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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Feel Like I'm About To Lose My Mind-Sorry For The Rant
Sunny Day 01:51 PM 03-08-2011
To all you other in home daycare providers who are also stay at home moms, do you ever just get so sick of all the little mundane things you have to do EVERY day that you think you're going to lose your mind? I live in Canada, we've had snow and below freezing weather for MONTHS, the kids have been sick pretty much all winter and I feel like if I look down and see that my floor needs to be swept ONE MORE TIME I am going to have to drive myself straight to the loony bin. My husband is gone 11 hours out of the day and I feel so isolated, I can hardly stand it. I just feel like because I do daycare my house is destroyed every day (I'm sure you all relate: its not like I leave all day for work and can come back to my house in the same condition it was when I left it) and then I have to clean up the daycare mess for my family, make supper then clean that all up and the rest of the mess my family makes for the daycare kids in the morning...ugh, I'm just done. My husband is wonderful and really tries to help, but there is only so much he can do when he is gone all day! Tonight at the end of the day I just cried. I'm sorry, just really looking for some support right now because after the day I had I'm ready to lock my doors....
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nikia 02:00 PM 03-08-2011
Originally Posted by Sunny Day:
To all you other in home daycare providers who are also stay at home moms, do you ever just get so sick of all the little mundane things you have to do EVERY day that you think you're going to lose your mind? I live in Canada, we've had snow and below freezing weather for MONTHS, the kids have been sick pretty much all winter and I feel like if I look down and see that my floor needs to be swept ONE MORE TIME I am going to have to drive myself straight to the loony bin. My husband is gone 11 hours out of the day and I feel so isolated, I can hardly stand it. I just feel like because I do daycare my house is destroyed every day (I'm sure you all relate: its not like I leave all day for work and can come back to my house in the same condition it was when I left it) and then I have to clean up the daycare mess for my family, make supper then clean that all up and the rest of the mess my family makes for the daycare kids in the morning...ugh, I'm just done. My husband is wonderful and really tries to help, but there is only so much he can do when he is gone all day! Tonight at the end of the day I just cried. I'm sorry, just really looking for some support right now because after then day I had I'm ready to lock my doors....

I cried at naptime you are not alone. I think its winter I am so sick of winter and now we have more snow coming tonight. Are your own children older that they can help a bit? I have my 6 and 7 year old help me with dinner and dishes and cleaning Im a bit of a warden

I had the same kind of day as you and I just want to close up shop I am hoping its the winter blues.... you are not alone hugs tomorrow is another day Im not sure if that is a good thing for me
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Sunny Day 02:02 PM 03-08-2011
Originally Posted by nikia:
I cried at naptime you are not alone. I think its winter I am so sick of winter and now we have more snow coming tonight. Are your own children older that they can help a bit? I have my 6 and 7 year old help me with dinner and dishes and cleaning Im a bit of a warden

I had the same kind of day as you and I just want to close up shop I am hoping its the winter blues.... you are not alone hugs tomorrow is another day Im not sure if that is a good thing for me
Thanks No my kids aren't older, my daughter just turned 3 and I'm 32 weeks prego with the next one...loony bin here I come!
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SilverSabre25 02:09 PM 03-08-2011
That's how I'm feeling right now. Not really daycare related stress though...marital stress mostly. Seriously, husbands are over-rated sometimes. I'm sick of winter and parents who don't want me taking their kid outside because high 40's is "too cold" (in freaking Ohio...) and if my DH gets on my case about the kitchen being a mess ONE more time, when he doesn't even put food away after he gets it out, I'm going to check into the loony bin in the room next door to you Sunny! I have a 3 yo girl and I'm 28 weeks pregnant with my second also. I'm right there with ya!
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DCMomOf3 02:15 PM 03-08-2011
Oh, I feel your pain. I do 98% of everything and 100% of my kids care and activities. It's hard. Damned hard.
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daycare 02:15 PM 03-08-2011
i am a neat freak and I before I started doing DC I always had to have my house clean before I could even think about sitting down to go to bed.

