Please Help Napping Issues

[lvt77]

I have a napping policy at my DC.
I operate 12 hour days and am the only one here
Nap time is 1-3 and the only time I get a break, eat lunch and catch up on cleaning...

The other day one of my dcp came to me and said i dont want my child napping any more... (btw this child is a handfu and is only 2) she wants her to go to bed at night at 6:00pm so she can have her own time to herself....

anyways......
I told her well i have a napping policy as you already know, but I can try to work something out....I also explained how important sleep is to a 2yr old, but that didnt matter...
So this was my suggestion....all kids will be required to lay down on a mat to rest...after 45 minutes if a child has not fallen asleep then I will pass out a book to them and allow them to quietly read....BTW right now all of my kids sleep.... They will get to keep their book as long as they can stay queitly on their mat and read. No distrubing the other kids....well this kid cant do this...
so then mom said well if she falls asleep, then no more than a 30min nap and wants me to wake her.... we have a shared sleeping space on mats so how do i do this without waking all the other kids.....

I dont know what to do........any suggestions what do you do?? am i being selfish for wanting a break while they are napping
??

[nikia]

Originally Posted by lvt77

I have a napping policy at my DC.
I operate 12 hour days and am the only one here
Nap time is 1-3 and the only time I get a break, eat lunch and catch up on cleaning...

The other day one of my dcp came to me and said i dont want my child napping any more... (btw this child is a handfu and is only 2) she wants her to go to bed at night at 6:00pm so she can have her own time to herself....

anyways......
I told her well i have a napping policy as you already know, but I can try to work something out....I also explained how important sleep is to a 2yr old, but that didnt matter...
So this was my suggestion....all kids will be required to lay down on a mat to rest...after 45 minutes if a child has not fallen asleep then I will pass out a book to them and allow them to quietly read....BTW right now all of my kids sleep.... They will get to keep their book as long as they can stay queitly on their mat and read. No distrubing the other kids....well this kid cant do this...
so then mom said well if she falls asleep, then no more than a 30min nap and wants me to wake her.... we have a shared sleeping space on mats so how do i do this without waking all the other kids.....

I dont know what to do........any suggestions what do you do?? am i being selfish for wanting a break while they are napping
??

Ummm heck no you are not being selfish. If anything the mom is, she doesnt see her child all day and then wants to be done with her by 6pm. That just makes me angry.

I would tell the mom I am sorry but she is two and she will take a nap, that is my policy. If she doesnt like it she can try and find somewhere that wouldnt require a nap but I know in my area most daycares do require a naptime.

Dont let yourself get burnt out because a parent doesnt want to spend time with thier child. And for heaven sakes she is only two it's not like shes 4.

[kitkat]

I can't imagine a 2 year old not napping. I don't wake kids up from nap early. They sleep until they wake on their own or I have to get them up b/c nap time is done. If you want to keep your policy as is, then that's what you need to tell dcm. If she doesn't like it, then she needs to look elsewhere. Naptime is sacred here. Everyone needs a rest, kids and provider alike.

[lvt77]

I guess I feel that I need to respect her wishes because this is one of my best clients...who has also brought me a lot of business and does a lot for me....very loyal

Of all of my kids this is the only one that I would not want to lose. I have a good relationship with the parents....

[nikia]

Originally Posted by lvt77

I guess I feel hesitant to not comply because this is one of my best clients...who has also brought me a lot of business and does a lot for me....very loyal

Of all of my kids this is the only one that I would not want to lose. I have a good relationship with the parents....

Then I think you have to decide if this is a battle you want to fight. I would not keep a child up, naptime is my only down time of the day. Like I said before she is 2, she is still growing and I am sure playing hard during the day, rest is important. If you dont want to lose her then you will probably have to do what the parent asks of you.

[nannyde]

Originally Posted by lvt77

The other day one of my dcp came to me and said i dont want my child napping any more... (btw this child is a handfu and is only 2) she wants her to go to bed at night at 6:00pm so she can have her own time to herself....

Well you have one thing going for you. The parent is being honest. She is telling you that she wants to make sure she gets an early and easy bed time and it's on you to make that happen. She doesn't like being around the kid when he is awake and she wants you to make sure she doesn't have to be. Keeping a two year old all day will definitely accomplish what she is after.

Best thing to do is to tell her you would be happy to do this and the no nap fee is an additional ten dollars per hour for the two hours of nap time. The money needs to be paid in advance on Friday for the upcoming week. She just needs to tell you how many hours per day she would like him to "no nap". Tell her you LOVE to make extra money and that you hope he starts the "no nap" plan soon.

She needs to learn that "easy and early" is EXPENSIVE.

