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Angelwings36 03:19 PM 03-02-2011
So I had an interview today that was just something else! Mom calls me saying they need childcare asap...she is not sure if they want full time or part time though. Her son is 15 months old so she thought she would start him part time until he adjusts and then move him into a full time schedule. I told her right away on the phone that it takes children twice as long to adjust on a part time schedule than a full time schedule. She doesn't say much...

In the interview the parent's asked me if I would...

1. Accomodate cloth diapers...(No sorry I do not have the extra time in my day to be messing with that)

2. Buy special snacks for their child...(I asked about allergies...no allergies...just want special things just for their child...No sorry all the children are treated equally)

3. If it would be ok if dad came for the first few days with the daycare boy so he didn't cry (Uhhh...no I do not accomodate this. I told them that most children that age are going to cry when dropped off...this is normal...the best thing you can do is make drop offs as sweet and short as possible. Mom says at this point that she is not ok with son crying...alright then!)

4. Although they were well aware that I run a full daycare program (8 children total is legal here) mom insisted I should only have 4 kids max when there son was there because having 8 kids means I would be showing negligence. (Ugh! Bite tongue lol! I did mention that they could find a smaller program to accomodate their needs if that's what they wanted...but mom still insisted that they give it a try here)

So...

Parents leave informing me they will call me tomorrow to set something up...REALLY?????

So what do I do when they call? Should I just tell them the space was filled...I am definetly not willing to take them on?
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JenNJ 03:26 PM 03-02-2011
Tell them you no longer have the space available.

Quick FYI -- cloth diapers are just as easy as disposable now a days.
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daycare 03:30 PM 03-02-2011
I would just tell them that the family that was leaving your DC and allocating the vacant spot has decided to stay. You are at your max capacity because of this and unfortunately will not have an open spot after all. Apologies then thank them for their time.
I used that one when I could not think of another reason why
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SilverSabre25 03:48 PM 03-02-2011
Good grief!

Was she for real? Those are some ridiculous requests/demands. Absolutely ridiculous. Sounds like what she really wants is a nanny, not a home daycare. Who does she think she is, trying to mandate how many kids you'll have in your care while her son is there?

Some people.

IF she calls (and I kind of doubt she will), I would just tell her that you don't think you'll be able to accommodate her needs, and wish her good luck with her child care search.
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Angelwings36 03:53 PM 03-02-2011
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
Good grief!

Was she for real? Those are some ridiculous requests/demands. Absolutely ridiculous. Sounds like what she really wants is a nanny, not a home daycare. Who does she think she is, trying to mandate how many kids you'll have in your care while her son is there?

Some people.

IF she calls (and I kind of doubt she will), I would just tell her that you don't think you'll be able to accommodate her needs, and wish her good luck with her child care search.
Ya they were both for real lol. The cloth diapers were the worst of my worries...they did explain the concept of dealing with cloth diapers now which is alot different from what they used to be...but I was also concerned about flushing the maxi pad part down the toilet? lol I dunno...I have never done cloth diapers I could just be inexperienced and not willing to try something new. Thank you so much for your advice I really appreciate it!
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SilverSabre25 03:55 PM 03-02-2011
Originally Posted by Angelwings36:
Ya they were both for real lol. The cloth diapers were the worst of my worries...they did explain the concept of dealing with cloth diapers now which is alot different from what they used to be...but I was also concerned about flushing the maxi pad part down the toilet? lol I dunno...I have never done cloth diapers I could just be inexperienced and not willing to try something new. Thank you so much for your advice I really appreciate it!
Maxi pad part? That doesn't sound familiar...what kind of diapers are they, did she say?
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Angelwings36 03:56 PM 03-02-2011
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
Maxi pad part? That doesn't sound familiar...what kind of diapers are they, did she say?
No but she did say they bought top of the line...paid $20/diaper. She said when the child pooped their was a maxi pad on the cloth diaper that you just pulled off and flushed down the toilet and then baged the cloth diaper...sounds gross regardless! lol
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SilverSabre25 03:58 PM 03-02-2011
Originally Posted by Angelwings36:
No but she did say they bought top of the line...paid $20/diaper. She said when the child pooped their was a maxi pad on the cloth diaper that you just pulled off and flushed down the toilet and then baged the cloth diaper...sounds gross regardless! lol
huh. I've heard of and used flushable liners, but they're nothing like maxi-pads--more like thick toilet paper. Weird. (Now I'm really curious and going to go googling that later on, lol). Ah well, the family sounds nuttier than a peanut farm anyway.
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KEG123 04:13 PM 03-02-2011
Yes flushable liners are common, but I'd still toss it in the trash. They are biodegradable.
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Unregistered 04:22 PM 03-02-2011
Why is everyone encouraging you to lie?

Be honest, explain your concerns and show the same respect you would expect.
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Angelwings36 04:32 PM 03-02-2011
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Why is everyone encouraging you to lie?

