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Old 10-20-2010, 01:27 PM
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Charity Charity is offline
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Angry Lord How Can Parents DO This??

Ok so I love reading all of your threads and post here frequently. I have a small in-home daycare and today got my last kid which makes me full. We can watch up to 6 here (including our own) until licensed. So this lil boy makes 5. Anyways.... the mother brings him to meet me yesterday and lets say I was in shock. He will be 2 in November (same age as my daughter) and for one obviously has some developmental issues. He is VERY large in size, (over 50 lbs). and is very bow legged. But at the same time he barely talks and throws fits. The mom informs me that the boy will only eat cookies and chips for her and she feeds him milk in a bottle and ritz crackers for breakfast. OMG so I was freaking... and I tol dher that the kids in my daycare do not get chips and do not get cookies. They eat healthy meals and sometimes will get graham crackers for snack with fruit. Today is his first day and its been crazy.... I do not know what to do ... He has literally slung 1 kid by the shirt into a wall and pushed another down several times... Being that he is so much bigger than them he can do some damage. He wont drink anything for me obviously shes never gave him juice and he throws his cup at me. Needless to say I feel sorry for him cause its not his fault but I feel like Im putting the other kids at risk. But at the same time I am trying to help him. Now is is bullying the other kids and they(including my daughter ) are scared of him and all hide under me when he getrs near them. I dont know whether to tell the mother I cant keep him or what do I do????? I have put him in time out alone and explained to him tht he has to be nice and cant be mean ... but this isnt working
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Old 10-20-2010, 01:41 PM
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Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
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Looks like it is time for a serious chat with mom. You will need to see if you and her can come to some agreement that his behavior is dangerous to the others and if she wants to continue having her child in daycare (yours or any other) she will need to start working with you to change his bad behaviors. If she doesn't seem interested in working together then I think that the family may not be a good match for your program. You have an obligation to the other kids in your care as well. It is definitely hard sometimes when parenting can take on so many different styles, but cookies and chips for breakfast?!?! No wonder he is so wild...he's all hopped up on sugar!!
Realistically, you will find your share of families with parenting styles that just don't work with yours. Your solution is to basically work it out or let him go.
Open, honest communication, along with an effort on both your parts, is absolutely necessary. Good Luck and keep us posted!
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Old 10-20-2010, 01:43 PM
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I would continue with the timeouts and be persistent with his meals. I had a dcb similar to this and at one point thought about terming him. I didn't because I needed the income and in the process stuck to my guns with him. He no longer hits. He still isn't the greatest eater but is getting better. I always save his favorites for last so that he eats veggies and stuff first. As for his developmental issues. Work with him as much as you can and then ask mom a lot of questions about his at home behavior to hopefully get the wheels turning. Then maybe she'll have him tested. Good luck, hope this helps!
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Old 10-20-2010, 02:03 PM
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Preschool/daycare teacher Preschool/daycare teacher is offline
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Whoa! The kids are afraid of him, and run when they see him? Give them a couple days with this routine and they'll all be afraid to come to your house. I would give him the trial period amount of time with constant communication with mom. At the end of this (we do a 2 week trial period), if there's no improvement, for the sake of your other kids and your business (parents will start pulling their children out if they feel they aren't safe, or if the children are old enough to communicate why they don't want to come anymore) you'll probaby need to terminate. While it's nice to help these poor kids out when we can, we also have to think of what is best for us and the children in our care. This behavior sounds like it would be a long hard process to make even a dent in it. And keep in mind, the first two weeks with a child is usually called the "honey moon" period, where the child behaves better than they do once they're used to coming. We've found this proved time and time again. It's much much much easier to terminate during the trial period than it is after that. The longer the behavior continues, and the more time that passes, the harder it is to terminate. Almost imposible. Especially if you like the family and they pay on time and follow all the policies, etc! good luck and keep us posted!
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Old 10-20-2010, 02:17 PM
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Well as I have read all your eplies and consulted with a dear friend of mine... I do not state anywhere in my contract about a trial period. I have texted the mom and told her what was going on at lunch time and she seemed like she was familiar with this and was not shocked. But 5 mins ago he totally ran from one side of room to other and purposely pushed my daughter down who is alot smaller.... then went after her earring for the 2nd time. I am going to explain to her that due to the fact that he is too rough and violent I cant risk the other kids. Thanks for all your help and I will let you know how this goes
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Old 10-20-2010, 06:36 PM
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WOW! I haven't read all responses, but read your reply.

I would absolutely tell mom that his behavior is unacceptable, dangerous and when he's just a little older it will be scary. I would then ask her what she plans to do to correct his behavior because I would not be able to keep her son if he continues that behavior. I would make her come up with a plan of what she will do at home to stop this behavior and I would tell her that I will call her at work if he behavior becomes too threatening to the other children and she will need to pick him up for that day.

I'd give it a week and if it's not better, they're gone. And I'm not a provider that ever thinks of terming as an option, but whoa...

Good luck and KUP!
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Old 10-20-2010, 06:56 PM
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Sounds like he may have a form of autism. The chips and cookie diet could indicate a texture sensitivity, behavior and other developmental delays... just a thought.
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Old 10-20-2010, 07:15 PM
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Skittles.. its funny you mentioned Autism... I was actually thinking the same thing and discussed this with my friend... Seeing things he does with his fingers and his actions and holding his breath are all signs.... but how do I approach her on it and ask if hes been tested.. some parents take it as an insult
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Old 10-21-2010, 03:57 AM
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How to approach the testing question? Remind her that you are a professional. Also you could find a developmental guide and check off what you see him do and tell mom to take him to the doctor with the sheet to get started. Here's a great site for milestones as well as info on autism and other development stuff: http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/index.html
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