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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Have You Ever Had A Child Lie?
Paisley 05:46 PM 12-15-2010
Have you ever had a child lie about something you said or did? This is a first for me. This child lies all the time while she is here about small things. Like "T hit me." "I had that toy first."-- Even though I was watching and T didn't hit her and she didn't have it first. I am at a loss. I realize she is only three, but lying really gets under my skin. Today she told her mother I said something----which I didn't. I explained to DCM that it never happened, but I'm still bothered by it. WWYD?
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marniewon 06:31 PM 12-15-2010
I have not yet had that happen, but you can always fall back on the saying: If you promise not to believe everything they tell you happens at daycare, I promise not to believe everything they tell you happens at home.

Good luck - I hate lying too!!! I have a 3 1/2 yo dcb who lies constantly too, but so far hasn't gone back to tell his mom any lies (we're good friends, I'm sure she'd tell me if he did). I talk a lot to him about telling the truth, and not fibbing (I try not to use the word "lie"). We play a little game, like I'll hold up a purple ball and tell him "this ball is red. Is that the truth, or a fib?". At that age I'm not sure they know the difference between truth and make believe (lie) so I try to work with them on it.
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safechner 06:45 PM 12-15-2010
Of course, I had that happened. Both of brothers who I used to watch for past three years (ages of 3 and 5 at that time) lied to their mother that my husband pushed them down which is not true. Their mother called to let their father know (they are divorced) about what happened. When my husband helped me to cook the dinner about 15 mins later and I heard the door ring bell so my husband answered the door. Their father asked questions to my husband and some rude to him. He was shocked and he told him, "where is that come from" and he never do that to his kids and never will. When I heard them to argued and I didn't know the boys' father stopped by so I went to find out what was going on. My husband told me what was it and I explained to him that is not true. My husband haven't been home that much and he is not around the boys. He knew that my husband is not home all of the time but I dont know why he blamed on my husband. I was planned to termination the boys in a couple weeks but they are moving in a different city a couple weeks later. I am so glad I won't deal with them anymore.

I had a dcg who lied all the time but her mother always tell me what she was tell her and she knows it is not true since we are friends, lol...
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mac60 02:42 AM 12-16-2010
Kids lie, especially ages 3 to 5, I have found in my experience with them. While usually it is little white lies that are of no harm, (he pushed me, she took my toy, he threw it, etc), it is wrong and when I find out about it there will be a consequence for it. I have lost a family due to their 5 year old lieing that someone pulled his hair, some parents are stupid enough to believe anything their little darling says, and no explanations from a provider will change that.....some parents can not accept their little child is less than perfect....to them I say "Good Riddence", I don't need their crap in my home and business.
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countrymom 06:30 AM 12-16-2010
I think someone said to ask the children if they are telling the truth. I was posted I think about 2 weeks ago, so when someone lies I always ask "are you telling the truth" its funny how stories change. But I hate liers.
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melskids 09:06 AM 12-16-2010
years ago i had a 4yr boy tell his dad my husband chased him around the yard with a running chainsaw.

right now i have a 4 year old who lies about everything. she'll hit her brother right in front of me and then tell me she didnt do it. or i will see her play with something, and then when i ask for her to pick it up, she'll tell me she never touched it.

its definetely frustrating!!!!
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e.j. 10:19 AM 12-16-2010
When he was younger, one of my day care boys would get upset if I told him to stop doing something he wanted to do. As I was telling him to stop, he would say, "You hit me!" (I hadn't hit him and never would.) I would just respond with something like, "I didn't hit you. You can't keep running in my house." I didn't give it too much thought but shortly after he started this, his mother came in to drop him off one morning and she mentioned that over the weekend, the family was riding in their car when this boy told them all that I had hit him. She laughed saying that both of her older kids, who had attended my day care when they were younger, jumped to my defense and said there was no way I would have hit him. She also mentioned that he had been claiming that she and his father, as well as his siblings were hitting him, too, so she knew what he said about me wasn't true either. Still, I felt a little uncomfortable for awhile after she told me what he had said.
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Unregistered 10:35 AM 12-16-2010
I really, really hate to hear kids lie! I had one girl in my daycare a few years back who would lie constantly and she was 9 years old! She accused one of my dcks of "threatening" her and when I asked him what happened, I got a much different story. He didn't threaten her, he just said "I bet that I can jump higher than you!". There were 3 other kids that heard the dialogue between the liar dcg and the dcb that she lied about and all 3 of the other people told me the same thing that the dcb did. Then I asked liar dcg to tell me again what happened and then she backpedaled and admitted that he didn't threaten her. She said she didn't like it when people bet her and it hurt her feelings. I was irate at that point so I made her play on her own for the rest of that day. I figured that if she had nobody to play with, then it would be mighty hard to tell lies about the other dcks.

