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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Kid Acts Totally Different at Daycare
adnilwis 08:32 PM 07-28-2016
So I've had this dcg since she has been 6 weeks old. She will be 2 at the end of August. She has never been affectionate with me. Doesn't sit on my lap, doesn't bring me objects to show me, doesn't just come up to me and give me hugs. I asked mom today how she is with cuddles etc. at home. Mom said she cuddles with them and sits on their laps while reading books and will hug relatives. She squirms and whines when someone tries to hug her at daycare. Has anyone dealt with this behavior where the child is totally different at daycare then what their parents say they are like at home? There is more stuff too that we've discussed and she's just a totally different kid at home than for me. Maybe it's because she is an only child? She has very rarely given mom or dad a hug or asked to be held when they come to get her every night.
Blackcat31 05:30 AM 07-29-2016
Originally Posted by adnilwis:
So I've had this dcg since she has been 6 weeks old. She will be 2 at the end of August. She has never been affectionate with me. Doesn't sit on my lap, doesn't bring me objects to show me, doesn't just come up to me and give me hugs. I asked mom today how she is with cuddles etc. at home. Mom said she cuddles with them and sits on their laps while reading books and will hug relatives. She squirms and whines when someone tries to hug her at daycare. Has anyone dealt with this behavior where the child is totally different at daycare then what their parents say they are like at home? There is more stuff too that we've discussed and she's just a totally different kid at home than for me. Maybe it's because she is an only child? She has very rarely given mom or dad a hug or asked to be held when they come to get her every night.
A couple things..So I've had this dcg since she has been 6 weeks old. She will be 2 at the end of August. She has never been affectionate with me. Doesn't sit on my lap, doesn't bring me objects to show me, doesn't just come up to me and give me hugs. I asked mom today how she is with cuddles etc. at home. Mom said she cuddles with them and sits on their laps while reading books and will hug relatives. She squirms and whines when someone tries to hug her at daycare. Has anyone dealt with this behavior where the child is totally different at daycare then what their parents say they are like at home? There is more stuff too that we've discussed and she's just a totally different kid at home than for me. Maybe it's because she is an only child? She has very rarely given mom or dad a hug or asked to be held when they come to get her every night.
Mom/dad stories of "how" a child is at home almost always vary greatly compared to what we see.
The environments are two totally different environments so two totally different behaviors are expected from some
You are a different person than mom/dad and her reaction or actions towards each adult caregiver in her life will probably see different things since each relationship is unique and different.
As for her not being a physically affectionate kid...I don't see that as odd either. I've had kids over the years that didn't hug or snuggle with me a single second of their time here. Just like some kids are extremely affectionate and physical, there are some that are the exact opposite.
If she is meeting all the other developmental milestones I wouldn't worry about it at all but you CAN practice activities that help her read and understand emotions and facial expressions in others.
At 2, she is still pretty young to understand perspective but I don't think its a bad thing to incorporate some type of empathy or emotion type activity during the day. Role modeling would probably make an impact too.
adnilwis 05:38 AM 07-29-2016
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
A couple things..
Mom/dad stories of "how" a child is at home almost always vary greatly compared to what we see.
The environments are two totally different environments so two totally different behaviors are expected from some
You are a different person than mom/dad and her reaction or actions towards each adult caregiver in her life will probably see different things since each relationship is unique and different.
As for her not being a physically affectionate kid...I don't see that as odd either. I've had kids over the years that didn't hug or snuggle with me a single second of their time here. Just like some kids are extremely affectionate and physical, there are some that are the exact opposite.
If she is meeting all the other developmental milestones I wouldn't worry about it at all but you CAN practice activities that help her read and understand emotions and facial expressions in others.
At 2, she is still pretty young to understand perspective but I don't think its a bad thing to incorporate some type of empathy or emotion type activity during the day. Role modeling would probably make an impact too.
A couple things..
Mom/dad stories of "how" a child is at home almost always vary greatly compared to what we see.
The environments are two totally different environments so two totally different behaviors are expected from some
You are a different person than mom/dad and her reaction or actions towards each adult caregiver in her life will probably see different things since each relationship is unique and different.
As for her not being a physically affectionate kid...I don't see that as odd either. I've had kids over the years that didn't hug or snuggle with me a single second of their time here. Just like some kids are extremely affectionate and physical, there are some that are the exact opposite.
If she is meeting all the other developmental milestones I wouldn't worry about it at all but you CAN practice activities that help her read and understand emotions and facial expressions in others.
