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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Parents Refusing To Bring Diapers
SunshineMama 06:36 AM 05-24-2012
I'm in a bit of a predicament.

I asked dcp's 2 days ago to bring more diapers and wipes. Yesterday- nothing. Today, dcd tells me they will no longer be purchasing diapers and they will be bringing their twins in underwear as of next Tuesday, and we will be using pull ups.

I previously agreed to trying the underwear as an experiment to see if they would be responsive, but I intend on having a back up for nap time, etc to see if it doesn't work.

These children have never gone a full day without an accident. They were doh g okay with telling me they had to potty for a while, then regressed for some reason and rarely tell me. They can't even keep their diapers dry for 1.5 hora at a time. Dcd stated the children ate just being lazy and choosing to use diapers. Dcm says that she doesn't think they are able to recognize when they have to go. Both dcp's have decided they just are going cold turkey ubderwear only after Monday.

I have a phb that says they must tell me for 2 weeks without accidents before coming in underwear.

Clearly, you can tell that this is not going to turn out well for me. The parents are just pushing something that is only setting up everyone to fail.

I have 2 options: put up with the pee and poop all over my house, or get termed by this family. I suggested plastic underwear over the regular and hard had no response. The problem is that I just termed another family for breaking my rules and I need the income. I have interviews coming up to replace dcb I just termed but nothing solid yet.

What should I do? My dcp's all decided to take advantage of me all at once
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SunshineMama 06:39 AM 05-24-2012
I'm typing from my phone so I apologoze in advance for all of the mid-spellings and typos.
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Breezy 06:41 AM 05-24-2012
Give them the choice....

You don't want to buy diapers and insist your child is in undies? Ok, well I will bill you for carpet cleaning services every time there is an accident. Fees will be due within 24 hours.
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familyschoolcare 06:47 AM 05-24-2012
"Blame" the health the health department. give the parents the choice say since the children have not been able to go a resonable amount of time with out an

acident then they must eith be in a diaper or a pull up or have plastic pants over their underwear. Tell the parents that this is for the health and safety of

every child in your care. Which is true and if they push the matter do not talk ablout what the children are or are not doing at home that information does not

matter inreguards to keep the other children safe. If you have to ask them if they would like ther child to play in and around where a childern that are not

related to them have peed. I know loosing income can be hard but realy is any one that runs group care of any kind going to allow the children to pee everywhere.
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SunshineMama 06:50 AM 05-24-2012
In pretty sure they wouldn't go for that and term me.
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SunshineMama 06:54 AM 05-24-2012
Originally Posted by familyschoolcare:
"Blame" the health the health department. give the parents the choice say since the children have not been able to go a resonable amount of time with out an

acident then they must eith be in a diaper or a pull up or have plastic pants over their underwear. Tell the parents that this is for the health and safety of

every child in your care. Which is true and if they push the matter do not talk ablout what the children are or are not doing at home that information does not

matter inreguards to keep the other children safe. If you have to ask them if they would like ther child to play in and around where a childern that are not

related to them have peed. I know loosing income can be hard but realy is any one that runs group care of any kind going to allow the children to pee everywhere.
Basically these parents dont care about my house or the other kids. I am unlicensed legally. I suppose my problem is that I don't know how to deal with parents who are sure their way will work. I'm going to lose 2 incomes and that could foreclose my house if I don't get a replacement ASAP. I will mention health dept and everything else, but I just feel like this is going to end badly. I feel out of control and helpless right now.
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familyschoolcare 06:54 AM 05-24-2012
I understand what you ar saying if you need the money that mad then maybe when you find a replacement for the family you just termed then term them. If

you allow them to break these rules then they will start breaking all the rules. So if you put up with it it needs to be just untill you get replacements for the other famil you termed.
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SunshineMama 07:01 AM 05-24-2012
Originally Posted by familyschoolcare:
I understand what you ar saying if you need the money that mad then maybe when you find a replacement for the family you just termed then term them. If

you allow them to break these rules then they will start breaking all the rules. So if you put up with it it needs to be just untill you get replacements for the other famil you termed.
I think that may be my only option. I have a Craigslist ad out but other than that my advertising skills aren't great
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familyschoolcare 07:13 AM 05-24-2012
Originally Posted by SunshineMama:
I think that may be my only option. I have a Craigslist ad out but other than that my advertising skills aren't great
I have tried several things and like some others here have said craigslist is the only place I have gotten a serious response from. Sometime I pass out flyers in

the earea of the schools that I will transport to ussualy one small area at a time and I always leave atleast 2 days between passing out more and sometimes I

get people saying they got my flyer asking about prices and then when it comes time to make an appointment they need to talk to thier hubby and I do not hear

back form them. Which is why I think it is other providers calling to check me out.
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Childminder 07:20 AM 05-24-2012
I read that they will supply pull-ups? They are just glorified diapers and will continue to act like diapers at their expense, especially buying for twins. Just put the unders inside the pull-ups and put their messes in plastic bags for take home. We are not allowed by licensing to handle the underwear except to place the soiled items in plastic bags for the parents to deal with. Your state probably has similar regulations.

