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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>? Can't focus, Can't listen, Can't Can't Cant...UGH
daycare 01:18 PM 04-05-2012
So I have a DCK who is rather large for their size. He just turned 3.

The DCK cannot focus on anything. Today we went for a walk and I asked DCK 3 times, lets face forward when we walk and eyes on me. I try to shorten each task or directions I give, but nothing works. While on our walk, he tripped the line up 4 times, fell on kids hurting them, he walked into a tree 2 times because he was staring off into outer space and also got hurt on his face. ALL of this was while we were on a walkalong. BUT does this also when we are just walking without it

DCK walks into walls, doors, constantly falls over own two feet.

Cannot listen at all. Today I said lets all sit, he looked off into outter space. No joke, I said 7 times. *** please sit, then on your bottom please, criss cross apple sauce, ugh I tried it all. Eventually I had to go over and help him sit down. He is not hyper or wild, but can be at times.

DCK has been with me for 4 months. Came from a DC with no structure or rules. It sounded like a wild farm for kids.

I am at such a loss. DCK cannot even complete the most simple task. I have two that are younger 19 months and 22 months and they get it and do everything that I ask of them. I think they are successful, because I only have to train them, not untrain them and retrain them like I do him.

Is this normal? What can I do to help this child. I get frustrated sometimes, because I cannot get this child to even sit and talk to me and look at me when I talk. I ask him to put his blinders on. His hands on the side of his face so that he can look directly at me, but most of the time I have to do it for him and then still will not look at me when I talk to him. One other thing is that when DCK does something to someone else, they show no remorse or emotions towards the other child...

BTW verbal skills are outstanding, just everything else is a CANT do right now.......

HELP....any suggestions?
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daycare 01:58 PM 04-05-2012
is everyone just as stumpped as me, or did I not do a good job explaining....
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Country Kids 02:09 PM 04-05-2012
I think he needs to have eyes checked and then maybe be evaluated.

Maybe he can't see where he's going? Also, is he being overstimulated is why he can't focus?
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daycare 02:12 PM 04-05-2012
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
I think he needs to have eyes checked and then maybe be evaluated.

Maybe he can't see where he's going? Also, is he being overstimulated is why he can't focus?
I have thought about the over stimulation, but didn't know how to test to see if that is it??? How can I test that?
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Country Kids 02:14 PM 04-05-2012
Originally Posted by daycare:
I have thought about the over stimulation, but didn't know how to test to see if that is it??? How can I test that?
I'm not sure because I have one here that I think is overstimulated but still can't figure out how to test it?

If anyone has any ideas, I would be more then welcome to see ideas!
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daycare 02:15 PM 04-05-2012
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
I'm not sure because I have one here that I think is overstimulated but still can't figure out how to test it?

If anyone has any ideas, I would be more then welcome to see ideas!
you are so sweet....thanks for responding...I am trying to google it right now, but coming up empty handed....
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Country Kids 02:17 PM 04-05-2012
If you figure anything out or see anything out there let me know please!
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daycare 02:18 PM 04-05-2012
http://www.abilitypath.org/areas-of-...imulation.html


I found this, but it does not apply to this child.
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Christian Mother 02:24 PM 04-05-2012
Girl...I am with you...do we have the same child?

I have had my little guy since he was 3 months. His mother is a teacher and I absolutely love this family but there are days I am wondering what the heck is up with this little guy.

A little family back ground: Mom is a speech pathologist and little guy just turn 3 yrs old. He has the best vocab out of my whole group. And super smart...he's a big boy for sure as mom and dad are in over 6ft them selves. Not fat by any means but tall and stocky. Daycare boy trips over him self and some times just runs into walls or just plain is not paying attention and smacks his head. Sometimes I just don't get it. He is rough and sometimes just doesn't understand his size and being gentle...we work on being gentle and he is working on this but I catch him a lot grabbing at kids inappropriately or rough play. Not often but enough for me to address it with him and his parents. Mom says dad plays rough and this is coming from that sort of play. Today I felt like he was hyped up on something and it isn't a every day thing...I don't understand it. Although, I am thinking that his diet may play apart in how he behaves... I think he eats pretty good here when I feed him breakfast like pan cakes or waffles...we have yogart, with neutral grain bars and cereal. He eats quiet a bit more then most but the others do keep up with him. I think maybe sleep could be a issue also...He gets up at 5:30am is here at 6:15am and mom wants him to have a 2 hr nap from 12-2pm so he'll be asleep by 7-8pm. He's here til 4:15pm. He has a long day here but I notice this kind of behavior if he's not gotten a good amount of sleep and good food in his system. What do you think? Have you noticed a pattern. We seem to have similar kids..bless them!!
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daycare 02:31 PM 04-05-2012
Originally Posted by Christian Mother:
Girl...I am with you...do we have the same child?

