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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>2 Kids That Literally Cry ALL DAY!
trix23 01:23 PM 05-01-2017
They (boy and girl, 14 months and 17 months) are both newish (2 weeks) and will cry for everything. If I leave the room, if I turn away for a second, if I need to put the baby down for a nap, if I need to do a diaper change, if I am trying to cook lunch or prep snack....

I need ideas! Obviously I can't hold them all day or give 1-on-1 attention if there are things to be done.
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Blackcat31 06:48 AM 05-02-2017
Originally Posted by trix23:
They (boy and girl, 14 months and 17 months) are both newish (2 weeks) and will cry for everything. If I leave the room, if I turn away for a second, if I need to put the baby down for a nap, if I need to do a diaper change, if I am trying to cook lunch or prep snack....

I need ideas! Obviously I can't hold them all day or give 1-on-1 attention if there are things to be done.
I am assuming they are crying because they are fairly "new" to daycare or being at your house....

If that is the case it will just take time. They have to build that attachment to you and learn to trust your actions and your ability to meet their needs.

What I do when integrating a new one that age is talk to them. Through everything you do.

Before you do it, while you are doing it and afterwards.

BEFORE~"Susie, I am going to get up and go into the kitchen for a minute. I will be back in a minute. Here is a book for you to look at while I am gone"

DURING~"I know you can't see me Susie but I am right here. I will be back in the livingroom in a minute. You are fine. I will be right back"

AFTER~"See Susie, I told you I was coming right back. I know it's scary when you can't see me but I could still hear you and I came right back like I said I would."

Rinse and repeat.

They simply need to learn to trust your actions and become secure in not only predicting them but enduring and understanding them. They'll figure it out after a while but in the mean time just continue to reassure and soothe them while you are away from them.

You could even leave their sight on purpose periodically through out the day just to "practice" this..... Eventually they will learn to be soothed and comforted by your voice alone and eventually they'll learn to be comfy when you are out of sight because they'll know you are still present.

Patience and a whole lot of talking makes a lot of difference.
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MarinaVanessa 10:44 AM 05-02-2017
I had a 1 year old that was the same. He's the newest of my group. He had been home with mom and grandma up until he was one and mom and dad placed him in a center where he was for 2 and a half day before the center terminated him because he'd cry from drop-off to pick-up. Then they came to me and it was pretty much the same. It took him a full 4 weeks to see any real improvements and then at that point he would just cry at drop off and at pick up but not in between.

He's great now but it was tiring at first but just like BC said ... I had to talk to him a lot. I would explain everything that was happening out loud to him in a sing-song way with a BIG smile and would give him extra hugs and cuddle time.

I'd also invite mom/dad/grandma (one adult at a time) to stay a while and play with us. We'd chat it up and do activities with the kids and it helped DCB feel more secure to have a family member here and be chummy with me.

I'd plan for 15 minutes of just one-on-one attention with him when he got dropped off (he was my first drop off of the day) where we would just cuddle and I'd talk or read to him. Snacks worked for me too. I'd cut up some fruit or have some finger snacks ready and any time that I'd need to serve meals or go to the bathroom etc I'd sit him down and give him a snack to keep him occupied. It helped a ton but I had to try different things until I found things that worked for him, every child is different.

You have two though ... that's hard. It's difficult to spend that extra time on one crying child if the other one is crying too. It's one reason that I don't add more than one child/family at a time into the group. Adding one at a time allows me to be able to help the new child get acclimated to the group who already feels comfortable and knows our routine. If they are siblings it gets super hard.

I'd try working more with whoever you have without the other "crier" around and whenever they are both there try to evenly spread out your attention. Nothing too involved ... a long hug, a quick rub on their backs, a smile and reassurance that everything is ok etc. Good luck!
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trix23 03:31 PM 05-02-2017
I normally don't start 2 children so close together for start dates, but I had 2 sisters that withdrew a month or so ago due to job stuff and my income went dry. We have daddy's income, but have had a large amount of bills and etc soI wanted to get clients ASAP. It's hard, but I need to provide for my family.

The girl only cries when the other one cries. The boy's mom told me that he was crazy with colic and that she basically held him the first 6 moths of his life (learned of this after they had been here 3 weeks). He's improved a lot over his time here, but at home they do outings every day and he has undivided attention.

I asked the mom if she can try to focus on more independent play and on a slower pace at home, if possible. The crying wears on me. -.-
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Thationown37 03:37 PM 05-02-2017
I went through something similar when my kids were approxiamtely your age... I just remember that it is going to change.... those advices above are really good and you might try them, but I just can remember that I was on sleeping pills and night and on coffee all day...
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Laurie 03:54 PM 05-02-2017
I deal with it as BC does. Lots of talking to them directly and reassuring them when they can't see you. It will work, but you need time and patience.
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flying_babyb 01:18 AM 05-03-2017
I do the bc method too. I had a 1 year old who did the crying thing for two long weeks. Now I can take his nuk as soon as moms out of site, he eats great now and now hes happy most of the time. Bedtimes a issue but were working on it
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trix23 07:49 AM 05-03-2017
I already do a good amount of that but didn't do the after part of me following through on my word (figured me physically being back was enough ... ). Lol
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