Daycare.com ForumDaycare Insurance Daycare Insurance LIST YOUR DAYCARE!

FIND A DAYCARE!

Facebook


Go Back   Daycare.com Forum > Main Category > Daycare Center and Family Home Forum

Daycare Center and Family Home Forum Daycare Center and Family Home owners, Directors, Operators and Assistants should post and ask questions here.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 12-10-2010, 11:31 AM
sahm2three's Avatar
sahm2three sahm2three is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,113
Default I am SOOOOOOOOOOOO Livid Right Now!!!

I either walk or drive to take or pick up my dcg from preschool. Today was a beautiful day, so I decided to get the kids out and we walked. The 5 kids I walked with did awesome. Two babies in the double stroller a 2 year old holding on, and a 4 and 6 year old walking along side. We have done this many many times before. Nothing new. We get dcg, and as I always do, I re-go over the rules with them for walking together. We get thru the parking lot, get to the field we walk thru and the big kids know that they can run thru the field but stop at the fence and wait for me. We have done it 100 times before, same kids, they ALL know the rules! Well, today, dcg that we picked up gets to the fence, goes around it and takes off running! I am SCREAMING at her to stop. I grab the 2 year old and start RUNNING telling the other kids to stay with me. She doesn't stop. She disappears around the corner and I continue to run. Babies are crying, so is the 2 year old. I am SCREAMING at the top of my lungs for her to stop. We get around the corner and she is ACROSSED the street standing in front of my house! I LOST IT!!! I have NEVER yelled at a dck. Never. I don't yell at my own either. I was LIVID. I screamed at her that it was so very dangerous. I told her she was lying down for the rest of the day. She put everyone's lives in danger. I asked her if she knew the rules. Yes. I asked her if she heard me yelling for her to stop. Yes. I am so pissed. I am trying to decide whether I call parents and tell them what happened or wait until they get here. I am going to tell them that they are going to have to find someone else to take her to and from school. If I can't trust that she will follow the rules after doing this 100 times with no problem, and then just all the sudden break the rules and be completely dangerous/wreckless. What would you do?!?!?
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 12-10-2010, 11:36 AM
Lilbutterflie's Avatar
Lilbutterflie Lilbutterflie is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: TX
Posts: 1,366
Default

I think I would get one of those ropes that have the rings for them to hold on to; and make her hold on to that alongside you. Or there are those ropes with handles all along them for them to hold. If she does it again, I would tell the parents you can no longer pick her up from school.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 12-10-2010, 11:54 AM
JJPlaycare's Avatar
JJPlaycare JJPlaycare is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Green Isle, MN
Posts: 292
Default

I would make her stay by you and allow the other kids who followed the rules to continue the routine of running through the field, until you feel you can trust her again!
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 12-10-2010, 11:57 AM
marniewon's Avatar
marniewon marniewon is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 895
Default

I wouldn't try it again, I would tell parents to find other arrangements to get her to and from school. The rope/rings thing would be great, but what would prevent her from just letting go and start running? Nope, something this dangerous I would be done. You have to look out for the rest of the kids too. Wow, just reading this made me angry! I can't believe she did that!

I would wait until pick up to talk to the parents though. By then you will have calmed down a little and can calmly (but firmly) talk to the parents. I tend to trip over my tongue a bit when I'm angry or upset, so that's what I would do anyway.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 12-10-2010, 11:57 AM
Live and Learn's Avatar
Live and Learn Live and Learn is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Paradise :-)
Posts: 959
Default

Don't call the mom wait until pick up when you have cooled off a bit!
I would stress your fear and not your frustration. This dck needs to hold the corner of your jacket or something when walking home.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 12-10-2010, 11:58 AM
MommyMuffin's Avatar
MommyMuffin MommyMuffin is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 825
Default

If that happened to me I would write a note on my daily sheets and maybe let them know what happened when they pick up.

I would also make her help me or stand next to me as I push the stroller. If she did it again I would talk to the parents about the problem and explain why it can never happened again and if it does then someone else will need to pick up dcg.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 12-10-2010, 12:00 PM
laundrymom's Avatar
laundrymom laundrymom is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2,482
Default

well I for one wouldnt let her go with the others, she would walk beside me holding my jacket every day for a good long while.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 12-10-2010, 12:16 PM
DBug DBug is offline
Daycare Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 930
Default

I had something very similar happen several years ago. Dcg (4 yo), took off leaving me to drag 4 other kids after her. Very long story short, it culminated in me having to run in front of a Mac truck to grab my 2 yo, who was wandering right down the middle of a busy road, while the dcg played in a puddle on the shoulder of the road! I still get so angry when I think about it. Dcg sat in timeout for the rest of the day, and my son (who took off after her) got a spanking and spent the rest of the day in his room. I was seething! And dc mom laughed it off! .

