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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Sleep (Or Lack Of It) At Home?
Daycare_Mama 11:59 AM 01-30-2012
Hi everyone. I have a question regarding how to handle the issue of kids not getting enough sleep at home.
I am unlicensed, so just have one little boy right now. He is 2.5 and does NOT get enough sleep at home. A kid his age needs 12-14 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period (national sleep foundation) and he doesn't even come close to that. On a good night, he will get 9 hours of sleep a night (9:30pm-6:30am). But sometimes she'll tell me he didn't fall asleep until 10pm (or later!). Also, a new issue the last month or so has been him waking up at 4:30am and screaming and refusing to lay back down. So he ranges between 7-9 hours per night, which is crazy.
He gets to my house at 7:15ish, so on days like that, he'll already have been up for almost 3 hours before he gets to me. When that happens, I put him right back to bed and although he would sleep for hours, I usually wake him up after 2, so he can have breakfast, play outside and still get an afternoon nap as well. So on days where he gets 7 hours at night, if I nap him for 2 hours in the morning and 2 hours in the afternoon, he's STILL getting less then he should, but at least close to it.
So my problem is with mom. Although she has never flat out said she doesn't want me putting him down for morning naps on days where he got no sleep the night before, she has made remarks that let me know she only wants him to take a 2 hour afternoon nap and that maybe he's not sleeping at home because he sleeps too long for nap. However, I know this is not true because I have had him spend a few nights here in a row as well as an occasional night here and there and he will sleep 12 hours straight at night for me (8pm-8am) and he'll still take a 2 hour afternoon nap, getting him a much needed 14 hours of sleep in 24 hours.
I tried keeping him up as normal when he came once after being up at 4:30 and he was a terror, so there's no way I will deal with him until afternoon naptime when he's been awake since 4:30am. So, when she tells me he's been up since 4:30, down he goes back to sleep.
I've explained to mom that sleep begets sleep and I think he wouldn't wake up so early if he was actually getting a full nights of sleep and regular naps. I honestly think he's overtired, which makes it even harder to sleep. She only naps him at home if they happen to be home - it's not a priority. I've sent her emails/links, I've offered to borrow her a really good book on sleep, but it doesn't do anything. She always says they are going to work on getting bedtime earlier, but they never do. Maybe once in a blue moon, but nothing consistent.
I don't want to term him. I have no problem putting him down for a morning and afternoon nap if he only got 7 hours of sleep the night before. He generally behaves very well for me, goes to sleep very easily, and is a generally great kid. And with the exception of this sleep issue, the parents are fantastic. I will say he is a completely different kid for his parents - hits them, yells at them, etc. But he doesn't give me any problems. I just wish I could get his parents on board with a consistent sleep schedule.
Any advice? Does anyone also have kids that come sleep deprived? What do you do? TIA
I am unlicensed, so just have one little boy right now. He is 2.5 and does NOT get enough sleep at home. A kid his age needs 12-14 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period (national sleep foundation) and he doesn't even come close to that. On a good night, he will get 9 hours of sleep a night (9:30pm-6:30am). But sometimes she'll tell me he didn't fall asleep until 10pm (or later!). Also, a new issue the last month or so has been him waking up at 4:30am and screaming and refusing to lay back down. So he ranges between 7-9 hours per night, which is crazy.
He gets to my house at 7:15ish, so on days like that, he'll already have been up for almost 3 hours before he gets to me. When that happens, I put him right back to bed and although he would sleep for hours, I usually wake him up after 2, so he can have breakfast, play outside and still get an afternoon nap as well. So on days where he gets 7 hours at night, if I nap him for 2 hours in the morning and 2 hours in the afternoon, he's STILL getting less then he should, but at least close to it.
So my problem is with mom. Although she has never flat out said she doesn't want me putting him down for morning naps on days where he got no sleep the night before, she has made remarks that let me know she only wants him to take a 2 hour afternoon nap and that maybe he's not sleeping at home because he sleeps too long for nap. However, I know this is not true because I have had him spend a few nights here in a row as well as an occasional night here and there and he will sleep 12 hours straight at night for me (8pm-8am) and he'll still take a 2 hour afternoon nap, getting him a much needed 14 hours of sleep in 24 hours.
I tried keeping him up as normal when he came once after being up at 4:30 and he was a terror, so there's no way I will deal with him until afternoon naptime when he's been awake since 4:30am. So, when she tells me he's been up since 4:30, down he goes back to sleep.
I've explained to mom that sleep begets sleep and I think he wouldn't wake up so early if he was actually getting a full nights of sleep and regular naps. I honestly think he's overtired, which makes it even harder to sleep. She only naps him at home if they happen to be home - it's not a priority. I've sent her emails/links, I've offered to borrow her a really good book on sleep, but it doesn't do anything. She always says they are going to work on getting bedtime earlier, but they never do. Maybe once in a blue moon, but nothing consistent.