Now, I give up... lol I make sure all the food is put away and anything that could be dangerous cleaned up... I get up early in the morning and clean the house. This way, everything is perfect for my day to start.

My husband is gone all week so I have no help with anything. You have to realize that cleaning house is like rolling a rock up hill, it's always going to roll back down, just so you have to push it up again....

leave some things be and find a momnent to relax and do something for yourself. the mess is not going anywhere and stressing about it will only make matters worse...

hope your day gets better!!!
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treehugger82 02:28 PM 03-08-2011
Hugs and sending "keep your sanity" vibes to OP and you other ladies who are feeling the same
It has been a looong winter here in Michigan, and I have had those days myself. Was just recently talking to another provider in the same town as me....she was losing it that day too.....
Maybe we could get a group rate at the loony bin!
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SilverSabre25 02:29 PM 03-08-2011
Originally Posted by treehugger82:
Hugs and sending "keep your sanity" vibes to OP and you other ladies who are feeling the same
It has been a looong winter here in Michigan, and I have had those days myself. Was just recently talking to another provider in the same town as me....she was losing it that day too.....
Maybe we could get a group rate at the loony bin!
I think maybe we need to reopen discussion of that cruise that was discussed a couple months back? That would be a nice floating loony bin for us all to check into...
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nikia 02:31 PM 03-08-2011
Originally Posted by treehugger82:
Hugs and sending "keep your sanity" vibes to OP and you other ladies who are feeling the same
It has been a looong winter here in Michigan, and I have had those days myself. Was just recently talking to another provider in the same town as me....she was losing it that day too.....
Maybe we could get a group rate at the loony bin!
group rate theres an idea
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DCMomOf3 02:45 PM 03-08-2011
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
I think maybe we need to reopen discussion of that cruise that was discussed a couple months back? That would be a nice floating loony bin for us all to check into...
that would be divine.
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ammama 03:11 PM 03-08-2011
I feel this way many days too - last week I had my low point. I just wanted to scream, and cry - mostly over the weather I think. 32 weeks pregnant is tiring anyway. I'm only 24 weeks right now, and i'm starting to feel it. I can't wait for spring to hit - this freezing winter is so depressing. Hope you're feeling a bit better soon. Maybe just hire a sitter one evening so you can go out with your friends and relax
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PeanutsGalore 03:33 PM 03-08-2011
YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

By the time I was done working and cleaning yesterday, I fed myself, dosed up on the ibuprofen, and crawled into bed at 11:43pm.

Summer will be here soon, and that will, hopefully, help. At least we'll be able to open the windows up!
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Symphony 03:46 PM 03-08-2011
Last Friday, I gave my last dcb a big hug and a have a good weekend, I shut my door, and sat on the couch and bawled my eyes out. There are just days when I look around at the sheer disaster area, knowing everything that needs done before bed, just to get up and do it all over.

