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Old 11-11-2013, 08:10 AM
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Default Families Not Prepared For Attending Daycare

I have logged out for privacy. I have been doing licensed daycare for over 15 years. But lately, I keep getting families that just aren't working out. Either the family is not prepared for blending into a group setting, the parents don't want their clothes dirty, or the parents want all sorts of special treatment for their child. I used to have families that worked out perfectly and never had problems getting and keeping kids for years. But lately, I have been going through kids every couple of weeks.

It seems like every new family I get lately is simply not prepared to handle going to daycare. I had a mom who breastfed. She knew that she was going to go out to work and not be a stay at home mom. She wanted to provide breast milk in bottles for daycare. Which is perfectly fine with me. But she never had anyone else other than the father and aunt (only for 2 days) feed the baby (3 months old) before attending daycare. So of course, the baby would not take the bottle from me. The baby would go all day long without eating at all! I watched the baby for a few days and called the mom each day to get her to pick up early to feed her baby. I simply couldn't bring myself to let the baby go all day without eating. After a couple of days, I told the mom that I couldn't keep watching the baby because he wouldn't eat.

I had a mom who raised her 1 year old to sleep all day and be up all night. Her sister decided that she needed to get a job and put the child in daycare. So they went from having the child sleep all day to being in daycare and me keeping her up all day ( except for naptime after lunch). They are mad at me because the child falls asleep at dinner time. I told them that they have to give the child time to adjust to a new sleeping pattern. They just fussed at me about her being tired.

I have had a few kids lately whose parents allow them to drink and eat all throughout the day at home. So when they come for the interview, I tell them that their child will not be allowed to do so here and that their child will be served their breakfast, lunch, and snack and that after meal time, the food and drinks will be cleared away. They will not be allowed to constantly drink and eat here. So the parents, after a few days are fussing at me because their child is hungry and thirsty when they go home. Of course they are! First of all, they are used to nibbling and drinking CONSTANTLY all day long (which is not healthy for them) and secondly, the child had snack at 3. The parents pick up at 5:30 and get home around 6 (3 hours after snack) so of course the child is going to be hungry and thirsty when they get home.

I have had parents who throw a fit if their child gets a speck of dirt on their clothes or skin their knee on the sidewalk. The children are supposed to be able to play outside. Which includes running and occasionally falling on the sidewalk which results in a skinned knee. They play outside in the grass area which also has dirt under the grass, so, when the child falls or sits down, they are going to occasionally get a grass stain and/or dirt on their clothes. But the parents flip out over these things!

Then there's the families that want special treatment. Things such as 'can you write down everything he eats and drinks, every time you change a diaper/every time he goes to the bathroom and note whether he peed or pooped, which children he played with and what things he played with, he will tell you when he's hungry and thirsty, so just feed him and give him drinks whenever he lets you know he needs them, he likes this food and doesn't like that food, if you serve him a meal and he says he doesn't like it or doesn't eat enough, you can just ask him what he wants you to make to replace what he didn't want to eat, here's his special blanket he has to carry around with him all day, and I want you to make sure no one else touches it or he will get upset, I want him to watch television/I don't want him to watch television, etc.

And of course, there's the parents that coddle their children obsessively up to the age 5! The parent babies their child so much that the child literally emotionally can't handle leaving mommy and daddy. The child cries throughout the day for weeks for the parents because they are used to being held, coddled, and doted on all day and night by their parents. The parents have told me that one or the other is constantly entertaining, holding, sitting with, laying down for naptime and bedtime with the child or the child sleeps in the bed with the parents every night. I have actually had parents who tell me that they want me to lay down beside their child and rub their child's hair until he falls asleep! NOOO!!! I can NOT lay down beside your child!!!

It just seems like the parents think I am a personal nanny or something. And it is obvious that their child rules the house at home and they expect me to allow their child to rule the daycare!


These are the types of families I have gotten in the past year or so. I used to get families that were prepared to enter a group daycare setting and the families would stay with me for years. However, in the past year or so, I haven't been able to get many families that are ready to enter daycare.

Do any of you get families like these? Do you keep them in your care? Do you make special changes as per their requests? Or do you basically tell them that they might not be a good fit for your childcare and let them go elsewhere?
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Old 11-11-2013, 08:20 AM
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Yes, I am having those issues also, after 22 years of providing childcare I am seeing a lot of new things.

I also have a dcm that did not get her child ready for daycare with bottles. She brought him to me at 9 mos thinking that me pouring the milk into his mouth out of a sippy with no stopper would work out just fine. And then she is all worried that he is not getting enough milk during the day. Well, no kidding! I told her to get him used to a bottle. The worst part is that I am not bonding with the child at all because neither one of us are enjoying this pouring/gulping routine. Why couldn't she just get him used to a bottle???

I also have kids bringing TONS of junk they need to soothe themselves. Like not one blanket but two blankets, and teddy bears and all this other junk they do not need.

And when did 3yos stop being able to get their own shoes and coats on?

Kids are just so coddled and babied anymore it's a wonder they can breathe on their own!
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Old 11-11-2013, 08:20 AM
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I have logged out for privacy. I have been doing licensed daycare for over 15 years. But lately, I keep getting families that just aren't working out. Either the family is not prepared for blending into a group setting, the parents don't want their clothes dirty, or the parents want all sorts of special treatment for their child. I used to have families that worked out perfectly and never had problems getting and keeping kids for years. But lately, I have been going through kids every couple of weeks.

It seems like every new family I get lately is simply not prepared to handle going to daycare. I had a mom who breastfed. She knew that she was going to go out to work and not be a stay at home mom. She wanted to provide breast milk in bottles for daycare. Which is perfectly fine with me. But she never had anyone else other than the father and aunt (only for 2 days) feed the baby (3 months old) before attending daycare. So of course, the baby would not take the bottle from me. The baby would go all day long without eating at all! I watched the baby for a few days and called the mom each day to get her to pick up early to feed her baby. I simply couldn't bring myself to let the baby go all day without eating. After a couple of days, I told the mom that I couldn't keep watching the baby because he wouldn't eat.

I had a mom who raised her 1 year old to sleep all day and be up all night. Her sister decided that she needed to get a job and put the child in daycare. So they went from having the child sleep all day to being in daycare and me keeping her up all day ( except for naptime after lunch). They are mad at me because the child falls asleep at dinner time. I told them that they have to give the child time to adjust to a new sleeping pattern. They just fussed at me about her being tired.

I have had a few kids lately whose parents allow them to drink and eat all throughout the day at home. So when they come for the interview, I tell them that their child will not be allowed to do so here and that their child will be served their breakfast, lunch, and snack and that after meal time, the food and drinks will be cleared away. They will not be allowed to constantly drink and eat here. So the parents, after a few days are fussing at me because their child is hungry and thirsty when they go home. Of course they are! First of all, they are used to nibbling and drinking CONSTANTLY all day long (which is not healthy for them) and secondly, the child had snack at 3. The parents pick up at 5:30 and get home around 6 (3 hours after snack) so of course the child is going to be hungry and thirsty when they get home.

I have had parents who throw a fit if their child gets a speck of dirt on their clothes or skin their knee on the sidewalk. The children are supposed to be able to play outside. Which includes running and occasionally falling on the sidewalk which results in a skinned knee. They play outside in the grass area which also has dirt under the grass, so, when the child falls or sits down, they are going to occasionally get a grass stain and/or dirt on their clothes. But the parents flip out over these things!

Then there's the families that want special treatment. Things such as 'can you write down everything he eats and drinks, every time you change a diaper/every time he goes to the bathroom and note whether he peed or pooped, which children he played with and what things he played with, he will tell you when he's hungry and thirsty, so just feed him and give him drinks whenever he lets you know he needs them, he likes this food and doesn't like that food, if you serve him a meal and he says he doesn't like it or doesn't eat enough, you can just ask him what he wants you to make to replace what he didn't want to eat, here's his special blanket he has to carry around with him all day, and I want you to make sure no one else touches it or he will get upset, I want him to watch television/I don't want him to watch television, etc.

And of course, there's the parents that coddle their children obsessively up to the age 5! The parent babies their child so much that the child literally emotionally can't handle leaving mommy and daddy. The child cries throughout the day for weeks for the parents because they are used to being held, coddled, and doted on all day and night by their parents. The parents have told me that one or the other is constantly entertaining, holding, sitting with, laying down for naptime and bedtime with the child or the child sleeps in the bed with the parents every night. I have actually had parents who tell me that they want me to lay down beside their child and rub their child's hair until he falls asleep! NOOO!!! I can NOT lay down beside your child!!!

It just seems like the parents think I am a personal nanny or something. And it is obvious that their child rules the house at home and they expect me to allow their child to rule the daycare!


These are the types of families I have gotten in the past year or so. I used to get families that were prepared to enter a group daycare setting and the families would stay with me for years. However, in the past year or so, I haven't been able to get many families that are ready to enter daycare.

Do any of you get families like these? Do you keep them in your care? Do you make special changes as per their requests? Or do you basically tell them that they might not be a good fit for your childcare and let them go elsewhere?
I don't have these problems myself but I am very very detailed at interview.

No, they don't get special. I tell them how I run my daycare and explain that my house, my rules, my schedule and they have to blend into that. If they want special they can hire a nanny.

I really think the interview process weeds out a lot of these problem families.

Of course it's not 100% but it's pretty close.
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Old 11-11-2013, 08:23 AM
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Welcome to today's parenting.

Yes, I get families like this too. I simply make sure I am clear about my rules and expectations and then hold the parents to them.

If they leave over it, then they leave. I know that sucks sometimes because that means loss of income but honestly my own values, ethics and morals do NOT allow for me to continue being part of something I simply don't believe in or don't support.

I will NOT cater to one child and/or one family. Best case scenario, ALL providers will feel the same and eventually the family that suffers from this kind of entitlement learns that not everyone feels that they are "special".

Worst case scenario, another provider will take them and bend or cave to their special requests....which does nothing to help teach the family that they aren't the only ones on this earth, but I guess that's ok with me because they aren't MY problem...kwim?

The interviewing process is THE biggest aspect of my program. In my opinion it sets the stage right up front for what my working relationship with a family will or won't be.

If the family makes it through the interview and the two week trial period, it is usually all good after that.

Hang in there. Daycare is changing. Parenting is changing. Human beings are changing.

You have two choices. Adapt methods and ways of dealing with these issues or cave and just accept it as it is.

I choose to adapt and find ways to deal so that I can still get up and go to work every day with some like or willingness towards my job.

((((hugs))))
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Old 11-11-2013, 08:38 AM
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I do go over it all during the interview. My interview is at least an hour. Typically up to 2 hours. I am overly informative about all my rules, ways of operating my daycare and our routine. Often, the parents will tell me how they are at home and I tell them on the interview how I will handle that situation at daycare. For example they will tell me the child is allowed to eat and drink whenever they want. So I will tell them on the interview that their child will get food and drink only at meal time here and then the food and drink will be picked up and they have to wait for the next meal to be served. Except when it is really hot and we are outside, then I allow them water throughout the time we are outside and when we come back inside we get a drink.

But even though we discuss everything at the interview, when the child is going through the adjustment period getting used to my way vs. the parents way, the parents get mad and won't give the child or themselves the time needed to adjust.
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Old 11-11-2013, 08:41 AM
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I do go over it all during the interview. My interview is at least an hour. Typically up to 2 hours. I am overly informative about all my rules, ways of operating my daycare and our routine. Often, the parents will tell me how they are at home and I tell them on the interview how I will handle that situation at daycare. For example they will tell me the child is allowed to eat and drink whenever they want. So I will tell them on the interview that their child will get food and drink only at meal time here and then the food and drink will be picked up and they have to wait for the next meal to be served. Except when it is really hot and we are outside, then I allow them water throughout the time we are outside and when we come back inside we get a drink.

But even though we discuss everything at the interview, when the child is going through the adjustment period getting used to my way vs. the parents way, the parents get mad and won't give the child or themselves the time needed to adjust.
Maybe that's the issue?? If a parent tells me they do things x way and it's a major deal, then they may not be a good fit for my program.

For instance, on breasted babies. I explain they have to have them bottle trained before starting. And I make them prove that to me at interview. I'll require a second interview and ask them to bring a bottle and the baby and I'll ask them to prove it.

Another for instance, if they tell me they lay down with their child for naps, that's a red flag.

If parents have a lot of red flags at interview, they may not be the right fit for my program.
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Old 11-11-2013, 08:45 AM
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I do go over it all during the interview. My interview is at least an hour. Typically up to 2 hours. I am overly informative about all my rules, ways of operating my daycare and our routine. Often, the parents will tell me how they are at home and I tell them on the interview how I will handle that situation at daycare. For example they will tell me the child is allowed to eat and drink whenever they want. So I will tell them on the interview that their child will get food and drink only at meal time here and then the food and drink will be picked up and they have to wait for the next meal to be served. Except when it is really hot and we are outside, then I allow them water throughout the time we are outside and when we come back inside we get a drink.

But even though we discuss everything at the interview, when the child is going through the adjustment period getting used to my way vs. the parents way, the parents get mad and won't give the child or themselves the time needed to adjust.
Call them out on it.

"Sally, this is all stuff we discussed during the interview. ALL things you said you understood and agreed to. I am not understanding what the issue is now?"

Then leave the ball in their court. IF they continue to complain, offer them two choices.....find care that will cater to their needs or you will happily raise their rate so you can hire an assistant to meet their requests.

Interviewing definitely helps weed out the ones who aren't a good fit but a lot of them (especially the ones who agree but then don't do it) slip through and in those cases, you really just have to be upfront and open...

I do that by calling them out on what they agreed to and are now complaining about.

I also ask them for a solution...I NEVER offer one myself.

The minute they say "well give him food whenever he wants" I say, "Sure! But I'll have to hire someone to supervise the other kids who want their own special schedule too and that means raising rates for everyone. I'll do this tomorrow okay?"