I can almost guarantee that a couple of days of feces and urine sitting in an enclosed plastic bag in the heat of summer will change their mind about their method of training.
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SunshineMama 07:35 AM 05-24-2012
Originally Posted by Childminder:
I read that they will supply pull-ups? They are just glorified diapers and will continue to act like diapers at their expense, especially buying for twins. Just put the unders inside the pull-ups and put their messes in plastic bags for take home. We are not allowed by licensing to handle the underwear except to place the soiled items in plastic bags for the parents to deal with. Your state probably has similar regulations.

I can almost guarantee that a couple of days of feces and urine sitting in an enclosed plastic bag in the heat of summer will change their mind about their method of training.
Hopefully you are right! They said they will bring 1 or 2 pull ups though. I hope they bring more!

Whats irritating me is that they arent really committing to taking the time to potty train them at home. The whole thing is just a major set up for me and the kids to fail.
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familyschoolcare 07:39 AM 05-24-2012
If they children run out of supplies then send them home.
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MyAngels 07:41 AM 05-24-2012
Since it sounds like you can't really lose the income right now, I'd focus more on potty training the kids at your place. I've had kids over the years who are fully potty trained during the day, but not at home. I always assume it's because the parents aren't as committed as I am to the training. It is more difficult, obviously, without both parent and provider on the same page, but it can be done.

If it were me, I'd go out and purchase some diapers to use at naptime since I hate having to clean and disinfect the cots after accidents.

Meanwhile, I'd be advertising like crazy to get some decent families so that you don't have to put up with crappy families like this one .
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MarinaVanessa 07:43 AM 05-24-2012
I feel like you really don't want to let them go against your policies, unfortunately because of your financial situation you feel like you don't have a choice. Am I correct? If this is the case then there are a few options that you can choose from.

1) You can talk to them now and require that they follow your policies as they are written and term them if they don't abide by them (which I know that you don't want to do).

2) Allow them to bring the twins in underwear and put up with it temporarily.

I say temporarily because you can continue to advertise for new clients and at least if you get 2 new FT kids you can then make as much as you make now with the twins then you can term them or even wait a little more until you get one more new client.

Have you thought about you going out to buy the plastic underwear? I mean I know that it's not your responsibility but for me I personally have an extra set of shoes, clothes and even cloth diapers (in case I run out and parents forget to bring more) in pretty much any size from 6mo to 4T because I know that parents aren't always good at bringing even these essentials and the only way that I'll know for sure that I'll have these extras is if I provide them myself. They never leave here of course, these stay here. I would buy a few pairs over the weekend and see if they bring some to you. If they do then just return the ones that you bought or keep them around just in case they forget to bring them one day. I would also do as sugested above and send any and all soiled clothing home. For a family like this I wouldn't have a problem sending a hild home in only underwear if they had soiled through all of their extra clothing.

I would also require them to bring several sets of clothing especially a lot of underwear because you know that they will have at least a few accidents. I would also require pull-ups for nap and just take the twins to the bathroom a lot throughout the day. Unfortunately they probably figure that because you don't have other kids that you now have plenty of time to give to their kids and/or what are you gonna do, terminate them? KWIM?
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SunshineMama 08:01 AM 05-24-2012
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
I feel like you really don't want to let them go against your policies, unfortunately because of your financial situation you feel like you don't have a choice. Am I correct? If this is the case then there are a few options that you can choose from.

1) You can talk to them now and require that they follow your policies as they are written and term them if they don't abide by them (which I know that you don't want to do).

2) Allow them to bring the twins in underwear and put up with it temporarily.

I say temporarily because you can continue to advertise for new clients and at least if you get 2 new FT kids you can then make as much as you make now with the twins then you can term them or even wait a little more until you get one more new client.

Have you thought about you going out to buy the plastic underwear? I mean I know that it's not your responsibility but for me I personally have an extra set of shoes, clothes and even cloth diapers (in case I run out and parents forget to bring more) in pretty much any size from 6mo to 4T because I know that parents aren't always good at bringing even these essentials and the only way that I'll know for sure that I'll have these extras is if I provide them myself. They never leave here of course, these stay here. I would buy a few pairs over the weekend and see if they bring some to you. If they do then just return the ones that you bought or keep them around just in case they forget to bring them one day. I would also do as sugested above and send any and all soiled clothing home. For a family like this I wouldn't have a problem sending a hild home in only underwear if they had soiled through all of their extra clothing.

