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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Cleaning Up And Parents Arrive....WDYD?
daycare 06:25 PM 09-09-2011
So today I had an incident where a child took a full box of beads and threw them all over the daycare floor. I told her she would have to pick them up and put them back. During her clean up process her dad came to pick her up. Of course she stops the clean up and runs to daddy. I tell DCD what happend and he says: well it looks like youre gonna have a huge mess to clean up tonight.............Of course I bit my lip and said nothing more and out the door they went... I didnt say anything more because I was not sure if it was fair that I expected the parents to stay here while thier child cleaned up the mess and assuming that they had no where to be....
But now I am sitting here so angry that I didnt say anything further.
Do you make parents wait for a child to clean up a mess that they made or do you just allow them to leave and you deal with it?
But now I am sitting here so angry that I didnt say anything further.
Do you make parents wait for a child to clean up a mess that they made or do you just allow them to leave and you deal with it?
GG~DAYCARE 06:35 PM 09-09-2011
If I had to clean up the mess that little girl wouldn't see those beads for a really long time!!!!!!
lpperry 06:36 PM 09-09-2011
I don't think I have any parents who would have said what that father said. They would have made sure their child cleaned up the mess. In your situation, I'd leave the mess and have the child resume clean up tomorrow.
mema 06:38 PM 09-09-2011
I would make them wait, especially if the child did it on purpose. I would maybe help them out to speed up the process, but there are consequences for your actions. If your child did that at their house, they would expect them to clean it up too right?
DragonTears 06:38 PM 09-09-2011
In all fairness, that DCD should have helped enforce the fact that his child made a mess and now had to deal with the consequences of cleaning up. Through my years of experience, I have never had an issue with this luckily. When my own kids were in daycare and I went to pick them up at the end of the day, they were always playing with something. The daycare ladies would typically already tell the children to pick up stuff as soon as they see me walk in, and I reinforce it by repeating it to them if they appear to be trying to avoid the inevitable chore.
There is nothing wrong in simply commenting (even with the dad there) "Now *insert DCK name here*, we made a mess so now we need to help clean it up" in which case you could help so they can head home quicker, and this also alleviates any tension on the child by saying YOU made the mess. Use a group term. Just my 2 cents!
There is nothing wrong in simply commenting (even with the dad there) "Now *insert DCK name here*, we made a mess so now we need to help clean it up" in which case you could help so they can head home quicker, and this also alleviates any tension on the child by saying YOU made the mess. Use a group term. Just my 2 cents!
permanentvacation 06:44 PM 09-09-2011
OH NO!!! I would have - and have plenty of times said to the parent as they enter my home to get their child - " we need you to wait a minute while 'Johnny' finishes cleaning up." Then I tell the child "Come on, get done, mommy/daddy's waiting, you can't leave till you finish cleaning up." If the child had just made a mess either by being overexcited while playing or misbehaving, while the child continues to clean up, I tell the parents about what happened to make the mess. I have never had a parent tell me something to the effect of me having a mess to clean up that night then leaving! OH NO!! THAT WOULD NOT HAPPEN! Almost everytime a parent has to wait for their child, the parent just stands there waiting and as the child thinks they are done, if they missed a toy or two, the parent will point out that they missed the last couple of toys and point to the toy on the floor while telling the child to go get that one or two they missed! A couple of times - when the parent really didn't have time to wait for the child to clean up his mess, the parent has helped the child clean up - I JUST STOOD THERE saying I didn't make the mess, I'm not cleaning it up. Then I say a few times to the child to hurry up and clean it up because mommy/daddy has someplace to be and can't wait here long - they need to hurry and clean up.
I do typically have all the children clean up 15 minutes to 1/2 hour (depending on how messy the room is!) before parents arrive and be ready to leave at pick up time. But there have been times that a parent arrives early, I lost track of time and didn't have them clean up yet, I just decided to let them play longer than usual, or someone made an unexpected big mess right at clean up time. Then the parent simply has to wait until their child cleans up either their own mess, their own toys (if the other children are going to continue playing with their selection of toys), or if everyone is cleaning up at the same time, I make their child clean up his/her fair share of toys before I say that he/she has cleaned up enough and can leave now. I've never had a problem with that.
