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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Does It Irritate Anyone Else When...
Laura5287 12:00 PM 08-04-2015
a mom/dad will pick up one of her kids and leave the other one here?
Dad picked up daughter to practice soccer before soccer practice today. Because she didn't do good last night at soccer practice. So they leave their 3 year old here while they go out.
I have never had it happen where they picked up one and not the other. There have been days where they just brought him and not her for something or other. Breaks my heart for him and on top of it she wants me to lie to him and say she had to go to the dr and mom will pick him up later. Why should I have to lie when I am teaching him not to.
Very frustrated and thinking about telling mom that I will not lie to him again.
Dad picked up daughter to practice soccer before soccer practice today. Because she didn't do good last night at soccer practice. So they leave their 3 year old here while they go out.
I have never had it happen where they picked up one and not the other. There have been days where they just brought him and not her for something or other. Breaks my heart for him and on top of it she wants me to lie to him and say she had to go to the dr and mom will pick him up later. Why should I have to lie when I am teaching him not to.
Very frustrated and thinking about telling mom that I will not lie to him again.
Blackcat31 12:17 PM 08-04-2015
Originally Posted by Laura5287:
a mom/dad will pick up one of her kids and leave the other one here?
Dad picked up daughter to practice soccer before soccer practice today. Because she didn't do good last night at soccer practice. So they leave their 3 year old here while they go out.
I have never had it happen where they picked up one and not the other. There have been days where they just brought him and not her for something or other. Breaks my heart for him and on top of it she wants me to lie to him and say she had to go to the dr and mom will pick him up later. Why should I have to lie when I am teaching him not to.
Very frustrated and thinking about telling mom that I will not lie to him again.
I used to not care. I used to "hide" or distract kids from seeing their parent upon pick up of another sibling. I used to not care. I used to not think it was anything to get bothered by....a mom/dad will pick up one of her kids and leave the other one here?
Dad picked up daughter to practice soccer before soccer practice today. Because she didn't do good last night at soccer practice. So they leave their 3 year old here while they go out.
I have never had it happen where they picked up one and not the other. There have been days where they just brought him and not her for something or other. Breaks my heart for him and on top of it she wants me to lie to him and say she had to go to the dr and mom will pick him up later. Why should I have to lie when I am teaching him not to.
Very frustrated and thinking about telling mom that I will not lie to him again.
But that was before.
Now I have a rule:
ONE drop off and ONE pick up per FAMILY per day.
I refuse to be party to any of the issues taking only one causes.
Not my issue to deal with, fix or accommodate.
MyAngels 12:21 PM 08-04-2015
It doesn't happen often here, but it doesn't bother me any more when it does. It used to, but I'm older now and more mellow apparently
. I certainly will not lie to a child about it though.
. I certainly will not lie to a child about it though.
Play Care 12:22 PM 08-04-2015
I have had it happen when the parent has appointments for one child and not the others. I don't see it as a big deal so long as they are not late picking up the other kids. I do know some providers have a one drop off and pick up per family per day policy though just for this.
Oh, and I wouldn't lie either - I'm sure the sister will say where she was. I don't want dcb to lose trust in me because Mom and dad won't "parent up"
dcb: where's sister?
Me: she had soccer today.
Dcb: why can't I go?
Me: that's up to mom and dad to decide. Let's go play!
Oh, and I wouldn't lie either - I'm sure the sister will say where she was. I don't want dcb to lose trust in me because Mom and dad won't "parent up"
dcb: where's sister?
Me: she had soccer today.
Dcb: why can't I go?
Me: that's up to mom and dad to decide. Let's go play!
Thriftylady 12:24 PM 08-04-2015
I also have a one drop off and pick up per day. To much hassle otherwise.
Dia 12:26 PM 08-04-2015
Yes and no......
I guess it would depend on the situation.
Currently I have 3 children in care whom have siblings that do not attend, 2 have 5 year old brothers that that go to seperate daycares during the school year and one goes to another sitter during the summer (one is a teacher).
Teacher mom is keeping 16 month old in care pt so she can do fun stuff during the summer with 5y brother which is understandable plus she doesn't want to lose her spot.
The other mom was bringing 13m old almost every day even though I know she was only scheduled to work 2-3 days a week. They pay for full time so "it is what it is"
The last parent has a 6m old and she doesn't work at all. She goes to the gym EVERY single day, I have no idea what she does 3 days a week 9 hours a day but they pay for 2y old to be here so that's that.