I would also require them to bring several sets of clothing especially a lot of underwear because you know that they will have at least a few accidents. I would also require pull-ups for nap and just take the twins to the bathroom a lot throughout the day. Unfortunately they probably figure that because you don't have other kids that you now have plenty of time to give to their kids and/or what are you gonna do, terminate them? KWIM?
You're right. I should probably just suck it up and get some plastic underwear and extras. I am very frustrated because my personal pride is hurt (I know, sensitive pregnancy hormones) because I am just now finding my backbone and I now have to put up with this crap because of money. I really do like these kids a lot, but the parents are making a very unreasonable request that goes directly against my policies. I feel like my summer is ruined now, because the whole summer will be spent trying to keep my house clean and running to the potty every 20 minutes. I feel bad for the other children in my care, and my own children. How can we play outside when these children cant stay dry for any period of time? I know I am venting right now and being kind of negative toward all of the responses- I'm sorry, I don't mean to be. I am just feeling very down right now about this whole situation and the money is a big issue. My goodness- the kids are not even trained at all at home! Do they really think that they will be trained in a fun, stimulating, group care environment? Just unreasonable!
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littlemissmuffet 08:03 AM 05-24-2012
I would never allow a parent to come in my house and tell me how things are going to be done. I always think it's hilarious that these parents raise 1-2 kids and think they know it all. Sorry, but I've helped raise more kids over the years than you will ever have to deal with - I am far more experienced... and besides, it's my house, my rules

I would put a pull up over the underwear. When you are out of pull ups for the day, phone one of the parents to pick up. Repeat daily as needed. They are going to get tired of this real quick if they are only supplying 1-2 pull ups per day.

Keep advertising. Make cheap business cards and hand them out to everyone you see out and about with kids, leave them in local business and schools. Print some pull tab flyers and posters to post around your neighborhood and city. Put a sign outside of you home. Register your daycare on free daycare advertising sites like godaycare.com and daycarebear.com. Get a few t-shirts made with your business name and logo and wear them everywhere - grocery shopping, out for walks, etc. Check with your local schools if they keep lists of surrounding daycare providers for parents with younger kiddos. Place an ad in locla newspapers. Get your name, number and ad in the phonebook under "daycares". Register your daycare name with Google maps and businesses! There are MANY ways to advertise your business - think outside the box.
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cheerfuldom 08:10 AM 05-24-2012
I would advertise profusely to be prepared to replace these kids. Then if I absolutely had to cave for financial reasons, I would buy cloth trainers and plastic pants myself to use in my home only. There is NO WAY I would let them run lose with just underwear. The plastic pants go on as soon as they step thru the door. I wouldnt even try to let them do underwear only.

I have also had a daycare girl completely potty trained, including naps here when she wasnt trained at home. It is possible.

Another thing is to limit drinks to what is healthy but not letting them fill up and pee all over the place.

I dont do rewards or anything for potty training but in this case, whatever it takes to keep them from going in random places.

I would also put a diaper or pull up on them (purchase cheap ones myself if I have to) so that we can still go outside for a longer period of time.
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MarinaVanessa 08:11 AM 05-24-2012
Originally Posted by SunshineMama:
You're right. I should probably just suck it up and get some plastic underwear and extras. I am very frustrated because my personal pride is hurt (I know, sensitive pregnancy hormones) because I am just now finding my backbone and I now have to put up with this crap because of money. I really do like these kids a lot, but the parents are making a very unreasonable request that goes directly against my policies. I feel like my summer is ruined now, because the whole summer will be spent trying to keep my house clean and running to the potty every 20 minutes. I feel bad for the other children in my care, and my own children. How can we play outside when these children cant stay dry for any period of time? I know I am venting right now and being kind of negative toward all of the responses- I'm sorry, I don't mean to be. I am just feeling very down right now about this whole situation and the money is a big issue. My goodness- the kids are not even trained at all at home! Do they really think that they will be trained in a fun, stimulating, group care environment? Just unreasonable!
I think we all understand that under these curcumstances when you're pretty much forced to do something that's against your grain and so you will be at least a little bitter, but don't let it beat you. Just remember that it'll only be temporary and as soon as you get a few new clients then you can say buh-bye to them "and don't let the door kit you in the @$$ on your way out". Think about how even though right now you have to put up with it you do have something to look forward to later ... handing them their 2 week termination notice.
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daycare 08:26 AM 05-24-2012
Originally Posted by littlemissmuffet:
I would never allow a parent to come in my house and tell me how things are going to be done. I always think it's hilarious that these parents raise 1-2 kids and think they know it all. Sorry, but I've helped raise more kids over the years than you will ever have to deal with - I am far more experienced... and besides, it's my house, my rules

I would put a pull up over the underwear. When you are out of pull ups for the day, phone one of the parents to pick up. Repeat daily as needed. They are going to get tired of this real quick if they are only supplying 1-2 pull ups per day.

Keep advertising. Make cheap business cards and hand them out to everyone you see out and about with kids, leave them in local business and schools. Print some pull tab flyers and posters to post around your neighborhood and city. Put a sign outside of you home. Register your daycare on free daycare advertising sites like godaycare.com and daycarebear.com. Get a few t-shirts made with your business name and logo and wear them everywhere - grocery shopping, out for walks, etc. Check with your local schools if they keep lists of surrounding daycare providers for parents with younger kiddos. Place an ad in locla newspapers. Get your name, number and ad in the phonebook under "daycares". Register your daycare name with Google maps and businesses! There are MANY ways to advertise your business - think outside the box.
I am with you!! what you do at home stays there and I do what works for me and the rest of the kids here.