Anyway, I know exactly how you feel, and all I can say is make sure your dc mom knows exactly how dangerous this behaviour is. I'd also probably make them find another way to get back from preschool, like a pp said. But whatever happens, I would definitely NOT trust this dcg again!
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 12-10-2010, 12:26 PM
sahm2three's Avatar
sahm2three sahm2three is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,113
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by DBug View Post
I had something very similar happen several years ago. Dcg (4 yo), took off leaving me to drag 4 other kids after her. Very long story short, it culminated in me having to run in front of a Mac truck to grab my 2 yo, who was wandering right down the middle of a busy road, while the dcg played in a puddle on the shoulder of the road! I still get so angry when I think about it. Dcg sat in timeout for the rest of the day, and my son (who took off after her) got a spanking and spent the rest of the day in his room. I was seething! And dc mom laughed it off! .

Anyway, I know exactly how you feel, and all I can say is make sure your dc mom knows exactly how dangerous this behaviour is. I'd also probably make them find another way to get back from preschool, like a pp said. But whatever happens, I would definitely NOT trust this dcg again!
Yep, she is in timeout for the rest of the day. I don't care what anyone thinks of that, had it been MY child, she would have gotten a couple swats on the butt! For SURE! I am still mad. I didn't call. But mom is going to get the whole story when she gets here. Good thing is, mom and dad are super supportive, and back me 100%. Whatever punishment I give here, they carry over there and then some. She knows she is in trouble. I am beginning to think there is something wrong with her. Like mentally. She is super smart, very articulate, but she is kind of scary. She laughs when she gets in trouble. She likes it. It is strange. And her parents are fantastic. Very on top of it, and loving and involved. But they have noticed some scary things too. I honestly think she needs to be seen by a therapist of some kind. But I will let the parents come to that conclusion. I am so upset. There is no way I will attempt to walk to pick her up again. But I refuse to load all the babies day in and day out in the van to go get her either. So they are going to have to arrange for one of the other parents to pick up and drop off. I asked the dcg why she did it and she said, "Because I wanted to." So, no impulse control?! UGH.......
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 12-10-2010, 12:31 PM
CoachingForQualityImprovement's Avatar
CoachingForQualityImprovement CoachingForQualityImprovement is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 3,722
Default

Not cool. And, I'd be mad too.

That being said, if the parents are super supportive, I wouldn't put them in the position of having to make other arrangements for preschool transport. Since you have the ability to drive to/from, I would just do that from now on.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 12-10-2010, 01:07 PM
sahm2three's Avatar
sahm2three sahm2three is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,113
Default

Here is what I am struggling with now, two hours after the incident, I feel so not in control. I felt so confident that I had things under control. In an instant, this one child disrupted all of that and I don't know if I have ever been so scare and angry. I can't imagine what I would have done if someone had gotten hurt. My confidence is shaken. The kids had ALWAYS listened so well, and I never had a problem. We always walk on the nice days. We have probably walked 50 days since the end of August. Same routine, every single time. So why now? I should share another story about this dcg. She came one morning with a little red mark below her chin. She said something about having vaseline for her lips. I said, ahh, and do you have an dry spot below your lip? Then the girl shows me this thing on the inside of her lip that looked like a canker sore. I say, ouch, canker sores hurt. Mom says, No, that is where she bit thru her lip falling down the stairs. I say, Oh sweetie! Are your stairs carpeted? (aimed that last bit towards mom) She looked at me shocked and says, "She fell down the stairs here...?" Huh? No. I mean, if she had fallen down the stairs here, she would have screamed, there would have been blood, the whole neighborhood would have heard here. So when I asked her later what happened and her story changed. When my daughter got home from school she asked her what happened and it changed again. So dc mom and I concluded that SOMEWHERE she hurt herself doing something she wasn't supposed to be doing, and didn't tell anyone she got hurt because she knew she would be in trouble. Wow.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 12-10-2010, 01:51 PM
Michael's Avatar
Michael Michael is offline
Admin & Owner-Daycare.com
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Palm Springs CA, Moorpark CA, Ocean Ridge, FL
Posts: 5,205
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilbutterflie View Post
I think I would get one of those ropes that have the rings for them to hold on to; and make her hold on to that alongside you. Or there are those ropes with handles all along them for them to hold. If she does it again, I would tell the parents you can no longer pick her up from school.
Here is the other thread on Walking Ropes: http://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=23251

I feel for you on that one. My son when that age was told to wait until I had locked the car after parking it. He bolted out of sight and I ran as to where he was before. I then see him running across the sidewalk and a car is coming up the street and he was going to run right in front of it. I never ran so fast in my life and just barely grabbed him by the back of his hair as he was about to cross the street. He would have been run over. I have no idea why he did that. You never forget it.