If raising rates is ALWAYS the answer, you'll be amazed at how fast they begin to see things from your perspective and adjust.
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Old 11-11-2013, 08:46 AM
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At least I now know it's not just me. I keep wondering why parents like this are drawn to me. But I guess it's not just me that gets parents like this.

I typically tell the parent that I will wean the child into my way of doing things, but the parents just won't allow the adjustment period and I lose the child or I realize that it will take too long for the family to adjust and I stop watching the child.

Yeah, I have been noticing that more and more parents are allowing the children to give the orders at home and the parents do whatever makes the kids happy. They are in for a real shock once their child goes to kindergarten or 1st grade! I have read lately about the large amounts of children that are expelled/kicked out of daycare nowadays. So I should realize that it's not just me.
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Old 11-11-2013, 08:48 AM
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At least I now know it's not just me. I keep wondering why parents like this are drawn to me. But I guess it's not just me that gets parents like this.

I typically tell the parent that I will wean the child into my way of doing things, but the parents just won't allow the adjustment period and I lose the child or I realize that it will take too long for the family to adjust and I stop watching the child.

Yeah, I have been noticing that more and more parents are allowing the children to give the orders at home and the parents do whatever makes the kids happy. They are in for a real shock once their child goes to kindergarten or 1st grade! I have read lately about the large amounts of children that are expelled/kicked out of daycare nowadays. So I should realize that it's not just me.
It's not just you but I realized a long time ago, SOME things, situations, and children just can't be weaned or adjusted into my program.
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Old 11-11-2013, 08:51 AM
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Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
At least I now know it's not just me. I keep wondering why parents like this are drawn to me. But I guess it's not just me that gets parents like this.

I typically tell the parent that I will wean the child into my way of doing things, but the parents just won't allow the adjustment period and I lose the child or I realize that it will take too long for the family to adjust and I stop watching the child.

Yeah, I have been noticing that more and more parents are allowing the children to give the orders at home and the parents do whatever makes the kids happy. They are in for a real shock once their child goes to kindergarten or 1st grade! I have read lately about the large amounts of children that are expelled/kicked out of daycare nowadays. So I should realize that it's not just me.
It's not just you!! I also have a pretty detailed contract/ interview process to weed out the "crazies" and I still got the kids who don't nap (and parents who didn't think it was a big deal) or who want special and discounts. And of course, I'm the one who is "unreasonable" because I won't be a doormat...
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Old 11-11-2013, 08:55 AM
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I think I will stop taking families that have too many differences in raising children from the way I do. I have told a handful of parents on interviews that I think they would be better with a nanny going to their house or figuring out a way for the mom to stay home with their child because they have so many special requests. I guess I will have to tell that to more families.

For the parents that I think might work, if problems like this arise, I could tell them that I will dote on their child as long as I can get my assistant to work full time, which would require me raising the rate and see what happens.
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Old 11-11-2013, 09:02 AM
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Thank you all for discussing this with me. I really was getting discouraged, but I feel a lot better now.
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Old 11-11-2013, 09:26 AM
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I have logged out for privacy. I have been doing licensed daycare for over 15 years. But lately, I keep getting families that just aren't working out. Either the family is not prepared for blending into a group setting, the parents don't want their clothes dirty, or the parents want all sorts of special treatment for their child. I used to have families that worked out perfectly and never had problems getting and keeping kids for years. But lately, I have been going through kids every couple of weeks.

It seems like every new family I get lately is simply not prepared to handle going to daycare. I had a mom who breastfed. She knew that she was going to go out to work and not be a stay at home mom. She wanted to provide breast milk in bottles for daycare. Which is perfectly fine with me. But she never had anyone else other than the father and aunt (only for 2 days) feed the baby (3 months old) before attending daycare. So of course, the baby would not take the bottle from me. The baby would go all day long without eating at all! I watched the baby for a few days and called the mom each day to get her to pick up early to feed her baby. I simply couldn't bring myself to let the baby go all day without eating. After a couple of days, I told the mom that I couldn't keep watching the baby because he wouldn't eat.

I had a mom who raised her 1 year old to sleep all day and be up all night. Her sister decided that she needed to get a job and put the child in daycare. So they went from having the child sleep all day to being in daycare and me keeping her up all day ( except for naptime after lunch). They are mad at me because the child falls asleep at dinner time. I told them that they have to give the child time to adjust to a new sleeping pattern. They just fussed at me about her being tired.

I have had a few kids lately whose parents allow them to drink and eat all throughout the day at home. So when they come for the interview, I tell them that their child will not be allowed to do so here and that their child will be served their breakfast, lunch, and snack and that after meal time, the food and drinks will be cleared away. They will not be allowed to constantly drink and eat here. So the parents, after a few days are fussing at me because their child is hungry and thirsty when they go home. Of course they are! First of all, they are used to nibbling and drinking CONSTANTLY all day long (which is not healthy for them) and secondly, the child had snack at 3. The parents pick up at 5:30 and get home around 6 (3 hours after snack) so of course the child is going to be hungry and thirsty when they get home.

I have had parents who throw a fit if their child gets a speck of dirt on their clothes or skin their knee on the sidewalk. The children are supposed to be able to play outside. Which includes running and occasionally falling on the sidewalk which results in a skinned knee. They play outside in the grass area which also has dirt under the grass, so, when the child falls or sits down, they are going to occasionally get a grass stain and/or dirt on their clothes. But the parents flip out over these things!

Then there's the families that want special treatment. Things such as 'can you write down everything he eats and drinks, every time you change a diaper/every time he goes to the bathroom and note whether he peed or pooped, which children he played with and what things he played with, he will tell you when he's hungry and thirsty, so just feed him and give him drinks whenever he lets you know he needs them, he likes this food and doesn't like that food, if you serve him a meal and he says he doesn't like it or doesn't eat enough, you can just ask him what he wants you to make to replace what he didn't want to eat, here's his special blanket he has to carry around with him all day, and I want you to make sure no one else touches it or he will get upset, I want him to watch television/I don't want him to watch television, etc.

And of course, there's the parents that coddle their children obsessively up to the age 5! The parent babies their child so much that the child literally emotionally can't handle leaving mommy and daddy. The child cries throughout the day for weeks for the parents because they are used to being held, coddled, and doted on all day and night by their parents. The parents have told me that one or the other is constantly entertaining, holding, sitting with, laying down for naptime and bedtime with the child or the child sleeps in the bed with the parents every night. I have actually had parents who tell me that they want me to lay down beside their child and rub their child's hair until he falls asleep! NOOO!!! I can NOT lay down beside your child!!!

It just seems like the parents think I am a personal nanny or something. And it is obvious that their child rules the house at home and they expect me to allow their child to rule the daycare!


These are the types of families I have gotten in the past year or so. I used to get families that were prepared to enter a group daycare setting and the families would stay with me for years. However, in the past year or so, I haven't been able to get many families that are ready to enter daycare.

Do any of you get families like these? Do you keep them in your care? Do you make special changes as per their requests? Or do you basically tell them that they might not be a good fit for your childcare and let them go elsewhere?
I second all this a hundred percent I, I'm just adding another big problem $ parents are cheap, they think they can negotiate my fees./ never had all this problems before in over ten years trying to register new families.
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Old 11-11-2013, 09:41 AM
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Yep, that's another thing. Some parents are trying to get me to accept the amount of pay I made 15 years ago! I understand that the economy is not in it's best condition, but I certainly deserve to make more than I made 15 years ago.

I have also noticed that while a parent is trying to get me to accept a much lower rate for child care, they have their nails done, perfect hair style, drive a nice car, their clothes and their kid's clothes are designer clothing, they have an I-phone, etc. I guess they can afford more upscale unnecessary items if they don't pay the typical rates for the necessary items in life.
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Old 11-11-2013, 01:11 PM
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You know what? I feel sorry for all the fictional nannies we all keep hiring...

Not kidding, though. I was a nanny once years ago for a wonderful family. Can you imagine being one now? Getting all the daycare rejects?

I'd like to hear from some "center people" about the whole rocking to sleep and schedule thing. We in the family daycare business all seem to get frustrated with it. How are we supposed to manage multiple children on different schedules with one person? But, how about center folks? Do you rock babies? Let them sleep on their own personal schedule?

Am I niave' in thinking that in a center, you work an 8 hour day and get a lunch break? Maybe even administrative time to do lesson planning? Is there a cleaning staff?

90% of family providers don't do "no nap" care, and try to get everyone on a consistent schedule (with exception to the littlest ones). So, if I put my foot down, I can guess that parents arent' going to the next FCC and getting what they want. I'm just curious about what a center would say.
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Old 11-11-2013, 01:24 PM
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I had a mom who seemed like a great fit, until day 1 when she brought me a 2 page letter with instructions on what to do and not to do... I don't just pop the kids in front of the TV but I have 3 boys who LOVE Mickey Mouse so once in awhile we watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse or if its a holiday they usually have a special 1 hour episode we'll watch. So this 11 month old could NOT be around TV AT ALL!! Yes, she even underlined and exclamationed it. She saw that I run my DC in my home mainly in the living room, which has a LARGE TV in it, dining room, kitchen area and back yard. She didn't think to ask me something during my interview that seemed SO important to her? I don't usually bring it up because none of my other DCPs have had a problem with the occasional Disney Jr or Sprout show. This mom was super high maintenance and I'm glad she ended up quitting her job and staying home. They were too much for me! I had another mom who wasn't ready to go back to work, and also quit her job to stay home after almost the exact same time frame as the parents above, about 6wks. Such a waste of my time!
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Old 11-11-2013, 01:26 PM
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Also- I don't negotiate pay. I find it extremely rude. I may offer a discount if say they come FT or want to pay monthly in full, but I won't discount for the sake of parents saving money at my expense. No thanks!
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Old 11-11-2013, 01:38 PM
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You know what? I feel sorry for all the fictional nannies we all keep hiring...

Not kidding, though. I was a nanny once years ago for a wonderful family. Can you imagine being one now? Getting all the daycare rejects?

I'd like to hear from some "center people" about the whole rocking to sleep and schedule thing. We in the family daycare business all seem to get frustrated with it. How are we supposed to manage multiple children on different schedules with one person? But, how about center folks? Do you rock babies? Let them sleep on their own personal schedule?

Am I niave' in thinking that in a center, you work an 8 hour day and get a lunch break? Maybe even administrative time to do lesson planning? Is there a cleaning staff?

90% of family providers don't do "no nap" care, and try to get everyone on a consistent schedule (with exception to the littlest ones). So, if I put my foot down, I can guess that parents arent' going to the next FCC and getting what they want. I'm just curious about what a center would say.
Finding staff to one.to one.one.baby.... holding and rocking is super easy. The other staff don't like it because they have to care for the rockers kids and theirs. If all the infant room staff plop in a rocker to keep one baby the rest of the babies get zero care.

The centers I consulted for had to pull out all the rockers because the conflict over who got to sit and rock babies was a constant battle.

It's common for parents to want one to one. It's common for babies to want one to one. It's common for staff to want to get by with doing one to one. It's difficult to find a business who is being paid a group rate to offer one to one.

Staff want to use motion equipment and don't want to move the baby out of it until the baby cries. If no one is watching they will.
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Old 11-11-2013, 01:52 PM
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I have logged out for privacy. I have been doing licensed daycare for over 15 years. But lately, I keep getting families that just aren't working out. Either the family is not prepared for blending into a group setting, the parents don't want their clothes dirty, or the parents want all sorts of special treatment for their child. I used to have families that worked out perfectly and never had problems getting and keeping kids for years. But lately, I have been going through kids every couple of weeks.

It seems like every new family I get lately is simply not prepared to handle going to daycare. I had a mom who breastfed. She knew that she was going to go out to work and not be a stay at home mom. She wanted to provide breast milk in bottles for daycare. Which is perfectly fine with me. But she never had anyone else other than the father and aunt (only for 2 days) feed the baby (3 months old) before attending daycare. So of course, the baby would not take the bottle from me. The baby would go all day long without eating at all! I watched the baby for a few days and called the mom each day to get her to pick up early to feed her baby. I simply couldn't bring myself to let the baby go all day without eating. After a couple of days, I told the mom that I couldn't keep watching the baby because he wouldn't eat.

I had a mom who raised her 1 year old to sleep all day and be up all night. Her sister decided that she needed to get a job and put the child in daycare. So they went from having the child sleep all day to being in daycare and me keeping her up all day ( except for naptime after lunch). They are mad at me because the child falls asleep at dinner time. I told them that they have to give the child time to adjust to a new sleeping pattern. They just fussed at me about her being tired.

I have had a few kids lately whose parents allow them to drink and eat all throughout the day at home. So when they come for the interview, I tell them that their child will not be allowed to do so here and that their child will be served their breakfast, lunch, and snack and that after meal time, the food and drinks will be cleared away. They will not be allowed to constantly drink and eat here. So the parents, after a few days are fussing at me because their child is hungry and thirsty when they go home. Of course they are! First of all, they are used to nibbling and drinking CONSTANTLY all day long (which is not healthy for them) and secondly, the child had snack at 3. The parents pick up at 5:30 and get home around 6 (3 hours after snack) so of course the child is going to be hungry and thirsty when they get home.

I have had parents who throw a fit if their child gets a speck of dirt on their clothes or skin their knee on the sidewalk. The children are supposed to be able to play outside. Which includes running and occasionally falling on the sidewalk which results in a skinned knee. They play outside in the grass area which also has dirt under the grass, so, when the child falls or sits down, they are going to occasionally get a grass stain and/or dirt on their clothes. But the parents flip out over these things!