I would be telling these parents sure you can bring them in underwear, not issues at all. I would ask them if they would bring pull-ups too. Place the pull-ups over the underwear.
If they won't bring pull-ups, then I have plastic pants and they will be used at my house.

Trust me when I tell you this.....when you have to hand the parents 2-3 bags of poopy pants and peed clothes at the end of each day, they will get it really quick.

I tell my parents two things..

1. No way will I subject the possibility of any child coming into contact with feces. Also the amount of time that it takes for me to clean up the children when they do have an accident will jeopardize the safety of the other children because of the lack of supervision that I can provide to the others. YOu cant be in two places at one time

2. plastic pants help the process of PT progress much quciker as kids do not like them at all and want them off. I have used this method with about 17 kids and it has worked wonders.

You can work with this family and say lets compromise you get to send them in underear; what you want and I get to keep all of the daycare kids safe by adding plastic pants; what I want. There ya go!! Win win....
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wdmmom 08:45 AM 05-24-2012
Tell DCM & DCD that they have a few different options:

1.) Bring a package of pullups to keep at the daycare. You use at your discretion during awake and/or asleep hours until they get acclimated to potty training successfully during awake hours.

2.) Tell DCF that they will be required to purchase rubber pants to keep on over the undies in the event they have an accident, it can be contained a little better.

Explain to them that you know they are eager to get these kids trained, however, accident's are prone to happen and while some people don't consider urine a health hazard, you have to because of the other children in the house. It is a bacteria filled bodily fluid and it takes a lot of time, effort and energy to properly clean them up.

I had a family that thought the transition from pullups to undies was going to be easy. We had the child wear a pull up with his undies over (so he still felt like a big boy) for several weeks until he could use the potty on his own.

You can set a timer for about every 45 minutes and try that route but it honestly sounds to me like these parents are wanting you to potty train their kids.

If the parents aren't on board with your suggestions, you might have to suck it up and buy pullups yourself for a few weeks until they can get the hang of it.
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MarinaVanessa 08:50 AM 05-24-2012
Originally Posted by littlemissmuffet:
Keep advertising. Make cheap business cards and hand them out to everyone you see out and about with kids, leave them in local business and schools. Print some pull tab flyers and posters to post around your neighborhood and city. Put a sign outside of you home. Register your daycare on free daycare advertising sites like godaycare.com and daycarebear.com. Get a few t-shirts made with your business name and logo and wear them everywhere - grocery shopping, out for walks, etc. Check with your local schools if they keep lists of surrounding daycare providers for parents with younger kiddos. Place an ad in locla newspapers. Get your name, number and ad in the phonebook under "daycares". Register your daycare name with Google maps and businesses! There are MANY ways to advertise your business - think outside the box.
Yes, keep advertising. It's like I always say, no one thing will work ... you have to do a combination of things at the same time and that will eventually get you calls weekly even when you're not advertising. The one thing that I will say about Gooogle Maps and Google Business advertising is that you have to be willing to list your address on it. Many providers don't like this but this has been one of the best things that I have ever done. I then linked my website address to my Google Business listing to drive traffic to my website giving me a higher search placement. Doing this in combination has bumped my search placement to the first page in Google Maps when you search for daycare in my area and to the second page when doing a general serach for daycare in my area in google search ... for free.

If you need more ideas (not to toot my own horn here ) check out How to Advertise Your Daycare. Feel free to PM me too if you need help with anything from creating a website to submiting your link to search sites.
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Heidi 08:57 AM 05-24-2012
Originally Posted by daycare:
I am with you!! what you do at home stays there and I do what works for me and the rest of the kids here.

I would be telling these parents sure you can bring them in underwear, not issues at all. I would ask them if they would bring pull-ups too. Place the pull-ups over the underwear.
If they won't bring pull-ups, then I have plastic pants and they will be used at my house.


Trust me when I tell you this.....when you have to hand the parents 2-3 bags of poopy pants and peed clothes at the end of each day, they will get it really quick.

I tell my parents two things..

1. No way will I subject the possibility of any child coming into contact with feces. Also the amount of time that it takes for me to clean up the children when they do have an accident will jeopardize the safety of the other children because of the lack of supervision that I can provide to the others. YOu cant be in two places at one time

2. plastic pants help the process of PT progress much quciker as kids do not like them at all and want them off. I have used this method with about 17 kids and it has worked wonders.

You can work with this family and say lets compromise you get to send them in underwear; what you want and I get to keep all of the daycare kids safe by adding plastic pants; what I want. There ya go!! Win win....
I would suggest the same. Underwear so they feel wet, but pullups over the top to protect your furniture and floors. Tell them it's a sanitation issue. If they only bring a pullup a day and they burn through it, just call them and very sweetly say "hey, I need one of you to come over and bring another pull up!" Then, put the rubber pants on until they get there.
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itlw8 09:12 AM 05-24-2012
Target carries the thick undies though they are not thick enough. They can buy them online.

regular undies are for when they are completely trained and go by themselves
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My3cents 09:16 AM 05-24-2012
Originally Posted by SunshineMama:
In pretty sure they wouldn't go for that and term me.
Wow- I am surprised by this.

