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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>DCP Sticks Foot In Her Big Giant Mouth
KTsKids 03:38 PM 01-20-2017
So about an hour ago I received a text from DCM asking if she could bring DCB for an unscheduled overnight tonight (I'm open 24/7) because she wanted to go into work super early tomorrow. Before I could finish typing my response my phone rings and it's her. I pick up the phone, say hello, and before I can get in another word she cuts me off and starts talking.

She says "Hey DH, we just left the pediatrician and I was right, it's strep! We got an antibiotic but I don't want to expose you or your parents, and I definitely can't afford to get sick and miss work so I'm going to go straight from the pharmacy to the sitter's and drop him off for the night. I can't tell her he's sick so he'll end up missing his dose in the morning, you think I should double dose him before dropping him off?" She pauses for her husband to answer... I take a deep breath in an attempt to calm myself and simply say "I think you dialed the wrong number, and I'll have to think about when I can allow DCB to come back" and then hung up...

I'm so mad I've been shaking... I mean... REALLY??? I don't even know what to think! I really want to call her back and terminate, and use some really foul language in the process. I know I need to calm down before I do anything though. What would you guys do? My mind is just kind of blown right now.
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Leigh 03:41 PM 01-20-2017
Originally Posted by KTsKids:
So about an hour ago I received a text from DCM asking if she could bring DCB for an unscheduled overnight tonight (I'm open 24/7) because she wanted to go into work super early tomorrow. Before I could finish typing my response my phone rings and it's her. I pick up the phone, say hello, and before I can get in another word she cuts me off and starts talking.

She says "Hey DH, we just left the pediatrician and I was right, it's strep! We got an antibiotic but I don't want to expose you or your parents, and I definitely can't afford to get sick and miss work so I'm going to go straight from the pharmacy to the sitter's and drop him off for the night. I can't tell her he's sick so he'll end up missing his dose in the morning, you think I should double dose him before dropping him off?" She pauses for her husband to answer... I take a deep breath in an attempt to calm myself and simply say "I think you dialed the wrong number, and I'll have to think about when I can allow DCB to come back" and then hung up...

I'm so mad I've been shaking... I mean... REALLY??? I don't even know what to think! I really want to call her back and terminate, and use some really foul language in the process. I know I need to calm down before I do anything though. What would you guys do? My mind is just kind of blown right now.
I would absolutely terminate. It's OK for her to pretty much give YOU strep so SHE can avoid it? I would terminate if she were my only client and was paying me $10,000 a month. I'd do it now, and I would NOT be nice about it.
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MyAngels 03:58 PM 01-20-2017
I would terminate, but I would do it in a professional manner. (I know that'll be hard though!). It's crazy what some people will do, isn't it?!
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debbiedoeszip 04:01 PM 01-20-2017
I'd terminate as well, though I would cool down first.
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Ariana 04:30 PM 01-20-2017
"Dear DCM,
After discovering, accidentally, your intention to expose me and my family to your childs infectious illness I have decided to terminate care effective immediately.
Sincerely,
KT"

She does not deserve anything more than this sentence.
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Baby Beluga 05:12 PM 01-20-2017
Originally Posted by Ariana:
"Dear DCM,
After discovering, accidentally, your intention to expose me and my family to your childs infectious illness I have decided to terminate care effective immediately.
Sincerely,
KT"

She does not deserve anything more than this sentence.
This. Absolutely terminate. But do it in a short, sweet and professional manner.
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finsup 05:18 PM 01-20-2017
Originally Posted by Ariana:
"Dear DCM,
After discovering, accidentally, your intention to expose me and my family to your childs infectious illness I have decided to terminate care effective immediately.
Sincerely,
KT"

She does not deserve anything more than this sentence.
Yup Done. 100% done. So mad for you I'm glad you knew though and could avoid strep. Guess that's the bright side?
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Pestle 05:21 PM 01-20-2017
The angel who took the trouble to tap your contact on your DCP's phone really wants you to terminate.
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e.j. 06:36 PM 01-20-2017
I'm sitting here looking like this: ! I rarely say "term" but....yeah...this time, that call is a no-brainer. How would you ever be able to trust her on anything again?
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Mike 07:45 PM 01-20-2017
Originally Posted by Pestle:
The angel who took the trouble to tap your contact on your DCP's phone really wants you to terminate.

probably true

Definitely term, professionally, more or less.
Even if I needed the money, I would end this one.
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KTsKids 08:08 PM 01-20-2017
Yeah I am, of course, going to terminate. I just wanted to wait until I had a chance to cool off because I was afraid I was going to lose my mind and be extremely unprofessional. Honestly though, I'm not entirely shocked. There's been 2 incidents in the past where I suspected her of dope and drop, but I couldn't be 100% sure and other than that she's always been my easiest most drama free parent.