I have four kids and one on the way. My older kids do help out. That is really nice. I used to feel guilty asking for their help, but I decided having a daycare is what is best for our family, and having everyone pitch in here and there is part of being a family.
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sahm2three 04:06 PM 03-08-2011
Originally Posted by Sunny Day:
To all you other in home daycare providers who are also stay at home moms, do you ever just get so sick of all the little mundane things you have to do EVERY day that you think you're going to lose your mind? I live in Canada, we've had snow and below freezing weather for MONTHS, the kids have been sick pretty much all winter and I feel like if I look down and see that my floor needs to be swept ONE MORE TIME I am going to have to drive myself straight to the loony bin. My husband is gone 11 hours out of the day and I feel so isolated, I can hardly stand it. I just feel like because I do daycare my house is destroyed every day (I'm sure you all relate: its not like I leave all day for work and can come back to my house in the same condition it was when I left it) and then I have to clean up the daycare mess for my family, make supper then clean that all up and the rest of the mess my family makes for the daycare kids in the morning...ugh, I'm just done. My husband is wonderful and really tries to help, but there is only so much he can do when he is gone all day! Tonight at the end of the day I just cried. I'm sorry, just really looking for some support right now because after the day I had I'm ready to lock my doors....
Yep! I feel like I can never get ahead! There is always 100 things that I need to be doing! My hubby likes to THINK he is helping, but he is as bad as the kids. I hate having to ask for their help. Why can't they just SEE what needs to be done! They see how I keep house, so they have to see when things aren't as they should be. Why can't they just help without me having to constantly ask?! That is where I am at. I feel like a maid, cook, nanny, and daycare provider for other kids. Oh, don't forget chauffer, house keeper, tutor, and on and on. I am at the point where I just don't feel like the work load is even, and it is making me resentful. Ugh. I feel ya. I could have written your post for sure! Maybe the fact that you aren't alone will make you feel better? Sometimes misery just loves company! Hugs!
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daycare 04:21 PM 03-08-2011
I know that some men (not my husband) but some men that I know think that I should assume all of the household chores and the kids because I am home all day. They have NO idea what it is like to care for our own kids let alone others. They see it as assuming the role of a house wife...

ugh
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ninosqueridos 06:04 PM 03-08-2011
My kitchen used to stay clean before daycare.
My floor was always clean before daycare.
Pots washed and put away.
Clothes set out the night before.
Laundry done.
Time for myself.
Time for DH.

EVERYTHING WENT OUT THE WINDOW since I started daycare.

I used to try to keep up in the beginning. I have a very helpful and understanding husband, but sometimes that ONE comment, "you didn't check his homework yet?" can send me to the bathroom in tears. Hang in there - you are most certainly not alone.
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boysx5 06:52 AM 03-09-2011
since I"m a neat freak and OCD I get up each morning at five am and clean I do most of the daycare in the basement so I don't have it all over my house. Before lunch we clean the basement up while down there I will do laundry and then after daycare fold and put it away. During nap time I clean up lunch stuff and maybe will clean a bathroom or two I do it everyday so it doesn't pile up but its a neverending job. I also have five sons who love to make messes but with them at school each day the house doesn't get too bad.
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MN Mom 07:27 AM 03-09-2011
Originally Posted by Sunny Day:
To all you other in home daycare providers who are also stay at home moms, do you ever just get so sick of all the little mundane things you have to do EVERY day that you think you're going to lose your mind? I live in Canada, we've had snow and below freezing weather for MONTHS, the kids have been sick pretty much all winter and I feel like if I look down and see that my floor needs to be swept ONE MORE TIME I am going to have to drive myself straight to the loony bin. My husband is gone 11 hours out of the day and I feel so isolated, I can hardly stand it. I just feel like because I do daycare my house is destroyed every day (I'm sure you all relate: its not like I leave all day for work and can come back to my house in the same condition it was when I left it) and then I have to clean up the daycare mess for my family, make supper then clean that all up and the rest of the mess my family makes for the daycare kids in the morning...ugh, I'm just done. My husband is wonderful and really tries to help, but there is only so much he can do when he is gone all day! Tonight at the end of the day I just cried. I'm sorry, just really looking for some support right now because after the day I had I'm ready to lock my doors....

