Kids Say the Darndest Things.....

[melskids]

we were singing "5 little ducks" at circle this morning and one little girl was just singing her little heart out....

"and the one little duck with the feather in his crack, he led the others with a quack quack quack"...LOL

[MarinaVanessa]

lmao! That's too funny. Sometimes when I think that nothing can surprise me one of the kids says something that makes my jaw drop.

Kind of like the other day with my own little girl (we're big fans of the show the biggest loser) while I was at a stop light she says "Where their shirts?" (she's 5). "What?" "Where's they're shirts? They don't have their shirts" I look back at her "What are you talking about?" She points to the bustop on our left where two heavy set men are waiting for the bus and says "Those losers (what she calls the people from biggest loser) aren't wearing their shirts with the colors" OMG, thank god we were in the car. I would have died of embarrassment if she'd have said it in front of them.

[TGT09]

lol I love kid quotes!

[jen]

Aww, that is too funny!!!

We have a teacher who comes in to do a travel themed lesson 2x per month. A couple of weeks ago she told all the kids to close their eyes. Little, dcb says, "why? ya' gonna steal my wallet!"

They crack me up!

[mamajennleigh]

Melskids, that made my day! I absolutely love kids and their ability to just go with whatever comes to mind! I am still laughing out loud sitting here at my computer - thank goodness they are all sleeping

My sister was singing in the car one day and her son told her to be quiet, saying, "Please be quiet mommy, you're driving my nuts".

Another time, they had been listening to the radio while in the car and they passed a Terminex billboard on the highway. Now, if you're not familiar with Terminex's logo, it says, "No bugs, no hassles" and they had heard the commercial on the radio from time to time. So, as they were passing the sign, my sister's little boy says, "Look Mommy! No bugs, no a**holes!"

Yep, he's a hoot.

[QualiTcare]

i was just thinking about this earlier when a little boy was trying to sing that song "paparazzi" and he was saying, "bubba, bubba francine" cus it says papa paparazzi.

i know this one kid who had heard that song "i'm in love with a stripper" and there's a part that says, "i see you winding and grinding up on that pole."

THANK GOD this kid would go around singing, "i see you whining and crying up on the floor."

only a 3 year old could mistake those lyrics.

[Pammie]

Ha!
One of my dcg thinks that the paparazzi song is about someones grandpa named, "PaPa Razzi"!

[Childminder]

I'm not sure if I posted this here or another forum but 3yr grand-daughter told a dcm that 'My Damma has two black titties and my Dampa has one big tittie.' (that would be kitties)

I keep a list going on the fridge and put the sayings on it to remember.

Years ago a girl brought me an apple and asked me to take the wrapper (peeling) off. The other day they were eating waffles and talking about the whiskers. I went over thinking they had hairs or something on them. No, it was the syrup threads or as we now call them 'whiskers'. Another little one calls skeletons 'skuckles'.

[fctjc1979]

I have a jar for each one of my daughters that I write funny little things they say and do on little pieces paper and put them in the jar. When they get married, I plan on cracking the jars open, reading a few of them outloud at their reception, and then just giving them the rest.

[QualiTcare]

Originally Posted by fctjc1979

I have a jar for each one of my daughters that I write funny little things they say and do on little pieces paper and put them in the jar. When they get married, I plan on cracking the jars open, reading a few of them outloud at their reception, and then just giving them the rest.

that's a good idea. i wish i would've written down things my kids have said because they crack me up - and i can't remember most of what they've said.

kind of like the baby book that got filled up until about 6 months old.

i really need to start doing that!

[missnikki]

I have one-
When my daughter was about 3, we were in a store shopping, when I saw a man in a wheelchair who had only one leg. (He was wearing only shorts and was barefoot, too.) My daughter caught sight, and immediately put her hands on her hips, marched over to him, and said loudly, "Hey! You're supposed to have another leg!!" I could have died.

[misol]

Originally Posted by fctjc1979

I have a jar for each one of my daughters that I write funny little things they say and do on little pieces paper and put them in the jar. When they get married, I plan on cracking the jars open, reading a few of them outloud at their reception, and then just giving them the rest.

OMG this is such a great idea! I'm stealing it.