Who is in charge? Are you your own Boss? Do you own your business? It is your home or Center? Are you the responsible person that has to clean this mess up?

Do you have a policy/hand/Rule book that is clearly defined?

I have only read the responses up to this point but was going to light right into you from the first response.

No Family/Money is worth having clients make you feel this way!!! It is your home. It is for the sake of everyone's health and welfare. If you ask for diapers the parents need to comply. Simple- send the child home. Do not get into a heated debate over this- simply go to your potty training policies- and they should be clear and to the point. Leave no room for wishy washy or special. Your child has to be 6 weeks no accidents before underwear will be worn at all times during daycare and pull ups for nap are a must.

If you start operating your business on what the parents tell you of how it is going to be. Your headed for a downfall. Let them leave. They will learn fast that they had a good thing going. No one should put up with this.

I once had an interview tell me to let the diaper fill up nice and full because diapers are expensive and she couldn't afford to keep buying them. No way!!! I am not for you. Go somewhere else. Then after finding out how wonderful my food program was, when I asked what the child ate at home- mostly Ramon noodles. I think the child was like 6months old, if that.

I know and understand we need the clients- but at what point is enough enough. Backbone big time is needed here and don't be bullied into a wall that they will leave. They leave they leave. It is a lot of work to go and find another daycare- most parents don't want to do this when they know they have it good.

I hope I have turned on your light and you can think clearer now- parents have a way of making us 2nd guess ourselves and what we know to be right or the way that it is. Don't cave, be strong and most likely you will earn respect for sticking to what you know is right. If not- your not losing out. Find a new family that will be willing to follow your rules and respect you-
Ugh--- Best-
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My3cents 09:26 AM 05-24-2012
Originally Posted by SunshineMama:
You're right. I should probably just suck it up and get some plastic underwear and extras. I am very frustrated because my personal pride is hurt (I know, sensitive pregnancy hormones) because I am just now finding my backbone and I now have to put up with this crap because of money. I really do like these kids a lot, but the parents are making a very unreasonable request that goes directly against my policies. I feel like my summer is ruined now, because the whole summer will be spent trying to keep my house clean and running to the potty every 20 minutes. I feel bad for the other children in my care, and my own children. How can we play outside when these children cant stay dry for any period of time? I know I am venting right now and being kind of negative toward all of the responses- I'm sorry, I don't mean to be. I am just feeling very down right now about this whole situation and the money is a big issue. My goodness- the kids are not even trained at all at home! Do they really think that they will be trained in a fun, stimulating, group care environment? Just unreasonable!
hugs,
your not being unreasonable. Don't give in. You sound like a very wonderful daycare provider. Don't compromise yourself. Let them go and start advertising like crazy. You will find another family. They can either abide by your rules or find other daycare. I know money is tight- but it is not worth your health being pregnant. You will make it through. God doesn't give us more then we can handle- even if it feels like it at times. Hang tight and hold onto your backbone that you have worked so hard to build. You don't need this one more depresser to add to your stress- Give them the choice, bring diapers, your child is clearly not ready yet or we are done.
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MarinaVanessa 09:27 AM 05-24-2012
Originally Posted by My3cents:
Wow- I am surprised by this.

Who is in charge? Are you your own Boss? Do you own your business? It is your home or Center? Are you the responsible person that has to clean this mess up?

Do you have a policy/hand/Rule book that is clearly defined?

I have only read the responses up to this point but was going to light right into you from the first response.

No Family/Money is worth having clients make you feel this way!!! It is your home. It is for the sake of everyone's health and welfare. If you ask for diapers the parents need to comply. Simple- send the child home. Do not get into a heated debate over this- simply go to your potty training policies- and they should be clear and to the point. Leave no room for wishy washy or special. Your child has to be 6 weeks no accidents before underwear will be worn at all times during daycare and pull ups for nap are a must.

If you start operating your business on what the parents tell you of how it is going to be. Your headed for a downfall. Let them leave. They will learn fast that they had a good thing going. No one should put up with this.

I once had an interview tell me to let the diaper fill up nice and full because diapers are expensive and she couldn't afford to keep buying them. No way!!! I am not for you. Go somewhere else. Then after finding out how wonderful my food program was, when I asked what the child ate at home- mostly Ramon noodles. I think the child was like 6months old, if that.

I know and understand we need the clients- but at what point is enough enough. Backbone big time is needed here and don't be bullied into a wall that they will leave. They leave they leave. It is a lot of work to go and find another daycare- most parents don't want to do this when they know they have it good.