I am a married SAHM who occasionally babysits. I 100% understand what you are going through! I am in Minnesota, and we've been cold and frozen for months with no end in sight. I have started to treat myself to special things on weekends, and have been doing so for over a month now. WOW! What a difference it has made in my attitude! So far I have: had a massage, got my hair cut, colored and eyebrows waxed, bought new make-up (I haven't worn makeup in YEARS), bought a new purse and scarf to match, AND I made a new (guy) friend and we have been out twice now to talk philosophy and books. The guy friend is the coolest part because a) I have a friend who is NOT a little and b) My husband is insanely jealous and pays extra attention to me *nudge nudge, wink wink*
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dEHmom 07:31 AM 03-09-2011
Originally Posted by Sunny Day:
To all you other in home daycare providers who are also stay at home moms, do you ever just get so sick of all the little mundane things you have to do EVERY day that you think you're going to lose your mind? I live in Canada, we've had snow and below freezing weather for MONTHS, the kids have been sick pretty much all winter and I feel like if I look down and see that my floor needs to be swept ONE MORE TIME I am going to have to drive myself straight to the loony bin. My husband is gone 11 hours out of the day and I feel so isolated, I can hardly stand it. I just feel like because I do daycare my house is destroyed every day (I'm sure you all relate: its not like I leave all day for work and can come back to my house in the same condition it was when I left it) and then I have to clean up the daycare mess for my family, make supper then clean that all up and the rest of the mess my family makes for the daycare kids in the morning...ugh, I'm just done. My husband is wonderful and really tries to help, but there is only so much he can do when he is gone all day! Tonight at the end of the day I just cried. I'm sorry, just really looking for some support right now because after the day I had I'm ready to lock my doors....
HI to my IDENTICAL twin!

I had a meltdown 2 days ago. DH just kept saying what's wrong with you, why are you crying? lol.

i know what you mean. I've had a few days where it seems I clean up, and you can't even tell. I clean this, and while i'm doing that this gets all messed up again.
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dEHmom 07:34 AM 03-09-2011
Originally Posted by daycare:
You have to realize that cleaning house is like rolling a rock up hill, it's always going to roll back down, just so you have to push it up again....
leave some things be and find a momnent to relax and do something for yourself. the mess is not going anywhere and stressing about it will only make matters worse...
Good point!

Here's what I did about a month ago...

If I didn't want to clean it, I threw it away! Lessening the load.



Definition of a Mom/Childcare Provider n. chef, baker, janitor, sock and shoe finder, coat buttoner, boot fitter, bottle washer, grocery shopper, diaper changer, protector, dish washer, nose wiper, vegetable pusher, floor sweeper, waiter, story teller, playground attendant, PE teacher, activity director, driver, zoo keeper, inspector, aerobics instructor, tutor, entertainer, therapist, manager, derby instructor, performer, bookkeeper, self-esteem builder, teacher, helper, well wisher, nurse, traffic controller, noise controller, life saver, thinker, problem solver, engineer, designer, counselor, safety instructor, arbitrator, creator, inventor, companion, musician, historian, technician, dietitian, athlete, beautician, fire marshall, analyst, artist, dentist, scientist, biologist, technologist, accountant, manicurist, receptionist, environmentalist, pharmacist, hygienist, speech therapist, reader, builder, informer, composer, supervisor, author, navigator, peacemaker, chauffeur, friend. . . . . . .

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Zoe 07:43 AM 03-09-2011
I'm right there with you! I have no problem with kid clutter, because I put the responsibility for clean up with the kids. My problem is the dirt/dust/dishes/laundry that I have to do. Yes, it has to be done. Yes, it needs to be done over and over. I get that. What I hate is that my husband is a hurricane of mess! It's like he leaves a trail of mess wherever he goes! The 10 years we've been together he's gotten a little better, but it's so frustrating!

I love this man so much, he has such good intentions and in NO WAY wants to make my job harder, but sometimes I don't even want him to come home! Because I know the second he comes home, I have 1 more person to clean up after! As a mom and wife I know that my job truly doesn't end at 5:30. It's a 24/7 job. If I don't clean it, it won't get cleaned. Or if my husband tries to clean, then his clutter doesn't get cleaned. Never ending cycle. It's exhausting!

You're not alone in your frustration!!!!
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treehugger82 03:17 PM 03-09-2011
Originally Posted by dEHmom:
Good point!

Here's what I did about a month ago...

If I didn't want to clean it, I threw it away! Lessening the load.

I've done that before too!