Does it irritate me that children stay at my house for 9-11.5 hours at a time when their parents are at home, or out having fun? Absolutely, but I take good care of the children, we have lots of fun together, then at the end of every day when the parents have to pry their screaming children away from me and wonder out loud why they are acting like this, I just shake my head and think 'maybe you should spend more time with your child' ........but I never say anything, I get paid to take care of their children so they can do whatever they want.........but yes, I am definitely irritated on the inside
I guess it would depend on the situation.
Currently I have 3 children in care whom have siblings that do not attend, 2 have 5 year old brothers that that go to seperate daycares during the school year and one goes to another sitter during the summer (one is a teacher).
Teacher mom is keeping 16 month old in care pt so she can do fun stuff during the summer with 5y brother which is understandable plus she doesn't want to lose her spot.
The other mom was bringing 13m old almost every day even though I know she was only scheduled to work 2-3 days a week. They pay for full time so "it is what it is"
The last parent has a 6m old and she doesn't work at all. She goes to the gym EVERY single day, I have no idea what she does 3 days a week 9 hours a day but they pay for 2y old to be here so that's that.
Does it irritate me that children stay at my house for 9-11.5 hours at a time when their parents are at home, or out having fun? Absolutely, but I take good care of the children, we have lots of fun together, then at the end of every day when the parents have to pry their screaming children away from me and wonder out loud why they are acting like this, I just shake my head and think 'maybe you should spend more time with your child' ........but I never say anything, I get paid to take care of their children so they can do whatever they want.........but yes, I am definitely irritated on the inside
Rockgirl 12:26 PM 08-04-2015
My daycare room is at the back of my house, so it's easy to prevent the younger sibling from seeing the older one leave with a parent. If that weren't the case, I wouldn't allow it!
Laura5287 12:27 PM 08-04-2015
Do they think the child will not ask where the other is? Yeah, I am really tired of how they treat him. They will have to pick them both up or wait. He knows and he acts out. They can see how it affects him but they choose to ignore it and make up excuses and give into him and then he tried all the same things here and they don't work and he gets into trouble and I have to teach him all over again.
I was at an family reunion this past weekend and was talking about how the 3 year old was acting out. my brother in law turned to me and said..what are you doing wrong then? You have him more than his mother does? my reponse to him was....he is not my child...there is only so much I can do and if they let him run wild and treat him like they do....he will act out with me because I have rules he has to follow. I was taken back by his comment but it made me really look at what was going on with him. Today, proved what I was thinking.
I was at an family reunion this past weekend and was talking about how the 3 year old was acting out. my brother in law turned to me and said..what are you doing wrong then? You have him more than his mother does? my reponse to him was....he is not my child...there is only so much I can do and if they let him run wild and treat him like they do....he will act out with me because I have rules he has to follow. I was taken back by his comment but it made me really look at what was going on with him. Today, proved what I was thinking.
Controlled Chaos 12:41 PM 08-04-2015
Originally Posted by Play Care:
I have had it happen when the parent has appointments for one child and not the others. I don't see it as a big deal so long as they are not late picking up the other kids. I do know some providers have a one drop off and pick up per family per day policy though just for this.
Oh, and I wouldn't lie either - I'm sure the sister will say where she was. I don't want dcb to lose trust in me because Mom and dad won't "parent up"
dcb: where's sister?
Me: she had soccer today.
Dcb: why can't I go?
Me: that's up to mom and dad to decide. Let's go play!
I have had it happen when the parent has appointments for one child and not the others. I don't see it as a big deal so long as they are not late picking up the other kids. I do know some providers have a one drop off and pick up per family per day policy though just for this.
Oh, and I wouldn't lie either - I'm sure the sister will say where she was. I don't want dcb to lose trust in me because Mom and dad won't "parent up"
dcb: where's sister?
Me: she had soccer today.
Dcb: why can't I go?
Me: that's up to mom and dad to decide. Let's go play!
Baby Beluga 12:52 PM 08-04-2015
So far it has not bothered me.
I have a sibling set and sometimes one will come but not the other. Or one will leave early but not the other. 95% of the time it is because one DCK has an appointment but not the other.
I have a sibling set and sometimes one will come but not the other. Or one will leave early but not the other. 95% of the time it is because one DCK has an appointment but not the other.
Jujube835 01:55 PM 08-04-2015
It has never happened to me but it would not bother me at all. I strongly believe in the importance of getting 1:1 time with each child. I would honestly prefer if my parents felt as passionate about that as I do.
I think it's great that they wanted to spend some quality time practicing with big kid!
I think it's great that they wanted to spend some quality time practicing with big kid!
Laura5287 01:59 PM 08-04-2015
Yeah, I am just slightly irritated. He didn't think anything of it when I said she had someplace to go and mom would pick him up later. So, i jumped to conclusions, thinking he would be upset....maybe I was for him. He's not mine and they do what they do. I may not agree with it so it is what it is.