I hope I have turned on your light and you can think clearer now- parents have a way of making us 2nd guess ourselves and what we know to be right or the way that it is. Don't cave, be strong and most likely you will earn respect for sticking to what you know is right. If not- your not losing out. Find a new family that will be willing to follow your rules and respect you-
Ugh--- Best-
I think you may have just missed the part that she just termed another family over not following the policies and still has to replace them, losing this family on top of other family that she just terminated will put her into a financial hardship. She doesn't want to put up with them but needs their income and can't afford to lose them. I know that I wouldn't put up with this either but if terming a family meant that I would get behind on my bills, mortgage etc. then I would bite my tongue until I could first find a replacement and then I would terminate them vs possibly losing my home and then my business as well KWIM?
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SunshineMama 09:34 AM 05-24-2012
Thank you ladies for all of the support, ideas, and encouragement. I am going to suck it up and do whatever I have to do- plastic pants and pull ups at my own expense if I have to, until I can replace these 2 if they are not potty trained by next week. If that doesn't work then I hope my advertising strategy will come through.

Marina-I'm going to check out that website ASAP! Thank you for sharing!

This is the big potty training weekend for this family, so hey, maybe all of my concerns will be in vain and they will come magically trained by next week. I have a fear though that they aren't going to do much and then just expect me to take the training wheels off and do it for them. I've caught this family in small lies (more like omissions) about illness, etc before.

My3Cents- On any other occasion, I would stand my ground, but I just termed a constantly sick boy for breaking my policy and if I lose these two kids too I will literally lose my car, my home, and everything else I have worked so hard for. It will be over $2,100 a month in income lost between the kid I termed and potentially terming these 2 so I just can't. (right now anyway) All I need is 1 replacement and I can scrape by, but missing the income from 3 kids would devastate my family
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My3cents 09:37 AM 05-24-2012
Another idea for you - sorry I don't like plastic pants and I don't much care for pull ups other then for at night time.

I would the parents that if you refuse to bring diapers that I will buy them and bill you for them along with your weekly tuition.

Please go back and read Mrs.Muffets advice- she has been doing this for a very long time and she is right on!!! Don't negotiate- your house your rules. Being pregnant, its not good for you to be handling soils anymore then you have to, let along the other kids in your care. Health issue- and that is how you should put it to your parents. Health issue- sorry until dry for 6 weeks- we need to be in diapers or a pull up and those are provided by you and I need to have enough to be able to do my job.

I have my parents bring a sleeve of them and they know when I get low to refurbish the supply.
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skittles 10:39 AM 05-24-2012
I have had one family in the past do this to me only they were not so open about it. Just one day they decided their almost 3 yr old son (2 1/2 yr old) was fully potty trained so they sent him in underware. Of course when I asked them about it they said he was fully potty trained at home and they were done with diapers, pull ups ect.. He had started to potty train but was far from being accident free. I knew explanation and arguing with this family would get me no where based on past issues with them. So I did get them to bring pull ups for nap. Every day after mom dropped off little guy a pull up went on and the underware went over the pull up. I did have to go out and purchase one bag of diapers per month. I would sill take him to the bathroom but his diapers stilled stayed on. Prior to mom's arrival each night the diaper would come off. So one day the mom dropped off her son late and said she had to change her son because he peed in the car. I'm like so I thought he was 100 percent potty trained at home. Which I figured out was a lie on their part as well because his clothes always had a faint urine smell. So I guess you could lie about it as long as the girls won't tell on you.
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LittleD 10:49 AM 05-24-2012
Keep Positive!! Maybe they will catch on quick at your house!!

I had 2 yr old, who I thought was NO WHERE NEAR ready, whos mom said no more diapers. No PHB for me, so I just tossed a diaper over his undies/under his clothes. He had maybe 3 accidents the first wekk- then he was fine I was very pleasantly surprised! (And no going every 20 mins either)
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My3cents 11:00 AM 05-24-2012
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
I think you may have just missed the part that she just termed another family over not following the policies and still has to replace them, losing this family on top of other family that she just terminated will put her into a financial hardship. She doesn't want to put up with them but needs their income and can't afford to lose them. I know that I wouldn't put up with this either but if terming a family meant that I would get behind on my bills, mortgage etc. then I would bite my tongue until I could first find a replacement and then I would terminate them vs possibly losing my home and then my business as well KWIM?
I did miss that part- thank you

I think you should still stick to your guns and if they don't want to bring diapers, bill them. It is a health issue- Up your rate and provide them yourself.

Advertise like crazy!!!!!

I do understand- but again at some point enough is enough. Hang in there
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youretooloud 11:03 AM 05-24-2012
I would tell them that I need them to go cold turkey starting Saturday. If they are truly ready, they will be trained in two or three days. So, cold turkey at home, then by Tuesday, they should be potty trained.

I would buy a pack of plastic pants, and if you have a children's consignment store, you can buy some thick training pants to put under the plastic pants.