Definition of a Mom/Childcare Provider n. chef, baker, janitor, sock and shoe finder, coat buttoner, boot fitter, bottle washer, grocery shopper, diaper changer, protector, dish washer, nose wiper, vegetable pusher, floor sweeper, waiter, story teller, playground attendant, PE teacher, activity director, driver, zoo keeper, inspector, aerobics instructor, tutor, entertainer, therapist, manager, derby instructor, performer, bookkeeper, self-esteem builder, teacher, helper, well wisher, nurse, traffic controller, noise controller, life saver, thinker, problem solver, engineer, designer, counselor, safety instructor, arbitrator, creator, inventor, companion, musician, historian, technician, dietitian, athlete, beautician, fire marshall, analyst, artist, dentist, scientist, biologist, technologist, accountant, manicurist, receptionist, environmentalist, pharmacist, hygienist, speech therapist, reader, builder, informer, composer, supervisor, author, navigator, peacemaker, chauffeur, friend. . . . . . .
Ahh...so true!!
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SilverSabre25 03:24 PM 03-09-2011
In 24 hours I will be on a MUCH needed 4-day break. Of course, in true over-achiever fashion, I plan to redecorate, reorganize, and repaint a good portion of my house (with DH's help of course). It's still 4 days with no dcks and I can't wait!

Besides, it's easier to keep things neat when I actually have a chance to take the unwanted stuff to Goodwill/Once Upon a Child
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SandeeAR 06:42 AM 03-10-2011
Well, I can tell you there is light at the end of the tunnel. If you are still doing daycare, once YOUR kids are grown and gone, it will get eaiser!

It is just the DH and I. Since I clean the kitchen while they are down at nap and they have a room to themselves to sleep, clean up is only picking up the last of the toys at the end of the day.
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cillybean83 06:56 AM 03-10-2011
i sooo understand where you're coming from. By the time my husband gets home from work I am DONE, I do dishes, laundry, sweep, swiffer, homeschool, change diapers, make bottles, make breakfast, make lunch, play, vacuum, rock babies, make beds, and MORE while he is at work...by the time 3pm is here (he's on a 7-3 shift) I need a NAP or at least a chance to just do NOTHING...what does he say? "I need to rest too, I worked all day"

um...what? YOU worked all day? YOU FIXED COMPUTERS IN A QUIET OFFICE IN A COMFY CHAIR!

He will give the kids and house about an hour a night, if I"m lucky, otherwise he's parked in his recliner playing playstation ALL NIGHT, I get up at 5:30 and go to bed at midnight every. single. night. I get no rest, no sleep because my 15 month old STILL wakes up during the night, and if he doesn't my 8 year old "has a bad dream"

I ask my husband to clean the house and he says "it's clean enough for me!" to get out of having to do anything...and i do EVERYTHING for the kids, 100%...he has given our 15 month old ONE bath, he'll change maybe 1 diaper a day, he kisses them goodnight, and that's his parenting involvement...sometimes he'll watch sportcenter in the playroom and call that playing with the kids.

UGH.......
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sahm2three 07:08 AM 03-10-2011
Originally Posted by cillybean83:
i sooo understand where you're coming from. By the time my husband gets home from work I am DONE, I do dishes, laundry, sweep, swiffer, homeschool, change diapers, make bottles, make breakfast, make lunch, play, vacuum, rock babies, make beds, and MORE while he is at work...by the time 3pm is here (he's on a 7-3 shift) I need a NAP or at least a chance to just do NOTHING...what does he say? "I need to rest too, I worked all day"

um...what? YOU worked all day? YOU FIXED COMPUTERS IN A QUIET OFFICE IN A COMFY CHAIR!

He will give the kids and house about an hour a night, if I"m lucky, otherwise he's parked in his recliner playing playstation ALL NIGHT, I get up at 5:30 and go to bed at midnight every. single. night. I get no rest, no sleep because my 15 month old STILL wakes up during the night, and if he doesn't my 8 year old "has a bad dream"

I ask my husband to clean the house and he says "it's clean enough for me!" to get out of having to do anything...and i do EVERYTHING for the kids, 100%...he has given our 15 month old ONE bath, he'll change maybe 1 diaper a day, he kisses them goodnight, and that's his parenting involvement...sometimes he'll watch sportcenter in the playroom and call that playing with the kids.

