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  #1  
Old 11-09-2010, 06:36 AM
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Default Is There Anything I Can Say - or Just Keep Ignoring It

I have a dad of an 18 month of dcg who started with me mid August.

Dad has on several occasions said "oh she's picking up hitting from _______"

or yesterday when my daughter leaned over the side of the couch to climb on to it during his pick up time (which I do NOT allow btw and dd was spoken to about it in front of him) he said "ahhhhh so THAT is where she picked up that lovely habbit. She just started doing that on our furniture and we don't allow it"

all I said was "I don't either" (which was clear because I had already spoken to my dd)

my dd likes to hold my hands and climb up my body and do a sommersault of sorts - she wanted to show this dc dad that she could do this. The minute she started he said - "___________ (his dd) don't look - we don't need you picking up bad habbits"


So the yesterday when he picked up she also screamed at the top of her lungs (girly loud screech!) which he instantly told her "no" I said "oh good - I have been telling her 'no' too when she does that"

He said "i wonder where she picked THAT one up from" and pointed at my dd. (now he did say that one with a smile but still pissed me off)

I responded by saying "nope - I'm pretty sure she picked that up just by being a girl" and I said it with a smile but I'm starting to get incredibly annoyed.

Is there anything that I can bother to say about this or just completely ignore him?
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  #2  
Old 11-09-2010, 06:47 AM
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Ugh! That would make me so mad. It really sounds like this set of parents think their child is a perfect angel and that anything "undesirable" they may do must be "corruption" from someone else's "little devil". Wow.

It also sounds like they have very little concept of child development and what's developmentally appropriate! Climbing, screaming, hitting...those are all perfectly normal 18 month things that would happen whether she was around other children or not. Their expectations sound a bit unrealistic too...it's not a "bad habit" if a child does the somersault thing--that's fun!

Unfortunately, I don't know if there's much you *can* say, except maybe smile and say, "No, that's just what 18 month olds do!"
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Old 11-09-2010, 06:50 AM
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I should ad that mom drops off and dad picks up
mom has NEVER said anything like this at all
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Old 11-09-2010, 06:51 AM
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Do not let this go. It is rude, condescending and disrespectful to you and your family!

If I were you I would speak to him immediately at the next opportunity. It would go something like this:

ME: I have a concern I need to discuss with you. It seems that you are noticing some behaviors in your DD that you do not like to see. I can tell you from my experience that those behaviors aer normal and can be expected at this age. I want to assure you that it is our practice here to curb those issues and prevent them from happening.

DD: blah blah blame blame blah...

ME: I understand your concerns, I share them too. The PROBLEM here is not the behaviors, it is the attitude I get from you about the things she has learned. I can't help but notice that you are quick to blame and judge the other children, including my own. This makes me very uncomfortable to say the least- especially when you say these things to her in front of me. Clearly she is a sponge and picks things up so quickly. I would hate to see her learn to put people down so rudely. Perhaps in the future, you can bring up your concerns to me in private, so that we both can help her grow up to be the well behaved child you expect her to be.

DD: blah blah...derp...OK.
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Old 11-09-2010, 07:25 AM
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oh i would say something too.

i had one grandma who blamed "the boys" for her grandaughter learning how to burp and fart. which, btw, i am on top of and dont allow. meanwhile her precious grandaughter ( 7 years old and knowing better) was lifting up her dress to show the boys her panties. you better believe i said something to her....
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Old 11-09-2010, 09:42 AM
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Next time I would sort of lift an eyebrow, pause, and say, "Do you really think she learned that here??" Then the next time it happened, I would start getting defensive ... but in a nice way. I would say, "Oh, come on John. She would have done that whether she was around my dcg or not. That's just what kids do!". I'd say it in a sort of teasing, playful way - but hopefully he would catch a clue. Then the next time I would say, "Geez John, do you think I purposely TEACH them to do things?" and I would laugh afterward to take the edge off and not make it sound harsh, but the message would hopefully get through nonetheless. I guess I'm what you might call Passive Aggressive --- whatever works!!!
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Old 11-09-2010, 09:48 AM
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thank you for your input everyone.
i guess I've ignored it too much if it is bothering me this much.
and I too am quite passive agressive and my comment about her screeching because she is a girl and not because she is around my dd was me saying something about it...LOL
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Old 11-09-2010, 09:51 AM
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Joyce is right!!
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  #9  
Old 11-09-2010, 10:05 AM
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I would comment as soon as he makes his next comment,..
him.... oh I see where she is learning things,...
you,.... yes, well I think they are all learning things together, thats what happens in childcare and it really is starting to upset me that you think every undesirable behavior is a direct result of the atmosphere at my home. I think your child is a normal inquisitive busy 18 month old who is learning about her world. And I feel like you think Im introducing behaviors to her that are harming her development. When the truth is, I am allowing her to explore her world and learn how to have a fun time and realize where the boundaries are,.. Im not teaching her to blame others, or to belittle people.

then do the stare.

he will either trip overhimself apologizing to you,.. and not do it anymore,.. or return with his views... either way you are getting it out in the open. you have to. dont hide your feelings because you are uncomfortable about his reaction.
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  #10  
Old 11-09-2010, 11:04 AM
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if you don't want to approach him directly, maybe you can keep this poem (which i LOVE!) handy and next time he makes a comment you can say, "oh yeah, i found a poem i thought was so funny i meant to give (insert mom's name) this morning. i thought you 2 would get a laugh from it - it's so true!....or whatever. here it is:

The Toddler’s Creed

If it is on, I must turn it off.
If it is off, I must turn it on.
If it is folded, I must unfold it.
If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.
If it a solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or smeared.
If it is high, it must be reached.
If it is shelved, it must be unshelved.
If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed.
If it has leaves, they must be picked.
If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.
If it is not trash, it must be thrown away.
If it is in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on the floor.
If it is closed, it must be opened.
If it does not open, it must be screamed at.
If it has drawers, they must be rifled.
If it is a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator, monitor, or table.
If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied.
If it is empty, it will be more interesting full.
If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.
If it is stroller, it must under no circumstances be ridden in without protest. It must be pushed by me instead.
If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.
If Mommy's hands are full, I must be carried.
If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.
If it is paper, it must be torn.
If it has buttons, they must be pressed.
If the volume is low, it must go high.
If it is toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the floor.
If it is a drawer, it must be pulled upon.
If it is a toothbrush, it must be inserted into my mouth.
If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force.
If it is a phone, I must talk to it.
If it is a bug, it must be swallowed.
If it doesn't stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.
If it is not food, it must be tasted.
If it is food, it must not be tasted.
If it is dry, it must be made wet with drool, milk, or toilet water.
If it is a carseat, it must be protested with an arched back.
If it is Mommy (or Daddy), it must be hugged.
I am toddler!

then maybe you could ask mom the following morning if she got to see it.....and say something like, I think (insert dad's name) feels like dcg is picking up a lot of bad habits here, but most of what she's doing is typical toddler behavior....or something like that. maybe that'll open the door for a conversation to clear the air.

Last edited by QualiTcare; 11-09-2010 at 11:08 AM.
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Old 11-09-2010, 11:05 AM
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I'm not sure what to say to him but I would definitely not keep quiet about it. Those acquisations are very hurtful to you and your dd. Not acceptable.
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  #12  
Old 11-09-2010, 01:35 PM
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Well I'll give you one thing. You have me stumped. I've never ran into this before because I don't allow my child around the day care parents and I don't allow the day care parents around the other day care kids.

My gut reaction would be to start pointing out any behavior his child does that could expose the other children and enlist him to assist you in working with her so she doesn't spread that behavior to the other kids.

Provider: I really need to talk to you Dad. Little Missy has been throwing her food from her tray to the floor and I just don't know what to do about it. I'm so worried that the other kids are going to see her do it and start doing it too. I know how you feel about any untoward behavior being passed from one child to the next in my care and I simply can't get her to stop doing it.

I really need to talk to you Dad. Little Missy has been tossing toys very hard into the toy box and I just don't know what to do about it. None of the other kids EVER do this and I'm VERY worried that they are going to see and hear her do it and start doing it too. I can't have the broken toys and I can't have the noise. I know how you feel about any behavior being spread from one kid to the next here. Can you work with her to get her to stop doing that?

Next day... She's still tossing her food on the floor and the toys into the toy box and guess what... Little Johnny copied her and HE'S doing it too. You guys have got to really really work with her on it. We can't have bad behavior like this spreading.

And on and on... Just start pointing out her behavior. Stake your claim that no one is has done it in your home so she is the carrier of it into your home. Tell them you need them to get her to stop it... and then let them know when what they are doing is not working.

Do it a lot... every day... do it for weeks. Make sure you show concern for the bad behavior exposure to the other kids.

Once he's on the receiving end of trying to fix normal kid public behavior then he might be a bit more tolerant of what his kid is exposed to.

I don't have this because my son isn't allowed to have any interaction with my clients. From the time he was walking on he's been banished from arrivals and departures. He never comes into the room and he knows he would be severely punished if he ever spoke to one of my clients. I have kept him completely separate from my business from day one.

I also don't allow the parents to interact with the other day care kids. The only time they ever see the other kids is if they are arriving or departing at the same time. I've always tried to keep the parents as unattached from the other kids as I could possibly do. I don't discuss the other kids with the parents unless it is to discuss their child's position in the GROUP of kids. I don't do any discussion specifically about other kids.

Maybe try to back him away from your other kids and your kid as much as possible.

Hopefully someone will come along that allows parental contact with their children and the day care kids to give you specific advice.
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  #13  
Old 11-09-2010, 02:13 PM
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I say go with what missnikki said. It is direct and to the point. Anything else is just ***** footing around the subject. We are the voice for our children(dck and our own) and when we say things with hidden agendas all kinds of other stuff happens. Just tell him you have a concern, address it and tell him you do not wish for it to continue...just as missnikki said. Her suggestion is spot on in my opinion.
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  #14  
Old 11-09-2010, 02:31 PM
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Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I say go with what missnikki said. It is direct and to the point. Anything else is just ***** footing around the subject. We are the voice for our children(dck and our own) and when we say things with hidden agendas all kinds of other stuff happens. Just tell him you have a concern, address it and tell him you do not wish for it to continue...just as missnikki said. Her suggestion is spot on in my opinion.
i agree too. i wouldn't be able to KEEP myself from saying something. but some people have a hard time confronting others. so IF she can't come out and say something bluntly she can still get the point across. otherwise, she'll have to listen to this idiot forever.
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Old 11-09-2010, 06:21 PM
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I just want to say I have one of these dcp's, too. Every negative thing must have been because of so-and-so (usually my ds!). It is said jokingly but I know this parent seriously believes it couldn't from his very own. I never say anything though but probably will say something jokingly right back next time.

nannyde How in the world could you keep your kids away from dcp's? My dcps know a LOT about the other kids in my care as they see them ALL everyday?! I work alone and have one entrance.....my daycare area is close to the door (gated off). I try to keep my mouth shut about OTHER dck's but it's so hard when dcp's are just bluntly noticing things and asking questions about the others.....I think they mean well but just curious how you are able to separate everything....

Last edited by ninosqueridos; 11-09-2010 at 06:22 PM. Reason: addressing wrong poster
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Old 11-10-2010, 03:01 AM
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I just want to say I have one of these dcp's, too. Every negative thing must have been because of so-and-so (usually my ds!). It is said jokingly but I know this parent seriously believes it couldn't from his very own. I never say anything though but probably will say something jokingly right back next time.

nannyde How in the world could you keep your kids away from dcp's? My dcps know a LOT about the other kids in my care as they see them ALL everyday?! I work alone and have one entrance.....my daycare area is close to the door (gated off). I try to keep my mouth shut about OTHER dck's but it's so hard when dcp's are just bluntly noticing things and asking questions about the others.....I think they mean well but just curious how you are able to separate everything....
Staff assistant and a separate area for arrivals and depatures. Parents come in the living room and the kids are either in playroom one... the first level opposite end of house or the playroom two in the basement level opposite end of the house.

I don't allow in play room visitis with the other kids so if the parents want to come and visit their child they would have their own separate play room to visit their child. Nobody takes me up on that.

Sometimes if the parent drops off during our outdoor walk they can see the whole crew at one time. That works great because the kids are all attached to the stroller, calm, and just want to get going. They don't pay any attention to the dropping off parent.

I also post pics on my website so they can actually SEE the group but I don't allow any intermingling between the day care parents and the other kids or the day care parents and my kid.

I've gone 17 years without ever having an conflict about my other day care kids behavior or my son. I've never had a parent blame my child or other day care kids for their child's behavior. I've never had lingering parents who want to hang out to watch their kid play with his "friends". I've never had long drop offs where the parents sit and watch the other kids and "ease" their kid into the group. I don't have parents discussing what kids are present for little Johnny to play with. I don't have any issues with the parents being upset because kids have left the day care or that kids are coming in the day care. I would NEVER tolerate parents askiing me ANY questions about the other kids.