Then there's the families that want special treatment. Things such as 'can you write down everything he eats and drinks, every time you change a diaper/every time he goes to the bathroom and note whether he peed or pooped, which children he played with and what things he played with, he will tell you when he's hungry and thirsty, so just feed him and give him drinks whenever he lets you know he needs them, he likes this food and doesn't like that food, if you serve him a meal and he says he doesn't like it or doesn't eat enough, you can just ask him what he wants you to make to replace what he didn't want to eat, here's his special blanket he has to carry around with him all day, and I want you to make sure no one else touches it or he will get upset, I want him to watch television/I don't want him to watch television, etc.

And of course, there's the parents that coddle their children obsessively up to the age 5! The parent babies their child so much that the child literally emotionally can't handle leaving mommy and daddy. The child cries throughout the day for weeks for the parents because they are used to being held, coddled, and doted on all day and night by their parents. The parents have told me that one or the other is constantly entertaining, holding, sitting with, laying down for naptime and bedtime with the child or the child sleeps in the bed with the parents every night. I have actually had parents who tell me that they want me to lay down beside their child and rub their child's hair until he falls asleep! NOOO!!! I can NOT lay down beside your child!!!

It just seems like the parents think I am a personal nanny or something. And it is obvious that their child rules the house at home and they expect me to allow their child to rule the daycare!


These are the types of families I have gotten in the past year or so. I used to get families that were prepared to enter a group daycare setting and the families would stay with me for years. However, in the past year or so, I haven't been able to get many families that are ready to enter daycare.

Do any of you get families like these? Do you keep them in your care? Do you make special changes as per their requests? Or do you basically tell them that they might not be a good fit for your childcare and let them go elsewhere?
It's the change of how people think. The self-entitlement complex people have. It's not like it used to be.
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  #20  
Old 11-11-2013, 02:16 PM
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Finding staff to one.to one.one.baby.... holding and rocking is super easy. The other staff don't like it because they have to care for the rockers kids and theirs. If all the infant room staff plop in a rocker to keep one baby the rest of the babies get zero care.

The centers I consulted for had to pull out all the rockers because the conflict over who got to sit and rock babies was a constant battle.

It's common for parents to want one to one. It's common for babies to want one to one. It's common for staff to want to get by with doing one to one. It's difficult to find a business who is being paid a group rate to offer one to one.

Staff want to use motion equipment and don't want to move the baby out of it until the baby cries. If no one is watching they will.
So, if I told a mom her 6 month old needs to get on "the schedule", and she decided that this wasn't ok with her, would she get personalized care at the local center? Knowing said center staff somewhat, I could totally see what you're saying in your statement. I'm just fairly certain that this is NOT what they will sell to the parents.
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  #21  
Old 11-11-2013, 02:18 PM
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permanentvacation permanentvacation is offline
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Heidi,

You asked to hear from center folks... I have worked in 3 centers. What they did was everyone in the entire center from age 1 and up slept the for the exact same nap time - right after lunch from 12-3. Every room played music the entire duration of nap time to lull and keep the children asleep. If a child didn't want to sleep, a teacher or aid patted their back until they fell asleep. On the very slim occasion that a teacher couldn't pat a child to sleep and they became noisy or moved around too much, they were sent to the office. Sometimes the assistant director/director would give the child a speech and send them back to class to take their nap, if it was obvious that the child was definitely not going to go to sleep, the child would stay in the office. But that almost NEVER happened. It was expected that the teacher/aid would pat the child to sleep no matter how long it took them.

The little babies under age 1 were encouraged to stay awake until the 12:00 naptime. Of course sometimes they would fall asleep while in the swing or being held/fed. However, they were NEVER put in the crib to sleep until the 12:00 nap time. The teacher/aid would let the baby sleep for a very short time and then wake them up and then make them sleep at the 12:00 naptime by patting them.

If a baby under age 1 was crying too much, someone would put the baby in a stroller and take them for a walk in the building or get someone in the office (the director/assistant director) hold the baby, or take the baby to the other baby room and have that teacher or aid hold the baby for a while.

With the older children ages 1 and up (to age 12), if there were any problems such as disturbing the class, fighting with the other kids, not listening to the teacher, anything that made it so the teacher was having a bit of trouble dealing with the child, the teacher would 'pass that child around the building'. They would go to the office for a while, or to another classroom, or go on a walk up and down the hallways with a teacher/aid/assistant director/director/cook.

Basically, if any child plucked the teacher's nerve, they were passed all around the building to all the employees.

They also NEVER kicked any child out of the daycare center. No matter how bad the child was, how many times the child was kicked out of their classroom for any reason, how much the child hated being in that daycare, or how much the child cried even if they cried all day long every day, they NEVER told the parent that the child had any problems. (You know, so they kept that income coming in!) Every day, at the end of the day, every child was in their correct classroom and when the parent picked the child up, every teacher/aid/director/cook told the parent that their child had a GREAT DAY! This is part of why I quit working there.

Also, keep in mind that the rooms were big enough that the teacher and aid could hang out in one side of the room chatting with each other and not even know that the kids were arguing/fighting/getting toys taken from them, etc. If a child came up and told on someone for something, the child was told to stop tattling and told to go play. So for the most part, the teachers weren't really bothered by the kids.

See, we, at home daycare are one person trying to do the job of up to 10 people. That center had a teacher and aid in each age group, a cook, a cleaning lady, a "floater" (a person that can relieve any teacher/aid for lunch, bathroom breaks, etc.) a finance manager, assistant director, and director plus a couple of substitutes for the teachers and aids.

Now, we do have less kids, so we don't need as many teachers and aids. However, overall, we are trying to do the job of multiple people. This is why I truly loved it when I had a full time assistant every day at my home daycare. I feel that I need to have time to be the director and place daycare ads, hold interviews, evaluate my daycare and come up with new ideas on how to improve my daycare, time to be the cook, as I do cook breakfast, lunch, and dinner for my children every day, time to be the cleaning lady, time to be the teacher, it would be nice to have a "floater" to relieve me at nap time so I could REALLY get a lunch break instead of having to work with whoever wakes up during nap.

So, us home providers are worn out because we are doing the work of MANY people every day, all day long!
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Old 11-11-2013, 02:27 PM
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Heidi,

You asked to hear from center folks... I have worked in 3 centers. What they did was everyone in the entire center from age 1 and up slept the for the exact same nap time - right after lunch from 12-3. Every room played music the entire duration of nap time to lull and keep the children asleep. If a child didn't want to sleep, a teacher or aid patted their back until they fell asleep. On the very slim occasion that a teacher couldn't pat a child to sleep and they became noisy or moved around too much, they were sent to the office. Sometimes the assistant director/director would give the child a speech and send them back to class to take their nap, if it was obvious that the child was definitely not going to go to sleep, the child would stay in the office. But that almost NEVER happened. It was expected that the teacher/aid would pat the child to sleep no matter how long it took them.

The little babies under age 1 were encouraged to stay awake until the 12:00 naptime. Of course sometimes they would fall asleep while in the swing or being held/fed. However, they were NEVER put in the crib to sleep until the 12:00 nap time. The teacher/aid would let the baby sleep for a very short time and then wake them up and then make them sleep at the 12:00 naptime by patting them.

If a baby under age 1 was crying too much, someone would put the baby in a stroller and take them for a walk in the building or get someone in the office (the director/assistant director) hold the baby, or take the baby to the other baby room and have that teacher or aid hold the baby for a while.

With the older children ages 1 and up (to age 12), if there were any problems such as disturbing the class, fighting with the other kids, not listening to the teacher, anything that made it so the teacher was having a bit of trouble dealing with the child, the teacher would 'pass that child around the building'. They would go to the office for a while, or to another classroom, or go on a walk up and down the hallways with a teacher/aid/assistant director/director/cook.

Basically, if any child plucked the teacher's nerve, they were passed all around the building to all the employees.

They also NEVER kicked any child out of the daycare center. No matter how bad the child was, how many times the child was kicked out of their classroom for any reason, how much the child hated being in that daycare, or how much the child cried even if they cried all day long every day, they NEVER told the parent that the child had any problems. (You know, so they kept that income coming in!) Every day, at the end of the day, every child was in their correct classroom and when the parent picked the child up, every teacher/aid/director/cook told the parent that their child had a GREAT DAY! This is part of why I quit working there.

Also, keep in mind that the rooms were big enough that the teacher and aid could hang out in one side of the room chatting with each other and not even know that the kids were arguing/fighting/getting toys taken from them, etc. If a child came up and told on someone for something, the child was told to stop tattling and told to go play. So for the most part, the teachers weren't really bothered by the kids.

See, we, at home daycare are one person trying to do the job of up to 10 people. That center had a teacher and aid in each age group, a cook, a cleaning lady, a "floater" (a person that can relieve any teacher/aid for lunch, bathroom breaks, etc.) a finance manager, assistant director, and director plus a couple of substitutes for the teachers and aids.

Now, we do have less kids, so we don't need as many teachers and aids. However, overall, we are trying to do the job of multiple people. This is why I truly loved it when I had a full time assistant every day at my home daycare. I feel that I need to have time to be the director and place daycare ads, hold interviews, evaluate my daycare and come up with new ideas on how to improve my daycare, time to be the cook, as I do cook breakfast, lunch, and dinner for my children every day, time to be the cleaning lady, time to be the teacher, it would be nice to have a "floater" to relieve me at nap time so I could REALLY get a lunch break instead of having to work with whoever wakes up during nap.

So, us home providers are worn out because we are doing the work of MANY people every day, all day long!


Thanks! You know I'm FCC, right? I have never worked in a center, although I have had my kids in 2 for short periods. Your answer was what I expected for most centers, to be honest (not all).
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Old 11-11-2013, 02:33 PM
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Heidi,

Yes, I know you are a family provider. I am too, have been for 25 years. But I have also worked in 3 centers about 5 or so years ago. When I moved back to Maryland from Florida. At first, I thought I would try to go out to work instead of opening my daycare again. But within a few months decided that I would much rather run my home daycare. While I was working on getting my new home daycare license, I went out to work at the centers. So I have an insider's view of both home daycare and daycare centers/preschools.
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Old 11-11-2013, 03:10 PM
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Heidi,

Yes, I know you are a family provider. I am too, have been for 25 years. But I have also worked in 3 centers about 5 or so years ago. When I moved back to Maryland from Florida. At first, I thought I would try to go out to work instead of opening my daycare again. But within a few months decided that I would much rather run my home daycare. While I was working on getting my new home daycare license, I went out to work at the centers. So I have an insider's view of both home daycare and daycare centers/preschools.
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Old 11-11-2013, 04:11 PM
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You know what? I feel sorry for all the fictional nannies we all keep hiring...

Not kidding, though. I was a nanny once years ago for a wonderful family. Can you imagine being one now? Getting all the daycare rejects?

I'd like to hear from some "center people" about the whole rocking to sleep and schedule thing. We in the family daycare business all seem to get frustrated with it. How are we supposed to manage multiple children on different schedules with one person? But, how about center folks? Do you rock babies? Let them sleep on their own personal schedule?

Am I niave' in thinking that in a center, you work an 8 hour day and get a lunch break? Maybe even administrative time to do lesson planning? Is there a cleaning staff?

90% of family providers don't do "no nap" care, and try to get everyone on a consistent schedule (with exception to the littlest ones). So, if I put my foot down, I can guess that parents arent' going to the next FCC and getting what they want. I'm just curious about what a center would say.
In my centers, the ladies do rock the babies. But all babies are trained to fall asleep on their own. Sometimes a baby is extra fussy and it helps to calm them. We have 2 ladies with 7 babies (5:1 ratio) so it can be done. As far as special parents, we have been getting a lot of kids that have never been anywhere without parents/grandparents. They have been indulged since birth and then suddenly thrown in with 10-15 other children. They are no longer the center of the universe and they have a very hard time in daycare. The parents don't understand that Susie can't be super special and get frustrated then mad because we can't/won't do all of the "special" they want.

We do work 9 hr days with a lunch break and we use nap time and/or home time to do lesson plans. We also use nap time to clean. But it seems like I spend more time wiping down than playing with my kids. I will say though that teachers have control of their class. If a parent comes in with a crazy request, we take it to the Director. If the request can't be accommodated, then we have the the right to say no. Such as no nap or Susie's to sick to go out side.
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Old 11-11-2013, 04:19 PM
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Heidi,

You asked to hear from center folks... I have worked in 3 centers. What they did was everyone in the entire center from age 1 and up slept the for the exact same nap time - right after lunch from 12-3. Every room played music the entire duration of nap time to lull and keep the children asleep. If a child didn't want to sleep, a teacher or aid patted their back until they fell asleep. On the very slim occasion that a teacher couldn't pat a child to sleep and they became noisy or moved around too much, they were sent to the office. Sometimes the assistant director/director would give the child a speech and send them back to class to take their nap, if it was obvious that the child was definitely not going to go to sleep, the child would stay in the office. But that almost NEVER happened. It was expected that the teacher/aid would pat the child to sleep no matter how long it took them.

The little babies under age 1 were encouraged to stay awake until the 12:00 naptime. Of course sometimes they would fall asleep while in the swing or being held/fed. However, they were NEVER put in the crib to sleep until the 12:00 nap time. The teacher/aid would let the baby sleep for a very short time and then wake them up and then make them sleep at the 12:00 naptime by patting them.

If a baby under age 1 was crying too much, someone would put the baby in a stroller and take them for a walk in the building or get someone in the office (the director/assistant director) hold the baby, or take the baby to the other baby room and have that teacher or aid hold the baby for a while.

With the older children ages 1 and up (to age 12), if there were any problems such as disturbing the class, fighting with the other kids, not listening to the teacher, anything that made it so the teacher was having a bit of trouble dealing with the child, the teacher would 'pass that child around the building'. They would go to the office for a while, or to another classroom, or go on a walk up and down the hallways with a teacher/aid/assistant director/director/cook.

Basically, if any child plucked the teacher's nerve, they were passed all around the building to all the employees.