Blackcat31 02:10 PM 08-04-2015
Originally Posted by Laura5287:
Yeah, I am just slightly irritated. He didn't think anything of it when I said she had someplace to go and mom would pick him up later. So, i jumped to conclusions, thinking he would be upset....maybe I was for him. He's not mine and they do what they do. I may not agree with it so it is what it is.
You can't force a parent to spend one on one time with their child. Yeah, I am just slightly irritated. He didn't think anything of it when I said she had someplace to go and mom would pick him up later. So, i jumped to conclusions, thinking he would be upset....maybe I was for him. He's not mine and they do what they do. I may not agree with it so it is what it is.
They can pick up both kids and drop one off at grandma's or a babysitters and still not spend time with them.
I learned long ago that I can't control daycare parents any more than they get to control me. However, I can eliminate myself from any equation that I do not agree with or want any part of and that was my line of thought when implementing a one pick up/drop off per family per day rule.
I can't guarantee that the parent will or won't spend time with both or one of their kids but I just don't want to deal with any potential fall out or backlash of only one child being picked up or having to "occupy" the remaining child so I don't. I just remove myself from the possibility all together.
If it truly bothers you, stop allowing yourself to be a player in the game. kwim? It's okay if you do that. It's okay if you decide to let it go.
It's YOUR business so you get to make that call.
Unregistered 03:25 PM 08-08-2015
Originally Posted by Dia:
Yes and no......
I guess it would depend on the situation.
Currently I have 3 children in care whom have siblings that do not attend, 2 have 5 year old brothers that that go to seperate daycares during the school year and one goes to another sitter during the summer (one is a teacher).
Teacher mom is keeping 16 month old in care pt so she can do fun stuff during the summer with 5y brother which is understandable plus she doesn't want to lose her spot.
The other mom was bringing 13m old almost every day even though I know she was only scheduled to work 2-3 days a week. They pay for full time so "it is what it is"
The last parent has a 6m old and she doesn't work at all. She goes to the gym EVERY single day, I have no idea what she does 3 days a week 9 hours a day but they pay for 2y old to be here so that's that.
Does it irritate me that children stay at my house for 9-11.5 hours at a time when their parents are at home, or out having fun? Absolutely, but I take good care of the children, we have lots of fun together, then at the end of every day when the parents have to pry their screaming children away from me and wonder out loud why they are acting like this, I just shake my head and think 'maybe you should spend more time with your child' ........but I never say anything, I get paid to take care of their children so they can do whatever they want.........but yes, I am definitely irritated on the inside
I've spoken to parents like this. I've noticed they never term, because I think they know they don't enjoy their children. I'm signed out because I know this might come off as "racist". I've noticed in cultures where this is a big push to have children, these women are often like this. The husband is at work and they just sit around having babies and pawning them off on others. Sometimes, family and sometimes me. I've noticed this with a lot of Indian and Muslim families. It does bother me (that they don't care about their children, not their race). I refuse to take children from sahps. I had one Indian mom who I truly miss (the child is in school now). I noticed she worked and was born here and her spouse was born here, too.Yes and no......
I guess it would depend on the situation.
Currently I have 3 children in care whom have siblings that do not attend, 2 have 5 year old brothers that that go to seperate daycares during the school year and one goes to another sitter during the summer (one is a teacher).
Teacher mom is keeping 16 month old in care pt so she can do fun stuff during the summer with 5y brother which is understandable plus she doesn't want to lose her spot.
The other mom was bringing 13m old almost every day even though I know she was only scheduled to work 2-3 days a week. They pay for full time so "it is what it is"
The last parent has a 6m old and she doesn't work at all. She goes to the gym EVERY single day, I have no idea what she does 3 days a week 9 hours a day but they pay for 2y old to be here so that's that.
Does it irritate me that children stay at my house for 9-11.5 hours at a time when their parents are at home, or out having fun? Absolutely, but I take good care of the children, we have lots of fun together, then at the end of every day when the parents have to pry their screaming children away from me and wonder out loud why they are acting like this, I just shake my head and think 'maybe you should spend more time with your child' ........but I never say anything, I get paid to take care of their children so they can do whatever they want.........but yes, I am definitely irritated on the inside
midaycare 08:39 PM 08-08-2015
I don't have siblings in care, but I have dck's who have siblings at home. The dck's will often still come while parents are at home with older kids. It does not bother me. I think all of my parents are good parents. I think they all work hard. And I enjoy being "full" for the day. It doesn't necessarily make it easier for me when I have less children.