They base ALL of their relationship with the day care on ME and the care I give to their child. It doesn't matter what kids I have in the house ... no matter their ages or their behavior... no matter WHAT ... "I'M" going to make it work so pay no nevermind to the other kids.

If the parents want the service of interacting with the other day care kids and being a part of conversations and having questions and opinions about the other day care kids then they wouldn't enroll here. I don't provide that service but I can see where a LOT of parents would like it and want it. It's just not something I want to offer because I think it causes a lot of situations like the OP brought up. It also can threaten your business when parents become attached to the idea of their kid being with kids that leave or move on. That's a REALLY big problem with having parents micro involved with your group.

I manage all the relationships with the kids and don't allow any family or child to fixate on a relationship between their child and any one or two kids in the care. All of the kids are equally attached to each other. I don't do singlular attachments or discussions about "best friends". Parents involvement in the kids can very easily set up for these kinds of relationships which would really mess up my system of raising safe and happy kids here.
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Old 11-10-2010, 03:17 AM
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Staff assistant and a separate area for arrivals and depatures. Parents come in the living room and the kids are either in playroom one... the first level opposite end of house or the playroom two in the basement level opposite end of the house.

I don't allow in play room visitis with the other kids so if the parents want to come and visit their child they would have their own separate play room to visit their child. Nobody takes me up on that.

Sometimes if the parent drops off during our outdoor walk they can see the whole crew at one time. That works great because the kids are all attached to the stroller, calm, and just want to get going. They don't pay any attention to the dropping off parent.

I also post pics on my website so they can actually SEE the group but I don't allow any intermingling between the day care parents and the other kids or the day care parents and my kid.

I've gone 17 years without ever having an conflict about my other day care kids behavior or my son. I've never had a parent blame my child or other day care kids for their child's behavior. I've never had lingering parents who want to hang out to watch their kid play with his "friends". I've never had long drop offs where the parents sit and watch the other kids and "ease" their kid into the group. I don't have parents discussing what kids are present for little Johnny to play with. I don't have any issues with the parents being upset because kids have left the day care or that kids are coming in the day care. I would NEVER tolerate parents askiing me ANY questions about the other kids.


They base ALL of their relationship with the day care on ME and the care I give to their child. It doesn't matter what kids I have in the house ... no matter their ages or their behavior... no matter WHAT ... "I'M" going to make it work so pay no nevermind to the other kids.

If the parents want the service of interacting with the other day care kids and being a part of conversations and having questions and opinions about the other day care kids then they wouldn't enroll here. I don't provide that service but I can see where a LOT of parents would like it and want it. It's just not something I want to offer because I think it causes a lot of situations like the OP brought up. It also can threaten your business when parents become attached to the idea of their kid being with kids that leave or move on. That's a REALLY big problem with having parents micro involved with your group.

I manage all the relationships with the kids and don't allow any family or child to fixate on a relationship between their child and any one or two kids in the care. All of the kids are equally attached to each other. I don't do singlular attachments or discussions about "best friends". Parents involvement in the kids can very easily set up for these kinds of relationships which would really mess up my system of raising safe and happy kids here.
not saying it's wrong, but that's highly unusual. i'm just imagining being a parent and not being "allowed" to see anything that goes on...having to go to a private room to visit my child (what's the point? don't parents want to watch their kids interact with the group/you?) and it would seem like you're hiding something - which i guess in a way you are.

i think everyone has had a parent say, "my johnny said that sally bit him. did you talk to sally's mother about it?" but that's when you say, "i can't discuss other children with you due to privacy, and i'd never talk about johnny with another parent, but i can assure you the problem is being taken care of." but never letting the parents see other kids? i don't really get that. and your own child?

let's say the reason for parents never seeing other daycare children is 100% a wonderful idea/thing. what is the reason for not letting your son ever see/speak to a parent, and being punished if he did? my kids were always around and spoke to parents/the parents saw them play - and i can't think of any reason that could cause harm unless they told on me for locking them in the basement at night and chaining them up with no food or water.
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Old 11-10-2010, 04:49 AM
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not saying it's wrong, but that's highly unusual. i'm just imagining being a parent and not being "allowed" to see anything that goes on...having to go to a private room to visit my child (what's the point? don't parents want to watch their kids interact with the group/you?) and it would seem like you're hiding something - which i guess in a way you are.

i think everyone has had a parent say, "my johnny said that sally bit him. did you talk to sally's mother about it?" but that's when you say, "i can't discuss other children with you due to privacy, and i'd never talk about johnny with another parent, but i can assure you the problem is being taken care of." but never letting the parents see other kids? i don't really get that. and your own child?

let's say the reason for parents never seeing other daycare children is 100% a wonderful idea/thing. what is the reason for not letting your son ever see/speak to a parent, and being punished if he did? my kids were always around and spoke to parents/the parents saw them play - and i can't think of any reason that could cause harm unless they told on me for locking them in the basement at night and chaining them up with no food or water.
My son was born after I had done day care for seven years. He's an only child. When he was born I made a strong decision that he would not be a part of the business. I wanted him to have a tremendous amount of freedom and I did not want him to be raised within the confines of the State regulations with supervision. I wanted him to run with scissors if he so chose.

So he hasn't been a part of it and doesn't really get the balance of dealing with clients. Each client is a 7-8 THOUSAND dollar a year contract and I don't want my son to have any access to that relationship.

If I did accounting or counselling out of my home I wouldn't want my ten year old involved with my clients. It would be inappropriate to have a child involved in your business. That's how I feel about having him involved in my business. It's just inappropriate and risky.

It's worked GREAT. He's always stayed out of my business and I've never expected him to be a part of it. He's been able to skim off the top the good things of having a childhood with a day care in the home but hasn't had to suffer any of the down side. I made a good decision and I'm sticking to it.

i think everyone has had a parent say, "my johnny said that sally bit him. did you talk to sally's mother about it?" Nope I have never had anything like that. The parents do not talk to me about the other kids. They know better. We don't have kids that fight in any way so there really isn't anything to go home to talk to Mom about. Our days are pretty much the same and we have NO fighting period. There's no physical aggression here. Everybody minds really well and all the kids are super nice balanced stable kids. So I don't have any news from the day care going home to the parents that would be "conferencable". I don't have anything TO talk to the parents about regarding the other kids.

not saying it's wrong, but that's highly unusual. i'm just imagining being a parent and not being "allowed" to see anything that goes on...having to go to a private room to visit my child (what's the point? don't parents want to watch their kids interact with the group/you?) and it would seem like you're hiding something - which i guess in a way you are.

I'm definitely hiding something but I'm very open about the hiding. I make it very clear to parents during the interview process that there are NO PARENTS IN THE PLAYROOM. I am only required to provide immediate access to their child and to me when they come to visit. I'm not required to ever give access to the other kids in the house. So if a parent WANTS to come have immediate access to their child they can hook up in my second play room and access them all they want. They never take me up on it so it's never happened.

I've done child care in my home for 17 years and have been on message boards for 12. I've counselled hundreds of providers over the years and one thing I KNOW for sure is that MOST... not all but MOST providers BY FAR want parents to drop off quickly, pick up quickly, and not hang out in the day care at all.

Many feel like that can't have it so they have to endure. Some actually like the parent contact and involvement. Those are precious few in my experience but definitely a small niche in the day care world.

I know that having parents involved into the business to that extent... physically being around the other kids will NEVER make me money. It won't prosper my business in any way. Not allowing it may have turned a few parents to another provider when deciding where to take their kid but I'm booked full all the time and have the highest rates in my side of town.

It hasn't affected my business in any measurable way and it is what I think is the way to operate that makes ME happy and makes my family the most amount of money.

If it aint broke.......
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Old 11-10-2010, 06:18 AM
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I have the same situation that goes on here with one of my daycare moms! Her son is 19 months and my daughter is almost 4! She is a mischievious, adventures, dangererous little girl just as she should be! She is constantly doing flips, cart wheels, head stands, she is a very busy little girl! Daycare girl ALWAYS makes comments about "hmmmm I wonder where you learned that from" She says it jokingly, and I thought it was cute and funny at first, but EVERYTHING my daughter does now she says Ava you shouldn't do that you know who is watching and who will copy you! Eerks me! If she is going to hurt herself or someone else with her stunts, yes I usually stop her, but for the most part she is learning and exercising and why would I stop her from doing the things she loves! She is a born gymnast! We just put her in gymnastics and her teacher raves about her and once she turns 4 she will be going into an advanced level for 4 year olds! Here is one example we were at a fire department gathering and my daughter who again will be 4 in Jan was simply jumping off of the curb, over and over again and sure enough her 19 month old goes over to copy her! She tells my daughter to stop doing that because her son will get hurt if he does it! I felt like saying then don't let him WATCH! She was not doing anything out of the ordinary, seriously jumping off of the curb, what does she want her to do stand their and be a zombie and hold my hand! I guess I support her being a spirited child, she isn't out of control, she is a good listener she is just a normal 4 year old who is loving, exploring and living life, why would I stop that!! I feel for you! I bowl with this daycare mom and she laughs and jokes with all the girls there about what her son has learned from my daughter and they all laugh and it is just oh so funny, but she at the same time makes my daughter out to be some sort of out of control monster who has no boundaries and that isn't the way it is what so ever! Thus far I have just laughed along, but would really like a comeback as well! How about " Yes, isn't it nice that your child is surrounded by happy, adventurous young chidren that lives life to the fullest and enjoys every minute of it! They are imaginitive, creative and have a true love for life. They learn so much each day by exploring and trying out new and different things! I think you should consider yourself very lucky to have had the chance to expose your child to such a fun loving child and help them to explore all of these fun moments they are exposed to instead of critisizing and belittling when the truth of the matter is they are healthy young children who have a true love for life and know exactly how to have fun and enjoy the little things in life and you as well should try enjoying the simple things in life as well instead of looking at them as bad, naughty learned behaviors!!" LOL I don't know, but something......
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Old 11-10-2010, 06:31 AM
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I've got to say, what Nannyde describes sounds like it would make the lives of a lot of the other providers here much easier, but I've had several sets of kids over the years who met here and have remained the best of friends, many of them now are in junior high and high school, so the no interaction thing wouldn't have worked very well here . It's very satisfying to know that I had at least some small part in creating some lasting friendships.
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Old 11-10-2010, 10:07 AM
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hats off to nannyde but I couldnt do that. Im so glad it works for you and am glad that you are so successful.


Here we are a family childcare home, When boy Q and his sister girl O are picked up by aunt w who is also picking up her son baby J, everyone says,.. Hi aunt wee wee!!! and they make sure to say goodbye to her too,.... All my children know all of the other parents. we are extremely proud of our family atmosphere. My own kids have been raised in the daycare and no disrespect to Nannyde but my four kids, every one of them benefitted more from the interaction, the interpersonal skills, the atmosphere of a loving home environment in being raised with such a large extended family. Which is how I consider our family childcare clients. Not only do my kids, aged 19, 17, 12 and 9 interact and engage in daily conversations with not only the daycare children, but their parents grandparents and aunts and uncles.... but my older two actually provide care for families on weekends and overnights. The 12 yr old is beginning to as well. EVERY kid who has been in my home over the last 18 yrs has called my son Bubby. To this day when out he will see one and they will run and hug him and say HI BUBBY. Not only that but any friends that my kids have, (and yes, I mean big stinky teenagers ) are either Bubby too (they actually say,.. Hi Bubby too!) cause one day my 17 yr old was asked, who is that with bubby,.. and she didnt know his name so she said,.. thats bubby too,... it stuck. This is when she was 9. I cant express how important I feel interactions are between the families I care for. I think its important because when the parents see toddler M every day,.. and her behavior and how she is usually,.. and one day they say,.. son says toddler M bit him,... is everything ok? I can answer with,.. yes,.. we are just going through some things in that age stage right now but Mom and I are on top of it and hopefully it wont happen again.

Ive always done it this way. I invite my families camping, we have BBQ's, we are a big extended family.

Recently during my accreditation process I realized it was actually required to have parental involvement and interaction. Your not supposed to keep them seperate. Also, when my children were small,.. (before school age, ) I couldnt imagine keeping them in a seperate part of my home. I would have had to hire someone to care for my own child. The reason I started this was to stay home with them....

I also think the mindset of,... ""Each client is a 7-8 THOUSAND dollar a year contract and I don't want my son to have any access to that relationship. ""

is odd.
I dont worry that having my kids around would in any way jeapordize that income. If I did then We would have a refresher course in behavior. My children have never done anything to make me question their behavior.

Ive only been a provider for 21 years, Ive only been online since 91, and only been on message boards since 93. I offer advice, ideas and encouragement. I think Nannyde and I are complete opposites. Both seem to have very established businesses, I am also full at all times, and charge premium for my area. I am a very relaxed, social person who opens up my home, heart and family to the children we care for. It works for me. I just couldnt imagine being so black and white about it. to each their own.
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Old 11-10-2010, 10:48 AM
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Here we are a family childcare home,

Ive always done it this way. I invite my families camping, we have BBQ's, we are a big extended family.