They also NEVER kicked any child out of the daycare center. No matter how bad the child was, how many times the child was kicked out of their classroom for any reason, how much the child hated being in that daycare, or how much the child cried even if they cried all day long every day, they NEVER told the parent that the child had any problems. (You know, so they kept that income coming in!) Every day, at the end of the day, every child was in their correct classroom and when the parent picked the child up, every teacher/aid/director/cook told the parent that their child had a GREAT DAY! This is part of why I quit working there.

Also, keep in mind that the rooms were big enough that the teacher and aid could hang out in one side of the room chatting with each other and not even know that the kids were arguing/fighting/getting toys taken from them, etc. If a child came up and told on someone for something, the child was told to stop tattling and told to go play. So for the most part, the teachers weren't really bothered by the kids.

See, we, at home daycare are one person trying to do the job of up to 10 people. That center had a teacher and aid in each age group, a cook, a cleaning lady, a "floater" (a person that can relieve any teacher/aid for lunch, bathroom breaks, etc.) a finance manager, assistant director, and director plus a couple of substitutes for the teachers and aids.

Now, we do have less kids, so we don't need as many teachers and aids. However, overall, we are trying to do the job of multiple people. This is why I truly loved it when I had a full time assistant every day at my home daycare. I feel that I need to have time to be the director and place daycare ads, hold interviews, evaluate my daycare and come up with new ideas on how to improve my daycare, time to be the cook, as I do cook breakfast, lunch, and dinner for my children every day, time to be the cleaning lady, time to be the teacher, it would be nice to have a "floater" to relieve me at nap time so I could REALLY get a lunch break instead of having to work with whoever wakes up during nap.

So, us home providers are worn out because we are doing the work of MANY people every day, all day long!
Nap time is the same way for us with exception of infants. I do agree with centers not wanting to throw troubling kids out because of money. My center has learned the hard way that it's not worth the money to keep one child if 7 others are leaving because of that one child. Now we have a plan that puts the parent on notice about their child's behavior. Three strikes and you're out.

Somethings are easier for us because of a bigger staff but I envy you for being able to pick and choose who you allow in your home.
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Old 11-11-2013, 05:48 PM
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nannyde nannyde is offline
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So, if I told a mom her 6 month old needs to get on "the schedule", and she decided that this wasn't ok with her, would she get personalized care at the local center? Knowing said center staff somewhat, I could totally see what you're saying in your statement. I'm just fairly certain that this is NOT what they will sell to the parents.
Honestly I don't think about what a center would offer. The difference between me and the centers is that I love their kid. I think about their kid night and day. I try to figure out every nook and cranny of their needs. I try to raise them to be outstanding humans. I care... a lot.

The schedule is for me. I need it. I have a lot of experience and I know what it takes to get all of us thru the day, week, month, year. I know what's best in my home... in my group. I don't expect parents to understand. They have one kid and five minutes of experience. They don't take care of other people's kids. I do.
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Old 11-11-2013, 07:41 PM
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... their child will be served their breakfast, lunch, and snack and that after meal time, the food and drinks will be cleared away. They will not be allowed to constantly drink and eat here. So the parents, after a few days are fussing at me because their child is hungry and thirsty when they go home.
I know this isn't what you're posting about, and maybe people have brought it up already. I haven't read the other responses.

I strongly believe that kids (people of all ages, actually) should have access to water ALL. DAY. LONG. At their fingertips whenever they want it. I have a dedicated cup per child per day that has their name on it, and I keep it filled the entire time they are present. They are welcome to grab it and drink their water whenever they please.

Do you feel that kids should only drink at snack and lunch? I'm not criticizing, but I read that and couldn't overlook it.

And I hear you loud and clear on certain parents not 'getting' the concept of group care. I've had moms of potty training kids ask me to sit them on the potty every 20 minutes. Um... that would be no. There are many more examples similar to the ones you've mentioned. They just don't get it.
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Old 11-11-2013, 07:45 PM
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I know this isn't what you're posting about, and maybe people have brought it up already. I haven't read the other responses.

I strongly believe that kids (people of all ages, actually) should have access to water ALL. DAY. LONG. At their fingertips whenever they want it. I have a dedicated cup per child per day that has their name on it, and I keep it filled the entire time they are present. They are welcome to grab it and drink their water whenever they please.

Do you feel that kids should only drink at snack and lunch? I'm not criticizing, but I read that and couldn't overlook it.

And I hear you loud and clear on certain parents not 'getting' the concept of group care. I've had moms of potty training kids ask me to sit them on the potty every 20 minutes. Um... that would be no. There are many more examples similar to the ones you've mentioned. They just don't get it.
My daycare kids and my own personal kids only get drinks and food at meals and snacks. UNLESS it's hot outside, then they get water outside and after we come inside etc.

In kindy they don't have a cup full of water at their disposal all day. And really, they don't need 100 oz of liquid all day either.

I think it's awesome that you are sure yours get enough fluid, but personally it has been recommended to me that kids need boundaries, even with food and drink. Here's a time for it and a time they don't get it.

Recommended fluid total intake a day for a healthy child is approximately 44 oz total per day. That includes water found in the food they eat, as well as water in heir milk etc. our pediatrician recommends milk for meals and water for snacks with plain water intake of 8-12 oz per day. Unless they are sick, etc. they get 8-12 oz of water at snack times so no extra is needed unless it's hot outside or they are sick. Also, my son, if he gets too much water, simply won't eat.

If I had a cup sitting around for every child I'd have a germ fest. I'd spend all day keeping x cup away from y and oh no, did I turn my back and another kid slobbered on y cup. Not to mention spills etc. I think it just teaches them instant gratification and they don't have to wait for anything.

But kudos to those who do that though!!
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Old 11-11-2013, 07:54 PM
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My daycare kids and my own personal kids only get drinks and food at meals and snacks. UNLESS it's hot outside, then they get water outside and after we come inside etc.

In kindy they don't have a cup full of water at their disposal all day. And really, they don't need 100 oz of liquid all day either.

I think it's awesome that you are sure yours get enough fluid, but personally it has been recommended to me that kids need boundaries, even with food and drink. Here's a time for it and a time they don't get it.
They don't have access ON THEIR DESK at Kinder, but I'll betcha if they raise their hand and tell Teacher they're thirsty, Teacher will see that they get water. Obviously if a kid starts working the teacher, she'll say "wait till recess/potty break/whatever".

Trust me, we don't drink 16 ounces, let alone 100. I realize you were exaggerating lol. But that's one of the reasons I have the water out at all times. They don't drink enough!

I should add that my DC kids are ages 5-10, but I have always had cups ready and available for 2+ (sippy cups until I feel they're ready to move on up). And they cannot move it from where it lives. I put them on the end cap of my kitchen counter. They drink there, and put the cup back in its spot.

I don't know.... I just feel like it's a basic need, ya know? I would never withhold it. I've never had a parent ask me to limit water, but I've had many, many, many ask me to push or encourage it.
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Old 11-11-2013, 07:57 PM
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They don't have access ON THEIR DESK at Kinder, but I'll betcha if they raise their hand and tell Teacher they're thirsty, Teacher will see that they get water. Obviously if a kid starts working the teacher, she'll say "wait till recess/potty break/whatever".

Trust me, we don't drink 16 ounces, let alone 100. I realize you were exaggerating lol. But that's one of the reasons I have the water out at all times. They don't drink enough!

I should add that my DC kids are ages 5-10, but I have always had cups ready and available for 2+. And they cannot move it from where it lives. I put them on the end cap of my kitchen counter. They drink there, and put the cup back in its spot.

I don't know.... I just feel like it's a basic need, ya know? I would never withhold it.
In our school, absolutely NOT. they are allowed access to the water fountains specific times of the day. When boarding the bus on hot days, the school provides each kid with a small bottle of cold water. That's it. They aren't allowed to go get water when they want it.
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Old 11-11-2013, 07:58 PM
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http://themetzfamilyadventures.blogs...-my-world.html

I saw this and thought of this thread and some of the responses on it.
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Old 11-11-2013, 08:00 PM
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Our licensing guidelines require that children must have access to water at all times- either that they can get themselves or to be able to ask for it and get it whenever they want.

We do not allow them to walk around w/ food or drinks though.They have to drink sitting at the table. When they are done we clear the drinks and they can ask again if they are thirsty again before meal time. At meals we serve milk and at snacks water.
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Old 11-11-2013, 08:03 PM
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In our school, absolutely NOT. they are allowed access to the water fountains specific times of the day. When boarding the bus on hot days, the school provides each kid with a small bottle of cold water. That's it. They aren't allowed to go get water when they want it.
Listen, I respect the way you do things. I just can't see denying a basic need. I have parents say that they don't think their kids drink enough water, and would I push it. I can't imagine saying, "Oh no, if they ask me between meals, I say no." So it comes down to what we're comfortable with. It's all good!
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Old 11-11-2013, 08:09 PM
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Listen, I respect the way you do things. I just can't see denying a basic need. I have parents say that they don't think their kids drink enough water, and would I push it. I can't imagine saying, "Oh no, if they ask me between meals, I say no." So it comes down to what we're comfortable with. It's all good!
Lol if a parent asked me that I'd tell them I provide them with the complete daily required amount and if they need more, they are welcome to push it at home lol.

I don't deny them their needs. Kids don't need to drink liquids all day long. They do need adequate fluids, healthy food, and a safe, healthy environment. And I provide them with that. But as I explain to parents, it's not my job to raise their kids for them. It's not my job to perform 100% of their potty training responsibilities. It's not my jobs to teach them all of my moral and Christian values. That's their job as a parent. It's not my job to be the only one who takes them out doors and it's not my job to parent them at all.

If my parents tell me their kids need to drink more water, I'd say "that's a great idea and activity you can do with the at home"

Don't get me wrong here. These kids here are in care for 8 hours. They get 100% of their fluid requirements in that period. It's the parents job to take care of hem the other 16 hours in that day. I assume they can give hem some water at home too
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Old 11-11-2013, 08:13 PM
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http://themetzfamilyadventures.blogs...-my-world.html

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Absolutely
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Old 11-11-2013, 08:15 PM
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Lol if a parent asked me that I'd tell them I provide them with the complete daily required amount and if they need more, they are welcome to push it at home lol.

I don't deny them their needs. Kids don't need to drink liquids all day long. They do need adequate fluids, healthy food, and a safe, healthy environment. And I provide them with that. But as I explain to parents, it's not my job to raise their kids for them. It's not my job to perform 100% of their potty training responsibilities. It's not my jobs to teach them all of my moral and Christian values. That's their job as a parent. It's not my job to be the only one who takes them out doors and it's not my job to parent them at all.

If my parents tell me their kids need to drink more water, I'd say "that's a great idea and activity you can do with the at home"

Don't get me wrong here. These kids here are in care for 8 hours. They get 100% of their fluid requirements in that period. It's the parents job to take care of hem the other 16 hours in that day. I assume they can give hem some water at home too
I may have given the impression that parents have complained that their kids don't drink enough HERE, as if it WERE my fault or problem. If I did, I didn't mean to.

I have long-term families (12 yrs, 10 yrs, 8 yrs, etc.), so we discuss the kids' well being just like I would if I were talking to my sister about her kids. A mom might say, "Joey just isn't a water drinker! Can you help him to remember to drink?" And I would fully know that they are doing the same at home. You've heard about that "village"? I live there.

Again, I wasn't criticizing the OP or you. And I'm not trying to change anybody's mind here. Just sayin' .......

(Sorry, OP. I didn't mean to hijack your post!)
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Old 11-11-2013, 08:19 PM
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My licensing regs say that children should have access to water, but I always just defined access as asking for water and having it available. I can always tell when the younger ones are thirsty because they hang out by the gate that leads to the eating area.

My kids have a drink at 8:30- 9:00 with breakfast, 11:30-12:00 at lunch, and then 3:30 at snack (they are napping between lunch and snack. So they never go long at all without a drink. They are served milk at meals, and have water for refills, and drink water at snack.

They don't have access to their cups at all times, but if they ask - they are more than welcome to them.
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Old 11-11-2013, 08:23 PM
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My licensing regs say that children should have access to water, but I always just defined access as asking for water and having it available. I can always tell when the younger ones are thirsty because they hang out by the gate that leads to the eating area.

My kids have a drink at 8:30- 9:00 with breakfast, 11:30-12:00 at lunch, and then 3:30 at snack (they are napping between lunch and snack. So they never go long at all without a drink. They are served milk at meals, and have water for refills, and drink water at snack.

They don't have access to their cups at all times, but if they ask - they are more than welcome to them.
I'm not licensed but my NHI rep says available doesn't need to mean sitting out all day. Water is available. In the bottle. Right there in the kitchen. But I'm like you, they are already drinking every few hours, I think that's pretty available. Now, summer time during outside time is different. Each child takes a bottle of water outside with them and I be sure they drink it. Heat stroke happens here a LOT.
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Old 11-11-2013, 08:32 PM
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I'm not licensed but my NHI rep says available doesn't need to mean sitting out all day. Water is available. In the bottle. Right there in the kitchen. But I'm like you, they are already drinking every few hours, I think that's pretty available. Now, summer time during outside time is different. Each child takes a bottle of water outside with them and I be sure they drink it. Heat stroke happens here a LOT.
We do that in the summer also. I bring a pitcher of ice water and each child has a cup, and they drink drink drink the entire time.

With the number & ages of kids I have. I would worry about cups sitting out all day. I know some of my toddlers would drop theirs on the floor, and then it would be picked up by someone else. Plus, we don't take a bite or a sip, outside of the eating area (other than bottles, of course), so I wouldn't want cups in the play area.

Not saying anything about other providers who have cups out. Just that I think with my kids, and their ages, it wouldn't be feasible.
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Old 11-11-2013, 08:38 PM
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We do that in the summer also. I bring a pitcher of ice water and each child has a cup, and they drink drink drink the entire time.

