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cillybean83 07:07 PM 04-17-2011
would you deal with a baby crying before calling mom or dad to come pick him up? I'm talking about a baby that doesnt have colic, who is fed, changed and totally fine, but will cry 24/7 if not held. Kiddo in question is 6 months old and for lack of a better term...spoiled....admittedly so. Constantly held at home, and 100% fine when held here, but when put in the playpen for a nap, or just so the other child can be tended too, will scream...like ear piercing screams like hes being murdered....and gets the other toddlers all worked up, wakes them up during their nap time, etc etc...I've tried the moby wrap, I've tried the sling...those aren't acceptable apparently this boy wants your undivided attention, constant eye contact, knee bouncing, complete interaction, not just a warm body to snuggle up to...what to do what to do...i feel like a horrible person letting him cry but if he's going to cry regardless, i have to go about my day and give the others their due attention too...kwim??
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laundrymom 02:07 AM 04-18-2011
I DON'T call for crying. Only illness. If this is a daily thing and I couldn't handle it I would give notice. If the child isn't I'll, and I just couldn't handle them I would terminate.
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morgan24 02:44 AM 04-18-2011
I don't know if you are going to be able to break him of that, without his parents getting on board and helping you by not holding him all the time at home. I would either tell the parents that you need to work together to get him to start entertaining himself or you will have to terminate. Give them a couple of weeks to help you out and if it doesn't get any better I would let him go. That makes for a very long and miserable day for you and the other kids when one needs to be coddle constantly.
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Pammie 03:01 AM 04-18-2011
I've never called for a pick-up for a crying baby - for simply crying, not crying because of illness. But I have had to give notice and terminate for incessant crying in several infants over the years.

When it gets to the point that ONE child in the group is demanding so much attention/one-on-one care that it takes away from the care/attention that the rest of my group is receiving, then I have to terminate. It's never easy to do, but I can't have the needs of ONE child consistently take priority over the needs of everyone else...it's not fair to all of the other children. Part of being in "group" daycare - the children have to share "me"

You have to do what's best for you, and for your group as a whole. And ultimately if this little dcb is that upset to scream like that when you put him down, then it's not best for him to remain in your group either.

Just my opinion - good luck in whatever you decide to do!
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cheerfuldom 04:38 AM 04-18-2011
If he is really strong willed, you cannot break this on your own especially with mom and dad continuing this at home. Either you can put up with it long term or you can't. I have termed a few babies for this (one was around 18 months and still hadn't gotten over it). Two I have been able to "break" them of this habit but only because I do put them down and let them cry and there was a place to do that without being disruptive to everyone. It didn't take long with either of these girls (a few weeks each) but they obviously weren't as strong willed as other kids I have had. Maybe they were just smarter and got it sooner. Anyway, you really have to figure out what you can tolerate. Sending home constantly is not the solution, in fact, baby will really like that and may cry harder knowing that mom will show up eventually.
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broncomom1973 05:25 AM 04-18-2011
BTDT and that is why I absolutely refuse to take an infant!! The last baby I had drained me to the point that I no longer desire to care for babies. He was the same.....content if he had one on one attention, but a screaming mess if he didnt. The day I told his mom that she needed to find different care for him was a relief, his last day (a couple of weeks later) was an even bigger relief. I hope these ladies can give you some helpful tips, but my guess is that he isnt going to change anytime soon and it comes down to whether you think you can survive it or if you need to have his parents find alternative care. When I spoke to the mom of this particular baby, I just told her that it wasnt fair to him that I couldnt give him more one on one time and it wasnt fair to the other children that they had to listen to his screams while I was tending to them (lunch, diaper changes, etc.). I even had 2 or 3 kiddos whose parents reported that they started having night terrors around that time and the pediatrician thought it was due to the "screaming baby". I KNOW I had night terrors, lol. Good luck, I really hope you find the answer.
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AnythingsPossible 05:25 AM 04-18-2011
I have a 5 month old who is exactly like this. He only comes 2 days a week though. Mom and I have talked about it and she knows that I can not hold him the whole 10 hours a day here. So he does cry, and I don't feel bad about letting him cry it out, but I do feel bad for all the others who have to listen to him.
I have called her once for his crying because it was over the top. Turned out he had a double ear infection.
Truly, if he were here full time, I would probably have to term them. I don't think it's fair to the other to deal with it. But he is getting better, so that is helpful.
Will your guy sit in an excersaucer? Is he sitting on his own yet? Those are the things that have helped here. My little isn't sitting yet, but sometimes I can put him in the bumbo and he will be content.
Sorry, not a ton of helpful advice, but I feel for you!
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wdmmom 06:37 AM 04-18-2011
I would provide him with his own sleeping area so that he can't bother the other children. Give him about 2 weeks to get into a hard-core routine. If it's not working, I would tell the folks that it's not working out.