Ive only been a provider for 21 years, Ive only been online since 91, and only been on message boards since 93. I offer advice, ideas and encouragement. I think Nannyde and I are complete opposites. Both seem to have very established businesses, I am also full at all times, and charge premium for my area. I am a very relaxed, social person who opens up my home, heart and family to the children we care for. It works for me. I just couldnt imagine being so black and white about it. to each their own.
hats off to you too laundrymom!! I also think it is a matter of what each family is looking for in a provider and how each provider wishes to run their business. We all started in this field for many reasons but I am one who believes that a family childcare provider is just that...FAMILY. How Nannyde runs her business works for her and the people she serves and I see nothing wrong with that, but I do think that as a parent AND a provider, that keeping family and work separate is odd for a family childcare provider. I mean ABSOLUTELY no disrespect, but that is my opinion. If I did not want the family part of the business, I would be licensed as a center. I also agree with you laundrymom about the importance of family interaction and the benefits of lasting relationships. Head Start and many early childhood programs do encourage that type of interaction within their centers. It just seems to me that for a family with young children, family childcare would be the first place to begin the process of social networking, support from peers (other parents) and friendship since their children are friends and play together every day.
Another reason I began doing childcare was so that my own children could have other kids to play with since I only had two of my own. I came from a large family who also had foster kids in our home and growing up with lots of siblings/playmates was awesome, and I didn't want my kids to miss out on that type of experience because we only had the two. Childcare was an easy way to have a lot of playmates and make money as well.
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Old 11-10-2010, 10:50 AM
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Laundrymom, I run my program VERY similiar to you. My families are all a part of MY family, vacations, camping, etc. just like you. My kids have also always been a huge part of my program and have spent many nights and trips away with our DC families and now babysit for them as well.

I love the extended family that I have and will always cherish the memories we have all built as a community over the years.
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Old 11-10-2010, 11:07 AM
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I have a dad of an 18 month of dcg who started with me mid August.

Dad has on several occasions said "oh she's picking up hitting from _______"

or yesterday when my daughter leaned over the side of the couch to climb on to it during his pick up time (which I do NOT allow btw and dd was spoken to about it in front of him) he said "ahhhhh so THAT is where she picked up that lovely habbit. She just started doing that on our furniture and we don't allow it"

all I said was "I don't either" (which was clear because I had already spoken to my dd)

my dd likes to hold my hands and climb up my body and do a sommersault of sorts - she wanted to show this dc dad that she could do this. The minute she started he said - "___________ (his dd) don't look - we don't need you picking up bad habbits"


So the yesterday when he picked up she also screamed at the top of her lungs (girly loud screech!) which he instantly told her "no" I said "oh good - I have been telling her 'no' too when she does that"

He said "i wonder where she picked THAT one up from" and pointed at my dd. (now he did say that one with a smile but still pissed me off)

I responded by saying "nope - I'm pretty sure she picked that up just by being a girl" and I said it with a smile but I'm starting to get incredibly annoyed.

Is there anything that I can bother to say about this or just completely ignore him?
Kudos to you - you've been very patient. I'd line up another child and give him 2 weeks notice. If he is so above Daycare then he or his wife can stay home with their little darling and see what it's really all about.
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Old 11-10-2010, 02:45 PM
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so in 17 years of working with children under age five - you've never had 2 kids fight, bite, nothing - ever?

having your child around if you're an accountant and if you're a childcare provider is comparing apples to oranges.

it all sounds a little creepy.
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Old 11-10-2010, 03:19 PM
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so in 17 years of working with children under age five - you've never had 2 kids fight, bite, nothing - ever?

having your child around if you're an accountant and if you're a childcare provider is comparing apples to oranges.

it all sounds a little creepy.
Nope but I agree that it is VERY VERY creepy

I had one bite in 1993 in my first year of doing home day care and that was first and last time.

My kids have excellent behavior. They are balanced and stable children. They do not hit, bite, pinch, fight... nothing. They do not have ANY agressive behavior. None period.

I'm so confident about it that I actually advertise it on my website.

Discipline: We have little behavior issues with our kids. They don't hit, bite, fight, or be mean to each other in any way. The love each other and treat each other with respect and admiration. Most if not all of the children here have been raised with us since they were newborns or young infants. They have been brought up in our ways and have a strong attachment to the other kids and to their Nan.

We use a strict supervision and correction system that pretty much eliminates any aggressive behavior. We have "rules of play" that are wrought from 30 years of experience caring for kids which keep the kids focused on the toys and co-operative play. When children have escalating behavior we use "proximity control" or physically close supervision until the child exhibits the behaviors we seek for normal group activity.

We rely on the other children to show children with unwanted behavior what behavior we expect and promote. If a child persists with unnaceptable behavior we "team" them up with the child in the day care who is able to show them the proper way to conduct themselves. When children with behavior issues are surrounded by balanced and stable children they will adjust quickly to the conduct of the rest of the group. We encourage the older children to model kind and co-operative behavior and to mentor the younger children who need help. Works like a charm

Now and then a child may need a time out to cool their jets and get a chance to start over again. We rarely use this because it doesn't work very well but will give it a try if we are unsuccessful with our other methods. We can go years in between the need to use time out but we will give it a try now and then. We'll let you know if your child was put to time out and discuss with you what's going on that led to the separation from the other kids.

If your child has any behavior issues here you will be the first to know. We keep the parents informed of any behaviors that are requiring repeated corrections. (In other words... we rat them out ) Please keep us posted of any behavior issues you are having at home ESPECIALLY any kind of physical or violent acting out. We will be happy to help with advise or work on the issues here.


I honestly can't even imagine one of these kids hitting or being mean to another kid. It would be a pretty sad day here and I hope it never happens.
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Old 11-10-2010, 03:39 PM
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Nope but I agree that it is VERY VERY creepy

I had one bite in 1993 in my first year of doing home day care and that was first and last time.

My kids have excellent behavior. They are balanced and stable children. They do not hit, bite, pinch, fight... nothing. They do not have ANY agressive behavior. None period.

I'm so confident about it that I actually advertise it on my website.

Discipline: We have little behavior issues with our kids. They don't hit, bite, fight, or be mean to each other in any way. The love each other and treat each other with respect and admiration. Most if not all of the children here have been raised with us since they were newborns or young infants. They have been brought up in our ways and have a strong attachment to the other kids and to their Nan.

We use a strict supervision and correction system that pretty much eliminates any aggressive behavior. We have "rules of play" that are wrought from 30 years of experience caring for kids which keep the kids focused on the toys and co-operative play. When children have escalating behavior we use "proximity control" or physically close supervision until the child exhibits the behaviors we seek for normal group activity.

We rely on the other children to show children with unwanted behavior what behavior we expect and promote. If a child persists with unnaceptable behavior we "team" them up with the child in the day care who is able to show them the proper way to conduct themselves. When children with behavior issues are surrounded by balanced and stable children they will adjust quickly to the conduct of the rest of the group. We encourage the older children to model kind and co-operative behavior and to mentor the younger children who need help. Works like a charm

Now and then a child may need a time out to cool their jets and get a chance to start over again. We rarely use this because it doesn't work very well but will give it a try if we are unsuccessful with our other methods. We can go years in between the need to use time out but we will give it a try now and then. We'll let you know if your child was put to time out and discuss with you what's going on that led to the separation from the other kids.

If your child has any behavior issues here you will be the first to know. We keep the parents informed of any behaviors that are requiring repeated corrections. (In other words... we rat them out ) Please keep us posted of any behavior issues you are having at home ESPECIALLY any kind of physical or violent acting out. We will be happy to help with advise or work on the issues here.


I honestly can't even imagine one of these kids hitting or being mean to another kid. It would be a pretty sad day here and I hope it never happens.
there's nothing sad about it. it's perfectly normal for toddlers who can't vocalize their needs/wants very well to act out by taking a toy (bc they can't or don't know how to ask for it), smacking, or even biting. i do think those behaviors can be stopped very quickly, but i don't see how they can be stopped from ever happening as it's a normal part of development - like trying to stop puberty.
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Old 11-10-2010, 05:14 PM
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there's nothing sad about it. it's perfectly normal for toddlers who can't vocalize their needs/wants very well to act out by taking a toy (bc they can't or don't know how to ask for it), smacking, or even biting. i do think those behaviors can be stopped very quickly, but i don't see how they can be stopped from ever happening as it's a normal part of development - like trying to stop puberty.


That's so sad to me. It breaks my heart to think that someone as experienced and educated as you are believes that violence in young children is as inevitable as puberty in teens.

What has our world come to
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Old 11-10-2010, 05:33 PM
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They do not hit, bite, pinch, fight... nothing. They do not have ANY agressive behavior. None period.
Are we talking about human children here?
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Old 11-10-2010, 05:54 PM
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Recently during my accreditation process I realized it was actually required to have parental involvement and interaction. Your not supposed to keep them seperate. Also, when my children were small,.. (before school age, ) I couldnt imagine keeping them in a seperate part of my home. I would have had to hire someone to care for my own child. The reason I started this was to stay home with them....

I think Nannyde and I are complete opposites.
Our businesses aren't comparable really. IIRC, you said your average kid is there at your house eleven to twelve hours a day and you have ten kids a day. I also think I remember you saying you don't have staff IIRC?

My kids are here only eight to nine hours a day. I don't allow more than nine hour a day MAX. They have about five waking hours a day with their parents. At the end of the year the services you offer to the families exceeds mine by as much as seven HUNDRED hours more per year. That in and of itself makes our services completely not comparable.

I don't HAVE the kids anywhere near as much as you do. I don't need a familial connection with their parents because the kids families HAVE the kids for so many hours a day. If I were with the kids as much as you are then I would absolutely rethink the "family" connection because kids in care that many hours a day NEED the adult to be connected to them in a family way. The families using services like that NEED the child care provider to be like family.

At the end of the day the kid NEEDS family at some point in the day. My kids get that from their parents not from my house.

I don't have any aspirations to be accredited. I would NEVER get an accreditation from even the lowest level recognition and I know it and understand it. I don't offer the services that are valuable to those who currently decide what is and isn't proper in child care. My business doesn't resemble best practice or developmentally appropriate programing. I wouldn't make it thru the first page of the interview. I'm just not good enough


My son in the day care.... well I started the business of taking care of kids twenty years before he was born and had the home day care seven years before he was born. I didn't start doing this to stay home with him. I was very experienced and established when he came along and knew clearly that I didn't want him raised within my business. I made a LOT of sacrifices and rearranged my life and finances to make sure he was raised independently of my business.

I asked him tonight what he remembers from the day care when he was little. He couldn't name a single kid that was here more than two years ago. He only remembered two that were here within the last two years. He doesn't have any memory of the day care kids because he was rarely with them. He couldn't name a single kid that was here the first eight years of his life.

That's how separate his life has been. I've always wanted him to have his OWN life and only be a part of the aspects of the business that were to his benefit. He has a single working parent but has been able to have the life of a child with a stay at home Mom. That was my hope for him and so far so good.

So yes we are as opposite as we could be. I don't think we have a single thing in common. But that's all good. There are many ways to raise kids and run a successful business and we both do what WE think is right for our kids and our day care business. We are both doing great, our kids are doing great, and our businesses are doing great. What's not to love about that?
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Old 11-10-2010, 07:08 PM
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nannyde what does your son do during the day? I imagine he is at school most of the day now, since he is older, but what about before? What about when he was an infant or toddler? Did you send him to another daycare?

I just don't get it. The biting, tantrums, hitting, etc are all normal toddler behaviors, it is how they learn before they are verbal. I wish I could avoid all of that, but I don't understand how you can do it.

What ages do you have?
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Old 11-10-2010, 07:09 PM
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Nannyde, I applaud you for staying calm and rational with all the negative attention you've gotten here.

While I'm glad your system works for you, there's absolutely nothing about it I agree with. However, there's no reason for us to go back and forth about it on a chat forum. It's none of my business, it doesn't affect me one way or another, and if your clients and kids are happy, then Amen.

Again, kudos for taking it all so well.
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Old 11-10-2010, 09:27 PM
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That's so sad to me. It breaks my heart to think that someone as experienced and educated as you are believes that violence in young children is as inevitable as puberty in teens.

What has our world come to
lol.....

violence in young children! i guess you could technically call it that, but i've never looked at a child who grabbed a toy away or smacked another child as being a "violent child" - assuming it's not on a regular basis. that's like calling someone who had a few drinks ONE night "a drunk," or someone who steps on a roach "a murderer!"

i'm not saying it's okay for kids to go around smacking each other, but for you to say in 17 years it's never happened - not one time - i'm not buying it.

it breaks MY heart that someone with your, um, "wisdom" would tell such silly tales.
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Old 11-11-2010, 02:38 AM
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nannyde what does your son do during the day? I imagine he is at school most of the day now, since he is older, but what about before? What about when he was an infant or toddler? Did you send him to another daycare?