[mamajennleigh]

Once when my oldest son, now 17, was about 3 or so, we went to a local diner for lunch with my husband. We were just being seated at the table and my son yells out, "Look mommy, it's a pirate! A pirate!" so loudly the entire place could hear him. I turned around and looked behind me and there was a man with an eye patch. I wanted to crawl under the table.

[MarinaVanessa]

Originally Posted by missnikki

I have one-
When my daughter was about 3, we were in a store shopping, when I saw a man in a wheelchair who had only one leg. (He was wearing only shorts and was barefoot, too.) My daughter caught sight, and immediately put her hands on her hips, marched over to him, and said loudly, "Hey! You're supposed to have another leg!!" I could have died.

OMG!! I almost fell out of my chair I laughed so hard

[melskids]

one day when my sister was little, we were in the car going somewhere, and an older gentleman cut my mother off. pardon my language , but she yelled "you got some brass balls grandpa!"

a few weeks later when we went to visit my grandparents, sure enough my little sister asked grandpa if he had brass balls too...lol


one day we were discussing the toothfairy and one little boy kept arguing that adult teeth fall out too. i said "A, adult teeth DO NOT come out"

he said..."sure they do....gramma takes hers out every night"


one night we were watching survivor and in the beginning credits they were showing the natives of the island rowing in a canoe and chanting some song in their native language. my smart aleck son says "i know what song their singing......row row row the boat"

i could go on forever...lol

[TGT09]

Originally Posted by fctjc1979

I have a jar for each one of my daughters that I write funny little things they say and do on little pieces paper and put them in the jar. When they get married, I plan on cracking the jars open, reading a few of them outloud at their reception, and then just giving them the rest.

What a great idea! I will be sure to do this!

[fctjc1979]

I homeschool my 10-year-old daughter and we had been working on estimation in math. One morning, when I asked her repeat to me the tasks she was supposed to do, she forgot several of them. So I asked her, "Are you sure thats all you're supposed to do today?" She replied, "Well, I was estimating."

[mamajennleigh]

Originally Posted by fctjc1979

I homeschool my 10-year-old daughter and we had been working on estimation in math. One morning, when I asked her repeat to me the tasks she was supposed to do, she forgot several of them. So I asked her, "Are you sure thats all you're supposed to do today?" She replied, "Well, I was estimating."

Bwaaahaaahaaa! You guys are the best, thanks for sharing. Kids are so funny, and this thread has had me laughing out loud since yesterday!

[sahm2three]

ROFL! That is too cute! Love it!

[TGT09]

Conversation went like this:
Me: Time to go potty
Dcg: Why?
Me: Because you haven't been in a while.
Dcg: Awww crap!

Luckily I've never heard her cuss any other time. I laughed when she wasn't looking.

[professionalmom]

DCB (barely 2 years old) was sick and his mom was taking him to the doctor. She asked him if he wanted to go to the doctor. He said "yes!" So mom asked, "Do you know what a doctor is?" He said, "Yes. Doctor Monkey. No jumping." She called me immediately because she knew we sing "5 little monkeys jumping on the bed" here.

[booroo]

I will never forget the time my 13 year old at the age of 5 asked Santa for duck tape!! It goes like this:

Santa: well hello there ----, have you been good this year?

Son: well your probably going to put a little raindeer poop in my stocking, because I have been a little naughty at times!!

Santa:: with a big smile, well I will check my list, in the meantime, what would you lime for Christmas??

Son: I really would love some duck tape.

Santa: duck tape for what??

Son: so I can fix things like Daddy does!!

[Chickenhauler]

My son was riding with me not that long ago in the PU truck. I listen to a local classic country station, and the Kenny Rogers song "Lucille" came on.

My boy started singing along, and he sang "You picked a fine time to leave me Lucille, FOUR HUNDRED CHILDREN and a crop in the field".....

All I could think was.....I'd leave too with that many kids!

