" decided to throw all caution to the wind again and throw a handful in another child's face. I'm right with the children to make sure I can keep and eye and remind the dck to "remember do not throw sand". This child was mad another child was using a shovel. I told the dck whom threw the sand, that we had other shovels and the child immediately narrowed their eyes,looked off to the side, picked up a handful of sand and threw it at the other child. My immediate reaction was to confort the hurt child and gather the others to come in the house to access the situation. I had 4 older toddlers today, three followed and the one who was going to be in trouble smiled and went on their way to play happily in the sand. I set down the hurt child to bring in the " pleased with thyself" child and couldn't believe want a little stinker that child was! 10 minutes later I had flushed out the hurt child's eye and had a frank discussion with the dck on how that we do not throw sand, the friend was hurt and that the sand table was off limits for the rest of the day.

I wrote this up in an incident report and informed the parents of what had happened. My continued action plan is to have this child play more one on one in my setting and to assimilate the dck back with the others when I see directions can be followed. This child has been in my care 7mo and where there are minor issues I deal with daily (the constant reminding, basic common sense skills) I've never brought much up with the parent other then the dck constant falling down issues.

After such an extensive post I applaud you if you're still reading . Would you have sent a incident report home for something like this? I don't toss out reports home left and right but figure if I send home a BooBoo report home to the victim then an incident report needs to be sent home for the offending child if it wasn't an accident.

I do know that 2.5yrs is still young and it's apparent that this child is on the immature side for their age (still has a paci, not much verbal skills, calls me mommy and dh daddy) but I do want to make sure the child knows that I don't tolerate it. Dck does have an older sibling (4yr old sibling) whom goes to an actual daycare so I know this child has learned habits from home.

I just want to make sure I didn't over-react with sending home the incident report.