I just don't get it. The biting, tantrums, hitting, etc are all normal toddler behaviors, it is how they learn before they are verbal. I wish I could avoid all of that, but I don't understand how you can do it.

What ages do you have?
He is in school now but when he was under the age of one he was just on an opposite schedule: He napped while they were up and was up while they napped. When he was old enough to walk I had a full time staff member and a big house. I renovated the house so that he could have full run of the majority of the first floor of the house without supervision. He ran the house all day every day. He had three mornings a week prek when he was three and four days a week when he was four.

I don't have any violence in my house. I have said it over and over but obviously I can't do more than say it. My kids do not hit, fight, bite, or be mean to each other in any way. I'm so confident of this that I use it as a selling tool for my business. I have it posted on my website so that parents know that is what I say happens at my house. It would be very silly to advertise this if there was any liklihood that a kid would actually get hit or bit here.

I have a system of care that brings children from birth to age five without ANY kind of violence at all in my home.
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Old 11-11-2010, 02:43 AM
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lol.....

violence in young children! i guess you could technically call it that, but i've never looked at a child who grabbed a toy away or smacked another child as being a "violent child" - assuming it's not on a regular basis. that's like calling someone who had a few drinks ONE night "a drunk," or someone who steps on a roach "a murderer!"

i'm not saying it's okay for kids to go around smacking each other, but for you to say in 17 years it's never happened - not one time - i'm not buying it.

it breaks MY heart that someone with your, um, "wisdom" would tell such silly tales.
You can choose not to believe it and that's cool. I have a system of raising children from birth to five that results in NO violence at all. I'm 31 years into raising kids and I'm really good at what I do.

Kids CAN be raised in a completely non violent zero tolerance policy care. I do it every day.
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Old 11-11-2010, 02:54 AM
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I'm curious.
children learn things at home or when they are not in your care. Behaviors that it sounds like you would not want in your daycare.

What happens if little timmy comes in one Monday morning and hit another kid. Just once. What would you do.

I was reading your advertising verbiage and you said you don't use time out instead you prefer to use YOUR method. What is your method? Because if you really insist that no one even tries out this pushing shoving hitting stuff then I'd love to know how you accomplish it.
Because I will beleive that you do not allow it - but I can't believe that no child has ever attempted it.
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Now and then a child may need a time out to cool their jets and get a chance to start over again. We rarely use this because it doesn't work very well but will give it a try if we are unsuccessful with our other methods.
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Old 11-11-2010, 04:18 AM
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I'm curious.
children learn things at home or when they are not in your care. Behaviors that it sounds like you would not want in your daycare.

What happens if little timmy comes in one Monday morning and hit another kid. Just once. What would you do.

I was reading your advertising verbiage and you said you don't use time out instead you prefer to use YOUR method. What is your method? Because if you really insist that no one even tries out this pushing shoving hitting stuff then I'd love to know how you accomplish it.
Because I will beleive that you do not allow it - but I can't believe that no child has ever attempted it.
I pretty much raise only children. I've only had one sib set in care in the last nine years. 19 out of 20 kids come to me as newborns. The other one of twenty come as young infants.

The kids are raised here together their whole life. They don't know any other life but this. They have the same care givers every day and the same routine. We have a LOT of physical space where we can divide out the kids into their own areas and mix and match the kids to each other based on what they are doing at the time. We have a lot of space and flexibility. We also have a one adult to four children MAX ratio. Most days it is a one adult to 3 to 3.5 ratio. Our daily attendance is usually 6-7 kids.

My system of corrections begins when the children get mobile. I correct small behaviors so they don't lead to the more complex behaviors. I have probably five or six hundred rules of play that I use. I've never written them down but they are all systematic brick in the wall behavior building rules of play that lead to completely calm and stable kids.

I wouldn't ever have time to write out all the techniques but this is one I wrote for Justthebabysitter.com regarding children hitting babies: It's one of my techniques I call "Surrender to the Baby". I have used this technique for 17 years.

This is in response to a post where someone said an older kid hit a baby in their day care.

Me: If a kid in my house laid a hand on one of my babies they would be done that day. I've never had that happen in 16 years of doing day care. I don't give a $hit if it was my best family or not. I train these guys from the time they ARE babies to not touch my babies. Do not touch them or ANYTHING associated with them. When they get in your space or do something you don't like you SURRENDER to the baby. The baby ALWAYS wins at that very moment... until I come to correct.

When the baby does something they shouldn't and the kid surrenders then I go in and correct the baby. That's how it's done baby after baby.

Don't touch their toys.
Don't touch their exersaucers.
Don't touch their high chair.
Don't touch ANYTHING related to the babies.

DO NOT TOUCH MY BABIES.

So if one of the kids in my house who had been trained from the time they were babies to not touch my babies pinched or hit one of my babies it would mean they were COMPLETELY insane and out of control. That would be a crime of biblical proportions here. They would have to go that day. NO exceptions.


Surrender to the baby is a building block of tolerance that must be ingrained in them from the time they are very young. It's a system where they basically collapse and avoid any conflict brought by the baby. If the baby is trying to climb up on the toddler the toddler just folds over and lets the baby do it. They don't push the baby away or jut their body away... they just relax and allow it until I come to remove the baby off of them.

If a baby tries to take their toys they give it to them. They don't play tug of war. They don't body block the baby so the baby can't get their body to the toy. They don't hold the toy up in the air so the baby can't reach it. They learn to NOT do the normal things kids do to protect their own stuff. They do MY system which is let the baby win at the moment with no conflict and then I will come in and "right" it by restoring your position and the toy you have been playing with.

The baby will be disciplined by ME... not the kid.

This techniques ingranes into the childrens heads that the younger kids are no competition to them. Their job is to PROTECT the baby that is doing something unfair or unsafe. They think of the BABY first... not themselves... because they know in a second or two the world will be right again.

This is done with every single child from about eight months on. The children learn to surrender to younger children when the younger one is not being fair. They learn to NOT fight it out. They learn they we will right it if they are wronged.

They do not COMPETE ever with each other. Surrender to the baby is the foundational tool for a non competition mindset.

.................................................

that's one of my techniques... I have about five hundred others.

You said: What happens if little timmy comes in one Monday morning and hit another kid. Just once. What would you do.

Well I haven't had that happen but I would most likely kick the kid out. The parents would understand this though because as time rolls on with thier kid in my house they go month after month... year after year.. .with NEVER having their own kid being hit and never hearing their kid hit. So if after two/three/four years of nothing ever happening and all of a sudden it does... That would be pretty serious to them and really serious to the parents of the kid that got hit and to me.

I have a zero tolerance policy for hitting and they all know it. When you have that in place the parents know from the time the babies are newborns that this is something they will loose this child care over. The parents are keenly aware that any violence will lead me to boot them so they need to keep their kid in check from the go so year after year... kid after kid .. they do.

It would break my heart but I don't think I could feel secure in my work if I had a kid that was raised here and was violent. It would mean that the kid just didn't get what we do here or has an impulse control that's lacking severely. I just couldn't keep up with that so I would sadly have to terminate.

It's all in theory tho... I haven't ever had to do that... but you are asking what I would do so I can only guess this would be it.
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Old 11-11-2010, 04:31 AM
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Nannyde, I am very interested in your techniques. I have a VERY low tolerance for physical contact among my own kids and my dc kids. Even a pat on the back can get out of control quite quickly. However, many times I haven't been able to predict a random outburst of hitting. Up until I read what you said earlier in this thread, I have been operating under the assumption that hitting, biting, etc. is normal (even though it's unacceptable and I deal with it as promptly as possible). My working theory has been that some children (not all) need to experience consequences before understanding what's right and wrong in the first place. And of course, the only way they can experience consequences is by breaking the rules. I hadn't considered the idea that the aggression isn't a necessary evil of childhood.

How do you prevent it, especially among children so young? How exactly do you avoid the inevitable toddler outburst? If a child comes to you over the age of one, how do you teach them your rules without them testing them?
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Old 11-11-2010, 05:00 AM
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it sounds like you're talking about an older child hitting a baby who "doesn't know any better." that's not what i'm talking about - that's obviously not okay and not likely to happen. an older child hitting a baby is grasping at straws to try to explain.

2 kids of the same age who are, let's say 12-24 months old, ARE going to try to take toys away from each other. and when 12 month old suzie tries to take away 12 month old billy's toy - billy is going to smack, bite, pinch, scratch, or get a handful of hair at least ONCE! that's what young children DO. they don't know NOT to do that until they are taught not to do it, and you can't really teach them not to do it until it happens. unless of course they're required to watch a video that explains the importance of keeping hands to yourselves.

i don't care what kind of supernanny you are - you can not be hovering over every child EVERY second year after year and prevent the inevitable.
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Old 11-11-2010, 05:12 AM
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sounds like you run a child prison, i do not buy anything you say! kids ARE gonna test limits and boundraries. NO child is perfect and not all children will cooperate with your 'rules'....i just dont buy any of it BUT to each's own....if it supposedly works for you congrats. but i'd love to be a fly on the wall at your place
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Old 11-11-2010, 05:12 AM
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it sounds like you're talking about an older child hitting a baby who "doesn't know any better." that's not what i'm talking about - that's obviously not okay and not likely to happen. an older child hitting a baby is grasping at straws to try to explain.

2 kids of the same age who are, let's say 12-24 months old, ARE going to try to take toys away from each other. and when 12 month old suzie tries to take away 12 month old billy's toy - billy is going to smack, bite, pinch, scratch, or get a handful of hair at least ONCE! that's what young children DO. they don't know NOT to do that until they are taught not to do it, and you can't really teach them not to do it until it happens. unless of course they're required to watch a video that explains the importance of keeping hands to yourselves.

i don't care what kind of supernanny you are - you can not be hovering over every child EVERY second year after year and prevent the inevitable.
I don't mix and match kids of that age group together because what you are saying is true. They don't free play together when they are twelve months old. I have the space and the staff to rotate them in play with the older and more experienced children who understand the "surrender to the baby". The babies don't understand surrender to the baby because they ARE the baby.

I rotate my kids in play. I make sure that the older children pass down to the younger children our ways.

I could put a 24 month child with a 12 month child and by the time the 24 month was 24 months he would be balanced and stable and know the proper way to manage the 12 month old. We do a LOT of training in this age range. It's the foundational age for teaching our non violent approach.
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Old 11-11-2010, 05:18 AM
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I don't mix and match kids of that age group together because what you are saying is true. They don't free play together when they are twelve months old. I have the space and the staff to rotate them in play with the older and more experienced children who understand the "surrender to the baby". The babies don't understand surrender to the baby because they ARE the baby.

I rotate my kids in play. I make sure that the older children pass down to the younger children our ways.

I could put a 24 month child with a 12 month child and by the time the 24 month was 24 months he would be balanced and stable and know the proper way to manage the 12 month old. We do a LOT of training in this age range. It's the foundational age for teaching our non violent approach.
so are you saying children of the same age groups do not play together??? thats crazy! a 2 yr old does NOT need to be with a 12month old as you say. children NEED to be with the same ages. I would never leave my child in your care with your 'rules'. They are crazy!

rotating children? LOL thats funny!
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Old 11-11-2010, 05:52 AM
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so are you saying children of the same age groups do not play together??? thats crazy! a 2 yr old does NOT need to be with a 12month old as you say. children NEED to be with the same ages. I would never leave my child in your care with your 'rules'. They are crazy!

rotating children? LOL thats funny!
I have a very large play area in my home. I have five times what the state requires for space per child. I have two master play room that are about 300 square feet each plus separate sleeping rooms. I have a full time staff assistant and a max of a one to four ratio.

YES I do not mix two twelve month olds in play. I rotate kids thru different areas of the play rooms and of course we go out. The twelve month olds eat together, sleep in the same room, and ride in the stroller together but they do not play in the same area of the playroom at the same time together.

I need this time to train them one by one and do so with the older more experienced kid.

If you could not understand this kind of system, value it, and be willing to PAY for it then I wouldn't bother to interview you. So you are right.. it wouldn't work out.
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Old 11-11-2010, 06:13 AM
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I have no idea what my login information is anymore, but I do want to comment on this.

The key thing here is that Nan has 3 people for 6 or 7 kids, and in that number is a baby or two that certainly isn't cabpable of hitting, biting, etc. That leaves 4 or 5 children for 2 adults. In that scenario, an adult who is actively supervising the kids (the key word being ACTIVELY) wouldn't have any problem at ALL from keeping kids from hitting. Personally, I have no doubt that if I were to do daycare that way, that I could keep this a pretty smack free enviornment.

As it stands, I have 8 kids under school age, 2 of which are under the age of two, and 5 of which are in diapers.

If I were working outside the home, I would love Nann to keep my kids. They are well fed, safe, playing with child powered toys, and are more than adequately supervised. Sounds good to me! Then again, I don't need a provider to provide a family. Just good solid daycare.

