Unregistered 07:00 PM 01-06-2017
Hello. A parent talked to me today. They claimed I am "always putting" their child "in time out". I disagreed and explained, but they claim this is time out. I am parting ways with them for several reasons but I want an outside of opinion. I have a routine, but it's not a "schedule" in that if Betty wants to do something else, I allow it. Rather than keep putting her to do the craft she doesn't want to do. On the other hand, if the child wants to do the routine but it isn't following the rules, I remove them from what we're doing. I usually let them choose. If they're really out of control, I put them with soft toys or books. However, I've near said "You're in time out" or sat them with nothing. Is this time out?
Pestle 07:06 PM 01-06-2017
No; it's redirection or allowing them to exclude themselves from a scheduled activity. Did you spin it that way? Say that it's a child-led program and that you are allowing their child to choose when to join in group activities?
How old is the child? Is she maybe saying "time out" to the parents because she doesn't have the words or comprehension to communicate what's really going on?
It's a bad policy to force an unwilling child to participate in the activities, anyway; what does the parent expect, for you to physically force the child to do what all the other kids are doing?
Unregistered 07:30 PM 01-06-2017
Originally Posted by Pestle:
No; it's redirection or allowing them to exclude themselves from a scheduled activity. Did you spin it that way? Say that it's a child-led program and that you are allowing their child to choose when to join in group activities?
How old is the child? Is she maybe saying "time out" to the parents because she doesn't have the words or comprehension to communicate what's really going on?
It's a bad policy to force an unwilling child to participate in the activities, anyway; what does the parent expect, for you to physically force the child to do what all the other kids are doing?
Honestly, I don't know where they're getting the words time out. I always say when the child has to do another activity "Are we being a friend?" "Do you like when someone does (what they're doing)?" "If you keep doing that, you will lose your turn/spot" and finally "If you keeping doing (what they are doing) you will play by yourself for a little bit" (I can see what they're doing, they're just not with the others). I say nothing when a child walks away or decides not to join in. The problem is the child in question is violent and hyper. Say we're using glue, the child will purposely hit the glue to squeeze it or break it. I give the warnings and the child will then purposely put glue on the table or another child.
daycare 07:37 PM 01-06-2017
If a parent is going to belive a child over you, be thankful they are moving on.
I agree it's called redirecting. I hardly every do time out. Can't recall the last time I have done one. BUT I do have kids sit in their own space and conduct their own play if they show me they can not exist with the other kids. Example, a child hurts another child in anyway, they can sit with a calming jar and think about making better choices. They are still getting to do something. I belive that time out is when you have no activities to access. Time out is a defined space in the childcare that is away from toys, activities or friends.
I think you should be happy that you dodged a bullet.
Unregistered 03:11 AM 01-07-2017
If they are unable to follow the rules to an activity and they are given a choice of a few other things to do it could be a few different things depending on the situation.
If the child is just not interested ( or dev. Ready) in the activity it's just that - a choice to do something else.
If the child is disruptive or or inappropriate (like slamming the glue) again it's a choice to do something else but also a consequence/loss of a privilege-which I think is fine. Sounds like the child isn't able to handle some activities.
Having a child sit with soft things and books is a form of time out-but really more a chill/relax time. There's nothing wrong with that. Time out should really be a time to regroup, calm down, and a feel better time.....not a punishment. Just a few minutes.
It probably feels like a time out to the child because they have to leave the group. So I guess it's time out from the group. But that's life....you don't get to do anything you want! And you are handling it in a positive way by giving the child another activity to choose!
Josiegirl 03:37 AM 01-07-2017
Time out, to me, is taking the child to a spot, as mentioned above where they have no access to anything or anyone, set a timer for however many minutes of age, and as long as they're quiet they can get up when the timer rings. But if they sit there and scream, spit, etc., or refuse to sit, then the timer keeps restarting.
Many years ago that's what I did. Now, never. I agree that what you did was redirect, and give options of other things to do. The closest I've done to time out is put them on the couch or a blanket away from others, with books or a few simple toys, and it's usually been to keep the others safe and to diffuse a situation.
IMO you were fine and yep, time to get a dcf that's a better fit.
Blackcat31 07:08 AM 01-07-2017
Ask the parent what their definition of time out is...
Did you or the parent terminate care?
Before or after the "time out" issue?
284878 03:24 PM 01-07-2017