I have had my little guy since he was 3 months. His mother is a teacher and I absolutely love this family but there are days I am wondering what the heck is up with this little guy.

A little family back ground: Mom is a speech pathologist and little guy just turn 3 yrs old. He has the best vocab out of my whole group. And super smart...he's a big boy for sure as mom and dad are in over 6ft them selves. Not fat by any means but tall and stocky. Daycare boy trips over him self and some times just runs into walls or just plain is not paying attention and smacks his head. Sometimes I just don't get it. He is rough and sometimes just doesn't understand his size and being gentle...we work on being gentle and he is working on this but I catch him a lot grabbing at kids inappropriately or rough play. Not often but enough for me to address it with him and his parents. Mom says dad plays rough and this is coming from that sort of play. Today I felt like he was hyped up on something and it isn't a every day thing...I don't understand it. Although, I am thinking that his diet may play apart in how he behaves... I think he eats pretty good here when I feed him breakfast like pan cakes or waffles...we have yogart, with neutral grain bars and cereal. He eats quiet a bit more then most but the others do keep up with him. I think maybe sleep could be a issue also...He gets up at 5:30am is here at 6:15am and mom wants him to have a 2 hr nap from 12-2pm so he'll be asleep by 7-8pm. He's here til 4:15pm. He has a long day here but I notice this kind of behavior if he's not gotten a good amount of sleep and good food in his system. What do you think? Have you noticed a pattern. We seem to have similar kids..bless them!!
hmmmm does sound like the same kid...The DCK family is great.

Child is also here the longest. 7:30-6:00pm everyday. I have wondered if sleep could be playing a roll in it, but it's everyday. Some day's DCK does not nap here either. Just won't go to sleep.

The DCK is really far behind the rest of my group with life skills too and I have a hard time teaching him when I can't get his attention. Parents have told me that he does the same at home.

I have no clue what time the child goes to bed at night, but maybe I can start with there and see how things go.

Thanks so much for responding. I really want to do well with this child, but I find myself getting upset or feeling frustrated that I can't get them to do as asked, or yet find ways that I can help them....
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Mary Poppins 04:29 PM 04-05-2012
Originally Posted by daycare:
is everyone just as stumpped as me, or did I not do a good job explaining....
Honestly, he sounds like he may have Asperger's which is a form of Austism. They can be highly functional in many ways (speech, for one) but not in others:

What are the symptoms?

Asperger’s syndrome is usually noticed at age 3 or later. Symptoms vary, so no two children are the same. Children with Asperger’s:

Have a very hard time relating to others. It doesn't mean that they avoid social contact. But they lack instincts and skills to help them express their thoughts and feelings and notice others’ feelings.
Like fixed routines. Change is hard for them.
May not recognize verbal and nonverbal cues or understand social norms. For example, they may stare at others, not make eye contact, or not know what personal space means.
May have speech that’s flat and hard to understand because it lacks tone, pitch, and accent. Or they may have a formal style of speaking that’s advanced for their age.
May lack coordination; have unusual facial expressions, body postures, and gestures; or be somewhat clumsy.
May have poor handwriting or have trouble with other motor skills, such as riding a bike.

So many things popped out at me reading about your little guy as a mom of a ds who has Asperger's. Please mention this to the parents as they may need him evaluated.

Of course, I may be way off, but it really sounds like my own ds at that age....
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Christian Mother 05:04 PM 04-05-2012
Originally Posted by daycare:
hmmmm does sound like the same kid...The DCK family is great.

Child is also here the longest. 7:30-6:00pm everyday. I have wondered if sleep could be playing a roll in it, but it's everyday. Some day's DCK does not nap here either. Just won't go to sleep.

The DCK is really far behind the rest of my group with life skills too and I have a hard time teaching him when I can't get his attention. Parents have told me that he does the same at home.

I have no clue what time the child goes to bed at night, but maybe I can start with there and see how things go.

Thanks so much for responding. I really want to do well with this child, but I find myself getting upset or feeling frustrated that I can't get them to do as asked, or yet find ways that I can help them....
I hear ya, sometimes I get frustrated too bc I don't know if he understands what I see. I will ask him to calm down, maybe sit down for a bit and take a rest or if he is just having a hard time and he's being rough I'll have him sit down right next to me or stand right next to me and I'll shadow him or him shadow me...he has to follow me all over the place. I don't think my little guy has Asperger's as he can talk with emotion and he general does understand what I ask of him. But he bounces off the walls and gets out of control when he's not gotten enough sleep or if he's eaten to much sugar. I can tell bc I we generally don't have sugary things here. After lunch if they've eaten everything they get one oreo cookie and also I do give a gummy bear or jelly bean for pooping in the toilet although this guy can do it with out the aid of a treat now. Also, we have a sticker system or a treat system at pick up if he hasn't had 1 time out he gets to pick one treat out of the glass jar that is put up. It's a nice incentive for striving to be good all day without a time out. It's working great!
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