The Kid With The Stupid Ideas...

[youretooloud]

She clearly has no self preservation or math skills at all.

She's six. For the Love of Pete.... Stop doing the dumb things.

For instance, we have several of those stompers. The kind that look like buckets with jump ropes to walk on. We also have two inch tumbling mats. She continuously tries to use them on the mats. She gets hurt, and wants to CRY about it. I have no pity for a six year old who refuses to use common sense.

She swings her jacket (it's 114 degrees here...why bring a jacket?) around in circles, and is surprised when the zipper hits someone. "Wow.... how'd that happen?" She was lying on the floor and throwing a hotwheel in the air above her face. Big shock... she missed.

I have told her "No high heels" "No more jacket" etc, and yet, each day, she finds another way to hurt herself or someone else.

I'm tired of the crying about self inflicted injuries. Am I wrong to expect some foresight?

[littlemissmuffet]

My 5 (almost 6) year old DCB is the exact same way. And then he wonders why I don't hug and kiss him better when he gets hurt (which is many times a day). He's also the only child in my care that I have to remind at least 300 times a day not to run. He cannot heed simple warnings.

He also does extremely poorly in school (kindy) because he just will not listen to instruction and can't go five minutes without injuring himself or someone else becase he seemingly doesn't understand natural consequences! I highly doubt that he will make it through grade 1 the first go (unless teacher passes him just to get rid of him).

No discipline at home and he's basically raised by a tv.

[Blackcat31]

Sounds like she is bored. Does she have any age mates there to play with?

I don't have a lot of advice as the things you are posting about are the exact reasons I don't take the school age kids any more.

They are too hard to entertain and keep busy so they usually end up doing what this little gal is doing.

[cheerfuldom]

I would say bored too because I have noticed my 4.5 year old getting like this. She just gets in random predicaments but she is far from stupid. I let her learn the hard way.

[skittles]

Hi in my experience this type of child is not getting enough "in your face time with grown ups (caregivers at home ect..). My four year old use to purposely walk into the swings when the kids were swinging so he could cry and say the kids were "hurting" him. I also would have an eight year old constantly tease the kids so they would hit her so she could cry for attention. Basically, they are trying to get some attention from adults. These children are the ones who go from daycare to grandparents house during the week, or to bed around 6:30pm and then back to daycare. On the weekends they are at Aunties, grandparents ect.. they only spend a few hours each week with a parent or guardian. Just give her extra hugs, and smiles, pats on the head during the day. If you can give her 5 to 10 minutes of one on one time with her each day (reading, crafting, or special activity of her choice), you will see this type of behavior decrease dramatically. Make sure you are looking directly at her and be a good listener to her and she will be getting what she is craving for attention. Good luck. You should see some improvement right away once you start!

She sounds like she could be bored. Then again you can have every toy in the world and playmate and a kid will be bored.

or clumsy- some kids just are. They do things before they think about it.

Teach her once and then natural consequences, maybe twice she is a kid after all.

[Sugar Magnolia]

Bored, perhaps, or maybe just physically active. Maybe more complex puzzles, school age worksheets, more art activities? Something more challenging that also encourages calm sitting? Sometimes my kids have what appear to be "stupid" ideas, but if I give them the opportunity, they turn out to be brilliant ideas. For examine, a 5 year old was playing with blocks on a table. He couldn't make it as high as he wanted, couldn't reach. So he asked to stand on a chair. Ok. Once he had it taller, he asked if he could stand on the table. Yeah, stupid idea on the surface, but he had a good reason to stand on the table, so I allowed it, and the castle was fabulous when it was done. Maybe channel her impulses into a more creative outlet. I really value kids individuality, maybe this girl is a physical "learner" and needs motion and action to explore her world.

[e.j.]

It could be just her age, that she's bored or that she has an undiagosed learning disability/neurological condition. There are conditions that prevent the child from being able to anticipate consequences of their behavior. I'd try to be as patient as possible, watch her carefully and if you see her doing something she shouldn't, explain what the consequences are. It gets old, I know, but some kids really do need constant reminders until they can figure it out for themselves.

[Sugar Magnolia]

More thoughts on your specifics. The stomp things.... Put mats away or put stompers away. Jacket: "your jacket and high heels would be great items to add to our dress up clothes. No? They are yours? Leave them at home or I will gladly accept them as dress up clothes donation so everyone can play with them. Car throwing; "why dont you get out blocks and build a garage for your car? Or a road? Cars dont fly,.they drive and park." Guess what I am getting at is.....creative redirection. I try to always find a way to say "yes".