3kidsmom
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Old 11-11-2010, 06:33 AM
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How do the kids you watch adjust once they leave your care and start school and are suddenly surrounded by kids their own age? They aren't rotated out, they are with the same kids all the day through! Also suddenly they are seeing all sorts of new behaviors, vocab and things you refer to as violence and didn't put up with, just wondering how they all adjust?
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Old 11-11-2010, 06:42 AM
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I haven't said anything yet, just reading this...
Nannyde, I can appreciate the thoughtfulness with which you speak on this forum, you are well-spoken despite your lack of popularity. That is commendable.
With all due respect, not to throw another wrench in it... I respectfully decline to see the draw in sending my kid to your robot farm. It seems like you have total domination and control over there, and I was wondering...who's got the kids while you type, or are you THAT good?
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Old 11-11-2010, 06:50 AM
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I have been reading these posts and learning from all, but I do have a question for you Nannyde...what happens to the kids when they leave your care? It seems as though you have changed the world (environment) for them and "trained" them to abide by your rules and theories, but what happens when they go off to school and find out that the real world works nothing like the environment they just spent the last 5 or 6 years in? What happens when they interact with kids who are behaving as most normal kids do? What happens when you do not come quickly and "right the world" for them? They have no social skills....they may have all the correct social skills to survive in your environment, but what about skills for the real world with real kids? I respect your methods and ways you do things because it has obviously been a VERY successful thing for you...you have the enrollment and past years experience as proof....However, I am just wondering how these practices apply in the real world for the kids...do they go through a type of de-programming so they can function outside of your care?
Honestly, if your methods work, you should seriously consider becoming a childcare mentor and tour the country teaching providers how to make this happen in their childcares...because I have been doing childcare for over 17 years and if I had one day, just one day where there wasn't some type of conflict between kids or between kids and their parents I would consider that a good day...heck, even a miracle!
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Old 11-11-2010, 07:18 AM
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How do the kids you watch adjust once they leave your care and start school and are suddenly surrounded by kids their own age? They aren't rotated out, they are with the same kids all the day through! Also suddenly they are seeing all sorts of new behaviors, vocab and things you refer to as violence and didn't put up with, just wondering how they all adjust?
This is what I was wondering. It all works great within the confines of your daycare, but what about out in the great melting pot called kindergarten where they are going to interact with kids who were raised differently? Do they have the skills to cope?
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Old 11-11-2010, 08:32 AM
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wow!

i dont buy any of it BUT if it works in your head i say go for it!

sounds like you must have THE only perfect parents as well. I have NEVER in my 24yrs EVER had a child not bit, hit, push, throw tantrums, etc....its normal child behavior.

Nor do i understand why you do not let children be children with their OWN ages. That just baffles me. thats how they learn.
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Old 11-11-2010, 08:40 AM
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Well, just to make things interesting, from what I've heard of Nannyde's philosophy, I would love to send my kids to her . I don't agree with everything she's said, but I do like the "no violence" philosophy. And if she can make it work, more power to her! I would love to know that my kids were being watched that carefully, and that the chances of other kids attacking them were close to none. And, I would love for them to be learning the verbal skills that I'm assuming she probably teaches them as well (ie. using words instead of hands to get someone to stop bugging you).

In our school, these are characteristics that the school board insists on in children. The anti-bullying curriculum is all about using your words and getting help from a grown-up, instead of fighting back physically. I've tried to teach my kids the same ideals since they were born, and if I had to send them to daycare, I would much rather have a provider with a similar method!
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Old 11-11-2010, 08:45 AM
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Well, just to make things interesting, from what I've heard of Nannyde's philosophy, I would love to send my kids to her . I don't agree with everything she's said, but I do like the "no violence" philosophy. And if she can make it work, more power to her! I would love to know that my kids were being watched that carefully, and that the chances of other kids attacking them were close to none. And, I would love for them to be learning the verbal skills that I'm assuming she probably teaches them as well (ie. using words instead of hands to get someone to stop bugging you).

In our school, these are characteristics that the school board insists on in children. The anti-bullying curriculum is all about using your words and getting help from a grown-up, instead of fighting back physically. I've tried to teach my kids the same ideals since they were born, and if I had to send them to daycare, I would much rather have a provider with a similar method!
I completely agree. Just this morning I had a 1yo smack the 2yo for absolutely no other reason than he was "there". And then a 3 1/2yo usually non-violent dcb used a plastic toy to hit the 2yo in the face. I was right there both times! And it didn't even phase either of these children! At this point I would do about anything for a harmonious, violence-free daycare!

So...Nannyde - what do you do about screamers/whiners and non-nappers?
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Old 11-11-2010, 09:21 AM
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Quote:
In our school, these are characteristics that the school board insists on in children. The anti-bullying curriculum is all about using your words and getting help from a grown-up, instead of fighting back physically. I've tried to teach my kids the same ideals since they were born, and if I had to send them to daycare, I would much rather have a provider with a similar method!
I use the same philosophy. I don't allow hitting, pushing or any of those things. They are not only discouraged but the children in my care will receive a consquence for them and I discuss with parents. I encourage using words over actions always. I help them find the words they need. When they grunt or push I help them use their words - they don't get things by yelling or crying or grunting. I teach manners and expect them to be used. I encourage respect for everyone and everything in my home and out of my home. I teach sharing and understanding. I help the older kids to understand that the younger kids are little kids but not to relinquish anything to them just because they are little. We share and take turns. But in everything that I teach and expect there are always situations during the learning process where a child makes the wrong choice. My job is to help them learn the right way to express themselves. I don't like the implications made that anything other than nans way is teaching or allowing violence.
I find it idiotic.

If I have an 18 month old that hits another child (even a 4 year old <gasp>) I try to figure out what caused the hitting to begin with. Generally it is a lack of ability to communicate. I help them find the words they need in order to avoid hitting in the future.. but it takes time and understanding.

I think if I separated my kids in groups of say 1 18 month old with 1 four year old. I'd still end up with squabbles because the 18 month old is looking for instant gratification and I don't believe the 4 year old should give in to the 18 month old every time. I think if they did there would never be hitting - but I think that 18 month old is old enough to learn about waiting their turn. While learning to wait their turn they get frustrated and can occasionally hit or yell or shove or try to simply TAKE from the 4 year old. That doesn't make them violent! That makes them a 18 month old that hasn't yet learned or is still in the process of learning their words and the concept of sharing.
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Old 11-11-2010, 09:24 AM
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I wanted to add that on your website there is clearly a little girl wearing a barret and a little boy wearing TIE shoes
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Old 11-11-2010, 09:28 AM
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I wanted to add that on your website there is clearly a little girl wearing a barret and a little boy wearing TIE shoes
oooo i wanna see , what is it?
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Old 11-11-2010, 10:21 AM
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I use the same philosophy. I don't allow hitting, pushing or any of those things. They are not only discouraged but the children in my care will receive a consquence for them and I discuss with parents. I encourage using words over actions always. I help them find the words they need. When they grunt or push I help them use their words - they don't get things by yelling or crying or grunting. I teach manners and expect them to be used. I encourage respect for everyone and everything in my home and out of my home. I teach sharing and understanding. I help the older kids to understand that the younger kids are little kids but not to relinquish anything to them just because they are little. We share and take turns. But in everything that I teach and expect there are always situations during the learning process where a child makes the wrong choice. My job is to help them learn the right way to express themselves. I don't like the implications made that anything other than nans way is teaching or allowing violence.
I find it idiotic.

If I have an 18 month old that hits another child (even a 4 year old <gasp>) I try to figure out what caused the hitting to begin with. Generally it is a lack of ability to communicate. I help them find the words they need in order to avoid hitting in the future.. but it takes time and understanding.

I think if I separated my kids in groups of say 1 18 month old with 1 four year old. I'd still end up with squabbles because the 18 month old is looking for instant gratification and I don't believe the 4 year old should give in to the 18 month old every time. I think if they did there would never be hitting - but I think that 18 month old is old enough to learn about waiting their turn. While learning to wait their turn they get frustrated and can occasionally hit or yell or shove or try to simply TAKE from the 4 year old. That doesn't make them violent! That makes them a 18 month old that hasn't yet learned or is still in the process of learning their words and the concept of sharing.
Amen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 11-11-2010, 10:24 AM
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oooo i wanna see , what is it?
I won't flat out give out the website, but copy & paste (into your search window) a portion of her policies she had in a post on page 1, and it will come up.

I'm sorry. I wasn't going to make comments, but you say you keep parents away from other children and they are not allowed to observe your daycare in action. How, then, can they be "guaranteed to feel good about their day care choice." ? And how can they be sure that "Leaving your child with Nan ensures your child will spend their day in a safe, loving, and fun filled environment." ? How do they know what goes on if they don't witness it?

Also, identity is so secret, and parents can't even lay eyes on any of the other children, but yet their pictures are on the World Wide Web.

Again, you've taken this so well and I commend you, but I just cannot fathom your philosophies. Sorry!
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Old 11-11-2010, 10:53 AM
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I wanted to add that on your website there is clearly a little girl wearing a barret and a little boy wearing TIE shoes
little girl wearing a barret: barbie accessory

little boy wearing TIE shoes: Outdoors ties are fine.
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Old 11-11-2010, 10:53 AM
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oooo i wanna see , what is it?
www.nanshouse.com
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Old 11-11-2010, 10:56 AM
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I won't flat out give out the website, but copy & paste (into your search window) a portion of her policies she had in a post on page 1, and it will come up.

I'm sorry. I wasn't going to make comments, but you say you keep parents away from other children and they are not allowed to observe your daycare in action. How, then, can they be "guaranteed to feel good about their day care choice." ? And how can they be sure that "Leaving your child with Nan ensures your child will spend their day in a safe, loving, and fun filled environment." ? How do they know what goes on if they don't witness it?

Also, identity is so secret, and parents can't even lay eyes on any of the other children, but yet their pictures are on the World Wide Web.

Again, you've taken this so well and I commend you, but I just cannot fathom your philosophies. Sorry!
identity is so secret what does that mean? Where did you see me say that?

parents can't even lay eyes on any of the other children You made that up. I didn't say that anywhere.

Again, you've taken this so well and I commend you, but I just cannot fathom your philosophies. Taken WHAT so well? I don't know what you mean.
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Old 11-11-2010, 11:10 AM
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I haven't said anything yet, just reading this...
Nannyde, I can appreciate the thoughtfulness with which you speak on this forum, you are well-spoken despite your lack of popularity. That is commendable.
With all due respect, not to throw another wrench in it... I respectfully decline to see the draw in sending my kid to your robot farm. It seems like you have total domination and control over there, and I was wondering...who's got the kids while you type, or are you THAT good?
robot farm

Now that is funny
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Old 11-11-2010, 11:11 AM
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identity is so secret what does that mean? Where did you see me say that?

parents can't even lay eyes on any of the other children You made that up. I didn't say that anywhere.

Again, you've taken this so well and I commend you, but I just cannot fathom your philosophies. Taken WHAT so well? I don't know what you mean.
I won't turn this into a back & forth thing. I'm really commending you for taking all the negative attention well. People (including myself) have strongly disagreed with your methods, and you have not come back in a snarky way. Kudos for that.

The rest, I'm taking perceived meaning of what you have said throughout this whole thread that parents are explicitly NOT allowed in the daycare room(s) and are explicitly NOT allowed to interact with the other kids. Did you not say that you don't want the families to form a relationship? (edited to add a quote from you): "I don't allow the day care parents around the other day care kids." If I have interpreted your incorrectly, I apologize. I really wasn't even going to comment, as I made it clear in an earlier post in this thread, but I broke down and just had to point out that you post pictures of these otherwise seemingly esoteric kids. In all truthfulness, there is obviously a niche for your brand of care, and if it is working, more power to you. Carry on. It's just not for me in any way, shape, or form. But that's neither here nor there, right?
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Old 11-11-2010, 11:17 AM
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Originally Posted by caitlin View Post
nannyde what does your son do during the day? I imagine he is at school most of the day now, since he is older, but what about before? What about when he was an infant or toddler? Did you send him to another daycare?

I just don't get it. The biting, tantrums, hitting, etc are all normal toddler behaviors, it is how they learn before they are verbal. I wish I could avoid all of that, but I don't understand how you can do it.

What ages do you have?
birth to five

He's in school but when he was younger he cruised the house and did his own thing.
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Old 11-11-2010, 11:50 AM
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Nannyde, I am very interested in your techniques. I have a VERY low tolerance for physical contact among my own kids and my dc kids. Even a pat on the back can get out of control quite quickly. However, many times I haven't been able to predict a random outburst of hitting. Up until I read what you said earlier in this thread, I have been operating under the assumption that hitting, biting, etc. is normal (even though it's unacceptable and I deal with it as promptly as possible). My working theory has been that some children (not all) need to experience consequences before understanding what's right and wrong in the first place. And of course, the only way they can experience consequences is by breaking the rules. I hadn't considered the idea that the aggression isn't a necessary evil of childhood.