With the number & ages of kids I have. I would worry about cups sitting out all day. I know some of my toddlers would drop theirs on the floor, and then it would be picked up by someone else. Plus, we don't take a bite or a sip, outside of the eating area (other than bottles, of course), so I wouldn't want cups in the play area.

Not saying anything about other providers who have cups out. Just that I think with my kids, and their ages, it wouldn't be feasible.
Same reasons I have. I would have to physically come in here and watch them take each sip. I have two kids I can't trust not to take another child's cup and these kids aren't the most sanitary at home. It's just a sanitation risk for me mainly and spills etc.

Of course, if they are sick or need more fluid due to a med theya re on etc, different story entirely.
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Old 11-11-2013, 08:44 PM
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Mine have their names on them, and always, always sit in the exact same spot on the end cap of my kitchen counter, which is where the eating table is, as well. With new kids, or younger kids, I do monitor that they don't take the wrong cup. And I don't do non-lid cups until I'm convinced they won't spill. Usually age 4, maybe even 5. But if an accident happens, it's water, so no real harm. I actually can't remember ever mopping up a spill, though. And I'm going on 20 years.
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Old 11-11-2013, 08:47 PM
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Mine have their names on them, and always, always sit in the exact same spot on the end cap of my kitchen counter, which is where the eating table is, as well. With new kids, or younger kids, I do monitor that they don't take the wrong cup. And I don't do non-lid cups until I'm convinced they won't spill. Usually age 4, maybe even 5. But if an accident happens, it's water, so no real harm. I actually can't remember ever mopping up a spill, though. And I'm going on 20 years.
3 of my seven I could trust to use the correct cup. The other two would know and use the wrong cup on purpose. One is tube fed and doesn't get a cup at all and one is bottle fed. Whew.

I certainly admire you though. I can tell you care about the munchkins!!
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Old 11-11-2013, 10:46 PM
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I have logged out for privacy. I have been doing licensed daycare for over 15 years. But lately, I keep getting families that just aren't working out. Either the family is not prepared for blending into a group setting, the parents don't want their clothes dirty, or the parents want all sorts of special treatment for their child. I used to have families that worked out perfectly and never had problems getting and keeping kids for years. But lately, I have been going through kids every couple of weeks.

It seems like every new family I get lately is simply not prepared to handle going to daycare. I had a mom who breastfed. She knew that she was going to go out to work and not be a stay at home mom. She wanted to provide breast milk in bottles for daycare. Which is perfectly fine with me. But she never had anyone else other than the father and aunt (only for 2 days) feed the baby (3 months old) before attending daycare. So of course, the baby would not take the bottle from me. The baby would go all day long without eating at all! I watched the baby for a few days and called the mom each day to get her to pick up early to feed her baby. I simply couldn't bring myself to let the baby go all day without eating. After a couple of days, I told the mom that I couldn't keep watching the baby because he wouldn't eat.

I had a mom who raised her 1 year old to sleep all day and be up all night. Her sister decided that she needed to get a job and put the child in daycare. So they went from having the child sleep all day to being in daycare and me keeping her up all day ( except for naptime after lunch). They are mad at me because the child falls asleep at dinner time. I told them that they have to give the child time to adjust to a new sleeping pattern. They just fussed at me about her being tired.

I have had a few kids lately whose parents allow them to drink and eat all throughout the day at home. So when they come for the interview, I tell them that their child will not be allowed to do so here and that their child will be served their breakfast, lunch, and snack and that after meal time, the food and drinks will be cleared away. They will not be allowed to constantly drink and eat here. So the parents, after a few days are fussing at me because their child is hungry and thirsty when they go home. Of course they are! First of all, they are used to nibbling and drinking CONSTANTLY all day long (which is not healthy for them) and secondly, the child had snack at 3. The parents pick up at 5:30 and get home around 6 (3 hours after snack) so of course the child is going to be hungry and thirsty when they get home.

I have had parents who throw a fit if their child gets a speck of dirt on their clothes or skin their knee on the sidewalk. The children are supposed to be able to play outside. Which includes running and occasionally falling on the sidewalk which results in a skinned knee. They play outside in the grass area which also has dirt under the grass, so, when the child falls or sits down, they are going to occasionally get a grass stain and/or dirt on their clothes. But the parents flip out over these things!

Then there's the families that want special treatment. Things such as 'can you write down everything he eats and drinks, every time you change a diaper/every time he goes to the bathroom and note whether he peed or pooped, which children he played with and what things he played with, he will tell you when he's hungry and thirsty, so just feed him and give him drinks whenever he lets you know he needs them, he likes this food and doesn't like that food, if you serve him a meal and he says he doesn't like it or doesn't eat enough, you can just ask him what he wants you to make to replace what he didn't want to eat, here's his special blanket he has to carry around with him all day, and I want you to make sure no one else touches it or he will get upset, I want him to watch television/I don't want him to watch television, etc.

And of course, there's the parents that coddle their children obsessively up to the age 5! The parent babies their child so much that the child literally emotionally can't handle leaving mommy and daddy. The child cries throughout the day for weeks for the parents because they are used to being held, coddled, and doted on all day and night by their parents. The parents have told me that one or the other is constantly entertaining, holding, sitting with, laying down for naptime and bedtime with the child or the child sleeps in the bed with the parents every night. I have actually had parents who tell me that they want me to lay down beside their child and rub their child's hair until he falls asleep! NOOO!!! I can NOT lay down beside your child!!!

It just seems like the parents think I am a personal nanny or something. And it is obvious that their child rules the house at home and they expect me to allow their child to rule the daycare!


These are the types of families I have gotten in the past year or so. I used to get families that were prepared to enter a group daycare setting and the families would stay with me for years. However, in the past year or so, I haven't been able to get many families that are ready to enter daycare.

Do any of you get families like these? Do you keep them in your care? Do you make special changes as per their requests? Or do you basically tell them that they might not be a good fit for your childcare and let them go elsewhere?
I can totally relate to what your'e going thru, iv'e had several interviews and no one has been a fit, every single one of them has their child in the care of grandparents and apparently wanting to have a steady childcare or want a back up caregiver, part time, 3 hours, one hour, variable care, and of course these parents are not used to paying for child care and fight my fees, which were not high,(child care rates are all over the place in california they can go from high to very low)I live in a medium income are, that doesn't help either right now.

I do not give in to their special requests, or allow them them to change my policies, like not paying for holidays,absences, paying after care, lower my fees, they go back to the grandparents, where care is free.I get special requests like letting them watch their favorite show, baby can read videos for infants etc.
I have an interview tomorrow for an infant, I only work with 0-5, and I'm fearing it, I'm losing my confidence am I'm tired of hearing the same story over and over again and waist my time interviewing parents that don't really need care, they say one thing over the phone interview and when they get here the story and hours needed changes all the time.

Don't take me wrong I have been in this business over ten years and done very well,rarely encountered this problems before, I have plenty of experience and I attend college and hundreds of workshops, none of that matters to this parents, they only care about the bottom line $.

I'm organized and a business person and I love children, what else can I do?
You are not alone, business it's good for some and pretty bad for others right now.
There are times when I feel like giving in and just lower my fees and do whatever they ask , but no, i know that I can't do that, and at the moment I have zero kids so thats also a problem for some, they want to see kids.
I wish that I could have a good answer for you but I don't, I have been trying to figure out whats going on myself.
One thing i've done is to up my fees in my effort to avoid these type of parents.

The last client I had left because she wanted her child, a one year old to be around more children, so she went to day care that had twelve kids, and the one coming tomorrow left her current day care because they have too many kids, or at least that is her story for now. What gives? ....
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Old 11-12-2013, 06:11 AM
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A while ago, I tried leaving cups of water out for the children. It made me have to spend my entire day monitoring and refilling cups of water! The kids obviously weren't really thirsty, they just kept wanting to go back and forth to the cups on the counter to take sips constantly and began running games to see who could get there faster. They would often drink from someone else's cup - which made it so I had to constantly monitor the cups. They also went through 2-3 cups of water for each child per day which made me have to constantly fill up the cups. And of course, from drinking water constantly all day long, they were also spending half the day going to the bathroom!

My basic routine is breakfast 9am (including a drink), circle time, educational activities morning snack 10:30am(including a drink), free-play, educational activities, lunch 12pm(including a drink), nap, snack 3pm(including a drink), free-play, and, if the child is here after 6:00, dinner 6pm (including a drink). Trust me, the children are getting plenty of drinks throughout the day with their meals. They really should not need a drink in between meals here.

I have worked in 3 daycare/preschool centers. The water fountains were in the hallway. I honestly can only remember 1 time when one child asked to get water during class time. It simply didn't happen. The kids just waited for meal time.
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Old 11-12-2013, 06:29 AM
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A while ago, I tried leaving cups of water out for the children. It made me have to spend my entire day monitoring and refilling cups of water! The kids obviously weren't really thirsty, they just kept wanting to go back and forth to the cups on the counter to take sips constantly and began running games to see who could get there faster. They would often drink from someone else's cup - which made it so I had to constantly monitor the cups. They also went through 2-3 cups of water for each child per day which made me have to constantly fill up the cups. And of course, from drinking water constantly all day long, they were also spending half the day going to the bathroom!

My basic routine is breakfast 9am (including a drink), circle time, educational activities morning snack 10:30am(including a drink), free-play, educational activities, lunch 12pm(including a drink), nap, snack 3pm(including a drink), free-play, and, if the child is here after 6:00, dinner 6pm (including a drink). Trust me, the children are getting plenty of drinks throughout the day with their meals. They really should not need a drink in between meals here.

I have worked in 3 daycare/preschool centers. The water fountains were in the hallway. I honestly can only remember 1 time when one child asked to get water during class time. It simply didn't happen. The kids just waited for meal time.
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Old 11-12-2013, 06:34 AM
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the water problem is that even thou we have it all available, it doesn't mean a child needs to keep gulping it down all.day.long. I would have kids who would then flood their diapers and would never eat because they would be full of water. Its called balancing it out.

I have found that its all about the parents now. Parents going on vacation by themselves, having days off by themsleves, going to the grocery store by themselves. I'm finding that children are suppose to be there for show but thats it.
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Old 11-12-2013, 06:45 AM
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Mine have their names on them, and always, always sit in the exact same spot on the end cap of my kitchen counter, which is where the eating table is, as well. With new kids, or younger kids, I do monitor that they don't take the wrong cup. And I don't do non-lid cups until I'm convinced they won't spill. Usually age 4, maybe even 5. But if an accident happens, it's water, so no real harm. I actually can't remember ever mopping up a spill, though. And I'm going on 20 years.
This is what I do and it works out well, but I only have up to 5 a day so it's pretty easy for me to do. Now, when I worked in a center, we couldn't leave them out. It was too hard to do activities and watch 12 cups all day.
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Old 11-12-2013, 06:57 AM
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I am required to offer FRESH drinking water if a child wants it. ANYTIME.

I am NOT allowed to leave cups of water sitting out.

When someone takes a sip or drink from their cup (especially a covered or sippy type cup) bacteria gets into the water. Even if it is the child's own germs it is still not something we are advised to do.

Like Blandino, I interpret our rules as water being available meaning I will not deny a child water if he asks or indicates he wants some.
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Old 11-12-2013, 07:45 AM
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Honestly I don't think about what a center would offer. The difference between me and the centers is that I love their kid. I think about their kid night and day. I try to figure out every nook and cranny of their needs. I try to raise them to be outstanding humans. I care... a lot.

The schedule is for me. I need it. I have a lot of experience and I know what it takes to get all of us thru the day, week, month, year. I know what's best in my home... in my group. I don't expect parents to understand. They have one kid and five minutes of experience. They don't take care of other people's kids. I do.
thats how I feel. I enjoy getting to know parents but I do get frustrated from parents coming in with an infant and a know-it-all attitude and not recognizing that I have four kids and have cared for children on a full time basis for 6 years and a part time basis for a number of years before that. like you said "five minutes of experience" LOL
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Old 11-12-2013, 07:49 AM
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They don't have access ON THEIR DESK at Kinder, but I'll betcha if they raise their hand and tell Teacher they're thirsty, Teacher will see that they get water. Obviously if a kid starts working the teacher, she'll say "wait till recess/potty break/whatever".

Trust me, we don't drink 16 ounces, let alone 100. I realize you were exaggerating lol. But that's one of the reasons I have the water out at all times. They don't drink enough!

I should add that my DC kids are ages 5-10, but I have always had cups ready and available for 2+ (sippy cups until I feel they're ready to move on up). And they cannot move it from where it lives. I put them on the end cap of my kitchen counter. They drink there, and put the cup back in its spot.

