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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Refusing To Clean Up Before Lunch
sahm2three 10:54 AM 03-03-2011
I have an almost 2 year old who is SMART. I ask him to clean and he scowls at me and says NO! Every day I have to physically take his hands and help him pick up. He thinks it is funny and so I thought today, he can do it himself. I told him that he must clean up before he can sit down to lunch. He sat himself down on the floor and said no. Everyone else is eating, and he still refuses to clean up. How long do I let this go on?? He is winning, and I feel like I cannot let this child win. He is an only child and is SUPER strong willed. What would you do??
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jen 11:21 AM 03-03-2011
I have one like this too!

I assigned everyone a group of toys (blocks, trucks, books, etc.) to be picked up, set a timer, and whoever was done before the timer went off got a sticker.

When each child finished picking up their toys, they got a sticker and washed up for lunch. He sat on the floor and bellowed, so we sat down to eat. I didn't remind, cajole, encourage, or otherwise make contact, not even eye contact. Once he realized that his screaming wasn't getting him anywhere, he picked up his toy and joined us at the table.

My other piece of advice is to start out small...pick one or two things for him to pick up. The red truck and yellow block...if it seems overwhelming to him, he'll give up before he gets started.

Increase the amount to be picked up over a couple of weeks, gradually fade out rewards (sticker). Mine had it all done in less than 5 minutes today, not a single whine.
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Abigail 11:26 AM 03-03-2011
How much was left for him to clean up? We usually have everyone clean up together while watching those who are not cleaning. Then we ask all those who were cleaning to come sit at the table when about 20 or less toys are left for the one or two kids who were not cleaning. They must pick up those remaining toys before joining the rest for lunch. Some kids are done with lunch before they finish picking up. The longest it goes on is about 20 minutes, but usually it gets done within 3-5 minutes.
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sahm2three 12:38 PM 03-03-2011
There were litterally 5 toys left on the floor. Everyone was picking up but him. So I had everyone else quit and we washed up for unch. He was left to finish. He wouldn't do it. I once again had to physically MAKE him clean up!!! He was about 45 minutes late for nap. What a nightmare! Five toys! Ugh! What do I do next time???
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DCMomOf3 12:42 PM 03-03-2011
have you tried making cleanup fun? Maybe if he thinks its fun or a game he will be more willing to help. I know when I have trouble getting kids to put toys a way, I make a race and put a time on it, like 60 seconds, then start counting aloud. They will run and put away as fast as they can to be done before I say 60.
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grandmom 12:42 PM 03-03-2011
If you want to nip this in the bud I'd suggest you be firm now and not back down.

Tell him what toys he is responsible for - only a few as OP suggested.

Nap time is at the regular time. If he get's his toys put away in time to eat, great. If he has time to only eat half a piece of bread, great. If he goes straight to nap, great. He will learn the lesson even faster.

Seriously, this is the beginning of a fight that you can't loose. If you do, the other children will do it too.

He WON'T STARVE if he misses luch.
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sahm2three 01:28 PM 03-03-2011
Originally Posted by grandmom:
If you want to nip this in the bud I'd suggest you be firm now and not back down.

Tell him what toys he is responsible for - only a few as OP suggested.

Nap time is at the regular time. If he get's his toys put away in time to eat, great. If he has time to only eat half a piece of bread, great. If he goes straight to nap, great. He will learn the lesson even faster.

Seriously, this is the beginning of a fight that you can't loose. If you do, the other children will do it too.

He WON'T STARVE if he misses luch.
Not even sure if this is legal! This is what I would do if it were my kids, but not sure it is legal to do in my regs! I will have to check. I talked to mom about the issues we have been having with him, and she just laughs and thinks he is so cute. He is a nightmare! He woke up with major attitude. Ugh. He is my "no" boy. Everything I say, he says NO! And knows what it means too! Terrble 2's already! Can't we just skip the 2's?!?!?!?
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Michael 01:54 PM 03-03-2011
Originally Posted by grandmom:
If you want to nip this in the bud I'd suggest you be firm now and not back down.