[lvt77]

lol you made me laugh so hard.....
Tell her you LOVE to make extra money and that you hope he starts the "no nap" plan soon

[sahm2three]

Originally Posted by lvt77

I have a napping policy at my DC.
I operate 12 hour days and am the only one here
Nap time is 1-3 and the only time I get a break, eat lunch and catch up on cleaning...

The other day one of my dcp came to me and said i dont want my child napping any more... (btw this child is a handfu and is only 2) she wants her to go to bed at night at 6:00pm so she can have her own time to herself....

anyways......
I told her well i have a napping policy as you already know, but I can try to work something out....I also explained how important sleep is to a 2yr old, but that didnt matter...
So this was my suggestion....all kids will be required to lay down on a mat to rest...after 45 minutes if a child has not fallen asleep then I will pass out a book to them and allow them to quietly read....BTW right now all of my kids sleep.... They will get to keep their book as long as they can stay queitly on their mat and read. No distrubing the other kids....well this kid cant do this...
so then mom said well if she falls asleep, then no more than a 30min nap and wants me to wake her.... we have a shared sleeping space on mats so how do i do this without waking all the other kids.....

I dont know what to do........any suggestions what do you do?? am i being selfish for wanting a break while they are napping
??

Not being selfish at all. Nap time is break time. It's her kid, she needs to deal with her at night! Ask her if she would be willing to work a 12 hour day with NO breaks. I doubt she would!

[lvt77]

how does this letter sound starting out?

Since I am the only employee here, I have no one to relive me for a break. With working 12 plus hour days, I have to make time for myself to take a break and rejuvenate, take care of any necessary paperwork and clean. This is one of the reason there is a required napping policy.

[nannyde]

Originally Posted by lvt77

how does this letter sound starting out?

Since I am the only employee here, I have no one to relive me for a break. With working 12 plus hour days, I have to make time for myself to take a break and rejuvenate, take care of any necessary paperwork and clean. This is one of the reason there is a required napping policy.

Nope

All that does is give her room to give you suggestions on what to DO with him while you do the paperwork, break, etc. He's hard for HER to handle at night but since she's paying you for the time you really should be able to do that many hours straight.

The best way to cure it is to charge for it. Either that or have a "I don't provide services to children who don't NEED a full afternoon nap". If you have any variation of that... trying to get the parent to agree with the napping you will most likely be negotiating this a lot. Attaching money to it stops it really quick.

[Cat Herder]

Originally Posted by nannyde

Nope

All that does is give her room to give you suggestions on what to DO with him while you do the paperwork, break, etc. He's hard for HER to handle at night but since she's paying you for the time you really should be able to do that many hours straight.

The best way to cure it is to charge for it. Either that or have a "I don't provide services to children who don't NEED a full afternoon nap". If you have any variation of that... trying to get the parent to agree with the napping you will most likely be negotiating this a lot. Attaching money to it stops it really quick.

Could not agree more! Firm NO or a firm fee scale. Offer no wiggle room or you will be dancing to her tune from now on .

[Live and Learn]

Don't send the note....
Keep putting lil one down for the afternoon nap. If parent brings it up again emphasize just how very tired the child is and that every child goes down for an afternoon nap in your care.....then give the blank stare and awkward silence.

I don't like this parent and I haven't even met her!!! Who keeps a kid in daycare all day and then wants them in bed by 6:00?! That really chaps my hide!

Invite mom to use her lunch hour to remove her child from your care during rest time.

[sahm2three]

Originally Posted by Live and Learn

Don't send the note....
Keep putting lil one down for the afternoon nap. If parent brings it up again emphasize just how very tired the child is and that every child goes down for an afternoon nap in your care.....then give the blank stare and awkward silence.

I don't like this parent and I haven't even met her!!! Who keeps a kid in daycare all day and then wants them in bed by 6:00?! That really chaps my hide!

THIS!

AND, I have a few 2 year olds in care, and NONE of them would make it thru the day with no nap! They play HARD. Whether I allowed it or not, they would fall asleep! Some play so hard that they are falling asleep in their lunches!

[lvt77]

I tired telling DCM that she will have to lay down no matter what and guess what every time she falls asleep, but then she wants me to wake her......ugh WTH....
I told DCM that if the child falls asleep and always the first one to do so then obviously the child needs it.....Oh yeah and when the child gets woken up when not ready the child freaks out and acts as if the devil as possed them...lol NO JOKE... one time the child ran out of conrtol and threw their body into my sliding glass window...lucky nothing happened then....ugh what to do what to do..... I need to win this battle but politely

[legomom922]

I know what I would do in that case..12 hrs is crazy..I would give her a nap and not tell her.....