Last edited by Michael; 12-10-2010 at 02:02 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 12-10-2010, 02:00 PM
laundrymom's Avatar
laundrymom laundrymom is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2,482
Default

I say tether. Put a backpack on her under a jacket and tether her to you by hooking it to the pack. I say walk still just take away her freedom. I'm sure the others love the walk
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 12-10-2010, 02:08 PM
grandmom's Avatar
grandmom grandmom is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 628
Default

Oh-my-gosh. I'm so sorry.

Please start documenting this child. In writing. Not to minimize your current scare, but I'm personally more scared by your new comment that she changed her story. A child who has that inclination can get a provider is more trouble than you can ever dig out of. Document that you talked to the parents about incidents like this.

And about today, be careful how you talk to parents. Make sure they know you were in control, but the child took off. You could easily end up with a complaint about this if the parents turned on you. Cover yourself.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 12-10-2010, 02:23 PM
sahm2three's Avatar
sahm2three sahm2three is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,113
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by grandmom View Post
Oh-my-gosh. I'm so sorry.

Please start documenting this child. In writing. Not to minimize your current scare, but I'm personally more scared by your new comment that she changed her story. A child who has that inclination can get a provider is more trouble than you can ever dig out of. Document that you talked to the parents about incidents like this.

And about today, be careful how you talk to parents. Make sure they know you were in control, but the child took off. You could easily end up with a complaint about this if the parents turned on you. Cover yourself.
I really have no worries about this with the parents. None at all. Not to sound naive. They are neighbors to my parents, I have known them for years, before the kids. The dad picked up and hugged me and told me I was wonderful and that she is just hard and that they have nothing but the ut-most confidence in me. And a few minutes ago, mom dropped by with a bottle of my favorite wine, and told me that they loved me and appreciate me. I cried. They really are sweet, and we really are on the same page!!
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 12-10-2010, 02:52 PM
marniewon's Avatar
marniewon marniewon is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 895
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by sahm2three View Post
I really have no worries about this with the parents. None at all. Not to sound naive. They are neighbors to my parents, I have known them for years, before the kids. The dad picked up and hugged me and told me I was wonderful and that she is just hard and that they have nothing but the ut-most confidence in me. And a few minutes ago, mom dropped by with a bottle of my favorite wine, and told me that they loved me and appreciate me. I cried. They really are sweet, and we really are on the same page!!
So what did you decide about getting the girl from preschool? Will you still be doing that or will the parents find someone else to do that?
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 12-10-2010, 03:19 PM
nannyde's Avatar
nannyde nannyde is offline
All powerful, all knowing daycare whisperer
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Des Moines
Posts: 6,299
Default

http://cgi.ebay.com/Safety-1st-Tot-A...item45f751ecff

I have used these for about ten years.

I never allow free walking. My kids would comply to my voice commands 999 times in 1000 but that one time out of a thousand they didn't would be the end of my career. I can attach tot a longs to all five walking kids and attach the other end of it to the front, back, and middle of the stroller on each side.

http://www.nanshouse.com/apps/photos...lbumid=7213977

If you look at this album you can see stroller pictures of how I attach the kids to the tot a long and the tot a long to the stroller.
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 12-10-2010, 03:34 PM
melskids's Avatar
melskids melskids is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,762
Default

oh yeah, she would definetly be leashed to the stroller for THE REST OF THE YEAR. let her watch the others who still get to frolick through the field. that should teach her.
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 12-10-2010, 04:03 PM
DancingQueen DancingQueen is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 582
Default

this is why I posted a while back that I have to stop my park trips. I can't run in 3 directions at the same time and for an instant I felt completely unsure of myself

I feel so bad for you because I know that feeling.
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 12-10-2010, 04:44 PM
sahm2three's Avatar
sahm2three sahm2three is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,113
Default

Well, I won't be walking with them until/unless I get the tether thing like nan linked. Parents agreed. She can't be trusted! So I guess I will just be driving her. The parents are so great that I can't inconvienience them like that, so yes, I will still be taking her, but she will be strapped in to a car seat!!!
Reply With Quote
  #21  
Old 12-10-2010, 05:45 PM
QualiTcare's Avatar
QualiTcare QualiTcare is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,484
Default

there are only a few things that warrant a spanking IMO - this is one of them (not that u can do that, but like u said...if she were yours)!

i used to argue with my profs. about it and say "a spanking hurts a lot less than being ran over by a car."