I let my parents know on the interview and the first time that they have to wait for their child to clean up that I want to teach them that they have to clean up after themselves. I don't want them to think that they can go to their friends houses, play, make a mess, and leave to go home while leaving a big mess for their friend to clean up after them. ( I watch ages 6 weeks - 4 years old ) They aren't going to many friends houses to play yet! But I am teaching them this now so they will automatically clean up after themselves at their friends houses when they do start going to friends houses. That way, their friends won't get mad at them, their friends parents will enjoy them over more, and they will continue to be invited over to friends to play.
I do typically have all the children clean up 15 minutes to 1/2 hour (depending on how messy the room is!) before parents arrive and be ready to leave at pick up time. But there have been times that a parent arrives early, I lost track of time and didn't have them clean up yet, I just decided to let them play longer than usual, or someone made an unexpected big mess right at clean up time. Then the parent simply has to wait until their child cleans up either their own mess, their own toys (if the other children are going to continue playing with their selection of toys), or if everyone is cleaning up at the same time, I make their child clean up his/her fair share of toys before I say that he/she has cleaned up enough and can leave now. I've never had a problem with that.
I let my parents know on the interview and the first time that they have to wait for their child to clean up that I want to teach them that they have to clean up after themselves. I don't want them to think that they can go to their friends houses, play, make a mess, and leave to go home while leaving a big mess for their friend to clean up after them. ( I watch ages 6 weeks - 4 years old ) They aren't going to many friends houses to play yet! But I am teaching them this now so they will automatically clean up after themselves at their friends houses when they do start going to friends houses. That way, their friends won't get mad at them, their friends parents will enjoy them over more, and they will continue to be invited over to friends to play.
daycare 06:55 PM 09-09-2011
Originally Posted by lpperry:
I don't think I have any parents who would have said what that father said. They would have made sure their child cleaned up the mess. In your situation, I'd leave the mess and have the child resume clean up tomorrow.
well since today is friday I wont have any kids tomorrow and this child wont return until tuesday.I don't think I have any parents who would have said what that father said. They would have made sure their child cleaned up the mess. In your situation, I'd leave the mess and have the child resume clean up tomorrow.
sharlan 07:06 PM 09-09-2011
I think I would be dropping the beads come Monday morning. She can pick them up then.
I've always had the opposite happen. Mom or Dad plops their bottom ends on the sofa and says, "We're not going anywhere until this is cleaned up." I'm like, go home, I'll clean it up later, but nope, parents sit down.
I've always had the opposite happen. Mom or Dad plops their bottom ends on the sofa and says, "We're not going anywhere until this is cleaned up." I'm like, go home, I'll clean it up later, but nope, parents sit down.
nannyde 07:07 PM 09-09-2011
I definitely wouldn't have the kid stay to clean if I could get them out the door. I don't like caring for kids when their parents are with them. You take a risk of getting bad behavior from the kid and the parents.
I wouldn't have allowed a kid who would dump a bin of beads around a bin of beads. They only have access to things they can manage cleaning without any conflict or adult involvement.
I would just take the hit on this one and know now that she can't have access to stuff like that.
I wouldn't have allowed a kid who would dump a bin of beads around a bin of beads. They only have access to things they can manage cleaning without any conflict or adult involvement.
I would just take the hit on this one and know now that she can't have access to stuff like that.
Crazy8 07:25 PM 09-09-2011
I have plenty of times had kids go back to cleaning up while their parent waits by the door. Especially in a case like that one I think it sends a lousy message to let them off the hook - I don't care if it gets them out the door 5 min. faster. I have also NEVER had a parent tell their child anything other than "you go back and finish putting those away" AND they would probably have their child apologize for doing it in the first place. I swear, the more I read here the more I realize what great parents I have had over the years.