I have a 2.5 yr old 2 days a wk for 12 hrs, there is nooo way I would do that without a nap! And she naps really good too, 2-3 hrs, and she goes to bed at 8 and falls right to sleep.

Best client or not, you need your sanity, strength and energy, and you will get burned out quick if you allow this.

[AnythingsPossible]

I have had this situation before. Mom was convinced that child didn't need a nap during the day. I politely pointed out that state regulations require all children under the age of 5 to have a rest period, and if a child falls asleep during that rest period I will not wake them up. I also pointed out that nap time is the only break that I get during the day as I don't have a lunch break or any other type of break. She respected the requirements and how I handled them and we went from there.

[marniewon]

Originally Posted by nannyde

Well you have one thing going for you. The parent is being honest. She is telling you that she wants to make sure she gets an early and easy bed time and it's on you to make that happen. She doesn't like being around the kid when he is awake and she wants you to make sure she doesn't have to be. Keeping a two year old all day will definitely accomplish what she is after.

Best thing to do is to tell her you would be happy to do this and the no nap fee is an additional ten dollars per hour for the two hours of nap time. The money needs to be paid in advance on Friday for the upcoming week. She just needs to tell you how many hours per day she would like him to "no nap". Tell her you LOVE to make extra money and that you hope he starts the "no nap" plan soon.

She needs to learn that "easy and early" is EXPENSIVE.

This! They may be your best client, but how are you going to feel with no napping for the little one and no break for you? After a few days/weeks/months you will not be liking this family all that much!

I like the suggestion of offering mom to come pick up the child on her lunch hour during your nap time.

Also, I too would let her nap and not tell mom. or let mom know the child was up and fell asleep while playing.

The part about mom wanting to put the child to bed by 6pm really chaps my hide as well.

[lvt77]

good point.......
I dont allow pick up during napping hours as it disrupts the others from sleeping.

[nannyde]

Originally Posted by lvt77

I tired telling DCM that she will have to lay down no matter what and guess what every time she falls asleep, but then she wants me to wake her......ugh WTH....
I told DCM that if the child falls asleep and always the first one to do so then obviously the child needs it.....Oh yeah and when the child gets woken up when not ready the child freaks out and acts as if the devil as possed them...lol NO JOKE... one time the child ran out of conrtol and threw their body into my sliding glass window...lucky nothing happened then....ugh what to do what to do..... I need to win this battle but politely

Every provider goes thru this experience and you are the only one who can decide what works best for you. What providers really want is that they will be able to say words to the parent that will convince them that it is the best thing for the child to have a nap. In the end, the Mom isn't looking for best for the kid in the first place so appealing with that side of the argument just doesn't fly.

The Mom wants a YES today. She wants you to care for him the two hours in the afternoon to make it possible so that she doesn't have to during the two hours in the evening. Nothing you say or do is going to convince her that it's not best to have him go to bed shortly after he gets home so she can have her break. If she can get her break for free she's going to choose her break over your break.

Once you start negotiating it you will find that whatever you come up with now as a comprimise will not work very quickly because she wants him to go to bed right after he gets home. She wants me time. So you will end up renegotiating this because she will give you words that he isn't going to bed early at night even with the comprimise you guys came up with.

So you will comprimise again... and she will not STOP until the comprimise comes down to you keeping the kid up all day. So buckle up for this to be a running problem between you.

She doesn't believe it is impolite to ask you to do something for ten hours a day that she doesn't want for two/three hours a day. She will never have a problem with you not getting a break. She won't have a problem with his behavior from being overtired.

Either put a policy in your business that says that you don't provide services to kids who don't need a full afternoon nap, charge for the nap time up time, or allow the parents to decide the nap schedule.

The fee thing really works. You can be polite and say "the fee I'm charging you includes a two hour rest period from one till three. If he doesn't need the rest period then I have to charge an additional fee. The fee is ten dollars per hour. This will give me the funds to hire an assistant to cover nap time so I can have a break and do the things around the house that I need to do for when the kids get up".

You may feel they are your best clients but parents who purposely try to make sure they don't have awake time with their child are not good parents period. It's impossible for them to be good parents if they don't have day to day TIME with their child.

[MyAngels]

Originally Posted by nannyde

Every provider goes thru this experience and you are the only one who can decide what works best for you. What providers really want is that they will be able to say words to the parent that will convince them that it is the best thing for the child to have a nap. In the end, the Mom isn't looking for best for the kid in the first place so appealing with that side of the argument just doesn't fly.

The Mom wants a YES today. She wants you to care for him the two hours in the afternoon to make it possible so that she doesn't have to during the two hours in the evening. Nothing you say or do is going to convince her that it's not best to have him go to bed shortly after he gets home so she can have her break. If she can get her break for free she's going to choose her break over your break.