[gkids09]

I was printing out some paperwork for a new client, and a 5 year old dcb was standing there watching. The house the daycare is in was my great-grandparents', so it does have a few older touches to it, but they have mostly been updated. Anyway, he looked at me and said, "So, was this school built like...when the dinosaurs were here or something??" I had to bite my tongue so I wouldn't laugh at him!!
Same kid asked me a day or two later who the man on the penny was. I told him "Abraham Lincoln." He said, "Oh, he's dead right?" I told him yes, he asked why, and I told him he got shot a long time ago. Dcb looks at me and looks back at the picture of the penny on the wall. "Then how come they don't have a red dot on his picture where he got shot?? Well...I guess they just can't be for real can they?" HAHAHA I love my job.

[pigletsmommy]

My DH & I learned very quickly not to have "discussions" infront of one dcb, 3 yrs old.

DH & I have a ongoing disagreement regarding his tobacco use. Its gross, unhealthy...blah blah blah. He never listens to me (but thats another kind of forum).

DH told me one day he was running up to the store. I asked if he was going to get his tobacco. I kind of sighed and joking-ly said 'I would rather you cheat on me than put that stuff in your mouth" My DH just shook his head and headed for the door.

DCB whispered to him "Mr Wes...PLEASE dont cheat on Ms Katie!"

Same DCB was on vacation last week. He went to Disney Weird

[TGT09]

So I had to search up this thread because I honestly have been laughing at 3yo dcb all day. I was changing dcg's diaper and he asked where her weiner was. I told him only boys have weiners. He then proceeds to tell me "my dad has a fat weiner"! Ewww not what I wanted to hear kid! lol I "almost" told his mom about it (not that I was offended, just that it was hilarious).

ETA: He snuck a peek while I was changing her diaper, I don't typically let them just watch when it's opposite sex.

[melskids]

Originally Posted by TGT09

So I had to search up this thread because I honestly have been laughing at 3yo dcb all day. I was changing dcg's diaper and he asked where her weiner was. I told him only boys have weiners. He then proceeds to tell me "my dad has a fat weiner"! Ewww not what I wanted to hear kid! lol I "almost" told his mom about it (not that I was offended, just that it was hilarious).

ETA: He snuck a peek while I was changing her diaper, I don't typically let them just watch when it's opposite sex.

too funny!!!

[misol]

Originally Posted by TGT09

So I had to search up this thread because I honestly have been laughing at 3yo dcb all day. I was changing dcg's diaper and he asked where her weiner was. I told him only boys have weiners. He then proceeds to tell me "my dad has a fat weiner"! Ewww not what I wanted to hear kid! lol I "almost" told his mom about it (not that I was offended, just that it was hilarious).

ETA: He snuck a peek while I was changing her diaper, I don't typically let them just watch when it's opposite sex.

This is the funniest! I am sure the next time you see the dad you will be chuckling to yourself.

I don't even want to think about what my kids tell other people when I am not around

[TGT09]

Originally Posted by misol

I don't even want to think about what my kids tell other people when I am not around

My paranoia and curiosity always has me wondering what kids tell their parents and other people. This same DCB told me that his mom punched his older brother in the face! LOL No way, didn't even begin to think that was the truth.

[MN Mom]

When my daughter was 4, my husband and I were watching Lord of the Rings. We were at the part when Frodo was trying to throw the ring in the mountain of fire and she said "Why he do that!? That's Lorda's Ring!!!"

We still tease her about it to this day.

[missnikki]

Originally Posted by TGT09

My paranoia and curiosity always has me wondering what kids tell their parents and other people. This same DCB told me that his mom punched his older brother in the face! LOL No way, didn't even begin to think that was the truth.

Like my aunt used to say:
"I promise not to believe what they say about home if you promise not to believe what they say about school."

[laundryduchess@yahoo.com]

when my daughter was trying to read,.. she would get so angry at the highway people,.. she would say the road workers were mean,... they didnt have manners,.. etc,...finally I asked her,...
she said,.. they go and label all the roads "idiot"

I said,.. WHAT??? she said,.." Look mom,.. all the signs say idiot" ,..



they said IDOT (indiana dept of transportation,..) lolol,.. we still tease her,.... she turns 17 in oct.

[TGT09]

Originally Posted by laundryduchess@yahoo.com

when my daughter was trying to read,.. she would get so angry at the highway people,.. she would say the road workers were mean,... they didnt have manners,.. etc,...finally I asked her,...
she said,.. they go and label all the roads "idiot"

I said,.. WHAT??? she said,.." Look mom,.. all the signs say idiot" ,..



they said IDOT (indiana dept of transportation,..) lolol,.. we still tease her,.... she turns 17 in oct.