Require thick shorts or skorts if they are girls. (I love the skorts for training, because there's more fabric) and extra training pants. I've even added an absorbant liner to shorts before so they had extra protection.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/92773461...m_campaign=api

http://www.etsy.com/listing/82059065...s-boxer-shorts

These are just ideas for old boys or girls shorts. I can't really sew very well, but, this basic idea actually works pretty well over underpants.
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WImom 11:08 AM 05-24-2012
I'd almost be tempted buy pull ups and put them over the child's pants. That way the parents still have to wash all the extra clothing but your floors are clean. You'd also have a valid reason that they are not potty trained when all week they are getting sent home wet clothes. They may get sick of all the laundry as well and go back to diapers.
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My3cents 11:11 AM 05-24-2012
Originally Posted by SunshineMama:
Thank you ladies for all of the support, ideas, and encouragement. I am going to suck it up and do whatever I have to do- plastic pants and pull ups at my own expense if I have to, until I can replace these 2 if they are not potty trained by next week. If that doesn't work then I hope my advertising strategy will come through.

Marina-I'm going to check out that website ASAP! Thank you for sharing!

This is the big potty training weekend for this family, so hey, maybe all of my concerns will be in vain and they will come magically trained by next week. I have a fear though that they aren't going to do much and then just expect me to take the training wheels off and do it for them. I've caught this family in small lies (more like omissions) about illness, etc before.

My3Cents- On any other occasion, I would stand my ground, but I just termed a constantly sick boy for breaking my policy and if I lose these two kids too I will literally lose my car, my home, and everything else I have worked so hard for. It will be over $2,100 a month in income lost between the kid I termed and potentially terming these 2 so I just can't. (right now anyway) All I need is 1 replacement and I can scrape by, but missing the income from 3 kids would devastate my family


Again, I do understand- I think if I were you, I would just up my rate with them and buy diapers. I am taking it that they are no way near ready to be potty trained??? You have an idea when kids are ready- Advertise up a storm and things will turn around for you. Demand to be respected- you got it in you. Remind me when I fall too:-) Thanks to many here who have helped me shape my back bone- My thoughts to you are- do what you have to do until you can replace them.
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Heidi 11:20 AM 05-24-2012
Originally Posted by WImom:
I'd almost be tempted buy pull ups and put them over the child's pants. That way the parents still have to wash all the extra clothing but your floors are clean. You'd also have a valid reason that they are not potty trained when all week they are getting sent home wet clothes. They may get sick of all the laundry as well and go back to diapers.
yep!
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SunnyDay 11:34 AM 05-24-2012
Originally Posted by Heidi:
yep!
This was my thought as well. There are store brand pull-ups that aren't too ridiculously priced. It would definitely be better than losing income that you need. Good luck!
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SunshineMama 12:05 PM 05-24-2012
Thanks everyone! I now have a plan and feel a bit more in control of the situation, even if I have to swallow my pride temporairly.

I am still reasonably annoyed by this entire situation but having a plan of action to take back control is easing my stress level!
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Heidi 01:36 PM 05-24-2012
I had a kiddo years ago who had ALOT of behavioral stuff

When his mom walked in one day (he was 22 months) and said she felt he was ready, I said "OMG she's kidding!" She claimed that at home, he ran around in just unders and was fine. uh...sure....

I reluctantly agreed to try it for one week, but if there were tons of accidents, she'd buy pullups.

He NEVER had an accident! Not once!

Maybe that'll happen for you....
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SunshineMama 01:55 PM 05-24-2012
Originally Posted by Heidi:
I had a kiddo years ago who had ALOT of behavioral stuff

When his mom walked in one day (he was 22 months) and said she felt he was ready, I said "OMG she's kidding!" She claimed that at home, he ran around in just unders and was fine. uh...sure....

I reluctantly agreed to try it for one week, but if there were tons of accidents, she'd buy pullups.

He NEVER had an accident! Not once!

Maybe that'll happen for you....
Fingers crossed! Did that child ask you to use the potty or did you have to take them at regular intervals?
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littlemisssunshine 02:24 PM 05-24-2012
Originally Posted by MarinaVanessa:
I think we all understand that under these curcumstances when you're pretty much forced to do something that's against your grain and so you will be at least a little bitter, but don't let it beat you. Just remember that it'll only be temporary and as soon as you get a few new clients then you can say buh-bye to them "and don't let the door kit you in the @$$ on your way out". Think about how even though right now you have to put up with it you do have something to look forward to later ... handing them their 2 week termination notice.
love this hahah im putting up with a dcm that i can no longer stand BUT i am waiting for that moment when i get a new DCK oh how sweet giving her 2 weeks notice will feel
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cheerfuldom 03:13 PM 05-24-2012
Originally Posted by youretooloud:
I would tell them that I need them to go cold turkey starting Saturday. If they are truly ready, they will be trained in two or three days. So, cold turkey at home, then by Tuesday, they should be potty trained.

I would buy a pack of plastic pants, and if you have a children's consignment store, you can buy some thick training pants to put under the plastic pants.