Once you start negotiating it you will find that whatever you come up with now as a comprimise will not work very quickly because she wants him to go to bed right after he gets home. She wants me time. So you will end up renegotiating this because she will give you words that he isn't going to bed early at night even with the comprimise you guys came up with.

So you will comprimise again... and she will not STOP until the comprimise comes down to you keeping the kid up all day. So buckle up for this to be a running problem between you.

She doesn't believe it is impolite to ask you to do something for ten hours a day that she doesn't want for two/three hours a day. She will never have a problem with you not getting a break. She won't have a problem with his behavior from being overtired.

Either put a policy in your business that says that you don't provide services to kids who don't need a full afternoon nap, charge for the nap time up time, or allow the parents to decide the nap schedule.

The fee thing really works. You can be polite and say "the fee I'm charging you includes a two hour rest period from one till three. If he doesn't need the rest period then I have to charge an additional fee. The fee is ten dollars per hour. This will give me the funds to hire an assistant to cover nap time so I can have a break and do the things around the house that I need to do for when the kids get up".

You may feel they are your best clients but parents who purposely try to make sure they don't have awake time with their child are not good parents period. It's impossible for them to be good parents if they don't have day to day TIME with their child.

Where's that "Like" button again?

At the end of the day, you decide what's best for your business and the children that are part of that business and any parent who doesn't respect the policies that you have in place don't fall under the category of "best clients." This is only my opinion, of course .

[countrymom]

Originally Posted by Live and Learn

Don't send the note....
Keep putting lil one down for the afternoon nap. If parent brings it up again emphasize just how very tired the child is and that every child goes down for an afternoon nap in your care.....then give the blank stare and awkward silence.

I don't like this parent and I haven't even met her!!! Who keeps a kid in daycare all day and then wants them in bed by 6:00?! That really chaps my hide!

thats what i was going to say. DON'T SEND A NOTE. keep putting her down and let mom deal with her at night, thats not your problem, and if mom says anything then tell her that she's probably overtired and doesn't know how to settle down. I'll be darn if I have to work all day and get no break.
also, mom has to look at it this way--take me for example, kids are here till 5pm so when they go home my own 4 are here and they go to sleep at 9pm so when would I get anything done, at midnight. thats sad that mom doesn't want to spend anytime with her kid

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by nannyde

every provider goes thru this experience and you are the only one who can decide what works best for you. What providers really want is that they will be able to say words to the parent that will convince them that it is the best thing for the child to have a nap. In the end, the mom isn't looking for best for the kid in the first place so appealing with that side of the argument just doesn't fly.

The mom wants a yes today. She wants you to care for him the two hours in the afternoon to make it possible so that she doesn't have to during the two hours in the evening. Nothing you say or do is going to convince her that it's not best to have him go to bed shortly after he gets home so she can have her break. If she can get her break for free she's going to choose her break over your break.

Once you start negotiating it you will find that whatever you come up with now as a comprimise will not work very quickly because she wants him to go to bed right after he gets home. She wants me time. So you will end up renegotiating this because she will give you words that he isn't going to bed early at night even with the comprimise you guys came up with.

So you will comprimise again... And she will not stop until the comprimise comes down to you keeping the kid up all day. So buckle up for this to be a running problem between you.

She doesn't believe it is impolite to ask you to do something for ten hours a day that she doesn't want for two/three hours a day. She will never have a problem with you not getting a break. She won't have a problem with his behavior from being overtired.

Either put a policy in your business that says that you don't provide services to kids who don't need a full afternoon nap, charge for the nap time up time, or allow the parents to decide the nap schedule.

The fee thing really works. You can be polite and say "the fee i'm charging you includes a two hour rest period from one till three. If he doesn't need the rest period then i have to charge an additional fee. The fee is ten dollars per hour. This will give me the funds to hire an assistant to cover nap time so i can have a break and do the things around the house that i need to do for when the kids get up".

You may feel they are your best clients but parents who purposely try to make sure they don't have awake time with their child are not good parents period. It's impossible for them to be good parents if they don't have day to day time with their child.

like!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[momma2girls]

All children nap here, or at least have the child have quiet time. All children under school aged will nap or be quiet for those 2 hrs. of break time, otherwise it will not work with the other children you have in nap. If they do not nap, they need to lay still and be quiet, so the others can nap.

[lvt77]

I could not agree more....I wish there were times that I could tell a parent how to......but we know we can't.

I really like your wording on the part about " The fee is ten dollars per hour. This will give me the funds to hire an assistant to cover nap time so i can have a break and do the things around the house that i need to do for when the kids get up".
I think that I will add that to my policy...