UGH.......
Ummmm.....are we married to the same man?! Down to the job?! He always says how he deserves down time when he gets home....I ask all the time when do *I* get MY down time?! If I take a break, I pay for it later because everything is still there for me to do when I am done taking a break! I have all the duties of a daycare provider during the day and also mom duties, cleaning up after work, preparing dinner for my family, cleaning up after dinner, helping with homework, running kids to and from activities and friends houses, bathing kids, more cleaning, preparing for the next day, and then showering myself before bed. I almost never stop moving! UGH! I just wish things were more even!!!
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dEHmom 07:14 AM 03-10-2011
Originally Posted by cillybean83:
i sooo understand where you're coming from. By the time my husband gets home from work I am DONE, I do dishes, laundry, sweep, swiffer, homeschool, change diapers, make bottles, make breakfast, make lunch, play, vacuum, rock babies, make beds, and MORE while he is at work...by the time 3pm is here (he's on a 7-3 shift) I need a NAP or at least a chance to just do NOTHING...what does he say? "I need to rest too, I worked all day"

um...what? YOU worked all day? YOU FIXED COMPUTERS IN A QUIET OFFICE IN A COMFY CHAIR!

He will give the kids and house about an hour a night, if I"m lucky, otherwise he's parked in his recliner playing playstation ALL NIGHT, I get up at 5:30 and go to bed at midnight every. single. night. I get no rest, no sleep because my 15 month old STILL wakes up during the night, and if he doesn't my 8 year old "has a bad dream"

I ask my husband to clean the house and he says "it's clean enough for me!" to get out of having to do anything...and i do EVERYTHING for the kids, 100%...he has given our 15 month old ONE bath, he'll change maybe 1 diaper a day, he kisses them goodnight, and that's his parenting involvement...sometimes he'll watch sportcenter in the playroom and call that playing with the kids.

UGH.......
We sound identical. Although my dh is pretty good at cleaning. He just yells the whole time he's doing it.

My dh also works his butt off, NO ONE works harder or more than my dh lol. So I do feel for him. But it ticks me off that he can't take the kids to their swim classes, or stop at the store in the evening or on way home for me. He's still in training though. My dh used to sit and play games all night, and didn't do much for the kids when they were newborns, once they hit about 2 yrs he got alot more involved because they are more fun at that age he says.

But I just want to mention Cillybean, that you have a lot of resentment in your posts about your dh. And I'm not a therapist (but I've saved 2 marriages!!!!!) but when you talk more about the bad stuff, all you see is the bad stuff.
And a MAJOR thing to always know and remember in a relationship is to save the dirty stuff for the bedroom Seriously though, one thing that saved my dh and I from murdering each other is learning how to talk to each other. The biggest changed happened when we started saying "when you....I FEEL like...." it's not finger pointing, it's simply putting the feelings in there. It makes a big difference.
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cillybean83 07:18 AM 03-10-2011
We couldn't be married to the same man, as my man is too lazy to have taken on a 2nd family! LOL

Now, I'm pretty old school, I don't mind doing the laundry and the cookind and the child rearing as long as he goes to work, cuts the grass, cleans the sink traps, takes out the trash, etc...my MAIN ISSUE lies with his uninvolvement in family activities, the kids, ME, etc...if he wants 2 hours to himself at night, then he needs to be willing to give me EQUAL TIME to myself, and that doesn't mean he keeps sitting on his you-know-what while I'm doing what I wanna be doing...he has to BE ME for those 2 hours, cleaning, playing with the kids, being a PARENT, then the remaining 1-2 hours of the night should be FAMILY TIME where we all do things TOGETHER...to me, that's fair! To him...that's torture, and honestly it's a little hurtful! I've asked him more than once WHY he signed on for a wife and WHY he wanted children, when he doesn't want anything to do with us most of the time! He should have just stayed single and hired a maid!