Tell him what toys he is responsible for - only a few as OP suggested.
I would agree with this but you should use his favorite toy/game for leverage not lunch/food. He simply needs to gain/win when he does what he is supposed to OR loses when he does not.
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Blackcat31 01:59 PM 03-03-2011
Originally Posted by sahm2three:
Not even sure if this is legal! This is what I would do if it were my kids, but not sure it is legal to do in my regs! I will have to check. I talked to mom about the issues we have been having with him, and she just laughs and thinks he is so cute. He is a nightmare! He woke up with major attitude. Ugh. He is my "no" boy. Everything I say, he says NO! And knows what it means too! Terrble 2's already! Can't we just skip the 2's?!?!?!?
We spend the first year of their life teaching them to do all kinds of things and then spend the second year of their life trying toget them NOT to do things. First year is Yes, yes, yes and second year is all no no no !

Jerry Seinfeld: Kids don’t say “Wait.” They say “Wait up, hey, wait up!” Because when you’re little, your life is up. The future is up. Everything you want is up. “Hold up. Shut up! Mom, I’ll clean up. Let me stay up.” Parents, of course, are just the opposite. Everything is down. “Just calm down. Slow down. Come down here! Sit down. Put…that…down!” “I’m Telling You For The Last Time.” HBO
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Little People 02:12 PM 03-03-2011
Could you maybe tomorrow have him play by himself with 1 toy for a few minutes then tell him to put that one away? If he refuses to put it away, then that is the toy he would play with till he puts it away, this way at lunch there would be no struggle??

Then if he puts the toy away, give him 2 toys to play with and repeat.

You may have to have him play by himself for a few days till he gets the hang of it.
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mickey2 02:52 PM 03-03-2011
https://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=26850

They have to be taught to clean up. Dcb that I have it took me 3 days to train him. He would absolutely refuse to pick up. He would just stand there with his arms crossed defiantly. I would get the others to pick up their share of the toys and save some for him. Then I would say ***x..... so and so picked up the blocks and now it is your turn. He would stand there and refuse. So that day I put him in a chair and started the other children on an activity that I knew he liked.

That day it was painting. He loves to paint. I would then tell him. Would you like to paint too? He would nod. I would take him out of the chair and say okay cleanup and we can paint. He would stand there. So back in the chair. I would go over and express such an interest in what the others were doing. Wow how nice Ted! What a beautiful picture Sara! Then go back to him and say would you like to paint? He would nod so back out of the chair and again I would say okay clean up and we can paint. I did this over and over again until he cleaned up. Then I told him what a good boy he was and that he could paint.

The second day it was playdoh we were playing with. Each child had their own area at the table while I was preparing lunch. When lunch was ready I said okay everyone cleanup. Each child put their playdoh into their playdoh container and I walked around with the bin to collect the playdoh toys and each child put the toys and their container of playdoh in the bin. He refused to put the playdoh in his container or pick up the toys. I said okay you need to clean up before you have lunch.

I washed the childrens hands wiped the table and began to give them their plates of food. I said *** would you like lunch, he nodded. I told him you need to clean up the playdoh. I went over and held his container to put the playdoh in, he shoved it away in front of him. I said okay then you can't have lunch until you clean up.

It took several times for me to go back and do this over and over and over. The other children had finished had their snacks and were put down for their naps before he finally would pick up. But he did! It took about 1/2 hour to 45 minutes.

Now all I say everyday is time to clean up and he does it no problem.



I had to be very consistent and patient but in the end I won.
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countrymom 05:43 AM 03-04-2011
I did what childrens first did (it was my thread that started it too.)
so I clean up at 10am (cause the kids have been here for 2 hours) and before lunch which usually isn't too big and just before nap (which is very little)
so the first day, they all thought i was crazy making them clean up, and it was a struggle
next day we cleaned up at the same time and 2 of the kids didn't want to, so they got to sit in a chair and watch the other kids clean every thing up BUT then I rewarded all those who cleaned up, boy where those 2 kids mad (it was heart candy)
so the third day, again 2 kids didn't want to clean up, but that day we were having a birthday party after lunch. Well guess what, they didn't get to each cupcakes (this was a treat not a lunch) well the next day, I haven't had a problem since.
I don't always reward them, but they all clean up, and are getting better. I hate rewarding but its working, but like I said I don't always give them something. It does take a while but it does work.
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