I don't know.... I just feel like it's a basic need, ya know? I would never withhold it. I've never had a parent ask me to limit water, but I've had many, many, many ask me to push or encourage it.
I think the big difference is that you generally care for school agers. My group is ALL under 6 with two under 12 months, and a 2 year old that is physically delayed. There is no way I can keep track of multiple cups with toddlers roaming. plus a special needs 4 year old that still cannot use an open cup. It works for your group, it would never work for mine.
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Old 11-12-2013, 07:52 AM
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Listen, I respect the way you do things. I just can't see denying a basic need. I have parents say that they don't think their kids drink enough water, and would I push it. I can't imagine saying, "Oh no, if they ask me between meals, I say no." So it comes down to what we're comfortable with. It's all good!
I do give between meals if they ask and I think many providers do that. but I dont leave cups of water out where anyone can grab at any time. If they ask, I will assist and supervise. and if a parent has a big concern, I will expect them to take the lead on this at home, not pawn it off on me. My kids have breakfast and dinner at home so the parents do more meals than I do, they can certainly "push water" at home.
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Old 11-12-2013, 08:22 AM
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I do agree that modern parents are unprepared for group care. But in their defense, it is VERY common for parents these days to have no experience with children before having a child and most families have only one or two kids. The very nature of their home life is in exact opposition to group care. They have no perspective to base off of to gain an understanding of group care for babies to preschool age. WE providers are the ones that have to teach them that before the little ones go to school. I have had so many first time parents and one child homes since beginning daycare so I am not at all surprised by the confusion from parents when their child is not the prince/princess of the daycare. That is why I enjoy working for teachers. They understand the dynamics of group care.
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Old 11-12-2013, 10:16 AM
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this thread has brought up a lot of items.
Parents today- yes, I do not think they are prepared for leaving their children in childcare. (a larger number are not prepared to be parents!)
Issues I have been having lately. Lack of disciplining of their princesses at home. They do not want to grow their children up! They keep their bottles, binks, and diapers foreeevveeerrrr! They don't want their kidos wiping their own bottoms. They carry 4 yr olds that are almost as big as they are! They do not teach them to do things for themselves but they want them to know all their letters and start to read but they can't wipe their own bum or put on their own jacket!
Water- I do not leave cups out either- believe me I have to not sit my cup anywhere where kids can reach because the twins will grab it and drink (even coffee!) I give them milk with meals. I keep dixie cups for in between water. During the winter- not as much water. In the summer a lot more water. Whenever we come in from outside I offer water. We drink and toss the cups. Even my 1 yr olds can drink water from a dixie cup.
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Old 11-12-2013, 10:59 AM
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I think the big difference is that you generally care for school agers. My group is ALL under 6 with two under 12 months, and a 2 year old that is physically delayed. There is no way I can keep track of multiple cups with toddlers roaming. plus a special needs 4 year old that still cannot use an open cup. It works for your group, it would never work for mine.
Yes, you're absolutely right. Sounds like it wouldn't work in your situation. My group are 5 to 10 right now.

They are not allowed to remove their cup from the area... just stand there, take their drink, and then put it down. When I have younger ones, they use lid cups. All cups are placed in the exact same spot every single time. They have the cup for that whole day, then a clean one the next day. And no, their OWN germs are not harmful to them lol.
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Old 11-12-2013, 11:38 AM
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I haven't read all of the posts, yet, so I don't know if anyone mentioned this. The main problem I have had with new infants in the last few years is them not being able to nap in a crib. The parents let them nap in a swing. Since it's usually a year or two in between starting young babies, I somehow forget to discuss this ahead of time.
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Old 11-12-2013, 11:45 AM
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Yes, you're absolutely right. Sounds like it wouldn't work in your situation. My group are 5 to 10 right now.

They are not allowed to remove their cup from the area... just stand there, take their drink, and then put it down. When I have younger ones, they use lid cups. All cups are placed in the exact same spot every single time. They have the cup for that whole day, then a clean one the next day. And no, their OWN germs are not harmful to them lol.
I personally drink from my own water bottle the next day sometimes still but unfortunately licensing and public health does not agree with this at daycare.

I don't think it is a big deal at all.

But we were told that the bacteria that begins to form IS harmful to them. Their germs might not be, but the bacteria from their mouths is.

I'll see if I can find the sheet they gave us or a link I can post.
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Old 11-12-2013, 11:55 AM
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I personally drink from my own water bottle the next day sometimes still but unfortunately licensing and public health does not agree with this at daycare.

I don't think it is a big deal at all.

But we were told that the bacteria that begins to form IS harmful to them. Their germs might not be, but the bacteria from their mouths is.

I'll see if I can find the sheet they gave us or a link I can post.
When I was a large family daycare (licensed as a center in a residence here), we were not allowed to refill the cups. I could use reusable cups but once they were empty, they needed to be washed and sanitized before we could refill them. I used reusable cups and just had a few extra dixie cups if they finished their water. Now that I am family childcare again (5 or less kids) I am no longer required to follow sanitation rules. My kids all have their own cup on the table with their names on them (I only do 2 1/2 -5 so they can read their names). If they want a drink in between meals/snacks, they can go to the table and get a drink. They are not allowed to walk away from the table with them though. When I have new kids it is a novelty and they drink quite a bit the first few days. After that it isn't as exciting and there are some days they don't even touch them.
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Old 11-12-2013, 12:02 PM
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thats how I feel. I enjoy getting to know parents but I do get frustrated from parents coming in with an infant and a know-it-all attitude and not recognizing that I have four kids and have cared for children on a full time basis for 6 years and a part time basis for a number of years before that. like you said "five minutes of experience" LOL
Same here. I have a big problem with daycare parents younger than my own children coming in and trying to tell me how to do things. I sent one on her way because during interview, she asked several times if I was sure I knew how to make formula. Then she wanted to watch me do it.

GET. OUT!
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Old 11-12-2013, 12:08 PM
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Same here. I have a big problem with daycare parents younger than my own children coming in and trying to tell me how to do things. I sent one on her way because during interview, she asked several times if I was sure I knew how to make formula. Then she wanted to watch me do it.

GET. OUT!


That was my face when I read that!
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Old 11-12-2013, 01:03 PM
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Same here. I have a big problem with daycare parents younger than my own children coming in and trying to tell me how to do things. I sent one on her way because during interview, she asked several times if I was sure I knew how to make formula. Then she wanted to watch me do it.

GET. OUT!
This reminds me of when I worked at a center-type gym daycare and was primarily in the infant room with the under 1's. I was the 2nd oldest person working there, the oldest in the infant room, had the most children of my own (5 at the time) and more experience with childcare and diapering than the other employees combined. When someone complained about bringing their infant from the gym to the Ped and upon taking off their diaper found dried feces all over they were mortified. They made a huge stink about it and everyone had to be supervised changing a diaper to be sure we all knew how. I had a girl, seriously 23yrs old with NO children of her own, supervise me changing a baby's diaper. I was like really? You think **I** don't know how to change a diaper?? They would call me in the infant room if someone used cloth diapers because no one else knew how to change them. It was soooo lame. I would have the same response if someone questioned my ability to mix a bottle of formula. I've mixed more bottles of formula than all my daycare parent combined!
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Old 11-12-2013, 01:26 PM
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I don't know if it's because I have moved to a different area or what, but I have noticed that daycare providers don't get the same respect as an experienced professional as we did years ago.

Years ago, parents never questioned my ways of operating my business, working with the children, feeding the children, nap times, etc. And they often asked me for advice and my opinion because they knew that I had years of experience and education in the field of child care.

But now, I have young 20 year olds telling me what to do and how to do things with children. I just keep looking at them and saying that I have owned a licensed childcare for 25 years, have taken 26 years worth of child care classes and have raised about 100 or so children between the ages of 6 weeks and 12 years old. I truly believe that I know how to do my job!
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Old 11-12-2013, 01:33 PM
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I have logged out for privacy. I have been doing licensed daycare for over 15 years. But lately, I keep getting families that just aren't working out. Either the family is not prepared for blending into a group setting, the parents don't want their clothes dirty, or the parents want all sorts of special treatment for their child. I used to have families that worked out perfectly and never had problems getting and keeping kids for years. But lately, I have been going through kids every couple of weeks.

It seems like every new family I get lately is simply not prepared to handle going to daycare. I had a mom who breastfed. She knew that she was going to go out to work and not be a stay at home mom. She wanted to provide breast milk in bottles for daycare. Which is perfectly fine with me. But she never had anyone else other than the father and aunt (only for 2 days) feed the baby (3 months old) before attending daycare. So of course, the baby would not take the bottle from me. The baby would go all day long without eating at all! I watched the baby for a few days and called the mom each day to get her to pick up early to feed her baby. I simply couldn't bring myself to let the baby go all day without eating. After a couple of days, I told the mom that I couldn't keep watching the baby because he wouldn't eat.

I had a mom who raised her 1 year old to sleep all day and be up all night. Her sister decided that she needed to get a job and put the child in daycare. So they went from having the child sleep all day to being in daycare and me keeping her up all day ( except for naptime after lunch). They are mad at me because the child falls asleep at dinner time. I told them that they have to give the child time to adjust to a new sleeping pattern. They just fussed at me about her being tired.

I have had a few kids lately whose parents allow them to drink and eat all throughout the day at home. So when they come for the interview, I tell them that their child will not be allowed to do so here and that their child will be served their breakfast, lunch, and snack and that after meal time, the food and drinks will be cleared away. They will not be allowed to constantly drink and eat here. So the parents, after a few days are fussing at me because their child is hungry and thirsty when they go home. Of course they are! First of all, they are used to nibbling and drinking CONSTANTLY all day long (which is not healthy for them) and secondly, the child had snack at 3. The parents pick up at 5:30 and get home around 6 (3 hours after snack) so of course the child is going to be hungry and thirsty when they get home.

I have had parents who throw a fit if their child gets a speck of dirt on their clothes or skin their knee on the sidewalk. The children are supposed to be able to play outside. Which includes running and occasionally falling on the sidewalk which results in a skinned knee. They play outside in the grass area which also has dirt under the grass, so, when the child falls or sits down, they are going to occasionally get a grass stain and/or dirt on their clothes. But the parents flip out over these things!

Then there's the families that want special treatment. Things such as 'can you write down everything he eats and drinks, every time you change a diaper/every time he goes to the bathroom and note whether he peed or pooped, which children he played with and what things he played with, he will tell you when he's hungry and thirsty, so just feed him and give him drinks whenever he lets you know he needs them, he likes this food and doesn't like that food, if you serve him a meal and he says he doesn't like it or doesn't eat enough, you can just ask him what he wants you to make to replace what he didn't want to eat, here's his special blanket he has to carry around with him all day, and I want you to make sure no one else touches it or he will get upset, I want him to watch television/I don't want him to watch television, etc.

And of course, there's the parents that coddle their children obsessively up to the age 5! The parent babies their child so much that the child literally emotionally can't handle leaving mommy and daddy. The child cries throughout the day for weeks for the parents because they are used to being held, coddled, and doted on all day and night by their parents. The parents have told me that one or the other is constantly entertaining, holding, sitting with, laying down for naptime and bedtime with the child or the child sleeps in the bed with the parents every night. I have actually had parents who tell me that they want me to lay down beside their child and rub their child's hair until he falls asleep! NOOO!!! I can NOT lay down beside your child!!!

It just seems like the parents think I am a personal nanny or something. And it is obvious that their child rules the house at home and they expect me to allow their child to rule the daycare!


These are the types of families I have gotten in the past year or so. I used to get families that were prepared to enter a group daycare setting and the families would stay with me for years. However, in the past year or so, I haven't been able to get many families that are ready to enter daycare.

Do any of you get families like these? Do you keep them in your care? Do you make special changes as per their requests? Or do you basically tell them that they might not be a good fit for your childcare and let them go elsewhere?
It seems these kinds of families have evolved to be more the rule than the exception here in the last 5 or 10 years...... I could have written your post....

Last edited by christine19720; 11-12-2013 at 01:34 PM. Reason: Double sentence
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Old 11-12-2013, 09:54 PM
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I've been thinking more about this water issue, so I looked it up on a couple sites.
http://www.eatright.org/kids/article.aspx?id=6442470651
and
http://www.healthykids.nsw.gov.au/ki...rink-kids.aspx

They suggest 1 liter of water per day for 4 to 8 year olds. That's two of those 16.9 ounce bottled waters you buy at the store.

I would estimate that during the time they are at my house on a no-school day, they probably drink equivalent to one of this size bottled water. (Some days more, some days less.)

They are here anywhere from 8 to 10 hours, and they are at home (awake) about 4 or 5 hours. So I have them DOUBLE the time their parents do, but they only drink HALF of what is recommended for their bodies.

I read on here all the time that certain providers insist on serving only organic foods, only homemade meals, only healthy foods, no sugary snacks, veggies at every lunch, etc., etc. They do this because it's what's healthy for the kids. They do this because many (let's face it -- MOST) of the kids are not fed in a healthy manner at home. They insist on this for the kids' sake. It's what's best FOR THE KIDS. They wouldn't have it any other way.

So what I can't figure out is, if some of you are willing to take the extra time and cost to provide this, even if the parents don't, then I can't reconcile why the next logical step wouldn't be to encourage the water that is also so important for good health and well-being.

Disclaimers:

*Don't yell at me.
*I'm not criticizing in the least.
*I'm just bringing up a topic that strikes my interest at the moment.
*I welcome and respect any thoughts that are different than mine.
*I acknowledge that I currently have ages 5-10, and that most of you have youngers. But I provide all-day-available sippies for youngers too, when I have them.
*No, they don't walk around with water. It stays put, but is always available.
*I acknowledge that the posters above who say that water is only for snack time may or may not be the same as the organic/homemade/healthy-only lunch people, but I brought that up because it's what I read on here a lot, and I couldn't reconcile that with not encouraging water.
*This is just a talking point. I don't claim it to be THE perfect answer by any means.
*Don't yell at me.
*I acknowledge that I said 'don't yell at me' twice.
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Old 11-13-2013, 05:00 AM
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I've been thinking more about this water issue, so I looked it up on a couple sites.
http://www.eatright.org/kids/article.aspx?id=6442470651
and
http://www.healthykids.nsw.gov.au/ki...rink-kids.aspx

They suggest 1 liter of water per day for 4 to 8 year olds. That's two of those 16.9 ounce bottled waters you buy at the store.

I would estimate that during the time they are at my house on a no-school day, they probably drink equivalent to one of this size bottled water. (Some days more, some days less.)

They are here anywhere from 8 to 10 hours, and they are at home (awake) about 4 or 5 hours. So I have them DOUBLE the time their parents do, but they only drink HALF of what is recommended for their bodies.

I read on here all the time that certain providers insist on serving only organic foods, only homemade meals, only healthy foods, no sugary snacks, veggies at every lunch, etc., etc. They do this because it's what's healthy for the kids. They do this because many (let's face it -- MOST) of the kids are not fed in a healthy manner at home. They insist on this for the kids' sake. It's what's best FOR THE KIDS. They wouldn't have it any other way.