Sometimes he's great, and involved, but a lot of times he falls into his rut of recliner/ps3...he says it's because he's "old" (45) but I think it's because he's out of shape, and generally lazy.
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cillybean83 07:22 AM 03-10-2011
Originally Posted by dEHmom:
We sound identical. Although my dh is pretty good at cleaning. He just yells the whole time he's doing it.

My dh also works his butt off, NO ONE works harder or more than my dh lol. So I do feel for him. But it ticks me off that he can't take the kids to their swim classes, or stop at the store in the evening or on way home for me. He's still in training though. My dh used to sit and play games all night, and didn't do much for the kids when they were newborns, once they hit about 2 yrs he got alot more involved because they are more fun at that age he says.

But I just want to mention Cillybean, that you have a lot of resentment in your posts about your dh. And I'm not a therapist (but I've saved 2 marriages!!!!!) but when you talk more about the bad stuff, all you see is the bad stuff.
And a MAJOR thing to always know and remember in a relationship is to save the dirty stuff for the bedroom Seriously though, one thing that saved my dh and I from murdering each other is learning how to talk to each other. The biggest changed happened when we started saying "when you....I FEEL like...." it's not finger pointing, it's simply putting the feelings in there. It makes a big difference.
you're right...and when I get on a roll I do have tunnel vision and only see the bad, when on the flipside, my DH is a GOOD MAN. He comes home on time everyday, he might not be too involved but he loves his kids, he isn't a cheater, or a liar, he doesn't drink, he would never lay a finger on me..and I know these are all things NO MAN should EVER do...but the fact is a lot of guys are jerks, and they DO do these things, and my guy never would, and I know I'm blessed to have married a good man, albeit a lazy one! lol

We have had our share of fights, and while I may vent here, at home, and with us...we're in a really good place right now, we've talked a lot of it out, he's trying to do better, i'm trying to let go of the past....i guess i need to try a little harder
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melskids 07:30 AM 03-10-2011
i dont know how i missed this thread before, but i'm just reading it for the first time now, and i'm in tears.

i spent all last weekend crying. i dont even need to tell you all why, cause you all have already said it all. husband, my own kids, daycare, finances, life. i am totally overwhelmed right now.

i know some day i'm gonna look back and miss this. my mother keeps reminding me of that everytime i talk to her. but sheesh, somebody somewhere needs to cut me a little slack.

its great to know i can come here, and realize i'm not so alone.

thanks ladies
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dEHmom 07:37 AM 03-10-2011
Mels kids, I am in a strange place, where all I want to do is cry, but I'm happy and have a lot more energy than I usually do. So I don't know what that means.

And you are so right, I think that's why we all come back to daycare.com daily. I think it's because we are all a big GROUP of friends, maybe even best friends! We can yell at each other, laugh with each other, and even cry with each other!



Cilly, I apologize if I was butting in. I am glad to hear you guys are working together and starting to see eye to eye. And venting is perfectly normal, and allowed I just sort of had the feeling like you were maybe at the end of the road, and were thinking there's no point in trying to save it.
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littlemissmuffet 08:04 AM 03-10-2011
After reading a lot of the comments here, I realize how lucky I am. My hubs often helps without me having to ask - and if I do have to ask, he drops everything he's doing (computer, playstation, etc) to help out right then and there. But then again, I wouldn't have it any other way - I wouldn't put up with someone living here and NOT pulling their weight.
Put your foot down, ladies!
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youretooloud 09:36 AM 03-10-2011
Originally Posted by cillybean83:
Sometimes he's great, and involved, but a lot of times he falls into his rut of recliner/ps3...he says it's because he's "old" (45) but I think it's because he's out of shape, and generally lazy.

45 is not old!!! LOL.