At 2, she is still pretty young to understand perspective but I don't think its a bad thing to incorporate some type of empathy or emotion type activity during the day. Role modeling would probably make an impact too.
Great points and I did see another thread saying the same thing about how kids want to be with their parents so they will after different at daycare. I've never seen the affection toward themy though other than a smile. I do try to work on emotions with her and smile at her to see what she does. She won't very often if at all. I've also tickled her and she will smile but not long. Thanks for your feedback.
adnilwis 05:57 AM 07-29-2016
The only time I've seen with her parents outside of my home daycare is at my son's birthday party. It was at a daycare center so still had toys etc. But her parents were there with her. She seemed pretty distant from them and wasn't on their laps at all or holding her. They were always right by her on the floor while she played though. I'm not saying mom's lying nor am I saying there is something wrong with her I'm just noting what I've seen here and when I've seen her with her parents. But I have yet to see her at her house.
daycarediva 10:50 AM 07-29-2016
Is it their only child?
I take what a parent says the child does at home with a grain of salt.
Do you have any other concerns with her development? I have a child I believe is on the spectrum- not affectionate, no eye contact, doesn't seem attached to anyone, really. He doesn't even seem to recognize when the parent arrives and does nothing to acknowledge them. But the parents tell a completely different story.
I take what a parent says the child does at home with a grain of salt.
Do you have any other concerns with her development? I have a child I believe is on the spectrum- not affectionate, no eye contact, doesn't seem attached to anyone, really. He doesn't even seem to recognize when the parent arrives and does nothing to acknowledge them. But the parents tell a completely different story.
adnilwis 11:01 AM 07-29-2016
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
Is it their only child?
I take what a parent says the child does at home with a grain of salt.
Do you have any other concerns with her development? I have a child I believe is on the spectrum- not affectionate, no eye contact, doesn't seem attached to anyone, really. He doesn't even seem to recognize when the parent arrives and does nothing to acknowledge them. But the parents tell a completely different story.
Yes it's their only child. She has very minimal eye contact with me (mom says differently at home) and very rarely responds to her name. Her dad says it at least three times every morning to get her to say bye to him and sometimes even then she won't and dad just shrugs it off like "oh you don't want to say bye?" She will acknowledge Dad when he picks up but then runs away from him to go get her bag. No affection. She's not affectionate with anyone here but will interact minimally with other children. She doesn't really seem highly attached to anyone. Mom says she does give relatives hugs. I had her hug my niece today and she just extended her head forward so there was some affection but very minimal.Is it their only child?
I take what a parent says the child does at home with a grain of salt.
Do you have any other concerns with her development? I have a child I believe is on the spectrum- not affectionate, no eye contact, doesn't seem attached to anyone, really. He doesn't even seem to recognize when the parent arrives and does nothing to acknowledge them. But the parents tell a completely different story.
I've brought up all of this with mom and dad and she's not like it at home at all.
sahm1225 08:50 PM 07-29-2016
Originally Posted by adnilwis:
Yes it's their only child. She has very minimal eye contact with me (mom says differently at home) and very rarely responds to her name. Her dad says it at least three times every morning to get her to say bye to him and sometimes even then she won't and dad just shrugs it off like "oh you don't want to say bye?" She will acknowledge Dad when he picks up but then runs away from him to go get her bag. No affection. She's not affectionate with anyone here but will interact minimally with other children. She doesn't really seem highly attached to anyone. Mom says she does give relatives hugs. I had her hug my niece today and she just extended her head forward so there was some affection but very minimal.
I've brought up all of this with mom and dad and she's not like it at home at all.
It could be because at home she's more comfortable. It could also be that the parents are in denial and making excuses for her (oh she's too tired/hungry/happy to hug me right now). Yes it's their only child. She has very minimal eye contact with me (mom says differently at home) and very rarely responds to her name. Her dad says it at least three times every morning to get her to say bye to him and sometimes even then she won't and dad just shrugs it off like "oh you don't want to say bye?" She will acknowledge Dad when he picks up but then runs away from him to go get her bag. No affection. She's not affectionate with anyone here but will interact minimally with other children. She doesn't really seem highly attached to anyone. Mom says she does give relatives hugs. I had her hug my niece today and she just extended her head forward so there was some affection but very minimal.
I've brought up all of this with mom and dad and she's not like it at home at all.
