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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Got Another Job After 20 Years Of Daycare. But.....
Lucy 07:45 PM 10-20-2014
I'm still going back and forth in my mind about this whole issue.

Ok, for background, I've done Daycare for over 20 years, and right now I just have before/after school kids. For some reason, I'm not really interested right now in getting younger kids to fill in those hours in between. Not even sure why. What I really need to do is to get 1 or 2 more SA'ers, but advertising has not produced any calls.

I take my mom to an Alzheimer's/Dementia day program 3 days/week. (Kind of a respite place that does fun activities and occasional field trips.) The place that sponsors the program is an Alzheimer's nursing home. So one of the ladies that runs the day center told me that there was an opening for Activities Assistant in the nursing home, and she thinks I'd be really good at it (based on conversations we've had about her job and what they do at the day program).

So I applied. The interview was last Wednesday. I was scared ____-less LOL. I haven't had an interview since 1981 when I got the job I had before doing DC!! But they made it comfortable, and I did fine. I felt really good about it after leaving. They told me they'd make their decision by the following Tuesday, Oct 21st.

Well, they called today and offered ME the position!! I spent all weekend secretly hoping they wouldn't. Again, I don't really know why. Sounds like I need some in-depth psychological soul serching, huh? I kinda want out of DC, but I'm totally scared to DEATH to make the change. What is that all about?

Any words of advice, wisdom, encouragement, etc??

I could make this post even longer than it already is and go into my thought process over this, but I don't want to bore you. (Too late??? LOL)
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MyAngels 07:54 PM 10-20-2014
I totally understand where you're coming from. I've been thinking about leaving DC for a few years now, but the prospect scares me to death. I think changing careers after so many years would give even the most adventurous person pause .

That being said, it sounds like this new opportunity could be perfect for you, and if it were me I'd go for it and embrace the new chapter in my life .

Good luck and let us know what you decide
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cheerfuldom 08:20 PM 10-20-2014
It sounds like you want to do it but are just scared of the newness of it. I say, go for it! time to get out of your comfort zone. this is your chance! dont let fear make you miss it.
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Lucy 08:25 PM 10-20-2014
Oh sorry, I was thinking I said this in my OP. I turned them down. I saw the call on caller ID and purposely didn't answer it so she'd leave a message and give me time to think before responding.

I took about an hour (an excruciating hour!) to think about it, and just couldn't force myself to take that step to accepting the position. I called her and turned it down. I do have "real" reasons LOL, but a lot of it is just being scared to death.

First, it's just 32 hours/week, and the pay is a little on the low side to start. When I did the math, factoring in what I'd net after taxes, I'd be taking a little bit of a cut.

Second, the Day Center where my mom goes is for Stage 1-4 Alzheimer's patients, which means they still pretty much are like you and me, but just have troubles with short term memory. They repeat themselves a lot, ask questions over and over, sometimes don't know what day it is, don't dress correctly for the current weather, put things in the wrong places, etc., etc., but overall, you can still have a decent conversation with them. And their physical abilities are fine. But the nursing home is for acute patients, some of whom can't talk or toilet themselves, etc. And I guess, even though it's hard to admit this, that kinda scares me.

Third, it's SUNDAY through Wednesday. Although it'd be nice to have Thurs, Fri, Sat off, I'd hate to miss Sundays with my husband. (We're in our 50's and have no kids in the house now)

Fourth, there's a lot of times when the nursing home invites families to come for events like Mother's Day, etc., and I'd be required to attend on a Saturday, or possibly an evening.

Anyway, so not only was I scared to make the leap and get into something completely new, I was scared of the job itself. I guess that's how I can describe it. But I still feel like a chump for putting them through the process of interviewing me and discussing who to hire, and then turning them down in the end. I told her I didn't want to burn any bridges. She said she completely understood, and that it sounds like it's just not the right time for me. But I feel so wishy-washy, and that's not "me".

Ugh. I'd like to get out of DC, but as much as I want to do something different, the prospect scares the bejeebers outta me!!

