Potty Training Issues

[daycarediva]

I have a daycare boy that is 3 years 9 months and still having regular accidents. I have been working with him on a daily basis, and with complete consistency for over 6 months! Mom has told me flat out that she will pop a diaper on him for outings (and I get it, when you are busy on the weekends after working all week you NEED to run errands) but the poor kid is SO CONFUSED.

It is in my policy and procedures handbook that I will ASSIST parents in potty training. After two weeks of trial at home and moderate success. After his third accident this morning (and no other clothes) I just put him in a pullup. He peed on the area rug yesterday and sat there in it.(it was during circle time and he had his nap blanket over his lap). This morning he peed twice within 2 hours of being here and just pooped all over.
, which was on my other area rug and required him to be bathed (during other kids being dropped off, etc) just a nightmare.

I also care for his older sister, and she just told me that he pooped in his grandmothers pool and now they encourage him to poop outside (he attempted to do this yesterday) and that as soon as they get home he goes in a diaper! I really want to confront Mom and tell her that unless she remains consistent at home, I refuse to continue to help him here. Any thoughts?

and IMHO almost 4 is WAYYYY too old to be having these kinds of accidents without some kind of disability or delay! His older sister potty trained while at her grandmothers house for a week when her parents went on vacation and was almost 4 too. I hate to say it, but I think Mom is just being lazy!

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by daycarediva

I have a daycare boy that is 3 years 9 months and still having regular accidents. I have been working with him on a daily basis, and with complete consistency for over 6 months! Mom has told me flat out that she will pop a diaper on him for outings (and I get it, when you are busy on the weekends after working all week you NEED to run errands) but the poor kid is SO CONFUSED.

It is in my policy and procedures handbook that I will ASSIST parents in potty training. After two weeks of trial at home and moderate success. After his third accident this morning (and no other clothes) I just put him in a pullup. He peed on the area rug yesterday and sat there in it.(it was during circle time and he had his nap blanket over his lap). This morning he peed twice within 2 hours of being here and just pooped all over.
, which was on my other area rug and required him to be bathed (during other kids being dropped off, etc) just a nightmare.

I also care for his older sister, and she just told me that he pooped in his grandmothers pool and now they encourage him to poop outside (he attempted to do this yesterday) and that as soon as they get home he goes in a diaper! I really want to confront Mom and tell her that unless she remains consistent at home, I refuse to continue to help him here. Any thoughts?

and IMHO almost 4 is WAYYYY too old to be having these kinds of accidents without some kind of disability or delay! His older sister potty trained while at her grandmothers house for a week when her parents went on vacation and was almost 4 too. I hate to say it, but I think Mom is just being lazy!

The bolded part is your answer. You are paddling against the current here friend and things are never going to get better if you are the only one doing anything.

STOP. This child has a mother and until she takes control and does something to assist her child in his progress NOTHING you do is going to help.

Look at it from her viewpoint.....YOU are doing all the work and she is simply waiting for results. NOT cool!

[mema]

I have this same child except mine is a couple months younger. 2 months ago I almost put her in underware. She was 3 days away from 2 weeks dry. Ever since then she has had maybe 3 days dry. I stopped doing anything. If she asks or stands in line for the bathroom great, but if they aren't going to acknowledge and help at home, forget it.

[My3cents]

Originally Posted by Blackcat31

The bolded part is your answer. You are paddling against the current here friend and things are never going to get better if you are the only one doing anything.

STOP. This child has a mother and until she takes control and does something to assist her child in his progress NOTHING you do is going to help.

Look at it from her viewpoint.....YOU are doing all the work and she is simply waiting for results. NOT cool!

Bingo! It takes everyone to be on board if potty training is going to be a success! Going back and fourth with a pull up or diaper other then bed time is confusing to a child. PT should start at home- Communication with the parent is key. Once the parent knows that your not going to under take the task all by yourself they usually step up and try. good luck-

[countrymom]

I just don't understand why parents want to change stinky diapers on a 3 yr old.

[Willow]

daycarediva - if you've been at this 6 months he obviously wasn't ready when you started. If he was he'd have gotten the concept long ago. If I were you I'd demand he go back to diapers fulltime when he's with you. Mom is welcome to do what she wants but you're done cleaning up his accidents. If you can try to convince her he needs a restart. I agree with you that he's confused (totally not your fault) and it'll be the only way to wipe the slate clean in his mind.

Originally Posted by countrymom

I just don't understand why parents want to change stinky diapers on a 3 yr old.

It's not that they want to, it's just that thankfully most parents understand all children develop different skills at different rates and it's really not that big of a deal. They understand that force can really hinder the process and while changing a 3 year old might not be their favorite thing it's worlds better than changing a 10 year old who has become completely oppositional to utilizing control over their own bodily functions.

If the concept of changing diapers on a 3 year old is that repulsive to you then don't do it, but there's nothing abnormal about it at all.

[daycarediva]

See, I think he WAS/IS ready. Monday/Tuesday are a ton of accidents (even with reminders), but by Friday at 6pm, he is having zero accidents(no reminders). Monday morning starts the process all over again.

I am just going to tell her that I think he would do better if she was following what I do here, since it seems to be working so well here and see what she says. I am going to insist that he stays in pullups.

[SunshineMama]

Originally Posted by daycarediva

I have a daycare boy that is 3 years 9 months and still having regular accidents. I have been working with him on a daily basis, and with complete consistency for over 6 months! Mom has told me flat out that she will pop a diaper on him for outings (and I get it, when you are busy on the weekends after working all week you NEED to run errands) but the poor kid is SO CONFUSED.

It is in my policy and procedures handbook that I will ASSIST parents in potty training. After two weeks of trial at home and moderate success. After his third accident this morning (and no other clothes) I just put him in a pullup. He peed on the area rug yesterday and sat there in it.(it was during circle time and he had his nap blanket over his lap). This morning he peed twice within 2 hours of being here and just pooped all over.
, which was on my other area rug and required him to be bathed (during other kids being dropped off, etc) just a nightmare.

I also care for his older sister, and she just told me that he pooped in his grandmothers pool and now they encourage him to poop outside (he attempted to do this yesterday) and that as soon as they get home he goes in a diaper! I really want to confront Mom and tell her that unless she remains consistent at home, I refuse to continue to help him here. Any thoughts?

and IMHO almost 4 is WAYYYY too old to be having these kinds of accidents without some kind of disability or delay! His older sister potty trained while at her grandmothers house for a week when her parents went on vacation and was almost 4 too. I hate to say it, but I think Mom is just being lazy!

Could the child have SPD?

If not, then the mom is lazy. I had a dcb trained at 1 month before age 4. His mom was just lazy and never did anything. Ugh- nothing is nastier than having to change an almost 4 year old's poopie diaper because they didnt feel like using the toilet.

On a side note, my dcb woke up one day and decided he was going to use the potty from now on, and has only had 1 accident since, in 6 months. He was always capable- he just didnt feel like it.