OMG, that is too funny! That sounds like a graduation speech in the making from her parents! :-)

[TGT09]

Originally Posted by missnikki

Like my aunt used to say:
"I promise not to believe what they say about home if you promise not to believe what they say about school."

I've heard that somewhere on here before and I completely agree. I just never have a chance to say it to a parent (yet). Ha!

[JJPlaycare]

Back when my daughter was potty training right around 20-24 months she would use the "I have to go potty" to get out of the car! Well we had been shopping all day and it was about bedtime and of course the excuse came out and I was pretty sure she didn't have to go, but thought awww I better stop I don't want to discourage her if she wants to go! Well needless to say, we got in to the gas station and of course she didn't have to go potty, but I had to go number 2! LOL Sorry for the details, it just makes the story!

So I am sitting there and my daughter litterally is jumping up and down and clapping her hands and saying "Mommy you did it, you went poopy! It is a big one mommy, it stinks! and on and on and on" HOW EMBARASSING! I was trying my darndest to distract her, but she was ALL about POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT! LOL

I wanted to crawl into a hole and die! Unfortanately I have several embarrassing bathroom stories with both my girls, I guess they make like interesting!!

I am going to share one more quick one though! LOL We were using the restroom while out to dinner and my daughter was right around 2 when another lady in the restroom had diarrhea, well my daughter use to call it "Dia-roo" LOL She was saying in her tiny little, girly concerned voice! "Oh pore lady gots dia-roo mommy, she gots a tummy ache!" I didn't know whether I should bolt out of there and try to beat her out of the restroom or wait until she was done!! I am sure she was equally embarrassed!

[Lilbutterflie]

Originally Posted by JJPlaycare

Back when my daughter was potty training right around 20-24 months she would use the "I have to go potty" to get out of the car! Well we had been shopping all day and it was about bedtime and of course the excuse came out and I was pretty sure she didn't have to go, but thought awww I better stop I don't want to discourage her if she wants to go! Well needless to say, we got in to the gas station and of course she didn't have to go potty, but I had to go number 2! LOL Sorry for the details, it just makes the story!

So I am sitting there and my daughter litterally is jumping up and down and clapping her hands and saying "Mommy you did it, you went poopy! It is a big one mommy, it stinks! and on and on and on" HOW EMBARASSING! I was trying my darndest to distract her, but she was ALL about POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT! LOL

I wanted to crawl into a hole and die! Unfortanately I have several embarrassing bathroom stories with both my girls, I guess they make like interesting!!

I am going to share one more quick one though! LOL We were using the restroom while out to dinner and my daughter was right around 2 when another lady in the restroom had diarrhea, well my daughter use to call it "Dia-roo" LOL She was saying in her tiny little, girly concerned voice! "Oh pore lady gots dia-roo mommy, she gots a tummy ache!" I didn't know whether I should bolt out of there and try to beat her out of the restroom or wait until she was done!! I am sure she was equally embarrassed!

That one is hilarious! I love this thread!

Two weeks ago, my 4 yr old dcb made a parrot/bird out of kid k'nex. He brought it to me, so proud of himself, and said "Look! It's my pecker!!" I told him "Good job! But that's a parrot." He replied "No, it's a pecker. It's MY pecker." Well, I let it go and chuckled to myself when he turned around. But ALL DAY LONG he carried this thing around talking about my pecker's doing this, my pecker's doing that, etc...
My 2 yr old ds has a thing lately where if we encounter someone in public that doesn't have a smile on their face or acknowledge him, he thinks they are bad. So, more than once, someone will pass by us at the store with a serious look on their face & my son will point his finger and shout "Mommy, that man is BAD." I could just crawl under a rock!

[MarinaVanessa]

We were just playing at the park when DCB 9yrs stands at the top of the slide and yells out "I'm done for! The end is near! (exsaggerated) Please tell my mom I love her when she comes by to pick up my body... Oh and not to forget to feed Dodger!(his dog)" then goes limp and slides down the slide.