i would do what laundrymom suggested with the backpack until you can do what nan suggested. i'd probably stick a brick in there too just bc i'm nice.
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 12-10-2010, 07:24 PM
Bizzymom1111's Avatar
Bizzymom1111 Bizzymom1111 is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 97
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by sahm2three View Post
I really have no worries about this with the parents. None at all. Not to sound naive. They are neighbors to my parents, I have known them for years, before the kids. The dad picked up and hugged me and told me I was wonderful and that she is just hard and that they have nothing but the ut-most confidence in me. And a few minutes ago, mom dropped by with a bottle of my favorite wine, and told me that they loved me and appreciate me. I cried. They really are sweet, and we really are on the same page!!
First off-omg, I'm so sorry this whole situation happened: ( Second, what wonderful dcps to have!! I smiled when I read what they did for you! That gives me hope that there are great dcps out there! (just wish they'd enroll at my daycare!!)
__________________
~Everything happens for a reason~
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 12-10-2010, 09:16 PM
SilverSabre25's Avatar
SilverSabre25 SilverSabre25 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Where I am legally unlicensed ;), USA
Posts: 7,439
Default

First--how scary!! I'm glad it turned out okay.

Second--what great parents!

Third--Based on what you have said about her behavior, I am wondering if there's some ADHD, ASD (high-functioning, Aspergers or PDD-NOS or something), or something more serious going on--the kinds of things that kids can't help and parents can't help and usually can't be detected until the child gets older. Since she does have such great, supportive parents who seem to really, truly trust you, I would consider bringing it up--document some of the things you've mentioned here, and ask them to schedule a kid-free conference, and ask them if they've noticed any of the same things and if they are at all concerned. Let them know that you are really, truly concerned and want to see that she gets the help she needs, if she needs any.

I understand your wanting the parents to come to that conclusion, but honestly, we as daycare providers see many, many children and we sometimes have a better idea of "normal" than parents have--and your saying something might be the confirmation they've been looking for. I see it on a parenting message board all the time--parents saying that they wish with all their heart that the teacher/child care provider/whoever would have said something sooner, would have mentioned the concerns, would have pointed out the problem.
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Old 12-10-2010, 09:44 PM
misol's Avatar
misol misol is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 722
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
http://cgi.ebay.com/Safety-1st-Tot-A...item45f751ecff

I have used these for about ten years.

I never allow free walking. My kids would comply to my voice commands 999 times in 1000 but that one time out of a thousand they didn't would be the end of my career. I can attach tot a longs to all five walking kids and attach the other end of it to the front, back, and middle of the stroller on each side.

http://www.nanshouse.com/apps/photos...lbumid=7213977

If you look at this album you can see stroller pictures of how I attach the kids to the tot a long and the tot a long to the stroller.
This is exactly what we have/do. The babies go in the double stroller and the older ones have their own strap with one end tethered to the stroller. Everyone is allowed voluntarily hold on to the other end but if someone let's go or decides they won't follow the rules then they get the priviledge of having their end "secured" to their wrist.
Reply With Quote
  #25  
Old 12-11-2010, 03:47 AM
nannyde's Avatar
nannyde nannyde is offline
All powerful, all knowing daycare whisperer
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Des Moines
Posts: 6,299
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by misol View Post
This is exactly what we have/do. The babies go in the double stroller and the older ones have their own strap with one end tethered to the stroller. Everyone is allowed voluntarily hold on to the other end but if someone let's go or decides they won't follow the rules then they get the priviledge of having their end "secured" to their wrist.
We don't allow that. They are on their wrists in the summer and on their coat sleeve in the winter. We don't allow them to touch the hardware of the clasp or to unvelcro the half inch velcro that goes over the wrist.

We don't allow them to put them on or take them off. The ends of them are OFF limits. They try around two to finger the tips of the velcro but it's loud and you not so easy to do so we can correct that root behavior BEFORE it gets to them actually pulling the velcro up and away.

By the time they are four they could easily get it off but we don't allow them to do it even when it would be actually easier for us when we are back from the walk and unloading everyone and returning to the play room. We NEVER want them to have the idea that they can mess with the wrists. Adults only.

The wrist closures are a "leave it" in my house. By us doing it they can only move away from the stroller when WE say. That keeps their mind waiting for when it's their turn to be unhooked instead of when they are going to bolt off into another direction cuz they see Tinkerbell's bright light in the dog house.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
time out, transportation, walking ropes

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:54 AM.



Daycare.com         Find A Daycare         List Your Daycare         Toys & Products                 About Us

Daycare.com
Please read our Disclaimer before continuing.

Topics pertain mainly to the following States:

Alabama Alaska Arizona Arkansas California Colorado Connecticut Delaware District of Columbia Florida Georgia Hawaii Idaho Illinois Indiana Iowa Kansas Kentucky Louisiana Maine Maryland Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota Mississippi Missouri Montana Nebraska Nevada New Hampshire New Jersey New Mexico New York North Carolina North Dakota Ohio Oklahoma Oregon Pennsylvania Rhode Island South Carolina South Dakota Tennessee Texas Utah Vermont Virginia Washington West Virginia Wisconsin Wyoming