How do you prevent it, especially among children so young? How exactly do you avoid the inevitable toddler outburst? If a child comes to you over the age of one, how do you teach them your rules without them testing them?
Dbug

You are welcome to call me. I do some coaching for providers during nap or evenings. If you message me your number I could set up a time to call you. I have free long distance.

Just let me know if I can help.
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Old 11-11-2010, 01:07 PM
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I still can't imagine this, and I am sorry. I have four children in my care M-F, a 5 month old, 20 month old, 12 month old and 28 month old. I have no staff to assist me. I don't allow "violence" in my home, but it still happens. I correct it when it happens, but it STILL happens. Today, my son (12 months) hit the 28 month old. I corrected it, told my ds hitting is not nice, gave the dcb a hug and they were fine. Are they going to grow into serial killers? No.

I would like to hear some more of your methods. Like, when your son was little how do you get infants and your son on such a good schedule that he was asleep when they were awake and vice versa?
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Old 11-11-2010, 02:07 PM
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How do the kids you watch adjust once they leave your care and start school and are suddenly surrounded by kids their own age? They aren't rotated out, they are with the same kids all the day through! Also suddenly they are seeing all sorts of new behaviors, vocab and things you refer to as violence and didn't put up with, just wondering how they all adjust?
That's a great question JP

You have to remember that the children have a life outside of day care. They have family, friends, neighbors, church ties, etc. They go out into the world all the time without me and their mates here.

They are usually here until Kindy so I make it a point to start talking to the parents around March or so about preparing them for what life will be like in a bigger group of kids and a different caretaker.

It's really important to have these conversations with the parents and over time (usually about six months) we start discussing it with the child going to Kindy.

We try to prepare them as much as we can for things that will be different and things we think will be the same. Kids being physical with them is one of our main topics. We don't want to SCARE them into thinking they will get the crap beat out of them but they DO need to know that there will be kids there who solve things by fighting. There is really no way to prepare them for it other than talking about it.

It's like all other phases of life. We do our best to give them a good foundation but eventually they WILL get out into the world and see things they didn't know existed.

I have only one family here who have a school aged child who was raised here. I asked her Dad this afternoon what he remembers of her adjustment. He said that she didn't understand "tattling" when she started Kindy. She had to learn when to and not to tell an adult what other kids were doing. The concept of tattling never came up in her childhood here

She's an awesome little student and an even better friend. She definitely got what she needed for success. I'm not too worried about those who come after her.

A good solid childhood with stability, consistency, and discipline will ALWAYS serve them well.
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Old 11-11-2010, 04:35 PM
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may i ask , am i the only one who thinks the part of no lotions, smells of perfume,etc and telling a parent what detergent can be used is a bit extreme??

but if it works for you, thats great
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Old 11-11-2010, 05:26 PM
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may i ask , am i the only one who thinks the part of no lotions, smells of perfume,etc and telling a parent what detergent can be used is a bit extreme??

but if it works for you, thats great
It is extreme isn't it? I have a special needs child who is violently allergic to scents. Protecting that child is required by Federal Law.

http://www.ada.gov/childq%26a.htm

Centers have to make reasonable modifications to their policies and practices to integrate children, parents, and guardians with disabilities into their programs unless doing so would constitute a fundamental alteration.

Providing a scent free environment is a modification I am REQUIRED to make for this child.

It's so extreme

My day care parents know how important it is to keep this kid safe. They go to EXTREME measures to make sure they don't expose him to something that could take his life.

Rediculous isn't it?
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Old 11-11-2010, 06:08 PM
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Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
It is extreme isn't it? I have a special needs child who is violently allergic to scents. Protecting that child is required by Federal Law.

http://www.ada.gov/childq%26a.htm

Centers have to make reasonable modifications to their policies and practices to integrate children, parents, and guardians with disabilities into their programs unless doing so would constitute a fundamental alteration.

Providing a scent free environment is a modification I am REQUIRED to make for this child.

It's so extreme

My day care parents know how important it is to keep this kid safe. They go to EXTREME measures to make sure they don't expose him to something that could take his life.

Rediculous isn't it?
lil touche? no need to be so ugly...i personally thought it was extreme and said if it works thats great for you. i was NOT ugly ! i understand about keeping children safe DUH!
i should call Dr. Phil ...maybe you need to really expand yourself...seriously..not being mean. you may really help someone!
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Old 11-11-2010, 06:20 PM
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Way back when I worked at a private college prep school. The school served children from PreK through 12th grade. The tuition? $20K per year, not including uniforms, meal services, or bussing. It also didn't include the expected "fair share" contribution to the annual fund (the fair share amound was $1500 per family to make the million dollar per year goal) nor the expected contribution to the endowment fund. It didn't include donations to the silent auction OR the volunteer hours which were REQUIRED of all parents. Interestingly, although these children did get a great education, it is NOT the best education. In fact, there were a several public schools who scored higher for the state of MN.

So, why would parents shell out $20K so little Susie's early education? Well, the school offered something that they wanted for their child. Often, it was bragging rights...You know, like, "OMG! It is SO hard to get in there! We had to attend THREE seperate interviews!"

Sometimes it may have been something that was important to them, such as...

"We only eat whole foods, organics, and chemical free foods...my child's school serves NOTHING but the best food!"

or for the crunchy granola types,

"The _____ School requires all kids to participate in charitable activities...in FACT all kids must do a one year long service project. My little Susie is building arc's in Bosnia."

Of course, there is always, "OMG! Your child got HIT? In school? OMG!!!! That would never happen in my child's school. My child's school is a safe enviornment."

Now, lots of parents would give say, "OMG! I am SO not going to spend that kind of money for Susie to go to freakin' preschool! Are those people crazy? Where do they get off charging that, expecting this, or requiring that! Those kids are no better than mine, and I bet that they get in to their fair share of trouble too"

The answer is simple, because they CAN!

Hats off Nan! You have created the ultimate it private daycare. You have established a reputation for providing nothing but the best, and your parents are willing to jump through hoops to get it! Good for you!

3kidsmom

For the record, I would guess that the reason that Nan doesn't get upset when people disagree is because she is laughing her way to the bank..after a relatively stress free day of doing things her own way, and having her parents appreciate her for it.
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Old 11-11-2010, 07:02 PM
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it doesn't seem like the rates are really much higher than anyone's and even lower than some.

it's not really a matter of how things are done. it's the fact that someone can claim to never have a child even attempt to be aggressive (a YOUNG child doing what young children do) EVER...not ONE time...in 17 years. it's bologna.
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Old 11-12-2010, 01:40 AM
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it doesn't seem like the rates are really much higher than anyone's and even lower than some.

it's not really a matter of how things are done. it's the fact that someone can claim to never have a child even attempt to be aggressive (a YOUNG child doing what young children do) EVER...not ONE time...in 17 years. it's bologna.
For my area my rates are high. I make more per kid than the Center down the street from me but I also have a better adult to child ratio than they do.
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Old 11-12-2010, 02:13 AM
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Hats off Nan! You have created the ultimate it private daycare. You have established a reputation for providing nothing but the best, and your parents are willing to jump through hoops to get it! Good for you!

3kidsmom

For the record, I would guess that the reason that Nan doesn't get upset when people disagree is because she is laughing her way to the bank..after a relatively stress free day of doing things her own way, and having her parents appreciate her for it.

Ah this is nuttin. I've been on day care message boards for 12 years.

I'm so used to it that it goes in one and out the other. I think it's terribly sad that the idea of raising kids without violence (defined by me as hitting, shoving, kicking, hair pulling, slapping, slamming, and biting) is just impossible to do.

It IS possible. I've been doing it for YEARS. I had to learn my first year of doing care what to do to avoid it but I've been completely successful since.

People want a magic bullet answer to what makes it work and I don't have ONE thing or a small group of things that I do to make this happen. I have hundreds of rules of play and hundreds of non direct care things I do to make it all happen so easily, so calmly, and so happily every day. One of my hundreds of rules is NO PARENTS IN THE PLAYROOM that contributes greatly to keep children and the energy in the house C-A-L-M. Calm kids don't fight. One of the main reasons I get picked is because we are violence free. If the parent wants that they have to do THEIR part in making that happen and THEIR part is to stay clear of my playroom where the other kids are playing.

I haven't written a book on this so I don't have all my methods pretyped out or put into words. It would take me forever to do that so the best I can do is answer posts as they come up and say what I do. Whenever I do that I get whacked upside the head for either lying or being mean to kids. I'm used to that ... it happens every time.

Oh and laugh to the bank... yes we are very successful here BUT a lot of it goes into the program so I don't get to keep it all of course. I actually live a very modest life in a middle class neighborhood. I'm very very fortunate that I have been able to prosper especially in the last three years since the economy here took a dive. Our providers here are DYING for kids. The Center down the street from me is at 40 percent capacity right now. I think they may actually close down soon. I don't think they will make it much longer. They have a capacity for 65 kids and they only have two or three cars in their parkinglot every day when I take my kids to see their kids. (My kids call them the "fenced in kids"" When I ask the on site supervisor how many kids do you have today she says 27 or 32. That's not good.

My friends who have done day care for twenty plus years are all sitting at half capacity. It's very very hard to compete with providers offering 90 dollar a week day care and in some areas the average has dropped to that. For the first time in my long career State Paid kids are the highest paying kids on the market for most providers in our area. That's a pretty sad deal.

I've stayed full all the way and have been able to raise rates. It hasn't affected my business in any way. Now I have a waiting list... woooot

I have a part time Forum job called "Ask the Nan" at www.justthebabysitter.com where I answer specific questions regarding growth and development and discipline. Ease on over if you have any specific questions. It takes me a bit to get them answered but I will get to it as soon as I can.
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Old 11-12-2010, 02:21 AM
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Originally Posted by BentleysBands View Post
lil touche? no need to be so ugly...i personally thought it was extreme and said if it works thats great for you. i was NOT ugly ! i understand about keeping children safe DUH!
i should call Dr. Phil ...maybe you need to really expand yourself...seriously..not being mean. you may really help someone!
Did you read the part that said "Due to a very serious allergy to most perfumes and fragrances, parents and children may not enter the day care at any time wearing any kind of perfume, after shave, lotion, or scents. "?

How in Gods green earth could you think a policy about scents could be extreme AFTER you read that section which was before the list of specific lotions and scents that would be okay?

Touchy? Yeah because what you said was RUDE. It's like you don't even CARE about someone in the house having a very serious allergy.
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Old 11-12-2010, 02:42 AM
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Did you read the part that said "Due to a very serious allergy to most perfumes and fragrances, parents and children may not enter the day care at any time wearing any kind of perfume, after shave, lotion, or scents. "?

How in Gods green earth could you think a policy about scents could be extreme AFTER you read that section which was before the list of specific lotions and scents that would be okay?

Touchy? Yeah because what you said was RUDE. It's like you don't even CARE about someone in the house having a very serious allergy.
LOL interesting as I DO have a very allergic person IN my home, ME...alllergic to BS !
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Old 11-12-2010, 02:47 AM
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I think it's terribly sad that the idea of raising kids without violence (defined by me as hitting, shoving, kicking, hair pulling, slapping, slamming, and biting) is just impossible to do.
I just want to clarify that I too am raising children without violence. I don't teach it, accept it, tolerate it, promote it, expose them to it or encourage it. I live in a violence free home.
Just because a child hit once in your home does NOT mean that you are raising them WITH violence. Instead of booting a child out of my care for violence I'd rather take the time and help this child learn the right way.

I stand by my post earlier which I'd be curious to see how many share the same philosophy...
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I use the same philosophy. I don't allow hitting, pushing or any of those things. They are not only discouraged but the children in my care will receive a consquence for them and I discuss with parents. I encourage using words over actions always. I help them find the words they need. When they grunt or push I help them use their words - they don't get things by yelling or crying or grunting. I teach manners and expect them to be used. I encourage respect for everyone and everything in my home and out of my home. I teach sharing and understanding. I help the older kids to understand that the younger kids are little kids but not to relinquish anything to them just because they are little. We share and take turns. But in everything that I teach and expect there are always situations during the learning process where a child makes the wrong choice. My job is to help them learn the right way to express themselves. I don't like the implications made that anything other than nans way is teaching or allowing violence.
I find it idiotic.

If I have an 18 month old that hits another child (even a 4 year old <gasp>) I try to figure out what caused the hitting to begin with. Generally it is a lack of ability to communicate. I help them find the words they need in order to avoid hitting in the future.. but it takes time and understanding.

I think if I separated my kids in groups of say 1 18 month old with 1 four year old. I'd still end up with squabbles because the 18 month old is looking for instant gratification and I don't believe the 4 year old should give in to the 18 month old every time. I think if they did there would never be hitting - but I think that 18 month old is old enough to learn about waiting their turn. While learning to wait their turn they get frustrated and can occasionally hit or yell or shove or try to simply TAKE from the 4 year old. That doesn't make them violent! That makes them a 18 month old that hasn't yet learned or is still in the process of learning their words and the concept of sharing.
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Old 11-12-2010, 02:50 AM
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Did you read the part that said "Due to a very serious allergy to most perfumes and fragrances, parents and children may not enter the day care at any time wearing any kind of perfume, after shave, lotion, or scents. "?