So what I can't figure out is, if some of you are willing to take the extra time and cost to provide this, even if the parents don't, then I can't reconcile why the next logical step wouldn't be to encourage the water that is also so important for good health and well-being.

Disclaimers:

*Don't yell at me.
*I'm not criticizing in the least.
*I'm just bringing up a topic that strikes my interest at the moment.
*I welcome and respect any thoughts that are different than mine.
*I acknowledge that I currently have ages 5-10, and that most of you have youngers. But I provide all-day-available sippies for youngers too, when I have them.
*No, they don't walk around with water. It stays put, but is always available.
*I acknowledge that the posters above who say that water is only for snack time may or may not be the same as the organic/homemade/healthy-only lunch people, but I brought that up because it's what I read on here a lot, and I couldn't reconcile that with not encouraging water.
*This is just a talking point. I don't claim it to be THE perfect answer by any means.
*Don't yell at me.
*I acknowledge that I said 'don't yell at me' twice.
Yes, as I said in my previous post. That 1 liter recommended though includes total water intake, including that found in foods (fruits etc) and those found in other beverages like milk etc. so that's 38 or so total ounces in all sources. Which, according to the "experts" leaves about 12-14 oz per day they should be receiving at daycare. Which is done at two snack times. And I'm assuming they drink some liquid at home which should be the parents job since they are home anywhere from 12 to 18 hours.

No yelling needed. Just as I said my previous posts.
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Old 11-13-2013, 05:15 AM
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I leave water out on the table for them, but I will say they are typically drunk in a single shot, then refilled an hour or so later. If for some reason they are not, when the first kiddo asks for more, I scoop up all the cups, rinse and refill.
I guess that sort of puts me in the middle.
As to drinking from other's cups, they just don't. And they are WAY more protective of their cups than I am. If someone else even touches their cup, they are all over it.
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Old 11-13-2013, 05:34 AM
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When I had water avalible, I had kids drinking from the wrong cups (on purpose ) kids spitting water all over (on purpose ) kids gargling with water (again, on purpose )

So if a child comes to me mid morning and claims thirst, I will pour a little water in a cup and they have to sit right with me while drinking it. I've also noticed kids claiming thirst in order to get out of activities they don't like - kids who want to come inside after a couple of minutes, or who want to get out of cleaning up. Just like anything else, I do try to hold a child off when I strongly suspect the motive isn't thirst, just as I wouldn't feed them lunch at 10:30 because they say they are hungry.
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Old 11-13-2013, 05:39 AM
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When I had water avalible, I had kids drinking from the wrong cups (on purpose ) kids spitting water all over (on purpose ) kids gargling with water (again, on purpose )

So if a child comes to me mid morning and claims thirst, I will pour a little water in a cup and they have to sit right with me while drinking it. I've also noticed kids claiming thirst in order to get out of activities they don't like - kids who want to come inside after a couple of minutes, or who want to get out of cleaning up. Just like anything else, I do try to hold a child off when I strongly suspect the motive isn't thirst, just as I wouldn't feed them lunch at 10:30 because they say they are hungry.
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Old 11-13-2013, 05:52 AM
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Same here. I have a big problem with daycare parents younger than my own children coming in and trying to tell me how to do things. I sent one on her way because during interview, she asked several times if I was sure I knew how to make formula. Then she wanted to watch me do it.

GET. OUT!
oh my word, I would have been rolling my eyes here. "you just scoop the powder into the water and then sake the bottle to mix.....shoot, a monkey could do it!" you think they would have been offended if I said that?
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Old 11-13-2013, 06:03 AM
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oh my word, I would have been rolling my eyes here. "you just scoop the powder into the water and then sake the bottle to mix.....shoot, a monkey could do it!" you think they would have been offended if I said that?
Nooooooooo I'm sure they wouldn't have been offended.

But I would have said very seriously "duh, it's three scoops of formula for every two ounces of water" and then watch them
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Old 11-13-2013, 06:20 AM
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my seasoned parents don't even question me, heck sometimes I have to question them. but its true, its the younger parents that just make me shake my head (ok, some are really good) but for the most part I just can't comply what they want.
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Old 11-13-2013, 06:42 AM
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Nooooooooo I'm sure they wouldn't have been offended.

But I would have said very seriously "duh, it's three scoops of formula for every two ounces of water" and then watch them
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Old 11-13-2013, 06:48 AM
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Or I could have said "please show me, I don't know how to read the can and I fed my own two kids whole milk at birth so I've never made formula"
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Old 11-13-2013, 08:55 AM
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well I have to say after reading through this thread I'm glad its not just me. I feel like I am so old saying "parents today" - I'm "only" 40. But its so true, in the last 5 years or so the dynamics of parents have changed so much. The not saying "no" to kids is the worst. I had a parent who's child had a meltdown in my driveway because I didn't put a sticker on his daily sheet that day - wouldn't you know the very next day she bought a pack of stickers to keep in her car for him. REALLY? How about just telling your child no, that you can't expect something every single day, when you get one its a treat?? Now I just stopped doing it entirely.
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Old 11-13-2013, 08:59 AM
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well I have to say after reading through this thread I'm glad its not just me. I feel like I am so old saying "parents today" - I'm "only" 40. But its so true, in the last 5 years or so the dynamics of parents have changed so much. The not saying "no" to kids is the worst. I had a parent who's child had a meltdown in my driveway because I didn't put a sticker on his daily sheet that day - wouldn't you know the very next day she bought a pack of stickers to keep in her car for him. REALLY? How about just telling your child no, that you can't expect something every single day, when you get one its a treat?? Now I just stopped doing it entirely.
I have a good one about "parents today"

I have a family who's cat died in late September/early October. Passed away while child was in care.

Parents are choosing to NOT tell the child because they don't want the child to be upset. Child is 3.5 yrs old.

So when the child asks about the cat, where is the cat etc...they say "Oh, I don't know. He must be outside chasing mice or something. He'll probably come in later on." ANYTHING to redirect and deflect.

Then the mom tells me that they are even keeping the cat's food and water dish out so the kid doesn't catch on.

I'm sorry but
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Old 11-13-2013, 09:11 AM
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I have a good one about "parents today"

I have a family who's cat died in late September/early October. Passed away while child was in care.

Parents are choosing to NOT tell the child because they don't want the child to be upset. Child is 3.5 yrs old.

So when the child asks about the cat, where is the cat etc...they say "Oh, I don't know. He must be outside chasing mice or something. He'll probably come in later on." ANYTHING to redirect and deflect.

Then the mom tells me that they are even keeping the cat's food and water dish out so the kid doesn't catch on.

I'm sorry but
Oh my . I suppose the cat is just going to live forever

I blame the "parents today" vents on the internet. Every time a new parent has any kind of question they take to the internet. As we all know "if it's on the internet it must be right" .

In the my day (I can't believe I just said that) new parents relied on their mothers, grandmothers or other people with more experience to help them when they needed it.
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Old 11-13-2013, 09:17 AM
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I have a good one about "parents today"

I have a family who's cat died in late September/early October. Passed away while child was in care.

Parents are choosing to NOT tell the child because they don't want the child to be upset. Child is 3.5 yrs old.

So when the child asks about the cat, where is the cat etc...they say "Oh, I don't know. He must be outside chasing mice or something. He'll probably come in later on." ANYTHING to redirect and deflect.

Then the mom tells me that they are even keeping the cat's food and water dish out so the kid doesn't catch on.

I'm sorry but
a CAT!? Reminds me of the simpsons with Snowball I, Snowball II, etc....

Dcp's of mine just successfully replaced my 4.5yo dcg's hamster with one that looked the same. Dcg does NOT understand why tootie bites her now! Seriously, just tell her it died and bury it. Allow them to mourn small losses so that big ones aren't as hard!
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Old 11-13-2013, 09:17 AM
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I have a good one about "parents today"

I have a family who's cat died in late September/early October. Passed away while child was in care.

Parents are choosing to NOT tell the child because they don't want the child to be upset. Child is 3.5 yrs old.

So when the child asks about the cat, where is the cat etc...they say "Oh, I don't know. He must be outside chasing mice or something. He'll probably come in later on." ANYTHING to redirect and deflect.

Then the mom tells me that they are even keeping the cat's food and water dish out so the kid doesn't catch on.

I'm sorry but
That is insane! What??? Makes me think I must be a huge meanie, my poor DD had a fish that died twice lol. Not really, but it was floating, no movement whatsoever for the entire day. Gave her the "speech" & told her we could give him a proper funeral/goodbye. Went to scoop it out and the darn thing moved!!! The shock (little jump & scream)and laughing was ridiculous, I told her honey, the fish IS going to die, just not today lol. It died for real the next day Kids can't be sheltered from everything...does more harm than good IMO
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Old 11-13-2013, 09:26 AM
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That is insane! What??? Makes me think I must be a huge meanie, my poor DD had a fish that died twice lol. Not really, but it was floating, no movement whatsoever for the entire day. Gave her the "speech" & told her we could give him a proper funeral/goodbye. Went to scoop it out and the darn thing moved!!! The shock (little jump & scream)and laughing was ridiculous, I told her honey, the fish IS going to die, just not today lol. It died for real the next day Kids can't be sheltered from everything...does more harm than good IMO


I told my DD that her fish died because she didn't clean her room. (She was probably 6.)

Now she has kind of an OCD about her room being clean.... Ooopsie

Yeah about the cat....I heard that pets dying in early childhood is THE BEST thing that can happen so you can teach your child about death so when it happens to a grandparent or something they have already built somewhat of a grasp about the subject.
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Old 11-13-2013, 09:27 AM
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I have a good one about "parents today"

I have a family who's cat died in late September/early October. Passed away while child was in care.

Parents are choosing to NOT tell the child because they don't want the child to be upset. Child is 3.5 yrs old.

So when the child asks about the cat, where is the cat etc...they say "Oh, I don't know. He must be outside chasing mice or something. He'll probably come in later on." ANYTHING to redirect and deflect.

Then the mom tells me that they are even keeping the cat's food and water dish out so the kid doesn't catch on.

I'm sorry but
LOL!! Ok my dd is in college 3 hours away. "her dog" is getting old. When she came home for fall break it was late at night and the dog was upstairs asleep. I guess Kate was sitting in the chair when she all of a sudden looked around and asked her dad, "is Bella dead??" He said no, just upstairs. We joke if she dies while she is at school we are going to have her stuffed and move her around the house in photos to send her. I was on the phone with her once and Bella barked and Kate said, good so Bella is alive. I promised to never tell her at school if she dies...
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Old 11-13-2013, 10:40 AM
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well I have to say after reading through this thread I'm glad its not just me. I feel like I am so old saying "parents today" - I'm "only" 40. But its so true, in the last 5 years or so the dynamics of parents have changed so much. The not saying "no" to kids is the worst. I had a parent who's child had a meltdown in my driveway because I didn't put a sticker on his daily sheet that day - wouldn't you know the very next day she bought a pack of stickers to keep in her car for him. REALLY? How about just telling your child no, that you can't expect something every single day, when you get one its a treat?? Now I just stopped doing it entirely.
omg. that is just ridiculous about the stickers. I am 31 and I still say "parents today..." ha ha. I think I was born in the wrong generation. If my kid misbehaves at school, which she has done, I am ALL over that situation and making sure that the teacher knows we support the teacher and misbehavior from my kid will not be tolerated.
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Old 11-13-2013, 10:42 AM
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Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I have a good one about "parents today"

I have a family who's cat died in late September/early October. Passed away while child was in care.

Parents are choosing to NOT tell the child because they don't want the child to be upset. Child is 3.5 yrs old.

So when the child asks about the cat, where is the cat etc...they say "Oh, I don't know. He must be outside chasing mice or something. He'll probably come in later on." ANYTHING to redirect and deflect.

Then the mom tells me that they are even keeping the cat's food and water dish out so the kid doesn't catch on.

I'm sorry but
so lying is okay? wow.

we had to give our cat away and I told my 2 year old immediately, as well as the other kids. but the 2 year old was the most attached to the cat. I am not going to lie to my own kids or keep them from having opportunities to learn to cope with disappointment. nor am I filling a food and water bowl every day if i dont have to. my word, parents today! ugh
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Old 11-13-2013, 10:48 AM
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Welcome to today's parenting.

Yes, I get families like this too. I simply make sure I am clear about my rules and expectations and then hold the parents to them.

If they leave over it, then they leave. I know that sucks sometimes because that means loss of income but honestly my own values, ethics and morals do NOT allow for me to continue being part of something I simply don't believe in or don't support.

I will NOT cater to one child and/or one family. Best case scenario, ALL providers will feel the same and eventually the family that suffers from this kind of entitlement learns that not everyone feels that they are "special".

Worst case scenario, another provider will take them and bend or cave to their special requests....which does nothing to help teach the family that they aren't the only ones on this earth, but I guess that's ok with me because they aren't MY problem...kwim?

The interviewing process is THE biggest aspect of my program. In my opinion it sets the stage right up front for what my working relationship with a family will or won't be.

If the family makes it through the interview and the two week trial period, it is usually all good after that.

Hang in there. Daycare is changing. Parenting is changing. Human beings are changing.

You have two choices. Adapt methods and ways of dealing with these issues or cave and just accept it as it is.

I choose to adapt and find ways to deal so that I can still get up and go to work every day with some like or willingness towards my job.

((((hugs))))
This
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Old 11-13-2013, 11:03 AM
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I do go over it all during the interview. My interview is at least an hour. Typically up to 2 hours. I am overly informative about all my rules, ways of operating my daycare and our routine. Often, the parents will tell me how they are at home and I tell them on the interview how I will handle that situation at daycare. For example they will tell me the child is allowed to eat and drink whenever they want. So I will tell them on the interview that their child will get food and drink only at meal time here and then the food and drink will be picked up and they have to wait for the next meal to be served. Except when it is really hot and we are outside, then I allow them water throughout the time we are outside and when we come back inside we get a drink.

