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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Term Yesterday, Need Advice!!
Unregistered 05:49 AM 03-09-2011
I have a 15 month old who I have had since he was 9 months old. He has ALWAYS been a difficult child since he started with me. He has HORRIBLE separation anxiety and always has. He will scream his head off if I even turn my back on him. It stresses my kids and my dc kids out a lot. Even when he was just crawling he was constantly hitting and hurting people. I brushed it off as he's a baby and doesn't understand, but I still tried to redirect him or tell him no multiple times. Now fast forward to him walking around, he has got to be a MAJOR bully. He hits kids every single day all day long.

I have tried redirection, time outs, (which I know, he's WAY too young to understand) firmly saying no, just everything I can think of! I have never had a kid in my care be so violent! Yesterday I finally decided that enough was enough. He threw a toy laptop at one of my DCB who is two, not once but right after he had just got talked to about doing it! I gave them term papers stating that they had two weeks to find alternative care. Today she was civil at drop off, which shocked me because she had a lot of attitude yesterday and "unfriended" me on fb. (lol) BUT, I don't think I can take another thing from this kid. This morning since he got here at 6:45am he has hit every single kids, threw toys 3 times at others, and BIT my 8 month old.

I am just FED up. I seriously want to call the mom and say to come get him and I am done. She has broke MANY policies in my parent handbook which in my contract says you must follow. So, I don't think she could get me for breaking contract. But would I be horrible if I called and threw in the towel already? Please help ladies, I need some advice. I feel horrible, but he is not only driving me crazy, but also my dc kids, my kids, my husband, my other dc parents! I should have termed A LONG time ago but I know his mom basically puts him to bed an hour or two after she gets him home from my house so I wanted to keep trying to work with him! She was on state assistance until the end of December and he was here 55 hours plus/week but now that she has to pay he is here his 35 hours a week minimum. So to me she was using the system I'm sure! I never asked what she was doing when she dropped him off because it's no my business; she has a job where she wears her street clothes so it's not like I would be able to tell what she was doing.
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Little People 06:12 AM 03-09-2011
I have this in my handbook;

Termination Policy:

Provider may terminate the contract at will without notice.

You are required to give two-week’s written notice when you decide to terminate child care. Termination letters are accepted on Fridays only. The two weeks will be paid in full, regardless of whether or not your child is in attendance. If it should be necessary to go to court over nonpayment of fees owed for services owed to provider plus all late fees (until bill is paid) court and attorney fees will be added on to your bill. Termination notice will not be accepted while provider or parents are on vacation.

I have really worked on my handbook, with reading everyone's posts on here about there problems. I would copy what other posters said they used in there HB and it took me a couple of months, but I do believe I now have a great HB, that covers all my basis. HTH
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momofboys 06:14 AM 03-09-2011
I think if you have documented the bad behavior that you have a right to term with no notice or very-little notice. This child is causing major stress in your daycare. How do the other parents feel about the child (or do they even know there is a very aggressive child?). I would let them know they have til the end of the week. LOL about her unfriending you on FB!
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Blackcat31 06:16 AM 03-09-2011
I also have a clause in my contract that says a child/family can be terminated without notice if they are a danger to others. I'd say he is dangerous to others....(although he is only a toddler) but if I were a parent of the other kids who are on the recieving end of his actions, I'd be a bit peeved that the child is still there....
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cillybean83 06:23 AM 03-09-2011
i would just separate him from the group. My own son is 15 months and he has his moments where he really just doesn't deserve to be part of the group, so he gets removed for a while. He isn't a biter and he doesn't hit but he is a total whiner, cries if anyone just touches him...he's mine, and I love him, but seriously...it's too much for the daycare kids to deal with him sometimes so he has to GUGO (get up, get out!) lol

So, if you can't just remove him from the situation, then go ahead and tell his mom to come get him...she's going to have a hard time keeping a provider!
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missnikki 06:24 AM 03-09-2011
Blackcat, I agree.

If my child went to your care and you did not handle aggression or violence immediately, I'd be looking elsewhere.

They pay you to protect their babies. Call the mom and require immediate pickup. Explain that you have tried to address the issue, and it is not resolving itself. No apologies, and stay professional.

Don't blame yourself.
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SandeeAR 06:30 AM 03-09-2011
I think you did the right thing in terming. I agree, Sounds like you should have termed a long time ago.

I think you are asking for ways to deal with the 15 mo for the next two weeks. Did I read that right?

Can you keep him in a pak-n-play most of the time he is up? That way the other kiddos would be safe? Right now you need to think about what is best for the other kiddos and not focus on the rights of the termed kid, JMHO.

You don't want to lose the current kiddos b/c the termed one hurts them.
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nannyde 06:43 AM 03-09-2011
Do you have room for his own play yard? Do you own one?
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nannyde 06:48 AM 03-09-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I have never had a kid in my care be so violent!

This morning since he got here at 6:45am he has hit every single kids, threw toys 3 times at others, and BIT my 8 month old.
If you are going to be in the business of child care you best get used to violent babies. Babies nowadays are overwhelmed with stimulation, motion, and too much adult attention.

When the daycare providers kids are the target the risk of the provider becoming overwhelmed is TOO HIGH. It's time to term him now.
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Unregistered 07:10 AM 03-09-2011
Thank you ladies. I appreciate all the honest responses. Right now I have him in the playroom by himself with it gated off. My daughter asked if dcb and dcg could come play in her room with her and since that's the only time I allow dck in there is when she invites, I RAN with the opportunity! He has his pack n play and I put him in there A LOT, which then makes him scream his head off for at least 20 minutes straight everytime. Which I can handle, I'd rather hear him scream then hurt others. He might be a toddler but he is one STRONG one. My dc parents get annoyed with his screaming/crying and have mentioned many times how they don't understand why he does that! I just smile it off. One dc dads will literally leave as fast as he possibly can when dcb is doing his meltdown...my husband laughs and says he gets faster everytime! SO, I know that everyone is going to be a lot happier. I honestly feel horrible. I am his third daycare already. His first one claimed she couldn't work with their hours, the second was honest and just said he wasn't working out because she can't hold him all day or handle the screaming. My husband is so happy he's basically throwing a party that he will be gone. I know this is what is best! His parents have always been my PITA parents. Two weeks ago they were furious I wouldn't let him come until he was on antibiotics for 24 hours when he had bronchitious! lol I'm so mean I know. Now it's just deciding whether I should tell her today I am completely done or wait it out two weeks. I really appreciate you all because you make me feel like I'm not a jerk! (can you tell this is my first term?)
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Unregistered 02:34 PM 03-09-2011
He is not the last child you will have who needs instruction and modeling in gentle touch and speech. Its too bad and too late here, but this will come up again.

You are not doing him any good holding out for the week.
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Tags:handbook, policy - termination, termination policy
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