How in Gods green earth could you think a policy about scents could be extreme AFTER you read that section which was before the list of specific lotions and scents that would be okay?

Touchy? Yeah because what you said was RUDE. It's like you don't even CARE about someone in the house having a very serious allergy.
I speak only for myself but as much as we all would like to live in your rose colored glasses world, we can't.

I read your policies nannyde. I also read the information you post on this forum (I am not on any other forum). In IMHO I don't really know how you stay in business. I am not talking about your rules, philosophies etc. I am talking about how these so called parents let YOU call the shots. Letting YOU make the decisions on how to raise THEIR child. IE feeding, what diapers and wipes to buy, etc. How can these parents let a complete stranger , regardless of how long you known them, rule over their parenting job. I also find disturbing is that these parents agree to not go to the area where their child plays and at least see and meet their child's friends! That is what is ridiculous. But I totally blame the parents for allowing it.

As for the child who allergy is severe. I totally respect the fact that you are taking precautions for this child's life. However what does this child do in the outside world? Does he become a bubble boy? This boy needs to have one on one care if his life is in danger by the whiff of perfume.

IMO your "policy" about this child is just another strict command to take complete charge over everything.
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Old 11-12-2010, 02:58 AM
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I just want to clarify that I too am raising children without violence. I don't teach it, accept it, tolerate it, promote it, expose them to it or encourage it. I live in a violence free home.
Just because a child hit once in your home does NOT mean that you are raising them WITH violence. Instead of booting a child out of my care for violence I'd rather take the time and help this child learn the right way.

I stand by my post earlier which I'd be curious to see how many share the same philosophy...
I agree!!

i dont believe ANY one promotes hitting, violence. We are all in the business, atleast most i hope, to care and nurture children in a respectful manner , like our OWN children! I also agree w/working with a child. Theres no way in hell a child in her care has ever hit. just dont buy it. the PP said it perfectly!
anyone can be anything behind a computer screen or closed doors
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Old 11-12-2010, 03:29 AM
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LOL interesting as I DO have a very allergic person IN my home, ME...alllergic to BS !
Now you are just tossing words around.

Did you understand that there was a person in the house with allergies to scents? If so, then how could you say that it was extreme to tell parents what scents would be okay and to ask specifically for scent free detergents?

What part of that is extreme or did you just not understand?
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Old 11-12-2010, 03:38 AM
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you know, i may not agree with all of what nannyde is saying....

but.....

how many of us come here to this board day in and day out bitching and complaining about about the same issues all the time? parents, kids behaviors, stress at drop offs and pick ups, lack of payments, etc, etc, etc,....

how many posts of nannyde's have you ever read about her complainng about these things?

like i said, i dont agree with everything she says, but

i'm just saying....
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Old 11-12-2010, 04:04 AM
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Now you are just tossing words around.

Did you understand that there was a person in the house with allergies to scents? If so, then how could you say that it was extreme to tell parents what scents would be okay and to ask specifically for scent free detergents?

What part of that is extreme or did you just not understand?
understood very well thanks

so why havent you answered a previous question ... how do u run your program so perfect and be able to write 'book' responses?
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Old 11-12-2010, 04:45 AM
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For my area my rates are high. I make more per kid than the Center down the street from me but I also have a better adult to child ratio than they do.
not prep school daycare high (which i was responding to the post about the expensive schools).
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Old 11-12-2010, 05:12 AM
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I just want to clarify that I too am raising children without violence. I don't teach it, accept it, tolerate it, promote it, expose them to it or encourage it. I live in a violence free home.
Just because a child hit once in your home does NOT mean that you are raising them WITH violence. Instead of booting a child out of my care for violence I'd rather take the time and help this child learn the right way.

I stand by my post earlier which I'd be curious to see how many share the same philosophy...
i agree - and i think most people do. that was the initial point is that it's normal and DAP for YOUNG children to be aggressive at least once just to see what happens, but most often it's more than once. not allowing it is one thing, but claiming it's never happened in almost 2 decades -

nannyde, is your name Jo? nah, even supernanny wouldn't claim to be able to prevent the inevitable - she just knows how to stop it like most human beings.
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Old 11-12-2010, 05:30 AM
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Gosh some of you guys on this board are so rude. Why do you think it's okay to keep attacking another provider? I thought this board was here to be a help? How about we try being examples of how we want our children to behave?

I used to babysit for a woman with extreme scent allergies. She had me keep clothes at her house that she washed and when I came in I had to change into those clothes because she was so sensitive to anything that might come in to the house. It is a real problem for some people and Nan is great to offer that service/accomodation if she is able to.
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Old 11-12-2010, 05:32 AM
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I speak only for myself but as much as we all would like to live in your rose colored glasses world, we can't.

I read your policies nannyde. I also read the information you post on this forum (I am not on any other forum). In IMHO I don't really know how you stay in business. I am not talking about your rules, philosophies etc. I am talking about how these so called parents let YOU call the shots. Letting YOU make the decisions on how to raise THEIR child. IE feeding, what diapers and wipes to buy, etc. How can these parents let a complete stranger , regardless of how long you known them, rule over their parenting job. I also find disturbing is that these parents agree to not go to the area where their child plays and at least see and meet their child's friends! That is what is ridiculous. But I totally blame the parents for allowing it.

As for the child who allergy is severe. I totally respect the fact that you are taking precautions for this child's life. However what does this child do in the outside world? Does he become a bubble boy? This boy needs to have one on one care if his life is in danger by the whiff of perfume.

IMO your "policy" about this child is just another strict command to take complete charge over everything.
As for the child who allergy is severe. I totally respect the fact that you are taking precautions for this child's life. However what does this child do in the outside world? Does he become a bubble boy?

His caregiver carries rescue medication with him at all times.

This boy needs to have one on one care if his life is in danger by the whiff of perfume

Or they can pay me a awesome salary to manage a "no scent" day care. Well over three years and never an incident. He's been protected every day.

IMO your "policy" about this child is just another strict command to take complete charge over everything Yes that is correct.

In IMHO I don't really know how you stay in business. Seventeen years of in home child care and a total of 31 years caring for kids as a Nanny and a School Nurse. It's UNBELIEVABLE that I'm able to pull it off isn't it? After all these years I get to do what "I" think is right. I get to have policies that make "ME" happy. I get to set up my business with policies that net a stress free life here for me, my kid, my staff assistant, and the day care kids.

The parents go thru a intensive set of interviews over WEEKS before they get an opportunity to enroll here. They spend as little as 5 hours and some as many as eight in my home on a minimum of three different interviews that are done over weeks if not months. They have a lot of TIME to think about our policies. They are given a full list of names of current clients and any client that has accessed my services in the last five calander year. They have the TIME to call each one individually and spend TIME asking questions about life in the day care. They are interviewing people who REALLY know because they live this life with their child in my care. I have clients attending who I have worked for for over six years. One for nearly five. One for four. One for 3.5 years. (you can see this is the truth by looking at the age progression of the children in my photos). These kids are still HERE attending FULL TIME.

The hours upon hours of time I spend with each client before I consider enrolling them is spent going thru specifically my philosophy of care. I'm VERY clear that I am the one making the decisions. These are my decisions. Will these decisions work for you? If not, this is not a good match.

They have access to not one but two unnanounced State Inspections where I received 100 percent compliance both times. They are copied and given to them at the first interview. That's an amazing gift to them and the smart ones recognize how unique it is to find care where the provider meets five hundred plus points of compliance on any given day unnanounced TWICE.

I decide to decide. That's my decision. It's a very big decision for a new parent to allow someone esle to decide. This is why it takes WEEKS of interviewing and researching. If it doesn't work for them then this just isn't the right place for them and that's all cool.

Even with all that they are not offered a contract with me until they have been here at least three months but usually six to eight months. I want them to have a SIGNIFICANT amount of experience here with my day to day decisions before they commit. They can walk away at any time during this long probationary time without ANY financial obligation and no notice.

They aren't mindless automotons. They are leaders themselves so they know the importance of the person caring for their kid to be the leader. They respect the leader because that's what they do in THEIR jobs.

They are quite well versed at the house of Nan before they come. They trust me. That's why they start here and stay here year after year after year after year. The KNOW I'm doing great because every day their kid comes home in awesome condition.

The Mama knows Mama love when she sees it. On that you can rely.

No more on this now. You guys aren't going to accept it no matter what. It's so foreign to you and appears to be full of lies and deceit so we shall leave it at that.
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Old 11-12-2010, 06:40 AM
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The scent policy is totally reasonable. Scent allergies can be as bad in their way as peanut or shellfish allergies. When I was in high school, one of the teachers was extremely allergic to scents and her classroom was a scent-free zone. The students in her classes could not wear perfumes or strong scents. I never took a class from her, but as far as I know, everyone complied. My step-mother is very allergic to scents and gets terrible asthma attacks if she is exposed to too much scent--and this extends even to deodorent, laundry detergent, etc. When we go visit my dad (and back when I had to go spend every other weekend there) we bring scentless deodorent, shampoo, soap, conditioner, everything.

People in America use WAY too much scented stuff. More people are sensitive to scents than realize it--a lot of people who have chronic headaches are suffering from scent sensitivities. Think about all the products you use in a single day that are scented...and some people use so much perfume everyday that they smell like they are marinated it in. My MIL is one, and I get a terrible headache around her. Some of my dcks even come smelling like perfumed stuff sometimes.
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Old 11-12-2010, 07:33 AM
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The scent policy is totally reasonable. Scent allergies can be as bad in their way as peanut or shellfish allergies. When I was in high school, one of the teachers was extremely allergic to scents and her classroom was a scent-free zone. The students in her classes could not wear perfumes or strong scents. I never took a class from her, but as far as I know, everyone complied. My step-mother is very allergic to scents and gets terrible asthma attacks if she is exposed to too much scent--and this extends even to deodorent, laundry detergent, etc. When we go visit my dad (and back when I had to go spend every other weekend there) we bring scentless deodorent, shampoo, soap, conditioner, everything.

People in America use WAY too much scented stuff. More people are sensitive to scents than realize it--a lot of people who have chronic headaches are suffering from scent sensitivities. Think about all the products you use in a single day that are scented...and some people use so much perfume everyday that they smell like they are marinated it in. My MIL is one, and I get a terrible headache around her. Some of my dcks even come smelling like perfumed stuff sometimes.
i agree that people go overboard on the scents, and i can see making adjustments to keep an allergic child safe. what i can't see is passing the responsibility and the bill onto all of the other parents. asking dads not to use aftershave and moms not to use lotion with scents goes beyond the children. not only do they have to think about the child at the daycare when they shop, they have to think about them if their child stays with a grandparent or someone who might use scented soap or detergent AND the bill for the unscented products is passed onto the parents of the children without allergies - even though nan says she's paid an "awesome salary" to provide a scent free zone, she isn't providing it - the parents are.

i just can't believe that there are so many parents who would adjust their lives in such a way and not be allowed to see their children interact with the provider and their peers, but as a PP said - they're the ones to blame for agreeing to such nonsense, not nan.
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Old 11-12-2010, 07:47 AM
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i think nannyde is respectfully asking everyone to drop it. no sense beating a dead horse....
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Old 11-12-2010, 07:50 AM
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hats off to nannyde but I couldnt do that. Im so glad it works for you and am glad that you are so successful.


Here we are a family childcare home, When boy Q and his sister girl O are picked up by aunt w who is also picking up her son baby J, everyone says,.. Hi aunt wee wee!!! and they make sure to say goodbye to her too,.... All my children know all of the other parents. we are extremely proud of our family atmosphere. My own kids have been raised in the daycare and no disrespect to Nannyde but my four kids, every one of them benefitted more from the interaction, the interpersonal skills, the atmosphere of a loving home environment in being raised with such a large extended family. Which is how I consider our family childcare clients. Not only do my kids, aged 19, 17, 12 and 9 interact and engage in daily conversations with not only the daycare children, but their parents grandparents and aunts and uncles.... but my older two actually provide care for families on weekends and overnights. The 12 yr old is beginning to as well. EVERY kid who has been in my home over the last 18 yrs has called my son Bubby. To this day when out he will see one and they will run and hug him and say HI BUBBY. Not only that but any friends that my kids have, (and yes, I mean big stinky teenagers ) are either Bubby too (they actually say,.. Hi Bubby too!) cause one day my 17 yr old was asked, who is that with bubby,.. and she didnt know his name so she said,.. thats bubby too,... it stuck. This is when she was 9. I cant express how important I feel interactions are between the families I care for. I think its important because when the parents see toddler M every day,.. and her behavior and how she is usually,.. and one day they say,.. son says toddler M bit him,... is everything ok? I can answer with,.. yes,.. we are just going through some things in that age stage right now but Mom and I are on top of it and hopefully it wont happen again.