[youretooloud]

Originally Posted by Blackcat31

Sounds like she is bored. Does she have any age mates there to play with?

She might be bored. But, she does have her two best friends in the world here too. The other two can see around corners though and don't throw hot wheels in the air because they already know how it ends.

This girl did pretty well in school, but, she has "many outburts" according to her teacher. She'll just suddenly jump up and dart around, then go back to her work. They send her on lots of errands for them just to cut down on her outbursts.

Here, I mostly just see the bad ideas. "Hey, lets build this into a bridge and stand on it." (other kids) "Uh... No.... that won't work...lets just build a fort".

[daycare]

i know that this may be a challenge for you, but maybe you can make her your helper??

When the kids get like this, I notice that they are looking for my attention or are just plain bored. For some kids, they also just don't really have a concept of lifes natural consequences yet. You would think that at age 6 she would, but she just might be experiencing this for the first time.

I have a 4 year old that the parents wont let their kid do anything at all. I have no clue why, but they just don't. It could be that they don't have the patience for them. My house is the only place that the child gets to do any thing on his own. He is sooooooooooooo far behind where he should be with a lot of things and he sounds just like your DCG.

I don't do SA, but when i did, I would just have them become my helper. It took a lot of patience on my end when I did.....

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by youretooloud

She might be bored. But, she does have her two best friends in the world here too. The other two can see around corners though and don't throw hot wheels in the air because they already know how it ends.

This girl did pretty well in school, but, she has "many outburts" according to her teacher. She'll just suddenly jump up and dart around, then go back to her work. They send her on lots of errands for them just to cut down on her outbursts.

Here, I mostly just see the bad ideas. "Hey, lets build this into a bridge and stand on it." (other kids) "Uh... No.... that won't work...lets just build a fort".

Sounds to me like she really really really needs to work on impulse control.....she sounds like a one way ticket to the ADD diagnosis....which I am not too fond of since it seems to be a blanket diagnosis for everything now days... but that is a whole other thread....

I would really take the time to talk with her BEFORE (if possible) seh does anything. Like before she says "lets stand on this" after buolding the fort have her THINK:

T is it truthful
H is it helpful
I is it inspiring
N is it necessary
K is it kind

I know that particular example doesn't quie work but you get the idea....Give her a couple similar questions to ask herself BEFORE she does such "stupid" things, things that can clearly be dangerous if she doesn't learn to take the time and aks herself if it is wise to do what she does.

If she can't "learn" to think before she acts, she is definitely going to find herself in hot water alot.....I love natural consequences but in this girls case, she may really need to have some sort of boundaries to protect her and others from her. Maybe do some research on what kind of activities you can do to boost a child's impulse control and common sense thinking skills.

Good luck as I would have an awful time with a child like that! Kudos to you for noticing this behavior and trying to help her get a handle on it....

[spud912]

I have a 3 year old like that, so I feel your pain! I don't think it's boredom as much as I think it's a matter of testing limits (yours, hers, the toys, etc.). I think some kids were born with a tad more curiosity and destruction than others. I just have to repeatedly tell the 3 year old how to properly use the toys and have him demonstrate it. As far as the crying from getting hurt? I say "well that's what you get for not following directions" and then ignore. The crying has really cut down a lot! Wish I could give you more advice! Good luck!

[youretooloud]

UGH! so, we are playing "hide the rubber turtle" game. (hot-cold-freezing)

She's tearing up the room when it's her turn to look....just throwing toys over her head to look through things. I say "If you didn't hear him digging through the duplos when he was hiding it, it's not in there". She just says "Oh..good idea" and starts tearing up something else.

It's going to be a long summer.

[MizzCheryl]

Sounds more to me like she needs discipline, strict limits and to know that YOU are the one in charge. I have 6 year old too. Man they can work it and will do lots of stuff for attention. Doesn't sound like she is bored, she has got great playmates. When she tears the room up she should clean it ALL up by herself. When she throws cars sounds like she should sit alone is a amall area and play cars alone for a good length of time. Tell her she is learning the safe way to play cars. Break down the behaviors and let her relearn to play.