KidGrind 09:27 AM 08-09-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I've spoken to parents like this. I've noticed they never term, because I think they know they don't enjoy their children. I'm signed out because I know this might come off as "racist". I've noticed in cultures where this is a big push to have children, these women are often like this. The husband is at work and they just sit around having babies and pawning them off on others. Sometimes, family and sometimes me. I've noticed this with a lot of Indian and Muslim families. It does bother me (that they don't care about their children, not their race). I refuse to take children from sahps. I had one Indian mom who I truly miss (the child is in school now). I noticed she worked and was born here and her spouse was born here, too.
What a cowardly way to express your ignorance and prejudice! I’ve had the pleasure of knowing many of who are of the cultures and religious faith you speak of and my experience is the exact opposite of yours.I've spoken to parents like this. I've noticed they never term, because I think they know they don't enjoy their children. I'm signed out because I know this might come off as "racist". I've noticed in cultures where this is a big push to have children, these women are often like this. The husband is at work and they just sit around having babies and pawning them off on others. Sometimes, family and sometimes me. I've noticed this with a lot of Indian and Muslim families. It does bother me (that they don't care about their children, not their race). I refuse to take children from sahps. I had one Indian mom who I truly miss (the child is in school now). I noticed she worked and was born here and her spouse was born here, too.
I am not typing your experience isn’t true. I am typing your experience is has little to do with their culture or faith. They are individuals. To even time Indian and Islamic families don’t care about their children is ridiculous! Some of the most dedicated & devoted families I’ve had the pleasure to know. I am also not ignorant to state every Indian family or Islamic family are like the ones I’ve experience. No different that Christian families white, black, Asian, hispanic or latino: Some families, parents are dedicated, devoted and caring; some are horror stories and I imagine a lot are somewhere in between.
midaycare 10:13 AM 08-09-2015
I agree it does depend on the family, not culture.
There are perhaps, some cultures who believe in more of a "it takes a village" rather than "it takes only mom and dad". Not everyone in a culture, but very generally speaking. I agree with this. I would much rather my DS spend his life being raised by his parents, family, and fellow good community members. It just makes for a happier upbringing (I think). You see more, experience more, have a larger network of people who love you.
There are perhaps, some cultures who believe in more of a "it takes a village" rather than "it takes only mom and dad". Not everyone in a culture, but very generally speaking. I agree with this. I would much rather my DS spend his life being raised by his parents, family, and fellow good community members. It just makes for a happier upbringing (I think). You see more, experience more, have a larger network of people who love you.
Unregistered 10:45 AM 08-09-2015
It irritates me sometimes. And not because I feel bad for the kid who is left, but just because my mom used to take all 4 of us and taught us what was expected of us in public. I don't see that happen very often anymore. The first chance to leave one or more of their kids behind is taken because it's easier for them to deal with. It is what it is though, but I will not lie to the kid. One time I had a sibling left behind and they were the last one there. So I could have been done early if dcm had taken them with, so I let her know at pick up that next time, she would have to take both kids and she had no problem with it. I think she realized dck was with me with no other kids and would have loved the extra time with mom and his brother. Have not had it happen since, but my current families have no siblings yet, so we shall see!
Josiegirl 02:23 PM 08-09-2015
It only bothers me if the child left at my house cries or whines the whole time. Then I'd feel terrible and would have to tell mom or dad to not do it again. I'd had parents take 1 dck before but the other one couldn't care less.
auntymimi 07:34 PM 08-09-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I've spoken to parents like this. I've noticed they never term, because I think they know they don't enjoy their children. I'm signed out because I know this might come off as "racist". I've noticed in cultures where this is a big push to have children, these women are often like this. The husband is at work and they just sit around having babies and pawning them off on others. Sometimes, family and sometimes me. I've noticed this with a lot of Indian and Muslim families. It does bother me (that they don't care about their children, not their race). I refuse to take children from sahps. I had one Indian mom who I truly miss (the child is in school now). I noticed she worked and was born here and her spouse was born here, too.
Yeah, that's pretty racist.I've spoken to parents like this. I've noticed they never term, because I think they know they don't enjoy their children. I'm signed out because I know this might come off as "racist". I've noticed in cultures where this is a big push to have children, these women are often like this. The husband is at work and they just sit around having babies and pawning them off on others. Sometimes, family and sometimes me. I've noticed this with a lot of Indian and Muslim families. It does bother me (that they don't care about their children, not their race). I refuse to take children from sahps. I had one Indian mom who I truly miss (the child is in school now). I noticed she worked and was born here and her spouse was born here, too.