The worst part is, she is fully aware that my mother who is going through chemo stops by my place at least twice a week to bring groceries or visit. About a month ago I sent a letter home to all my families reminding them of my illness policy and letting them know that I had an immune compromised family member who would be in the home from time to time. My mother tries to come when I'm kid free and she wouldn't have been here, but dcm didn't know that!!

I suppose it's a blessing in disguise, this is not a family I want anywhere near my home! I know I shouldn't let it, but it really did hurt my feelings more than anything.
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Unregistered 08:27 PM 01-20-2017
Let us know how it goes! I would be absolutely furious!
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ColorfulSunburst 09:14 PM 01-20-2017
and one more thing: she knows her kid is sick and she is going to skip his morning dose of medicine ... B*tch!
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Josiegirl 02:04 AM 01-21-2017
OMG So wrong on every level!! And I am ecstatic you found out before the fact.
Yeppers, I agree with the angel looking over you.
Just cannot believe they tried to pull this over on you, how incredibly disrespectful and downright........ugh I have no words to fit....oh wait despicable works.
Wonder what her reaction was when she realized her giant blunder.
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childcaremom 02:07 AM 01-21-2017
Term. Done. Finished.
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KTsKids 06:56 AM 01-21-2017
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
Wonder what her reaction was when she realized her giant blunder.
After I told her she had dialed the wrong number there was this awkward pause, she says "Oh... uh... Katie? Oh... Sorry" then hangs up. I haven't heard a word from her since, she's probably mortified.

I'm going to have to address the issue today. Sunday is a regularly scheduled day for DCB so I need to go ahead and terminate. This is the second time in nearly 7 years of childcare that I've had to term anyone. Would it be totally unprofessional to do it via text message? I'm not sure how often she check's her e-mail and I'm afraid of what I will end up saying if I call her. I didn't term last night because I wanted to to cool off first, but the longer I think about it the more angry I get! If I were her I'd be too embarrassed/ashamed to bring him back anyway...
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racemom 07:56 AM 01-21-2017
Originally Posted by KTsKids:
After I told her she had dialed the wrong number there was this awkward pause, she says "Oh... uh... Katie? Oh... Sorry" then hangs up. I haven't heard a word from her since, she's probably mortified.

I'm going to have to address the issue today. Sunday is a regularly scheduled day for DCB so I need to go ahead and terminate. This is the second time in nearly 7 years of childcare that I've had to term anyone. Would it be totally unprofessional to do it via text message? I'm not sure how often she check's her e-mail and I'm afraid of what I will end up saying if I call her. I didn't term last night because I wanted to to cool off first, but the longer I think about it the more angry I get! If I were her I'd be too embarrassed/ashamed to bring him back anyway...
I think it would be fine to term by text. She would probably prefer that also, if she is as embarrassed as she should be, she probably doesn't want to talk to you! That way you also have a written record incase things go bad.
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284878 08:08 AM 01-21-2017
Poor dcb, this is a case of medical neglect. She was willing to risk her child's life by not properly medicating, either by overdosing or under. Then withholding that info from you. Not to mention her not taking care of her child when he needs her. Part of me says call CPS, but it would be your word against hers.

I would term and let her know how wrong it was for her to even considering doing that to her child. Reminding her that you are manadorty to report even if you don't intend to.
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Snowmom 09:15 AM 01-21-2017
Originally Posted by KTsKids:
After I told her she had dialed the wrong number there was this awkward pause, she says "Oh... uh... Katie? Oh... Sorry" then hangs up. I haven't heard a word from her since, she's probably mortified.