Ive always done it this way. I invite my families camping, we have BBQ's, we are a big extended family.

Recently during my accreditation process I realized it was actually required to have parental involvement and interaction. Your not supposed to keep them seperate. Also, when my children were small,.. (before school age, ) I couldnt imagine keeping them in a seperate part of my home. I would have had to hire someone to care for my own child. The reason I started this was to stay home with them....

I also think the mindset of,... ""Each client is a 7-8 THOUSAND dollar a year contract and I don't want my son to have any access to that relationship. ""

is odd.
I dont worry that having my kids around would in any way jeapordize that income. If I did then We would have a refresher course in behavior. My children have never done anything to make me question their behavior.

Ive only been a provider for 21 years, Ive only been online since 91, and only been on message boards since 93. I offer advice, ideas and encouragement. I think Nannyde and I are complete opposites. Both seem to have very established businesses, I am also full at all times, and charge premium for my area. I am a very relaxed, social person who opens up my home, heart and family to the children we care for. It works for me. I just couldnt imagine being so black and white about it. to each their own.
OMG! Thank you for saying all of this!!! This is my home. First. It is my childrens home. First. It is a daycare. Second. My home is a place where children come to be loved while their parents are at work. My kids think they are the luckiest kids in the world to have playdates EVERY day! My daycare parents all love seeing the kids interacting when they come to drop off or pick up their children. No interaction is, wow, harsh, sad, and would raise a HUGE red flag if I were a parent taking my child to that daycare. So thanks, laundrymom, for saying all that you said!

As far as OP's issue, I guess I would say something the next time DCD said something like that. I would say something like, "Welcome to the world of kids, they all teach eachother wonderful habits. It doesn't stop when they are little either, unfortunately!" Then lol. I guess I wouldn't start pointing fingers at his child, don't stoop to his level. You know kids aren't perfect, his included. Hugs!
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Old 11-12-2010, 08:15 AM
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i agree that people go overboard on the scents, and i can see making adjustments to keep an allergic child safe. what i can't see is passing the responsibility and the bill onto all of the other parents. asking dads not to use aftershave and moms not to use lotion with scents goes beyond the children. not only do they have to think about the child at the daycare when they shop, they have to think about them if their child stays with a grandparent or someone who might use scented soap or detergent AND the bill for the unscented products is passed onto the parents of the children without allergies - even though nan says she's paid an "awesome salary" to provide a scent free zone, she isn't providing it - the parents are.
This happens for peanut allergies all the time as well as latex allergies. Scent may be a rarer one, but it's no less serious. There are plenty of latex-free schools and peanut free schools. There are scent-free classrooms in public schools, too. It is the law that one must provide a safe environment--part of IDEA and the LRE (Least Restrictive Environment) and responsibility gets passed onto families of classmates of the child in question all the time.
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Old 11-12-2010, 08:20 AM
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This happens for peanut allergies all the time as well as latex allergies. Scent may be a rarer one, but it's no less serious. There are plenty of latex-free schools and peanut free schools. There are scent-free classrooms in public schools, too. It is the law that one must provide a safe environment--part of IDEA and the LRE (Least Restrictive Environment) and responsibility gets passed onto families of classmates of the child in question all the time.
really? where? just curious as theres no such thing here . latex free gloves yes but not the whole school.

my childrens schools (3 diff ones) will tend to specific allergies mostly food allergies but thats it.

tho i must say that here in my area most parents are or have gone to homeschooling their kids.
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Old 11-12-2010, 09:00 AM
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I just want to clarify that I too am raising children without violence. I don't teach it, accept it, tolerate it, promote it, expose them to it or encourage it. I live in a violence free home.
Just because a child hit once in your home does NOT mean that you are raising them WITH violence. Instead of booting a child out of my care for violence I'd rather take the time and help this child learn the right way.

I stand by my post earlier which I'd be curious to see how many share the same philosophy...

Agree 100%. The aggression has to actually happen to enable you to correct it. And it happens. They are HUMAN kids. I am right there to see the frustration start building, and I take immediate steps to correct it. I, too, have a ZERO TOLERANCE for hitting, etc. That doesn't mean they get kicked out of my program if a 15 month old slaps the arm of a 2 year old because they want the same toy at the same time. That's how they learn. "Learn by your mistakes". How can you learn if you don't make the mistake in the first place? But that does NOT mean my program is "violent". I take offense to that insinuation. Believe me, I'm RIGHT there to help them use words instead of hitting. And if they are a little older and should know better, they WILL receive a consequence. Most of my kids were raised from very young and have been with me a long time. I have an 11 year old who I've had since 10 weeks old. I am always praised for how well-behaved the kids are. I take them on trips and have good comments all the time. The library lady loves us because we are quiet & respectful and clean up after ourselves. Other parents at the park will say "wow, you have some great kids there". etc, etc. That doesn't mean that they didn't push & shove a time or two when they were younger. I just don't see how that could NEVER happen unless the provider or an assistant were shadowing them and actually snatching up their little hand before it made contact with the other kid. That's all I can imagine for a completely hit or push free program is that an adult is on top of them 100% of their waking hours as is ready to just move them away if they think an altercation is going to happen. I don't know... just seems unnatural to me.
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Old 11-12-2010, 09:01 AM
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I speak only for myself but as much as we all would like to live in your rose colored glasses world, we can't.

I read your policies nannyde. I also read the information you post on this forum (I am not on any other forum). In IMHO I don't really know how you stay in business. I am not talking about your rules, philosophies etc. I am talking about how these so called parents let YOU call the shots. Letting YOU make the decisions on how to raise THEIR child. IE feeding, what diapers and wipes to buy, etc. How can these parents let a complete stranger , regardless of how long you known them, rule over their parenting job. I also find disturbing is that these parents agree to not go to the area where their child plays and at least see and meet their child's friends! That is what is ridiculous. But I totally blame the parents for allowing it.

As for the child who allergy is severe. I totally respect the fact that you are taking precautions for this child's life. However what does this child do in the outside world? Does he become a bubble boy? This boy needs to have one on one care if his life is in danger by the whiff of perfume.

IMO your "policy" about this child is just another strict command to take complete charge over everything.
You said my exact thoughts. Thank you.
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Old 11-12-2010, 09:09 AM
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"I have clients attending who I have worked for for over six years. One for nearly five. One for four. One for 3.5 years. (you can see this is the truth by looking at the age progression of the children in my photos). These kids are still HERE attending FULL TIME."

OMG, I have one for 11 years, one for 7, one for 6, sib of the 7 yr old who is now 2.5, another 2.5 and his sib both from babies.... and the list goes on. I started 16 yrs ago and my very first girl was 10 mos and stayed till age 9, another girl stayed from 7 mos till age 7 and still comes occasionally with her two sibs. I have long-term clients galore. And every one of them has had their moments of being in a bad mood and acting out. I correct it over time, and it goes away. Their parents are amazed how well-behaved they are for me. But I let them be human and have their little hiccups. It's a part of normal development.

"They have access to not one but two unnanounced State Inspections where I received 100 percent compliance both times. They are copied and given to them at the first interview. That's an amazing gift to them and the smart ones recognize how unique it is to find care where the provider meets five hundred plus points of compliance on any given day unnanounced TWICE".


I've passed every inspection (two a year) with flying colors for 16 years, thank you.

Ok, 3 posts in a row, sorry!!!!
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Old 11-12-2010, 09:46 AM
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I agree that some have been rude to Nan - but i find her equally rude insinuating that I tolerate violence in my daycare. Were not her exact words but she eluded to it repeatedly by stating

Quote:
I think it's terribly sad that the idea of raising kids without violence (defined by me as hitting, shoving, kicking, hair pulling, slapping, slamming, and biting) is just impossible to do.
Quote:
That's so sad to me. It breaks my heart to think that someone as experienced and educated as you are believes that violence in young children is as inevitable as puberty in teens.

What has our world come to
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Old 11-12-2010, 09:47 AM
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well I have to hand it to Nannyde,.. I havent recieved 100 percent on every inspection,... I must admit,..
in the last 21 years, Ive had normally a right up every year, the latest was my water temp,.. 121 degrees, instead of 120. before that,.. I had perfume on the top shelf of my medicine cabinet, and ivory bar soap in my tub,.. I got busted for having cleaning supplies out.
I also have been cited for not having a tb test for my husband last year, he had spinal surgery done 3 weeks prior to the date the previous test expired, the inspection took place 3 1/2 weeks from his surgery. NO I was NOT going to make him go to the health dept, get a tb test, walk, drive, or otherwise injur himself for a silly test,.. he had it the day after his 6 week well surgery visit. All is good. I also didnt have a physical on file, drug test on file, or tb test on file for my son who lives AT COLLEGE, not in the home. However, since he has an address here, I should have gotten that anyway. I did, 2 days after the surprise inspection. I have been cited for silly things I feel,... like, not requiring the parents to show me birth certificates,... For all but one of the kids Ive had in the last 12 years, I have visited in the hospital,.. I know who they are, who their parents are, and that they arent kidnapped, brought to another state and being passed off as someone else. I also was late on my fingerprints because the lady at city hall didnt know how to do them and it took submitting 3 sets, 3 weeks apart to get a good set. Thus making them late for my inspector to get the results prior to my surprise visit.

all in all though, I put my hands together for Nannyde,.. I couldnt possibly get 100 %. Ive tried, and even when I think Ive gotten it,.. nope. They find something.

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"I have clients attending who I have worked for for over six years. One for nearly five. One for four. One for 3.5 years. (you can see this is the truth by looking at the age progression of the children in my photos). These kids are still HERE attending FULL TIME."

OMG, I have one for 11 years, one for 7, one for 6, sib of the 7 yr old who is now 2.5, another 2.5 and his sib both from babies.... and the list goes on. I started 16 yrs ago and my very first girl was 10 mos and stayed till age 9, another girl stayed from 7 mos till age 7 and still comes occasionally with her two sibs. I have long-term clients galore. And every one of them has had their moments of being in a bad mood and acting out. I correct it over time, and it goes away. Their parents are amazed how well-behaved they are for me. But I let them be human and have their little hiccups. It's a part of normal development.

"They have access to not one but two unnanounced State Inspections where I received 100 percent compliance both times. They are copied and given to them at the first interview. That's an amazing gift to them and the smart ones recognize how unique it is to find care where the provider meets five hundred plus points of compliance on any given day unnanounced TWICE".


I've passed every inspection (two a year) with flying colors for 16 years, thank you.

Ok, 3 posts in a row, sorry!!!!
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Old 11-12-2010, 10:00 AM
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really? where? just curious as theres no such thing here . latex free gloves yes but not the whole school.

my childrens schools (3 diff ones) will tend to specific allergies mostly food allergies but thats it.

tho i must say that here in my area most parents are or have gone to homeschooling their kids.
When I was in school, there was a girl a few years behind me with a severe latex allergy. Each school she was in was a latex-free school--no latex gloves, balloons, band-aids, nothing latex. My niece's school has a student with this allergy now and is a latex-free zone. MANY elementary schools have nut-free classrooms, and I have heard of nut-free schools entirely (same with summer camps, daycare centers, etc). I have heard of one scent-free classroom in an area school.

Most food and environmental allergies are not that serious, this is true. But some few are very, VERY touchy and even being in the same room with the allergen can cause an attack--and if it's anaphylactic, then one attack can be fatal.
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Old 11-12-2010, 10:15 AM
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same with flights, I have a friend whos daughter had the peanut thing, sure enough, peanut free flight, someone had brought some in their bag, opened it, Kinley smelled it, said Momma there is peanuts here, started weezing, they emergency landed, emt's and ambulance met them on runway,.. and made it to the hosp in time,.... now she is 14,.. allergy had relaxed, she had tests ran at the hosp,.. steps from the er,.. found out she outgrew the peanut allergy,.. asked for a bite of peanut butter, because her whole life all she could do was see someone else eat it in a different room than her,..took a bite,.. all prepared to be happy she could finally eat it... poor girl hates it, lol. but she is no longer allergic.

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When I was in school, there was a girl a few years behind me with a severe latex allergy. Each school she was in was a latex-free school--no latex gloves, balloons, band-aids, nothing latex. My niece's school has a student with this allergy now and is a latex-free zone. MANY elementary schools have nut-free classrooms, and I have heard of nut-free schools entirely (same with summer camps, daycare centers, etc). I have heard of one scent-free classroom in an area school.

Most food and environmental allergies are not that serious, this is true. But some few are very, VERY touchy and even being in the same room with the allergen can cause an attack--and if it's anaphylactic, then one attack can be fatal.
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Old 11-12-2010, 10:44 AM
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i think nannyde is respectfully asking everyone to drop it. no sense beating a dead horse....
Yes, please. This is one no one will win, so I ask everyone to respect the differences, what works for some and what works for others and let it rest.
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Old 11-12-2010, 10:57 AM
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Hi aunt wee wee!!! .
HAHAHAH...yeah yeah I know I am easily amused and childlike but this really made me laugh!!!
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