Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Ok...So What Is "Special"?
BigMama 09:08 AM 12-05-2011
So I am obviously still new to this forum but I have been enjoying reading about everyone's experiences in Daycareland. I do have one question for everyone: what is "special?" Providers keep mentioning how they don't do/ do do "special" and about how parents want "special." I get that "special" is whatever is considered above and beyond by that provider, but I am wondering, what do you specifically consider "special"?
Lucy 09:23 AM 12-05-2011
Merry Christmas everyone!!
cheerfuldom 09:49 AM 12-05-2011
well like you said OP, it means different things to different providers. I am very thorough with my paperwork and policies on interviewing. "Special" to me is parents that agree to everything and then after a bit, start expecting or asking for more for just their child, regardless of what the parents originally agreed to or what the other families get or don't get. It's usually the parents that want nanny service on a daycare budget.....they want exceptions to the rule because obviously their child is cuter/better/advanced/more special than anyone else. Its more about the attitude behind the requests.
I don't have a problem with a parent approaching me with their needs and trying to work something out. Actually, I love when parents can do that. What I don't like is the entitlement attitude or worse, the sneaking around and lying in order for their child to receive something better/most/different
It would be wonderful if parents could appreciate things done out of the providers "kindness in their heart" but unfortunately, a lot of parents are not like that. Many parents will receive "special" and immediately get ungrateful or entitled attitudes. They assume one exception means multiple exceptions and are not very happy when the special comes to an end. Thats why many experienced providers won't start it in the first place. I, for one, hate how I rarely can make exceptions because of the knowledge that some parents (not all) will not appreciate it or further, will assume you can do it all the time and will then ask for more and more. I hate having to be so firm with boundaries.....it would be awesome to just work together, appreciate each other and put the child first.
I don't have a problem with a parent approaching me with their needs and trying to work something out. Actually, I love when parents can do that. What I don't like is the entitlement attitude or worse, the sneaking around and lying in order for their child to receive something better/most/different
It would be wonderful if parents could appreciate things done out of the providers "kindness in their heart" but unfortunately, a lot of parents are not like that. Many parents will receive "special" and immediately get ungrateful or entitled attitudes. They assume one exception means multiple exceptions and are not very happy when the special comes to an end. Thats why many experienced providers won't start it in the first place. I, for one, hate how I rarely can make exceptions because of the knowledge that some parents (not all) will not appreciate it or further, will assume you can do it all the time and will then ask for more and more. I hate having to be so firm with boundaries.....it would be awesome to just work together, appreciate each other and put the child first.
MarinaVanessa 10:03 AM 12-05-2011
"special" is any time a client gets something that's out of the norm for a client. It can be specialized care, special food, special activities, leeway with the payment due date, a later closing time, more hours etc.
Meeko 11:13 AM 12-05-2011
It's a word reserved for those parents who think they and their children deserve a completely different set of rules and treatment to everybody else. The ones who think the contract doesn't apply to them and the ones who think their child is so much better than anyone else's and therefore should get preferential treatment. The ones who think they can change the contract according to their whim. The ones who think they employ you. The ones who expect expensive one on one nanny care at very cheap group rates.
It's NOT the parent we CHOOSE to do something nice for.
We use the word a bit sarcastically for those who expect or even demand "special" and then if we DO give in...then expect it all the time.
There are a LOT of them out there!!!!
It's NOT the parent we CHOOSE to do something nice for.
We use the word a bit sarcastically for those who expect or even demand "special" and then if we DO give in...then expect it all the time.
There are a LOT of them out there!!!!
Meeko 11:19 AM 12-05-2011
Originally Posted by Joyce:
The term was started by one of our more ... let's just say ... "opinionated" posters. She thinks any time you make an exception for a family out of the kindness of your heart, that the parent expects you to always do "special" for them.
Take it with a grain of salt.
Joyce...you are very lucky if you have only had stellar clients who have never, ever expected "special" and never put a foot wrong.The term was started by one of our more ... let's just say ... "opinionated" posters. She thinks any time you make an exception for a family out of the kindness of your heart, that the parent expects you to always do "special" for them.
Take it with a grain of salt.
I often do little things out of kindness for my good clients.
But when I say "special" I am being sarcastic about those who expect a lot and give nothing. The kind of client who shows up late regularly, with no regard for my time but complains if she is put out when I take a day off. The one who wants to pay late...but also expects a discount. etc etc.
To the OP...don't take it with a grain of salt. If you do this for any amount of years you WILL come across those who want "special". In other words, they want to walk all over you and treat you like a doormat.
By all means give all you want to great clients. But don't ever give "special" to those who demand it.
Lucy 11:25 AM 12-05-2011
Deleted due to a misunderstanding.
Meeko 11:49 AM 12-05-2011
Originally Posted by Joyce:
Oh my goodness. I didn't know there were invisible words in my post.
That's not at all what I meant, but thanks.
Joyce...I said "if". I wasn't being nasty to you and I don't appreciate the sarcasm. Oh my goodness. I didn't know there were invisible words in my post.
That's not at all what I meant, but thanks.
Your post made it sound as if providers who say "special" are just cranky old woman who don't believe in doing anything special for their clients....so not true.
Your post was an very obvious, sarcastic dig at Nannyde. Is she opinionated? You betcha! And so she should be. So we ALL should be. I don't always agree with every single thing Nannyde says....but I defend her right to say it and admire her confidence.
I am all for sarcastic digs at nameless clients we all have. We come on here to share, support, rant, cry, cheer etc and be friends...even if we don't always agree.
Sarcasm at each other is just not nice.
Lucy 12:07 PM 12-05-2011
Sorry to the OP that this is occuring in your thread. It was certainly not my intention and I won't add anymore.
Kaddidle Care 12:18 PM 12-05-2011
To the OP - Special as others posted - those that feel entitled to MORE, those that feel they are above the rules and exceptions should be made for them because they're "Special".
cheerfuldom 12:27 PM 12-05-2011
Originally Posted by Joyce:
All I was trying to say is that you are reading more into this there was intended.
Sorry to the OP that this is occuring in your thread. It was certainly not my intention and I won't add anymore.
ummm.....I don't see how your original post to the OP was that helpful as it was. Sounded like you took the chance to make a dig about an "opinionated poster". If that is how you feel fine, but don't get all surprised that not everyone else agrees with you or appreciated your approach.All I was trying to say is that you are reading more into this there was intended.
Sorry to the OP that this is occuring in your thread. It was certainly not my intention and I won't add anymore.