I'm going to have to address the issue today. Sunday is a regularly scheduled day for DCB so I need to go ahead and terminate. This is the second time in nearly 7 years of childcare that I've had to term anyone. Would it be totally unprofessional to do it via text message? I'm not sure how often she check's her e-mail and I'm afraid of what I will end up saying if I call her. I didn't term last night because I wanted to to cool off first, but the longer I think about it the more angry I get! If I were her I'd be too embarrassed/ashamed to bring him back anyway...
No, she knows it's coming.
I'm all for being professional too, but this kind of behavior is unforgivable in my opinion. I'd simply text her "due to recent events, our contract is terminated, immediately". If you have anything to return to her, tell her to pick it up on your front doorstep. I wouldn't have any face to face with her because I'd be afraid of what I'd say.
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Josiegirl 09:41 AM 01-21-2017
I would have NO worries about being professional or not at this point. Text if it's easier for you and as a PP said, she knows it's coming anyways. Shame on her. I'd have a hard time not telling her how many ways she's being thoughtless to you, your mom with chemo and her own son. I'd also put the bug in all your provider friends' ears of what she tried to pull on you. Word travels. Usually I don't give a hoot but what she did was low. Very low.
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KTsKids 09:43 AM 01-21-2017
Originally Posted by Snowmom:
No, she knows it's coming.
I'm all for being professional too, but this kind of behavior is unforgivable in my opinion. I'd simply text her "due to recent events, our contract is terminated, immediately". If you have anything to return to her, tell her to pick it up on your front doorstep. I wouldn't have any face to face with her because I'd be afraid of what I'd say.
I didn't even think about having to return his belongings! DCB has a bunch of stuff over here. He does a lot of overnights, she will drop him off on Friday morning and not pick back up til Monday night after work. Every child has a cubby but he actually has his own drawer in my dresser as well. I'm in an apartment so I can't really set it out front, but I'm thinking of shipping it to her to avoid the confrontation. Would that be weird? I'm thinking maybe ship it where she has to sign for it so I have proof that she received it.
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Josiegirl 09:50 AM 01-21-2017
Not weird at all and probably it'd be the best idea.
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racemom 09:51 AM 01-21-2017
Originally Posted by KTsKids:
I didn't even think about having to return his belongings! DCB has a bunch of stuff over here. He does a lot of overnights, she will drop him off on Friday morning and not pick back up til Monday night after work. Every child has a cubby but he actually has his own drawer in my dresser as well. I'm in an apartment so I can't really set it out front, but I'm thinking of shipping it to her to avoid the confrontation. Would that be weird? I'm thinking maybe ship it where she has to sign for it so I have proof that she received it.
I think this is the best way to handle it, that way you have a signed confirmation,that she received it.
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Ariana 10:44 AM 01-21-2017
Yes just do what you need to do to get her out of your life. I also wouldn't worry too much about being professional. Send her the crap in the mail too!

I am absolutely gobsmacked that she chose to do that ESPECIALLY after you sent a letter letting them know your about your mothers position. She truly is an evil person and she brought all of this on herself.
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Snowmom 04:27 PM 01-21-2017
Originally Posted by KTsKids:
I didn't even think about having to return his belongings! DCB has a bunch of stuff over here. He does a lot of overnights, she will drop him off on Friday morning and not pick back up til Monday night after work. Every child has a cubby but he actually has his own drawer in my dresser as well. I'm in an apartment so I can't really set it out front, but I'm thinking of shipping it to her to avoid the confrontation. Would that be weird? I'm thinking maybe ship it where she has to sign for it so I have proof that she received it.
I think that's a good solution.

You've been on my mind all day. I'm so mad for you!
I am just dumbfounded that a parent would intentionally OVERDOSE their own child, then leave them with a caregiver giving them no knowledge of even being ON medication.
How that is ok in anyone's mind... jeez.
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Pestle 05:48 PM 01-21-2017
Yeah, I termed the family with the hash pipe via text but asked them in the text if they'd like a link to the child care referral websites for the two states we border. When they said yes, I sent an email that reiterated the reason for the termination and included the links.
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KTsKids 07:19 PM 01-21-2017
So I borrowed your suggestion Ariana, and a few hours ago texted DCM "After discovering, accidentally, your intention to expose me and the other children to an infectious illness I have decided to terminate care effective immediately. DCB's belongings will be shipped to you via UPS this week at my expense and your past due charges for overtime in the amount of $32 have been written off. Please consider this notice as official termination of our contract."

I'm assuming the message was received, I haven't received a response. Thank you everyone for your responses, I likely would have terminated regardless but it's nice to know that you all would have made the same decision. I've never had much of a back bone!
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Ariana 01:51 PM 01-22-2017


It is never a good feeling to know that people are like this so I know how you must be feeling right now. You know you did the right thing but it still stings
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KTsKids 03:50 PM 01-22-2017
So I didn't think this DCM could embarrass herself anymore than she already had... Til she showed up at my door this morning!! I, without really thinking, assumed it was my other Sunday family dropping off and answered the door. She's standing there with DCB and diaper bag in hand and immediately with a smile on her face tries to hand him to me!! I'm just standing there, confused, and finally say "oh I'm sorry, did you come to get DCB's things? I actually dropped them off at UPS last night. The box should arrive early next week." She acted totally confused, claimed she never received my text or the e-mail I sent(which I don't believe), and was acting as though nothing ever happened!! I was forced to explain to her that services had been terminated and DCB would be unable to receive care today. It turned into a huge seen with her crying and apologizing, begging me to change my mind because she would lose her job. She starts saying that I'm the only childcare in the area that's open 24/7 and she has no family to help, even offered to pay me more if I'd keep him!! However, through the whole thing, she kept saying that she didn't think what she did was that big of a deal...