Be honest, explain your concerns and show the same respect you would expect.
I'm sorry I'm really soft hearted person and understand that other parents have different ways of raising their child. I did tell the parent's that I'm not willing to deal with cloth diapers...will not give purchase 'special' snacks for their child...will not accomodate dad tagging along for the first few days he is in daycare and that I will always have a full daycare (varying because I take part time and casual) but the parents are still insisting that they bring their child to me. I already know there is going to be other expectations later on down the road that I cannot or will not accomodate so do not want to even attempt to enter into a business agreement with this family...just do not know how to be straight up and tell them this. I honestly think the best thing for their family is to get a nanny and if it comes down to it I may suggest this but it does not seem that the family is willing to go this route either.
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DCMomOf3 04:37 PM 03-02-2011
When they call, simply state that you feel that you will not be able to provide the care they want so will not be able to care for their child. You wish them the best in their search for the perfect provider.

You didn't say they could come tomorrow, did you?
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nannyde 04:39 PM 03-02-2011
Originally Posted by Angelwings36:
So I had an interview today that was just something else! Mom calls me saying they need childcare asap...she is not sure if they want full time or part time though. Her son is 15 months old so she thought she would start him part time until he adjusts and then move him into a full time schedule. I told her right away on the phone that it takes children twice as long to adjust on a part time schedule than a full time schedule. She doesn't say much...

In the interview the parent's asked me if I would...

1. Accomodate cloth diapers...(No sorry I do not have the extra time in my day to be messing with that)

2. Buy special snacks for their child...(I asked about allergies...no allergies...just want special things just for their child...No sorry all the children are treated equally)

3. If it would be ok if dad came for the first few days with the daycare boy so he didn't cry (Uhhh...no I do not accomodate this. I told them that most children that age are going to cry when dropped off...this is normal...the best thing you can do is make drop offs as sweet and short as possible. Mom says at this point that she is not ok with son crying...alright then!)

4. Although they were well aware that I run a full daycare program (8 children total is legal here) mom insisted I should only have 4 kids max when there son was there because having 8 kids means I would be showing negligence. (Ugh! Bite tongue lol! I did mention that they could find a smaller program to accomodate their needs if that's what they wanted...but mom still insisted that they give it a try here)

So...

Parents leave informing me they will call me tomorrow to set something up...REALLY?????

So what do I do when they call? Should I just tell them the space was filled...I am definetly not willing to take them on?


Gotta love it.

Would you consider just telling her the truth? I know it won't make you any money so I wouldn't spend too much time on it but I don't think it hurts to say "I don't provide that service".

Cloth diapers: I don't provide that service.
Special snacks: I don't provide that service.
Parents in home during first few days: I don't provide that service.
Four child child care: I don't provide that service.
No cry: I don't provide that service.

Tell her the truth:

You use paper diapers only. You feed everyone the same snack and YOU pick the snack. You do all the transitioning of the child into care. Your goal is to have eight kids every day. You believe children should be allowed to express their feelings so you don't have a problem with them crying to express themselves.

That's really the whole of it and it doesn't hurt to tell her the truth. It's not personal. It doesn't mean that using cloth diapers, having special for snacks, parents caring for their child in your home during the transition, "no cry" isn't valuable to the parents etc.

It's OKAY for them to want it... you just don't offer it.

Tell her the truth. As boldly as she sat and said these things to you is as boldly as you can tell her what you do and don't provide.

I think providers think they are stepping on parents toes when they tell them what they do and don't provide. Believe me... Walmart doesn't have a problem telling customers they don't have Rubbermaid in stock. They decide what they offer and they don't apologize for what they choose not to do.

What she wants you don't have "in stock" and that's cool.

Ten years ago you would have NEVER had a parent tell you that they don't want their child to cry. You had parents who didn't want their kid to cry but they wouldn't have been bold enough to tell YOU that. It would have been an embarrasment. Now it's the norm.

It would be funny if it weren't so sad......

The worlds a changin ladies and it's going to come and sit on your couch. If you want to stay alive in this business you need a plan to deal with it. Saying you don't have an opening is a plan and it's the cheapest plan I know but there's a part of me that thinks it might be worth the time/money to start proudly telling them the truth.
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jen 04:43 PM 03-02-2011
I'm confused! You already told them that you don't offer those services, so does that mean they want to use you and are understanding that their child will NOT get special services, or do they think that you are actually going to do all the crap for them?

Personally, I would either a) do an Nan suggested; or b) tell them that you don't feel that they are a good fit for your program.

YIKES!
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Unregistered 04:44 PM 03-02-2011
to let them spend the night ruling out other providers (or calling and canceling). Give them a call tonight and say just what you said - I respect the differences in style, but I am not able to accommodate many of your requests and I am afraid other issues may come up later.

Also - work on being really clear - up front- about your policies, model, philosophies and what you are willing to accommodate. The fact that you got to an interview means that you didn't give them enough information on the phone and wasted everyone's time.