I have also had kids do something that they know that they aren't supposed to do and then lie to me about it even though I watched them do it! I have always stressed to my kids that lying to me will always land them in more trouble than if they tell the truth.
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VanessaEO 12:22 PM 12-16-2010
I recently had a little girl tell her mom that I hit her.

I didn't. I was mad at her and I did tell her not to do something with sternness in my voice.

I'm actually thinking of terming her because she's part time and that presents a lot of problems.

The lie that she told her mom about sent me over the edge.
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Paisley 12:34 PM 12-16-2010
I feel better knowing that I'm not the only one It is soooo frustrating. I can handle little white lies and use them as a learning experience, but what she told her mother was a WHOPPER. After all the issues I have had with this family in a short amount of time I think this will be the straw that broke the camels back. Stick a fork in me---I'm done.
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Unregistered 07:13 PM 06-29-2015
I had a dcb, age 6 lie and tell his mom I grabbed him by the neck. I did not but he grabbed another boy, as another boy grabbed him and they were both told to go to time out. He lies about having a toy if someone else has something he wants to play with. "So and so took a toy from me." when clearly he never had it but just doesn't want to wait. He also will say someone pushed, scratched, kicked or hit him and will instigate play fighting with smaller children. I don't report all small time outs to parents but hitting, kicking physical I do. Today when mom arrived I had the son tell her that he had been caught 6 times trying to kick people while they were sitting. He was angry with me and didn't want to tell her and I still proceeded to tell him to let his mom know what happened. A half hour later mom calls and says son has created a story of his day the clearly isn't what happened here. Mom seemed to say she knows her son play fights but said he was probably tired and she felt guilty for getting him up so early. That made 0 sense to the issue of him lying about something so serious and harming other children while going home and scapegoating myself to keep from getting in trouble because mom feels guilty for going to work. UGH!
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Unregistered 07:16 PM 06-29-2015
I had a dcb, age 6 lie and tell his mom I grabbed him by the neck. I did not but he grabbed another boy, as another boy grabbed him and they were both told to go to time out. He lies about having a toy if someone else has something he wants to play with. "So and so took a toy from me." when clearly he never had it but just doesn't want to wait. He also will say someone pushed, scratched, kicked or hit him and will instigate play fighting with smaller children. I don't report all small time outs to parents but hitting, kicking physical I do. Today when mom arrived I had the son tell her that he had been caught 6 times trying to kick people while they were sitting. He was angry with me and didn't want to tell her and I still proceeded to tell him to let his mom know what happened. A half hour later mom calls and says son has created a story of his day the clearly isn't what happened here. Mom seemed to say she knows her son play fights but said he was probably tired and she felt guilty for getting him up so early. That made 0 sense to the issue of him lying about something so serious and harming other children while going home and scapegoating myself to keep from getting in trouble because mom feels guilty for going to work. UGH!
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lblanke 07:46 PM 06-29-2015
My 3 year old came home from preschool every day for months saying a particular boy bit her "today." She gets confused about days, times etc. and has no real concept of calendar time. I suspect he did bite her one day and she remembered it every day (she also bit him one day, too), but I know he did not bite her every single day.
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Unregistered 12:37 PM 07-04-2015
I HATE liars, I know kids will be kids and tell lies but that still doesn't give them an excuse to lie. We have a boy who tries to get the others into trouble by lying and a girl that will do the exact same thing. It drives me crazy having to sit there and listen to that everyday. Thank goodness summer is almost over and these two will be going to school.
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Play Care 03:50 AM 07-06-2015
I know this is an old thread, but I think still pretty relevant.

I had a SA dcg telling the other kids in my care that I was mean to her and didn't treat her nicely. Eventually I found out about it (SA kids are sneaky enough to know not to get caught )

Since then I have a blurb in my contract and occasionally in my newsletter about kids being "untruthful."

The sum of it is that it's common at certain ages but that much like other undesirable behaviors, we don't encourage it. I also remind parents that frequent lying, especially lies that claim violence against the child either by another child, myself or family members, could result in termination of services due to the tremendous liability of such tales.
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