But even though we discuss everything at the interview, when the child is going through the adjustment period getting used to my way vs. the parents way, the parents get mad and won't give the child or themselves the time needed to adjust.
The parent gets mad! You just implement your rules. You need to give new clients time to adjust and see that you don't budge on your own rules. Group care is different from one on one care. I say this a lot. Many parents don't understand what group care is all about, they just think play mates for little one. They don't go above that and think cooperation, waiting turns, etc... they just think about their one and only precious and what they want for them. They don't have to split up their time for more then there own kids so they don't understand when someone else does. They get clued in quick when school starts, but for kids that are in daycare before school it starts then. I don't blame my parents, but I do keep telling them the rules, and what I expect to keep my day and everyone's day running the smoothest it can. Nap time is not about making your kid sleep so that they are up all night. It is about rest for everyone that is very much needed from a busy day of go go go. I have said this time and time again, parents are not thinking of us, they are thinking of their own child and what they have on their plates for the then and now. They just don't. Natural. So, have to explain this is how I work and how it works best for everyone here. Your not being unreasonable. Hang in there. Explain to the parents, adjustment times can be hard, we just all need to stick to it and be on the same page. I do things different then you do and that is ok.
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Old 11-13-2013, 11:17 AM
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I second all this a hundred percent I, I'm just adding another big problem $ parents are cheap, they think they can negotiate my fees./ never had all this problems before in over ten years trying to register new families.
I don't know if parents are cheap, or just financially burdened by the times. I think many parents are just looking to save money any way they can- Takes two parents working to make ends meet.

I think of my own self- grocery shopping four bags and over a hundred dollars, and those bags are not full.

Cell phone bill- phone used to cost about ten a month, now we are talking hundreds

Taxes always going up

Mortgage, car payment.

Heat ...... its a killer and we are still colder then we should be at our home.

Electric

credit cards

health coverage

schooling

misc.

wages don't go up enough to cover the cost of everything else going up

I am not whining, but just saying most people are just looking to make it these days. You would think that childcare would be a # 1 or right up there, we are taking care of the most valuable asset.

Negotiating fee's is not an option. I have to be able to make it too.
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Old 11-13-2013, 11:35 AM
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Honestly I don't think about what a center would offer. The difference between me and the centers is that I love their kid. I think about their kid night and day. I try to figure out every nook and cranny of their needs. I try to raise them to be outstanding humans. I care... a lot.

The schedule is for me. I need it. I have a lot of experience and I know what it takes to get all of us thru the day, week, month, year. I know what's best in my home... in my group. I don't expect parents to understand. They have one kid and five minutes of experience. They don't take care of other people's kids. I do.
I really have to get better about responding after reading everyones post. I am like an excited puppy and I just want to jump right in

I won't say that center caregivers don't care and love the kids. I think many do. I just feel home providers don't have to go through so many loops of upper management and are more invested because they are the sole everything.
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Old 11-13-2013, 11:38 AM
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My daycare kids and my own personal kids only get drinks and food at meals and snacks. UNLESS it's hot outside, then they get water outside and after we come inside etc.

In kindy they don't have a cup full of water at their disposal all day. And really, they don't need 100 oz of liquid all day either.

I think it's awesome that you are sure yours get enough fluid, but personally it has been recommended to me that kids need boundaries, even with food and drink. Here's a time for it and a time they don't get it.

Recommended fluid total intake a day for a healthy child is approximately 44 oz total per day. That includes water found in the food they eat, as well as water in heir milk etc. our pediatrician recommends milk for meals and water for snacks with plain water intake of 8-12 oz per day. Unless they are sick, etc. they get 8-12 oz of water at snack times so no extra is needed unless it's hot outside or they are sick. Also, my son, if he gets too much water, simply won't eat.

If I had a cup sitting around for every child I'd have a germ fest. I'd spend all day keeping x cup away from y and oh no, did I turn my back and another kid slobbered on y cup. Not to mention spills etc. I think it just teaches them instant gratification and they don't have to wait for anything.

But kudos to those who do that though!!
I agree, but if a child told me they were thirsty I would give them water- No it is not out all the time and for the same reasons above.
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Old 11-13-2013, 11:42 AM
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Listen, I respect the way you do things. I just can't see denying a basic need. I have parents say that they don't think their kids drink enough water, and would I push it. I can't imagine saying, "Oh no, if they ask me between meals, I say no." So it comes down to what we're comfortable with. It's all good!
I don't say no, but we are not going to play in water all day~ You know your kids and who is truly thirsty and who is not. If asked, I give them water. If not they have drinks at scheduled meal times. When it is hot outside we take out water bottles.
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Old 11-13-2013, 11:46 AM
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I may have given the impression that parents have complained that their kids don't drink enough HERE, as if it WERE my fault or problem. If I did, I didn't mean to.

I have long-term families (12 yrs, 10 yrs, 8 yrs, etc.), so we discuss the kids' well being just like I would if I were talking to my sister about her kids. A mom might say, "Joey just isn't a water drinker! Can you help him to remember to drink?" And I would fully know that they are doing the same at home. You've heard about that "village"? I live there.

Again, I wasn't criticizing the OP or you. And I'm not trying to change anybody's mind here. Just sayin' .......

(Sorry, OP. I didn't mean to hijack your post!)
I have heard the it takes a village and I think your both villagers, just doing things differently and that is ok. Both parties are making sure needs are met. One leaves water out, one doesn't. Whatever works best is what I go for.
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Old 11-13-2013, 11:49 AM
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Mine have their names on them, and always, always sit in the exact same spot on the end cap of my kitchen counter, which is where the eating table is, as well. With new kids, or younger kids, I do monitor that they don't take the wrong cup. And I don't do non-lid cups until I'm convinced they won't spill. Usually age 4, maybe even 5. But if an accident happens, it's water, so no real harm. I actually can't remember ever mopping up a spill, though. And I'm going on 20 years.
I thought it was not good to use sippy cups that late, has to do with teeth alignment. I get my kids on a regular cup as soon as possible......so much easier and better for them
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Old 11-13-2013, 11:57 AM
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Yes, you're absolutely right. Sounds like it wouldn't work in your situation. My group are 5 to 10 right now.

They are not allowed to remove their cup from the area... just stand there, take their drink, and then put it down. When I have younger ones, they use lid cups. All cups are placed in the exact same spot every single time. They have the cup for that whole day, then a clean one the next day. And no, their OWN germs are not harmful to them lol.
I don't know if I agree with their own germs are not harmful to them. Have you ever left a cup out over night and then look to find what is growing in it? Even water- It is from the back up of what is the mouth and floating around your enviroment. I agree with you about having water available at all times, but not left out and not to graze on, same with food. If a child is thirsty and ask, then great. I will offer them water.
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Old 11-13-2013, 12:06 PM
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I've been thinking more about this water issue, so I looked it up on a couple sites.
http://www.eatright.org/kids/article.aspx?id=6442470651
and
http://www.healthykids.nsw.gov.au/ki...rink-kids.aspx

They suggest 1 liter of water per day for 4 to 8 year olds. That's two of those 16.9 ounce bottled waters you buy at the store.

I would estimate that during the time they are at my house on a no-school day, they probably drink equivalent to one of this size bottled water. (Some days more, some days less.)

They are here anywhere from 8 to 10 hours, and they are at home (awake) about 4 or 5 hours. So I have them DOUBLE the time their parents do, but they only drink HALF of what is recommended for their bodies.

I read on here all the time that certain providers insist on serving only organic foods, only homemade meals, only healthy foods, no sugary snacks, veggies at every lunch, etc., etc. They do this because it's what's healthy for the kids. They do this because many (let's face it -- MOST) of the kids are not fed in a healthy manner at home. They insist on this for the kids' sake. It's what's best FOR THE KIDS. They wouldn't have it any other way.

So what I can't figure out is, if some of you are willing to take the extra time and cost to provide this, even if the parents don't, then I can't reconcile why the next logical step wouldn't be to encourage the water that is also so important for good health and well-being.

Disclaimers:

*Don't yell at me.
*I'm not criticizing in the least.
*I'm just bringing up a topic that strikes my interest at the moment.
*I welcome and respect any thoughts that are different than mine.
*I acknowledge that I currently have ages 5-10, and that most of you have youngers. But I provide all-day-available sippies for youngers too, when I have them.
*No, they don't walk around with water. It stays put, but is always available.
*I acknowledge that the posters above who say that water is only for snack time may or may not be the same as the organic/homemade/healthy-only lunch people, but I brought that up because it's what I read on here a lot, and I couldn't reconcile that with not encouraging water.
*This is just a talking point. I don't claim it to be THE perfect answer by any means.
*Don't yell at me.
*I acknowledge that I said 'don't yell at me' twice.
LOL who is yelling at you on the playground?

I think big name water bottling companies over push the need for water. Too much of anything is not good for a person. There is a push for drinking water and it makes me wonder why.......$ is the bottom line answer for this.

I personally listen to my own body and go from there.

Thanks for posting a different view it has been good reading even if I don't agree with you 100%- It's all good~
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Old 11-13-2013, 12:08 PM
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Nooooooooo I'm sure they wouldn't have been offended.

But I would have said very seriously "duh, it's three scoops of formula for every two ounces of water" and then watch them
lol

If parents only knew what went through my head most of the time!!!
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Old 11-13-2013, 12:09 PM
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well I have to say after reading through this thread I'm glad its not just me. I feel like I am so old saying "parents today" - I'm "only" 40. But its so true, in the last 5 years or so the dynamics of parents have changed so much. The not saying "no" to kids is the worst. I had a parent who's child had a meltdown in my driveway because I didn't put a sticker on his daily sheet that day - wouldn't you know the very next day she bought a pack of stickers to keep in her car for him. REALLY? How about just telling your child no, that you can't expect something every single day, when you get one its a treat?? Now I just stopped doing it entirely.
I think I remember you mentioning this a while ago!
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Old 11-13-2013, 12:09 PM
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I don't know if parents are cheap, or just financially burdened by the times. I think many parents are just looking to save money any way they can- Takes two parents working to make ends meet.

I think of my own self- grocery shopping four bags and over a hundred dollars, and those bags are not full.

Cell phone bill- phone used to cost about ten a month, now we are talking hundreds

Taxes always going up

Mortgage, car payment.

Heat ...... its a killer and we are still colder then we should be at our home.

Electric

credit cards

health coverage

schooling

misc.

wages don't go up enough to cover the cost of everything else going up

I am not whining, but just saying most people are just looking to make it these days. You would think that childcare would be a # 1 or right up there, we are taking care of the most valuable asset.

Negotiating fee's is not an option. I have to be able to make it too.
I agree that things are more expensive, but I believe the definition of "making ends meet" has changed dramatically. What used to be a luxury is now considered a necessity. Young couples expect to start out in a home as big & nice as the one their parents worked 30 years for. They need the big SUV to haul their kids around to the $$$ activities they're involved in. Now, I'm not saying this is true for everyone, but I'm seeing it more and more.
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Old 11-13-2013, 12:11 PM
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I have a good one about "parents today"

I have a family who's cat died in late September/early October. Passed away while child was in care.

Parents are choosing to NOT tell the child because they don't want the child to be upset. Child is 3.5 yrs old.

So when the child asks about the cat, where is the cat etc...they say "Oh, I don't know. He must be outside chasing mice or something. He'll probably come in later on." ANYTHING to redirect and deflect.

Then the mom tells me that they are even keeping the cat's food and water dish out so the kid doesn't catch on.

I'm sorry but
I had a parent stop by to tell the child that someone else would be picking the child up to prep the child
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Old 11-13-2013, 05:06 PM
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I told my DD that her fish died because she didn't clean her room. (She was probably 6.)

Now she has kind of an OCD about her room being clean.... Ooopsie


Yeah about the cat....I heard that pets dying in early childhood is THE BEST thing that can happen so you can teach your child about death so when it happens to a grandparent or something they have already built somewhat of a grasp about the subject.
That is so funny.
A little OT, but when I was a kid, I had a goldfish and one evening it died. I had to go to my girl scout meeting pretty soon and I got myself together and went and was having fun. Well, during the meeting, we always had a snack and I remember the snack helper putting it in front of me and looking down and yep, it was goldfish crackers So of course, I immediately started crying and my troop leader asked me what was wrong and I said "my goldfish died" and she said, "oh, no, no honey, these aren't REAL fish"
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Old 11-13-2013, 05:15 PM
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I told my DD that her fish died because she didn't clean her room. (She was probably 6.)

Now she has kind of an OCD about her room being clean.... Ooopsie
Ok, seriously, you have GOT to warn people about these!!
We need a "just spewed tea all over my screen" smilie!
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Old 11-13-2013, 06:40 PM
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Originally Posted by My3cents View Post
I thought it was not good to use sippy cups that late, has to do with teeth alignment. I get my kids on a regular cup as soon as possible......so much easier and better for them
Yes, absolutely. At the table for snacks and meals, they use a regular cup. I said sippy cup out of habit. I use those cups with lids where you slide back a covering over the hole where the water comes out. (Did that make sense? lol.. similar to an insulated travel mug I guess.)
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Old 11-13-2013, 06:42 PM
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Originally Posted by My3cents View Post
I don't know if I agree with their own germs are not harmful to them. Have you ever left a cup out over night and then look to find what is growing in it? Even water- It is from the back up of what is the mouth and floating around your enviroment. I agree with you about having water available at all times, but not left out and not to graze on, same with food. If a child is thirsty and ask, then great. I will offer them water.
Ewww... no I haven't done that LOL!

I dump and refill if it's been awhile. Clean water, ladies!! Trust me.

So anyway, I'm pretty much done here. I'm water-logged.

ETA: ...except for the next posting. Guess I lied... hee hee hee
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