Also - consider this - they are brand new and may need a chance to understand what policies are like and they do deserve a chance to consider and accept your terms if they want to - or someone's - without having things 'come up". Also - they may want some social interaction, but not 1/8th of an adult. One to eight is out of most state ratios for a 15 month old.
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Live and Learn 04:46 PM 03-02-2011
....tell them you can accommodate them if
1) they want to supply the spiffy snacks for all your daycare kids and
2) they want to pay your full time rate plus four additional full timers to meet their request for 4 only in your care!
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WImom 04:49 PM 03-02-2011
I'd probably tell them they aren't a good fit.
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Live and Learn 04:52 PM 03-02-2011
Yes...Tell the truth.

Originally Posted by nannyde:


Gotta love it.

Would you consider just telling her the truth? I know it won't make you any money so I wouldn't spend too much time on it but I don't think it hurts to say "I don't provide that service".

Cloth diapers: I don't provide that service.
Special snacks: I don't provide that service.
Parents in home during first few days: I don't provide that service.
Four child child care: I don't provide that service.
No cry: I don't provide that service.

Tell her the truth:

You use paper diapers only. You feed everyone the same snack and YOU pick the snack. You do all the transitioning of the child into care. Your goal is to have eight kids every day. You believe children should be allowed to express their feelings so you don't have a problem with them crying to express themselves.

That's really the whole of it and it doesn't hurt to tell her the truth. It's not personal. It doesn't mean that using cloth diapers, having special for snacks, parents caring for their child in your home during the transition, "no cry" isn't valuable to the parents etc.

It's OKAY for them to want it... you just don't offer it.

Tell her the truth. As boldly as she sat and said these things to you is as boldly as you can tell her what you do and don't provide.

I think providers think they are stepping on parents toes when they tell them what they do and don't provide. Believe me... Walmart doesn't have a problem telling customers they don't have Rubbermaid in stock. They decide what they offer and they don't apologize for what they choose not to do.

What she wants you don't have "in stock" and that's cool.

Ten years ago you would have NEVER had a parent tell you that they don't want their child to cry. You had parents who didn't want their kid to cry but they wouldn't have been bold enough to tell YOU that. It would have been an embarrasment. Now it's the norm.

It would be funny if it weren't so sad......

The worlds a changin ladies and it's going to come and sit on your couch. If you want to stay alive in this business you need a plan to deal with it. Saying you don't have an opening is a plan and it's the cheapest plan I know but there's a part of me that thinks it might be worth the time/money to start proudly telling them the truth.

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daysofelijah 05:15 PM 03-02-2011
Maybe she was talking about gdiapers http://www.gdiapers.com/. They are a disposable/cloth hybrid. I wouldn't be able to use those either. My toilets wouldn't stand up to flushing the pad.

I do provide service for cloth diapers, but I have certain specifications as to how and what I will use/do. Totally your decision to not provide the service though.

I can't believe they didn't get the point. I guess when they call back say that you thought it over and really do not think you are a good fit for their family. I don't know where they think they are going to find a daycare where their kiddo is never going to cry, funny.
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SandeeAR 06:35 PM 03-02-2011
I would never lie about the spot availabilty. Simply tell them,

I'm sorry, but my program is geared to group care, not individual care. I cannot meet your requests for special accomodations. I think what you are looking for, would be better found in a one to one, nanny situation. Thanks for considering me. Best of luck.
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QualiTcare 08:32 PM 03-02-2011
i agree you should tell them the truth - chances are you'll never see them again anyway - AND you'll be doing them a favor. they need to know that their requests are unrealistic for most daycare environments. if you don't tell them then the next provider probably will and they will think YOU didn't have a space and that provider #2 is crazy. hearing the same thing from more than one provider will help them join reality sooner and the sooner the better.

there's nothing wrong with not wanting to deal with cloth diapers either. i know it's the eco-friendly way and i'm eco-friendly in several ways - but that's not one of them and i make no apologies for it. poop/pee, and everything that it has touched gets disposed of - period.
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nannyde 05:59 AM 03-03-2011
Maybe best to just quote an additional fee for each request:

Cloth diapers: $3.00 per day.
Special snacks: $3.00 per day.
Parents in home during first few days: $100 per day.
Four child child care: $120 per day (to pay for other 4 kid slot income)
No cry: Full time staff assistant for little Mr No Cry costing $100 per day

Total:
$30.00 per day for regular day care and an additional $326.00 per day for special.

= $356 per day.

For that... I do provide that service.
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momatheart 06:21 AM 03-03-2011
Yep not a good fit at all.

Maybe you should let them know that the requests that they want for their child is somthing that you saw as a red flag in a future business relationship with them.

Part of a good fit for both parties is not only the child fitting in but the parents fitting in as well.
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DaycareMomma 07:17 AM 03-03-2011
The one that really gets me is that they don't want you to have more than 4 in your care? Haha ya right. Because I'm sure you are in this just for the heck of it, you don't have bills to pay or anything huh.

There was a daycare provider around here that got asked to only take one infant and the parents would pay for the other infant spot so theirs was the only infant in her care...

Tell them, if they want you to only have 4 kids, they are going to pay for those other 4 spots plus their childs weekly rate...

I do like the one tally of $365 a day! Heck for that, I'd do just about anything
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Tags:interview, interview gone bad
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