Require thick shorts or skorts if they are girls. (I love the skorts for training, because there's more fabric) and extra training pants. I've even added an absorbant liner to shorts before so they had extra protection.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/92773461...m_campaign=api

http://www.etsy.com/listing/82059065...s-boxer-shorts

These are just ideas for old boys or girls shorts. I can't really sew very well, but, this basic idea actually works pretty well over underpants.
yeah well since they conveniently dont want to start training till Tues. aka after the holiday, you know they arent doing anything at home. they have the OP cornered and they know it. It wouldnt surprise if they know about this other boy being termed and figure that the OP wont want to lose them right now.
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Doodlebug 05:25 PM 05-24-2012
I lost my first post so I hope this doesn't post twice.

I've had parents that have felt this way and sometimes you have to let them know you are willing to give their suggestion a try but since they have a need to be met so do you. Because you are licensed there are certain criteria that needs to be met. Health and safety of the other children are a concern. There is the supervision factor, when you are potty training another child it takes extra time away from the other children so that has to be adjusted. Then there is the health concerns of the other children when dealing with accidents. Everything has to be cleaned up.

So! I've told them they need to go cold turkey at home for three days to help prep the children for your three days of cold turkey. That means the car trip, shopping trips, everything... no diapers on their part. They need to report back to you their success and of course the parents suggestions for their child's success (doesn't mean you need to do that). While they are doing their underwear days, (which should be Friday, Saturday, and Sunday on their part). Then you can do Monday thru Wednesday, while they can still use no diapers. It is a transition period tell them.

Then have them sign the poop and pee contract (extra beyond their tuition contract), that they agree to pay for all professional cleaning of your carpets due to excessive potty accidents until their child is completely trained. I also bag up all messes and send them home. Bags hang outside because I don't want my house smelling like poop. Tell them it is all about success so their children will not be reprimanded for accidents. You need to have at least 5 changes of clothes per child per day there.

I would also be looking for a new family to replace them. They definitely do not respect you and you deserve their respect. Good Luck, I hope this works out for you.
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Abigail 06:11 PM 05-24-2012
Originally Posted by SunshineMama:
I'm in a bit of a predicament.

I asked dcp's 2 days ago to bring more diapers and wipes. Yesterday- nothing. Today, dcd tells me they will no longer be purchasing diapers and they will be bringing their twins in underwear as of next Tuesday, and we will be using pull ups.
I previously agreed to trying the underwear as an experiment to see if they would be responsive, but I intend on having a back up for nap time, etc to see if it doesn't work.

These children have never gone a full day without an accident. They were doh g okay with telling me they had to potty for a while, then regressed for some reason and rarely tell me. They can't even keep their diapers dry for 1.5 hora at a time. Dcd stated the children ate just being lazy and choosing to use diapers. Dcm says that she doesn't think they are able to recognize when they have to go. Both dcp's have decided they just are going cold turkey ubderwear only after Monday.

I have a phb that says they must tell me for 2 weeks without accidents before coming in underwear.

Clearly, you can tell that this is not going to turn out well for me. The parents are just pushing something that is only setting up everyone to fail.

I have 2 options: put up with the pee and poop all over my house, or get termed by this family. I suggested plastic underwear over the regular and hard had no response. The problem is that I just termed another family for breaking my rules and I need the income. I have interviews coming up to replace dcb I just termed but nothing solid yet.

What should I do? My dcp's all decided to take advantage of me all at once
You just said it. Don't try to find a solution, but tell them AGAIN in the morning and also send a short letter home as proof of a reminder that they need diapers. To make your letter more in length without fluff, just copy/paste the section from the handbook as your reference. Simply add at the end of the letter that if they arrive without diapers that they can go with you to the store in the morning. LOL....ok I guess I don't say that but after telling the parents 3 days in a row they always remember.

Keep in mind that you've been focusing on this ALL DAY and are starting to over think things. Just simply tell them again you need diapers. The twins must be two weeks accident free while in diapers prior to changing to underwear. If they choose to provide (make sure to say provide instead of use so they understand they have to buy them!) pull-ups that is fine, but diapers are cheaper.
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renodeb 07:22 AM 05-25-2012
Your situation reminds me of a simular situation I had with my dck who is almost 4 now. When he turned 3 mom decides no more diapers for him its underware all the way. (keep in mind that I already know how this will turn out). First day he comes in undies he pees with it minutes. I send him home in a pullup. Second day in undies he pees before I can get the pullup on. Oh he was pooping his pants to (gross). I finally get to talk to Dad (they are divorsed) and he and I agree that he is not near ready for underware and on his days he is brought in pullups when dad had pullups. All the while mom insists on underware and to just send home the soiled ones with her. Her theory is that the pullups will cause him to have a set back. Well months and months go by and no progress so I went out and bought a pack of pullups myself and as soon as he is through the door I have him change. I could tell mom was not happy but she keeps bringing him. It has only been in the last 2 months that he has made that finaly leap with not going in his undies. Oh and btw all the while mom and dad say he never has accidents at home and cant understand why he is at my place. Bottom line is that you need to do what is best for you and your dc. Hopefully that does not include terming him or them terming you! I would put them in a pullup right away until they make good progress. Funny though, to me pullups are really just diapers that you can pull up so they real arent cutting anything out! good luck.
Debbie
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Tags:diapers provided, parents - don't cooperate
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