[Sugar Magnolia]

Originally Posted by Clueless

Sounds more to me like she needs discipline, strict limits and to know that YOU are the one in charge. I have 6 year old too. Man they can work it and will do lots of stuff for attention. Doesn't sound like she is bored, she has got great playmates. When she tears the room up she should clean it ALL up by herself. When she throws cars sounds like she should sit alone is a amall area and play cars alone for a good length of time. Tell her she is learning the safe way to play cars. Break down the behaviors and let her relearn to play.

Yeah, after reading the follow up comment about her tearing up the room, I have to agree with Clueless here. I changed my mind on this one. Not bored, has playmates, just needs limits and enforcement.

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by Clueless

Sounds more to me like she needs discipline, strict limits and to know that YOU are the one in charge. I have 6 year old too. Man they can work it and will do lots of stuff for attention. Doesn't sound like she is bored, she has got great playmates. When she tears the room up she should clean it ALL up by herself. When she throws cars sounds like she should sit alone is a amall area and play cars alone for a good length of time. Tell her she is learning the safe way to play cars. Break down the behaviors and let her relearn to play.

Originally Posted by Sugar Magnolia

Yeah, after reading the follow up comment about her tearing up the room, I have to agree with Clueless here. I changed my mind on this one. Not bored, has playmates, just needs limits and enforcement.

Couldn't agree more. She needs to learn to play and where her boundaries should be. Time for some tough love and consequences.

[MizzCheryl]

[quote= by yourtooloud
I'm tired of the crying about self inflicted injuries. Am I wrong to expect some foresight?[/QUOTE]

This drama queen attitude can be very bad for you as her provider. It sucks your energy away (energy vampire! That is why you get so frustrated (believe me I understand the frustration). Make her stop and give yourself some peace of mind. Do not let her behavior escalate. As soon as she begins the behaviors seperate her and give her a small task, a book to read, blocks, a simple toy. She will get it. She is smart! Ignore whining and protesting. If it gets disruptive move her farther away. Hope your day is better. I know how these sorts of kids can ruin your summer. Get tough on her and give yourself a break. She can learn that she cannot get away with it at your house, even if she does at home and at school.

[Soccermom]

Ah the joy of full time afterschoolers....I feel your pain.
Sometimes when I feel this way about a child in my care, I do try to stop and remember that this little one is likely looking for love and attention...since she can't get it from her mom who is the one person who will love her no matter what, she is turning to you. Most kids this age don't quite have the common sense we expect they should have. A lot of these little ones look mature in appearance but still have the mindset of a giant toddler. I know because I am currently raising one lol!
My suggestion to you is to keep her busy and give her lots of praise for appropriate and acceptable behaviour.

[3girls]

I would suggest trying really firm boundaries first.

But it does sound to me like something is wrong. Processing disorder, ADHD, spectrum disorder?

[youretooloud]

Update.

Poor kid. I feel bad for her.

She and her neighbor girl were playing house on the top bunk in her room. She got down, set up a bean bag chair so she could jump from the top bunk to the bean bag, but jumped too far. She knocked out three teeth when she jumped into the window ledge. She already had one missing tooth, and one loose tooth, so now she has four spaces. Her mouth is purple and sore and her lips are swollen and scabbed. I keep putting lip gloss on her lips because they are so dry from trying to keep her mouth open all the time.

The tooth fairy was not impressed, so she didn't bring money last night. Apparently she doesn't come for self inflicted injuries.

Not even a note from the tooth fairy.

[spud912]

Lol, I love that the tooth fairy was not impressed

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by spud912

Lol, I love that the tooth fairy was not impressed

Yeah that is awesome!!


...it is just too bad that some kids (and adults) just HAVE to learn the hard way.

[momofsix]

I'm wondering if she has some eye problems (along with the self-control) such as astigmatism? I have it quite bad and it really can mess with depth perception, especially if untreated. That could explain a lot of what would look like bad judgement as far as hurting herself and others goes. Just a thought!

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by momofsix

I'm wondering if she has some eye problems (along with the self-control) such as astigmatism? I have it quite bad and it really can mess with depth perception, especially if untreated. That could explain a lot of what would look like bad judgement as far as hurting herself and others goes. Just a thought!

Ya know that is an EXCELLENT point momofsix!

I have a little gal here who has recently had to begin wearing an eye patch to correct some eye issues. Ever since then she has been the clumsiest child ever.

Now that I am re-thinking this, she does alot of silly things the OP said her DCG does...throws things only to have them land back on her, falls alot, kicks things, trips on things, etc...all those things could absolutely be related to eye sight.