If he's never done the ear-piercing screaming before and it's sudden, I would probably send a text or email telling the parents that it's a heads-up that something might be wrong or he could be coming down with something.

I would also ask the parents if he is like that at home and what they do to help him soothe.

Good luck!
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SimpleMom 07:30 AM 04-18-2011
I have had a screamer before It can be tough and yes, it influenced me to stay away from baby care for a couple of years. I still have the little one (almost 5 now). I can only say that if you stick it out and can handle the crying and/or holding them for a while longer it is so worth it to see them grow!! What a calm, content child I have now (after one yr old, it changed dramatically).

I would just hold them as much as possible and let them cry when you need to make lunch and stuff. Keep them close by and provide them with some cool and interesting toys they don't see any other time of the day. Give them a leg to hold on to and stuff when you can't hold them. It's a little bit of work, but that's what I do here. It doesn't bother me too much...not saying it's all that easy, but it goes by so fast anyway--that first year or two.

Otherwise, I would say you may need to terminate At 6 months, this little one is probably going to get better or not. They may just be really sensitive and need a lot of reassurance, too, never know--right?

Good luck. Oh and yes, I have called for crying when it's hard on the group. Paren't all know I do this and are very much ok with it. They would rather I call than not. Have only had to call twice in 5 years, but that doesn't mean calling more often would be bad either. Could you try having them there less often? I'm not sure what schedule you have, but maybe doing three full days or 5 half days or something like that while the stage of excessive crying runs it's course might help?
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jen 07:37 AM 04-18-2011
I don't call for crying babies either...
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cillybean83 08:51 AM 04-18-2011
gah, i haven't called over crying, and i would really, really prefer not to...it's just that sometimes I feel like it is SO UNFAIR to everyone else in the group...and clearly the one who needs to be removed is the one causing the disruption....then i feel guilty for feeling that way because he's just a *baby*...kwim??

I did talk with mom this morning, I told her that little boy is pretty high maintenence here, and I wanted her to know that I make sure all his needs are met 100%...diapers, feedings, etc, and I make sure he gets an ample amount of one on one interaction with me, and that he's included in group time with the others, but that due to his constant need for affection, that there will be times when he has to be put in the playpen so I can tend to the others, and that during these times he will more than likely cry...a lot. I asked her if she was cool with that, because it isn't that the crying itself bothers me, it's the gnawing guilt of leaving a crying baby in a a playpen while taking the others to the playroom...she said she was 100% fine, that she appreciated me talking with her about it, and to not feel guilty...and she would get gramma (who lives with them) to put him down in the evenings to help out.
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PeanutsGalore 10:09 AM 04-18-2011
Well that sounds like there's hope then! I'm glad the mom is ok with letting him cry when you can't hold him. I can't see how any mother can successfully tell a grandma to put down her grandbaby though! They probably have a lot of fun together.

Good luck with it all. It's a good thing you can handle the crying because maybe you won't need to term.
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