ETA: And also, I've really been enjoying my time without kids from 9-3. I'm able to do so much for my Mom, have time for my appointments and hers, get lots of errands done during the day instead of having to run all over after 5:30, etc., etc. I selfishly don't want to lose that. But I still need to get at least one more B/A schooler!! More like 2!
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Sugar Magnolia 07:34 AM 10-21-2014
I old people! I'd do it in a second if I were you!
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Lucy 02:42 PM 10-21-2014
I'm probably going to wish I had said yes. That's why the decision was so hard! Not sure why I can't take the leap.
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Blackcat31 02:57 PM 10-21-2014
Originally Posted by Sugar Magnolia:
I old people! I'd do it in a second if I were you!
My DD is the same way.

She is currently in nursing school working towards her Bachelor's in nursing and hoping to eventually become specialized in geriatrics.

She works in an Alzheimer's home right now and LOVES it.

Like child care providers, I told her it takes a special person to do that kind of work.
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daycaremum 05:19 PM 10-21-2014
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
It sounds like you want to do it but are just scared of the newness of it. I say, go for it! time to get out of your comfort zone. this is your chance! dont let fear make you miss it.

I agree with this statement completely. I think you should go for it, if it doesn't work out there's nothing saying you can't start up daycare again...
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Lucy 05:35 PM 10-21-2014
Originally Posted by daycaremum:
I agree with this statement completely. I think you should go for it, if it doesn't work out there's nothing saying you can't start up daycare again...
I turned it down about an hour after she left a message offering it to me.

I was afraid of the low hours, low-ish pay, working on Sundays, working with levels of Alzheimer's way beyond my mom's (I'm used to my mom, but she's still pretty "with it"), afraid of telling clients - two in particular that I've worked with for 11 years, and 8 years, and afraid of losing my free time from 9 am to 3 pm - since I just have before/after schooler's right now.

I'm doing some soul searching to figure out why I'm so afraid of all the above. Why I can't take the leap even though I want to. I could use some thoughts if any of you have any.
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Treesiheart 05:06 AM 10-22-2014
Don't feel too bad about declining the job... maybe it isn't fear driving you...maybe it is your intuition. I highly recommend getting involved in a local Hospice program. I volunteered with one for 3 years and I Absolutely loved it. Volunteering would give you a change of pace, a chance to explore your interest, and you could choose your own hours.
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MyAngels 06:44 AM 10-22-2014
Originally Posted by Lucy:
I turned it down about an hour after she left a message offering it to me.

I was afraid of the low hours, low-ish pay, working on Sundays, working with levels of Alzheimer's way beyond my mom's (I'm used to my mom, but she's still pretty "with it"), afraid of telling clients - two in particular that I've worked with for 11 years, and 8 years, and afraid of losing my free time from 9 am to 3 pm - since I just have before/after schooler's right now.

I'm doing some soul searching to figure out why I'm so afraid of all the above. Why I can't take the leap even though I want to. I could use some thoughts if any of you have any.
I can see why you turned it down, actually.

My SIL was an activities director for a nursing home at one time and she really enjoyed it, but it did come with some irregular hours at times.

When I first started out 20 years ago I did only school age care and it was great. I'd do it again in a heartbeat but there's just no market for it here, so I know it would be hard to give up that schedule.

Just keep looking for a position that's more compatible with your life right now. I bet when you find that perfect job the fear will disappear.
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daycaremum 11:45 AM 10-22-2014
With all the details that you had to take into consideration it sounds like it wasn't right for you.
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Unregistered 05:33 PM 10-23-2014
I can see why you didn't take it. There were LOTS of real reasons, not just that you were afraid to make a change. Keep your eye out for other, better openings. You may find something you are really happy and content with! Good luck!
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Lucy 06:01 PM 10-23-2014
Thank you all so much!


You had great insight for me. I especially like this line:

"Just keep looking for a position that's more compatible with your life right now. I bet when you find that perfect job the fear will disappear. "

So thanks again everyone!!
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