OK, the out of shape makes him old. But, tell him he's hasn't seen "old" yet.

Men are such a pain aren't they? My entire family was sick... but, I still had to work, clean, cook and shop... HE took three days off to rest. My teenager had to go to school AND work... but, apparently men feel sicker than women.
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Unregistered 11:18 AM 03-10-2011
My husband works 10 hours a day (so he is gone 11 total) and works 5 hours 1 weekend a month. I do 100% of the houshold work and about 95% of my son's duties (2 yrs old). I send him to my sisters (and give her a discount on daycare) 1 afternoon a week for 2 hours. Then I make my husband have him for two hours so I have 4 total hours to myself one night a week. Costs me $20 but I do not care! My husband knows it saves us both time, energy, and sanity. Sometimes I get shopping done, sometimes I stay home relaxing until 2 min before my hubs comes home with our little one and then I sneak out and go sit at barnes and noble and read for 2 hours!
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Sunny Day 11:52 AM 03-16-2011
Wow, I'm glad (well not glad, but reassured) others feel the same way! thanks ladies! I just wanted to clarify though that my hubby is definitely NOT part of the problem--I felt bad and really guilty when the thread turned into a husband rant because mine is seriously amazing and tries SO hard that my heart broke for him, even though that wasn't my intention with the thread! (he's gone for 11 hours a day working out of necessity) He goes out of his way to help out and support me, without him I don't know where I would be! lol. I'm so sorry that some of you ladies have husbands that don't help out or will only help out if you yell and scream! I can't even imagine how much harder that would end up being and kudos to you all for keeping it together
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krystamichelle 03:03 PM 03-16-2011
Originally Posted by daycare:
I know that some men (not my husband) but some men that I know think that I should assume all of the household chores and the kids because I am home all day. They have NO idea what it is like to care for our own kids let alone others. They see it as assuming the role of a house wife...

ugh
Amen! I used to babysit for my friend's child before, but that was it. I would just feed him, we'd play, and I really didn't know about the necessity of a structured environment. Now that I am providing that for four children, sometimes six, I realize how completely draining it is. Even when I lay them down for nap time, I'm up and down the steps about 20 times before they finally go to sleep. If I'm lucky, I will only have the mess from lunch to clean up (I usually have a clean up session right before lunch), so I may get to relax for about an hour and do my college work before they get up. It is utterly exhausting to discipline, listen to crying children, provide endless entertainment, potty breaks, snacks/meals, etc., for 12 hours, only to have my own family to take care of when it's all over with...Phew! I have more respect for care providers than ever!!
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happykidschildcare 03:15 PM 03-16-2011
Originally Posted by Sunny Day:
To all you other in home daycare providers who are also stay at home moms, do you ever just get so sick of all the little mundane things you have to do EVERY day that you think you're going to lose your mind? I live in Canada, we've had snow and below freezing weather for MONTHS, the kids have been sick pretty much all winter and I feel like if I look down and see that my floor needs to be swept ONE MORE TIME I am going to have to drive myself straight to the loony bin. My husband is gone 11 hours out of the day and I feel so isolated, I can hardly stand it. I just feel like because I do daycare my house is destroyed every day (I'm sure you all relate: its not like I leave all day for work and can come back to my house in the same condition it was when I left it) and then I have to clean up the daycare mess for my family, make supper then clean that all up and the rest of the mess my family makes for the daycare kids in the morning...ugh, I'm just done. My husband is wonderful and really tries to help, but there is only so much he can do when he is gone all day! Tonight at the end of the day I just cried. I'm sorry, just really looking for some support right now because after the day I had I'm ready to lock my doors....

I TOTALLY feel like this alot of the time...
feel like my work is never done, or like I told my SIL I feel like a hamster in one of those see thru balls...just rollling around, but never gettin no where!!! arrrghhh!!!!! Sometimes I feel my heart isnt in it anymore...
But remember theres more good days then bad?? ay!
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Tags:boring, mundane, out of control
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