I don't want to term him. I have no problem putting him down for a morning and afternoon nap if he only got 7 hours of sleep the night before. He generally behaves very well for me, goes to sleep very easily, and is a generally great kid. And with the exception of this sleep issue, the parents are fantastic. I will say he is a completely different kid for his parents - hits them, yells at them, etc. But he doesn't give me any problems. I just wish I could get his parents on board with a consistent sleep schedule.
Any advice? Does anyone also have kids that come sleep deprived? What do you do? TIA
Heidi 12:09 PM 01-30-2012
I say do what you need to do, and stop talking to mom about it if you can. She doesn't want to know, and you can't control what she does.
Sad...
I feel bad for him. Not now, because he has you looking out for him, but when he gets to school, it will not be fun. He will probably still have the same sleep issues, but no opportunity for napping, and that will cause problems at school. I sure hope I am wrong!
Sad...
I feel bad for him. Not now, because he has you looking out for him, but when he gets to school, it will not be fun. He will probably still have the same sleep issues, but no opportunity for napping, and that will cause problems at school. I sure hope I am wrong!
Daycaremomof2 12:21 PM 01-30-2012
I have a 13 month old dcg whose parents put her to bed at 10pm and get her up at 6am. They are afraid if they put her down earlier she wont sleep all night for them. I gues they don't know that sleep begets sleep.
Anyway, as soon as she is done for breakfast I put her down for a morning nap, which is usually about 2 hours long. She also takes a 2 hour nap in the afternoon, sometimes 3.
I was always wondering why she was so crabby in the mornings and acting irritable, until one day the mom told me about their 10:00 sleep schedule- that was when I switched to earlier naps right after breakfast. It has helped 100%.
My 4 year old still takes 2-3 hours of naps at home, and gets 10-11 hours of solid sleep. Kids need sleep to repair their bodies and their brains.
Wish all parents knew that!
Anyway, as soon as she is done for breakfast I put her down for a morning nap, which is usually about 2 hours long. She also takes a 2 hour nap in the afternoon, sometimes 3.
I was always wondering why she was so crabby in the mornings and acting irritable, until one day the mom told me about their 10:00 sleep schedule- that was when I switched to earlier naps right after breakfast. It has helped 100%.
My 4 year old still takes 2-3 hours of naps at home, and gets 10-11 hours of solid sleep. Kids need sleep to repair their bodies and their brains.
Wish all parents knew that!
Unregistered 12:23 PM 01-30-2012
Have you thought about putting the child down for a morning nap and just not mentioning it to the mom? Yes, it is not what she wants, but gee whiz, it sounds like it is what is best for the child. If you are thinking about terminating over this then its worth a try.
greenhouse 12:29 PM 01-30-2012
We started laying our toddler down at 7pm every night, no exceptions and it ended all of our sleep shenanigans. Their bodies know when sleep should happen when parents provide the structure. His rythms are all off, poor kid.
Daycare_Mama 12:37 PM 01-30-2012
Thanks everyone. I guess my post is more of a vent then a question, as it's clear what needs to happen. Parents need to put him down early and enforce naps. I know I can't make them do this, but I wish there was a way!
permanentvacation 01:16 PM 01-30-2012
I have a daycare girl who has not slept well at home for about a year - since she was 2 1/2 years old. She is tired here all day until nap. She's hateful, gets in trouble, and has a horrible day ALL day long! After she takes her nap, she's a little better, but not a whole lot better! I've talked with the parents about her lack of sleep. She sounds like she has nightmares almost every night! She also seems to have night terrors 2-3 nights a week! This has been going on for almost a year! I told the parents to take her to the doctors about it, but they haven't done so. She does often fuss in her sleep during naptime here.
I have tried having morning nap, but she doesn't get much better anyway and the other kids really are not tired in the morning for a nap, so I just make her wait til the normal naptime. There have been times when she gets into so much trouble here that I finally lay her down instead of just putting her in time out. Often when I have done that, she will sleep for 6 hours if I leave her alone! So, it's as if she feels safer sleeping during the day rather than the night. The times that she slept almost all day, she never had nightmares or night terrors. She just slept REALLY GOOD!
I have tried having morning nap, but she doesn't get much better anyway and the other kids really are not tired in the morning for a nap, so I just make her wait til the normal naptime. There have been times when she gets into so much trouble here that I finally lay her down instead of just putting her in time out. Often when I have done that, she will sleep for 6 hours if I leave her alone! So, it's as if she feels safer sleeping during the day rather than the night. The times that she slept almost all day, she never had nightmares or night terrors. She just slept REALLY GOOD!