Either way, I would just keep an eye on her to see if there's any other delays that concern me.
But to answer your question about kids being totally different t at home - I have had dcb7 since he was 1. At daycare, he falls asleep the second his head hits the cot. I can pick up the cot to move him to vacuum and he won't wake up. At home, he is such a light sleeper that he would wake up if anyone went to the bathroom
I also have his sister dcg2. She puts herself to sleep and will
Sleep the whole 2 hours and sometimes even more. At home, she needs a bottle and to be rocked to sleep! She told me no more baba when she turned 13 months. At home she's a princess
daycarediva 04:09 PM 07-30-2016
Originally Posted by adnilwis:
Yes it's their only child. She has very minimal eye contact with me (mom says differently at home) and very rarely responds to her name. Her dad says it at least three times every morning to get her to say bye to him and sometimes even then she won't and dad just shrugs it off like "oh you don't want to say bye?" She will acknowledge Dad when he picks up but then runs away from him to go get her bag. No affection. She's not affectionate with anyone here but will interact minimally with other children. She doesn't really seem highly attached to anyone. Mom says she does give relatives hugs. I had her hug my niece today and she just extended her head forward so there was some affection but very minimal.
I've brought up all of this with mom and dad and she's not like it at home at all.
How she behaves with her parent present is a good indicator of her typical behavior. If she never makes eye contact, seems upset that they leave, gets excited for them to be there, etc she most likely doesn't at home, either.Yes it's their only child. She has very minimal eye contact with me (mom says differently at home) and very rarely responds to her name. Her dad says it at least three times every morning to get her to say bye to him and sometimes even then she won't and dad just shrugs it off like "oh you don't want to say bye?" She will acknowledge Dad when he picks up but then runs away from him to go get her bag. No affection. She's not affectionate with anyone here but will interact minimally with other children. She doesn't really seem highly attached to anyone. Mom says she does give relatives hugs. I had her hug my niece today and she just extended her head forward so there was some affection but very minimal.
I've brought up all of this with mom and dad and she's not like it at home at all.
adnilwis 12:27 PM 08-01-2016
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
How she behaves with her parent present is a good indicator of her typical behavior. If she never makes eye contact, seems upset that they leave, gets excited for them to be there, etc she most likely doesn't at home, either.
Great points. She has never once cared her parents dropped her off. Never has cried. She will smile at Dad when he comes to get her but shows no affection and once he picks her up she doesn't look at him. But like I said Mom says it differently and doesn't get why she doesn't do them here. I've even told her about the lack of eye contact and name response that I see with Dad when he drops off.How she behaves with her parent present is a good indicator of her typical behavior. If she never makes eye contact, seems upset that they leave, gets excited for them to be there, etc she most likely doesn't at home, either.
EntropyControlSpecialist 10:42 AM 08-02-2016
That's all very odd.
1 year: http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/m...tones-1yr.html
2 year: http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/m...tones-2yr.html
1 year: http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/m...tones-1yr.html
2 year: http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/m...tones-2yr.html
adnilwis 10:53 AM 08-02-2016
I looked at those milestone lists. She does not know what to do with a comb unless she sees someone else use it correctly first. She will copy and repeat words she hears and from familiar songs. She is interested in other children(watches them) but doesn't seem to show she enjoys being by them. She very rarely smiles and laughs here. Like I said before not assuming or saying something is wrong she's just always been an odd child to me.
Blackcat31 11:30 AM 08-02-2016
Originally Posted by adnilwis:
I looked at those milestone lists. She does not know what to do with a comb unless she sees someone else use it correctly first. She will copy and repeat words she hears and from familiar songs. She is interested in other children(watches them) but doesn't seem to show she enjoys being by them. She very rarely smiles and laughs here. Like I said before not assuming or saying something is wrong she's just always been an odd child to me.
She sounds borderline (if not more) Asperger's almost. I looked at those milestone lists. She does not know what to do with a comb unless she sees someone else use it correctly first. She will copy and repeat words she hears and from familiar songs. She is interested in other children(watches them) but doesn't seem to show she enjoys being by them. She very rarely smiles and laughs here. Like I said before not assuming or saying something is wrong she's just always been an odd child to me.
Trouble reading social cues, issues interacting with peers and little to no display of emotion... NOT all kids have the same symptoms and/or traits but from what you've said so far, it seems to point me in that direction.
Here is a good resource http://www.myaspergerschild.com/2011...-toddlers.html