SilverSabre25 07:42 PM 09-09-2011
We finish cleaning up (if it's intentional like that, or the child was warned that he would have to clean up X when mommy got there), we finish up or administer time outs...whatever is needed.
I would have given that father the stink-eye and said shortly, "Nope, she made the mess on purpose; she needs to clean it up. You can help her if you need to leave quickly."
I would have given that father the stink-eye and said shortly, "Nope, she made the mess on purpose; she needs to clean it up. You can help her if you need to leave quickly."
Abigail 07:58 PM 09-09-2011
I have a few kids who have their days when they don't clean up with their friends when asked because they know they have mom/dad to come get them soon. I tell them, "If you don't pick up then your mom/dad will have to wait for you to pick up" and saying that is a warning. Then mom/dad shows up and I ask if they have a minute because X child needs to pick up this and this and I've never had a parent say they don't have time. The child actually picks up really fast when the parents says to clean because then they're excited to go home!
Once or twice I have had a rude parent open the door and say "Come On" as I'm trying to start a conversation with them and they shut the door. Those days I just think to myself hoping I'll never do that.
Once or twice I have had a rude parent open the door and say "Come On" as I'm trying to start a conversation with them and they shut the door. Those days I just think to myself hoping I'll never do that.
daycare 07:59 PM 09-09-2011
Originally Posted by nannyde:
I definitely wouldn't have the kid stay to clean if I could get them out the door. I don't like caring for kids when their parents are with them. You take a risk of getting bad behavior from the kid and the parents.
I wouldn't have allowed a kid who would dump a bin of beads around a bin of beads. They only have access to things they can manage cleaning without any conflict or adult involvement.
I would just take the hit on this one and know now that she can't have access to stuff like that.
You must be in my husbands ear because he said the same thing.I definitely wouldn't have the kid stay to clean if I could get them out the door. I don't like caring for kids when their parents are with them. You take a risk of getting bad behavior from the kid and the parents.
I wouldn't have allowed a kid who would dump a bin of beads around a bin of beads. They only have access to things they can manage cleaning without any conflict or adult involvement.
I would just take the hit on this one and know now that she can't have access to stuff like that.
Trust me NAn this was the last child that I would have ever imagined to do this....
Ariana 04:26 PM 09-10-2011
I usually don't just because I'd rather the child and parent left. I would however remind the child the next time she wanted the beads that you were left having to clean it up so she can go ahead and find something else to play with!
VTMom 05:04 PM 09-10-2011
How old is the child? That would have been the end of the beads for her for sure - at least for a while. I think in that situation I would have said when DCG ran to DCD "Oh, Dad's here. You need to hurry and pick up the beads so you can go home" before allowing another option to enter the equation. I've had to do this with one family that had a tough time with appropriate responses (in my opinion).
...unless this was the last pick-up on a Friday night
...unless this was the last pick-up on a Friday night
daycare 05:29 PM 09-10-2011
Originally Posted by VTMom:
How old is the child? That would have been the end of the beads for her for sure - at least for a while. I think in that situation I would have said when DCG ran to DCD "Oh, Dad's here. You need to hurry and pick up the beads so you can go home" before allowing another option to enter the equation. I've had to do this with one family that had a tough time with appropriate responses (in my opinion).
...unless this was the last pick-up on a Friday night
Lol it was the last pick up on Friday night. I think I am going to let it go this time but will have a talk with DCM as she is alot more into parenting that dad is. It seems like most of my DCDs are very lax on parenting the child. How old is the child? That would have been the end of the beads for her for sure - at least for a while. I think in that situation I would have said when DCG ran to DCD "Oh, Dad's here. You need to hurry and pick up the beads so you can go home" before allowing another option to enter the equation. I've had to do this with one family that had a tough time with appropriate responses (in my opinion).
...unless this was the last pick-up on a Friday night
Thanks for all of your responses