Eventually I had to ask her to leave. I had another family due to arrive soon and I didn't want them to walk in on that. It was super sad though, I started crying as soon as she left. I was really proud of myself for holding my ground, but sad.
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nothingwithoutjoy 05:01 PM 01-22-2017
Originally Posted by KTsKids:
My mother tries to come when I'm kid free and she wouldn't have been here, but dcm didn't know that!!
And...if you'd gotten strep, you wouldn't have been able to visit your mother at a time when you especially need to! Makes her decision even more selfish and inconsiderate.

SO glad you caught her.
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lovemydaycare0912 05:10 PM 01-22-2017
You standing your ground makes me so happy! Shame on dcm. She's not sorry. She's sorry she called you instead of dh. Good for you for sticking up for yourself. She'll definitely realize her mistakes now if she hasn't already!
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racemom 05:49 PM 01-22-2017
She was hoping you would feel bad about turning dcb away in person, so she pretended nothing else ever happened. I am proud of you for standing up to her and not giving in to her game. Had you let him come back she would have known she could do what she wanted and you wouldn't term. She is definitely a selfish person who only cares about herself! Congratulations on putting you and your family first!
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mommyneedsadayoff 05:58 PM 01-22-2017
I'm sorry you went through that, but good fot you on turning her away!

My mom had luekemia from the time i was 14 and i had Mono, strep, and bronchitis during that time and couldnt see my own mom! How dare she feel her job security is above everyone elses health! Good riddance! You handled it perfectly!
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Ariana 06:06 PM 01-22-2017
Wow talk about pouring salt in the wound. This mom is over the top mentally unstable. I am so sorry you had to go through that but good for you for standing your ground
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CalCare 06:41 PM 01-22-2017
Not to mention- HELLO! The kid still has strep! It's only been a couple of days, right? So, he would still be on antibiotics. Which means if she really didn't get the text or email, she was planning to drop off her son without any concern of the still present illness and the antibiotics diarrhea! And I bet you, she had already double dosed him before coming to drop off! Absolutely ridiculous. Good for you for holding your ground!
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Mike 10:45 PM 01-22-2017
Originally Posted by racemom:
She was hoping you would feel bad about turning dcb away in person, so she pretended nothing else ever happened. I am proud of you for standing up to her and not giving in to her game. Had you let him come back she would have known she could do what she wanted and you wouldn't term. She is definitely a selfish person who only cares about herself! Congratulations on putting you and your family first!
I think the same. Good for you for not giving in.
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childcaremom 12:50 AM 01-23-2017
Originally Posted by CalCare:
Not to mention- HELLO! The kid still has strep! It's only been a couple of days, right? So, he would still be on antibiotics. Which means if she really didn't get the text or email, she was planning to drop off her son without any concern of the still present illness and the antibiotics diarrhea! And I bet you, she had already double dosed him before coming to drop off! Absolutely ridiculous. Good for you for holding your ground!


For you.
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happymom 08:43 AM 01-23-2017
Wow,

What a blessing that you got that call! I am so mad for you, I can not believe people.

Good luck finding a replacement quickly.
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KTsKids 11:52 AM 01-23-2017
Originally Posted by happymom:
Wow,

What a blessing that you got that call! I am so mad for you, I can not believe people.

Good luck finding a replacement quickly.
I actually lost 2 full time kids last week. I had another who's mom gave birth to twins last Friday, 2 months early, so she wont be working and pulled her daughter. Good news is I've already filled one of the spots and have 2 more people on my wait list who I'm waiting to hear back from! Thanks again everyone for all the advice and support.
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CityGarden 12:13 PM 01-23-2017
I read this thread in disbelief.... I am not one who is as quick to say term as many of here with more experience than me but this one was clear!!! Glad you made the decision you did and impressed you stuck by your guns so clearly even with the child present. Bad mom she is lucky you did not report her...
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