[TGT09]

Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa

We were just playing at the park when DCB 9yrs stands at the top of the slide and yells out "I'm done for! The end is near! (exsaggerated) Please tell my mom I love her when she comes by to pick up my body... Oh and not to forget to feed Dodger!(his dog)" then goes limp and slides down the slide.

HAHA Yep, he sounds like he's been hanging out with my SA's! SO dramatic about everything, even playing! lol

[DCMomOf3]

Does this count? As I was preparing lunch, one of my DCGs started a bid-old antrum and my DS asked her why she was crying. She said between sobs "Quincy made me sit at the table!"

[MommyMuffin]

Originally Posted by Lilbutterflie

That one is hilarious! I love this thread!

Two weeks ago, my 4 yr old dcb made a parrot/bird out of kid k'nex. He brought it to me, so proud of himself, and said "Look! It's my pecker!!" I told him "Good job! But that's a parrot." He replied "No, it's a pecker. It's MY pecker." Well, I let it go and chuckled to myself when he turned around. But ALL DAY LONG he carried this thing around talking about my pecker's doing this, my pecker's doing that, etc...
My 2 yr old ds has a thing lately where if we encounter someone in public that doesn't have a smile on their face or acknowledge him, he thinks they are bad. So, more than once, someone will pass by us at the store with a serious look on their face & my son will point his finger and shout "Mommy, that man is BAD." I could just crawl under a rock!

I love this!!! Too funny!

I'm total lurker, but I love this thread, and I had to share. My DS, 5 years old, calls a hook a "hooker". Well, we were at the store, and I had put something in my cart that was in a package that hangs by a little hook. He put it on his finger, and announced, loudly, "Look, Mom. I'm a hooker!" Everyone around me turned to look, SO embarrassing!

[kidkair]

Today we were eating snack when 20month old dcg says "More rabies please." I nearly choked on my raisins I was laughing so hard! Last time we had raisins she called them "ray rays" so the "rabies" was a total shock!

[melskids]

Originally Posted by laundryduchess@yahoo.com

when my daughter was trying to read,.. she would get so angry at the highway people,.. she would say the road workers were mean,... they didnt have manners,.. etc,...finally I asked her,...
she said,.. they go and label all the roads "idiot"

I said,.. WHAT??? she said,.." Look mom,.. all the signs say idiot" ,..



they said IDOT (indiana dept of transportation,..) lolol,.. we still tease her,.... she turns 17 in oct.

omg! you know how some businesses use flags that say "open" outside their building? one day the wind was blowing a flag in the wrong direction and my son asked me what "NEPO" meant. will still tease him to this day....when we drive by a business with one of those flags, we'll say "look jon, they are nepo today". he gets soooo mad!!!!

[DreamBig]

I was working in a kindergarten room and one child was upset that her friend had played with someone else at recess and another child came out and said "that's like cheating!"

Also, my mom told me that when I was little we were in a store at the butcher counter where you can see all the meat through the glass. I saw a piece of sausage and said "look mommy, poop!" haha, when I think about it now she must have been so embarrassed

[Chickenhauler]

Way back when, before my wife and I were an "item", we were just friends, and her daughter was 4 years old. They came over to visit, and I had a new puppy. Now, at the time, this dog was about the size of a pop can for a body with a walnut for a head.

This dog barked non stop at anything new or different or strange, so when they came to the door, she's yapping her head off.

The 4 year old gets all excited and yells "KITTY!".....all the adults present just went dead silent in utter amazement.

She turned 15 Tuesday, and we still rib her about that one.

[MarinaVanessa]

I got a call from the school nurse today to pick my daughter (5yo) up because she fell down and hit her butt pretty hard. She was okay but complaining that her butt hurt (she has a bruise but otherwise ok). When we got back she went to the daycare closet and started rummaging through my first-aid kit and I asked her what she was looking for. She says "I think my butt's broken". "Well you won't find anything in there for that" I told her and gave her a bowl of ice-cream instead.

About 1 hour later 1yo DCB tripped backwards and fell on his bottom pretty hard and I was trying to console him when she ran over concerned and then began to scold me and tell me that rubbing his back was not going to fix it and that I should give him a bowl of ice-cream.